Original subtitles

Previously, on The West Wing... Isn't this a strange time

to be moving into your office?

I'm the 2:00 a.m. watch commander

in the Situation Room tonight.

Why didn't you tell me you worked at the White House?

The RNC exits, a dead candidate

a rainstorm...?

I'm at the Hyatt in Newport Beach

with the Horton Wilde campaign

and the place is going absolutely berserk.

Bonnie, Ginger

get me Will Bailey.

Get me Kay Wilde very quickly, please.

Good evening, sir. You're the nominee.

There's no nominee.

Everyone's on the ballot.

Is there another Democrat? No.

You're the nominee.

C.J.: Good morning, sir. What's doing?

You're going to hear a story this morning.

Uh-huh. Am I a character in this story?

Well, I suppose that's up to you.

A navy pilot, Lieutenant Commander Vickie Hilton

has been taken under arrest by the military police

as being charged by the judge advocate

with having an affair with a married officer

an inferior officer, a lieutenant-jg.

I don't see being a character.

Well, heads up anyway. Thank you.

LEO: Good morning, sir. Hey.

How'd it go? Could have gone better.

I didn't think adultery was against the uniform code.

You're talking about Vickie Hilton?

Yeah. It's against military law?

No. They don't like fraternization

but her thing isn't the affair

it's failure to follow an order.

They told her to stop?

Yeah. What can she get?

She could go to jail for two years.

For failure to follow an order?

Sure. We should have that here.

MAN: Good morning, Mr. President.

Good morning, Mr. Secretary, ladies and gentlemen

and welcome

to the final cabinet meeting

of Bartlet One.

I don't know if this is true

but a presidential historian told me

that this was the most stable cabinet since Hoover's.

Which is nice, but you got to think

how many other jobs were really available.

( laughter )

But here are facts:

You created over nine million new jobs

and the highest home ownership rate on record.

More than 150 new trade agreements.

You created the largest expansion of college aid

since the G.I. Bill.

Cleaned up over 500 toxic waste dumps.

And you did it all while eliminating

16,000 pages of Federal regulations.

Not bad for government work. Thank you.

I'll add my thanks

and I'll need your letters of resignation by 7:00.

of Shehab missile tests. Is the White House concerned?

We are. I think all the Bahrain signatories are

and we're expressing that concern

through the appropriate multilateral channels. John.

Can you give us a preview

of the President's address at APEC?

I can tell you

that he's been working out some new material

and that it has absolutely been destroying on the campuses.

Of course, Showtime will have their cameras at APEC

to record the whole thing for the President's one-hour special

called Bartlett: In the Thick of It.

So no. No.

I'll finish with a little housekeeping

for those who don't know.

In a two-term presidency

as a matter of courtesy, the President's cabinet resigns

without being asked, giving the President the option

of hiring them or not rather than firing them or not.

Those resignations will be submitted today.

That's all. Thanks.

MITCH: C.J.? Yeah?

Can we talk?

Sure. About what? About what?

What's wrong? The seats.

What happened?

Sorry, I forgot.

I moved the news magazines to the fourth row.

Yeah, I noticed. Why? It isn't a thing, Mitch.

There are cameras in here now that are framing

part of the gallery and not just the podium

and the news magazines aren't here every day

so the camera's getting a couple of empty seats.

We're in the front row. Yeah, but we're safe

after row three, so I put you guys on four.

You can't just do this. It's a slap in the face.

Well, I certainly didn't mean it as one. It is.

Mitch, I put you in the very first row I don't care about.

Of the things I don't care about, I put you right up front.

I'll see you later.

You should amend that in a statement

to say that the resignations are effective

whenever they're effective.

I did. Okay.

He's going to remember he doesn't say a word about labor

without running it past the local AFL? Yeah.

Is he? Yeah.

And he's got to go door-to-door.

He hasn't lived there since he was 18. He knows.

Speaking of which, high school snapshots. He knows.

You're taking the Lakers banner.

Yeah.

'Cause there's a shortage of them in Southern California?

Leave it, and leave the stapler.

It's a West Wing office.

Someone's going to use it for 90 days.

And they might need a stapler.

It's ours.

Right.

You've logged a lot of miles in the last couple of weeks.

Well, I had to go get nominated and then set up the office

and then meet every member of the California Democratic Party.

Listen, there's no way I'm going to be able to help with this.

Which is worse for me than it is for you

but there's never going to be the time.

I wasn't counting on it.

Are you going to use Michael? From the staff?

Yeah. Michael's who you use

when you need brief remarks

to whoever wrote the check we couldn't turn down.

What about Jerry? Jerry's who you use

when you can't get Michael.

There's no one on the speech writing staff

who can do this. It's okay.

That's a pretty big job to do by yourself.

( chuckles softly )

You're going to remember the local AFL?

Yeah. You got to go door-to-door.

I know.

You were 18 when you lived there.

You want a hug?

Put the banner back.

See you next week.

There are some new people.

Cabinet Affairs installed some temps

so you'd have extra staff during the vetting period.

Which is good. But?

I'm not one to give fashion advice... No, you're not.

But one of them... Sorry.

one of them is wearing a...

a, uh... a Star Trek pin.

Is today a special Star Trek holiday or something?

How the hell would I know?

Okay, well, then would you find out?

And if it's not, you know

people walk through here

and it's not the most confidence-inspiring sight

to see in a White House employee

so if you could ask her to...

It's a her?

Yeah. I have my briefing memo?

Thank you.

Hang on, I'm doing you a favor

now you have to do me one.

You're... almost there, but you're not quite getting it.

When it's something you're paid to do, that's not a favor.

What do you got?

Nancy McNally has a new military aide named Jack Reese

and we've talked a few times

and I want you to ask him if he likes me.

Wow, I'm definitely not going to do that.

How many girls have I gotten for you?

Aren't these basically women who've come up to you

and said, "Is that Josh Lyman?" Yes.

And you've said...? Yes every time.

Well, I'll properly I.D. you for him, no problem.

Oh, come on. Just a little bit.

All you have to do is introduce yourself

and remind him in some way that I work for you

and see if he says anything.

I can't, Potsie.

Ralph and I are double-dating with the Dubrusky twins.

I am asking for something very little

and you know, you know how lame I am with this.

That's true.

That was for the fashion. Yes.

You'll do it?

Hey, what are you doing here?

Hey. She's got an appointment with you

right after senior staff.

We're running about 15 minutes behind.

At 10:00? That's, like, a half hour ahead.

I know. We're very proud.

What's the meeting about?

You'll do it? Yes.

I know what the meeting's about.

It's about Vickie Hilton.

And I'm here in no official capacity

and I'm wielding nothing

but the League of Professional Women

is going to represent her, and they asked me

if I could help get them time with the President.

There's no way the White House is going to get involved in it.

It's a military thing. Civilians run the military.

Not only is it okay for you to get involved

you're supposed to. It's the law.

And the commander in chief chooses not to overrule his commanders.

He chooses to do that without hearing informed argument?

Yes, 'cause then, when he says no

I got a problem with women.

Except that my friends and I

can give him a problem with women right now.

What happened to "I came wielding nothing"?

I forgot that women just got him reelected.

Evidently, you did, too.

( mocking ): "Evidently, you did, too."

I met her last night. This is a special girl.

I want to speak up for her.

All right, we'll talk in 15 minutes.

"All right, we'll talk in 15 minutes."

Shut up.

You shut up.

Oh, God help me some days.

( Josh clears throat )

( applause )

You really don't have to do that anymore.

Hey.

Hey. Where you going?

Where'd you finally settle on?

Nice.

Excellent!

I like to stay at the Hotel Beau Rivage

but I think that's

going to be a little pricey for you.

Actually, I'm going

to stay at the Villa Ephrussi de Rothchild

at Sait-Jean-Cap-Ferrat.

It's not a hotel, I guess, quite so much

as it's... well, a castle.

Yeah. This is family connection?

Yeah.

All of Europe's

a family connection for you, isn't it?

Parts of Asia.

When's the plane leave?

Three hours. So I'm out of here.

You're going to remember

you still have to put the County Clerk in the boat

You're going to remember Nina Mercer

and you're going to remember light rail.

Listen, I wouldn't ask you

to postpone your vacation if it wasn't important.

When did you ask me to postpone my vacation?

Well, I'm obviously about to right now.

Okay, well, then, your shoelaces are untied

and I'm hauling ass.

Toby Ziegler needs your help

on a speech he's writing for the President.

You have an OEOB full of speechwriters.

Not everybody over there does this kind of speech writing.

And at this particular moment, not anybody over there

does this kind of speech writing.

You're kidding. No.

Maybe you want to do something about that.

I would, Will, but I don't work there

at the moment.

I won. I'm sorry.

How many times do I have to say I'm sorry?

Well, you're not done yet.

Look, it would be a privilege

to help write for the President

it would be the thrill of a lifetime

but I'm just too tired to do it well.

This was a really hard campaign.

A guy died from it.

This campaign has fatalities.

When is the President giving his speech?

January 20.

The President is giving two speeches on the 20th?

No, just the Inauguration.

Sure. And Toby wants me?

Yeah, 'cause of the Tillman speech.

You're flying in that direction anyway

thought you could meet in Washington

and meet with Toby.

Yeah.

I'll set up the appointment.

I'll change my flight.

Give this to Toby Ziegler when you get there, okay?

Yeah.

The latest talks, would you say they signal

a shift by the White House

away from containing the greenhouse gases?

No, I definitely wouldn't.

The President's fully committed to Kyoto

and thinks it's time we began adapting

to the impact of greenhouse gases, is all. Mark?

Commander Vickie Hilton is quoted...

I'm just going to stop you there

and direct you to the Pentagon. Mitch.

C.J., I wanted to ask you about your reshuffling of the seats.

Well, we already discussed that

but if you want to talk more in my office...

You made a unilateral decision.

Well, it's my house, Mitch. But, as matter of fact

I consulted with the White House Correspondent's Association.

I think you changed the seating

because you don't like our coverage.

Or your attitude. But that's not why I changed the seating.

Thank you. Thank you, C.J.

Thank you, C.J.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay, I'm going to see Fitzwallace.

Yeah.

Hey, I see she's not wearing the pin anymore. Thanks.

She's kind of worked up about it.

Why?

I don't know.

All right. Hang on.

Hi. I'm Josh Lyman.

Janice Trumbull.

Yeah, the reason why I wanted you to take off the pin

is just around the White House, you understand...

I'm appealing your request to Stacy.

I'm sorry?

My supervisor is Stacy.

Right, except Stacy works for me.

Okay, well, you got the cards

but Star Trek and the entire Starfleet series

is about honor and loyalty and civic duty, and the fact

that you don't think those are characteristics

that should be displayed inside

the White House is sad.

But I wouldn't expect you

to understand those kinds of things.

Anything else?

No.

You see what I mean?

Shh, shh, shh.

What?

She is... well, one of the special people.

Yeah.

She's taken off the pin.

We're going to let it be.

I'm assuming you haven't talked to him yet?

That's right.

What do you think about this Vickie Hilton problem?

I think you know what I think.

No, I mean about whether it's right

for the White House to be involved.

That's a harder question.

I've been thinking about it and...

You've got to go faster next time.

I'm here already.

Yeah.

Mr. Chairman, thank you.

Hope you haven't been waiting.

No, I never get to read the sports section anymore.

I think I know what this is about.

Yeah, there's going to be

pressure from women for the President to intercede

and I was hoping we could find a way to intercede

without involving the President.

These things are handled at the Commander's level

in the navy, and I wouldn't step in

unless it's the President's pleasure to order me.

I understand.

I guess also, the thing is

that she isn't just any pilot.

She's like Jackie Robinson.

She's busted a lot of barriers.

She's the first woman at Miramar

first woman to fly the F-14 Tomcat

she teaches on an F-14.

I guess, at this point

I don't have to give you a resume.

No, but could you tell me more about Jackie Robinson

and breaking barriers?

( chuckles )

Just out of curiosity

if you could step in, would you save her?

No. I'd discharge her, dishonorably

and I'm sure that's what's going to happen.

I have to tell you

it just doesn't seem right to me.

I know it doesn't.

Admiral, you know

I have all the respect in the world for you, right?

Yes. And if I didn't

I'd respect the uniform, the rank, and the position anyway.

What is it, son?

I feel like I have to go to Leo.

Good.

That's the way it's supposed to work.

( heavy sigh )

( knocking )

Yeah.

Excuse me.

They told me to knock on the door.

I'm Will Bailey.

Oh, we have an appointment, right?

Yeah. Come on in.

Sit down.

Thanks.

Will Bailey.

Yes.

So, you want a job on the speech writing staff.

I'm sorry?

You want a job

on the speech writing staff.

No.

I'm sorry?

I don't want a job on the speech writing staff.

You're Will Bailey.

Yes.

Sam told me you wanted to see me

about a job on the speech writing staff.

Well, he told me that you wanted help with the Inauguration.

He did?

Yeah.

Sam's doing a little matchmaking.

I'm fine

doing this by myself.

That's it?

Yeah.

Okay.

Your garbage can is on fire.

Yeah, it's not personal

a speech like this.

Obviously, it takes a certain amount

of experience and, uh...

...and uh, a certain something.

Just out of curiosity

how do you know I don't have the something?

'Cause you don't have the experience.

Okay.

Well, it was nice meeting you.

You, too.

For the record...

I was President of Cambridge Union

on a Marshall Scholarship, and I've written

for three congressional races and a governor.

I read the Stanford Club speech.

I thought it was good.

Not as good

as other people thought it was.

Yeah?

Call and response isn't going to work

in front of a Joint Session.

You're alliteration happy:

"Guardians of gridlock, protectors of privilege."

I needed an avalanche of Advil.

And when you use pop culture references

your speech has a shelf life of 12 minutes.

You don't mind constructive criticism, do you?

No, sir.

Anyway, thanks for coming in.

I told Sam I can do this by myself.

Well, maybe he thought that your speeches

were obscurantist policy tracts lost in a cul-de-sac

of their own internal self-righteousness

and groaning from the weight of statistics.

I'm just speculating.

I can't say for sure.

( tapping finger on desk )

A 500-word stanza on American leadership

in a globally interdependent age

that moves beyond triumphalism by this time tomorrow.

If it's 501, don't show it to me.

( heavy sigh )

You wanted to see me?

I need a favor: the President's gonna be getting a phone call

and I don't want him to take it

and I don't want him to know why.

The first part is okay

the second part gets ethically tricky.

The U.N. has had a decades-old conflict with New York City.

Foreign diplomats will park anywhere they want

and they get tickets.

And?

Don't pay them.

And that's where our action begins

'cause every once in a while

the city goes on a jihad

and starts towing all their cars and that's just happened.

So someone's complaining to the President?

Yes. Who?

The Secretary-General.

You want me to have the President dodge a call

from the U.N. Secretary-General and not know why?

Yeah. Could you swing that?

If I could, that would be troubling, wouldn't it?

I've got to keep the knucklehead stuff

off his desk, and this is worse.

This is actually hot-button knucklehead.

This could be a thing.

If he knows why the Secretary's calling

he's gonna lose it and he's gonna be in it.

Yes, sir.

What do you think about Vickie Hilton?

I don't think you can reasonably ask someone

to control who they fall in love with.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Hey. Hey.

You wanted to see me?

I did. Because I read a set of brief remarks

for the Better Housing Conferences.

Is that something you usually read?

No. Why were you reading it?

Because it's not something I usually read.

I noticed that the writing has a quality

you don't usually find in remarks of this nature.

Usually it's written by one of the guys in the shop.

We're a little shorthanded over there.

I did it myself.

Well, instead of FHA insured home loans

you wrote FEMA insured home loans.

I meant FHA.

Yeah, 'cause FEMA doesn't insure home loans.

They don't insure anything.

They're the people who come in after a tornado.

I know that.

What do you want to do with Sam gone for three months?

We talked about this. As long as you still know what you're doing.

The adjustment period with me for a new person...

You adjusted to Sam.

Maybe, and if I did, it was like a week ago.

Still, you could try to...

Who? Who would you get?

There are people out there.

There are not people who...

You're like the guys who say

"Are you telling me you could only find

"one African-American speechwriter good enough

to work at the White House?"

I'm amazed I found that many.

"Good enough to work at the White House" is a pretty small

population to begin with.

And guys who can write entire sections of a State of the Union?

I'd be as surprised if there were as many as nine of us.

Sam was one of them.

Okay. What do you think

about Vickie Hilton?

I think we invested time and money

teaching her how to fly a warplane

which it turns out she does very well

and there aren't that many who do.

So, I'm going to go ahead and pick national security

over caring who she sleeps with.

Josh talked to me today.

It can't go in the Oval Office.

No, it can't. It can't.

Except I have a woman problem.

Is Jordon pestering you?

'Cause I'm getting it from Andy on this day and night.

No, Toby, I meant a woman's issue.

The constituency of women.

Yeah.

Though Jordy hasn't shut up about Vickie Hilton.

This is what I'm saying.

All right. Thank you.

Thanks.

PRESIDENT: Okay, thank you.

What the hell's going on with the seats in the briefing room?

I wouldn't worry about it, Mr. President.

I'm not worried about it, but I just read about it.

The news magazines aren't here every day

and the empty seats don't look good on camera

so I moved them to the fourth row.

I think you shouldn't comment on it.

I'll comment on it: I'll say sit your ass

where you're told and get back to work.

Yeah, and I don't think you should do that.

Mr. President? Yeah.

The Secretary-General.

Thanks. No.

I'm sorry?

Yes, sir, you can't take that call yet.

I'm sorry. Toby wanted you to see a new memo on Rwanda

before you spoke to the Secretary-General

and I forgot to tell the switchboard.

Okay, we'll have to return. Thank you, sir.

Anyway, you're going to take care of it?

I'm going to have a camera position moved.

Well, I'm sorry to hear you're caving, but whatever.

Yeah, I'm not caving, sir.

Well, okay, but still, whatever.

Excuse me, Mr. President. Come on in.

You'd asked for the CEC briefing.

Thanks. This is Jack Reese.

He's working for Nancy.

This is Josh Lyman and C.J. Cregg.

Commander.

How are you?

They're talking about a force level data-fusion network.

Yes, sir.

Nancy thinks France will come around

after the North Sea exercise.

She does, sir, yes. You agree?

I do, sir.

Okay.

Thanks very much, everybody.

ALL: Thank you, Mr. President.

( sighs )

Thank you.

JOSH: Commander?

Yeah.

Hi, I'm Josh Lyman. We just met in there.

Yeah.

This conversation you and I are having right now

it was not my idea to have it.

This must be distinctly understood.

Is anything wrong?

You've met my assistant Donna.

Yeah, she was standing outside when I went to vote.

She wanted to trade with a Ritchie voter

'cause she filled out her ballot wrong.

I thought it was... kind of cool.

Well, if you liked that, she nearly got arrested once

when she got her arm stuck in a mailbox

trying to retrieve a letter she wrote to Ilie Nastase.

She once left her underpants at an art opening

and, after a summit in Belarus

she tried to smuggle 11 scented Minsk candles

into an overnight bag.

They evacuated the terminal.

Really?

Yeah.

Okay.

Was there something I can do for you?

No.

Okay, good meeting you.

You, too.

DONNA: Josh.

Perfect timing.

Why?

I just talked to him.

Jack? Yeah.

And?

I think I did well. I think I fanned the flame.

Does he want to go out? I think he does.

What did he say?

He said he thought it was cool

that you were looking for someone to trade votes.

And what did you say?

I told him there are plenty more

where that came from.

What do you mean?

I told him about Ilie Nastase.

Why?

What do you mean?

Why did you tell him that?

I thought it went with the vote swapping theme.

No, it goes with the crazy theme.

What else did you tell him?

The scented Minsk candles.

Josh... These are endearing stories.

If you know me, if you know me well, if you already like me

these are not stories, for instance

I would've told you when I was trying to get the job.

When you were trying to get the job

you were pretending that you'd already gotten the job

so it's not like your underwear at an art gallery

was gonna change my mind.

You told him about the underwear?!

Again, endearing.

Karen Cahill had me flummoxed.

Did you tell him I was flummoxed?

I think the underwear on the floor speaks for itself.

You have to go back. Why?

'Cause he's gonna think I'm flaky.

Maybe, but he's not gonna care.

Why? Guys will go out with anybody.

That hasn't been my experience.

Go back. I'm not gonna...

I have done many humiliating things for you.

Okay, but I'm gonna work for a while

on making people's lives better.

How long's that gonna ta... take?

( sighs )

You're gonna talk to Berryhill?

Yes, sir.

He wants to feel loved. Yes.

You'll make him feel loved.

I want him on the Cabinet.

Yeah, he's gonna feel all kinds of love.

Thank you.

Josh saw me yesterday about Vickie Hilton.

You think we should get involved?

No, but you're gonna have problems with the women.

Abbey and the girls? No.

Women? Yes.

'Cause I've got to tell you I've been hearing it

from Abbey and the girls.

I'm sure. What do you think?

It stays out of the Oval Office.

No, I meant about Vickie Hilton.

She disobeyed an order.

You can't do that.

Sure.

Yes. But isn't there some question

as to whether it's practical

to give that order in the first place?

You want pilots overruling their superiors with regard

to what's practical and what's not?

No, I'm just saying there are a few sides to this.

That's for sure, and you've just heard mine.

But we'll hear no others

because we don't want it in the Oval Office.

Right.

Okay. Anything else?

Thank you, Mr. President.

( door shuts )

Mitch...

Good morning.

I hope you weren't waiting.

Oh, just a minute.

Well, you win, I lose.

I don't want this to be a story.

I want the President to be able to function.

I'm moving the news magazines back up front

and I apologize.

I appreciate that.

When you're not here, there'll be a sign on your chair

with your name and the name of your publication.

I've given C-SPAN permission for a second camera position

that's on your seat

so the broadcast director can go there

at his or her discretion.

Are you kidding about this? No.

If you're not here, you better get a seat filler

and they better be prepared

'cause they're going to be called on

for the honor of the first question.

This should be about other people, don't you think?

As a matter of fact, I do.

I know.

Happy Thanksgiving, Mitch.

Happy Thanksgiving.

By the way, Danny Concannon

won a Pulitzer Prize from the fourth row.

Danny's more talented than I am.

See you, Mitch.

JACK: Come in.

Hey, Josh.

I'm really sorry to bother you.

No. I'm just working.

What are you working on?

A memo for the C.O. at a radar station in the Arctic Circle.

You ever been there?

Yeah.

What's it like?

Well, small-town feel.

Nicest people you'll ever meet

and a terrific symphony

if you like classical music with

a pops orchestra on Sunday nights.

Really?

No. There's no symphony or people.

Right. On the other hand

Sunday night does last six months.

Listen, it occurs to me that, uh...

you know, I mentioned Donna before

and it occurs to me that I told you

that I named some things that tickled me.

I... I don't know.

I certainly wouldn't want to leave you with the impression

that she was... you know...

Anyway, if you wanted to ask her out

she'd probably say yes.

( sighs )

Hey, Josh, uh...

I'm new here and I want to do well

and, uh, I don't want to get in between anything.

"In between anything"?

( sighs )

I have an aide who, in my life

I haven't talked about as much as you've talked about Donna

in our entire relationship, yours and mine

which a cumulative total of seven minutes old.

No, no, no.

You sure? Sure. Tell me

your aide's name. I'll ask her out. We'll double.

Chief Petty Officer Harold Wendell.

I got the fuzzy end of that lollipop.

I don't know. Wendell's not "cute" cute

but he's so funny.

So, that's it.

We're done talking about Donna.

Whose full name is Donnatella, by the way.

Mom's Italian...

Dad's Irish.

Okay. Thanks.

Are we to live with the assumption

that there are no men in the services

who've committed adultery?

I don't know what's worse:

Being stupid or pretending to be stupid.

Tell him that.

Yes, sir.

No, I'm going to do it.

Eisenhower and Kay Summersby, a subordinate.

Hammond with the wives of two junior officers.

So, G.I. Jane gets a court-martial?

G.I. Joe gets a short film on hygiene?

That is all I have to say to you.

Feel better, sir?

I forgot to tell him something else.

The Uniform Code of Military Justice, Article 134

which exists to ensure

that soldiers will risk their life for each other.

I think you'll agree that, without that

there isn't much point

in having Articles one through 133.

Nobody ordered Eisenhower to stop seeing Summersby.

That's right.

Because men don't give that order to other men.

Excuse me, but did you not fire

our ambassador to somewhere in South America--

I can't remember--

'cause he was messing around with...

The daughter of the president

of Brazil, which presented a political problem for me.

Also, I didn't fire him.

I asked him to resign.

And I set him up in the private sector.

And if you think the difference is semantics

look up dishonorable discharge in there.

Look up Fort Leavenworth.

Sir, it's the Secretary-General again. Yeah.

No, you can't take that, sir.

I read the memo on Rwanda.

Average rainfall nine inches?

That's the memo Toby wanted me to read?

On short notice. Yes, sir.

I told him to pass- block on the call.

Why?

Parking tickets.

Now, please, don't leap into it.

Don't...

There are big signs you can't park there!

They should get towed!

I hope they get towed to Queens

and the Triboro is closed

and there's a big crafts show at Shea

a flea market or a tractor show!

Well, that was probably his secretary.

Damn it!

You can bet she'll be parking it in a garage, though.

Do you really think that Vickie Hilton

is unable to distinguish between this order

and a combat order?

This was a combat order. They're all combat orders.

When you order a guy to go fight

the guy can't think it's 'cause your sleeping with his wife.

You're right.

That's... That's an unusual phrase for you, sir.

Did you just learn it?

Well, you didn't let me finish.

I had a hunch.

I may also be right.

We get five more people in here

I think we're going to have eight opinions.

That's right. So, let's.

It's Pentagon.

And two elections in a row

people said they wanted me to run that.

There are issues of chain of command and command influence.

Right now, I'm not talking about overruling anyone

or pardoning anyone.

Right now, I'm just talking about having people over

and asking questions.

I like basketball, but I can't play.

I don't know why.

I played in prep school and I liked being on the team

but I didn't want the ball

and the coach said, "Jeb, winners always want the ball."

I said, "Coach, winners are also better than I am."

He said, "Son, to be a winner

you've got to think like a winner."

I said, "Coach, to be a winner

you've also got to be better than I am."

Anyway, he was right.

Winners want the ball.

I don't think I ever want to hear

it's too sticky for the Oval Office.

Except for parking tickets

you cheap-ass diplomats!

Read that whole memo on Rwanda, by the way.

What are you smiling at?

Nothing.

Are we together on this?

Do we have resolve?

We've got four years, no election

and a Republican Congress that hates me

and actually hates you more.

You ready to saddle up?

Well, I serve at the President's pleasure...

and it's kind of nice for me to.

All right, good then.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Hey.

I think he's going to call you.

He already did.

Thank you, thank you.

He asked me to have a drink tonight

and I'd really love to go home

and shower and change.

The two CBO reports are right on your desk

as is the East Asia paper.

Your call sheet is clear.

If there's anything else, I'm happy to come in early tomorrow.

Do you think I could go?

What time is it? Quarter to 8:00.

Sure. Thanks.

I really like him.

Have a good time.

Those are good stories about you, though.

Those stories would make me like you.

You like everybody.

Tomorrow's Thanksgiving. Yeah.

I meant, you won't be coming in early tomorrow.

You won't be coming in at all.

Is there anything you need?

No, I'm just saying...

Okay.

Happy Thanksgiving.

You, too.

JANICE: I'm not obsessed, you know.

I'm sorry?

I'm not obsessed.

I'm just a fan and I care.

What's your name again?

Janice.

I'm a fan.

I'm a sports fan, I'm a music fan

and I'm a Star Trek fan.

All of them.

But here's what I don't do.

Tell me if any of this sounds familiar:

Let's list our ten favorite episodes.

Let's list our least favorite episodes.

Let's list our favorite galaxies.

Let's make a chart

to see how often our favorite galaxies appear

on our favorite episodes.

What Romulan would you most like to see coupled

with a Cardassian and why?

Let's spend a weekend

talking about Romulans falling in love Cardassians

and then let's do it again.

That's not being a fan.

That's having a fetish.

And I don't have a problem with that

except you can't bring your hobbies into work, okay?

Got it.

Except on Star Trek holidays.

There's no such thing as a Star Trek holiday.

Well, work hard around here.

We'll make one.

TOBY: ...not just a chance, but a mission

unique in all of human...

To prove that liberty is...

To prove that...

( chuckles )

Freedom unlocks...

a higher fraction of the human potential...

than...

than any...

498. But with my name, it's 500.

This is mine.

Stop reading mine.

Actually, it's...

Stop reading it, please.

We can't offer you any money.

We can put you up in a hotel.

I work with someone.

She's my stepsister, actually.

That's fine, but she's on your payroll.

This is incredibly good, Will.

"Never shrinking from the world's...

...a fierce belief in what we can achieve together."

I used to write like this.

It was ten months ago.

I don't understand what's going on.

I really don't.

I've had slumps before.

Everybody does, but this is different.

I'm sorry. We don't know each other

but there aren't that many people

I can talk to about it.

I don't understand what's happening.

There's no blood going to it.

I never had to locate it before.

I don't even know where to look.

I'm the President's voice

and I don't want it to sound like this.

There's an incredible history to second inaugurals.

Fear not, Lincoln

I really thought I was on my way to being one of those guys.

I thought I was close.

Now I'm just writing for my life

and you can't serve the President that way.

But if I didn't write...

I can't serve him at all.

Can I tell you three things?

You are more in need of a night in Atlantic City

than any man I've ever met.

Number two is the last thing

you need to worry about is no blood going there.

You've got blood going there.

About 13 ways.

And some of it isn't good.

Once again, I say Atlantic City.

I'd say sit down at a table

go for dinner, see a show

take a walk on the boardwalk and smell the salt air.

But if you're anything like me

nothing after sit down at the table is going to happen.

What's the third thing?

You are one of those guys.

This is an inning of good relief pitching

from a fresh arm.

All right. All right.

Chances are you have certain qualities

that are going to annoy me.

I don't know what they are yet

but you have a certain quality about you that says

that even though you're a capitalist

you've been schooled in eastern philosophies.

I told you to go to Atlantic City.

You didn't deny you've been schooled in eastern philosophy.

Well-schooled.

You want me to locate your chakra?

Look... I'm a lawyer.

Good, 'cause they're never annoying.

Okay.

I'm glad you liked what I wrote.

I'm pretty tired.

I've been tired for a pretty long time

and you've been tired even longer.

I'm getting on a plane tonight

and going to a place in Nice

and I'm going to stay there for a few weeks.

When I get back, it'd be a privilege

to give you all the help you ask for.

Well, I appreciate that.

Oh, man, I forgot.

Sam wanted me to give you this.

You didn't give it to me yesterday.

Yeah, you know what?

Not your FedEx guy.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Unless you want to start now.

Yeah.