Original subtitles

Here comes the drain.

- Thank you. - For a blind guy,

my dad was great at navigating rough terrain.

- Don't forget to warn me abou... - Now.

Thanks.

There was only one real bump in his path...

Looking good, babe.

- Dad! - Hey!

Having a teenage daughter.

♪ Let's tell the world all the things we've done ♪

♪ The places we've been in the setting sun ♪

♪ I've got a song and a smile so bright ♪

♪ I'll make you wish you were here tonight ♪

♪ I'll make you wish you were here tonight ♪

- synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com -

Okay, Henry, next one. Remember, first thought.

What do you see? There are no wrong answers.

- I see a bird... - Mm-hmm.

Who wishes his mom would leave him

out of her cognitive-behavior homework.

What's wrong, dude?

Scared to look inside yourself?

I see a man and a woman, and they're totally, like...

- Not your card, Runyen. - [Cell phone rings]

Hey, Katie.

How goes game night at Morgan's? Give me the deets.

I need you to pick me up.

Ooh, did Morgan and Dustin get back together?

Are you feeling a little third wheel-y?

- [Siren whoops] - Mm...

Not exactly.

I just don't understand why we can't go.

The cops are breaking it up. It must be epic.

Again, Runyen, I'm gonna ask you to zip it.

If their dad finds out, he might go into a rage.

[Whispering] So just be cool, and everything will be fine.

Yeah, it's not gonna be fine.

The thing about my family is they are totally predictable.

Mel. Where are you going?

You cut the pizza party short to stand outside my door

talking for the last three minutes.

Something is up. You'll brief me in the car.

Let's do this.

Like I said, predictable.

Okay, now, Mel, let's just wait and hear the whole story.

[Siren whoops]

I'm caught up. You two stay in the car.

Oh, Mel, baby, come on!

I'm sorry, man.

What are you talking about?

This is our first high-school party.

I mean, we're watching behind glass,

but I'm still counting it.

I'm sure Katie can explain this.

And you think she'll tell the truth?

- Yes. I trust our daughter. - Oh, and I don't?

I don't, actually.

Game night, yeah.

There's one game teenagers like to play,

and the last round usually involves peeing on a stick.

This is nuts.

Tomorrow night we're staying at your place.

God, I hope they tase someone.

I know what it looks like, but I didn't drink.

- Uh-huh. - The only reason

we left game night was because Morgan found out

that Dustin cheated on her.

I knew it. Did I not call that?

- Also not the point. - Morgan.

I knew that kid was trouble.

Remember she wore lipstick to preschool graduation.

She was bummed, and she started drinking.

Her, not me, and I didn't want to leave her.

And then I called you guys.

Don't I get points for that?

Sure. Yeah, I'll give you ten points for that,

bringing tonight's total to...

Negative-7,000.

Ugh!

- She left? - Yep.

And so did you. Okay.

Forward.

In every relationship, whether it's with your daughter,

your ex-wife, or your guide dog,

there comes a point when you have to learn to trust.

Elvis, forward.

For dad, he and Katie hadn't reached that point yet.

[Elvis whimpers]

And neither had he and Elvis.

Oh! I think your dad just got tased!

I'm okay.

[Sighs] No, he's up.

Even if you didn't drink,

your brain is basically drunk on hormones.

You should be locked in your room until you graduate college.

- Okay, can I just say that... - Both: No.

- Look, go up to your room... - Ugh!

- And let me talk to your dad. - And while you're up there,

don't do anything that might bring the cops!

Dude, this place is like a reality show.

I just wish I could TiVo the parts I'm not here for.

Set your DVR, 'cause we're staying

at your place tomorrow night. I need a break.

Yeah, that's not gonna work for me.

Make it work. You're giving me one night.

I mean, two years and I've never been there.

You think this place is bad?

My place is a nightmare.

I'm using mouthwash, and there's alcohol in it!

- Do you trust me to rinse? - You say "rinse,"

but you'll probably take it

to some fake game night and make mouthwash margaritas!

- Ugh! - [door slams]

Okay, I'll give you one night.

How did you not see this coming?

Morgan? A game night?

The only game was fooling you so they could go to that party.

Look, you're probably right about Morgan,

but I trust Katie.

- You don't think she drank? - She totally drank!

- Runyen! - Mel, baby, I'm on your side!

She's a good kid. If she says she didn't drink...

Come on, Joyce.

If we let this go, then the next time the party could be here,

although you, I guess, would love that.

You'd be dancing by the blender, making frozen daiquiris.

Yeah, they'd be virgin daiquiris,

and I would make all sorts of fun appetizers,

and the cops would come over

just because they want to hang out.

Yeah. Okay. You know what?

This is why it's good that discipline

is my department and not yours.

No. Now it's our department.

Now that we're separated, I will parent as I see fit.

And since it happened on my night,

I will punish her accordingly.

When she's at your house,

you can sew a Scarlet "D" on her sweater,

and, yes, I joined a book club.

Fine. I guess we're done here.

Come on, Elvis. Here, pup!

[Door closes]

Need a ride?

Would you mind?

So there are no wrong answers.

Just tell me what you see right when you look at it, okay?

It's just that I'm not really supposed to...

a blob?

A blob?

No. You're suppo... okay, no, let's just try again.

Uh, a different blob.

I'm sorry. Could you just...

Okay, I feel like you're not even trying.

- [Cell phone rings] - Oh.

Just give me one sec. Hey, Mel.

Just calling to get the verdict

in "pParents V. Only teen ever to not drink at a party."

Katie and I had a long powwow...

Unbelievable. You're not punishing her.

No. I am not.

Clearly you have trust issues, Mel,

because you didn't even trust me to handle this.

- Well, you didn't. - I did.

I talked to her.

I assume the best, where you assume the worst.

I trust her, and trust is the water

that allows her to grow.

What, are you reading that off a mug?

Forward, Elvis.

- [Elvis whimpers] - Forward.

Buddy, we walk this way every day.

- Come on. - [Elvis whimpers]

[Sighs] Would somebody in my life please do what I...

[Elvis barks]

Hello? Mel?

Joyce, upon further reflection,

you may have a point about my trust issues.

I'm gonna have to call you back.

Okay.

Little help?

Blind guy in a hole!

I'm telling you, dude...

you don't want to sleep over here.

Last chance to push the eject button.

I already pushed it to eject from my house.

- How bad can your family be? - You're about to find out.

Take off your shoes and step into the freak show.

Runyen's place was nothing like I predicted.

It was so much better.

Hey, boys. Right on time.

It's nice to finally meet you, Henry.

I hope you're hungry.

We're hungry. We're growing. It's dinnertime. God!

[Speaking Korean]

[Speaking Korean]

Hey! English!

Yaya said you're handsome, and then my mom agreed.

They both love your hair.

Henry, please sit. Eat.

[Sighs] I'm sorry, dude. You asked for this.

[Grunts]

Save room for dessert.

Don't get too excited. It's just doughnuts.

"Just doughnuts" is gonna put you through college.

My parents own the donut palace on Sepulveda.

We take home whatever's left over.

Those headphones alone cost me 600 doughnuts.

Are these real plates?

- Hey. - Hey!

You want to binge-watch something?

The DVR is 98% full, and it's stressing me out.

Oh, thanks, mom, but I'm going out.

I have time for a few rorschach cards, though.

Oh, cool. That's great.

Where are you going?

Uh, nowhere, just gonna spend the night at Morgan's,

you know, probably catch up on some homework.

That one looks like a library.

Morgan, as in "Morgan who was drunkenly singing"

Bohemian Rhapsody to the cops last night" Morgan?

[Chuckles] Yeah. Her parents grounded her.

So I have to go to her place.

They don't get her like you get me.

- Oh, I get you. - Yeah.

Wow. Her parents sound rough, like a couple of Mels.

Good luck with them tonight.

Yeah, you know, actually,

they're not gonna be home 'cause they have to work late,

which, you know, thank God.

Means we can do our homework in peace.

- Yeah, hallelujah. - [Laughs] Yeah.

You know, we should, um, actually call dad.

I mean, I'm totally cool with it,

but we should run it by corporate.

But do we have to on your night?

- [Line trilling] - It's probably best.

But you know what?

Let me ask him, and he'll know it comes with my green light.

- Hello? - Hey, Mel.

It's Joyce and Katie. Say hi.

- Hey, dad. - And, uh, she just asked

if she could spend the night at Morgan's.

Her parents won't be there, which I'm cool with.

But, um, we know your comfort level isn't where mine is,

so we just wanted to get your input.

- Sounds okay to me. - [Whispering] Sorry.

- Thanks, dad. - Wait. What?

They're staying at Morgan's, right?

Yep, promise.

That's what they're saying.

"They" being Katie and Morgan.

- Morgan. - Have fun, sweetie!

Thanks, dad!

Great. That's gre... that's great.

You don't have to do this.

I want to.

Chores, structure, routine...

I love it.

[Speaking Korean]

English!

She says your pants will be ready in two minutes.

Sweet.

Yaya just saved you 25 doughnuts.

[Microwave bell dings]

Henry.

It's warm.

Seven seconds in a microwave. I just changed your life.

[Speaking Korean]

English!

It's perfect here.

I feel like at any point,

your family's just gonna break into song.

[Scoffs] You have no idea what you just did.

♪ 'Cause, baby, you're a firework ♪

♪ come and show 'em what you're worth ♪

All: * make 'em go, "oh, oh, oh" *

♪ as you shoot across the sky-y-y ♪

Why didn't you tell her no?

Who's this?

You're the one that's supposed to tell her no.

I had a feeling you'd be stopping by

after our phone call.

Come on in.

Yes, after dropping Katie off at Morgan's,

although I should've just driven her straight to Tijuana

and cut out the middleman.

You know, I have a bottle of wine I've been saving

for a victory in a big case, but honestly,

me trusting Katie more than you do is so much sweeter.

[Sighs]

Do you think Rachel Federman stuffs her bra?

Totally, right?

I meant to talk to you about that.

[Sighs]

Uh, dude...

What?

If this is your bed, I can sleep in the other one.

Oh, you're not gonna want to do that.

Why not?

Good night, Yaya.

[Speaking Korean]

[Whispering] She sleeps in your room?

[Whispering] Technically, this is her room.

[Normal voice] And you don't have to whisper.

[Snoring]

Thanks for sleeping over.

Sorry I was so weird about it.

Ahh. That is nice.

You sure I can't get you a glass?

Of your "rub it in my face" wine?

No, thank you.

So you fell into a hole, and now you trust your daughter?

Yeah, what can I tell you, Joyce?

I learned how to trust.

First my guide dog and then my daughter.

As a wise mug once said,

"trust is the water that allows her to grow."

Good wine, right?

What happened to you in that hole?

I'm gonna get you your own glass.

I know where both my kids are, Joyce,

and they are totally fine.

Katie's with Morgan... totally fine.

Henry's with Runyen... totally fine.

[Yaya snoring]

Oh, God.

[Snoring]

[Speaking Korean]

[Screams]

[All screaming]

I wish I'd had more than three sips

so I could blame what I'm about to say on the wine.

But you're right.

Our kids are smart. We have to trust them.

So glad you're finally seeing things my way,

which, of course, is your fake way from before.

To trust.

- Okay. - [Glasses clink]

[Cell phone beeps]

[Computerized voice] Katie is headed south

on Grandview Avenue.

Is that your phone?

Uh, I don't know. I didn't hear anything.

[Cell phone beeps]

Katie is headed southwest...

Are you tracking Katie on your phone?

Tracking who on my what? No, I'm...

- No. Elvis, find my phone. - Oh, my God.

Elvis, fetch phone. Fetch phone!

[Cell phone beeps] Katie is headed south...

Katie is continuing on...

So the whole time you were sitting here gloating,

you were tracking her.

Yes, and because of that, we now know that Katie

is not where she said she would be, and we know where she is.

You're welcome.

It feels like you're giving me a mean look,

when Katie's the one who did something wrong.

You're still glaring at me, aren't you?

Oh, yeah.

[Sighs] Straight to voice mail.

They'll make an app that'll let you stalk your daughter,

but not one that'll make her pick up.

"Stalk." Joyce, come on,

it's just a way for me to keep track of her

that she does not need to know about.

It's perfectly innocent.

- It's creepy. - How is it creepy?

[Cell phone beeps] Joyce is headed north...

- Are you... what the... - Mute. Siri, go to mute.

- Ha! - I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I get that you're mad.

But believe me, if you ever get kidnapped, you will thank me.

May I have my phone back, please,

so we can find our daughter?

Hmm...

Who throws a phone out of a moving car?

Who tracks their family like they're on house arrest?

The stricter you are, Mel, the more she's going to rebel.

And if something really goes wrong,

she's going to be afraid to come to us.

I'm just trying to keep an open line of communication.

Well, the last thing she openly communicated

was that she was gonna be studying at Morgan's house.

- How's that working out? - [Cell phone beeps]

Katie is headed north...

- One o'clock. - Got it!

[Speaking Korean]

[Sighs]

Now do you see why I didn't want you to meet my family?

Hey. My family's a circus with a blind ringmaster.

Somehow we both managed to turn out normal.

We're normal, right?

Why is your hand not on the wheel, Joyce?

I have a hand on the wheel.

I need to see where to turn, Mel!

Well, you need to see the road, for crying out loud.

We have two good eyes in this car.

I have two, yes, and one is here.

- No, you may not see the phone. - Melvin Fisher!

I'm not showing you the phone until you pull over.

I'm not pulling over! We need to get to Katie!

Pull over if you want to see the phone!

- I'm not pulling over! - Pull over!

[Siren wails]

All right, I'll pull over.

Okay, don't panic. I'll handle this.

Nope. I got it.

When it comes to tickets, I know exactly what to do.

Hello, sir.

I'm a woman.

I didn't mean "sir" in a guy kind of way.

I meant, like, offi-cer.

Good save. License and registration.

Okay, officer, here's the deal.

- Okay, Mel, I got it. - No, no.

Our daughter is missing. Well, not missing.

But she's not where she's supposed to be,

and we don't know if she went to get drugs or...

Drugs? I was thinking sex.

I hadn't even thought of sex. What if it's sex and drugs?

[Cell phone beeps]

Katie is turning left on south...

She's supposed to be at my house,

because I should have done the right thing

and told her she couldn't go to Morgan's,

but now the delinquent lush Morgan's probably got her

on some fraternity booze cruise right now,

and it's all my fault.

Joyce, it's okay. We're... we're figuring it out.

Officer, look, just give her a ticket or don't.

- Wait. What? - Do what you got to do,

but we need to get out of here, like, now.

This Morgan sounds like a real nightmare.

Get out of here.

- Thank you, offic... - [Tires squealing]

They got off at three.

Katie and the drug man are on three.

Oh, my heart is pounding. I can't calm down.

It would be 1,000 times worse if you had seen the lobby.

My nose saw it.

Wow.

We've talked more about how to handle Katie

in the last two days than we ever did when we were married.

Yeah, now that we're apart, we make a pretty great team.

I need to be a little more like you

and not afraid to crack down.

And now you say something, Mel.

I... I... yeah, I need to be a little...

less like me.

[Elevator bell dings]

Katie!

Don't go in there. Hugs, not drugs.

But nothing more than hugs.

What are you guys doing here?

We can discuss that later.

Katie, we need to talk about your behavior lately.

But this is not about punishment.

We just... we want you to be okay.

I'm fine.

Oh, good.

Now it's about punishment.

How did you even know where I w...

- [cell phone beeps] - Katie has arrived at 91...

You're tracking me?

Mm, not you, actually. Your... your phone.

Katie, if we weren't tracking you,

how would we have stopped you

from going into the evil drug man's apartment?

Is that him? Is that the drug man?

Um, Mel, baby, you okay?

You must be Runyen's parents.

Whoa! How fun is this?

It is so nice to finally meet you.

Boy, Runyen is a delightful kid.

- I'm Joyce. - He's... he's a...

We've been meaning to have you over for lunch...

He's sharp as a tack.

- He's very polite. - Or brunch or...

- Delightful. - "Food in the day" thing.

I'm Mel.

Henry had a hard time sleeping,

and he wanted to go home.

So I called Katie to come get me.

Oh, so you only left Morgan's because...

Yep.

- You were gonna bring him... - Uh-huh.

He didn't want you guys to show up and make a scene

- like you did last night. - [Chuckles]

And yet, here you are.

[Scoffs]

He's the easier one.

I was happy to be back

in the predictable weirdness that was my family.

- Kitty-Kat... - Katie, sweetie...

Nope.

That night taught me that if someone's predictable,

it also means, in a weird way...

you can depend on them...

[Elvis whimpers]

And trust that they can take care of themselves.

Or you.

Good boy.

Oh, sure, Katie was upset at first,

but it didn't last the way I would've predicted...

You know they just did that because they...

Oh, I know.

And you know I have to milk this for a little while.

Makes sense.

- I'm gonna go order pizza. - Okay.

Because that night she learned

that even with all the stuff mom and dad were going through,

she could still trust them to take care of her.

[whispering] Is that too much?

- Seemed right. - Okay.

- synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com -