Original subtitles

Previously on The West Wing:

I can't believe how many times I get asked

"What would be a win in the debates?"

If we don't get elected, I promise you

President Ritchie is going to have a lot less sympathy

for your agenda.

You're what my friends call a superior son of a bitch

and you can't be trusted.

Wait till the debates.

Election's in six weeks, Mr. President.

Where are we in the vote? Well, to be honest, we're slipping a little bit.

Are you taking this personally?

We should have a great debate, Rob.

We owe it to everyone.

I know how Ritchie's going to win this election.

Affirmative action and quotas are about two different things.

Affirmative action is about providing people an opportunity

they might not otherwise get.

I don't know you can talk about providing opportunity

while at the same time supporting racial profiling.

What the hell is...? I don't support racial profiling.

Your nominee for Attorney General did.

Can you tell us why you nominated him?

"Why?"

Yes.

'Cause bite me, that's why.

C.J.: It's a legitimate question.

It's been almost four years, Sam.

How long do you want to say, "I told you so"?

JOSH: He wasn't saying

"I told you so," sir.

We need an answer on Rooker.

What's wrong with "bite me"?

I think we'd lose.

Not in New Jersey.

C.J.: "It's never been shown

racial profiling works, and I'm against it."

That answer's pretty simple, isn't it?

We can make it more complicated.

A lot people in...

I'm sorry, Mr. President, do you mind if I...? No.

I think she was talking to me, there, Dexter. What?

A lot of people in law enforcement believe

profiling helps them do their job better.

Not everyone's against it.

I'm against it.

And so are the voters

but I think what...

How you doing there, Joey?

Kippy? Kenny.

Okay. I think, Mr. President

that what Congresswoman Wyatt was saying is

that if we can figure out a way

to make this answer about the drug war

then we can talk about successes.

Is that what you were saying, Andy?

Yes, sir. Yeah, but, Ritchie

will bring it back to Rooker and the fact that you don't know

what your position on racial profiling... I do know what my position is.

TOBY: We're losing the question.

Fundamentally, it's what was the story with Rooker?

C.J.: We gave him our full support until it became clear

that an increasingly divided Congress was

going to shoot down our nominee.

We didn't give him our full support.

We withdrew the nomination.

Why not blow past the nomination fight and give a strong...?

"Blow past the nomination"? ...and give a strong

unambiguous statement in support of law enforcement?

'Cause that's not going to be the question.

Nobody's for stronger, fairer law enforcement.

That's not going to be the question.

Why not just say we screwed up?

"Mr. Rooker's a devoted crime fighter--

"we had our differences--

but on this, all Americans can agree..."

Excuse me.

Yes, sir.

Were you doing me just then?

I was offering an answer...

You were doing me.

I may have slipped into it, yes.

Anybody else do a pretty good Bartlet?

It's talent night here at debate camp.

Anybody want to do a little skit?

( whispering )

( clearing throat )

Apparently, eight Israeli Thunder fighters--

these are also known as American-made

Boeing F-15E Strike Eagles--

have hit two terrorist bases in the north and south of Qumar

and while no Qumari government personnel

or institutions were destroyed

Qumar, of course, considers an attack on its soil

to be an act of war.

So, we are, as always

one bad bottle of tequila away from all-out war in West Asia.

Would you like to take this one or shall I?

Why don't you get this one and I'll get... the next one?

Okay.

We've got a secure room.

I agreed to be locked up with you people for 48 hours.

How much time do I have left?

LEO: 47 hours, 41 minutes.

LEO: Hutchinson and Berryhill are hooked in

along with Nancy and Fitzwallace

and we're still getting Peter from State.

Defense Condition 3 for the bases in Qumar is what?

Mike.

It deploys the Independence to the Gulf.

They've got 75 aircraft.

PRESIDENT: What's happening on the ground?

MAN: AC Striker recon says 30,000 troops

are massing at the Syrian border.

That was fast.

LEO: They're not there yet.

We're getting MILSAT confirmation.

MAN 2: Mr. President, you have

Secretaries Hutchinson and Berryhill

Director Kato, Chairman Fitzwallace and Dr. McNally.

All right.

Well, we've got ourselves a Marx Brothers movie.

( over phone ): Sir, it's Ken.

On your order, we'll put CTU on high alert.

You have the order. Oh, Fitz?

FITZWALLACE: Yes, sir?

How you doing? Fine. Thank you, sir.

And you?

Well, we've made camp in North Carolina for prep.

So, I've been thinking a lot about killing myself

but let me ask you something-- besides Qumar

Iran, Syria, Hezbollah, they've all got short

and medium range missiles.

If Israel feels threatened by them, what happens?

They launch a preemptive strike.

LEO: Yeah, but before that happens

Qumar shows its teeth, right?

Yeah. Yeah, so what happens then?

They'll want something from us in exchange for standing down.

Well, for the moment, they haven't stood up

but in the meantime, let's try

and think of something we can give them when they do.

That's what we should do in the meantime?

Leo... We should think of something we can give them?

Honey, if we're going to have this fight

can we not do it in front of the Joint Chiefs?

It just scares the hell out of them.

Yes.

Mr. Chairman, would you put our bases in Qumar

at Defense Condition 3

and put the U.S. Military at DefCon 4?

Yes, sir.

Thank you.

Andy.

Yeah?

A couple of things.

I need you to look at a couple of answers

on defense readiness.

I-I-I need concrete examples

of waste in Pentagon procurement.

We need two more members of the I.R.C. for post spin.

I need you to fill out this marriage license

and paperwork for a joint checking account

and review this 60-second answer on Rwanda.

Okay, okay, okay, um... under no circumstances...

and sure.

See, by my count, you said, "Under no circumstances"

to the I.R.C. post spin, and, "Sure"...

I said, "Under no circumstances," to marrying you again.

May I ask why?

I have the unique experience

of having done it once before.

Yes, well...

I have to get to the things you gave me.

A person's running for president.

Hey.

Hey.

That was good, Sam.

Stay up in his face. Don't back off.

You want to shoot for two minutes?

There's a hoop in back.

Yeah...

He's right. Don't back off. Yeah.

What's going on with you and Andy?

Nothing. I think you're wrong.

I'm not.

I think you're getting back together.

I'm not. But you want to.

Yes. I think... Wait. What?

See, sometimes, if I slam on the brakes, you just run right past.

Okay, fill us in on everything you got so far

between the two of you.

Yeah, that's what's going to happen right now.

Well, if you do that...

Are you going stay up in his face?

Did you hear me say I would?

No, actually. Well, I will.

Listen, let me tell you something.

What I said wasn't personal.

Who said it was?

He did.

He said it's been four years

and when am I going to stop saying, "I told you so"

and that wasn't... I was...

Let's say we were new.

We made mistakes.

We'd just gotten to...

We weren't even in the White House

when we heard Rooker...

It was, like, January 5.

It was the 15.

It was January 15.

JOSH: How do you remember?

TOBY: I just do.

I think Cornell Rooker's going to be the Attorney General.

How about that?

What do you mean?

He's on the phone with the Governor right now.

We're settled on that?

Yes, it's Cornell Rooker, if that's

what he's saying on the phone, if he's saying yes.

If he's saying no, then it's going to be somebody else.

Well analyzed.

I thought there might be

more conversations about the more conservative tendencies.

Like privacy? Yeah.

C.J.: That's what...

He's a Democrat with a record

the right wing can't complain about.

Excuse me, Josh. I'm looking for Donna.

Donna's at the White House, as a matter of fact.

She's at the White House? Yeah.

She knows the old tenants are still there, right?

She's being taken out to lunch by her predecessor

a guy who's the assistant to Mack McConnell

assistant to the Deputy C.O.S.

Nobody did that with me.

Anybody do that with you?

Sam...

JOSH: He's who judiciary calls

when they want to put a stamp on, and yes

he's got a record conservatives can't complain about.

Guys, our opponent has

a record conservatives can't complain about, but he lost.

Excuse me. Mr. Ziegler?

Yeah?

Congresswoman Wyatt is here in person

without an appointment and she's asking to see you.

Yeah.

Congresswoman Wyatt's also Mrs. Ziegler.

Just, uh... I'll be right out.

Yes, sir.

You think we're going to get hit from the left?

I do. Look... JOSH: I don't.

He gets a honeymoon. Let's take advantage.

You're missing my point.

JOSH: What? I think he'll be confirmed.

No problem. We might even get the honeymoon from the left.

But?

I'm not sure he's the right guy.

( footsteps approach )

We got Rooker.

Donna?

Yeah.

Jeff Johnson.

Come on back.

This was incredibly nice of you.

Well, the guy before did it for me. So who knows?

Maybe you'll do it for someone else in four years.

Eight years.

( chuckling ): Whatever.

Is this where I'll be working?

Who knows?

The White House reinvents itself

with every administration.

It's never the same.

There are some things that I can tell you

that won't be in your briefing.

You want to hear them? Sure.

Never wear your badge off campus.

It's like wearing a bull's-eye.

Don't let your kids get the mail out of the mailbox.

You don't know what separatist just sent you a chain letter.

I don't have kids.

Good, because there are days you're going to need

to be here at 8:00, maybe even earlier

and not go home till 6:00 or 7:00.

What else?

The iodine tablets.

Some people take them; some people don't.

I did, but you can ask your doctor.

What's the iodine for?

Uh, it protects your thyroid from the radiation.

And... why is there radiation?

There's an XW-9 warhead

in a silo 93 feet below the Eisenhower putting green.

They say it's not enough radiation

to hurt you, but do you really want

to take chances with something like that?

Really? Wow. God, no.

Yeah. Listen, before I forget

I've got to hit you up for a favor.

My girlfriend's a stringer for a teen magazine.

It's called 21.

Sure. With all the young people coming in

they want to do a story and you've been visible

and with the way you look...

any chance she could get

a ten-minute phoner?

No problem. You can give her the number.

Great. You ready for lunch? Yeah.

Where to?

You tell me.

I don't know anything.

Okay.

Everything all right?

Yeah. I couldn't get you on the phone

and I was on the tenth floor.

They need another sample.

Why?

There was a blackout in Alexandria

and the incubator was without power for 45 minutes.

Can we maybe talk about this over here?

A blackout in Alexandria?

It's a cab ride.

Just go over.

You're in, you're out, no sweat.

No, it's not no sweat.

In fact, it's a little bit gruesome.

It's gruesome?

It's something.

You get off on the fourth floor

which is clearly marked

for all the other passengers on the elevator to read

that it's the Fertility Clinic

and you're trying to show with your body language

that it's not you

and that's impossible to show with body language.

An 84-year-old Welsh nurse hands you a brown paper bag

with a cup and a video

and points the way toward a room.

I won't even tell you the name they have for this room.

What's the name? I won't tell you.

Why? It's not a good out-loud word.

You take the longest walk of your life

back to the Welsh nurse

who takes the cup out of the bag

and says, "Very nice."

Honey, I need you to do this now.

There's a timing thing.

Can it possibly wait till next week...?

I thought maybe today I could...

It's January 15, Andy.

I can't have a baby today.

He's getting sworn in in five days.

I'm not saying never--

I'm saying can we... wait five days?

Sure.

How's it going?

Rooker's going to be the AG.

KENNY: Mr. Ziegler!

Yeah? I'm sorry for shouting.

Joey says she's ready.

I'm sorry?

Electoral Math.

( grunts )

Was it 'cause we... burned it down?

SAM: I was going to say.

Okay, let's start.

I'm taking Ohio out of the red and putting it back in play.

How much money is it going to take to win there?

JOEY: A lot more than we have there.

We're on the air in 18 of the top 25.

There's no new money to spend on this.

We're going to have to move it...

I'm going to stop you there.

Joey, I-I can't go to him with it.

Let me go to him with it. Let Bruno.

No, I'm with Toby.

I don't think you understand

how the President feels about his home state.

He's a New Hampshire Bartlet.

It's been home for centuries.

He's a Democrat elected to the statehouse with close to 60%

and the fact that the state's in play is

a real embarrassment for him.

He doesn't want to campaign there

because that's embarrassing, too, but we...

C.J., I'm trying to tell you it's not in play anymore.

Joey, no kidding-- if you asked the president

which he'd rather win, New Hampshire or the election

he'd have to think before he answered.

Put a pin in it; we'll come back after prep. Thanks.

MAN: President Bartlet, the next question's to you.

Governor Ritchie contends there's a crisis

in the American family

that parents aren't spending enough time with their kids.

JOSH: We're trying this again. Sorry. Yeah.

And that your solution is essentially

to have government raise children.

Well, that's an extraordinary

and unsurprisingly dumb interpretation of what it is

my administration's trying to accomplish.

( applause and cheers )

It's hard enough to raise kids today

with help from family leave, subsidized day care, preschool--

we need more of it, not less.

SAM: The government can't

raise kids, Mr. President-- parents have to.

I have three grown daughters, Governor.

You really want to tell me how I should raise my family?

You're really comfortable with that?

There it is. You want to tell other American

fathers and mothers what they're doing wrong?

Sir, I did not say...

I didn't think you did.

So why don't we stick

to what it is government can do--

which is collect money and distribute it--

and stop wasting time by sentimentalizing families?

Whoa, whoa, whoa. That's not good, sir.

SAM: We just lost the vote of every

stay-at-home mom and their husbands who are henpecked.

Who are you now?

Sir... I like the aggressive answer; it's just right.

We're letting Ritchie put him on the opposite side of values.

Lead with "I'm the proud father of... "

PRESIDENT: That wasn't the question, Larry.

The question was, "What do I have against families?"

Josh... and the answer is I have nothing against them at all.

They're simply not mentioned in the Executive Powers section.

Larry's right, we have to put him on the right side of this.

He is on the right side of this

but we need help with the answer.

You're asking me to do that which I don't want to do, right?

Yes. Okay.

I have a press briefing.

( clears throat ): Good afternoon.

Today is January 22.

Let me brief you on the President's morning schedule.

He started with... How's that?

CAROL: Good.

Yeah? Yeah.

You sure? Yeah.

You don't care.

No.

Okay. I've got boxes to unload.

I'm going to stay here and practice.

No, David, the President was very clear about that.

Mark, then Katie.

Mark, Katie, Jessie, Phil, Steve, Betsy, Julie, Julie

Julia, Kevin, Paul, Tom, Sondra, Suzanne...

( sighs )

Mike, Danny... Elizabeth.

18th seat.

18 you can vote... "vote" sounds like "moat"...

which is a trench-- Trent.

Excuse me, C.J.

Yeah?

Bill Stark.

I'm with Kingspeak.

We're a magazine that reaches

over 600,000 Christian Evangelicals.

I'm sorry I missed your first briefing.

I heard you did well.

I can do better.

I wanted tell you

that on December 10

all 600,000 will be praying for you.

Really?

That's right.

I don't understand.

Well, once a year, we identify

the 365 most influential people in media

and we assign each of them a calendar day

and we pray for them.

I really don't know what to say in response

to that sort of kindness.

Well...

the Administration will reconsider

their position on some issues?

Like what?

Um... school prayer?

I think the President's pretty much made up his mind.

Millions of Americans want it.

There are a lot of votes there.

Yes, but we got as many as we needed for now, so...

Just wanted to say hi.

I'll see you around.

Oh, by the way...

just so you don't think we disagree on everything

I think Cornell Rooker is terrific.

Really? Back in the day

we served on a city council together.

First African-American man I've ever heard make sense

on racial profiling.

MRS. LANDINGHAM: Look at this.

Leonardo DaVinci.

"Madonna and Child with a Pomegranate."

It's nice.

( gasps ): Here's Botticelli.

"Adoration of the Magi."

What are we doing right now?

We're choosing pictures from the collection

at the National Gallery.

They'll loan stuff?

Anything you want in the National Gallery

or the whole Smithsonian.

Really? Yeah.

I want Apollo 11.

Well, you can't have that. Then don't bother me.

Sir... I'm meeting with the Leadership

I'm signing six Executive Orders I don't yet understand...

( knocking on door )

Mr. President.

God, I thought that was a closet.

It's my office.

All right, the room's got four doors, it's huge.

I want to run through these Executive Orders.

Do you understand them?

Not quite yet.

C.J., what are you doing?

I'm sorry, sir. I just wanted to see Leo.

He's standing right there.

Yeah.

Would you get your ass in here?

Could everyone stop acting strange?

What's up?

A reporter for a conservative Christian magazine

introduced himself

and happened to mention

that he served on a city council with Rooker

which is true-- it was in Miami.

Yeah.

The reporter said that

he liked Rooker's position on racial profiling.

That's strange.

No, it's not. We found the transcript.

"I'm not saying it should be active policy

"but there is no question in my mind that in certain situations

racial profiling can be helpful to law..."

Law enforcement?

Yeah.

It's our second day, how do you think it's going so far?

We'll get into it.

Yes.

AMY: And down the stretch, here she comes.

Here comes Gardner.

She's going to take the yellow jersey

past the picturesque farms and hillsides

and Champs d' Leamp and the white cliffs of Dover.

Where do the Americans find this kind of spirit?

( cell phone beeps ) Her cell phone's ringing now-- probably a sponsor.

Hello?

It's Josh.

Hello.

You're breathing very hard.

I'm riding.

Then what are you doing?

Later?

Yeah.

I'm having dinner

with Peter Harlow.

How's Peter's wife?

( chuckles )

They're separated.

Yes, I know.

What do you need?

How do we stand strong

for the modern family with all its quirks

and not seem like we're dissing everyone born before 1962?

By doing it.

Can I call you in a couple hours?

You'll think about it? Yeah.

Thank you.

( mumbling )

You're going to this meeting?

Yeah.

WW-160, you been able to find it?

I don't even know where I am right now.

I'm looking on this side again.

Do you mind if I talk to you while we walk?

Well, we may as well get used to having meetings

in the corridors from now on.

It may be our only hope.

I now know why they made the Oval Office a special shape.

Six new editorials--

NAACP, the Urban League, La Raza...

NAACP doesn't want to see a black Attorney General?

No, I think they do, but they also stand

for the ones who get pulled over for having too nice a car.

Thank you.

Intergovernmental's also...

I'm talking to Intergovernmental.

Does anybody know where WW-160 is?!

Hi.

I'm Josh Lyman.

You all work for me.

Does anybody know where WW-160 is?

I haven't seen it.

That one hasn't seen it.

She's... you know, she's keeping an eye out, though.

I don't think he's going to be confirmed.

I think the first thing that's going to happen to us is

we're going to lose a confirmation battle...

spend the next four years with two outs and a full count.

If we pull him out now

it's a story for a day and a half

until we announce the next guy.

If we wait a week...

This is the guy.

This is the story.

Good.

'Cause you know why?

'Cause hubris always wins in the end.

The Greeks taught us that.

( whistles )

We were looking for West Wing 160.

Yeah, I think it's in the Kremlin.

Let's just meet here.

Leo, this is a strong, deserving nominee.

Sam, it's not hubris.

He should be Attorney General.

Yeah, but he's not going to be.

So, let's take it from there.

No, the President doesn't want to give it up yet.

Let's line up people for I.P., the mornings...

Cornell Rooker has an exceptional record

as a U.S. Attorney...

a leader in fighting employment discrimination

was college chair of...

He's tough on crime; he's fair on justice--

that's the line-- say that.

Do not say that.

What the hell is that?

"He's tough on crime;

he's fair on justice"...

sings a song and has a mustache?

What is that supposed to...

And Toby's gone to the zoo.

Yeah, I think we may have killed these two guys

with Inauguration.

SAM: Leo, I beseech you-- let me take a pass

at some remarks the President can make

withdrawing the nomination.

We're going to do it anyway. Let's do it now.

JOSH: Here it is.

If you take a thorough look at Cornell Rooker's record, you'll see...

Yes. ...he's fought for justice

his entire career.

If you take a thorough look at Cornell Rooker's record

you'll see he's fought for justice his entire career.

I don't want to be able to turn my head tomorrow

without reading that quote.

Anything else?

No.

Thank you.

Hey... I don't think there is a WW-160.

Yeah, hey. How do you do?

What?

Guess what I have here.

It's a copy of 21 magazine.

It's for Generation Now!

Is my thing in there?

Yuh-huh.

What?

( clears throat )

"In sleek Selia Yang slacks and a classic DKNY button-down

"she's not afraid to bring a note of

'Let's do drinks after work' to the office."

That's totally untrue, but I do like the sound of it.

"But much as we love her style, we worry

about her inexperience and Bambiesque naiveté.

"'There's so much to learn,' says Moss.

"'I didn't even know there was a nuclear missile silo

under this place.'"

I didn't.

There's not!

There is!

Who told you that?

Jeff, when I met him for lunch.

Let me take a guess at something.

Jeff set you up with the reporter, right?

His girlfriend.

You probably didn't even bring this up, right?

The girlfriend led you there?

Bambiesque?

As does pertain to Bambi.

There's a reason why we keep these missile silos

way out the hell in the middle of nowhere.

It's 'cause they're working with some pretty nasty materials.

Also, there's not much point

in keeping nuclear secrets from China

when all they have to do is take the free tour.

Did it really sound right to you when he said it?

What'd you think, we go to war

and Hercules rockets come flying out of the Rose Garden?

The Eisenhower Putting Green.

( laughing ): Oh, my God!

I'm too stupid to live!

This is just like when I played the lead

in Li'l Abner in eighth grade

and rehearsals are going fine.

All of a sudden, there's sets and lights and costumes

and everyone's tripping all over themselves except me.

You guys all walked into the building

and got freaked by the lights.

I walked in and, you know, something else happened.

Well, we can't all be you.

You can all try a little harder to be.

For sure I'm not taking the iodine tablets.

I should be sitting at my desk right now.

Do I have a desk yet?

No.

Okay.

Then I'll just... walk around some more...

see if I can get into a pickup meeting.

CHARLIE: Toby.

Yeah?

You going to dinner?

Yeah.

I'm a bad friend.

I should've been there for you.

Okay, but I-I don't know what you're talking about.

Josh and Sam talked to me. I'm on board.

With what? Team Toby.

See, I lent voice to thought and that was my mistake.

If you want to marry Andy, then, damn it, so do I...

Okay. ...want that, you know, to happen for you.

I get it.

Do you? Because this is about love.

I think you have a different motivation.

Laughs?

Yes.

Sure, but also as much love, really

as I think either one of us are comfortable with.

Yes.

Well, let me start here: Have you asked her?

Yes.

And she said no?

This is excruciating.

You're going to give me your white blood cells...

not all of them, but as many as I want.

Why?

Because you love me.

No, wha... uh...

what's the matter with your white blood cells?

Nothing. It's my immune system.

It's not... recognizing that a pregnancy isn't

something it's supposed to attack.

So, they draw blood from you...

like a rabid dog

clean it, thank goodness...

and give me injections of your blood cells

to build up tolerance.

You know how you're always saying

you wish people were more like you?

Well...

The guy's had a lot of success.

You don't have to sell me.

It sounds like something we should try...

but let me ask you something, and bear in mind

that I'm happy, I'm... eager

to go to as many doctors as there are...

but should we talk about a stop date?

You mean talk about adoption?

Yeah, we can talk about adopting.

You meant a stop date stop date.

I meant adopting.

I meant surrogacy, and yes, I love kids

and I want them and I don't have to have them.

I want them.

And I'm there.

Okay.

You're getting killed on Rooker.

No kidding.

Hey, C.J.

Is he in there?

Yeah. Is anything wrong?

No...

There's a problem.

I just said a stupid thing.

What's the problem?

Well, I did a one-on-one with Danny Concannon a few days ago on Rooker.

Did you say, "If you take a thorough look

at Cornell Rooker's record..."?

Yes, as a matter of fact.

And? He did.

Oh, man.

A D.U.I. got fixed in law school.

He doesn't want to write about the D.U.I.

as much as he wants to write

about us being the Capital Clampetts.

What was the stupid thing that you said?

Doesn't matter. Let's fix this.

* Gaudeamus igitur *

* Iuvenes dum sumus *

* Post iucundam iuventutem *

* Post molestam senectutem *

* Nos habebit humus *

* Nos habebit humus. *

Yeah! ( applause )

What was that?

It's an old camp song.

What's it mean?

Let us be merry, therefore

while we are young men.

After the joys of youth, after the pains

of old age, the ground will have us.

It's true.

How can I get you on board with me?

New Hampshire?

Yeah.

By coming out with me.

On what? The President's got to spend a little more time

in the congressional districts we're not going to win.

Why would he spend any time in districts...?

SAM: To build Democratic momentum

in the very places we traditionally tank.

We're running comically weak candidates in these districts.

The Tennessee 7th, Horton Wilde in Orange County

he's in the hospital with his fourth heart attack.

Who the hell knows when he's going

to resume a campaign schedule?

I can't make a pitch

about putting resources in the right places

and then advocate sending the President to districts

where the last Democrat won

by railing against Abraham Lincoln.

That's a reasonable point.

Will you help me?

Yeah.

( phone rings through receiver)

I have to say you look good.

( cell phone rings )

Thank you.

I don't remember you looking this good.

Is something different?

( ringing continuing )

I don't know, the autumnal equinox

is usually good to me, but...

( ringing continues )

I think that's your cell phone that's been ringing.

( ringing continuing )

Yes. Excuse me.

Hello?

JOSH: Hey.

Hello.

You on your date?

Well, I wouldn't call it that.

Listen, you probably don't want

to let him know it's me on the phone.

It's too intimidating.

It's like going out with Cher and Sonny calls.

How can I help you?

Any thoughts?

Yes. Ritchie's right.

There's a family crisis in America.

So, a radical feminist is saying

women should stay home with the kids?

First of all, I don't think I'm a radical anything.

Second of all, who said women should stay home?

And third is, it's the capitalist treadmill

that encourages scheduling quality time on a Palm Pilot.

That's not how they do it in Scandinavia.

But everybody kills themself in Scandinavia.

That's hard to deny.

We need to defend our accomplishments

on work and family

many of which you pushed for

and show that we get

what working parents are going through.

Can you help us?

Yes.

I'll call back.

What would be a really bad time?

Oh, really anytime.

Outstanding.

DONNA: Josh?

Yeah? There's a Mr. Michael Gordon

here to see you.

Does he have an appointment?

( whispering ): No, he's... with the NSA.

NSA?

Yeah. Send him in.

Mr. Lyman?

Yeah. Michael Gordon.

Donna says you're with the NSA?

I'm not here to bug your office.

Yeah, but you wouldn't tell me if you were, right?

It's about Miss Moss, as a matter of fact.

What's the trouble? Probably nothing

but a few days ago, a teen magazine published a short interview with her.

Yeah, look, the old guys were playing a joke on her.

I realize it's not a good idea for a White House staffer

to be saying there's a missile in the capital.

Well, the problem is, joke or not, she hit a little close to home for our comfort.

What do you mean?

Obviously, I can't elaborate.

"She hit a little close to home"?

Yeah.

You trying to tell me...?

Mr. Lyman, you don't have code-word clearance.

We need to stay professional.

Yeah.

How long has she been working for you?

( snickering ): Listen, this...

this is silly.

She was just duped.

It was a joke.

How long has she been working for you?

This is a giant misunderstanding. Mr. Lyman...

I would vouch for Donna with my life.

She doesn't know about missiles.

She's from Wisconsin.

I'm simply asking how long she's been working for you.

No, look, I'm sorry.

I'm sure your intentions are good and...

this is just routine, but...

it could get tricky

and I'd like to have her talk to somebody.

A lawyer?

Yeah.

Suit yourself, but until this is straightened out

I'm going to need to revoke her credentials.

She's my assistant.

For how long?

As long as it takes.

All right.

Thank you.

Donna...

What was that?

You got to go home.

Why?

That idiot interview you did popped a red flag at NSA.

They're revoking your credentials

till it's straightened out.

( sighing )

I don't believe it.

I'm talking to someone in Cochran's office.

What am I supposed to do?

Take a few days off.

Go home. Go to the beach.

It's February 2.

Well, then, I wouldn't go to the beach.

You've got a meeting in Leo's office.

( sighing ): Don't worry about this.

I'm going to fix this.

( talking indistinctly )

The President's not going

to be available for a little bit.

Why? Fitzwallace just got here.

Any idea what's going on?

All right, listen up.

( talking stops )

We still have an open question

on family.

We still have an open question on Rooker

missile defense and vouchers.

We start dress rehearsals tomorrow at 3:00.

Let's split up in our groups.

I really want vouchers by 10:00

missile defense by 11:00.

Anyone not doing anything at midnight-- Team Toby

my cabin.

Good.

JOSH: Break's over.

MILITARY AIDE: Ten-hut.

PRESIDENT: Thanks for coming down.

Yes, sir.

What's going on?

The Mastico, a 200-foot

Qumari cargo ship is heading east

in the Mediterranean, toward Lebanon.

Is it carrying Qumari arts and crafts?

No, it's carrying 72 tons of weapons and explosives

including a Multiple Launch Rocket System.

This fires 12 warheads with 644 M-77 munitions.

It does it in 60 seconds.

The global positioning device

on the MLRS is how we found the ship.

This is the message in a bottle

we've been waiting for.

They turn around the ship in exchange for what?

Access to the High Altitude Area Defense program.

LEO: That's okay...

'cause that's just the most sophisticated

anti-ballistic missile system in history short of Star Wars.

What else?

They're arming the Bahji, Leo

two training camps of which the Israelis just attacked.

I've got to turn around the boat-- tonight.

Tomorrow we'll worry about tomorrow.

Well, we can invite the sultan over for a mixer.

Look... A nice mixer.

Punch, sack races, whatnot...

Why are we playing games with these people?

They refuse to catch and prosecute the Bahji.

In fact, they support them

in a variety of ways.

Why isn't that the end of the conversation?

"We'll worry about tomorrow tomorrow."

We said that yesterday.

Fitz?

I couldn't agree with Leo more.

What about Nancy?

Yeah.

What's available from the Sixth Fleet?

One Forward Unit east of the Mastico--

the 26th Marine Expeditionary.

Stop the boat.

Don't shoot it unless I tell you to.

Yes, sir.

This doesn't feel good, does it?

It's quiet, you know. It's too quiet.

C.J.... Yeah.

( door opens and closes )

The President has withdrawn Rooker's name from nomination.

( sighing ): Well, at least it's behind us.

Not quite.

Our report card for our first two weeks in office.

The President's approval has gone

from 61% during the transition--

when, I suppose, there's nothing to approve--

to 49% once there was.

47% see him as a strong leader--

a result of bungling the Rooker nomination--

and African-American support--

which basically elected him-- has gone from 92 to 78.

Finally, if the election were held today

the President would be chairman of the Economics Department

at Phillips Andover Academy.

Can anyone report anything good?

600,000 evangelicals are praying for me...

so... we have that going for us.

What the hell are you talking about?

It's true-- a guy gave me this card: "365 People in Media."

SAM: Who are the others?

C.J.: I don't know. Let's see...

"Hugh Hefner, Don Imus, Howard Stern..."

all the late-night guys.

This is...

one, two, three...

this is the editorial board of the New York Times.

This isn't a good list, this is a list of the people who are

going to hell. Yes.

They're not praying for me

'cause they like me, it's 'cause

I'm doomed to eternal damnation.

If you weren't, it'd be a waste of praying.

You're on the list, too, pal.

Can I see that?

You can all leave.

We're going to do better for you, boss.

Do better for him.

We will.

We will.

Sam...

Yeah.

Can you walk with me a second?

Yeah.

( heavy sigh )

Well, you were right, I was wrong.

More often than not, it's going to be the other way around, so...

Thanks. Listen, I got a weird problem.

What?

Remember Donna had lunch with Mack's assistant a few weeks ago?

He told her there's a missile silo on the grounds.

She repeated it to a magazine and an NSA guy came

to see me just now, and he said she struck a little close to home

and they want to investigate.

In the meantime, they've revoked her credentials.

"Struck too close to home." What does that mean?

It means somehow, she...

There's actually some kind of weapons system

right here on the White House...

or... intelligence gathering...

Wait a minute.

This doesn't sound right.

( dry chuckle )

Hi.

Hey.

Just... hanging with my friend Michael.

He works in the staff secretary's office.

Plus, he's got his own band.

By the way, you know what your name is for the next month.

It's going to be Bambi, isn't it?

Yeah, it's going to be Bambi-ass.

But on your good days, I'm calling you Abner

'cause you stepped into the White House and didn't flinch.

I'm making phone calls.

( phone ringing )

AMY: Yeah?

How you doing?

I'm freezing.

Where are you?

I'm at my front door.

Well, go inside.

I can't. I'll lose you.

You'll never lose me, Amy.

Please don't say that.

What do you have?

I don't have anything.

I don't believe you.

I don't know what you want me to say.

I want women to have help from the government.

I want women to earn what men earn.

I want everyone to earn enough

so that everyone can make the right choice for their family

and, after that, it's none of your business

who stays home and who goes to work.

You don't know more about raising a family than I do.

That was it.

We got it. We'll give it a test.

I'll call you back. Probably around 1:00.

A.M.?

Yeah. Yeah.

Good.

Let's get that in the form of an answer.

We got something from Amy.

Good.

He was wondering, the Team Toby meeting.

Toby doesn't need to be there, right?

I wasn't really wondering.

Why don't you just do your job as a man

and get that nice girl pregnant?

I did.

Wait, what? What?

Andy's pregnant.

Toby, Andy's pregnant?

With twins.

This is incredible.

And they're yours?

Yeah.

Both of them?

( quiet laugh )

I'm going downstairs.

Well, we're going to have to step this up now.

Yeah.

I'm going to get hats.

Let's go.

Hey.

Good evening, Mr. President.

Did you have a good day?

Yes, sir. We haven't found the answer we like

on the Rooker question yet.

You know what I remember he said to me.

He said, "Mr. President

"when I hear black footsteps behind me, I'm scared.

When I hear white footsteps, I'm not."

Well, I think we both know people who'd say different.

You have to respect him for voicing

such an unpopular opinion

amongst people to whom he's a leader.

You pay for these things for such a long time.

Too long, don't you think?

I absolutely do.

And I don't know why we struggle with it.

We made a mistake, I corrected it.

I'll make more.

Yes. Humans can't rebut that.

It's prevent defense and has the added merit of being true.

Am I going to lose New Hampshire?

Yes, sir.

I don't mind blowing the knucklehead stuff like Rooker.

Rooker's not knucklehead, but... if I'm making mistakes there

how do I know I'm not doing it when it comes to matters like

death and destruction?

Well, probably you don't, 'cause there's no manual.

Sir, we expect a President to face the world in his own way

for his own time.

Also, luckily for all of us

you have better advisers in that area

than you do in domestic and political policy.

( laughing ): All right.

When we're done tonight

we should talk about moving money to Ohio.

Yes, sir, and maybe making a stop in Orange County.

You know, our candidate in the 47th is such a dynamo

that he's in the hospital

with his fourth heart attack. Not anymore. He's dead.

Okay.

Let's go.

And stay up in my face, okay?

Yes, sir.

I swear to God, the winner of this debate's

going to be the next President.

Anybody want to be on the losing team?

STAFF: No, sir.

Then let's pump it up.

Let's go, Claudia Jean.

C.J.: Good evening, and welcome to the Presidential debate

between President Josiah Bartlet and Governor Robert Ritchie

being brought to you

from the University of California, San Diego.

The format, agreed to by both candidates, is as follows:

A candidate will have 90 seconds to respond

followed with a 60-second questioning by his opponent

followed by a 60-second summation.

By virtue of a coin toss, Mr. President

the first question goes to you.