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Operation 'Y' and other adventures of Shurik

Authorized to the children until 16 years

- Sit down, daughter. - It is nothing, nothing, thanks, please seat.

- Citizen, free this place, get up! - If I get up, you will lay upon me.

Citizen, these places are specially for children and invalids.

- And she's what, a child or an invalid? - She qualifies to become a mother.

- And I qualify to become an father! - But, that's nonsense!

- There's exactly an invalid. - So, an invalid. - What will you say now?

- The law it's the law! - Please sit down.

Ah, you hooligan! Now you will be really blind.

- You will testify about this? - We will testify! We will testify.

So... it means that you Poterpevshii...

- You are working in house building? - I was working.

- What signifies "I was working"? - I'm studying now in the Polytechnical Institute.

You're a student!

15 days of arrest!

All right, citizens alcoholics, parasites, hooligans,

Who wants to work today?

By now are requested: - Sand pit -2 persons.

- Stone Career - 2 persons.

- Announce entire list, please. - Sand pit - 2 persons.

Cleaning of streets - 3 person.

The Meat Combinat...

...By now they did not send any requests.

There are requests on constructing of dwelling house, Cement factory...

And on Alcohol Factory no?

Please.

With caution.

First of all, I want to acquaint you with our marvelous team,

In which you're temporarily spending your sentence.

On how many they've sentenced him comrade?

- On complete, 15! - Aha! One and a half decade.

Do not be late with our dinner!

I'm sure that this one and a half decade will pass in a friendly climate and

Complete understanding. - Yeah.

Cork. It's a gift from Africa. Yes! This way please.

By force of imagination represent yourself what block will be build here.

Only in this one will be installed 740 gas cookers,

Namely in 740 times more, than was into entire city till 1913 year. Please!

Romanticism. And if to take for each storey all amount of works, representing our work.

For 1 quarter, and if you put these floors one on another we shall receive a building,

That will be 2 times higher, than worldwide known Eifel tower,

Or much higher above, than the distinguished 'Notre Dame de Paris'.

This means - The Cathedral of Paris, 'Mother of God'. - What, what mother?

Paris. 'Mother of God'.

I ask.

Our construction site built such quantity net room area which is equal one such

City, as Chita, 10 times as Khvalynsk or 32 times as Kryzhopolyam.

Spirit captures in one think that...

...than in America. Thus, and you will be able bring feasible

Mite in labor to the finishing of our assembly management.

- What-what management? - Assembly management. - I'm ready!

Shurik!

- Yes, Pal Stepanych? - All right, Sanya, here is your partner.

Finally, Pal Stepanych, thanks!

- All right, now we shall work. - We'll do our best.

All right, I see, you'll do your best. Stand up, Shurik.

I wish you successes in labor and much happiness in personal life.

I thank for your attention.

Listen, did you have accidents on to construction here?

- No, so far was none. - Will be... soon...

...forgive him God!

...forgive him God!

- What there? - Tss!

Listen, where you vanish? I searched for you all the building. Work costs.

Work costs, and term goes. Do not forget, you have your accounting in rubles, and mine - in arrest days.

- Well, Shurik, how is your partner? - He's re-educated. - It is excellent.

But why whisper? - He sleeps. - Sleeps?!

At the time, where our spaceship travel into the expanses of universe...

...And not without reason all continents applaud to the workers of our 'Bolshoy' ballet...

...Popular wisdom - patience and the job learns Everyone will grind - One!

Finished matter - walk safely - Two!

Work it's not a wolf - in forest not... No, this not recommended...

I have enough!

- And the compote? - Compote!

- Hands... - What? - Washed? - A... Yes, yes, yes.

So... Now, to the sand pit!

- All right-with, let's eat... - Bon appetit.

What's that?

I say: Who does not work - that eats. Study it student!

In my opinion, student, now the people needs more softly methods...

and to see clearer on questions...

What do you think, why they gave to me 15 days?

Because they gave 15 days to me. And for what?

So that you educate me... And that I get a higher moral stature.

All right, teach me, how space ships are sailing... the "Bolshoy" theater...

And I'll sleep.

Correctly... And chase these flies.

- You did that?! - A fly. - Well done!

And, again, what's for?

This only an advance payment. All right now! All right, student, get ready.

Soon you'll put on a wooden Mackintosh and in your house will play

Music... But you will not hear it.

Water!

Thanks.

Stand up, I shall kill you... Student!

This's pure hooliganism! You'll receive 15 days!

Consider, I shall complain!

- You'll let me free? No. - And that's for?

For your educational work.

- Shurik. You are member of the 'Komsomol'? - Yes. - This is not our method.

Where is the humanism? Where is the person to person touch?

Understand, Shurik, at the time, when

Spaceship, as you know, sails... - How can I call you?

- Fedya... and you are Shurik... - Are you married? - Yes, my wife is Liubushka.

And two children - Lenochka and Aleshka. - Signifies family exist. - It is.

- And how old are you? - 41.

Can't you forgive me, Shurik?

I no longer will do it. - No, it's necessary, Fedya... It's necessary!

Mummy.

Mummy.

Mummy.

All right, citizens alcoholics, hooligans, parasites.

Who wants to work? - I! - Wait.

By now requests: Sand pit - 2 persons. - I! - Yes, you wait!

Announce entire list, please.

Signifies so - Cement factory... - I!

- Coal loading... - I! Cleaning of stables... - I!

It is besides... - I! - But just wait a minute, citizen.

Your personal order for all 15 days is already completed. Take it!

Hallucination

Silence! Examination

- Took it? - Yes I took it! - How much? All right? - 5!

Give me the abstract... I must red it.

No, I gave it to the guys, so they must not read.

Can be overturned!

Ticket number 7, first question...

The principle of work of a sychrophasotron. Kostya, how you hear me? How loud?

How you hear me? Reception.

Understood, understood. I hear you normally,

I respond to 1st question of 7th ticket.

At the basis of work of a synchrophasotron

It's put the principle of acceleration of nuclear partcles by a magnetic field.

...By a field. We go further.

- Ok! You've got the abstract? - There are no abstracts, do not impede.

- And what are you listening at? - Van Kliborn. Go!

- Hi! - Hi! - You have it? - What?

You know, what I have asked you before!

- Pay atention, citizen. - Do not distract. - Forgive, please.

- Following Sadovaya! - Ours, let's go!

Take.

To whom?

Salut, aunt Zoya. Give me, please, the key.

- You have today an examination! - Still remains 3 whole hours.

While shall work with my girl-friend.

- Mustard! - Yeah!

Don't! Not overturn.

Ira, unbutton.

It's hot! Undress.

We must go.

- All right, how much? - 4!

- You hear that? - It is quiet. - It is clear.

Take a ticket!

- Professor, it's possible another? - Please.

- It's still posible another? - Take!

- The same! - What signifies "the same"?

- Oh, will you forgive me, professor. - No more, this time you will forgive.

- Will come next time. - I understand.

The heart of a beuty is inclined to change and change... Time, two, three, I give a test.

Kostya, how you hear me? Three, two, one, reception!

- How do you do, professor. - How do you do.

- What's with you? - My ear hurts.

- And this will not disturb you? - No, professor, do not worry.

To the contrary, it helps. No noise can distract from examination.

And this in connection with what? It means you have today some kind of celebration?

Examinations... for me... are always celebrations, Professor.

It's creditable.

That's, please... the ticket!

Ticket number 9. Reception!

- What you said? - What? - What reception?

I've said not 'reception', but I said Ticket 9, and receive it as a task.

- Clearly. Go prepare. - It is quite well.

Hey, where are you? How you hear me? The burdock has not guessed?

I dictate replying to first question of 9th ticket. Means so...

- What's with you? - It shoots in my ear!

Means so. For your invention - 5, and as to the subject matter - nothing.

Professor, of course, I've cheated, but the equipment in it...

How you hear me? How you hear me?

- Yes, I hear you. - Many thanks!

- How much? - 5...

- Who is she? - Where? - There... she's floating

A, she is Lidka from the parallel class!

Lida... The wonderful girl...

Why did I not saw her earlier? - You want I shall acquaint?

- No... no! - Yes, you do! Lida!

It is possible for you one minute?

- Took it? - Took! - How much? - 5! - I congratulate! - Thanks!

- Get acquainted! - Lida! - Petya! E-e-e, Sasha!

Lida!

If you please...

I went.

- Well, here is me and my house. - You live here? - At the 5th floor...

You have a good area. I was never around.

- Do not fear! - There are, maybe, new tenants. And how I shall pass?

It's very simple. The distracting maneuver. I will call the dog towards me,

And you run fast to the house. - It's quite well.

Jack... Jack! The lady... is smoke... vanished!

Vanished! More... just a little bit... a bit more...

Ok, go!

You have at you, casually, some sausages? - I have, but 'doctor's' ones.

- It was doctor's... but became amateur... - And what is that? - Sleeping pills.

- And it's not... - No, absolutely harmless.

No, Bobiku... Bob!

Well here, through 3 minutes will come a deep healthy sleep. Here please!

Akh so! All right we else shall see, who of whom. Right away.

- And how will you get back? - Further we do so: on my signal

You open the entrance door, but remember, only to my signal. Hold this.

Get ready, so.

Open!

That's all. As early it worked.

Only now it is necessary to go by stairs. - Not a problem, lift frequently spoils.

- I'm very happy to get acquainted with you. - I am too, good-bye.

- Sasha! What's happen to you? - Where? - Here is!

- The dog! - Get to my flat, I shall sew it up.

No, for the first time in your house and i'm in such...

- No, we must go. - On no account, no.

...and my throat that hurts. - Your throat? What about your head? ... without brains! - Without brains...

- How do you do! - All right, took it? - 5! - Well done!

- And your 'girl-friend'? - I do not know... let's go! - Good-bye!

Now, turn around, I shall sew up.

- No, better give it to me. - Here is please.

All right, I shall not stir...

- Lida! Everything is fine! - Right away!

Lida, you know, what is my most beloved poem of Yaroslav Smelyakova?

- What? - Sit here and listen.

Along small cabins white acacia sweet flowers smell.

Good girl Lida In southern street lives.

In a windows glass being reflected As to world goes not hurrying...

...And further forgot?

In windows glass being reflected As to world goes not hurrying...

Good girl Lida... - And why she is so good?

Ask about it the boy, What in house opposite lives,

He with this name lays down And with name this rises.

Not without reason on stone plates, Where the lovely boot went

"Good girl Lida" In blue paint he wrote.

Can touch people boy's Little obstinate fervor.

So Pushkin's love should be... So...

- What with you? - No, nothing. On what I stopped? - On Pushkin.

Yes and... yes... Pushkin... there are miracles,

There are forest wanders... the 'rusalka'...

- Stop it, what marmaid, Sasha? - On branches hangs... Lays...

In my opinion, you have studied too much

No, I have not studied too much. It's...

Lida, I wish to set you one Serious question.

Is very important for me. - Ok.

Just happened to you this: you come in a place like...

...this for the first time, and to you it seems,

and it seems that you already were here, and

...all it's familiar to you: subjects, smells, sounds.

- You have experienced this? - No, newer.

I always remember, where I was, when and with whom.

It seems I have such experience.

Here and now it seems to me that I was here already. - Are you well, Sasha?!

Yes-yes, I saw everything already.

Now I shall draw aside this curtain,

And find a crystal jug!

Was!

- Sasha! So you are a telepathist! Like Volf Messing! - You think?

- Precisely! And let's try... - Let's.

You leave this room... I write on a paper a desire...

And when you will return...

I shall mentally order you to grant my desire...

- Can we? - Let's do it.

'Look for the velvet mouse'

Enter!

- Did I got it? - Almost.

Then I shall try again?

Need more practice.

- Till tomorrow. - No, till the day after tomorrow.

- The day after tomorrow I have examination. - Me too.

- I shall prepare tomorrow... - Me too.

Signifies the day after tomorrow, after examination?

Yes, the day after tomorrow after examination...

Operation 'Y'

Citizens new settlers! Implement culture:

Hang plastic 'coverages'.

Neither modernism, neither abstractionism,

It preserves the walls from humidity, You - from rheumatism.

Don't go, scurry, buy painting.

I shall recommend, classic plot "Rusalka", as to the opera with the same name,

Music by Dargomyzhsky, words by Pushkin. - Shame!

There is an entirely neutral plot, recommended even to usage

In children's establishments. It is please. Oh, not that, will forgive, here is... take it.

Give it to me.

Be short. It's a serious matter.

- Where is this pretended invalid? - Do not bluster, I'm invalid.

- Here is what we have on today's day. - Not we, just you.

- What can save us from the audit: - Will forgive, not us, just you!

From the audit can save us only a robbery!

- With break-in or without? - Well, naturally with break-in.

Article 89, location 2- till six years old. Will not go.

So, the robberies will not go.

- Nobody succeed it before us... - Nobody succeed it before us...

These are real trifles. It's necessary to stage a robbery.

You must break the cashier, penetrate...

Into the store, and to leave all traces of a theft

Then gently vanish, having taken nothing. All right that, realized, at last?

Do not be agitated, comrade director.

People will want to find who's the guilty party, that's all.

- This natural! - It is legal!

- This new matter is not mastered by us. - It is exact, not mastered.

Therefore, here is this measure...

Or, how better to say,... operation... Y!

Operation "Y"!

Why "Y"?

- Why "Y"? - In order to nobody sniff it.

Idiot!

All right, now back to the matter.

To first of all it's necessary To neutralize the guard...

- Not to us, but to you. - This time it's namely you! - Yes? - Yes!

But what is exactly 'to neutralize'?

- Article 193, location 2. Till three years old. Will not go. - No, will not go.

Neither...

The guards love to be put asleep with chloroform and that's done.

All the operation it's legal

But a little as shallow hooliganism.

Yes, but take into account that...

...for this shallow hooliganism I disburse large money.

I want an advance!

And this guard is strong?

In the operation night will serve as guard a grandmother - God help her.

- And she is armed? - Only with blank ammonition! Others questions exist?

- How much? - Three hundred!

- This is superficial! - No, will not go.

You do not know us and we do not know you.

- I look stupid. - I shall earn more on 'rusalkas'. - Will not go, will not go.

- The dogs will went on laughters. - I mean three hundred! - Stop it!

Your conditions?

- 330! - I agree. - Each! - I agree!

Good bye!

Stop, stop, stop. What you do? Entire hour rehearsed.

To this effect I allowed the use of my own barn - and neither bray.

Here is how you should be in the proper form to approach the old lady

And to attract its attention is simple, by the way. And you asked?

- What is the programe of the library? - At 3 hour of night! Idiot!

- All right, and you? What should you do? - Watch surroundings

And announce you when the militias shows up, or the old lay wakes up.

- But shall the old lady wake up? - No. - So what are you talking about?

- Blockhead. - I agree.

And you?

You're cretin, you should not steal these bottles, but to break them.

- Break them? - Break them. - Whole liter and half? - Whole.

- It's not a loss? - Of course, it's a loss.

- Yes, but I insted of you... - But! But! But!

Let's set all as it was, we shall pass of other reasons.

I'm afraid - afraid - I'm afraid afraid for my nephew.

Little birds sleep and the fish also sleep...

- Maria Ivanovna! - Tss! What you! Lenka wake up.

I'm afraid - afraid - I'm afraid What's occured?

I bring you the rent for the apartment, for January.

Thanks. Put it on the chest of drawers.

- It is quite well that you came. - Why?

Nobody was here, and I could not talk to my director today to replace me on guard.

- Do not be worried, I shall take care of Lenochka. - Thanks.

- And also I have to look at the sin dough that I'm cooking now. - Ok, also,

But after dough cooking, go directly on guard... - All right, then I move away.

Stand up, do not knock, wheels. Conductor, press brakes.

I address to my natural mother With my last prayer

I like to see her with my own eyes.

- What time it is? - You're what? A telephone clerk?

Slow in moves, without difficulty in work. - Try it on him. - Ok.

Do not wait for me, mummy, your good son.

Your son is not as was yesterday.

I've sucked a dangerous bog

And my life - it's an eternal game.

- Can you tell me, how many degrees below zero today? - What-what?

- You what? - I'm training.

Then train yourself better...

On cats. - It's done, please.

Stand up, do not knock, wheels. It's time to look the fate in eyes.

It's not so far too late To us to make halt.

Conductor, press brakes.

Wait to walk!

All right, it's about time! On work!

Nothing to do. This is a nightmare.

Maria Ivanovna, I beg you, go home!

- Yes go, I'll take the guard for you. - It is all right, I'm in a hurry.

Do not be worried, Maria Ivanovna, everything will be all right.

- In case of need, just whistle. - Aha. - All right, I went.

Gandma'! Do you have a smoke? - What?

- And where is the old lady? - I am for it. - You? - Yes.

What with you?

Who's here?

- You who such? - The guard. - And where is the old lay? - I am for it.

- And where is the exit? - It is there... Hands upwards!

- Who whistles? - I.

- And where is the old lady? - And you who? - I'm from the Milita! And you? - The guard.

It's done, let's to bind it. - Him?

A... Friend...

Accursed thief of socialist property. You, blackguard!

Run, call the Militia, and I will watch him.

- In case of need - you whistle. - It is all right.

- And where is the phone? - It's an automaton at the corner, 2 streets away.

- Get up, get up. - Where I am?

Leave it, faster to the car, get up.

- What, you've done this? - None else, do you have a piece of 2 kopeks?

Militia it's "02", without coin.

Take... You shut up!

- Can you tell me, where is the toilet? - Found! - Thanks.

Let's do it quick, now shall come the militia!

Hands upwards!

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