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1
00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:07,675
So, are the teamsters
gonna settle this thing
2
00:00:07,775 --> 00:00:08,976
with the film commission,
or what?
3
00:00:09,077 --> 00:00:10,211
It's hard to say, Mike.
4
00:00:10,311 --> 00:00:11,979
I don't think they
take us seriously
as mediators.
5
00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:12,980
That's ridiculous.
6
00:00:13,081 --> 00:00:14,448
(EXHALES)
We represent the Mayor.
7
00:00:14,548 --> 00:00:15,849
We should
always be
taken seriously.
8
00:00:15,949 --> 00:00:17,017
Okay.
NIKKI: Go!
9
00:00:17,118 --> 00:00:19,753
(ALL YELLING)
10
00:00:19,853 --> 00:00:22,256
MIKE: Yes! We got 'em!
We got 'em!
11
00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:24,258
Whoa!
12
00:00:24,358 --> 00:00:25,593
We're gonna take you!
13
00:00:26,260 --> 00:00:27,428
Janelle!
14
00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:30,364
Bear right, bear right!
Bear right!
15
00:00:30,464 --> 00:00:32,333
We're gonna win,
we're gonna win!
16
00:00:32,433 --> 00:00:33,401
Oh, Mike.
Yes, sir!
17
00:00:33,501 --> 00:00:34,802
(PAUL SCREAMING)
18
00:00:34,902 --> 00:00:36,070
(CRASHING)
19
00:00:40,208 --> 00:00:41,342
Am I interrupting
something?
20
00:00:41,442 --> 00:00:42,710
Oh, no.
Just business, sir.
21
00:00:42,810 --> 00:00:44,112
(GROANING)
22
00:00:44,212 --> 00:00:45,446
PAUL: It hurts!
23
00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:47,748
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
24
00:01:07,868 --> 00:01:10,138
On a plus note,
I think we should all
applaud James
25
00:01:10,238 --> 00:01:11,739
for his plan
to distribute pamphlets
26
00:01:11,839 --> 00:01:13,574
to homeless people,
letting them know
27
00:01:13,674 --> 00:01:15,209
the locations
of shelters
28
00:01:15,309 --> 00:01:16,977
during these
cold winter months.
29
00:01:17,145 --> 00:01:18,246
Thanks, Mike.
30
00:01:18,346 --> 00:01:19,847
On a minus note, James,
31
00:01:19,947 --> 00:01:21,149
your plan to mail
32
00:01:21,215 --> 00:01:22,750
the pamphlets
to the homeless...
33
00:01:28,156 --> 00:01:29,890
Seems to have
some flaws.
34
00:01:30,824 --> 00:01:32,726
I can't believe
the Mayor's book
35
00:01:32,826 --> 00:01:34,828
is still on
the best-seller list.
36
00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:37,198
So were you reading
the paper during
the entire morning meeting,
37
00:01:37,298 --> 00:01:38,699
or just this last part?
38
00:01:38,799 --> 00:01:39,867
Huh?
39
00:01:41,369 --> 00:01:42,470
You know, the publishers
have already signed
40
00:01:42,570 --> 00:01:43,604
the Mayor
to write another one.
41
00:01:43,704 --> 00:01:45,539
I know. I convinced him
to skip
42
00:01:45,639 --> 00:01:46,874
the ghostwriter this time,
43
00:01:46,974 --> 00:01:48,476
just write it himself.
44
00:01:50,178 --> 00:01:51,412
What?
45
00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:54,014
Paul, the Mayor
doesn't write.
46
00:01:54,182 --> 00:01:55,183
Ever?
47
00:01:55,216 --> 00:01:56,184
For his speeches
we have James,
48
00:01:56,284 --> 00:01:57,585
for his correspondence
we have Janelle,
49
00:01:57,685 --> 00:01:59,887
and for his signature
we have a really cool
rubber stamp.
50
00:02:01,389 --> 00:02:03,191
So that personal note I got
51
00:02:03,224 --> 00:02:04,692
from him on my birthday...
52
00:02:14,235 --> 00:02:16,570
Mike, maybe we should let
the Mayor try to write it.
53
00:02:16,670 --> 00:02:18,272
The last thing the Mayor
wrote by himself
54
00:02:18,372 --> 00:02:19,873
was his mother's eulogy.
55
00:02:21,074 --> 00:02:23,644
His mother's rhyming eulogy.
56
00:02:25,513 --> 00:02:27,548
Funerals are a great place
to meet women.
57
00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:29,317
I mean, if a guy dies,
you know there's gotta be
58
00:02:29,417 --> 00:02:30,751
at least one
single chick there.
59
00:02:33,554 --> 00:02:35,356
Excuse me.
60
00:02:35,456 --> 00:02:38,426
Uh, did someone here
destroy a chair
61
00:02:38,526 --> 00:02:40,694
on City Hall premises
this morning?
62
00:02:40,794 --> 00:02:42,730
Is whoever did it gonna
get in trouble?
63
00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:43,731
Uh-huh.
64
00:02:43,831 --> 00:02:45,599
Well, I'm not
gonna turn Paul in.
65
00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:49,403
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
First of all,
66
00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:51,572
those chairs
are clearly defective.
67
00:02:51,672 --> 00:02:54,875
The minute they hit
20 miles an hour,
the wheels fly off.
68
00:02:54,975 --> 00:02:56,810
Uh-huh.
69
00:02:58,078 --> 00:02:59,947
Nice humidor, sir.
70
00:03:00,047 --> 00:03:02,049
I got it at an auction.
71
00:03:02,149 --> 00:03:03,651
Belonged to Kennedy.
72
00:03:04,452 --> 00:03:05,853
Very pricey.
73
00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:08,155
I'm sure
it was worth it.
74
00:03:08,256 --> 00:03:10,391
I mean,
after all, it is a...
75
00:03:10,491 --> 00:03:11,992
Wooden box.
76
00:03:13,894 --> 00:03:15,162
So how goes
the book, sir?
77
00:03:15,263 --> 00:03:18,299
Oh, wonderful. I'll tell you
one thing about writing, Mike,
78
00:03:18,399 --> 00:03:20,067
I can't do it.
79
00:03:20,167 --> 00:03:21,369
It's no problem, sir.
80
00:03:21,469 --> 00:03:23,371
You just give them
back the money
from the advance.
81
00:03:23,471 --> 00:03:25,005
I can't.
82
00:03:25,105 --> 00:03:26,340
Why not?
83
00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:27,975
You did see
the humidor.
84
00:03:30,010 --> 00:03:31,579
Maybe I should just
call up the publishers
85
00:03:31,679 --> 00:03:32,746
and ask them what they want.
86
00:03:32,846 --> 00:03:34,282
I wouldn't do that, sir.
87
00:03:34,382 --> 00:03:35,716
Mike? He's here.
88
00:03:35,816 --> 00:03:37,818
Listen, I have kind of
a pressing appointment,
89
00:03:37,918 --> 00:03:39,787
but I thought you might
run into a roadblock,
90
00:03:39,887 --> 00:03:41,722
so I asked someone
to drop by.
91
00:03:41,822 --> 00:03:43,391
Hello, sir.
Mike.
92
00:03:45,359 --> 00:03:46,427
Randall.
93
00:03:46,527 --> 00:03:47,661
Donald!
94
00:03:47,761 --> 00:03:49,297
Mr. Trump here wrote
The Art of the Deal,
95
00:03:49,397 --> 00:03:51,665
then he wrote
a new best seller,
The Art of the Comeback.
96
00:03:51,765 --> 00:03:53,834
Two Books. Wow!
97
00:03:55,303 --> 00:03:56,437
Well, sit down.
98
00:04:01,942 --> 00:04:03,844
Well, that must
have been...
99
00:04:06,046 --> 00:04:08,482
Tough coming up
with that much material.
100
00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:10,484
No.
101
00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:12,653
It must have been hard
getting started though, right?
102
00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:14,322
First day, nine chapters.
103
00:04:15,623 --> 00:04:16,957
Nine chapters.
104
00:04:18,191 --> 00:04:20,961
You should call
your next book
The Art of Not Helping.
105
00:04:24,965 --> 00:04:27,768
So, Doc.
You married?
106
00:04:27,868 --> 00:04:30,338
No, I haven't met
the right girl yet.
107
00:04:30,438 --> 00:04:32,506
Bit of advice?
When you do,
108
00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:34,442
you might wanna go
with a lighter touch.
109
00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:41,682
So...
110
00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:44,718
Is there anything else
besides trouble urinating?
111
00:04:44,818 --> 00:04:46,354
Amazingly, I've been
able to panic
112
00:04:46,454 --> 00:04:48,155
with just
the one symptom.
113
00:04:48,255 --> 00:04:49,890
Well, having trouble
urinating
114
00:04:49,990 --> 00:04:51,859
should always send up
a red flag.
115
00:04:51,959 --> 00:04:54,595
Do you have to, uh,
do you have to say
116
00:04:54,695 --> 00:04:56,630
"trouble urinating"
in front of...
117
00:04:56,730 --> 00:04:59,199
Samantha.
Samantha. Thank you.
118
00:04:59,367 --> 00:05:00,901
Couldn't you
mask that a little?
119
00:05:01,001 --> 00:05:02,035
Couldn't you, you know,
120
00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:04,872
say "trouble drawing water
from the well"?
121
00:05:06,239 --> 00:05:08,376
If you wanna get technical,
"trouble making wee wee"?
122
00:05:08,409 --> 00:05:11,845
Now, look.
Just because we're
talking about your prostate,
123
00:05:11,945 --> 00:05:13,447
I don't want you
to immediately
assume the worst.
124
00:05:13,547 --> 00:05:16,450
Hey, listen,
I love talking
about my prostate.
125
00:05:18,018 --> 00:05:19,920
It's a real icebreaker
at parties.
126
00:05:21,789 --> 00:05:23,524
Mr. Flaherty...
127
00:05:23,624 --> 00:05:26,126
Doc, I have
to assume the worst.
128
00:05:26,226 --> 00:05:28,596
(GRUNTS) It's the kind
of guy I am.
129
00:05:28,696 --> 00:05:31,799
Fine. Cancer is a possibility.
130
00:05:31,899 --> 00:05:34,668
Wow. Okay, uh...
131
00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:38,939
Wow. I can't believe
I could have...
132
00:05:39,039 --> 00:05:40,708
I know this must be
really difficult for you.
133
00:05:40,808 --> 00:05:42,610
I know it's hard
to even say the word.
134
00:05:42,710 --> 00:05:44,545
No, I can say cancer.
135
00:05:44,645 --> 00:05:46,046
That's my sign.
136
00:05:47,715 --> 00:05:49,517
I just can't have cancer.
137
00:05:49,617 --> 00:05:52,420
I'll know a lot more when
I get the PSA tests
back tomorrow.
138
00:05:52,453 --> 00:05:54,888
Just leave us
a urine sample
before you go.
139
00:05:54,988 --> 00:05:56,957
Oh, I always do,
140
00:05:57,057 --> 00:05:58,426
Whether you ask
for one or not.
141
00:06:00,060 --> 00:06:01,795
Paul, is Mike back yet?
142
00:06:01,895 --> 00:06:02,930
No, no, no,
he's not, sir.
143
00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:04,197
Listen, sir.
If you need any help
144
00:06:04,297 --> 00:06:05,433
with your literary
undertaking,
145
00:06:05,466 --> 00:06:07,435
I'd be more than happy
to lend my services.
146
00:06:07,468 --> 00:06:08,736
Well, thank you, Paul.
Maybe I'll have you
147
00:06:08,836 --> 00:06:09,970
Xerox some stuff
for me.
148
00:06:10,070 --> 00:06:11,639
(CHUCKLES)
That's very funny.
149
00:06:11,739 --> 00:06:12,740
No, but seriously, sir.
150
00:06:12,840 --> 00:06:14,808
I just wanted
to let you know
151
00:06:14,908 --> 00:06:16,944
that I really loved
your last book,
152
00:06:17,044 --> 00:06:19,480
even though
I was the only one
of your staff
153
00:06:19,580 --> 00:06:21,248
who wasn't mentioned.
154
00:06:21,348 --> 00:06:23,283
Weren't you in the picture
from the Christmas party?
155
00:06:23,451 --> 00:06:25,453
No, I was
the unidentified man
156
00:06:25,486 --> 00:06:28,722
standing next
to the Mayor's chauffeur,
Klaus Spergan.
157
00:06:30,090 --> 00:06:32,626
Klaus, now he had
some good stories.
158
00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:34,194
Oh, come on,
Mr. Mayor, please!
159
00:06:34,294 --> 00:06:36,864
Use me. I'm sure that
my stories
160
00:06:36,964 --> 00:06:39,232
are every bit as interesting
and exciting as his.
161
00:06:39,332 --> 00:06:41,669
You know,
Klaus used to be
Jimmy Hoffa's driver.
162
00:06:41,769 --> 00:06:43,771
I'm gonna get some water.
163
00:06:45,939 --> 00:06:48,008
Remember that guy Mark
from Alaska?
164
00:06:48,108 --> 00:06:49,477
He said, "I will
call you tomorrow."
165
00:06:49,577 --> 00:06:50,911
that was like a month ago.
166
00:06:51,011 --> 00:06:53,647
Sometimes in Alaska
the sun never sets,
167
00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:55,483
and so his tomorrow
168
00:06:56,717 --> 00:06:58,786
could be your February.
169
00:07:03,491 --> 00:07:04,892
Mike, Mike,
we have a problem.
170
00:07:04,992 --> 00:07:07,728
The printer that we wanted
for the superintendent's
banquet
171
00:07:07,828 --> 00:07:09,129
won't go down
on his price.
172
00:07:09,229 --> 00:07:10,998
Maybe he should worry
a little less about money
173
00:07:11,098 --> 00:07:12,933
and a little more about
what's truly important,
174
00:07:13,033 --> 00:07:16,069
Like love, family.
175
00:07:16,169 --> 00:07:17,505
The beauty in nature.
176
00:07:17,605 --> 00:07:19,840
Mike, I set up
the interview for you
and the Mayor tomorrow.
177
00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:22,610
Oh, and he wants
to see you the second
you get back.
178
00:07:22,710 --> 00:07:24,578
Second I get back.
179
00:07:25,913 --> 00:07:27,681
Well, Stacey,
you know that second?
180
00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:29,983
That second's already gone.
181
00:07:30,083 --> 00:07:31,284
(SNAPS FINGERS)
182
00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:34,021
(SNAPS FINGERS)
183
00:07:34,121 --> 00:07:35,656
And another one.
184
00:07:37,625 --> 00:07:38,659
That was two.
185
00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:56,309
Hello.
186
00:08:00,548 --> 00:08:02,349
Hello.
187
00:08:03,551 --> 00:08:05,018
"For assistance
ring bell."
188
00:08:07,655 --> 00:08:09,723
(BELL DINGS)
Yes, can I help you?
189
00:08:10,591 --> 00:08:11,792
We're here
about the chair.
190
00:08:11,892 --> 00:08:15,395
Unfortunately,
you've chosen to requisition
191
00:08:15,563 --> 00:08:19,667
one of the most elusive items
in my inventory.
192
00:08:19,767 --> 00:08:20,868
(BEEPING)
193
00:08:20,968 --> 00:08:23,103
Ah, that's Benjamin.
194
00:08:23,203 --> 00:08:24,738
(BEEPING)
195
00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:26,574
He's my Giga Pet.
196
00:08:28,676 --> 00:08:30,277
That's one of
those little toys.
197
00:08:30,377 --> 00:08:32,379
Oh, it's no toy.
198
00:08:32,479 --> 00:08:35,482
His needs are every bit
as real as yours or mine.
199
00:08:35,583 --> 00:08:39,419
He has to eat, sleep, play,
and be disciplined.
200
00:08:40,387 --> 00:08:42,055
(COOING) Oh, yes, you do.
201
00:08:43,624 --> 00:08:45,993
Didn't I flush
your head
in high school?
202
00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:49,797
Huh?
203
00:08:49,897 --> 00:08:52,432
That's very funny.
204
00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:55,068
Maybe you can think
of more funny things
205
00:08:55,168 --> 00:08:57,605
while you're standing
next to your desk.
206
00:08:58,806 --> 00:08:59,873
This guy's good.
207
00:09:03,310 --> 00:09:06,146
Stacey,
is Mike in there?
208
00:09:06,246 --> 00:09:07,948
And if so,
why isn't he
in my office?
209
00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:10,150
Well, Mike told me
that if he wasn't
in his office,
210
00:09:10,250 --> 00:09:11,484
he'd be in your office.
211
00:09:11,619 --> 00:09:12,653
Oh.
212
00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:17,725
Where do I go?
213
00:09:23,997 --> 00:09:25,866
(GRUNTS)
214
00:09:25,966 --> 00:09:27,635
We're in the middle
of a crisis here!
215
00:09:27,668 --> 00:09:30,337
Yeah, okay, Well,
then lock the door
and turn out the lights.
216
00:09:30,437 --> 00:09:32,640
I called my publisher.
217
00:09:32,673 --> 00:09:34,107
I told you not
to do that, sir.
218
00:09:34,207 --> 00:09:37,310
Well, I needed
a little direction,
and they panicked!
219
00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:38,979
They wanna see
some pages tomorrow.
220
00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:41,749
Did they specify whether
the pages had to have
any writing on them?
221
00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:45,953
Come on, Mike.
How are you gonna
fix this for me?
222
00:09:46,053 --> 00:09:48,488
With all
due respect, sir,
you made your bed.
223
00:09:48,656 --> 00:09:49,923
You gotta lie in it.
224
00:09:50,023 --> 00:09:53,060
Look, Mike,
I'm telling you
that I need you,
225
00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:55,162
And I don't think
I'm out of line
226
00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:56,964
to expect
your help here.
227
00:09:58,498 --> 00:10:01,134
Maybe it's not fair,
but that's why
you're here.
228
00:10:01,234 --> 00:10:04,004
You're my deputy.
Now come on, let's
make a night of it.
229
00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:05,505
It'll be fun.
230
00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:08,108
You don't need a jacket.
My office is warm enough.
231
00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:13,681
Good night, Mr. Mayor.
232
00:10:13,781 --> 00:10:15,182
Mike!
233
00:10:17,484 --> 00:10:19,452
Guess it's just you
and me tonight, sir.
234
00:10:28,528 --> 00:10:30,297
Morning, Janelle.
I said I'd drop by early
235
00:10:30,397 --> 00:10:31,598
and help the Mayor
with his book.
236
00:10:31,699 --> 00:10:33,767
Actually, Mike,
he's asleep.
237
00:10:33,867 --> 00:10:35,335
Come on, Janelle.
We're hours away
238
00:10:35,435 --> 00:10:37,137
from the Mayor's
nap time.
239
00:10:37,237 --> 00:10:39,907
I'm not kidding, Mike.
He was up all night
worrying about his book.
240
00:10:40,007 --> 00:10:41,441
Did he write anything?
241
00:10:43,076 --> 00:10:45,245
"Tell Mike I'm asleep
because I was up
all night
242
00:10:45,345 --> 00:10:46,680
"worrying about the book."
243
00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:49,016
Do I hear movie rights?
244
00:10:49,116 --> 00:10:50,550
Thanks, Janelle.
245
00:10:56,690 --> 00:10:58,892
Did he look like
he felt guilty?
246
00:10:58,992 --> 00:11:00,560
I don't know.
247
00:11:00,728 --> 00:11:02,830
Well, did you
tell him I was up
all night worrying?
248
00:11:02,930 --> 00:11:05,365
I told him.
Listen, Mr. Mayor,
249
00:11:05,465 --> 00:11:06,867
I don't like lying
for you.
250
00:11:06,967 --> 00:11:09,837
I know, Janelle,
and I don't like you
having to lie for me.
251
00:11:09,937 --> 00:11:11,038
I am so sorry.
252
00:11:12,472 --> 00:11:13,974
It's okay, sir.
Good.
253
00:11:16,844 --> 00:11:18,245
Oh, cancel my dinner
for tonight.
254
00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:20,547
I don't care
what excuse you use.
Just make something up.
255
00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:24,752
We still haven't gotten
any chairs?
256
00:11:24,785 --> 00:11:26,253
We are splitting this one.
257
00:11:27,788 --> 00:11:29,890
So come on, ladies.
Out with it.
258
00:11:30,657 --> 00:11:32,559
Whose butt takes up
more space?
259
00:11:37,630 --> 00:11:39,466
It's like a chess game.
260
00:11:39,566 --> 00:11:41,368
You have to learn
to think ahead.
261
00:11:41,468 --> 00:11:42,502
(KEYS JINGLE)
262
00:11:42,602 --> 00:11:45,305
Hey, Mike.
263
00:11:45,405 --> 00:11:47,775
Can you believe
the size of this thing?
264
00:11:49,777 --> 00:11:52,245
It there's anybody
in the stalls,
265
00:11:52,345 --> 00:11:54,214
he's talking about
his toothbrush.
266
00:12:02,489 --> 00:12:06,059
You know,
it's a funny thing.
267
00:12:06,159 --> 00:12:08,161
The Mayor and I
were once
at this fundraiser.
268
00:12:08,261 --> 00:12:10,798
And you think
it would be perfect
for the Mayor's book.
269
00:12:10,864 --> 00:12:13,433
Oh, Mike, would it hurt
so much for him to put me in?
270
00:12:13,533 --> 00:12:15,702
One funny anecdote,
one mention of me,
271
00:12:15,803 --> 00:12:18,405
and the whole world
will want to read
about my life.
272
00:12:18,505 --> 00:12:20,107
I already got
a title for it.
273
00:12:20,207 --> 00:12:21,541
The Paul Lassiter Story.
274
00:12:21,641 --> 00:12:23,877
Why don't you just save
yourself some time
275
00:12:23,977 --> 00:12:26,279
and call it
The 99 Cent Bin?
276
00:12:34,221 --> 00:12:37,290
Listen, I'll talk
to the Mayor later,
and I'll, uh...
277
00:12:42,529 --> 00:12:44,197
I'll put in a good word.
278
00:12:49,469 --> 00:12:51,138
Paul, what are you
looking at?
279
00:12:51,238 --> 00:12:53,040
What, you got
stage fright
or something?
280
00:12:54,842 --> 00:12:57,744
I'm sorry. Were you
expecting a show?
281
00:12:57,845 --> 00:13:00,280
I was expecting tinkling,
and I got curious.
282
00:13:04,885 --> 00:13:07,620
Look, sometimes
I... I just
283
00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:09,857
have a little trouble
getting started,
all right?
284
00:13:09,890 --> 00:13:11,859
Gee, that sounds serious.
285
00:13:11,925 --> 00:13:14,527
All right, Paul.
If you don't
stop staring,
286
00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:16,329
I'm gonna hit you
over the head with it.
287
00:13:21,168 --> 00:13:22,069
What, that's it?
288
00:13:22,169 --> 00:13:23,871
You're just gonna
give up like that?
289
00:13:23,971 --> 00:13:26,106
What are you,
Knute Rockne?
290
00:13:29,109 --> 00:13:30,577
I don't need
a pep talk here,
okay?
291
00:13:30,677 --> 00:13:32,245
Mike, you should
see someone!
292
00:13:32,345 --> 00:13:33,546
I already did!
293
00:13:35,782 --> 00:13:37,284
I'm waiting to hear.
294
00:13:39,286 --> 00:13:40,888
Paul, if you breathe
a word of this
to anybody...
295
00:13:40,988 --> 00:13:43,156
No one, no one, no one.
I'm just glad
that you were able
296
00:13:43,256 --> 00:13:46,626
to respect me enough
to share it with me.
297
00:13:46,726 --> 00:13:48,328
No problem, buddy.
298
00:13:58,939 --> 00:14:01,909
(SULTRY VOICE)
Hi. I'm Nikki.
299
00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:04,011
Be sexy.
300
00:14:05,412 --> 00:14:06,947
I'm being sexy.
301
00:14:07,047 --> 00:14:08,548
That works for you?
302
00:14:09,917 --> 00:14:11,451
Watch and learn.
303
00:14:15,155 --> 00:14:16,623
So...
304
00:14:16,723 --> 00:14:18,926
What you doing, Walter?
305
00:14:18,992 --> 00:14:21,361
Smelling the markers.
306
00:14:21,461 --> 00:14:24,297
It's the only way to tell
if they're truly fresh.
307
00:14:32,505 --> 00:14:34,007
Forget about
the markers.
308
00:14:35,342 --> 00:14:36,409
I...
309
00:14:38,045 --> 00:14:40,147
I've met a lot
of men in my day,
310
00:14:40,247 --> 00:14:43,283
but none of them,
none of them haunt me
311
00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:45,085
the way you do.
312
00:14:46,086 --> 00:14:48,521
How about giving
a nice girl a chance?
313
00:14:49,522 --> 00:14:50,657
And a chair?
314
00:14:51,959 --> 00:14:54,127
N-I, darling.
315
00:14:54,761 --> 00:14:56,496
Not interested.
316
00:15:00,267 --> 00:15:02,635
Well, that
was educational.
317
00:15:03,536 --> 00:15:06,173
Clearly we are not
what he is looking for.
318
00:15:15,315 --> 00:15:16,416
Hi, there.
319
00:15:17,985 --> 00:15:20,087
Is this about the chair?
320
00:15:20,187 --> 00:15:22,255
This is about
you and me.
321
00:15:24,992 --> 00:15:26,626
It is?
322
00:15:26,726 --> 00:15:28,095
Walter,
323
00:15:28,195 --> 00:15:31,598
I was hoping
maybe you and I
could, uh...
324
00:15:33,466 --> 00:15:36,369
You know, perhaps
we might, uh...
325
00:15:37,504 --> 00:15:38,905
(CLEARS THROAT)
If you'll excuse me,
326
00:15:39,006 --> 00:15:41,674
I just hit a new low,
and I really need
to go examine my life.
327
00:15:45,178 --> 00:15:47,480
Hey, Mike, aren't you
supposed to be at that
interview with the Mayor?
328
00:15:47,580 --> 00:15:50,583
No, that hasn't
started yet.
The Mayor's asleep.
329
00:15:50,683 --> 00:15:52,819
No, he's not.
He just went
into his office.
330
00:15:52,919 --> 00:15:55,155
No, that can't be.
He's napping.
331
00:15:55,255 --> 00:15:57,290
He was up all night.
He was working on his book.
332
00:15:57,390 --> 00:16:00,360
Last night? No, he left
five minutes after you did.
333
00:16:03,096 --> 00:16:05,198
Stacey, do you mind?
'Cause I'm getting
a little dizzy here.
334
00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:10,403
Besides, maybe, maybe
you only thought
he left, hmm?
335
00:16:10,503 --> 00:16:12,539
Maybe.
336
00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:15,375
But I doubt it,
'cause he gave me
a ride home.
337
00:16:19,379 --> 00:16:21,048
And it cost me
a fortune, too.
338
00:16:21,081 --> 00:16:22,849
(BOTH LAUGHING)
339
00:16:22,949 --> 00:16:24,217
Oh, you must be Mike.
340
00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:26,086
I'm Betty Simms
for the New York Examiner.
341
00:16:26,186 --> 00:16:28,721
Just a second, Betty.
342
00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:30,590
I'm sorry I'm late.
343
00:16:30,690 --> 00:16:32,559
I would have come sooner,
but I didn't want
344
00:16:32,659 --> 00:16:33,693
to interrupt your nap.
345
00:16:35,062 --> 00:16:36,563
That is, if you did
take a nap.
346
00:16:37,197 --> 00:16:38,398
Oh, I took one.
347
00:16:40,233 --> 00:16:41,334
So what's
this piece about?
348
00:16:41,434 --> 00:16:42,735
We're doing a feature
on the great
349
00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:44,337
power teams in New York.
350
00:16:44,437 --> 00:16:45,438
I was just telling Betty
351
00:16:45,538 --> 00:16:47,274
how we complement
each other's strengths.
352
00:16:47,374 --> 00:16:49,242
Oh, you mean
how one of us is
candid and forthcoming
353
00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:51,478
and the other is squirrely
and passive-aggressive?
354
00:16:52,945 --> 00:16:54,347
How does this work
day to day?
355
00:16:54,447 --> 00:16:57,384
Well, as the Mayor,
I sometimes look
to my deputy
356
00:16:57,484 --> 00:16:59,252
to assist me in some
trivial matter.
357
00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:01,088
That doesn't
sound unreasonable,
does it, Betty?
358
00:17:01,188 --> 00:17:04,224
No. No, not at all.
359
00:17:04,324 --> 00:17:07,094
Why'd you decide to go
into politics, Mr. Mayor?
360
00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:08,361
That's actually
a good story.
361
00:17:08,461 --> 00:17:10,263
I should put that
in my book.
362
00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:11,698
Yeah, that'll happen.
363
00:17:14,901 --> 00:17:17,104
Mr. Mayor,
I can imagine you're
under a lot of pressure
364
00:17:17,170 --> 00:17:19,939
with the enormous
responsibility of
running the city
365
00:17:20,107 --> 00:17:21,441
(SCOFFS)
366
00:17:25,145 --> 00:17:27,114
I'm sorry. Did you
say something, Mike?
367
00:17:27,180 --> 00:17:28,415
Oh, no,
not me, partner.
368
00:17:28,515 --> 00:17:30,283
Didn't think so,
teammate.
369
00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:31,984
Oh, picture.
370
00:17:37,957 --> 00:17:39,726
Do you believe this guy?
371
00:17:39,826 --> 00:17:43,363
No. He has absolutely
crossed the line.
372
00:17:43,463 --> 00:17:44,664
Who are we
talking about?
373
00:17:46,133 --> 00:17:47,567
The Mayor.
374
00:17:47,667 --> 00:17:49,769
He's mad at me
for not helping him
with his book.
375
00:17:49,869 --> 00:17:52,505
What the hell business
does this guy have
376
00:17:52,605 --> 00:17:54,941
writing an
autobiography,
anyway?
377
00:17:55,041 --> 00:17:57,344
I mean, that's something
you do at the end
of your life.
378
00:17:57,444 --> 00:17:58,945
He's too young for that.
379
00:17:59,045 --> 00:18:02,349
He shouldn't be
looking back, taking stock,
doubting choices
380
00:18:02,449 --> 00:18:04,984
I mean, he should be
looking ahead, damn it.
381
00:18:05,152 --> 00:18:07,154
I mean, he's sitting around
wondering what
the last chapter
382
00:18:07,254 --> 00:18:09,322
of his life is gonna be.
383
00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:10,723
The mayor is at the age
when he should be thinking
384
00:18:10,823 --> 00:18:13,693
about settling down,
raising a family.
385
00:18:14,161 --> 00:18:15,562
Fifty?
386
00:18:16,763 --> 00:18:19,166
Well, that's good news
for Nikki.
387
00:18:21,768 --> 00:18:25,805
Mike, I, uh...
I minored
in psychology.
388
00:18:27,006 --> 00:18:29,509
It's pretty clear
you're not talking
about the Mayor.
389
00:18:30,577 --> 00:18:32,179
You're talking
about yourself.
390
00:18:32,279 --> 00:18:33,680
I am not.
391
00:18:35,047 --> 00:18:36,749
Plus Paul told us.
392
00:18:40,287 --> 00:18:42,455
It was burning
a hole in me, Mike.
393
00:18:42,555 --> 00:18:44,291
Well, Paul,
a whole eight minutes.
394
00:18:44,391 --> 00:18:46,326
That's a new record
for you.
395
00:18:46,426 --> 00:18:48,195
Not really.
It only took him
four minutes
396
00:18:48,295 --> 00:18:49,629
to tell us that Carter
was an extra
397
00:18:49,729 --> 00:18:51,464
in the Buns of Steel video.
398
00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:58,338
Come on, Mike. Talk.
399
00:18:58,438 --> 00:18:59,939
Well, I've been thinking
about it a lot.
400
00:19:01,208 --> 00:19:02,575
I think it's
a good thing.
401
00:19:02,675 --> 00:19:05,512
This is
the most self-aware
I've been in years.
402
00:19:05,612 --> 00:19:07,680
It's a wake-up call
403
00:19:07,780 --> 00:19:09,716
to how I've been
living my life.
404
00:19:10,950 --> 00:19:12,118
It's the best thing
that ever happened to me.
405
00:19:12,219 --> 00:19:13,220
You're lying.
406
00:19:13,286 --> 00:19:14,921
I know. I'm so scared,
407
00:19:15,021 --> 00:19:16,256
I want to wet myself...
408
00:19:17,557 --> 00:19:18,791
But I can't.
409
00:19:24,297 --> 00:19:25,432
(CLEARS THROAT)
410
00:19:25,532 --> 00:19:26,499
Why don't you
fire her up,
411
00:19:26,599 --> 00:19:28,235
take her for a spin,
see how she feels?
412
00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:32,805
I just wanted
to see the world
the way you do, sir.
413
00:19:32,905 --> 00:19:33,906
And?
414
00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:35,107
And I like it.
415
00:19:36,042 --> 00:19:37,244
Now get out.
416
00:19:39,712 --> 00:19:41,080
You know, I'm afraid
that reporter's
417
00:19:41,248 --> 00:19:43,316
not gonna write
a very flattering piece
about us, Mike.
418
00:19:43,416 --> 00:19:47,254
Yeah, we did get
to a pretty petty
place this afternoon.
419
00:19:47,287 --> 00:19:48,388
No, I called her up later,
420
00:19:48,488 --> 00:19:50,056
and I said some more
nasty things about you.
421
00:19:51,458 --> 00:19:54,060
I know.
I was actually on hold
while you were talking.
422
00:19:56,463 --> 00:19:58,765
Well, that's all old news.
423
00:19:58,865 --> 00:20:00,800
We're okay now,
aren't we, sir?
(KNOCKS)
424
00:20:02,435 --> 00:20:05,505
Mike, why wouldn't
you tell me
425
00:20:05,605 --> 00:20:07,307
what you were
going through?
426
00:20:07,407 --> 00:20:08,608
How'd you hear?
427
00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:11,010
Well, I wouldn't
wanna betray
Paul's confidence.
428
00:20:12,545 --> 00:20:13,980
I just talked
to the doctor.
429
00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:16,649
Benign.
430
00:20:16,749 --> 00:20:20,520
Just your regular
garden-variety prostatitis.
431
00:20:20,620 --> 00:20:22,655
He said it was probably
brought on by stress.
432
00:20:22,755 --> 00:20:25,258
Stress. From what?
433
00:20:27,093 --> 00:20:29,329
I don't know, sir.
434
00:20:29,429 --> 00:20:31,230
I'm thinking maybe
it's my home life.
435
00:20:34,033 --> 00:20:36,769
Well, I can't tell you
how relieved I am.
436
00:20:37,904 --> 00:20:39,205
So...
437
00:20:39,306 --> 00:20:40,840
How are you
gonna celebrate?
438
00:20:40,940 --> 00:20:43,310
I figured I'd go out,
get a six-pack, drink it,
and pee like a race horse.
439
00:20:45,378 --> 00:20:47,947
Yeah. It's...
It's always
440
00:20:48,047 --> 00:20:51,117
about me first,
isn't it, Mike?
441
00:20:52,018 --> 00:20:53,286
I mean, your life,
your problems,
442
00:20:53,386 --> 00:20:54,887
they just never
seem to come up.
443
00:20:54,987 --> 00:20:57,156
Well, I don't
want it that way.
444
00:20:57,256 --> 00:20:59,191
This is
a two-way street.
445
00:20:59,292 --> 00:21:00,560
I insist upon it.
446
00:21:00,660 --> 00:21:02,228
It's a deal, sir.
447
00:21:02,329 --> 00:21:03,430
Now, about my book.
448
00:21:03,530 --> 00:21:05,332
Yeah, go ahead.
449
00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:10,503
Walter, you know
we're still
450
00:21:10,603 --> 00:21:11,904
waiting for those
two chairs.
451
00:21:12,004 --> 00:21:15,775
Uh, I'm afraid
that subject
is as closed
452
00:21:15,875 --> 00:21:19,045
as a number four
binder clip.
453
00:21:20,847 --> 00:21:23,350
It's a little
supply humor for you.
454
00:21:24,451 --> 00:21:26,185
(DEVICE BEEPING)
455
00:21:26,353 --> 00:21:27,954
Oh, no. Benjamin!
456
00:21:29,556 --> 00:21:31,257
What have you done
with him?
457
00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:36,696
I hate to see
anything suffer.
458
00:21:36,796 --> 00:21:38,264
And little Ben...
459
00:21:39,031 --> 00:21:40,833
He won't stop crying...
460
00:21:45,004 --> 00:21:47,374
Unless...
Tell him, Stuart.
461
00:21:47,474 --> 00:21:49,776
Unless I shake him!
462
00:21:49,876 --> 00:21:52,111
No, no, that's...
I'll get the chairs.
463
00:21:54,914 --> 00:21:56,683
Uh-oh.
464
00:21:56,783 --> 00:21:58,851
Can you give
these little fellas CPR?
33068
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