All language subtitles for bad grandmas

Watch it.

Old lady.

Well, aren't you sweet.

Excuse me, miss.

Ma'am we are
closing for the day.

Well could I just use the
ladies room for a minute?

Oh, okay, it's
just down the hall.

Oh, thank you hun.

You're just so nice, thank you.

Hello.

Oh, okay I'll be right there.

Hey Jim,

I have to pick up my
daughter from daycare,

they close early today.

I'll see ya tomorrow.

[Jim] All right, see
you in the morning.

Excuse me.

I'm sorry ma'am but we're
about to close for the day,

I'm just about to leave.

If you could just talk
me for just a few minutes,

I'd really appreciate it.

Okay, I only have a second.

Is this about a new
policy or an existing one?

I'm sure there must be
something nice about you,

but I just heard
you're really selfish

and a manipulative bastard.

Pardon me.

You have done bad, bad
things to my friend Bobby.

Listen lady, I don't
what your deal is

but I'm gonna have
to call the police.

Oh no you're not.

No you're not.

Put that phone down.

We're not done here yet.

Put your hands up.

Oh I love that Tammy Wynette.

You have a beautiful
voice sweetie,

you could have been
bigger than Tammy.

Thanks, Virginia.

You are so modest,
you know you can sing.

You should do it again Mimi.

Oh Virginia, don't be
silly, I'm too old to do that.

Besides who'd come and see me.

Us.

And maybe we could
meet some nice men.

Oh, there aren't any nice men.

Oh Coralee.

- No, no, no.
- Yes there are.

They're just not
interested in us.

Most of the men we've
known are in the cemetery

or in a nursing home.

Well we'd still come to see
you, and my daughter Ava too.

Yeah, your daughter maybe.

Is Lisa still
not talking to you?

Nope.

Oh, what's wrong
with kids these days?

Where is that Bobby?

We have to get started
on our rummy game,

it's not like her to be late.

Maybe that's Bobby now.

Bobby, where have you been?

What?

What's the matter?

Oh Mimi (sobs).

Oh sweetheart.

Bobby, what's the matter?

We were so worried about you.

Well, my ex-son-in-law
James, Jim,

the guy who owns my house,

he's trying to force me out.

What?

Can he do that?

How in the world
did that happen?

Before Amy passed away.

Oh sweetheart,
we all miss her.

I signed my house over to Amy,

in a trust, while she
was still married to Jim.

The agreement was that
she would keep the house

but as long as I was still
alive, I could stay there.

I didn't realize that she
signed everything over to Jim.

And now that Amy's
gone, he wants me out.

Oh, that son of a bitch.

That was just a few months
ago, you are still grieving.

Do you want a
piece of pie, Bobby?

Yes Virginia, I would
like a piece of pie.

[Coralee] Here you go.

You know what, this
just dills my pickle.

I mean, you just lost your
daughter, just a few months ago,

and now this.

Nobody deserves
that kind of luck.

Especially you Bobby.

Girls.

We gotta do
something about this.

This is really good pie.

So, there you have it.

Now you do what's
right for Bobby,

so she doesn't end
up on the street.

Now listen lady,

you're gonna be in a
great deal of trouble

for holding me at gunpoint.

There isn't any way around it.

You should worry
about yourself.

You know, when Father Time's
breathing down your neck

and you don't have
much left to lose,

you can become a very
dangerous person.

But I never took
nothing from you.

What'd you say your name was?

It don't matter
what my name is.

This is about Bobby.

Now I want you to give
her, her house back.

Bobby is a terrible person.

She was a lousy mother-in-law.

Mother-in-law's are
supposed to be lousy,

that doesn't change
a damn thing.

Now, I want you to give
her her house back.

Okay.

Okay, you win.

Just need to get the paperwork
out of that file cabinet

and then I'll make it happen.

Well.

Okay.

Hold it.

You might have a gun
stashed in there.

Nice try old binny.

- Oh no!
- But it's over.

Oh.

Oh God.

Oh.

Oh no.

Oh Jesus, Jesus
help me, help me.

Oh.

I didn't mean for you to
die, but you did deserve it.

And I don't know if
there is a hereafter,

but if there is,

I hope your ex-wife is
up there kicking your ass

for screwing over her mother
with your dirty dealings.

Hello?

Oh Coralee, get yourselves
over here right away.

Things have gotten
all screwed up.

The son of a bitch,
what is he doing?

He's not co-operating?

Oh it's way beyond that.

Like how?

Well, he's kind
of, sort of, dead.

What do you mean?

He can't be sort of dead.

He's either dead or he ain't.

Well if you put
that way then I guess,

I guess he's dead.

So get your butts over here,

right now so we can
get rid of the body.

Oh and bring some
cleaning supplies, bye.

Oh thank goodness you're
here, come here, quick.

Well he sure ain't
playing possum.

Well of course not
Coralee, he's dead.

He shot himself.

He committed suicide?

No, he sort of
accidentally shot himself.

He had a gun?

No, Virginia it was my gun.

I don't get it.

Bobby, there's no
time to explain, okay.

We just, we gotta
get rid of the body.

Get rid of it where?

Anywhere but here.

He wasn't the best son-in-law,

but I didn't wish
him to be dead.

Mm hmm.

But a dead man, is a good man.

Coralee stop talking.

What?

We gotta get rid of this body.

Oh, this is gonna
be a disaster.

We are gonna be in so much
trouble, so much trouble.

Bobby will you stop whining
and just let me think.

Oh here we go again.

Dammit, you're as much
trouble dead as he was alive.

Wait, maybe we can put
him in this office chair

and wheel him out.

Get over here.

That is a good idea.

Okay.

Help me with this chair.

You girls get ready.

Wooh.

Okay, one, two, three.

Good job, good
job girls, good job.

- Oh my goodness.
- Get his legs, get his legs.

Here wait a minute.

Okay, now let's get
him out of here.

Coralee is your butt gonna
fit through that door?

Watch your hand Coralee.

Oh.

Okay Coralee, let's put him
in the backseat of your car,

it'll a lot easier than trying
to get him in the trunk.

No, no, no, no, no.

Why my car?

I don't want this old
dead gizzard in my car.

Shut your trap Coralee.

No, no, he's gonna
bleed all over my stuff...

No, no, no, no.

Ah, get him!

Okay.

Oh my God, going in my car.

See if you just be quiet,
let's just get this done.

All right come on, let's
get him in the car.

You open it open Virginia.

I'm trying.

Here you go, okay.

Now I'm gonna go around,

you push I'll pull.

Wait, wait, wait
let me get my purse.

Okay, watch his leg there.

Okay.

[Mimi] Push, push.

[Bobby] Move the
chair, move the chair.

I got it Bobby okay.

Should I get the door for you?

No, no, I got it.

You help them.

Don't touch my car.

[Bobby] Come on
Virginia, hurry up.

Okay.

[Virginia] Do we look okay?

Yeah we do.

[Virginia] Are you out of gas?

[Bobby] Pump it, pump it.

No, no, no.

What'd you do to my car?

What are we gonna do now?

Oh Virginia, will you relax.

You act like you've never
seen a dead body before.

Most everybody we've known
is dead or on their way.

Yeah of natural causes,
but not like this.

Well this was natural.

A bullet went in his chest
and he naturally died.

You act like I'm a killer.

You are a killer.

No, I am not Coralee.

Yes you are, we
gonna go to prison.

He shot himself.

Stop it.

Well I'm just saying.

To be honest Mimi, I am
nervous like a long tailed cat

in a room full of
rocking chairs.

I need a drink.

I think we all do come on.

Okay girls.

This ought to take the edge off.

Let's make a toast.

We've got a dead
body in the garage,

what's there to toast?

Oh don't be silly Virginia.

To us, to many more years
of life and laughter.

Amen to that.

To that dead son of a bitch.

I have a toast too.

Fill her up.

[Mimi] Okay, here it comes.

To Mimi.

May her daughter start
talking to her again.

Well, I'd like to
make a toast to Bobby.

For getting what she deserves

from that greedy,
slickering owl shit bastard

rotting in my garage.

Oh say that again.

Oh my.

My belly thinks
my throats been cut.

I'll fix us something
to eat okay, just relax.

Bobby.

Don't you feel bad about this.

He wouldn't be lying there dead

if he'd done the right
thing in the first place.

I know but he
was my son-in-law.

Ex.

Son-in-law.

Yeah, who was gonna throw
you out on the street.

Mimi!

Mimi, Mimi.

He's alive.

He's alive.

Oh, for crying out loud.

Mimi, he just.

You bitch.

You shot me.

No I didn't,
you shot yourself.

If I shot you, you'd be dead.

But it's never too
late to right a wrong.

(Jim groans)

(women scream)

That ought to do it.

Virginia why are you crying?

I don't know.

He meant nothing to me.

Wait a minute, have you
been chopping onions.

Yes.

Well you should've
used a different knife.

Oh Virginia, you want me
to run out and buy a knife

before I take care of business?

I wish you'd stop complaining.

You know, I've been thinking

and I don't think we
should dispose of his body.

What do you mean?

[Coralee] What the
hell are we gonna do?

We can't leave him here.

[Bobby] That would be crazy.

Listen to me.

What I think, we should do,

is chop up his body and
leave it in my deep freezer.

Why would you wanna
do something like that?

Because, if he isn't found

he's just a missing person.

But if we move him somewhere,

and his body is found then
there's a murder investigation.

But isn't chopping him
up gonna be be a bit messy?

Yes Virginia, that is true.

But you see, I've
been watching Dexter.

What's a dexter?

(people chatter)

[Lisa] Because you're
weekends and Wednesdays.

Oh I'm not always
weekends and Wednesdays.

This was your decision for me
not to pick him up last week,

so it's always
somebody else's fault.

- You know what...
- Hey, you keep it up

I'm gonna take
him away from you.

Six o'clock tonight
I want him here.

- You can't do that.
- [Rick] Six o'clock.

Thank you.

Oh Lisa, I didn't know
you were working here.

Hi mama.

What did Rick want?

What do you care?

And what do you need
so much wrap for?

Oh, it's not for me.

I'm helping out some friends.

That's good you can
help someone out mama.

Lisa, I know you
haven't forgiven me,

for not standing
up for you more,

when you were going through
your divorce with Rick,

but sweetheart, your
daddy had just died.

I could hardly
stand up for myself.

It's always someone
else's fault, ain't it.

Oh Lisa.

I don't wanna talk about it.

Could I just try to explain?

No.

Could you please just
go in another line.

Please.

I've got somebody to wait on.

Please mom.

Excuse me.

(♪ "Rundown Daddy
Blues" by Lucky Star)

♪ Well daddy says
he needs relaxing ♪

♪ Mama says she
needs more action ♪

♪ Mama's got the
rundown daddy blues ♪

♪ Can mama waltz
to turn the heat up ♪

♪ But daddy just wants
to put his feet up ♪

♪ Mama's got the
rundown daddy blues ♪

♪ You know that daddy
just wants to sit around ♪

♪ In his old rocking chair ♪

(drill whirs)

(women groan)

(chainsaw revs)

(women groan)

Well ladies, I think
we all deserve a drink.

Ooh yeah.

(women gasp)

Okay, now Bobby,

I didn't want to show
you this last night,

but is this the paper
that Jim showed you?

Yes.

Yes, yes.

Well hopefully this
is the only evidence.

So, I say we burn it

and then everything
remains in your name

and nobody will ever be
able to figure it out.

I get to keep my house.

Yes.

All right get ready girls.

[Bobby] Look at her.

[Coralee] She's gonna do
it, she's really gonna do it.

[Bobby] Is she gonna do it?

Come on baby light my fire.

Yep, yep, yep, yep.

The devil's in the kitchen.

[Coralee] Look at
the flame on that.

There we go.

(women clap and cheer)

(fire alarm beeps)

(women groan)

Oh, what are we gonna do?

Dammit, that thing
is always doing that.

Unbelievable.

We got worried detective.

Jim's car was in the
back parking lot,

right where he
left it yesterday.

His office door was left
open, which is unusual,

he always locks it
before he leaves.

The front door wasn't locked
and the alarm wasn't set.

We've called his
house several times.

It's been almost 24 hours,
so we thought we should call.

Darling, I'm glad you did.

May I take a look in his office?

Yes sir.

(upbeat mysterious music)

There's probably a
logical explanation.

Maybe he had a family emergen...

Well I'll be.

What is it detective?

Possibly blood.

I'll have forensics
take a looksie.

Don't you worry now ma'am,

we'll figure out
what happened to Jim.

Does he have any
relatives in town?

All his relatives
live out of state,

except for his ex-mother-in-law,

though I guess she's not
really a relative (laughs).

Well, we've gotta
start somewhere.

What's her name?

It's Bobby.

Well thank you kindly.

Thank you.

I appreciate it.

Now you be safe.

I will indeed.

You call me if you think
of anything else all right?

[Receptionist] I will.

[Randy] Goodbye sweetheart.

Hey there Bobby, this
years school picture?

Oh my, Ava he
is getting so big.

I know, I know.

[Bobby] Isn't he cute.

He's a great kid,

he's doing real
good in school too.

Well that's good to know,
what's his favorite subject?

- Bobby.
- He loves math.

Bobby, somebody's coming.

Hello ma'am.

I'm looking for a Bobby Mcluuu

[Bobby] McClouchesky.

That's me.

I'm detective Randy Mclemore,

may I ask you a few questions?

Sure detective,
you wanna come on in?

Not necessary ma'am.

Detective this is
my friend Virginia

and her daughter Ava.

Pleased to meet
all of you ladies.

Detective would you
like something to drink,

a cup of sweet tea?

No thank you ma'am.

It would appear your
ex-son-in-law is missing.

Jim's missing?

What do you mean?

He disappeared after work,
left his car, everything.

Hasn't returned.

Have you been in contact
with him recently?

Hmmm.

No.

According to his
cell phone records

he called you 11 days ago
and spoke for four minutes.

His office receptionist
said that you visited him

for about for 20 minutes.

Oh, yes actually
I remember now.

Getting old you
know, memory goes.

Jim said that he had some
photos with me and my daughter

and he thought that
I would want them.

May I see those photos?

I don't know where
they're at right now,

I'd have to go look for 'em.

Please.

Virginia, would
you come help me?

Sure.

Hello ma'am.

(upbeat country music)

Okay, okay, what are
we gonna do Virginia?

I don't know.

You told him you had pictures,
go get some pictures.

All the photos I
have are all framed

and they're in the house,
I can't show him those.

Is that your boy?

Yes.

[Randy] That's a
good looking kid.

He's a handful.

Oh I bet.

Especially for a single mom.

[Randy] Well
ain't that a shame.

Tell him you don't have them.

That's a good idea.

Okay but we have to act like
we're really out of breath,

because we've up and
down looking for 'em.

Do five jumping jacks.

I can't do jumping
jacks, I'll pant.

Okay well then
run, really fast.

Breathe hard.

I am.

Let's go come on.

See I reckon,

a woman like you would have
men lined up around the block.

You're too kind.

Thank you Virginia,
you are a gem.

Oh boy, that walk
was exhausting.

I'm sorry detective, I
can't find them right now.

Oh, okay.

Will you please call me if
you think of anything else...

[Bobby] I sure will.

I might need to know.

Yes, I will.

I sure will.

Bugs.

Have a good day ladies.

[Bobby] Well you
have a nice day too.

He sure is handsome.

Virginia, let's
go get a drink.

Oh yes.

[Mimi] I saw you shaking for
those young guys out there.

Everything was shaking.

And I have a lot to shake so...

[Mimi] Yeah you do Coralee.

Oh, I had some fun though.

[Mimi] It was fun, I
love that country band.

Yeah.

Bobby.

Bobby, come on it's your turn.

Come on girl, give me something.

Bobby, you keep making
the same mistakes.

Come on, I know
Mimi's gonna win.

[Virginia] Who cares.

Rummy.

[Coralee] Oh no, here we go.

Bobby, is something
bothering you?

What's wrong?

I got a visit from a police
detective looking for Jim.

Well, they're not gonna
find him at your house,

so don't you worry.

Mimi, what are you doing?

Oh, it's medical marijuana.

It's perfectly legal, the doctor
diagnosed me with anxiety.

Anxiety?

You're shitting me.

Did you roll that yourself?

No.

Kid down the street
did it for me.

First killing, now juvenile
delinquency and pot smoking,

girl you're turning
into a Ma Parker.

- Ma Parker.
- Ma Parker.

No I ain't Virginia.

I am just trying
to enjoy my life.

(women laugh)

Well I have got to be going.

Oh Bob, so soon?

Yeah, I got an early morning.

Preparing food for the
church chili cook off.

Oh I already did
my fried chicken.

I got my corn bread coming.

Gotta stop by the grocery
store on my way home.

Hey, don't forget

we got a beauty parlor
appointment tomorrow.

You bet.

Bye Mimi, I love you.

Bye.

Poor little thing.

(dramatic music)

Do you need help with that?

Go, go, go.

Come on let's go.

(Bobby screams)

(door knocks)

Hey Randy.

Hey Bill.

What's this?

I was digging
through a few old files

and came across that, guys
name was Harry Lovelace.

Been in and out of
prison a few times,

was a loan shark and
other petty things.

Turns out he now runs
an automotive body shop

right down there
off Main Street.

We thought it was a chop shop
but we couldn't prove it.

Isn't that your insurance
broker he's talking too?

Sure is.

Well, might be
worth a looksie.

You can say that.

Good job Bill.

So, you gonna go
question him or...

It's not the way I roll.

Gotta be more subtle than
storming in there as a cop.

[Bill] All right.

Didn't I teach you nothing.

Good catch.

[Bill] I'll keep that in mind.

Yeah you should.

(upbeat music)

You are a mean man.

I didn't get a wink
of sleep last night

sitting in God darn chair.

Where's Jim?

Your son-in-law.

He's my ex-son-in-law
I'll remind you,

and darling he's done dead.

What?

Dead?

How?

When?

Better start working that jaw
old lady, he owes me money.

He was gonna give me that
money selling your house.

I meant he's dead to
me, that's what I meant.

Selling my house?

Yeah.

Maybe the police would
like to know what you know.

Yeah, call the police
and while you're at it,

tell 'em you've got an old
lady that has a chili cook off

later this afternoon
tied up in your,

whatever the hell this place is.

(upbeat mysterious music)

(door knocking)

Hello.

Anyone home?

(Randy whistles)

(door knocking)

Hey Harry.

Hey, what do you always knock

if you're just gonna
walk in anyway?

We're not supposed to use
our real names, you dipshit.

Well you just confirmed
it was your real name.

All right.

And why aren't you
disguising your voice.

This is my real
voice, you dumbass.

Okay, what do you want?

Well, the cop
you've been following

just pulled up outside.

Oh.

Help!

Help me!

(Bobby moans)

Well come on.

(Bobby moans)

Shut up.

Can I help you sir?

Yeah, I got a car,
it's been a bad accident

and it needs some bodywork.

Well that ain't no
good, let's go see...

Oh it's,

it's not the car I'm driving.

Okay.

What can I do you for then?

Maybe you could
get me some prices?

Maybe you got a...

Prices.

You got a brochure?

Brochure.

Or something like
that you can give me.

A brochure, well sure.

Don't have much cause for one,

it's a neighborhood
business and everything,

but I know I got one somewhere.

I do appreciate that.

Yes sir.

Here you go, prices and
everything in there.

Why thank you,
thank you kindly.

I'll look this over
and might be back.

Well I hope to see you.

Howdy.

He's sniffing around.

He doesn't know I
know he's a cop.

(Stan laughs)

It's not funny.

Should be scared.

Coralee, get your
butt over here now.

I need your help.

Well, Bobby was supposed
to come over here

so we could go to the beauty
parlor, but she never showed.

Well that's not like her.

And she's not
answering her phone.

(upbeat country music)

[Coralee] Okay,
so we found her.

She's in the grocery store.

Seriously Coralee,

when did your brains
turn into some meatballs?

She said she was going
shopping last night.

Now if she did, why is her
car still in the parking lot?

Something's happened to her.

Mimi, how many
times have I told you,

don't speak to me in that
tone, I don't appreciate it.

I ain't your bitch.

I'm sorry Coralee.

It's just the anxiety, I just...

Mimi.

Stop it, stop it, stop it.

Put that down.

Oh fine.

Bossy pants.

Did you set the brake?

Yes, I set the brake.

You didn't the last time.

No wonder your
husband left you,

you are the biggest
nag I ever saw.

Well I'm trying to live.

Well, shut your mouth,
you'll live longer.

Oh look, look.

Coralee they got
cameras, come on.

Can't you walk any faster?

Yes.

Excuse me young man.

Yes ma'am.

Can you tell us where
the manager's office is?

Yes ma'am it's right around
the corner right there.

Oh, all right thank you.

Thank you, y'all
have a great day.

Yeah you too, thank you.

Wonder if it's this corner?

No I don't think so,
there's no sign on the door.

Let's keep walking.

No Coralee, we're not
looking at food now, come on.

Ah, here we go.

Can I help you ma'am?

Are you the manager?

Yes ma'am I am.

Well, our friend is missing

and her cars in
your parking lot.

And I have reason to believe

that there's been
some foul play,

and I noticed that you have
cameras outside your store

and inside and maybe I could
look at some of that video.

Look, if you truly think

something happened
to your friend,

then you need to
call the police,

or perhaps your friend is fine
and just visiting someone.

Are you talking
down to me young man?

I have lived a very long time,

I've probably forgotten more
than you will ever know.

Now I would like to
see some of that video.

No.

I don't have to
show you nothing.

Now you best be moving along,
before I call the police.

Ma'am.

Well that's not the very nice,

you big asshole.

Mimi, what we gonna do?

I don't know Coralee,
I just need to think.

I got an idea.

Wooh.

Help!

Oh help me.

Ow, ow, ow.

Help me.

(upbeat music)

I can't get up.

(Mimi moans distantly)

You back from the war Mary?

Kiss your mama, come on baby.

Where is that video tape?

Oh, it's probably new
fangled contraption.

Come on here, help her up.

Come back from the dead.

It's okay, I'm
here now, it's okay.

One, two, three.

Mom?

Yeah, I'm here baby.

Mom is that you?

Yeah it's okay,
it's all right,

she just forgot to
take her medicine.

Wait a minute, it's you again.

Yeah, well we're
going now bye, bye.

Mom.

Come on.

All right have a good day.

Okay girl, come along.

(door knocking)

Hi Mimi, you need
another joint rolled?

Get your butt in here.

What are you trying
to get me arrested?

Come over here.

Now, what is this?

A flash drive.

How does it work?

You record video on it.

Oh.

Oh, video.

Coralee we did it,
we got the pictures.

On here, we did it.

Well how does it work?

No, no, no don't start it yet.

Just tell me what to do.

Press this
button, right there.

All right, I got it.

You can skedaddle now.

I can take it from here.

Pick up your laptop tomorrow.

Wait a minute, I
wanna see what it is.

Um, no.

No, it's porn.

Oh I definitely
wanna see it then.

Well okay, but
it's elderly porn.

Made by the elderly,
for the elderly

with old, old elderly actors.

I'll be back tomorrow.

On your way back, will
you bring me a dime bag.

We can't wait all day
for Bobby to show up.

Well there's gotta be one
of those fast forward buttons

on this thing, try that one.

Okay, there she is.

Stop it, pause, stop.

Well, who is that slime bag
that took our friend Bobby.

[Bill] Still working?

A detective never sleeps.

Got a bunch of files from
the insurance brokers office,

trying to make heads
or tails of it.

Yeah.

It's like Mr insurance
man withdrew a lot of money

from the company bank
account about six months ago.

A couple of hundred
thousand dollars.

Anybody notice a paper trail.

Not everybody's
as smart as I am.

Okay, Starsky then why
didn't anybody catch it.

Because two days later,

he deposited an equal amount
of money right back in.

Gambling?

That's what I'm thinking.

Maybe the dimwit withdrew the
money, gambled it and won.

And replaced the
original amount.

Or,

he gambled it and lost

and had to get a quick
loan to replace it.

A loan from...

Harry Lovelace.

And maybe he couldn't pay it.

So Harry...

Yeah.

You know though, this
has got me thinking.

If Harry killed Jim, he'd
never get that money.

Duh.

Maybe he wrote it off as a
lost cause and exacted revenge.

Or maybe Harry had nothing
to do with Jim's disappearance

in the first place,
you ever think of that?

Maybe, really only
one way to find out.

Oh I'm glad you're here.

I ran a minute and
30 seconds to get here,

after I got your message.

You ran?

Why didn't you walk?

I mean come on, or even drive?

What's she doing?

Is she getting high again.

I think I found him.

[Coralee] That's him,
that's that slimeball.

[Virginia] Let me see.

[Mimi] Harry Lovelace.

Why would he keep Bobby?

I mean how would
he even know her?

I think it has to do with Jim.

That's slickering owl shit
was up to his neck in no good.

That damn criminal.

What are we gonna do?

(Bobby snores)

(country music)

We're getting nowhere fast.

Let me think will ya.

If we kill her, we don't have
any way of getting the money.

(phone rings)

It's Jim.

Maybe he's not dead after all.

Hey Jimmy boy, where
the hell have you been?

Um, this isn't Jim.

Mr. Harry Lovelace.

Well who is it?

Well it doesn't
matter who I am,

you pig slime sack of shit.

What's important is that
you're holding my friend

and I want her back.

Well, I don't what
you're talking about.

Oh well, I have a video
from a grocery store

that says different.

Now, you do as I say and we
can both get what we want.

All right.

How do you know what I want?

I'm not playing 20 questions.

You tell me.

Fair enough.

I want her house or $200,000,
makes no difference to me.

Well, you bring Bobby back
and you can have the house.

How do you know I haven't
already killed the old bitch?

Hey, you watch
your potty mouth.

Well, if you have then
we have no fish to fry

and I have a video to
deliver right to the police.

All right, all right.

Look don't do anything hasty.

Your friend is still alive.

Let me talk to her.

[Harry] She's sleeping?

[Mimi] Is she snoring?

[Harry] Yeah.

Let me hear.

(Bobby snores)

Yeah that's Bobby all right.

Okay, you bring her to my house

and I got Jim's paperwork here

and I'm sure she'll
sign it over to you.

Okey dokey.

Okay, here's my address.

All right.

Go to this address,
kill everyone there.

Get all the paperwork they
have and bring it back here.

I'm gonna get us
some sandwiches.

What about this grandma?

She'll be fine.

I'll be back in a jiff.

And when you get back here,

get her to sign the papers and
then dump her in the river.

(laughs) oh yeah.

You're gonna have a good
time tonight, ain't ya.

("Georgia Crawl" by
Jake Leg Stompers)

Why did you tell him, you're
gonna give him the paperwork?

You done burn that paperwork up.

Well I had to
tell him something.

Shh, be quiet Coralee.

Just let me think.

Let me think.

[Bill] You sure
this is a good idea?

Hell no, it's a great idea.

Show time.

Randy I don't
like this one bit.

We're law men.

That we are.

But I believe in
justice more than law.

Besides we're just gonna
take a little looksie.

No harm, no foul.

Stand look out, I
won't be a minute.

I'm nervous as hell Randy.

Why?

You got a gun and a badge, you
could legally shoot anyone.

Where you been?

(upbeat mysterious music)

(door knocking)

[Mimi] You Harry?

Does a fish swim?

(upbeat mysterious music)

(phone vibrates)

So did you find anything out?

Oh yeah, let's
scooter out of here.

You don't sound like Harry.

I sure am.

Show me your ID.

I ain't showing nothing.

Where's the paperwork?

Well where's my friend.

In the car.

We wanna see her.

Okay, but I wanna see
the paperwork first.

Well.

(Mimi groans)

Virginia.

(women scream)

Paperwork!

Hey.

Give it to me.

What?

The paperwork.

(phone rings)

(Mimi gasps)

Yeah, I'm getting it
right now and everything.

All right.

(pan thwacks)

(Mimi groans)

Oh my God.

Oh Coralee, you did it.

You did it.

The only good
man, is a dead man.

(Stan groans)

Well he ain't dead.

You gonna stay dead.

(pan thwacks)

(cheerful music)

(Coralee groans)

(Coralee sighs)

Oh my God, y'all gonna
have to help me up.

Come on Coralee.

Good job.

Wooh.

Come on let's go get Bobby.

Nope, first things first.

We've got to put Harry
here in the freezer.

Is that chainsaw still here?

I'm just gonna
check something here?

Aha.

Ah, I knew it.

He's not Harry,
his name is Stan.

Oh shame on you, you
liar, shame on you.

Come on girls, let's
take him to the garage.

I'm just gonna.

Can you push a little harder.

(upbeat music)

Evening.

You hungry?

Want a sandwich?

Not if it's fast food.

That stuff will kill ya.

Besides I got diverticulitis.

Diver's what?

Never mind.

Why are you being nice to me?

Well, you could think
of that as your last meal.

What are you talking about?

My boy Stan went over
to your friends house,

to kill that old woman and
bring Jim's paperwork back.

You're gonna sign it, if
you wanna keep on breathing.

I don't believe you.

I think you're gonna kill me.

I don't care (mumbles).

What?

I don't car what you believe.

(phone rings)

Well, well, well.

There is he now.

I'm gonna put this
on speakerphone

so you can here the details
of your friends demise

in all it's glory.

Talk to me Stan.

Your asshole friend is dead.

Hi Mimi.

Get me away from this jerk,

he's feeding me fast
food sandwiches.

(chainsaw revs)

Will you shut that
damn thing off Coralee,

I'm trying to have
a conversation here.

Mimi.

I'm trying to chop this guy up.

Them's my friends.

What'd you do?

The same thing he
was gonna do to us.

[Harry] Listen lady.

No, you listen to me mister.

We want our friend back,

and if you harm one little
hair on her pretty head,

I'm going straight to the
police with that video.

Fine.

You wanna play
hardball, let's play.

Forget the house.

You give me 200 grand and
you get your friend back,

or she sleeps with the cronads.

You got two days.

Are we gonna get Bobby back?

How'd it go?

It didn't go so well girls.

He wants $200,000 in two days

or Bobby's gonna
go to see Jesus.

How we gonna get
that much money Mimi?

What kind of mess have
you gotten us into.

Body shops just a cover.

Harry's definitely back in
the loan shark business.

I saw the file of all the
people who owe him money.

Jim's names in the list.

Well how much do you think
Jim is into him for then?

$200,000.

I think Harry got
tired of waiting,

killed Jim and
disposed of the body.

How in the hell are
you gonna prove that?

Well for starters,

I'm gonna pay Jim's ex-mother-in-law
a visit in the morning

and find out what she knows
about this Harry Lovelace.

All right.

Well that sounds like
a pretty good plan.

I'd say.

Give me the keys.

In the car.

You got ice cream
on your pants.

I better get you napkins huh.

Sloppy.

All right.

Sloppy boy.

(upbeat mysterious music)

(doorbell rings)

(door knocking)

Hey there.

Looking for Bobby?

Yes sir.

You won't by any chance

happen to know where
she might be, would you?

Who's asking?

It's official business.

I wanna ask you a few questions.

Have you seen her?

No, not for a
couple of days now.

Have you tried her friend?

Who's that?

Her name is Mimi, they
get together every weekend,

her and a couple of others.

I'm thinking Mimi will probably
know right where she's at.

Thanks.

You have her address.

I do.

I think I got something
in my kitchen over there.

I got a pot of coffee on
too son, come on around.

All right.

Oh Ava, it's so nice of
you to help out around here.

Oh no problem at all Mimi.

I like helping.

Well, I'm gonna give
you a few bucks you know.

You just find me
a nice cowboy Mimi.

I ain't got no use
for your money.

I'll keep my eyes open for ya.

(vacuum whirs)

Oh dammit that always happens.

This old house just can't
seem to handle the power.

Wait, I got it.

Where's the circuit breaker?

In the garage.

She can't find her
ass with two hands.

Mimi, she's my daughter.

Well.

(vacuum whirs)

Freezer.

(door knocking)

Harry.

I wouldn't put it past him,

after he sent that other
man to try to kill us.

It's okay Ava, I'll get it.

Sit down.

Can I help you?

Well howdy ma'am,
I hope you can.

(gun clicks)

Did you hear something?

No.

Oh.

Well I'm detective
Randall Mclemore,

but you can call me Randy.

I've got some questions for
you if you have a minute?

Oh, sure detective, come in.

Well, what did you wanna
ask me concerning Bobby?

I wanted to talk
to Bobby further

about her ex-son-in-law Jim,
but can't seem to find her.

Would you know her whereabouts?

No, I have no
idea where she's at.

Me and my friends, we spend
every weekend together,

but Bobby's missed
the last few weekends.

Virginia, how many
weekends has Bobby missed?

Huh?

Oh, two, I think.

Yes.

Two.

So she's missing?

Oh no, I wouldn't
say that, no.

Did you know that
Jim was missing too?

No.

Oh Bobby never said
anything to us about that.

Well mama you knew,

you were at Bobby's when
the detective here came by.

Oh yeah.

I remember now.

Jim is missing, yeah.

That pie sure is yummy.

Do either of you
ladies know this man?

No, no, I really,
I can't place him.

What about you ma'am?

Nope.

Nope, nope.

No.

Does anyone else smell
something foul in here?

Oh no!

I unplugged the freezer when
I was vacuuming last night.

Ava, don't open it.

If there's rotten meat in there,

it's just gonna stink
up the whole house.

Well, is there anything else
I can help you with detective?

No, no, no thank you.

That's all for now.

Pie sure was to die for.

If your friend calls,
will you please,

if you find her.

Yes, if I hear anything
from Bobby, yes sir,

I'll sure be happy
too let you know.

If we hear anything
about Bobby, goodbye.

Goodbye.

Mimi.

[Randy] Bill are you there.

[Bill] I'm right here.

There's something bass
ackwards going on in that house.

My spidey senses are
going through the roof.

I'm smelling some rotten fish

and I'm starting to think
that those old ladies

are in cahoots
with Harry Lovelace

and killed both Jim and Bobby.

(upbeat country music)

Oh you plugged it in.

I'm so sorry.

I'll help you get rid
of the rotten meat.

No, no that's okay.

We can take care of it.

What is wrong with
you two, come on.

- Ava.
- Don't open it Ava.

Why?

Because we...

We killed a deer in my car.

And it's against the law.

No it's not, it's an accident.

Not if it's out of season.

We were planning on eating it,

but it's obviously gone bad.

It's disgusting.

We'll take care of it.

Honey you should go on
home, your son needs you.

Mama, you're my ride

and the sitters gonna be
there for another hour.

Look I told Mimi that I'd help
her take care of the trash,

so I'll just go do that.

You two are acting goofy.

Virginia we gotta get
rid of these guys soon.

The clock is ticking
on Bobby's life

and that detective is
getting real suspicious.

You think so.

Have your brains
gone chopping Virginia?

For God's sake.

We couldn't have done any worse

on that question
and answer session

than if we'd actually
committed a murder.

We did actually
commit a murder.

Well you did.

Well, technically speaking.

But, well one was
in self defense.

[Virginia] Okay,
if you say so.

(upbeat mysterious music)
(women argue distantly)

[Mimi] I gotta
go light a joint.

Is that blood?

Back so soon stranger.

Oh hi, Ava.

What are you doing out here?

Taking out the trash.

I should be asking you
that question though.

Well, that smell
was so pungent

that I was concerned
for you and the others.

Ain't you sweet detective.

No need to worry though, they
told me what the smell was.

Well?

Don't leave me in suspense.

They killed a...

Deer.

They said it was
illegal, is that true?

This time of year, yeah.

You gonna arrest them?

No, I like deer meat, it's...

juicy.

Tasty.

Can be eaten in many forms.

I prefer the sausage.

(laughs) well, looks like
everything seems fine out here.

I think I could um,
I should be going.

Yeah.

Well have a good night.

Always a pleasure detective.

Where the hell
did I put my car.

Sit down and have
some more tequila,

it will take the
edge off of you.

Okay, let's finish
the card game.

Well what got into you girl?

Did you get into Mimi's pot?

No.

That wonderful detective,
he's a real cowboy.

He was so worried about us,
about that smell you know,

that he was outside looking
in the garage window.

Ain't he something.

I didn't see no
ring on him either.

Well, was he snooping around?

He can come snooping
around me anytime he wants.

We gotta get rid of 'em soon.

I know.

But we got a much bigger
problem than that.

We need to raise 200
grand to save Bobby.

How are we gonna do that?

I don't Virginia,
let me think.

Oh I need to smoke.

Oh no, I'm all out.

I gotta call the kid.

I have run out of options.

Randy that detective is
about to break the case

and well Bobby's gonna die.

Mimi.

Oh, he knows I'm
writing a novel.

We're just working out some
of the plotting issues.

Yeah, I think it's cool.

Now roll some more.

Uh, can I have a hit.

No.

I'm not gonna contribute
to no juvenile delinquency.

Mimi, I think you've already
crossed that line already.

Good point.

Yeah.

So, what about my story idea?

You said, your main characters

are a group of old ladies right?

Old ladies?

They say, write
what you know, so yes.

Why can't they just
kill the detective?

Believe me, it's
cross my mind.

No, they can't do that because

one of the old ladies
daughters loves that detective.

Besides that, the freezers full.

Now here's an idea.

Choose a hand.

Now all they need to do,

is misdirect the detective.

Oh.

Mimi, can I try that thing?

What?

That joint thing?

Coralee, listen.

I don't do this for pleasure.

I do it for my...

My anxiety.

And my stress (laughs).

I feel stressed.

And I got anxiety, you
give me anxiety everyday.

So let me, let me
try that thing.

All right Coralee.

Lord have mercy on us all.

("Me, I Get High On Reefer"
by The Two Gentleman Band)

♪ Some people get
high on music ♪

♪ Some folks get high on life ♪

♪ Some girls get high
about getting husbands ♪

♪ Some husbands get high
when their wife's not looking ♪

♪ Some folks get high
about being downhearted ♪

♪ They love to moan and weep ♪

♪ Me, I get high on reefer ♪

♪ Reefer ♪

♪ Then I fall asleep ♪

♪ And I dream about an
island in the Caribbean ♪

You are great, for being
ancient old ladies and all.

What you talking
about ancient?

That was rude.

You better learn some
manners you young 'un.

Listen, we need to focus.

What are we gonna
do about my story?

About the detective?

Forget the detective,

what are they gonna do about
their kidnapped friend?

They need 200 grand right?

Yeah and where
they gonna get that?

Just do what they
do in the movies?

Which is?

Oh come on.

Just get a briefcase.

♪ When you put that
reefer in your mouth ♪

♪ In my dream,
you dream, dream ♪

♪ And I wonder who
do you dream about ♪

♪ When you put that
reefer in your mouth. ♪

♪ In my dream, you
dream, dream of ♪

Well girls,
let's get her done.

(phone rings)

You have my money?

Well that's a
fine how do you do.

Do you?

Yes.

We have your money.

How's Bobby?

Old, wrinkled and
not long to this Earth.

You stop that bullshit.

Let me hear her.

She wants to talk to you.

Ouch.

Mimi, I've been in the
same position for days.

My arthritis is acting up,
you gotta get me out of here.

Oh don't you worry
hun, we're on our way.

You hear that,
she's in bad shape.

You better hurry.

Okay, come on girls.

(Virginia gasps)

Oh that's insurance.

(upbeat country music)

Well hey Mimi.

I'm here with His Majesty.

Oh.

Don't you remember,

I said I'd come by and make
a fish fry for all of you.

Of course we remember.

We were just going to the
Southern Bell Pie Shop

to get dessert for after dinner.

But you can come
on in and wait.

Oh look at Travis.

Cute as ever.

(women talk over each other)

What's in the bag?

Oh it's full of money, honey.

[Coralee] She's just
kidding, she's just kidding.

Something fishy
going on in there.

Can I help you with those?

Oh, hi detective.

Sure.

What brings you by?

Just wanted to
check in on you,

make sure you're all right

I'm fine.

You got a little something.

Come on in.

Thank you.

Can I use the
little boys room?

Oh yeah, it's
right over there.

I'll be right here.

Well that ain't
the little boys room.

Down the hall.

Okay girls, now here's
what we're gonna do.

We're gonna give Harry the money

and then we're gonna
get Bobby back.

What if that doesn't work?

Well, we'll just kill him.

Just like we did that guy in
the house, what was his name?

Oh, Stan.

I hit him in the head with
the skillet and killed him.

I killed him, so stop
taking all the credit.

Oh Coralee, you
wanna keep score.

Yeah, I'm a good killer.

Now listen,

Harry's never seen me, so he
has no idea what I look like.

So we're gonna use misdirection.

You got it Mimi.

What's misdirection?

Well don't just stand there
silly, make yourself useful.

Pleased to help.

You know, we're like
a little family here.

Your ma spends a lot of
time here with Mimi, huh?

Well, Mimi's kind
of lonely these days.

She a widow?

No kids?

Yeah, you know I really
shouldn't be talking about them.

Her daughter Lisa, got
pregnant by that no good Rick,

and Mimi kind of talked
her into marrying him.

Well that didn't go so well,

Mimi's husband was kinda
able to keep him in check,

when he became
drunk and abusive,

but after he passed away,

Mimi just got scared
and backed down.

Sounds like a real asshole.

Yeah.

Pardon my french.

That's all right.

He was and he still is.

Lisa finally got up the
nerve to divorce him,

but she just blames Mimi.

It's sad.

Yeah it sure is.

Let me help you bread
some of your fish.

All right.

My hands are clean.

Good.

(upbeat country music)

Your friends better
get here quick,

I'm getting tired of waiting.

What?

You know, I've seen
a lot of you lately,

and I've been thinking.

Why would you
wanna do that for?

You could really
use a makeover.

New hairstyle, new
wardrobe, the whole bit.

Well I look just fine.

When was the last time
you been with a woman?

When was the last time
you were with a man?

I'm old, wrinkled and
not long for this Earth,

my men were during the
Carter administration,

back when your
clothes were in style.

Enough of you.

You know, when Jim ran
over your daughter,

he should have waited
'til you were with her,

to kill two bitches's
with one stone.

Ava, I saw Mimi and her
friends leave,

as I was arriving.

Where were they going?

Oh, to the pie shop to
bring back some dessert.

Pie shop.

Oh I saw Mimi, toting
a bowling ball bag,

she in some kind of league?

You know I asked
about that bag too

and they dodged the question.

Mama said it was full of money.

Was she just joking?

Sure, they ain't got
no money like that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Ava dear, I gotta get going.

What about the fish fry?

Oh, I gotta take
care of business.

I'll be back real soon
for that fish fry.

Darn it.

What did I do?

(building mysterious music)

You girls, you know
what you're gonna do.

Yes.

Okay, let's do it.

Let's go bowling.

We have the money,
show us Bobby.

Toss me the bag.

Come on.

(women scream)
I know what you're thinking,

but y'all ain't fast enough

to hobble away
before I shoot you.

Really?

Really?

They only do this in the movies.

Well I guess this is it.

'Cause I don't get the money
and y'all don't get to live.

I guess we all lose.

(gun fires)

(upbeat country music)

(guns fire)

(Radio controller chatters)

Wait, wait I didn't
hear that, repeat that.

Old ladies with guns?

[Controller] Yes,
they're shooting 'em too.

I'm on my way,
get me some back up.

What in the hell is going on?

(gun fires)

Hurry up gals, you
ain't got all day.

(guns fire)

(police siren wails)

What the hells going on?

Oh, our friend Bobby
she's been kidnapped

and Mimi's in a
shootout with this guy.

Mimi, drop the gun.

Oh praise Jesus,
thank God you're here.

Drop the gun.

Okay.

Good girl.

Police.

Drop the gun.

Well, well, well.

If it isn't Harry Lovelace.

That was a stupid
stunt ladies,

you could've gotten
yourselves killed.

Next time, just call the police.

Detective.

I had nothing to do with
Jim's disappearance.

They killed him.

Who said anything about
Jim's disappearance?

Open the trunk.

Why detective?

I said, open it.

Do you have a warrant?

I'll impound the
car and get one.

Come on, let's open it.

Coralee, grab that
handle in there, come on.

If he has to see it,
he has to see it.

[Coralee] All right,
he's gonna see it.

[Mimi] There it is
detective, clean as a whistle.

(Randy whistles)

[Officer] Detective,

you're gonna want to
come and see this.

It's pretty gruesome.

There's at least two
chopped up bodies in here.

It's gonna be like putting
together a jigsaw puzzle.

Chopping up more than car
parts these days, huh Harry.

No.

You bitches, you set me up!

No!

You think you can drag me to
the eighth circle of Hell?

I'll be back, I'll be
back, I'll get y'all.

Somehow, something
smells fishy.

Is there something
you're not telling me?

Oh detective, we're just a
group of little old ladies.

We're completely harmless.

Right.

I can't wait to get home

and have a nice home
cooked meal again.

That bastards been force
feeding sandwiches for days.

Bobby, it's all right now.

Ava's fixing us a
real nice fish fry.

Oh and detective, we'd
just love to have you come.

Thank you kindly Mimi,
but some other time.

Police work calls.

You take care now.

Bye.

Okay girls, get in.

I'll drop you off at my house,

and then I have to go and do
something really important.

[Lisa] Thank you
for coming in, bye.

Lisa.

Can I talk to you for a minute?

I don't have time right now.

Oh just for a minute.

Well, well, well.

Look who we have here.

The ex-bitch and her mom.

Leave me alone Rick.

Yeah, leave her alone.

Oh yeah.

Well, I'm gonna do and
say whatever I want.

Oh no you're not.

You beer guzzling bastard.

You touch my daughter and you're
gonna have to deal with me,

and I'm not the same
person you dealt with.

You cheap sack of shit.

Now take your beer
and get out of here.

I said get you son of a bitch.

Sorry kid.

Thank you mama.

Can I see my grandson now?

Of course.

(people chatter)

(upbeat country music)

(doorbell rings)

Someone's at the door.

I'll be right back.

(women chatter)

Hello detective.

Well, well, well, what
brings you here, detective?

Well, I don't want
you to be alarmed,

but I have some troubling news.

Harry Lovelace escaped
the county jail

where he was awaiting trial.

And considering the
threat he made to you

when he was arrested, I
thought I should warn you.

Oh, that's so sweet
of you detective,

but you don't need
to worry about us.

Us girls can take
of ourselves, right.

[Coralee] We sure can.

Detective why don't you
come and stay for a while?

[Coralee] Yeah, sit down
and have some tea and pie

and play a couple
of round of rummy.

Well I guess I
got a few minutes.

Coralee, why don't you
go and get them ice cream

from the freezer, go ahead.

Good idea, good idea.

(♪ "Times Ain't Like They
Used To Was" by Al Duvall)

♪ The game has
always been the same ♪

♪ They never learn the rules ♪

♪ The groove is worn,
the record's thin ♪

♪ But still it has to
play again ♪

♪ My lonesome
journey makes me cry ♪

♪ So stake my heart
and hope to die ♪

♪ I can't go on because ♪

♪ Times ain't like
they used to was ♪

♪ Oh times ain't
like they used to was ♪

("Little Black Train" by
The Corn Potato String Band)

Subtitles by explosiveskull

♪ There's a little
black train a comin' ♪

♪ Get all your business right ♪

♪ Better set your
house in order ♪

♪ For the train may
come tonight ♪

♪ There's a little black
train and an engine ♪

♪ And a little baggage car ♪

♪ With your idle
thoughts and wicked deeds ♪

♪ Head to the Judgment bar ♪

♪ There's a little
black train a comin' ♪

♪ Go tell that bar room lady ♪

♪ All dressed in
her worldly pride ♪

♪ That this black
train is comin' ♪

♪ Prepare to take a ride ♪

♪ That boy or man in darkness ♪

♪ Cares not for the
gospel light ♪

♪ 'Til he hears
that whistle blowin' ♪

♪ And the little
black train's in sight ♪

♪ There's a little
black train a comin' ♪

♪ A rich old man in
the storeroom said ♪

♪ I have no future fear ♪

♪ My plans are overgrowing ♪

♪ I'll live for many a year ♪

♪ But while he
stood their planning ♪

♪ The good old up
there in might ♪

♪ Said rich old fool
when the train gets here ♪

♪ Yours soul's
required tonight ♪

♪ There's a little
black a comin' ♪

♪ Get all your business right ♪

♪ Better set your
house in order ♪

♪ For the train may
come tonight ♪

♪ There's a little black
train and an engine ♪

♪ And a little baggage car ♪

♪ With your idle thoughts
and your wicked deeds ♪

♪ Heading right for
the judgement bar ♪

♪ There's a little
black train a comin' ♪

♪ Get all your business right ♪

♪ Better set your
house in order ♪

♪ For the train may
come tonight ♪

♪ There's a little
black train a comin' ♪