Original subtitles

[Music playing]

[Soft music playing]

Iain Banks The Wasp Factory

The PHONE CALL

Man: Well, no. See, because you wouldn't need to do anything.

We could do that for you here.

Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah, that'd be lovely.

Thank you.

Yeah, could you give me two seconds? Oops, sorry.

Just two seconds. There's a number for you.

Yep.

[Phone rings] [Exhales sharply]

[Phone rings]

Hello, crisis center. How can I help you?

The Man (On phone): [Breathing heavily]

Hello, there. My name's Heather.

Can I help at all?

The Man (On phone): [Crying softly]

You know it can be very hard to speak...

...when we're stressed or when we're unhappy.

The Man (On phone): [Crying softly]

It sounds to me as if you feeling very unhappy.

Do--

Do you think you'd be up to share anything about yourself with me?

I'll try.

Good.

I'm Heather. Is it ok to ask what your name is?

Stanley.

Hello there, Stan. Is it all right if I call you Stan?

- Yeah, of course. - Good.

That's nice. We know each other's names now. - Yeah.

Stanley (On phone): [Breathing heavily]

There's no hurry, Stan. I'll be here all evening.

You just take your time. Ok?

What is it that's making it so difficult at the moment, Stan? - I'm scared.

What's making you scared, Stan?

- I can't tell you. - Heather: Ok.

You know, sometimes...

...when we're scared about something, and we can share it with someone else...

...it helps us feel a little bit less scared. - Uh, yes. I know that. I know that.

I just can't tell you.

Well, that's all right. You just take your time, all right?

Anyway. It's too late now.

It's-- uh, it's already done.

What's already done, Stan?

Has life been a bit difficult lately for you?

- Difficult? Yes. - Yeah? - Yes. Uh, yes it has. Yeah.

- Sorry to hear that. - It's been difficult...

...for a long time, for two years. - Yeah? - Two years ago today.

What happened two years ago, Stan?

Have you called us before, Stan? - No.

- Are you sure? - Yes, I'm sure. - Ok.

Stanley (On phone): [Breathing heavily]

Stanley, just going back. You said it's already done.

What did you mean by it's already done? - I can't tell you.

You'll trace the call and I don't want you to. I'll-- I'll just hang up.

No, don't hang up, Stanley. Don't hang up.

We don't trace calls ever. - Are you sure? - Yeah, I promise you.

We don't do that here. We just offer support during difficult times. Ok?

- All right, all right. - I won't do anything you don't want me to. - Ok. - I swear.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. What's-- What's your name? Heather?

- That's right. - Heather. - That's a good memory. - I'm sorry, Heather.

No need to apologize.

It sounds to me like it was very painful for you...

...whatever happened two years ago. - Yes. Oh, yes.

It was very painful.

Stanley: [Crying]

- I... - It's all right.- I lost-

I lost Joan!

- And who was Joan exactly? - She was my wife. [Crying]

Oh, God. - It sounds like you're feeling a lot of pain.

Thank you so much for sharing that with me, Stan.

Now, Stan, you said before that you were scared.

What exactly are you scared about, Stan?

I felt so-- so desperate.

- You say you felt desperate, Stan? - Yes, yes, I did. I felt so-

I'm-- I'm much Cal-- much calmer now.

What's made you feel calmer, Stan?

Stan?

I-- I can't say.

You know, sometimes when life gets bad we feel really desperate and...

...sometimes we do-- We do stupid things we wouldn't normally do.

I know. I know, but...

I can-- I can't go.

I couldn't go, not without Joan.

Have you taken some pills, Stan?

Uh, yes. Yes, I have.

[Clock ticking]

Ok.

And what exactly did you take, Stan?

Uh.

Um--

- Stan? - Antidepressants. - Yeah? - I got them from the doctor. - Ok.

Do you remember how many you took? - Oh, lots, lots.

No more than enough. - Ok.

And do you remember when you took them exactly? - Uh.

- Try to think. - Um...

I had some a half an hour ago, something like that. - Yeah?

And how do you feel about that now? - Calm. Quite- quite-

- Yeah. - Quite calm, I think. Um- - Ok.

I think they've started working now.

I'm quite-- I'm quite frightened.

Frightened you might have made a mistake?

No. Fri-- fright--

...frightened of being on my own at the end.

Uh, can you just-- can you just, uh, stay there and talk to me?

Heather: Oh, yeah. Of course. I am here. I am here.

Heather: Now, Stan...

...if you tell me your address, I can get an ambulance straight over to you. Yeah?

- No, no, no - And then you can receive treatment. - No.

- And then we can have a little chat again. - No, no, no. - Yeah?

And we can--

We can really help you to improve these horrible feelings you're having.

- No, no, no. - We can do that.

No, it's not possible. Not without Joan, I told you.

You sound very nice and thank you for caring.

But I know this is right for me. I've--

I've-- I've been thinking about it for two years now.

And I've waited-- or I've thought about it.

And it's the only way.

It's the only way.

Stan, do you have family at all? Any children?

Um, yes.

- Yeah? - A daughter.

- What's her name? - Molly. - Molly.

This was 25 years ago, she-- She was stillborn.

Joan's buried with her.

- Oh, that must be very hard for you. - I visit them and...

...take them flowers every week.

We were unable to have any more pregnancies after that.

- It must have been very hard. - Yes, yes, it was. - Yeah?

- Stanley: It was much-- but it was much harder for Joan. - Of course.

- Heather: Um. - Much harder for her.

Will you tell me about Joan? What did you like doing to-- together?

Well, uh...

We were married for 31 years.

We were devoted to each other. We just-- we just looked after each other.

I did jobs around the house, and did the roses...

...and she worked part-time. She was a volunteer around the corner at the Boston.

She-- she sounds like a very lovely lady. Yeah?

She was. She was very lovely lady. She was wonderful.

She really cared about people.

It was just particularly difficult when we lost little Molly but...

...we managed to get through that.

And she got breast cancer.

She had all the treatment...

...the chemo, horrible, horrible, chemo.

She suffered for three years.

I keep thinking she's going to go come home.

Of course, she never does.

She never does.

Stan...

...for only knowing so much about you, I feel like--

I feel like you're my friend.

But I'm a little bit distressed about all those pills you've taken.

Can I call you an ambulance, please? - No, please, don't ask me that again.

I will hang up. - No, don't hang up, Stanley. Don't hang up. Don't do that.

Can't you just stay and talk to me?

Are you allowed to do that? Can you just stay there...

...and talk, and hold my hand? Is that all right?

Heather: Yeah. Yeah.

Of course I can, Stanley. I'm not going anywhere.

Yeah. I'm scared.

I know you are, sweetheart.

Will you tell me about Joan? - What?

What did you like doing together?

Oh, we liked lots of things.

We liked walks. - Yeah. - Walking, even in the winter we'd wrap up.

She loved music. - Did she? - I played in a band, you see?

Did you? What sort of--

What sort of-- What sort of music did you play?

Uh, jazz. I played tenor sax.

- Really? - Yeah.

- I used to play a little bit of jazz on the piano. - Oh yeah? - Yeah.

What sort of-- sort of-- What sort of stuff did you do?

Glenn Miller. I--

I was standing up to play solos and that "String of... moods--

"String of-- Glenn Miller, the whole performance.

Standing up to play solos and that "String of Pearls" "In the Mood."

- Yeah. I love Glenn Miller. - Yeah? - Heather: Mm.

It's a different world, isn't it?

I once-- I once tried to play tenor sax but could only make it squeak.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That can happen.

It's all about lip control, "embouchure" they call it.

It's easy to learn. I could teach you.

- Heather: Yeah? Could you? - Stanley: Oh, yeah.

Yeah? I'd really like that. You sound--

You sound very talented.

I-- I would have loved to have been a performer. - Why didn't you?

Too much of a scaredy-cat.

I always wanted to play Ronnie Scott's. - Oh, well, we played Ronnie Scott's.

- Really? - Yeah, quite a few times.

That's-- That's amazing, isn't it?

You did that.

Well, I used to love it there, I used to go all the time.

I haven't been there in ages. - Why not?

I don't know. I don't really go anymore. I'm too old.

Stanley (On phone): [Laughs] Oh, too old!

I'll tell you about old. [Heather, laughs]

A young girl like you. Go again.

Stan, I'm sorry, but I have to ask, you know?

Are you sure it's not too late?

[Clock ticking]

Uh, I'm afraid--

I'm afraid it is too late. But you've been wonderful.

You've been a wonderful friend to me. Thank you.

I'm sorry, so sorry.

My name-- My real name is...

...John. I did call you once.

- Did you? - I'm so sorry. - No. It's all right.

It's all right, Johnny. You just stay on the line.

You just stay with me, John.

John? John? Kee-- kee- Keep talking to me, John.

Heather: Please, stay on the line.

John, you keep speaking to me. Don't hang up. John, are you still there?

[Heather's voice fading out]

Hello?

Hello, my love. I'm home. - John: I'm through here, my love!

I was just having a little sleep. Where have you been?

I've been looking for you.

John: Well, you found me now. Come on, let me have a look at you.

[They kissing]

- John: I've missed you. - Joan: I've missed you, too.

[They kissing again] John: [Chuckling]

[Music playing] # Carmen Phelan - Take This Dance #