Original subtitles

Previously, on The West Wing... PRESIDENT: Zoey is here.

She's starting Georgetown in the spring.

( cheering )

I was wondering how you would feel

about my going out on a date with Zoey.

I'm sorry?

Stop pursuing me.

Respectfully... no.

She likes having her picture taken.

She doesn't like having her picture taken.

She doesn't mind having it taken with me.

He may be good-looking and rich

and well schooled and French royalty,

you know, and live basically in a castle, but...

Oh, God.

C.J.: At the exact moment of the equinox.

At the exact moment of the equinox.

Doesn't work. It does work.

It has to be the exact moment of the equinox.

Doesn't work. I've seen it.

I tried it. And?

Doesn't work. I don't think you did it at the exact moment.

I did.

When? Last September.

That was the Autumnal Equinox.

It only works for the Vernal Equinox?

Yeah. You know what's more likely?

That it doesn't work at all?

That's right. It does-- I've seen it.

We've got pastrami from Krupin's.

It's tissue paper thin.

Roast beef, corned beef, turkey, Russian dressing,

coleslaw and seedless rye,

and winning the hard-earned money of your coworkers.

This is what I call a night off.

Squeeze this piece of rye bread.

Now what do I do?

Excuse me, Leo?

Yeah?

JOSH: Something's that true at the Vernal Equinox

would have to also be true at the Autumnal Equinox. Why?

"Equinox" means "equal night."

Night and day are both 12 hours long.

What does that have to do with it?

It doesn't work-- I tried it.

TOBY: Listen, there's... Hang on.

C.J. believes that at the exact moment of the Vernal Equinox...

And only at that moment. You can stand an egg vertically.

Huh? At the equinox,

you can stand an egg on its end.

TOBY: Yeah, that doesn't work. You tried it?

I don't have to try it; you can't stand an egg

on its end-- the elements involved

with creating an equinox have...

have no connection to the center of gravity of an egg.

I've seen it.

I've seen guys make the ace of spades

jump out of their shoes.

I don't think it was the equinox.

Josh? Yeah?

Counsel's office wants to know if you can meet with a candidate

for the associate's position tonight.

Tonight? I explained it was your night off,

but they said he's in town just the one night, and...

Yeah.

So can I take your seat when you're not playing?

I miss Ainsley.

That's who the Counsel's office should get

to fill that position-- another Ainsley.

A sexy conservative with first-rate law credentials

and a strange name.

So can I take your seat?

Who else is playing in this game?

Anyone with currency.

Let me in the game, sir, I beg of you.

Why are you so eager to get in this game?

I enjoy poker, Mr. President,

and your card skills are well known around the building,

and... frankly, I wanted to learn.

Seriously.

I enjoy poker.

This is a cash game, Debbie.

These are hardworking people blowing off some steam

and taking each other off their coin.

We don't play for matchsticks, and we don't play...

Okay, can I ask you something?

I forgot to have Charlie draw cash for me.

Could you float me...

( knocking on door ) I can play?

Sir. Leo, C.J. swears

that on the equinox, which is today,

you can stand an egg on end.

Debbie?

Thank you, Mr. President.

Yeah, you can play.

Thank you, sir.

( door closes )

We just lost an unmanned spy plane.

Where? It was a Predator B-UAV

12 miles off Kaliningrad.

It's controlled by satellite,

which can't always adjust to sudden weather changes,

and this one veered off course and crashed inland.

Well, that's why these are unmanned, right?

All we lost was money?

Aren't they saying detonate the plane?

The plane was taking pictures

of illegal nuclear transfers in the region,

call Chigorin and ask if we can go in

and get our spy plane back?

Yes, sir. Except you can't say spy plane.

Wait, you're serious. They want me to call Chigorin?

Yes. And ask him for the plane back

without telling him we were spying?

State and the Pentagon have some ideas on how you might try that.

Do they?

In the meantime, sir,

do you want to play some cards?

Hang on.

Yeah, this isn't going to work.

Three.

I'm fine.

You're fine?

I am.

Check. Check.

Check. Check.

Check.

Fifty dollars.

PRESIDENT: Fold. Fold.

I'm out. Out.

Take it.

Nothing like the mounting tension

of a well-contested hand.

You were full of crap.

You had jack-high or something?

I'll tell you, but it's going to cost you 50 bucks.

WILL: Hi.

Good evening, Mr. President.

Did you get the eggs?

Yeah.

Hang on.

Will, why are you dressed

like an officer in the Air Force?

I'm an officer in the Air Force.

You're a reservist? Yes, sir.

I didn't know that. Did you know that?

He's First Lieutenant Will.

I had no idea. What do you do?

I work with the JAG Corps.

And this is your weekend up?

Yes, sir. Well, good for you.

Where are you stationed? Since I moved here,

I'm stationed at the Air Force

Legal Services Agency at Bolling Air Force Base,

but tonight I'm going to Cheyenne. Mr. President?

They ready? No, sir.

Leo wanted you a moment.

Play my seat.

Are we getting somewhere?

Oh, yeah.

You know, there was a thought that since Kaliningrad's

the only noncontiguous Russian state,

you could make like you were just informing Chigorin

of a rescue mission that barely concerned him.

And what do I do when Chigorin tells me

that Hawaii's not really a part of America,

and he wants to change the alphabet to Cyrillic?

Seymour! What does he do?

What the hell.

Would you, please?

I'm not going to have you tell Chigorin

that Kaliningrad's not part of Russia.

What area are we trolling in?

What area? Yes.

We weren't spying on Russia.

We were spying for Russia.

We were spying for him? Yes, sir.

Okay. This phone call that you're going to set up with Chigorin--

it's, like, for a White House bloopers reel or something?

Just give us a couple of minutes.

All right.

Two things I want to put on your radar. Yeah.

There was a bombing at a nightclub in Kuala Lumpur,

and they've got a suspect in Berlin

who was trying to explode a device at the Brandenburg gate.

Are the two related?

I don't know, but there were two,

so I wanted to tell you about it.

All right.

Check. Check. Check.

Fifty dollars.

I fold.

Out. Fold. I'm out.

Make her prove it, Toby.

Show her there are no free lunches in a Friday night game.

Call.

Straight to the king.

( others chuckling )

All right, sorry about that.

I'll get her for you.

Here's an extra card.

That's the joker.

ALL: Oh! Oh, my God, did you see that?

Did you guys see that?

OTHERS: Oh!

We're not going to need that three of clubs?

Standing at the podium in the press room,

I could hit a seat in the fifth row.

No, I don't believe that's true.

Really? I believe it's a myth.

Well, there are 52 cards in this deck...

51. The three of clubs...

Dollar a card? Yes.

Sit down and play poker. I'm dealing.

DONNA: Excuse me, Josh?

Yeah. The guy's in the Roosevelt Room.

Which guy is this?

For the Associate Counsel job.

( sighs )

Deal me out for three hands.

Can I say something? Yeah.

This guy... Yeah?

There are some who'd consider him handsome.

I don't personally, 'cause you're the only one

I think is handsome. Uh-huh.

But for the sake of appearances,

here around the office

so that people wouldn't suspect,

I'd pretend I thought this guy was handsome if you hired him.

Of course, all along, it'd be a lie

'cause of how handsome you are... and powerful.

Your sense of humor is a bit of a high-wire act, isn't it?

You're really trying to thread the needle.

And half of it, you don't even get.

Give me that.

Hector?

Excuse me?

Are you Hector?

No, I'm Joe Quincy.

Hang on.

( quietly ): Sorry.

Can I just ask? Yeah.

Are you saying it's Hector who's good-looking or...?

This guy, this guy. Okay.

But not really, 'cause it's only you that I... Yeah, yeah.

Excuse me. Joseph.

Yes. Joseph Quincy. Josh Lyman.

Joe? Yes.

No, I was asking, do you like to be called Joe?

Yes.

Were you saying yes to that the first time?

Yes, Joe is fine. It's what people call me.

It's funny, it's what I was just saying-- the person who created

the job opening, her name was Ainsley Hayes, and she was,

uh, she was a very attractive woman

and I was saying that

we needed to find another attractive woman

with an unusual name, and here you're a man,

and your name is Joe.

Got to be asking yourself why I told you that story.

Uh, you have a joint JD-MBA?

Yeah. What does a staff attorney do

at the New York City Department of Transportation?

Defend the City against people with civil claims.

Slipping in the subway? Slipping in the subway.

Banging your head on a turnstile. Yes.

After a JD-MBA from Cal?

I wanted to get trial experience right away, so...

Then Associate Counsel at Treasury,

then the Solicitor General's Office.

Why did you leave the Solicitor General's Office?

You appointed a new Solicitor General.

You weren't a political appointee?

No. I just answered a call from a headhunter.

I'm surprised we haven't met.

( knock at door )

Excuse me.

I'll be back in a second.

You forgot to sign the bottom of the questionnaire, the SF-86.

You got to sign your name.

If the President says yes,

we're going to set up the call in about ten minutes.

PRESIDENT: What do we have?

LEO: All right, best-case scenario is that

he lets our guys go in

and get it untouched by Russian hands.

But President Bartlet,

we have a terrific search-and-recovery team.

We'll just go get that plane for you.

and only our folks know how to make it de-operational.

"Our folks"? You really think

I'd use those words with the Russian President?

You say, "Sir, this UAV has proprietary American technology

"on it made by one of our leading aerospace companies,

and we have to protect that."

Much as I have to protect Kaliningrad, sir,

which brings us to the question

of what the hell were you doing flying over it?!

It had a multiple mission. Did it?

Exactly for this purpose.

What was the other mission?

Taking satellite pictures

of coastal erosion in the Baltic Sea.

I tell him it was an environmental mission.

It was an environmental mission.

Okay, and he's not going to want to take pictures

of coastal erosion at Coney Island?

No. The Baltic Sea's shared by Sweden, Finland and Germany.

We were on an environmental mission for Finland.

Yes, sir.

And that's what we've come up with?

It's what we're starting with.

We'll see how it goes.

Set up the call.

( door opens )

Sorry about that.

That's Teddy Roosevelt's Nobel Prize.

Yeah.

Don't forget to sign this thing.

Th-They just had a whole...

Yeah.

I'm sorry, tell me again why you left the Solicitor's Office.

Lawrence Harmon brought in...

He brought in new staff.

Um, you've already talked with Judy Wells? Yes.

And Oliver Babish?

We met for a few hours the day before yesterday

and again for 45 minutes this morning.

They made you fill out the psychological part of the questionnaire.

Yes.

Question 1: A) I do not feel sad,

B) I feel sad,

C) I am sad all the time, and I can't snap out of it,

D) I am so sad or unhappy that I want to kill myself.

You chose A) I do not feel sad.

Yes. Good.

Ever?

No.

No, you don't ever feel sad or no...?

No, there are times when I feel sad.

Yet you checked the first box. Why's that?

It said "I do not feel sad,"

and I didn't at the time I checked it.

Okay.

This'll just take another minute or so.

WILL: Dollar for every card that hits the fifth row?

C.J.: I'm locking the door. there's still some press around.

Five dollars if you hit the sixth.

There's a spot on the Earth where the temperature

is exactly the same as it would be

if you drilled through the Earth

to the other side. No, there isn't.

How about six dollars if you do it with a face card?

Yes, there is, and it's called the antipode.

And if that's true, then why can't it be

that you could stand an egg on end at the equinox?

'Cause you can't ever.

And I say that neither of you can hit the fifth row.

At the same time?

On three.

( loud bang )

Get down!

Get down. Somebody's shooting!

Stay down.

Stay still.

( door slams open )

Is everybody all right in here?

We're all right. Miss Cregg?

We're all right. Three shots, one hit.

Straight from the sidewalk, straight shot.

Is the President in the Oval Office?

You need to wait outside.

PRESIDENT: He's on?

Yes, sir.

Let's go.

Mr. President, this is President Bartlet.

Mr. President. What the hell?

Step away from the windows, please.

Okay, you know what, I'm going to have to call you back.

Oval's secure.

Bamboo shoot's ready.

Bamboo-- they want me to get into the motorcade.

RON: Mr. President. What's going on?

You all right, sir? I'm all right.

These people are all code word and higher.

I was on the phone with Chigorin. The translator.

He's got code word clearance.

Three shots were fired from the street,

at least one of them hitting the Press Briefing Room.

We've got the suspect in custody as well as a high-powered rifle.

Was anyone in the room?

C.J., Toby and Will Bailey.

Where are they?

They're fine. Sir, you've got to stay here.

Nobody was hurt?

RON: They're fine. Sir.

You all right? Yeah.

What about you? We're fine.

Will, how many fingers am I holding up? Who's Will, sir?

I don't know if you've met Ron Butterfield,

the head of my detail.

Sure.

Lieutenant Bailey, we're glad to see you alive,

but it's code clearance in here,

and I need you out of earshot, okay? Yes sir.

Where's Charlie? He's somewhere in the building.

We're holding people where they are right now.

But if he's heard what happened,

he's going to be trying to get here.

AGENT: We've got to hold everybody for a moment so that we can...

No, I'm telling you, if Charlie heard

there were bullets, he's going to overpower who's ever...

Sorry, Mr. President.

Come here.

It's bulletproof glass in the windows, okay?

You want to kill me, you're going to have to do it

from inside the building.

Thank you, Mr. President.

You guys all right?

BOTH: Yeah. I'm surprised your guys managed

to keep Fiderer in her chair.

I would have thought she'd be the first one through the...

No, here we are.

Are you all right, Mr. President?

No one was hurt.

Someone shot at the Press Room from the sidewalk.

C.J. went there with Toby and Will.

Will's sitting outside,

and Toby and C.J. are standing right there.

Ron, someone's going to report this, I hope.

Yes, ma'am.

Thank you, Mr. President.

I'm going to need to take your blood pressure

in a few minutes. Yeah.

Thank you.

LEO: Ron, there were two incidents

of terrorist activity earlier today.

A bomb in Malaysia and another in Berlin.

This is just a crazy guy, Leo.

That was just a third

on the phone. In Guam.

The Head of the Office of Insular Affairs

was picked off. Come on.

By a sniper, Mr. President.

Shut it down. Crash it.

Crash the building. Over.

We're crashed.

This is the Oval Office. Crash the West Wing.

by Secret Service agents and Park Police.

Witnesses say the shooter never entered the grounds,

but at least one bullet appears

to have struck the window of a White House Office...

All right, then here it is.

"An indeterminate number of shots were fired

at the White House at...

I said I thought it was three shots,

but I want for the agents to...

Okay, "At 9:23 p.m., striking the Press Briefing..."

The police have confirmed that the weapon was a modified M-16.

We haven't confirmed any ballistics.

Tell your friends to stop saying it was an M-16.

All right, the President was in the Oval Office.

We've initiated a standard lockdown procedure

and are back to conducting the business of the nation.

Again, there are no confirmed reports

of the shooter's identity or background... I'll ask him.

He wants to know

if the President wants to say something funny.

"That's twice in four years.

Some of you guys must really be mad at me"?

Something funnier than that, but yeah.

I'll see you later.

Yeah.

You're getting to see a show tonight.

Everything all right? Yeah.

What happened?

A guy shot at the building a couple times with a rifle.

Somebody shot at the White House?

Yeah. From where?

The street-- Pennsylvania Avenue.

Was anyone hurt? Hm?

Was anyone hurt?

No, but we're in a crash. A lockdown.

They're not going to let you leave the West Wing. I heard.

You know, I thought I heard what sounded like gunshots

while we were talking before, but I didn't...

Did you hear the shots?

No, but I heard

a brass quintet playing "The First Noel,"

so I just assumed somebody somewhere was locked and loaded.

You know, not for nothing, but the people that I talk to

don't believe that story,

and the people that you'd like, don't care.

Uh, they told me you were just here tonight.

Do you have to catch a plane?

The shuttle. I'll get the next one.

Does this happen often?

Well, we don't know what "this" is yet.

We know that somebody shot at the building, though, right?

Yeah. Yeah.

No, that's the first time it's happened to us anyway.

They have a suspect?

Yeah.

Is he white?

I don't know.

They suspect terrorism?

Well, he was shooting a modified M-16.

It was terrorism.

I meant terrorism directed at...

I think you know what I mean.

I have no earthly idea why he shot at us,

nor for that matter do I have any reason to believe it was a he.

That's my assistant, Donna.

Yeah, we met before.

Excuse me a second.

So what's been going on?

You were in the mess?

They kept me down there till just now.

C.J.'s all right?

Yeah. Where were you?

I was in here.

You want anything? No.

You know, I'm going to get you some water or something.

I'm all right.

All right.

So, what do you think of this guy?

I don't know. I haven't been talking to him that long.

Okay.

I'm going to...

I'll be around here.

He's-He's well-qualified, that's for sure.

He's personable, and he's confident...

But?

It's the strangest feeling.

It's like a... really good baseball player

is standing in the other team's locker room for the first time.

You're the baseball player?

He's the baseball player.

In the other guy's locker room?

Yeah.

I don't understand.

Are you writing poetry about this now?

You asked me what I thought of him so far.

I know.

Can I say something?

Can I call Stanley Keyworth

and tell him maybe you're going to be calling him later?

I'm fine.

I was in here. I didn't even see it.

All right.

I'm not going anywhere.

I'm sorry. What were we talking about?

You don't have any information about the suspect.

Right.

( sighs )

( chuckles softly )

I got a letter today that said, uh...

"You're a lying liar.

You lie almost as well as Barflet."

You know, black-white,

rich-poor, north-south, odd-even.

There may not be anything anymore that outpaces

the hatred the right feels for the left

or the tonnage of disrespect the left feels for the right.

Donna got a letter yesterday that said,

"I'm collecting all the guns you've banned,

and there's a bullet with your name on it in each one." Donna.

The guy's decided to focus his wrath on Donna.

He's never met Donna or spoken to her,

and he's never met anyone who's met Donna

or spoken to her.

How's it possible?

How's it possible that he hates her so much?

How can you not like Donna?

She's from Wisconsin.

Anyway,

20,000 specific threats are made against U.S. targets every year,

and with all that, it's still the ones

who don't give you advance notice

that you're worried about.

I asked about terrorism before because of the lockdown.

Procedurally, it'd be the kind of thing they'd be likely to do

if there'd been other incidents in the last few hours.

A bomb in Malaysia.

Another one in Berlin a few hours ago.

We might as well use this time

for the interview.

REPORTER: ...saying in a statement

from White House Press Secretary C.J. Craig

that an indeterminate number of shots

were fired at the White House at 9:23 p.m.

You can stand the egg on the equinox

because that's when the sun's gravity

is lined up directly with the Earth's.

Draw a line from the center of the Earth to the Sun,

and at anytime someplace

on Earth is on that line. Then maybe for us...

C.J., try it. Take an egg. It doesn't work.

That's 'cause it's not...

BOTH: the exact moment... Yes.

What is the exact moment of the equinox? I don't know. Midnight?

Midnight where? All right, maybe it isn't the exact moment of the equinox.

Maybe it's at some point during the equinox

and you just have to keep trying,

but I've seen it.

Are we playing again?

I'll get Ed and Larry.

Donna, would you tell Josh we're back on?

Yes, sir.

( chips clacking )

Did you know

that a day on the moon and a year on the moon

are the same thing?

I did.

I thought my reflexes,

before in the Press Room were cat-like.

The Sit Room Watch Officer has the Kremlin.

PRESIDENT: You guys playing again?

Yeah, the game started up.

President Chigorin, it's Jed Bartlett again.

I'm sorry about being abrupt before,

but I'll bet you if turn on CNN International right now

you'll see...

CHIGORIN ( translated ): My goodness.

There was a shooting at the White House.

Yeah, there you so. It's not a big deal,

but they've shut us down for a little bit.

Well, I'm glad no one was hurt.

By the way, you know

when they crashed the building, they don't crash all of it.

The Situation Room still works.

Yes, sir, I'm sure.

Mr. President, a little while ago

an unmanned B-UAV drone crashed,

we think somewhere inside Kaliningrad,

as a matter of fact.

Apparently, they don't respond you know,

quite the way you'd like

when there's a sudden shift in the weather.

Mr. President, I wasn't told

of a military mission over Kaliningrad.

Well, like I say,

it was a UAV.

It was taking satellite pictures of coastal erosion

in the Baltic Sea.

The Finns know about this.

We'd like to send

a special operations team

ten kilometers west of Borsakova to retrieve it.

Well, Mr. President,

like yourself, I campaigned on the environment.

I'm sorry, sir?

I campaigned on the environment, sir.

Are you getting that translation right?

Yes, sir.

You campaigned on the environment, Mr. President.

Coastal erosion in the Baltic Sea.

I'll take a look at those pictures

and send them to you with your UAV.

Well, the problem is,

our UAVs have a self-detonating capability,

and our people know how to disarm it,

and I wouldn't want to put your guys at risk.

Well, given the circumstances,

I'm sure your experts wouldn't mind

talking through the steps

with our experts.

It's proprietary technology, Peter.

To view coastal erosion?

I know. It seems...

Sir, I'm going to interrupt this call at this time

to speak with my counterintelligence attaché.

Yes, Mr. President.

Thank you, sir.

This isn't working anymore.

ED: Anything wild?

C.J.: Just the dealer.

Four, no help.

Six, possible straight.

Heart, possible flush.

Jack, no help.

And the Dave of Love for a pair of tens.

Tens bet.

You know, you're particularly upbeat

for someone who's been shot at twice in four years.

Am I? Yes.

That's 'cause I've got faith there, mi compadre.

Faith?

The substance of things

hoped for and the evidence of things not seen.

Yeah, but I think what he's asking...

Bump ten.

I think what he's asking is

why on most other nights do you think

the world's going to hell in a hula hoop, but tonight...?

We dip twice and eat gefilte fish?

Suzy Creamcheese, do not attempt the hagaddah.

I know how to bless the soup, too.

I'll raise your raise.

Out.

It's just the two of us.

Faith in what?

In us.

The people in this room?

And many, many, many others.

LARRY: Will, are you

missing your plane?

Not yet. It's a military flight.

Doesn't leave till about 12:30.

What's in Cheyenne?

A number of us

are being sent out there to investigate

something that happened a few days ago.

What happened?

You know, it's one of those things

that sounds worse when you say it out loud

'cause it makes people kind of nervous.

What happened?

Uh, two guys failed to follow through on an order

to fire their rockets at what was thought to be

an incoming ballistic missile from North Korea.

Turns out it was a good thing they didn't,

Outer space. Yeah.

What the hell happened?

Two launch crew officers in Minuteman III silos

picked up a signal of an incoming projectile.

The speed, arc and trajectory of which suggested

that it was headed to New London, Connecticut.

From North Korea.

Yes.

Why do we think

at this point that North Korea's

attacking the East coast of the United States?

There are transcripts from the silo

to show that surprise was expressed at that.

I would think.

The base was already

at DEFCON Delta, so the launch crew initiated

Response Code Orion which calls for

the first in a series of steps to arm their 50 Minutemen.

What's in New London?

Trident.

The gum?

The nuclear submarines.

50 Minutemen they're arming,

and is anyone saying this doesn't make sense?

The two guys in the silo.

The launch sequence went on for two minutes

before they had confirmation it was a meteor.

But the two guys were debating

with Airborne Launch Control, and the Cheyenne Mountain

Operations Center,

and that gets sticky.

This is missile defense.

This stuff has to work.

And they're sending in

a team of lawyers to look into it?

Yeah, but we're scrappy.

( laughs )

A meteor fell from the sky,

the result being that two guys

are going to get court-martialed.

The only two guys who apparently thought it was strange

that North Korea would attack submarines in Connecticut

instead of say, San Diego or Hawaii.

And if it had been a real attack,

would they still have been doing

point/counterpoint with NORAD?

( chuckles )

We failed both on a mechanical and human level.

So tell me again what you have faith in.

Us.

Why?

Because, with what

little time he has, Will is going to Wyoming

to defend one of these guys,

and I don't think it is failing on a human level.

( snickers )

I got ace-high flush. Give me your money.

I've got tens full of queens. Give me yours.

CHARLIE: Hey.

WILL: Who's out there?

Zoey.

Oh, hey. Hi.

This is a coincidence.

I was just stepping outside for some air.

They just let me in a few minutes ago.

Everything's fine. Yeah, I just wanted to check.

I was just going to call you.

Were you? Yeah.

To say you wanted to get back together?

To make sure you were alive.

Well, that's a step in my direction.

You want to come inside for a minute?

I have to get back and study.

One of my finals is tomorrow.

Can you believe you're graduating in two weeks?

I can't.

That went fast. It really did.

Is Chef Boyardee around?

Now, why do you have to do that?

I was asking after him.

We were having a perfectly nice... Sorry.

And on tonight of all nights,

when we should be thinking about...

Why is tonight different than others? You were shot at.

Well, not me personally, but I say all the more reason to...

I'm going to France for three months.

When?

After graduation.

For three months?

Yeah.

For three months?

It's 12 weeks.

When did you come up with this plan?

He asked me a couple days ago.

His family has a farmhouse

in the middle of a vineyard near Avignon.

No press, no politics.

It's what I want to do.

I think it's a great thing to do.

I just don't know why you're doing it with him.

Well, I don't know why you have to...

You've been out with plenty of women

since we broke up, and each time...

I have not.

You don't think I know when you go out?

Every college student in this city

wants to tell me something I don't know.

And every time you've gone out, I've been supportive.

Supportive how? I didn't even know you knew.

That's how.

Hey, you just told me.

I'm not the one using the student bodies

of GW, Georgetown, AU and Catholic University

as intelligence gathering sources.

And UVA and Johns Hopkins, pal. You're easy to spot.

Look...

People like giving me information.

What do you want me to do?

I want you to not go to France with Jean Paul.

Why don't you like him?

Because...

It's been four years

in the White House,

and another being the daughter of a candidate.

Eight years as Governor.

My grades get printed in the paper.

My boyfriends are in the paper.

I live and die with my parents' successes and failures.

And so do you.

Sometimes even more than me.

And Jean Paul doesn't.

He's happy.

He's... just... happy.

That's 'cause he's got $500 million

and no conscience.

No, it isn't.

He cares about things.

And one of them is me.

And none of them are this,

and that's appealing to me right now.

Yeah, I can understand that.

I got to go study.

Sorry you got shot at again.

Thanks.

TRANSLATOR: Mr. President...

Peter... Unless there was a typhoon...

I understand. I meant...

He's yelling at me pretty loud now.

I wasn't referring to the change in weather, sir.

the National Radar Center

does not find any UAVs in the area you discussed.

It's Leo again.

The UAVs are designed to fly below military radar

simply because the closer we get, the better the pictures.

I understand.

Now, what were you taking pictures of?

Coastal erosion in the Baltic...

There is simply no way an American UAV

could have been near the Finnish part...

He's yelling pretty loud at Leo now.

Sir... ...of the Baltic Sea

and end up crashing in Kaliningrad

unless there was a typhoon.

Now, are you telling me...?

Sir...

We have experts, too.

And an S&R team

is looking for the UAV.

Don't do that, Peter.

You shouldn't do that, sir.

We weren't flying in your airspace.

Kaliningrad is in my airspace, Leo,

and an S&R team has been sent

ten kilometers west to see if they can help you find it.

Well, they're going to see it

'cause in five minutes

I'm telling the President to blow it up.

Feel free.

We were taking pictures of Kaliningrad.

Say that again, please.

We were taking pictures of Kaliningrad.

We take pictures of black market nuclear materials

being moved out the backdoors of depositories and into trucks.

The materials are being sold to nongovernmental elements,

and, well, that's what we were doing.

Rogue engineers, unemployed military scientists,

ex-KGB-- it's just as big a problem for you

as it is for us,

but you're not dealing with it,

so we were taking pictures of Kaliningrad.

We're going to have to trust each other a little, Peter.

So we're going to share the pictures we got.

Not the technology we used to get them.

Otherwise I'm detonating it,

and neither of us see the pictures.

We're going to have to trust each other.

Our two countries have stopped the world

from annihilating itself for 60 years

because of conversations like this one.

Why don't you talk it over.

I will.

Good.

I'd have said we weren't spying on you--

we were spying for you, but...

If he calls back, we'll have a deal.

In the meantime, one hand.

Bring your wallet.

Excuse me.

Hi.

Did you just come by to look at him?

I just wanted to let you know

that Stanley's on his cell phone

if you want to talk to him.

You called him?

Just to tell him what happened

and that you might want to call him later.

I told you I wasn't going to call him.

I thought you might change your mind. I didn't.

I'm telling you, there's something--

a guy this qualified, I'd know who he was.

Something's wrong.

I just figured out what.

Come in and say hi.

You've already met Donna.

How are you? How are you

enjoying your lockdown?

It's been a very thorough interview.

JOSH: It has. We talked about his name

and New York City Department of Transportation.

Then we talked about inner cities and jobs

and minimum wage

and public schools and foreign aid,

hitting all the Democrat G-spots.

And it wasn't until now that I realized

that there was something I forgot to ask you.

Are you a registered Democrat?

No.

Are you a registered Independent?

No.

Are you registered?

Yes.

You're a Republican.

Yes! Whoa.

Joe, it's fine.

Ainsley Hayes was a Republican.

It is not fine.

Why not? 'Cause if

you're a Republican, then you damn well

better look like Ainsley Hayes.

He does.

He will to others.

You don't want to get a job with your own party?

I do, I just can't.

Why? I'm in the doghouse

with a number of people at the National Committee.

Why?

A memo that I wrote for the Solicitor General

arguing that the Supreme Court should uphold regulations

that limit soft money donations to political campaigns.

Oh, no, that's the kind of thing that's got to wind you up

in GOP jail for the same amount of time as...

As a Democrat who speaks out against abortion.

Right.

Why do you want to work here? Why not the private sector?

I'm on my way to New York.

You have something lined up?

A final interview at Debevoise and Plimpton.

That's my father's firm. He was a partner there.

I know.

They're going to offer you $225,000 a year.

Is this your fallback?

They're my fallback.

Why do you want to work here?

I like public service. And I want to serve.

And you guys are the only ones left.

Why haven't you signed the questionnaire?

Because I can't.

You lied on it?

Yeah.

Which question?

75.

"Have you ever done anything

that would reflect poorly on the President?"

What'd you do?

I didn't vote for him.

That's really very sweet.

Not to me.

You really want to work with us?

Yes.

You know we got shot at tonight, on a Friday.

Yeah.

All right.

I'm recommending you to Leo.

Last card for the players.

Hurry it up, they're going to call us back in a second.

Debbie, do something.

$50.

I'm out. Fold. Thank you.

Is the pastrami from Krupin's?

Yes.

Tissue paper thin?

Yes.

Mr. President?

Damn it. Chigorin?

Yes, sir. They're ready for you.

Nice job.

Okay, I've searched "equinox" and "egg,"

and the news isn't good for the believers.

What sites did they send you to?

ThingsThatAreWrong.com.

There's no such site. Read it.

"This has to be one of the silliest misconceptions around

and it never seems to die."

They also send you to The Apocryphal Zone

and Project Astro Utah.

There's no Web site supporting it? No.

And you got to ask yourself if no one on the Internet

wants a piece of this, just how far

from the pack have you strayed?

I could've sworn I saw it.

Ah... Oh, now you think you saw it.

I could've sworn.

We're back up, everybody.

Thank you.

What's the deal with the guy?

He was by himself.

He's not connected to anything?

No.

Just a very troubled guy

Anyway, thank you

for your cooperation.

I'm heading to Andrews.

Have a safe flight.

I'm cashed out.

Anyone need a ride? I'm going home.

You headed home?

In just a minute.