Original subtitles

FIRST ANCESTOR: O Savior of China,

you have ennobled the House of Fa.

In gratitude, we honor you.

All veneration to you, O mighty. . .

MUSHU: Say it. Say my name.

FIRST ANCESTOR: Mushu.

Now, that's what I'm talking about.

Hey, how you doing up there, man? Thanks for the intro.

(GROANS)

And now I think I'd like to visit my beloved pedestal.

Let's get it over with.

(ANCESTORS GRUMBLING)

Ceremonial robe of honor.

Ooh, if Mulan could see me now.

(LAUGHS)

(SIGHS)

Mulan saves China one time, and now he thinks he's the emperor.

MUSHU: I'm climbing a stairway to heaven.

Whoo. Top floor.

Pedestals, perks and props.

Ceremonial bath of honor.

(BOTH GRUNT)

Ooh, yeah. Y'all better take a deep breath now,

because I ain't leaving my pedestal for the next thousand years.

(ANCESTORS SIGH)

Let the whirlpool begin.

Oh, yeah.

(HUMMING)

According to this chart, I put the coins here. Mm-hm.

Relax, child.

The spirits tell me Shang will arrive and propose to Mulan before the sun sets.

There's still time to get in on the pool.

Mother.

Gambling is like playing mah-jongg with blank tiles.

No one really wins.

I'm enriched by your presence, my son.

-FA LI: Hmm? -I, uh, think I'll go pray.

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

FA LI: Hello, Sha-Ron.

-Is Fa Mulan here? -Why, she's out in the field.

Ha, ha. Yeah, doing her chores.

Oh. I'll go help her.

Ah, thank you.

(SIGHS)

The children all love Mulan.

And why not?

She's strong, she's brave, she's beautiful.

(LAUGHS)

She's a chip off the old block.

(GRUNTING)

Hi-ya!

(CRI-KEE CHIRPS)

(GRUNTS)

Hi-ya!

GIRLS: Hi-ya!

-Whoa! -Hiya.

(BARKING)

It's okay, Little Brother. What's going on here?

We wanna be like you, Fa Mulan.

Ya! Ya! Hi-ya!

(GIRLS AND MULAN GIGGLE)

But I'm still learning myself.

-Please? -GIRLS: Teach us, Mulan.

-Show us. -Okay. I guess I can show a few moves.

Mulan's gonna teach us how to kick butt.

(GIRLS CHEERING)

(MULAN LAUGHS)

Whoa, hold it. Calm down.

That's lesson number two.

The first and most important lesson is to be gentle

at the same time we're being tough.

How can you be tough and gentle?

Yeah, I wanna be tough. Ha!

GIRLS: Yeah !

I know it does sound a little funny, huh?

But the world is full of opposites, and so are you.

To be a good warrior, you must bring it all into balance.

Hmm. Let's see if this helps.

Earth, sky, day, night.

Sound and silence.

-Dark and light. -Ha-ha-ha.

(SINGING) One alone is not enough

You need both together

BOTH: Aah ! Hmm.

Winter, summer Moon and Sun

Lesson number one

GIRLS: Wow.

(SINGING) Like a rock Ha! Ha!

You must be hard Ha! Ha!

Like an oak Mah!

You must stand firm Ha! Ha!

Cut quick

Like my blade

GIRLS: Huh !

Think fast Ha! Ha!

Unafraid

(CHIRPS)

GIRLS: (SINGING) Like a rock Ha! Ha!

I must be hard Ha! Ha!

Like an oak Mah!

I must stand firm Ha! Ha!

Cut quick

Like my blade

Think fast Ha! Ha!

Unafraid

(CHUCKLES)

Okay, Mulan, I'm ready.

Uh-huh. But you're still out of balance.

You're only halfway there.

(SINGING) Like a cloud You are soft

Like bamboo You bend in the wind

Creeping sIow You're at peace because you know

lt's okay to be afraid

(CHIRPS)

GIRLS: (SINGING) Like a cloud I am soft

Like bamboo I bend in the wind

Creeping sIow l'm at peace because l know

lt's okay to be afraid

(BARKING)

MULAN: One alone is not enough GIRLS: One alone is not enough

MULAN: You need both together GIRLS: You need both together

MULAN: Winter, summer Moon and sun

GIRLS: Winter, summer Moon and sun

Winter, summer Moon and sun

MULAN AND GIRLS: Lesson number one

(GIGGLES)

-Like a cIoud -Like a rock, ha! Ha!

-I am soft -l must be hard, ha! Ha!

-Like bamboo -Like an oak, mah!

-I bend in the wind -I must stand firm

MULAN: You can fly

-l'm at peace because l know -Cut quick Iike my bIade

-Think fast -lt's okay to be afraid

Unafraid

MULAN: You have begun GIRLS: Lesson number one

Lesson number one Lesson number one

Lesson number one

(NEIGHING)

Aah, it's General Shang.

-General Shang. -It's Shang.

GIRL: Look, it's General Shang.

(LAUGHS)

Hello, little warriors.

(GIRLS GIGGLING)

-The new uniform suits you, General. -Oh, the uniform. Yes.

(CLEARS THROAT)

-Now I just have to live up to it. -Of course you will.

-You're very brave. -Oh, right. Brave.

Yes, well, ahem, Mulan, I haven't known you for very long,

but I feel that doesn't matter so much when a man is in. . .

When a man is in. . .

(GIGGLING)

Is there someplace private we can talk?

We can go to my house.

Ha, ha. Okay, everybody, time to be like the river and flow home.

GIRL 1 : Oh, okay. GIRL 2: Oh, no.

GIRL 3: Bye, Shang.

GIRL 4: Bye, Shang. Bye, Mulan. GIRL 5: See you.

-Could you take care of this for me? -Aah !

(SQUEALS)

(GIGGLES)

You know, you're never gonna get that back.

(SHANG CHUCKLES)

(MULAN YELLS)

(BOTH LAUGH)

Ha, ha. She said yes.

(SIGHS)

When one's heart is overfilled with joy, some may spill from the eyes.

You can say that again.

I win the pot. Ha-ha-ha.

Actually, you bet he would propose before sundown.

I bet he would propose before noon.

But, uh, you don't gamble.

Betting against my mother is not a gamble.

It's an investment.

(GROANS)

(SOBBING)

Oh, what a happy, happy day.

My little baby's getting married.

-Shh. Mushu, someone will hear you. -I can't help it.

You know dragons are very emotional.

Oh, it seems like just last month you and I were saving China.

-It was last month. -How time flies.

You know, baby, this must be a magical moment for you.

It's not every day I get engaged.

No, I meant telling me you're engaged.

(CHIRPS)

After all, I'm the guy that gave you and Pretty Boy the hookup.

Am I a guardian or am I a guardian?

Ha, ha. Oh, you're more than that, Mushu.

You're my most trusted friend.

Oh, that did it. (SNIFFLES)

Are you crying again?

No, I just got some exfoliating cream in my eye.

Of course I'm crying, girl. What you think?

Oh, Mulan. I'm just so happy for me.

Heh. You? Uh. . . Hmm?

This wedding business is a big status boost for me.

When those ancestors look up the career ladder,

all they gonna see is my behind.

So glad my getting married is helping you out, Mushu.

All right, I get you, Miss Missy.

But, you know, I'm thinking about you too.

In fact, I'm gonna plan your wedding.

First, I gotta work me up a theme. You know, theme is everything.

How about Rainbow of Memories, huh?

No, that's too junior prom.

I've got it. The theme is Think Pink.

You know, pink is the new red, girl. It's simple, it says it.

-Now, watch my smoke. -MULAN: Ha, ha.

Cri-Kee, to the fabric store.

(CRI-KEE CHIRPS)

-Ha, ha. -Mulan?

Seems your grandma invited someone to help us celebrate the engagement.

Really? Who?

China.

CROWD: Congratulations!

(CROWD CHEERING)

Isn't it wonderful?

Sorry, it's sort of slapdash.

It took us by surprise, you know?

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

Make way for the happy couple.

(GONG RINGS)

Now, this is a battlefield.

What's our strategy, General?

Divide and conquer.

(BOTH LAUGH)

All right, all right, all right, dead people, we've got work to do,

-so let's move with purpose. -(ANCESTORS GRUMBLING)

I've got an important announcement to make.

Hold on to your ectoplasm, now. Mulan's getting married.

(CHEERING)

All right, all right, all right, simmer down. I know just how you feel.

But time is wasting, people, so let's move, move, move.

The theme is pink.

I wanna see pink flowers, pink ribbons, pink bows.

I'm not talking about salmon. Don't show me no blush.

I mean, pink as a freshly slapped newborn's behind.

-How about a pink slip? -Excuse me?

-Don't nobody wanna see your drawers. -Huh?

Actually, she meant this.

Hey, this looks like a for-real pink slip.

You know, like a "you're fired" pink slip.

-Oh, it is. -Say what?

-Ow. -The pink slip is for you.

-Aah ! -It is written, once a woman marries,

her husband's ancestors take over the duty of guardianship. Ha, ha.

Oh, no, your scroll must have a typo. That can't be.

-Oh, but it is. You're out of a job. -Out of a pedestal.

And out of our hair, fool.

(GRUNTS)

Oh, no, no, no. I ain't going out like this.

It took me 500 years to get this pedestal back,

and I ain't about to give it up.

Hear me, you lazy lounge lizard.

The moment Fa Mulan is married, you've got your old job back.

Remember gong duty?

Perhaps this will ring a bell.

(ANCESTORS LAUGHING)

Mushu's on his way out

Mushu's on his way out Mushu's on his way out

(SIGHS)

What am I gonna do?

Mushu's on his way out

(LAUGHS)

-So tell me, will it be a big wedding? -Absolutely.

Oh, no. Absolutely not.

-WOMAN: Children? -As many as possible.

-Maybe one or two. -CHILDREN: Ha, ha.

SHANG: We'll think about it. MULAN: Right away.

-Blue. Mild. -Pink. Spicy.

-Yes. -No.

Oh, dear. Did you hear that?

Not exactly a harmonious couple, are they?

What should we do?

Perhaps we should give our gift to the children now.

(GATES BANG OPEN)

(CROWD GASPS)

General Shang, Fa Mulan. Orders from His Majesty the Emperor.

-Is there trouble? -EMISSARY: Yes, sir.

Report to the Imperial Palace.

We'll leave at once.

This must be pretty important for the Emperor to want both of us.

He knows a winning team when he sees one.

Pfft! Since when are they the winning team?

The ink ain't even dry on my pink slip and I'm being replaced.

(CHIRPING)

Yeah, I know, you're right.

How could I have been so selfish?

Look at them. Those two clearly got it going on.

Cri-Kee, I've made a decision.

I gotta kiss my pedestal goodbye,

because my girl's happiness comes first.

(CHIRPS)

(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

Ba-ba. Ma-ma.

We were just admiring the Mudan tree.

It's so lovely this year.

The blossoms reach for the sunlight above,

yet unseen, the roots reach for the rainwater below.

Sun and rain, so different.

Yet only by working together do they create harmony and life.

I know, Ba-ba. The lesson of yin and yang.

And to help you remember that lesson. . .

Father, Mother. Your necklaces.

Not ours. Our great-great-grandparents.

FA ZHOU: And now, yours.

Thank you, sir.

Oh, they're so beautiful.

But you'll be surprised how heavily they can weigh.

To share the burden, you must work together.

Like the sun and rain.

Wait a minute.

Old man Fa Zhou got a point now.

Mulan and Shang are as different as sun and rain.

And when the infatuation wears off,

their tree of life's gonna wind up with root rot.

(CHIRPS)

Oh, yeah, sure she seems happy. That's the real tragedy here.

The girl don't even realize how miserable she is.

(CHIRPS)

That's why I gotta nip this thing in the bud.

(CRI-KEE CHIRPING)

This is not about my pedestal.

This is about Mulan making the biggest mistake of my. . .

Uh, I mean, her life.

(CHIRPING)

Man, how could I have been so selfish?

Mulan's a girl worth fighting for.

And after all, I am the girl's guardian.

Cri-Kee, I'm gonna break them up.

(CHIRPS)

Oh. So I guess that means you're on board.

Uh, Mulan, could you smooth out the ride a little bit?

Oh, I'm getting horsesick.

Mushu. What are you doing here?

Hey, whither thou go, I goest, girl.

Remember, teamwork isn't about ego, it's about we go.

(CHIRPS)

Cri-Kee. What are you doing here?

-(LAUGHS) -(CHIRPS)

Protect Mulan from me? I'm her guardian.

-(CHIRPS) -Yeah, yeah, her lucky cricket.

You're lucky I don't break out the bug spray.

THE EMPEROR: As we stand here,

Mongol forces are moving closer to our border.

The threat of attack is growing every day.

As it is, our army is hopelessly outnumbered.

Your Majesty,

let me lead my forces in a preemptive strike.

Each of my warriors will fight like 1 0 Mongols.

No, General.

I plan to defeat this enemy without the use of force.

Instead, we will forge a union so strong, the Mongol hordes won't dare attack.

An alliance with the kingdom of Qui Gong.

We will become united through marriage.

You will escort three princesses to Qui Gong.

There, they will marry Lord Chin's sons. . .

-What? -And seal this critical alliance.

Yes, Your Majesty.

My advisors tell me the charts are clear.

If this wedding does not take place in three days,

the alliance will crumble and the Mongols will destroy us.

Mark my words, General, three days.

Not a moment more, Your Majesty.

I know that face, Fa Mulan. What troubles you?

Your Majesty, an arranged marriage?

Rest assured, child,

my daughters know exactly what they are doing.

Your daughters?

They consider it an honor to marry in the cause of peace.

Your Majesty, I, uh. . .

THE EMPEROR: Apology accepted.

General, how many troops do you estimate you will need

to accomplish this mission?

-Three. -Three companies?

-Three men. -You surprise me, General.

These are my children.

This mission does not call for force, but finesse.

We must become one with the countryside.

As Emperor, I trust you.

As a father,

I implore you to choose your three soldiers wisely.

I know just the men. Fearless.

-Loyal. -And disciplined.

China's most honorable and noble soldiers.

THE MATCHMAKER: And stay out!

(ALL GRUNT)

I've found wives for hundreds of men.

But the Golden Dragon of Unity himself

couldn't make love matches for you three.

Come back when you get personalities.

Well, that's a fine way to treat China's greatest. . .

Ow! Heroes.

What's her problem?

All I asked for was a girl who would worship the dirt I walk on.

I simply asked for someone who would cook for me

morning, noon and night.

And I just wanted a girl who likes to laugh.

And thinks I'm a god.

Perhaps we weren't specific enough.

Aw, forget that dragon lady.

The only ones who can find girls worthy of us is us.

Yeah.

(SINGING) Well, l don't need her To be all smug and snooty

(SINGING) l got a plaque right here That says l kicked Hun booty

(SINGING) We have everything We dreamed we'd find

When we came back from war

ALL: Yeah, everything but

A girl worth fighting for

Hey, suck in your gut.

ALL: There's a girl worth fighting for

LING: And I think she wants us to come over.

(SINGING) My girl will laugh at all my jokes

But tell it to me straight

She'II rub my head when I get sick

And let me pick off of her plate

CHIEN-PO: lf Ling can find a girl Who likes his chopstick nose trick

Oh, he reaIIy better just propose quick

(SOLDIERS GRUNT)

Well, l have to say Based on today l'm cranky

l'll just spend my life with you two

Pass the hanky

And there's no one there To steal my chair

And twirI around the fIoor

SOLDIERS: Wish that l had A girl worth fighting for

(MEN GROAN)

I wouId be true To a girl worth fighting

I'd make fondue For a girl worth fighting

l'd even kiss you For a girl worth fighting

(SOLDIERS GRUNT)

SOLDIERS: For

Mulan. General Shang.

Ha-ha-ha. If you three aren't too busy disturbing the peace,

I need you to join Mulan and me on a mission.

-To save China? -Naturally.

I'll be leaving behind a few broken hearts, but count me in.

-Sign me up. -When do we start, General?

Tonight.

Huh?

(SIGHS)

We're about to depart, Your Highnesses.

You have my word we will arrive swiftly and safely.

TING TING: My sisters and I thank you, General Shang.

Permit me to introduce Fa Mulan.

MEI: It is a privilege to meet the hero of China.

I leave you in her capable hands.

Stand ready.

-You might need these. It's a little chilly. -Thank you, Fa Mulan.

You're welcome, Your Highness.

-So, you're getting married? -MEI: Oh, yes.

-To princes in Qui Gong. -TING TING: That's right.

Well, they must be handsome.

SU: We don't know. We've never met them.

Really?

So you have no idea what they're like at all.

TING TING: It's all right, Fa Mulan.

It's our honor to serve the Emperor.

MEI: And the Middle Kingdom.

SU: The whole thing is so exciting.

We're very happy, really.

Well, I'm glad to hear that. I'm not sure I could go through with some. . .

SHANG: Mulan, prepare to move out.

Um, time to get going.

(PRINCESSES SIGH)

SHANG: Move out.

(SIGHS)

If we get to the Honshu pass by midday tomorrow. . .

We'll have just enough time to make it to Qui Gong.

Yeah, just enough time to stop Mulan

from making the biggest mistake of my. . .

Uh, I mean, uh, her life.

(HORSE NEIGHS)

(MULAN SIGHS)

What's the face?

-What face? -That face.

There's no face. This is my face, that's all.

You know I know you better than that, Mulan.

-What's wrong? -(MULAN SIGHS)

-I realize our duty is to the mission. . . -But. . .

But I have another duty. To my heart.

Oh, Mulan, your only duty is to the Emperor.

But, Shang, an arranged marriage?

I know, but not everyone can be as lucky as we are.

In an ideal world, everyone would marry for love.

(SIGHS)

But the world isn't perfect.

I'm just glad my world is.

Hmm.

"My world." Talk about selfish.

You know, you don't hear me bragging about how it's my world,

even though it pretty much is.

I'm telling you, Cri-Kee,

the sooner I bust them apart, the better things will be for Mulan.

And so I said, you just broke my best set of China.

(LAUGHS)

China. Get it?

Did you see the way she looked at me?

You mean with disgust?

(LING AND CHIEN-PO LAUGH)

No.

Our eyes met and we shared a cosmic moment.

Oh ! Just like when I look at potted pig's knuckles.

(LAUGHS)

It's love, I tell you.

Love.

Love, shmove.

It doesn't matter, we're on a mission.

No fraternizing with the princesses.

Engaged-to-be-married princesses.

Oh, yeah.

Wow.

China is so big. Isn't it beautiful, Mei?

Mei?

Oh ! Yes, beautiful.

Did you see the way he looked at me?

Who, the gorilla with the bad eye?

Gorilla? He's more like a big cuddly panda bear.

-But you didn't even talk to him. -A true romantic can tell.

He may be coarse on the outside, but on the inside. . .

-He's gross? -I mean, under that.

He smells?

-Ow! -I can see past my nose.

Deep down, deep, deep down, way down, there's something.

Oh, ha, ha. Ting Ting, I think she's in love.

Oh, no. There will be none of that.

Remember, Mei, you are to be married in three days.

You gave your solemn oath.

You're right.

SHANG: Whoa.

We're stopping to water the horses, Your Highnesses.

Maybe you'd like to stretch your legs?

Are the, uh, guard fellows out there?

Oh, yes. You're perfectly safe.

I think a leg stretch would be very nice.

(GIGGLES)

(HUMMING)

Oops.

Huh?

Thank you for helping me with my slipper.

-Ow! -May I know your name?

Uh. . . Now. Dow. Cow. Bao?

No, you must eat.

It must be exhausting guarding us day and night.

Oh, no. Well, yes, but I'm strong, and marching.

Yes, I suppose all that training does make it second nature. Ha, ha.

But I think, uh, you, a princess, with royal. . .

Oh, I could never. . .

But it is our duty, and our honor.

Although it can be a burden.

Oh, I've said too much.

You are very easy to talk to, Yao.

Permit me to echo your praise, Your Highness.

I find your presence engaging and your conversation sparkling.

Thank you.

(GRUNTING)

(GASPS)

(SU GIGGLES)

-Humph. -Well, hello there. I am Ling.

I am Princess Ting Ting.

Well, if you ever need me, just give me a ting-a-ling.

(LAUGHING)

Oh, come on, Your Highness.

You don't wanna let your guard down.

Get it? Guard? Down?

Thank you. Ha-ha-ha.

(TING TING MOANS)

You know, I've got some blue blood myself.

Many have called me a royal pain.

Thank you.

-TING TING: Ugh. -You've been a great crowd.

(SIGHS)

Ha, ha. Ting Ting, look, isn't this fruit lovely?

Chien-Po got it for me. He's so sweet.

Just get your pomegranates in the carriage.

(SU CHUCKLES)

Fa Mulan?

Your Highness. Is anything wrong?

No, no, not at all.

Are you sure?

Uh. . .

I just wanted to compliment you.

You were so brave to take your father's place in the army.

Oh, well, thank you.

Your duty was to stay home,

but your heart told you to break the rules.

How did you decide between duty and heart?

(GRUNTS)

Well, it wasn't easy.

But, uh, by following my feelings, I wound up doing the right thing.

I guess I learned that my duty is to my heart.

"My duty is to my heart."

Yes, that makes sense. That's marvelous.

Thank you, Fa Mulan. Thank you.

You're welcome, I guess.

SHANG: Let's get back on the road.

Aha.

That's my cue to put Operation Shang into action.

Pretty Boy's gonna look so bad, it will send Mulan running for the hills.

This is gonna be delicious.

Ah.

SHANG: Hmm. Mm-mm-mm.

Watch this.

(GRUNTS)

Hey. What?

(GROANS)

(GRUNTING)

Hey.

-Good catch, Shang. -Ha-ha-ha.

(GROWLS)

Ah !

(CHUCKLES)

Oh !

(MULAN CHUCKLES)

(MUTTERING INDISTINCTLY)

-(HORSE WHINNIES) -(MUSHU CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

(GROANS)

Oh. Shang? Oh.

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

(GROWLS)

(GRUNTS)

(GASPS)

(HORSE NEIGHS)

(SHANG SCREAMING)

(BEAR GROWLS)

(SHANG SCREAMING)

Oh !

Oh.

Ah !

Hey.

Mm, ha, ha. Tasty.

(GROWLS AND GASPS)

(HORSE NEIGHS)

(MUSHU GRUNTING)

(GROANS)

Ugh. I try and I try.

I put my heart and soul into busting them up.

And what do I have to show for it?

(LAUGHS)

A cricket laughs in my face.

Oh, I just can't do it anymore.

Oh, great ancestors, I throw myself at your mercy.

My pedestal is all but a distant memory.

(CHIRPS)

Great Spirits, take me now.

(MUSHU SCREAMS)

(PRINCESSES SCREAMING)

(SOLDIERS GASP)

(MUSHU GRUNTING)

Hold on, ladies.

Help! We'll save you.

Look out, a cliff!

SHANG: They're headed for the cliff.

Come on.

MULAN: Hyah. Hyah.

-Time to go, ladies. -Ting Ting, over here.

-Go. -MEI: Aah !

-TING TING: You're next. -No, no, no.

-YAO: Alley-oop. -Take my arm.

(TING TING GRUNTS)

-SHANG: Ling. -Ting Ting's stuck.

Mulan, the rope.

Hyah.

(ALL SCREAM)

YAO: Hang on.

(ALL SCREAM)

(ALL GASP)

(COUGHING)

-Is everyone all right? -Mei, I'll save you.

I saved the food.

And I saved you.

-Aah ! -Mulan.

(COUGHS)

-What happened? -I don't know, I wasn't near the carriage.

Yao, Ling. Save the supplies.

Keep paddling. Oh, look how great you're doing.

-Who's the big boy? -Thank you.

(CRI-KEE CHIRPING)

My fault?

(CHIRPS)

This wasn't my plan.

Wagon's busted, cold and miserable, everything's ruined.

Or maybe not.

Old Shang's steaming like a fresh pork bun.

(CHUCKLES)

I bet he and Mulan are two nasty words away

from an all-out feud.

Oh, Cri-Kee, things are brightening up after all.

(MUSHU SIGHS)

(CHIRPS)

(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

-MULAN: I've seen happier princesses. -That's the least of our problems.

(GRUNTS)

There's a mountain pass between here and Qui Gong.

It takes us through bandit country, but it's the only way.

Why not just follow the river?

-Because the river is not on the map. -It's bound to go past a town.

And where there's a town, there's a road.

There's no town on the map.

Well, then maybe we should just forget the map and wing it.

We can't "wing it." We need a new plan.

We have three days. What if we get lost?

Then we pull over and ask directions.

We don't need to pull over and ask directions. We have a map.

What is it with men and asking directions?

What is it with women and maps?

Oh, you're saying women can't read maps?

I'm saying that women will ask directions,

but they won't follow directions.

Men follow directions, so they don't need. . .

YAO: General, I. . . Oh.

Am I interrupting?

-What is it, Yao? -Scout report.

I've found a village and a path to it through the forest.

(IN UNISON) A forest path?

-Great. Show us. -Ha, ha.

YAO: See? If it were a snake, it would have bit you.

There's bound to be a road down there that will lead us to Qui Gong.

-Good work, Yao. -Thank you, sir.

Shang, I'm sorry.

You're in charge of the mission.

No, I'm the one who's sorry.

A good leader is open to new ideas.

-Forgive me? -Hmm.

There's nothing to forgive.

BOTH: Mm.

BOTH: Oh.

(BOTH LAUGH)

Um, I'd better go. I've got the first watch, General.

But. . .

(CHIRPING)

Are you bugging? Look at her go.

She can't wait to get away from him.

(CHIRPING)

That's no smile, that's a mask of pain.

(CHIRPS)

Yeah, well, that was just phase one of my new 1 8-phase master plan.

Now, just watch phase two when I get up close

(CHIRPS)

and personal.

(GRUNTS)

(SIGHS)

Excuse me, Your Highness, I found your fan.

It just needed a little drying out.

Oh, thank you, Ling.

Normally, I would say I'm your biggest fan,

but, uh, ugh, I'll just go away now.

Again.

(GRUNTS)

-Sorry. -SU: Hee-hee-hee.

I'll replace that. Oh !

(MUTTERING)

Of course she doesn't like you. You're just such a ding-a-ling.

(SU GIGGLES)

He likes you.

It would seem so.

And you like him.

Well, I appreciate that he's a good soldier.

How can you do that?

How can you look right at someone,

realize you share a special connection, and then just. . .

I know where my duty lies, Mei.

Do you?

(GASPS)

(SIGHS)

"And so, my dear father, I cannot complete this mission.

"I have come to realize that my duty is to my heart."

TING TING: What are you doing?

-SU: (GASPS) She's running away. -Mei, what are you thinking?

I can't complete this mission.

I know that now.

Why, because Yao has given you his heart?

No, it's not about his heart.

It's about mine.

Mei, we've discussed this.

A princess must make every sacrifice for her country.

It's our duty.

(CRYING)

(SINGING) The life of a princess

From her birth is weII-defined

She must humbIy serve her country

Play the part she's been assigned

She guards the hopes of her peopIe

Weak and mighty, rich and poor

Who couId ever ask for more?

(SINGING) Who could ever ask for

Who couId ever ask for

(IN UNISON) More?

(GRUNTS)

(SINGING) l wanna be like other girls

CIimb up a tree Iike other girIs can

(IN UNISON) Just to be free like other girls get to be

Mei. Su.

To sIouch when I sit

To eat a whoIe cake

Feel the sun on my feet

-Get dirty -Act silly

(IN UNISON) Be anything l want to be

-Dance around -ln my underwear

(TING TING GASPS)

BOTH: To run really fast

To get rid of this fan

-To eat a whoIe cake -Get crazy

-With frosting -No escorts

-No manners -No nursemaids

(IN UNISON) No worries, no hands folded perfect

Like holding a lily

No pinchy shoes?

(BOTH LAUGHING)

ALL: l wanna be like other girls

Scrape up my knee Iike other girIs can

Just to be free Like other girls

Get to be

To speak for myself

To sing way off key

ALL: Marry someone l've met

Who Ioves me for me

No escorts, no manners No nursemaids, no worries

ALL: No hands folded perfect

Like holding a lily

No pinchy shoes

l wanna be like other girls

CIimb up a tree Iike other girIs can

Just to be free like other girls

Get to be

(ALL LAUGHING)

Huh.

(SHANG SNORING)

MUSHU: She defied you.

She insulted you.

-Man, she laughed at your map. -My map.

And if she's laughing to your face,

imagine what she's saying behind your back.

Back. Oh, oh.

She's a loose cannon.

-She's out of control. -She's out of control.

I mean, who's in charge here? You?

-SHANG: I'm in charge, I'm in charge. -Or Mulan? Mulan.

-Mulan. -SHANG: Mulan.

Mulan ! Huh?

Oh.

(YAWNS)

(CLEARS THROAT)

General Shang? Ahem. That's not it.

(IN HIGH VOICE) General Shang?

Hello, it's me, Mulan.

General Shang. (CLEARS THROAT)

(COUGHS)

(AS MULAN) Shang, Shang, Shang.

(IN NORMAL VOICE) Ooh, I got it.

(AS MULAN) General Shang?

General Hardhead, that's what they should call him.

-Everything's got to have a strategy. -Mulan?

MUSHU: (AS MULAN) The man won't brush his teeth without a backup plan.

-What? Huh? -MUSHU: (AS MULAN) I blame myself.

I fell for those broad shoulders.

I didn't realize there wasn't much sitting on top of them.

(GASPS)

Oh, except for that garlic breath.

(IN NORMAL VOICE) Ooh, whee, that boy can peel paint. Oops.

(GASPS)

That's enough. Where is she?

(CHUCKLES)

I am good.

-Mulan. -Why, hello, general.

Out on night maneuvers?

General Hardhead? Brushing my teeth?

-Um, is something wrong? -I heard you, Mulan. Every word.

Every word of what?

Don't play coy. I saw you outside my tent.

What? I haven't left my post.

And I suppose you weren't gossiping about me with the princesses?

Shang, did that dip in the river get you waterlogged?

And why are you talking with your hand over your mouth?

I wouldn't want to peel your paint.

Changing of the guard.

And next time, don't leave your post.

-Humph. -What's with him?

(GRUNTS)

What's with her?

Who am I talking to?

Ugh. How could he not believe me?

(CHIRPING)

I don't know, girlfriend.

But I do know this. Without trust, there can be no relationship.

And that man don't trust you.

Maybe he was just confused.

Please. First, you fussed about the arranged marriage.

Then you fought about which way to Qui Gong.

Now, y'all feuding over nothing. It seems pretty clear to me.

You're right.

(SIGHS)

-Mushu, I don't know what to do. -Oh, I do. It's simple.

Drop that boy like a hot pot sticker. Kick him to the curb.

Burn his letters and dance around the fire yelling,

"Happy days are here again."

You know, you have a point.

If this is the real Li Shang, I don't like what I'm seeing.

I hope the tea is still warm.

(WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY)

-After you. -No, after you.

-No, after you. -After you.

YAO: I said, after you.

(ALL GRUNTING)

(PRINCESSES GASP)

You, I'm gonna. . .

-MEI: Yao. -Huh?

Is everything all right?

No.

I mean, yes.

You see, Chien-Po here has always had a dream.

-A dream? -A dream?

-A dream. -But I don't. . .

Oh, that dream.

A dream of seeing a small village in the middle of nowhere

by the moonlight.

How can we help?

Well, if Your Highnesses would consent to come with us to the village,

we could still guard you, and Chien-Po could have his dream.

My one chance to be like other guys.

-Can we? Can we? -Can we, please?

MEI: Oh, please, come on. SU: Oh, Ting Ting, please.

Sounds like fun.

MEI AND SU: Hurray! Hurray!

Shh.

-Oh, we're sorry. -Ha, ha.

We're off.

-I never noticed we were so different. -Huh?

MULAN: It's like I don't even know him.

Well, what do you know about that?

I mean, I know he's by the book, but doesn't the man ever bend a rule?

And, uh, speaking of bending rules. . .

You know, relationships are easy when everything runs nice and smooth.

-Oh, but. . . -Mulan.

-Nice and smooth just ran out of camp. -What?

Did you know that almonds, rice and milk are part of a complete breakfast?

Mushu.

I'm just trying to tell you the princesses went AWOL, that's all.

-Where are the guards? Oh ! -Uh, showing them the way.

-They're together? -Mm-hm.

-"Together" together? -Don't you understand Chinese?

(GRUNTS)

Hey, what about old Shang-hai?

I think I better handle this one on my own.

Shang's on a short fuse as it is.

Just make sure nothing wakes him up.

(CHUCKLES)

You can count on me.

(SNORING)

(GROWLS)

(CHUCKLES)

(CHIRPING)

(SCREAMS)

Where are the guards?

The princesses.

(GRUNTS)

Huh?

"My duty is to my heart"?

(GROANS)

Mulan.

(NEIGHS)

Get your ticket, cricket.

The show's about to begin.

(CHIRPS)

Ow. Oh.

(BAND PLAYING UPBEAT MUSIC)

(CROWD GASPS)

Wow. Look at all the food.

(SNIFFING) Mm.

We just got in some excellent ginger.

(SNIFFS)

Oh, ginger.

That goes very well with dumplings.

Did you say dumplings?

(LAUGHS)

-Mm. -How about some fresh ginseng?

That makes a wonderful accompaniment to soy beans.

One order of soy beans.

Mm.

MAN: Hi-ya. SHI RONGKAI: Unh.

-CROWD: Oh ! -Ooh.

MAN 1 : He's done. MAN 2: You're done.

Oh, my.

Who will be next to challenge the undefeated Shi Rongkai?

Oh.

-Step aside. -MEI: Aah ! Yao.

-Oh, no. -MAN: You'll be killed, little man.

(SHI RONGKAI GRUNTS)

MEI: Aah ! SHI RONGKAI: Hee-hee-hee.

(YAO GRUNTS)

(CROWD CHEERING)

So where does he go?

(SHI RONGKAI SCREAMS)

(GASPS)

Yao, you're my hero.

MAN: Little, like a little gorilla.

(CROWD CHEERING)

BARKER: Pick a prize, any prize.

(MEI SIGHS)

BARKER: Which one do you want, sir?

Give me that one.

(LAUGHS)

LING: Ha-ha-ha, okay, okay.

Okay, okay, how about this one?

What does Attila say when he walks through the door?

(AS ATTILA) Hun, I'm home.

(LAUGHING)

(TING TING GROANING)

(SIGHS)

(IN NORMAL VOICE) I give up.

I guess I'm not as funny as I think.

(LING YELLS)

(SIGHS)

(LAUGHING)

(SNORTING)

Huh?

-What a cute laugh. -TING TING: Oh, no. I hate my laugh.

What? It's adorable.

I thought you didn't have a sense of humor.

No sense of humor?

(LAUGHING)

(TING TING SNORTING)

(BOTH LAUGHING)

(MEI SIGHS)

MEI: It's so beautiful.

-Yeah. -LING: Ha, ha.

TING TING: It's the same moon we see from the palace.

No, this one is entirely different.

You're right.

MULAN: I know I've never seen anything like it.

ALL: Aah ! Mulan.

-I'm listening. -We. . .

-That is. . . -Uh, all of us. . .

-Oh, boy. -Fa Mulan, it's love.

Yao and myself, Chien-Po and Su. . .

And myself and Lingy Bear.

I mean, Ling.

(WOMEN YELLING)

CHIEN-PO: Hurray.

Group hug.

CHIEN-PO: Hmm.

-Oh, I'm so happy for all of you. -SU: Heh-heh-heh.

(HORSE NEIGHING)

(ALL GASP)

General Shang.

-General Shang. -Oh, boy.

(MEI GROANS)

Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me.

Don't worry. I'll handle this.

I'm so sorry to break up your little party.

Ooh, this is gonna be good.

MULAN: Shang, before you jump to conclusions,

let me explain the situation.

-Fine. Why don't we start with this? -MEI: Aah !

-That's mine. -All yours?

Or did you have help?

"And so, my dear father, I cannot complete this mission.

"I have come to realize that my duty is to my heart."

-Now, who does that sound like? -Mei never meant to send that letter.

Your Highnesses, you swore a vow to be married in Qui Gong.

If your father saw you now breaking that vow,

what would he say?

(PRINCESSES SIGH)

You three are to escort Their Highnesses

back to their tents immediately.

You are to guard them. You are not to enter their tents.

You are not to speak to them.

Not a word, ever. Am I understood?

SOLDIERS: Yes, sir.

(ALL SIGH)

Shang, the problem isn't as bad as it seems.

-The problem, Mulan, is you. -What?

You place your own feelings above everything.

Duty, obligation, tradition, it all means nothing to you.

It means everything to me.

My heart tells me my duty, and I follow it.

(GROANS)

You're a brilliant warrior, Shang.

(SHANG SIGHS)

You're brave, you're loyal, but you don't trust your heart.

Sometimes I wonder if you even have one.

(GASPS)

This assignment has made it clear.

We are very different people.

Maybe too different.

Fine.

We have a mission to complete.

Fine.

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

(YAWNS)

Isn't it a great day?

I see Pretty Boy isn't talking to you.

And you're not talking to Pretty Boy.

Well, you know you can always talk to me.

Huh. Well, just wait till she realizes what I've done for her.

Will that frown turn upside down.

(CHIRPING)

Snapdragon? Huh.

Just for that, I'm not talking to you.

(CHIRPS)

We're so sorry for what we've done, Fa Mulan.

You inspired us to follow our hearts.

And we repay you by ruining your relationship.

No, you just opened my eyes to how broken it was.

I'm indebted to you, Mei.

Keep a sharp eye. This is bandit country.

(GASPS)

I sure wish we could talk to the princesses, Yao.

-What? You know we can't. -Heh.

Oh, yes, Ling, I also wish we could talk to them.

But as you know, orders is orders.

Yes, but if I could talk to them, do you know what I would say?

No, Ling. What would you say if only you could?

I'd tell Ting Ting that she's the prettiest, funniest,

most extraordinary girl I've ever met.

I would tell Princess Su

that she is like fresh ginger on the rice bowl of my life.

(CHUCKLES)

And I would tell Mei that she's one right babe.

(CHUCKLES)

Mulan, what do you say to a little pick-me-up?

MULAN: My father said differences can make you stronger.

He didn't realize that Shang and I are just too different.

Well, you know you always got me.

The old team, right?

Oh. You're always looking out for me, Mushu.

Ha, ha, well, just doing the best I can.

Really, I just don't know what I'd do without you.

You're the best friend I've ever had.

(GROANING)

(SCREAMS)

Oh, I can't stand it no more.

The only thing wrong with you and Shang is me.

I'm the one that got between you.

What are you talking about?

It's not like you made the carriage go into the river.

Now, that was an accident.

Following several attempts at on purpose.

And it wasn't you outside Shang's tent.

Heh-heh-heh. You know how I gab.

And you woke him up after I left?

It wasn't easy neither. That man can sleep.

-Mushu, what did you do? -Well, I was banging pots and pans.

No. What did you do?

You was getting married. Everything was gonna change.

I was gonna lose you. And my pedestal.

You mean, you got between Shang and me so you could keep your job?

I'm sorry.

What you did was unforgivable.

But you and Shang are so different.

Wait a second. Not as different as I thought.

Oh, all those problems, they weren't us. They were you.

(SIGHS)

Oh, I've got to talk to Shang, tell him I love him.

Mulan, I'll make it up to you. I promise.

Forget it. You've helped enough.

Shang. Shang.

-It's an ambush. -YAO: Bandits.

SHANG: Close ranks. Save the princesses.

(GRUNTS)

-MEI: Run, run. -You two, get the gold.

-BANDIT 1 : Come on. -You two, come with me.

BANDIT 2: I got them.

Shang, I've got your back.

(GRUNTING)

YAO: Take my hand. MEI: Unh.

-MEI: Help! -The princesses.

-How dare you touch me? -It won't budge.

BANDIT 3: Then take the whole package.

MEI: No.

YAO: Get your hands off her.

(SU AND TING TING GASP)

MEI: Help!

-SU: No! -Mei.

Yao!

Hold them off. Let's go.

MEI: Help me.

(GRUNTS)

Run.

-Mei. -MEI: Yao.

(ALL GASP)

Come on.

(ALL GASP)

(MULAN GRUNTING)

(BOTH SCREAM)

-(GASPS) -(MULAN GRUNTS)

Let's get out of here.

(BOTH SCREAM)

Shang, hang on.

-It won't hold us both. -It will. It will, Shang.

(GRUNTS)

Mulan.

-I'm sorry. -MULAN: Please.

Shang.

Shang !

(CRYING)

Shang.

(CRYING)

Fa Mulan, we're ready to go through with the wedding.

MULAN: No.

Your orders are to take care of each other.

But. . .

Losing Shang will not be meaningless.

No matter what it takes, I'm finishing this mission.

(WHINNIES)

(SNIFFS)

(SNORTS)

(NEIGHS)

(COUGHING)

(GASPING)

(SIGHS)

Good horse.

CHIN: What do you mean, they are gone?

MULAN: There was an accident, Lord Chin.

The royal carriage fell into the river and was destroyed.

Oh. A grave loss.

-ADVISER: Ahem. -Hmm?

ADVISER: Mm-mm-mm.

But it does not alter my agreement with the Emperor.

And unless it is honored,

I will sanction no alliance with the Middle Kingdom.

-A marriage was promised. -And a marriage there will be.

(COURT GASPS AND MURMURS)

I would be honored to wed a prince of Qui Gong.

You?

My Lord, Fa Mulan, the hero of China.

Oh, a jewel in your crown far more dear than three mere princesses.

ADVISORS: Mm-hm, mm-hm.

Hmm.

This is not what was agreed.

However, the Golden Dragon of Unity smiles upon you today.

And in view of the tragedy, I will accept your offer.

You will make a fine bride for my eldest son, Prince Jeeki.

(GONG RINGS)

(GASPS)

This is her?

She's so old.

Oh.

YAO: Mulan said she was gonna finish the mission no matter what.

But how can she without us?

SHANG: By taking your place.

(ALL GASP)

CHIEN-PO: Shang's alive.

YAO: Shang, you're alive. You're alive.

-MEI: Hurray. -(YAO KISSES)

(SOLDIERS AND PRINCESSES LAUGH)

Mulan was right.

No one should marry someone they don't love.

I'm going to Qui Gong.

-We're going with you. -No, you're not. Stay here.

Hmm. Would you say that was an order?

I would say it was a friendly suggestion.

Let's go.

(ALL CHEERING)

Looks like we won't be a team after all, Mushu.

Oh, Mulan.

I would give up 1 ,000 pedestals if I could stop this.

(CEREMONIAL HORN BLOWS)

I doubt even the Golden Dragon of Unity could stop this now.

Goodbye, Mushu.

(CROWD GASPS)

(GASPS)

(GRUNTS)

My people,

the Golden Dragon of Unity, who guides us in all we do,

today sanctifies a union that will be a blessing for all of Qui Gong.

(CROWD CHEERING)

CHIN: Huh? JEEKI: Heh-heh-heh.

(CHIRPING)

Of course I wanna stop it.

But what can one itty-bitty dragon do?

With the tying of this sash,

we shall unite not only two lives, but two kingdoms.

(GASPS)

MAN 1 : It's General Li Shang. MAN 2: He's alive.

(GASPS)

Woo-hoo. Yeah, Shang to the rescue.

Lucky for Lord Chin, because I was about to whip his butt.

Oh, you're alive.

I couldn't let you get married without me.

General, this is outrageous.

-You will leave at once. -Unh ! I'm not going anywhere.

-What are you doing? -I don't know. I'm winging it.

How dare you trample upon this sacred ceremony?

Oh, my gosh, he's gonna lower the hammer on Shang.

Where is the dang Dragon of Unity when you need him?

(CHIRPING)

Oh, don't bother me now, Cri-Kee, I. . .

(GASPS)

I have an idea.

My lord, I love Mulan, and I don't care what the rules say.

If she'll have me, I intend to marry her right here, right now.

Insolent dog.

Seize him.

-Shang. -Mulan.

(ALL SCREAM)

MUSHU: Yo, what's with all this drama?

(ALL GASP)

The Golden Dragon of Unity. He lives.

Mushu?

MUSHU: Oh, you dang right, I live.

So you best drop your dumpling-eating behind on down

and tell me why we ain't busting out the vows already, huh?

But, Your Greatness, General Li Shang is not a son of Qui Gong.

MUSHU: Silence!

(SCREAMS)

MUSHU: I am the Golden Dragon of Unity.

And I decide whom to unify.

My all-seeing eye has peered into the very heart of China.

And I've never seen two people more right for one another

than this lovely couple right here, Mulan and Shang.

Give it up for them, would you please?

(CROWD CHEERING)

Now, I command you to proceed at once.

Yes, Your Greatness, as you command.

Now let's get down to business. Mulan, do you love Shang?

Of course you do. Shang, do you love Mulan?

Yes, very much, moving on.

By the power vested in me, by me.

I hereby pronounce you husband and wife.

You got anything to say, Lord Double Chin?

(SCREAMS)

Yes. I mean, no.

I mean, whatever you say.

(CROWD CHEERING)

(LAUGHS)

MUSHU: And furthermore, I hereby decree

that the princesses of the Middle Kingdom,

wherever they may be,

are released from their vow and may marry whomsoever they please.

And who pleases them, that's very important.

Honey pie.

(CROWD CHEERING)

(CHIRPS)

(SIGHS)

I can't believe I'm back on wake-up duty.

Well, Mulan is happy.

And if she's happy, I'm happy.

(CHIRPS)

Oh, thank you, Cri-Kee.

I did do good, didn't I?

FIRST ANCESTOR: Better get your rest, Mushu.

I have a yoga session at dawn,

and I don't want to be late for my greetings to the sun.

And don't forget.

I like to be awakened from my beauty sleep

with a nice long foot massage.

(GASPS)

I think I'm gonna be sick.

(ANCESTORS LAUGHING)

(ANCESTORS GASP)

MULAN: Heh, Shang, what are you doing?

Watch and see.

-What is he doing? -It can't be.

ACCOUNTANT ANCESTOR: He's combining the family temples.

No.

Uh, excuse me, uh, what does that mean exactly?

You know, for me?

It means. . .

Yeah, what, what? It means what?

Unfortunately, you get to keep your pedestal.

Oh, yeah.

I'm back, baby.

-I am back! -Unh.

Yes.

Oops.

-So this is the famous Mushu? -MULAN: Mm-hm.

Somehow I pictured you bigger.

Say what?

You told him about me? About us?

Heh, heh. I have no secrets from my husband, Mushu.

I told him everything.

"Everything" everything?

That's right, Great Golden Dragon of Unity.

(CHUCKLES)

I still don't get it.

What does combining our temples do?

It gives me back my pedestal.

Oh. Wait, but can you do this?

-Aren't there rules? -Of course.

Right next to the rules about dressing up like a man

-and joining the army. -MUSHU: Ha-ha-ha.

Well, what do you know?

This thing just might work out after all.

(BOTH LAUGH)

Hey, yo, where's my masseuse?

Saving China gives me knots like you wouldn't believe.

-Ugh. -And what about my pedicure?

Let's get jamming on the toe jam, people.

And somebody heat up some oil.

I don't know what we're gonna do with it yet,

but it's gonna be good.

Does a hero dragon deserve anything less?

Draw my bath.

Warm my towels. Let the pampering begin.

l wanna be like other girls

l wanna see what other girls see

Just to be free like other girls

Get to be

Na-na-na, na-na-na

Whoa

To wear my old jeans

To eat a whoIe cake

Feel the sun on my feet

-Be quiet -Be crazy

Be anything l want to be

Dance around in my underwear

To walk by myself

Do nothing all day

To eat a whoIe cake

Be cranky With frosting

No cameras No pressures

No phoneys No hair gel

No people who think that They know me but don't

No platform shoes

l wanna be like other girls

l wanna see what other girls see

Just to be free like other girls

Whoa, whoa

l wanna be like other girls

l wanna see what other girls see

Just to be free like other girls

Get to be

Na-na-na, na-na-na

Whoa

To stay in one place

To sleep until 3

-To meet a nice guy -Who Iikes me for me

No cameras No pressures

No phoneys No hair gel

No people who think that They know me but don't

No platform shoes

l wanna be like other girls

l wanna see what other girls see

Just to be free like other girls

-l wanna be like other girls -Other girIs

l wanna see what other girls see

Just to be free like other girls

Whoa, whoa

-l wanna be like other girls -Other girIs

l wanna see what other girls see

-Just to be free like other girls -I wanna be Iike

l wanna see what other girls...

-Just to be free like other girls -I wanna be Iike

l wanna see what other girls...

Get to be

l'll show you worlds you've never seen

The sun and moon and shadows

The rainbow's arch The mountain stream

The summer's cIouds

And the winter's dreams

l'll play you sounds You've never heard

The waterfaII The river

The thunder of the hummingbird

The whisper of the snow

What if you never know

How much you cared

Till you are parted By a stormy sea

How could l let you go?

How couId I bear

My life without you

Here with me?

The worId's a door That's open wide

Because you're here beside me

And with the moon and sun To guide me

Now my heart can fly

Now our hearts

Can be

Free

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