Original subtitles

Previously on The West Wing...

C.J. Cregg is getting threats

so we put an agent on her.

He walked into the middle of an armed robbery

and was shot and killed.

Crime.

Boy, I don't know.

PRESIDENT: You think the strike against me

is nobody likes the smartest kid in the class.

It isn't a strike

unless you watch it as it sails by.

RITCHIE: You're weak, you're liberal

and you can't be trusted.

WOMAN: Horton Wilde is in the hospital.

He's had a heart attack.

The Democrats have nominated someone

who's had three heart attacks.

PRESIDENT: In the future

if you're wondering--

"Crime, boy, I don't know"--

is when I decided to kick your ass.

TOBY: A crises of confidence?

LEO: Yeah.

I don't understand.

I was on the helicopter with him

earlier this morning, and I'm telling you

he's second-guessing himself

he's revising answers in his head...

Leo?

I know.

What-what... I don't...

When I left him, he was ready.

I don't understand. He's ready.

You can see it.

Not this morning.

This isn't supposed

to happen with you people.

Christians? Yes.

What happened to "steady as she goes"?

A smart guy said

the presidential elections are won and lost

on one square foot of real estate.

Up here.

Well, that's great. Yeah.

All right, we still got a day and a half

before he debates.

We'll go back to school.

I think that's just going to pour gas on the problem.

What do you want to do?

We've got a two-minute drill right now.

I think whatever answers he gives

we should just say

"That's terrific, Mr. President."

What's the point of the two-minute drill?

We got five of them scheduled

before tomorrow night.

We're using one of them for this.

This is crazy. I don't believe this.

That's terrific, Mr. President.

All right. SAM: Leo...

Listen, we're going to do something

in the... in the drill right now.

What?

No notes, just positive reinforcement.

Why?

He has a problem this morning.

All right.

Leo, I've got an 9:30 flight.

I'll be there sometime after lunch.

You really can't do this with a phone call?

Oh, God, I don't know.

The man died.

There's a widow.

We're asking them to pack.

I'm an hour and 15 minutes away in a rental car

and we didn't make it personal.

All right, I just need you in San Diego.

TOBY: Josh!

We're still looking for ten words.

JOSH: I'm still looking for them, too.

Ten words, ten words-- let's go.

JOSH: We're going to expand the field.

TOBY: No notes during this drill.

That's you, too.

What's that?

No notes during the drill. Why?

He's in his head. There's pretty important feedback

in the two-minute drills.

We've got four more.

We've got one on the plane.

When does Debbie actually start?

The President sent her to the Maxwell school

for a three-day crash course in everything.

You know you got a ten dollar bill in there

on your clipboard?

Yeah. I owe it to someone.

You can all go on in.

Thank you.

PRESIDENT: Ten words, ten words.

We don't have them yet, Mr. President.

All right, let's do a drill.

C.J.: Mr. President, despite a rise in tension

around the globe, you've held up funding

for a missile defense shield.

Too much money for too little protection.

ALL: Good. Next.

JOSH: Sir, you oppose a voucher system

that would offer children a choice of better schools...

That would offer some children a choice of better schools

but I haven't given up the ghost on better schools for everybody

and vouchers drain money from that goal.

Mr. President, this next question's

on capital punishment, which you oppose:

If your youngest daughter Zoey was raped and murdered

would you not want to see

the man responsible put to death?

First of all, it's important to understand

that the President doesn't make that decision

though he appoints Supreme Court Justices who do so.

What... any... um...

All right, I'm not going to say that.

I'll just go right to...

No. I don't.

I think you... know that I'm opposed...

( sighs )

Let's not do that.

I haven't seen any evidence

that it's a deterrent, and there are more

effective...

In my state...

Oh, my God. What?

You weren't kidding.

What's the matter with you?

When I left you...

I just mentioned your daughter

being murdered, and you're giving us an answer

that's not only soporific, it's barely human.

Yes, you'd want to see him put to death.

You'd want it to be cruel and unusual

which is why it's probably a good idea

that fathers of murder victims don't have legal rights

in these situations.

Now, we're going back to school.

( laughter )

Let's go-- ten bucks.

PRESIDENT: Crisis

of confidence.

You did one square foot

of real estate?

Yes, I did.

Ten bucks for you.

And you-- you big bear, come to me.

I'm going to kiss you

right on the mouth.

Ten bucks.

LEO: Anything else, sir?

Work hard.

ALL: Thank you, sir.

Thank you, Mr. President.

( groaning )

( laughter )

( groaning )

Have a safe flight.

I'll see you in San Diego.

I'm sorry about that.

It was the President's idea.

He bet us you couldn't stay quiet

if he gave a bad answer.

( stifled laughter )

What?

He's ready.

( indistinct conversation )

Excuse me? Hang on, one second.

Can he do Inside Politics tomorrow?

I told him he could do it on tape

but we're downtown at 5:00.

Let me talk to them again.

Yes.

I'm Sam Seaborn.

I'm here to see William Bailey.

He's expecting me.

Okay. Hey...

William Bailey. Bill Bailey-- I just got that.

You should definitely mention it to him

'cause he's probably never heard that reference before.

Okay. It's Will.

( as Jimmy Stewart ): Merry Christmas, you ol' Building and Loan.

That's George Bailey.

Well, why don't we get him?

Will? Will?

It's good to see you.

I'll be with you in just a second.

Darren and Sharon, where are you?

This is good, but don't ever

use the words "waiting period."

I thought the point of the statement was

to support a stricter waiting period

for handguns.

The point is to get one.

"Waiting period" sounds like an inconvenience.

Keeping guns away from felons is an issue

of national necessity.

Karen, if you call around

on the state ballot initiatives...

Got it! Hi.

Hi. Sam Seaborn. Sure. Will Bailey.

You want to come inside?

Will, you got like, two minutes.

Yeah.

There's a press conference.

I've been trying to...

study a little.

I met your assistant.

She's funny. She's very...

She's attractive, too.

I hope I'm not being inappropriate.

I have an assistant? Oh, somebody who works here.

Yeah.

First things first.

I bring the condolences of the White House on your loss.

On Mrs. Wilde's loss, I should say.

Everybody's.

And to tell you you ran a strong campaign

for your candidate, and you should be proud.

Thank you.

( clears throat )

Do you know why I came here?

Even money it's not to tell me

I ran a strong campaign, and I should be proud.

It's not.

Though you did, and you should.

And I will once it's over.

It's over.

Nothing I can do about California election law.

The man's name stays on the ballot.

Yes, but you can't keep campaigning without a candidate.

It's a campaign of ideas.

The candidate died.

But not the ideas.

The metaphor alone knocks me down.

Elsie!

Mr. Bailey... ELSIE: Yeah.

I'm getting really cold feet about the bow tie.

I know you like it, but for me it's, like

my whole world becomes about it.

Can we rustle up a real one?

Yeah, and we really have to get in the car.

Mm-hmm.

The campaign's become embarrassing to us.

It's a national joke.

( clears throat )

( pours water )

I'm sorry about that.

I got a press conference.

Sally and the Suffragettes-- what you got?

We did the PSA.

Let me see. Very nice.

But do me a favor-- read this for me.

GIRLS: "It doesn't matter who you vote for."

"Make sure you vote."

I like the sentiment, but the thing is

I think it does matter who you vote for.

What if it said, "No matter who you vote for

make sure you vote?"

What do you think?

GIRLS: Good.

Good.

Will?

Yeah.

I'm here for the President.

I admire the President, Sam. I really do.

But?

I don't work for him.

Let's go.

C.J: All right, everyone.

Thank you very much.

Carol's passing out the playbooks.

Senator, we've put you on criminal justice, and Martin

we've moved you to welfare, if that's okay.

Sure.

There's also some third party

validator information

in there, as well as the names

of the reporters you'll handcuffed to.

If it's not your thing, don't try to wing it.

Call somebody over.

Surrogate plane leaves at 9:00 this evening.

We'll see you tomorrow for pre-game.

C.J., could I see you?

And I need Congresswoman Wyatt

for just a moment.

( clears throat )

Bennett's going to spin for Ritchie.

I could have told you

that was going to happen.

Hang on-- no, wait-- I did.

I find competitiveness so feminine in tall women.

On defense? Yeah, on defense.

What the hell... Don't huckle around

with me right now, Phyllis.

I got a North Carolina Democrat

shilling for Ritchie on defense.

I've got to get a guy. I need a Republican.

This is why I'm talking to you.

You're going to use Albie Duncan.

He'll do it? Yes.

Duncan? Yes.

He will? Yes.

Look at me.

He's not a little bit crazy? Albie Duncan?

Yeah. No, no, no. A little bit.

Toby... He's going to be great.

You'll see to it. Andy?

I'm crazy about the roundness of your head.

Thank you. Andy?

She's nervous.

These things are won and lost in the rooms.

Not this one. You think so?

I know so.

Don't get over-confident.

That ship sailed.

Hey, you want to know something?

C.J. doesn't like running.

Why not?

Believe it or not

'cause it takes time away from helping.

I really like that about her, don't you?

Yeah.

Good.

Then marry me again.

No.

What else you got?

All right.

Let's make it interesting.

Let's add incentive.

The President wins the debate tomorrow night

and you marry me again.

How about the President wins the debate tomorrow night

he gets elected President again?

See, that's the difference between you and me.

You're small-time.

And that's why the twins are going

to need their father around full-time.

'Cause your thing would be a terrible trait.

A terrible family trait to pass on to little...

Beatrice and Bluto.

I'm naming them Beatrice and Bluto now.

I don't care if they're boys or girls.

What do you need?

I need you to back up Albie Duncan.

Is he crazy? No.

No.

No. A little bit.

No.

Look, he's Albie Duncan.

He was in the Eisenhower State Department.

He's brilliant, he's respected.

He's a Republican.

If he's crazy, then I don't want to be sane.

You're not.

Excellent.

I'm out of here.

Read Gabe Tillman's speech to the Stanford Club last night.

You're going to think you wrote it.

Only it was somebody better.

WILL: Someone who will fight

for world-class schools.

Someone who will take medical decisions

away from HMOs and give them to doctors.

Someone who will make polluters pay

for the pollution they cause

right here in Orange County.

And what are your plans for the final week?

Volunteers are going door-to-door

in every neighborhood.

We've got six busloads

of AFT and AFL volunteers coming down.

We've got six get-out-the-vote rallies

in the next six days.

We're in this to win it. Yeah?

Mr. Bailey, Ted Willard

Orange County Post-Gazette.

What happens if that happens?

What happens if your candidate wins?

A special election will be held after no more than 90 days.

Does the party have someone in mind?

We're vetting Wendell Wilkie.

What do you think?

( laughter )

REPORTER: Seriously.

Seriously, one election at a time. Beth?

60% of Orange County residents disagree

with Horton Wilde gun position

which doesn't distinguish it

from many other issues important to voters here.

Is the Wilde campaign out of touch?

60% is six of ten in a focus group.

We change one mind, it's a dead heat.

We change two, it's a landslide.

This campaign's a mechanism of persuasion.

We're not asking for a show of hands.

Uh, yeah.

June Wheeler, San Jose Mercury News.

You're a long way from home.

This is a fun story.

Glad I could help out.

Mr. Bailey, we're all sitting here

pretending this is a regular press conference

and you're very engaging

up there, but your candidate died

so why isn't this all a little preposterous?

Chuck Webb is a seven- term Congressman

who, as Chairman of not one but two

Commerce sub-committees has taken money

from companies he regulates.

He's on the board of the NRA

and once challenged another congressman to a fistfight

on the floor, over an amendment

to make stalkers submit to background checks

before buying AR-15s, AK-57s

Street Sweepers, MAC-10s, MAC-11s.

He's joined protests designed to frighten pregnant women.

What's your point?

There are worse things in the world

than no longer being alive. Yes.

You said earlier this morning

that 47th pays more in taxes...

SAM: How you doing?

WILL: You don't want to be in San Diego right now?

I'd want to be in San Diego.

I'm about to head down there.

I was just at your press conference.

You guys ready?

Yeah.

It's going to be great or a disaster.

Nothing in between.

Good.

So, what is this?

Our contributors gave their money to Horton Wilde.

He's dead now.

I know.

And that's the metaphor.

A standard-bearer for a party that's dead

in every bedroom community in Southern California.

That guy had a point.

Who?

The Post-Gazette. He asked if we had a name.

You want one yet?

Not me. Not right now.

Kay Wilde does.

The widow?

Yeah. She wants a Democrat

to tell us privately that they'll run

if he wins.

Nobody wants it.

Do you believe you're going to need it?

No.

Give her Winston Churchill.

What does it matter?

All right, it matters.

What are you doing?

Sam, I swear to God, I'm trying to win an election.

I think you, of all people

would be able to recognize it when you saw it.

All right.

All right.

I can get on the 405 if I

go straight down there, right?

Fourth light.

Hey, you guys

give 'em hell tomorrow.

All right.

You have more events tonight, right?

Yeah.

Your tie doesn't go.

CARRIE: What are those stripes, 1/16?

They're going to blur.

BOBBY: You like the herringbone?

I think it's going to glow. It is.

This is the navy Heraldic Club.

CARRIE: Any other year

they're broadcasting in HD digital now and with the pixels.

JONATHAN: Does anybody, anybody have digital yet?

BOBBY: Solid silk repp, light mustard.

CARRIE: Not with his coloring.

So it's the charcoal and blue.

Yeah.

It's good. Charlie?

Thanks.

Hey, Charlie.

Hi. You're starting out in the Oval Office, actually.

When do you leave?

Right now.

Good luck.

Tell him.

PRESIDENT: Hey.

Good afternoon, Mr. President.

Sir, they've chosen a tie.

It's charcoal and blue. No, I decided

to go ahead and wear my lucky tie.

You sure? Yeah.

This tie feels pretty lucky to me.

Then it's your lucky tie.

Why don't you get mine and we'll go

to the plane. Yes, sir.

Listen, what do you say I sit in on this meeting

for a few minutes? We've got time.

What do you say you get into pregame.

Let me worry about this

for tonight. All right.

Come here a second.

There's no such thing as too smart.

There's nothing you can do

that's not going to make me proud of you.

Eat 'em up.

Okay.

We'll go next door.

About a week ago we stopped a Qumari ship called the Mastico

on information that it was carrying

about 72 tons of weapons and high explosives.

Hi.

Hello. What do you need?

Ten words. Let me try two on you.

Defense: "I will make

"America's defenses the strongest

in the history of the world."

In the history of the world?

When we say that, are we comparing ourselves

to the Visigoths, adjusted for inflation?

Crime: "Some crimes are so heinous

"so hateful to American values that we

ought to lock the prisoners up and throw away the key."

Please, don't say yes to that one.

Keep working on the plane

and call me every 30 minutes.

You read Gabriel Tillman's speech at the Stanford Club?

No. Governor of California's

got a new writing staff.

Are you going to call every 30 minutes? Yeah.

One more drill on the plane.

We're going to make you proud.

Sit back and enjoy it.

Okay.

You stopped a Qumari ship with what, Leo?

Are we on another crime spree?

Why don't you call me before...?

We stopped them with a warning shot

from the USS Austin. Okay.

An LPD San Antonio-class warship.

The weapons were not on their way to the Qumari.

They were on their way to the Bahji.

If I can't get everyone else on board

with the fact that Qumar is our enemy

surely we can all agree that the International Bahji Cell is.

The weapons were on their way to the Bahji.

And the Austin stopped them.

Qumar's leveraging the Mastico.

We know this.

What do they want?

Yesterday, they want

THAAD missile technology.

Today, they want convicted Bahji operatives

let out of U.S. jails.

It changes.

You're going to have to give them something.

No, I don't have to do anything, Jordon.

I'm right, they're wrong.

They're strong... I'm much stronger.

And what happens tomorrow morning

the President gets on TV and makes his case.

No, we're not ready to do that!

We're nowhere near ready.

What happens? Assuming we get around the Boland Amendment

and any potential violations of domestic law

and separation of powers-- forgetting international outcry

and sticking our Arab allies with

an impossible choice of loyalties--

six to five and pick 'em. You violated

the Geneva convention.

Since when is it...?

Since Francisco Pizarro!

Well, if you're going to throw

the Swiss in my face.

( sighs )

Ali Nissir is at the General Assembly.

How hard would it be

to quietly get him here from New York tonight?

U.N. diplomats are a little under pay scale.

He's a reasonable guy. Is he?

In relation to... Ali Nissir

is what passes for reasonable these days.

How hard would it be

to get him here quietly tonight?

Not hard.

All right.

Why don't you do it

and we'll talk about the next step.

Margaret!

What was that before, with ten words?

It's a debating phrase.

It has to do with making things simpler.

Would you get me

the National Security Council?

Yes, sir.

What's going on?

Okay, as I understand it

it was the last debate of the first campaign.

Is everything all right? No. Moments before

the debate started, the President went out to the alley

to sneak a cigarette, only he lit his necktie on fire.

Yes. And Josh gave him his and he won

and now it's his game tie.

And it got wrecked at the cleaners

by a cleaning solvent we probably shouldn't use

anymore. Did you tell him?

No. But that's a different conversation.

My point is, doesn't this look

an awful lot like the real one?

I don't remember what the real one looked like.

But where did you get a tie on a plane?

The neck of the Deputy Labor Secretary.

But what the hell am I thinking?

You can't pull this kind of fake out.

Now it becomes the bad luck tie.

Bad things will happen in that tie.

No, you've got to face the music and dance alone.

You know what? I think maybe you and the President

are obsessing on the tie.

I'm going to throw this notion out on the stoop

see if the cat licks it up.

I think the President's performance in the debate

had actually very little to do with the tie.

Okay.

You heard me say it was his game tie, right?

Yeah.

Okay.

Mr. Secretary.

Ah, Miss Cregg.

Thanks so much for helping us out.

Yes.

Have you ever seen the Moscow Circus?

No.

Then I really have

no point of reference to describe

what a post debate spin room is like.

( chuckling ): I like you.

You're the one I like.

Thank you very much.

What happens is, you'll be taken into the room

and a volunteer will walk in behind you

holding up a large sign with your name on it

and the press will surround you.

Is that dignified?

Absolutely not.

Don't even hope.

They're going to want you to talk about

why is a Republican spinning for the President.

Nobody's expecting you to say a thing--

not a thing-- that would embarrass the party

to which you've been a loyal and active member

your entire life. Mm-hmm.

He'll be attacked during the debate on China.

He'll have to defend his trade goals

versus human rights violations.

Trade's essential for human rights.

Instead of isolating them

we make them live by the same global trading rules

as everyone else and gain 1.2 billion

consumers for our products and strengthen the forces of reform.

That's it. It's that simple.

No, it's not simple.

It's incredibly complicated.

Sure. McGarry's boy's over there

coming up with greeting cards.

Josh?

He's sitting with me trying to boil down

foreign policy into a ten-word statement.

No, no, he's the ten-word.

And believe me, he hates it.

I've been at the State Department for 30 years

and there is no right answer to these questions

and diplomacy needs all the words

it can get its hands on.

Plus, he's from Connecticut.

Yeah, but the thing is, Ritchie's good at it

and we just need to show we have that club in our bag.

That all. What kind of shot do you get with that club?

According to the best people

who've analyzed specific polling data

there may be a million undecided's out there

who'd come to Bartlet if he displayed

one or two qualities that were more like Ritchie.

And we chose this.

So, for 90 seconds tonight

the mountain will come to Mohammed

and we'll pretend the whole thing never happened.

It's incredibly complicated.

Yes.

The answer I just gave you on trade?

It was perfect.

You know there's a decent chance

I'm full of crap, right?

Sure.

Free trade's essential for human rights.

The end of that sentence is "we hope...

'cause nothing else has worked."

Okay, but I wouldn't say that tonight.

The President knows Chinese political prisoners

are going to be sewing soccer balls with their teeth

whether we sell them cheeseburgers or not

so let's sell them cheeseburgers.

Nor, if it were I, would I say that.

Let me tell you something

young lady, 3,700 years ago

in the Chang dynasty

when a king died, his slaves were beheaded--

the lucky ones.

The unlucky ones were buried alive.

Political repression?

This is progress.

Still, I think the first answer's our winner.

So, can I find an attractive aide

and have her bring you some Schweppe's Bitter Lemon?

No, I'm too steamed to...

Yes, yes, okay.

Good.

Carol? Yeah.

Go to work. Yeah.

So, is he crazy?

Um, yes.

What do you think? Well, if we lose

because of a ten-word answer, then I'm quitting show business.

What do you think?

I think it depends who shows up.

If it's Uncle Fluffy, we've got problems.

If it's the President-- in his last campaign

his last debate

for the last job he'll ever have--

the President shows up

I think it could be a sight to see.

I mean, a sight to see.

What do you think?

( exhales )

I think you're going to enjoy yourself tonight.

Mr. Ambassador.

Mr. McGarry.

You know Jordon Kendall.

I do

but I did not know she worked here.

Special Counsel to the Office of the Chief of Staff.

Mr. Nissir

the President starts his debate in four minutes.

I won't be there, obviously.

And for me, it's like missing my brother's wedding, right?

A big Super Bowl or something.

And I'm mentioning this

to underline the importance

of this conversation.

You have to turn

the boat around.

It's the match being held to the fuse.

I don't know anything about a boat.

You're not getting access to THAAD.

We're not going to release

Bahji operatives

and we're not going to give you $30 billion

to create the Trans-Qumari pipeline.

You have to turn the boat around.

MAN ( over P.A. ): Ladies and gentlemen, please take your seats.

The debate will begin in two and a half minutes.

We'd like to remind you that this is a live broadcast.

In the event of any technical difficulties

we'd ask that everyone remain quietly in their seats

until the issue has been addressed.

Should you need to exit the hall at any time

please be aware that reentry

will not be permitted mid-broadcast.

When the debate comes to a close...

I guess what I don't understand is this.

Have I ever exhibited any evidence

that I'd be mad if a tie got ruined? No, sir.

No, I'm not that guy. This tie was special.

Dry cleaner chemicals don't know that.

STAGE MANAGER: President Bartlet

and Governor Ritchie to the stage, please?

This is their two-minute warning. Josh?

Yeah. Guys, we're going to give them the room now.

Bring it, boss.

Nothing but strikes.

Game on.

( crunching )

I just assumed you wanted to include me.

Good evening from the University of California, San Diego.

I'm Alexander Thompson.

Welcome to the Presidential Debate between President...

Well, it's in the bag.

You have someone here to show off for.

My daughters are here?

Are you kidding?

Ellie's wearing makeup.

Well, I don't approve of that.

You understand she's 27, right?

I don't approve of that, either.

Remember the tie

Josh had to give me at the last minute?

Yeah. I heard that happened.

So, do you think there's any point

in still having the debate?

There was a lot of juice in that tie.

It was like in the last seconds.

Just the energy getting me out on stage...

Well... tough.

CHARLIE: Sir?

Yeah. I got to go.

We'll do mushy later.

So, for now, I just got to say I love you so much

that my head's going to fly off.

But, more importantly, game on, boyfriend.

Let's go.

Okay.

By the way, I feel bad.

I don't think I've done enough

to help you prepare for this debate.

Why are you telling me this now?

( snips )

Just 'cause.

Oh, my God.

You're insane.

Are you...?

You're insane!

Charlie! STAGE MANAGER: 30 seconds, please.

( laughing )

CHARLIE: Josh, we need your tie.

What the hell? Take it off!

What happened?

My wife cut if off with scissors.

Why?

I don't think we have that kind of time, Josh.

15 seconds. No one's done camera tests...

She's right. Let's run some.

STAGE MANAGER: Sir? Right here!

With that, ladies and gentlemen

President Josiah Barlet of New Hampshire

and Governor Robert Ritchie of Florida.

( applause )

Oh!

Oh...

( applause grows louder )

The rules for tonight's debate are as follows:

a candidate will be asked a question

by one of the panelists

and he will have 90 seconds to respond.

His opponent will then have 60 seconds

with which to ask a question and get an answer

though it must be limited to the same topic.

There will be two minutes for closing statements at the end.

By virtue of a coin toss

Governor Ritchie, the first question is for you.

MAN: Governor Ritchie, good evening.

Good evening.

Perhaps the biggest

philosophical difference between you and the President

is over the role of the federal government itself

and whether national problems really have national solutions.

Can you explain your view?

Well, first, let me say good evening

and thank you.

It's a privilege to be here.

My view of this is simple--

we don't need a Federal Department of Education

telling us our children have to learn Esperanto

they have to learn Eskimo poetry.

Eskimo poetry? Ssh!

RITCHIE: Let the states decide.

Let the communities decide on health care, on education

on lower taxes, not higher taxes.

Now, he's going to throw a big word at you--

"unfunded mandate."

He's going to say

if Washington lets the states do it

it's an unfunded mandate.

But what he doesn't like is the federal government losing power.

But I call it the ingenuity of the American people.

President Bartlet, you have 60 seconds

for a question and an answer.

Well, first of all, let's clear up a couple of things.

"Unfunded mandate" is two words, not one "big word."

( murmuring laughter )

( cheering )

There are times when

we're 50 states

and there are times when we're one country

and have national needs.

And the way I know this is that Florida

didn't fight Germany in World War II

or establish civil rights.

You think states should do the governing wall-to-wall.

That's a perfectly valid opinion

but your state of Florida got $12.6 billion

in federal money last year--

from Nebraskans and Virginians

and New Yorkers

and Alaskans with their Eskimo poetry.

12.6 out of a state budget of 50 billion

and I'm supposed to be using this time for a question

so here it is:

can we have it back, please?

Game on!

Oh, my God.

Strike 'em out, throw 'em out.

Anybody want spin?

( all shouting )

It's not going to be Uncle Fluffy.

No.

Mr. President, the next question is for you.

Now I want people to work together in this great country

and that's what I did in Florida

I brought people together.

And that's what I'll do as your President.

End the logjam

end the gridlock

and bring Republicans together with Democrats

'cause Americans

are tired of partisan politics.

( applause )

Mr. President?

Actually, what you've done in Florida

is bring the right together with the far right.

And I don't think Americans are tired of partisan politics

I think they're tired of hearing career politicians

diss partisan politics to get a gig.

I've tried it before, they ain't buying it.

( applause ) That's okay, though.

That's okay, though, because partisan politics is good.

Partisan politics is what the Founders had in mind.

It guarantees

that the minority opinion is heard.

And as a life-long possessor of minority opinions

I appreciate it.

But if you're troubled by it, Governor

you should know in this campaign

you've used the word "liberal"

74 times in one day.

It was yesterday.

( applause and laughter )

I'm not sure I can watch anymore.

No, wait, I can. I can.

Israel launched an unwarranted, illegal, unilateral air strike

against the people of Qumar.

LEO: The air strike

was neither unwarranted

nor was it against the people of Qumar.

It was against two Bahji terrorist camps

after the Israeli Foreign Minister was shot down

by Bahji operatives of, by-the-by

Qumari citizenship, educated

if we're going to use that word, in Qumari madrassas

and financed by fat members of

the Qumari Royal Family

including the Sultan's brother, Abdul ibn Shareef.

Zionist propaganda.

And we lost a cabinet minister as well.

Yes.

And you have the results

of joint U.S., UK and Qumari search and rescue operations

that detail the tragic loss at sea.

Yet your intelligence services seem ready

to tell the Arab world that it was Israel.

A state the sanctions covert assassination.

Of terrorists.

Are you saying Mr. Shareef was one of them?

Excuse me, Mr. Ambassador. Leo?

You got to stop it.

Jordan, I...

You, you got to turn the boat around.

You're going to be at war.

I can't play games with these people anymore.

I can't do it anymore.

Ben Yosef gave me the Medal of David

and ten hours later he was dead.

I can't pretend Qumar's our quirky little ally

whose culture it's important to be tolerant of.

They're not wearing wooden shoes.

I was a soldier. I flew fighters over the DMZ.

It was incredibly dangerous.

What did I do that for?

What am I handing to the next guy and to my kid...

Turn the boat around.

Do that for the next guy, do that for Mallory

and do that for the President, he's busy right now.

PRESIDENT( on TV ): No, the question is

should we focus on 90% of the kids who go to public school

or give parents money from the public school budget

to send their kids to private school

at a time when private schools

are even turning away kids who can afford it?

Public schools are going to be the best schools in the country.

They're going to be cathedrals.

The answer is a change in the way we finance schools.

( applause on TV )

Mr. McGarry, I think we are both men

and we both know there is a charade being enacted here.

I understand Western politics

and I understand President Bartlet

is unable to admit Israel's complicity

in the death of the Sultan's brother

during a close election.

So perhaps we could...

( chuckling )

Did I say something funny?

You think the President's afraid that if he admitted complicity

in Shareef's death he would lose votes

in this country?

To sweep all 50 states

the President would only need to do two things--

blow the Sultan's brains out in Times Square

then walk across the street to Nathan's and buy a hot dog.

Mr. Ambassador

you're going to turn the Mastico around.

You are going to cease and desist

any disinformation campaign

that links the death of Shareef to Israel

and sometime next year

the Sultan is going to propose a Middle East peace plan--

the Qumar plan--

and win the Nobel Peace Prize.

Make your phone call.

I'll be waiting.

He's a little hot under the collar, is he not?

Excuse me.

I have a meeting of

Godless infidels next door.

Governor Ritchie, many economists have stated

that the tax cut, which is the centerpiece

of your economic agenda, could actually

harm the economy.

Is now really the time to cut taxes?

You bet it is.

We need to cut taxes for one reason--

the American people know how to spend their money

better than the Federal government does.

Mr. President, your rebuttal.

There it is.

What the hell... He's got it.

That's the ten-word answer

my staff's been looking for for two weeks.

There it is.

Ten-word answers can kill you in political campaigns.

They're the tip of the sword.

Here's my question--

what are the next ten words of your answer?

Your taxes are too high? So are mine.

Give me the next ten words.

How are we going to do it?

Give me ten after that, I'll drop out of the race right now.

Every once in a while...

every once in a while, there's a day

with an absolute right and an absolute wrong.

But those days almost always include body counts.

Other than that, there aren't very many unnuanced moments

in leading a country that's way too big for ten words.

I'm the President of the United States

not the President of the people who agree with me.

And, by the way, if the left has a problem with that

they should vote for somebody else.

( applause )

We begin closing statements with....

I'm going to make a bold suggestion, but hear me out.

JOSH: What?

Let's not spin.

Let's leave the room.

We'll use the experts, but nobody from the campaign

nobody from the White House

and definitely not us.

JOSH: Why?

There's nothing left to do here and it's inelegant.

It's the punch Ali never gave Foreman

when he was going down.

Absolutely.

JOSH: All right, just a statement.

The President's on his way

to Washington to get back to work.

And there'll be a lot of drinking on the plane.

I don't think that should be included in the statement.

No, good heads up.

( reporters shouting )

Trade with China is essential for human rights.

By engaging China and making them live

by the same global trading rules as everyone else

we gain 1.2 billion consumers for our products

and we strengthen the forces of freedom

and the President knows this.

C.J.: Mr. Secretary?

Uh, I'm sorry, Miss Cregg, do you need me?

I have a question.

Isn't there a decent chance you and the President are wrong?

I'm sorry?

I mean, doesn't he

also know that Chinese political prisoners

are going to be sewing soccer balls together with their teeth

whether we sell them cheeseburgers or not?

I mention this because the President

just reminded us that complexity isn't a vice.

You're the one I like, too.

THOMPSON: That concludes this debate.

Thank you very much

and good night.

( applause )

It's over.

You'll be back.

( dance music playing )

SAM: Hey.

Tammy, I'd like to buy this old guy a beer.

He had a good night.

Okay.

Thank you.

How does it feel?

Winning?

Yeah.

Good.

I thought he was going to

have to fall all over himself trying to be genial.

So did we.

But then we were convinced by polling

that he was going to be seen as arrogant

no matter what performance he gave in the debate.

And then that morning at 3:10 my phone rings

it's Toby Ziegler, he says, "Don't you get it, it's a gift

"that they're irreversibly convinced that he's arrogant

'cause now he can be."

If your guy's seen that way

you might as well knock some bodies down with it.

You don't fly with the team?

Not this time.

I had to return the rental car

that's why I was glad to get together again.

One-way charges

on rental cars are insane.

I think if everybody drove one way

it'd all work out in the wash.

What do you think?

I think every rental car in America would be

at the Grand Canyon and the Tropicana.

Let the campaign fold, man.

Stay out of the news this week.

I'm sorry.

Thank you.

TAMMY: Sure.

You grow up in California politics?

No, I grew up

in Brussels.

Why?

Several members of my family worked at the NATO headquarters.

You're not Thomas Bailey's grandson by any chance, are you?

I'm his son.

I'm the youngest.

Hmm.

That had to have been a nice career day.

"Hello, I'm Will's dad.

I'm Supreme Commander, NATO Allied Forces."

Not a lot of kids took your lunch money, right?

No.

It's embarrassing, Will.

There's a campaign being waged here

and I'm not embarrassed by it.

There are things being talked about

things you believe in

things the White House believes in

and they're only going to be talked about

in a blowout and you know it.

And you know there's no glory in it

and you still come here twice and tell me my guy's a joke.

That my people are embarrassing.

How many Democrats

told you to get out of the way for John Hoynes?

The bandwagon was in Texas and the boys were in Nashua.

How many Democrats told you it was embarrassing?

I'm not kidding, Sam, how many?

All of them. That's right.

You're the one who wrote Tillman's speech.

No, I'm not.

His speech to the Stanford Club-- yes, you are.

I don't even... I don't know what you're...

That's fine.

But you and I

both know different, right?

So let's have some respect for that.

You've ghosted for Senators, movie stars

I think the King of Belgium one time.

Do you say anything?

No. Why?

Speech writers don't do that.

Yeah.

Okay, I'll just say

it was very good and a number of people think so

and leave it there.

Except to say

that the jokes worked, too.

I don't know who wrote them, maybe the King of Belgium

but I know it wasn't the Governor of California.

You see that girl over there?

That's the one I thought was your assistant.

He name is Elsie Snuffin.

( chuckles )

What a great name.

Isn't it?

Why'd you tell me that?

She wrote the jokes.

Anyway, you should know about her.

Where'd you find her?

She was the 11th man

on a ten-man writing staff for a sitcom.

They weren't using her stuff

'cause it was smarter than the show

but she didn't know that.

All right.

Thank you for the beer

and for the lively conversation.

Listen...

if you can't find a Democrat, tell Mrs. Wilde...

tell Kay that I'll do it.

Are you kidding?

Tell her I'm a magna cum laude graduate of Princeton

and editor of the Duke Law Review.

Tell her that I've worked for congressmen

and the D-triple-C.

I have seven years at Gage Whitney

and for the last four I've served as

Deputy Communications Director and Senior Counsel.

Tell her I grew up two streets from here.

I'm not going to ask anyone else.

This is for election night, if you win.

I read about it before then

I'm going to deny it and we're through.

Excuse me.

( cheering )

Listen.

We love you!

Thank you.

Listen, I've got to get to a bed but I just wanted to say

thanks for the hard work.

One more week.

You're making a lot of people proud.

And if you get a chance, read the text

of the Governor's speech to the Stanford Club.

It's going to give you chills.

And the jokes, I think, are particularly funny.

Anyway...

Good luck.

( cheering )

Good night, Will.

Don't forget your necktie.

Keep it.