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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,308 --> 00:00:08,509 Michael? 2 00:00:08,976 --> 00:00:10,144 (WATER RUNNING) 3 00:00:11,045 --> 00:00:12,580 Michael? 4 00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:14,048 MIKE: (MUFFLED) I'm in the shower, Mom. 5 00:00:14,548 --> 00:00:16,050 Ready for brunch? 6 00:00:16,150 --> 00:00:17,418 Um, not unless the restaurant 7 00:00:17,518 --> 00:00:19,787 has an extremely loose dress code. 8 00:00:19,887 --> 00:00:21,755 Mind waiting for me in the living room? 9 00:00:21,855 --> 00:00:22,856 Not at all. 10 00:00:24,092 --> 00:00:27,061 You don't still make those silly shampoo horns, do you? 11 00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:32,800 No. 12 00:00:32,900 --> 00:00:34,902 You know, since your father and I haven't been married 13 00:00:35,002 --> 00:00:36,704 in a long time, 14 00:00:36,804 --> 00:00:40,108 I'm gonna move his picture a little bit further away from mine. 15 00:00:40,208 --> 00:00:41,575 Do whatever you want, Mom. 16 00:00:42,276 --> 00:00:43,477 (GLASS SHATTERING) 17 00:00:44,678 --> 00:00:47,548 I have double prints of everything. 18 00:00:47,648 --> 00:00:49,950 I can't tell you how much fun I'm having on this trip. 19 00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:52,853 Well, I can't tell you how much fun it's been having you here. 20 00:00:53,321 --> 00:00:54,522 Hi. 21 00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:57,325 Mom! 22 00:00:57,425 --> 00:00:58,592 When you were little, you used to prance around naked 23 00:00:58,692 --> 00:01:00,661 in front of me and beg me to dance. 24 00:01:00,761 --> 00:01:03,431 Okay, you know what? Every psychiatrist in the city 25 00:01:03,531 --> 00:01:05,233 just bolted right up out of bed. 26 00:01:08,402 --> 00:01:10,638 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 27 00:01:32,293 --> 00:01:34,862 Okay. Theme for today: Less is more. 28 00:01:34,962 --> 00:01:37,798 James, I think it's great that you're from Wisconsin. 29 00:01:37,898 --> 00:01:40,601 But in your speeches, less references to milking. 30 00:01:41,635 --> 00:01:43,036 Paul, less telling the press, 31 00:01:43,171 --> 00:01:45,773 "That sounds like something I should know." 32 00:01:48,276 --> 00:01:49,977 And, Stuart. Less... 33 00:01:51,379 --> 00:01:52,580 Just less. 34 00:01:53,414 --> 00:01:54,782 I am sorry I'm late. 35 00:01:54,882 --> 00:01:56,850 They set up metal detectors out there. 36 00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:58,085 I mean, I'm used to being frisked, 37 00:01:58,186 --> 00:02:00,221 but usually it's by a stranger on the subway. 38 00:02:01,088 --> 00:02:02,190 I love the subway. 39 00:02:04,492 --> 00:02:06,327 Sometimes in a crowded car, 40 00:02:06,427 --> 00:02:08,396 if you position yourself just right, 41 00:02:08,496 --> 00:02:09,497 when the train lurches... 42 00:02:09,597 --> 00:02:10,798 Less, Stuart. 43 00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:12,966 So why the increased security? 44 00:02:13,066 --> 00:02:15,035 Paul, every government building in New York city 45 00:02:15,203 --> 00:02:16,437 is beefing up its security. 46 00:02:16,537 --> 00:02:19,207 See, that sounds like something I should know. 47 00:02:21,209 --> 00:02:22,310 Of course you should. 48 00:02:22,410 --> 00:02:23,577 The press has been milking this like a 49 00:02:23,677 --> 00:02:25,213 prize-winning Guernsey. 50 00:02:26,414 --> 00:02:28,115 Does no one here pay any attention to me? 51 00:02:29,717 --> 00:02:31,819 Hi. Hey, Ms. Flaherty. 52 00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:34,121 I found this gun lying in the hallway. 53 00:02:35,456 --> 00:02:37,625 Yeah. That's part of a new program. 54 00:02:37,725 --> 00:02:39,059 We're handing one out to every kid 55 00:02:39,227 --> 00:02:40,261 who turns in a textbook. 56 00:02:42,129 --> 00:02:44,232 Hey, uh, Stacey. You want to send Hank in here? 57 00:02:44,332 --> 00:02:45,566 Oh, no. Go easy on Hank. 58 00:02:45,666 --> 00:02:47,601 He's old, but he's still a good security guard. 59 00:02:47,701 --> 00:02:49,069 Is it okay to wake him? 60 00:02:50,137 --> 00:02:52,806 Just whisper, "the donuts are here." 61 00:02:52,906 --> 00:02:54,608 I'm watching you guys run a city. 62 00:02:54,708 --> 00:02:56,510 This is very exciting. 63 00:02:56,610 --> 00:02:59,347 Yeah, sometimes I have to pinch myself. 64 00:02:59,447 --> 00:03:02,149 All right, Mommy. Right here in the big chair. Come on. 65 00:03:02,250 --> 00:03:03,451 Here we go. Okay. 66 00:03:03,551 --> 00:03:05,286 Now let's do it just like we practiced this morning. 67 00:03:05,386 --> 00:03:07,421 Okay. All right. 68 00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:10,358 Okay. Who has the first order of business? 69 00:03:13,261 --> 00:03:15,896 James. What was Mike like as a boy? 70 00:03:15,996 --> 00:03:17,665 Very much as he is right now. 71 00:03:17,765 --> 00:03:20,268 Of course, in the sandbox, he didn't wear a suit. 72 00:03:20,368 --> 00:03:21,435 Slacks and a tie. 73 00:03:23,136 --> 00:03:26,274 Okay, James, let's practice our ESP. 74 00:03:26,374 --> 00:03:29,877 Do I want you to ask questions about what I was like as a boy, 75 00:03:29,977 --> 00:03:32,313 or do I want you to concentrate on city business? 76 00:03:32,413 --> 00:03:33,914 (INAUDIBLE STRAINING) 77 00:03:35,283 --> 00:03:36,183 City business. 78 00:03:36,284 --> 00:03:37,285 Ah! 79 00:03:37,351 --> 00:03:38,352 That's uncanny. 80 00:03:40,321 --> 00:03:41,855 Michael, don't be mean. 81 00:03:41,955 --> 00:03:44,792 Hey, Mom, can I have a sidebar, please? 82 00:03:44,892 --> 00:03:46,427 (WHISPERING) You're undermining... 83 00:03:46,527 --> 00:03:48,862 I'm not undermining your authority. 84 00:03:48,962 --> 00:03:51,164 Okay. Do you not understand the concept of a sidebar? 85 00:03:53,301 --> 00:03:54,502 Yes, Mr. Flaherty. 86 00:03:54,602 --> 00:03:56,804 Oh, Hank. Hey, are you missing something? 87 00:03:58,038 --> 00:03:59,106 Shooter! 88 00:03:59,206 --> 00:04:01,842 Relax, big fella. Here you go. 89 00:04:01,942 --> 00:04:04,578 And, uh, should this ever happen for real, 90 00:04:04,678 --> 00:04:06,414 that's the wrong guy to jump in front of. 91 00:04:11,419 --> 00:04:13,321 You don't think going on a blind date is too desperate? 92 00:04:13,421 --> 00:04:15,222 No. No. 93 00:04:16,457 --> 00:04:18,191 A little. 94 00:04:18,326 --> 00:04:21,028 I'd do it, too, if only my pride would let me. 95 00:04:22,796 --> 00:04:24,197 Well, it's only lunch, you know, 96 00:04:24,332 --> 00:04:25,966 and my friend said that he's in the entertainment business, 97 00:04:26,066 --> 00:04:27,200 so he's got to be at least interesting. 98 00:04:27,335 --> 00:04:28,902 I mean, what's the worst that could happen? 99 00:04:31,171 --> 00:04:32,840 (PUPPET VOICE) Hello, Nikki. 100 00:04:34,375 --> 00:04:38,178 This is Steve, and I'm Mr. Bungle. 101 00:04:38,346 --> 00:04:39,480 Shake. 102 00:04:45,719 --> 00:04:46,920 Mike, did you hear that the mayor of Miami 103 00:04:47,020 --> 00:04:48,989 finally made good on our playoff bet? 104 00:04:49,089 --> 00:04:50,791 I have waiting for me back at the mansion 105 00:04:50,891 --> 00:04:53,527 a 100-pound crate of alligator steaks. 106 00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:55,629 Well, you pace yourself, sir. 107 00:04:56,730 --> 00:04:58,432 Uh, can I ask you a question? 108 00:04:58,532 --> 00:04:59,633 Tastes like chicken, Mike. 109 00:05:01,068 --> 00:05:03,737 Actually, I was wondering if you were free for lunch. 110 00:05:03,837 --> 00:05:05,373 Um... Janelle? 111 00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:08,576 Am I free for lunch? 112 00:05:09,777 --> 00:05:11,379 Your schedule's wide open, Mr. Mayor. 113 00:05:11,479 --> 00:05:14,482 Janelle, you see, the ear tug followed by the nose indicator 114 00:05:14,582 --> 00:05:16,049 means get me out of this! 115 00:05:17,050 --> 00:05:19,653 I'm sorry, sir, but you keep changing the signals. 116 00:05:19,753 --> 00:05:21,088 Well, I... Sir? 117 00:05:21,188 --> 00:05:23,957 Before you have Janelle bunt... 118 00:05:24,057 --> 00:05:26,727 (CLEARS THROAT) I just had to cancel with my mom today, 119 00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:28,028 and I was just hoping 120 00:05:28,128 --> 00:05:30,598 you know, you'd be free to take her out to lunch. 121 00:05:30,698 --> 00:05:32,433 Lunch with Macy. Oh, I'd love to. 122 00:05:32,533 --> 00:05:34,201 Great. Hey, ma? Good news. 123 00:05:34,301 --> 00:05:36,837 The mayor has volunteered to take you to lunch. 124 00:05:36,937 --> 00:05:38,005 Oh, great. 125 00:05:38,105 --> 00:05:39,272 Hi, Macy. Hi. 126 00:05:39,407 --> 00:05:40,974 Of course, you could you know, still eat with me. 127 00:05:41,074 --> 00:05:44,077 I'm eating with the principal of P.S. 205. 128 00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:45,779 Well, what are they serving? 129 00:05:45,879 --> 00:05:48,281 What is it, Wednesday? Beanies and weenies. 130 00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:51,151 Can you beat that? 131 00:05:51,585 --> 00:05:52,986 You like 'gator? 132 00:05:53,954 --> 00:05:55,222 I'll make it up to you tonight, Mom. 133 00:05:55,322 --> 00:05:56,557 Okay, Baby. 134 00:05:56,657 --> 00:06:00,160 You know, it's amazing how well you two get along. 135 00:06:00,260 --> 00:06:02,229 You know, if you have pictures of a boy 136 00:06:02,329 --> 00:06:04,565 playing dress-up in his mom's closet, 137 00:06:04,665 --> 00:06:06,567 you can pretty much get him to do anything you want. 138 00:06:06,667 --> 00:06:07,835 (CHUCKLES) 139 00:06:07,935 --> 00:06:10,237 I learned that my first year as an assemblyman. 140 00:06:12,506 --> 00:06:14,875 Well, come on. Taxpayers' treat. 141 00:06:14,975 --> 00:06:16,544 Besides, it'll be nice to have a lunch 142 00:06:16,644 --> 00:06:18,679 that has nothing to do with business. 143 00:06:18,779 --> 00:06:21,114 Yeah, well, actually, I was hoping we could talk about integrating 144 00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:23,751 my company's software into your school system. 145 00:06:23,851 --> 00:06:24,852 Wonderful. 146 00:06:28,956 --> 00:06:30,123 I wish they would hurry up. 147 00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:32,192 Mike's got a conference call in three minutes. 148 00:06:32,292 --> 00:06:33,827 I really have to be at my desk! 149 00:06:33,927 --> 00:06:35,328 You should make it no problem. 150 00:06:35,963 --> 00:06:37,998 (BEEPING) 151 00:06:38,098 --> 00:06:40,468 Unless someone planted a letter opener on you. 152 00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:43,236 (SIGHS) 153 00:06:43,336 --> 00:06:45,172 Don't you have something better to do? 154 00:06:45,272 --> 00:06:47,240 Hmm... No. (SIGHS) 155 00:06:47,708 --> 00:06:49,510 Look. I'm sorry. 156 00:06:49,610 --> 00:06:52,112 You should make your conference call, no problem. 157 00:06:52,646 --> 00:06:54,181 (BEEPING) 158 00:06:54,281 --> 00:06:56,750 You wanna hurry it up? Some of us have work to do! 159 00:06:57,985 --> 00:06:59,553 I don't have time for this! 160 00:06:59,653 --> 00:07:00,854 Talk to him, okay? 161 00:07:00,954 --> 00:07:02,823 Hey, I've never seen her before in my life. Oh... 162 00:07:02,923 --> 00:07:04,492 You know, she looks dangerous. 163 00:07:04,892 --> 00:07:05,926 What can I do? 164 00:07:06,026 --> 00:07:07,995 Your job, man. For god sakes, stop her! 165 00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:10,030 I said freeze! (GUNSHOT) 166 00:07:10,130 --> 00:07:11,499 (ALL GASP) 167 00:07:23,611 --> 00:07:25,245 Hank... 168 00:07:25,345 --> 00:07:26,614 You're an animal. 169 00:07:29,216 --> 00:07:31,619 I cannot believe he actually fired his gun. 170 00:07:31,719 --> 00:07:34,888 I heard some poor guy standing near the candy machines got hit. 171 00:07:41,529 --> 00:07:44,532 When I bite into a York Peppermint Patty, 172 00:07:45,833 --> 00:07:47,000 I get shot. 173 00:07:50,538 --> 00:07:53,206 Hey, Paulie. I heard you were wounded 174 00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:55,242 defending the snack machine. 175 00:07:55,342 --> 00:07:58,612 I'm sorry, Mike. You're gonna have to direct your jibe into my good ear. 176 00:07:58,712 --> 00:08:00,280 (LOUDLY) He said he heard you were wounded... 177 00:08:00,380 --> 00:08:01,915 (YELLS) I heard him! 178 00:08:03,584 --> 00:08:05,653 I just had the best lunch date. 179 00:08:05,753 --> 00:08:11,058 Oh, that's right. I heard you're dating a ventriloquist. Score! 180 00:08:12,059 --> 00:08:13,460 You know, when I was a boy, 181 00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:18,398 I made a small foray into the world of ventriloquism. 182 00:08:18,566 --> 00:08:19,800 Why'd you give it up? 183 00:08:19,900 --> 00:08:21,234 (HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) Who says he did? 184 00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:23,436 (NORMAL VOICE) What? Who said that? 185 00:08:24,705 --> 00:08:26,774 I believe it was the great Paulo, 186 00:08:27,741 --> 00:08:30,410 ventriloquist and dummy in one. 187 00:08:31,679 --> 00:08:33,847 Hey, Hank. What you doing? 188 00:08:34,982 --> 00:08:36,584 Clearing out my locker. 189 00:08:37,217 --> 00:08:38,586 They fired me. 190 00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:41,789 Why'd they fire you? 191 00:08:42,155 --> 00:08:43,456 I shot Paul. 192 00:08:44,592 --> 00:08:46,059 Why'd they fire you? 193 00:08:48,929 --> 00:08:50,363 This is so sad. 194 00:08:50,463 --> 00:08:52,265 Yeah. Poor Hank. 195 00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:54,868 The man shot me in the head! 196 00:08:55,669 --> 00:08:57,605 Stop being so dramatic. 197 00:09:01,274 --> 00:09:03,143 Returning your mom, Mike, safe and sound. 198 00:09:03,243 --> 00:09:04,912 Same condition you gave her to me. 199 00:09:05,478 --> 00:09:06,747 Really? 200 00:09:06,847 --> 00:09:09,182 What's this, uh... What's this stain on her blouse? 201 00:09:09,750 --> 00:09:11,284 I told you he'd notice. 202 00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:13,353 It's drawn butter. We went for seafood. 203 00:09:13,453 --> 00:09:14,622 We had the best time. 204 00:09:14,655 --> 00:09:15,723 That's good, 'cause normally the mayor 205 00:09:15,823 --> 00:09:17,190 embarrasses everybody at the table 206 00:09:17,290 --> 00:09:20,060 by complaining that his twin lobsters look nothing alike. 207 00:09:21,128 --> 00:09:22,295 He did that. 208 00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:23,997 And she laughed. 209 00:09:24,097 --> 00:09:25,098 The first time. 210 00:09:25,833 --> 00:09:27,367 Well, I'd better get back to work. 211 00:09:27,467 --> 00:09:28,769 Thank you for lunch. 212 00:09:30,103 --> 00:09:31,905 Honey, the mayor has agreed... 213 00:09:32,005 --> 00:09:33,240 Hey, Mom, Mom. 214 00:09:33,340 --> 00:09:34,975 What are you, walking around New York city in this? 215 00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:36,409 It's cold out there. 216 00:09:36,509 --> 00:09:38,445 You'll freeze to death if you don't button that coat up. 217 00:09:38,545 --> 00:09:40,113 You wanna pin my mittens to me, too? 218 00:09:41,014 --> 00:09:41,882 If I gave you mittens, 219 00:09:41,982 --> 00:09:44,384 you would just trade them for candy. 220 00:09:44,484 --> 00:09:46,654 The Mayor has agreed to buy my software 221 00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:48,689 and put it in all the grade schools. 222 00:09:48,789 --> 00:09:51,659 Mom, slow down. Okay? It's not that easy. 223 00:09:51,692 --> 00:09:53,126 We're talking taxpayer money here. 224 00:09:53,226 --> 00:09:55,863 We got to talk to other computer companies, take other bids. 225 00:09:55,963 --> 00:09:57,264 Really? 226 00:09:57,364 --> 00:09:58,666 Nah, you're my mom. 227 00:09:58,732 --> 00:09:59,499 Oh! 228 00:09:59,667 --> 00:10:00,668 I'm so proud of you. 229 00:10:00,768 --> 00:10:01,735 Oh, thank you, honey. 230 00:10:01,835 --> 00:10:03,536 I couldn't have done it without you. 231 00:10:03,637 --> 00:10:05,272 You know, when your father ran off... 232 00:10:05,372 --> 00:10:08,642 Mom, I... I'm not bashing. Okay? 233 00:10:08,742 --> 00:10:12,279 I'm just saying that when he left me a shell of a woman, 234 00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:15,515 it was you who helped me pick up the pieces. 235 00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:17,818 You signed me up for those computer classes. 236 00:10:17,918 --> 00:10:19,286 It was you who argued with the teacher 237 00:10:19,386 --> 00:10:20,654 when he wanted to give me a "B". 238 00:10:20,754 --> 00:10:22,690 Hey, we both know we wrote an "A" paper. 239 00:10:22,790 --> 00:10:23,791 Yeah. 240 00:10:26,359 --> 00:10:27,627 (BOTH LAUGHING) 241 00:10:28,495 --> 00:10:30,163 You were so funny tonight. 242 00:10:30,263 --> 00:10:31,732 Oh, thank you. 243 00:10:32,299 --> 00:10:33,300 PUPPET VOICE: Thank you. 244 00:10:34,434 --> 00:10:35,402 You know what I just realized? 245 00:10:35,502 --> 00:10:37,705 Between the show and the party afterwards 246 00:10:37,805 --> 00:10:40,340 and the ride home, you have had Mr. Bungle 247 00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:42,609 on your arm the entire night. 248 00:10:45,178 --> 00:10:47,347 Why don't I just go ahead, and, uh, take him off. 249 00:10:47,447 --> 00:10:49,149 (PUPPET VOICE) Watch... Watch your hands. 250 00:10:55,689 --> 00:10:56,957 (SIGHS SOFTLY) 251 00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:05,298 So... I really liked the comedy club. 252 00:11:05,398 --> 00:11:08,736 What does it feel like having all those people laughing? 253 00:11:09,536 --> 00:11:10,804 Good. 254 00:11:14,574 --> 00:11:15,976 Well, I just loved it. 255 00:11:20,613 --> 00:11:22,315 Well, here I am just yammering on. 256 00:11:25,585 --> 00:11:27,420 You must be tired. 257 00:11:28,455 --> 00:11:29,757 Not really. 258 00:11:35,062 --> 00:11:36,096 So, you know what? 259 00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:37,264 It's late... Um... 260 00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:39,800 I should... I should probably just get going. 261 00:11:40,868 --> 00:11:42,069 (PUPPET VOICE) Wait. 262 00:11:46,006 --> 00:11:47,107 Nikki... 263 00:11:48,909 --> 00:11:51,845 You have to understand that sometimes it's hard for... 264 00:11:52,479 --> 00:11:53,781 (SARCASTICALLY) Steve... 265 00:11:56,483 --> 00:11:57,617 To find the words, 266 00:11:57,785 --> 00:11:59,419 but he would like you to know 267 00:11:59,519 --> 00:12:01,354 that he had a wonderful time tonight. 268 00:12:06,359 --> 00:12:07,795 Really? 269 00:12:07,895 --> 00:12:11,598 In fact, he's never met anyone like you. 270 00:12:11,698 --> 00:12:15,903 And if he could just get his heart to stop beating so fast 271 00:12:16,603 --> 00:12:17,871 he... 272 00:12:18,872 --> 00:12:23,310 Might be able to tell you himself. 273 00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:28,315 Oh. 274 00:12:29,616 --> 00:12:30,951 Steve... 275 00:12:37,657 --> 00:12:39,226 All right! 276 00:12:45,532 --> 00:12:48,836 Okay, Hank. We feel real bad about getting you fired. 277 00:12:48,869 --> 00:12:51,104 What about the man who told me to stop you? 278 00:12:51,204 --> 00:12:52,472 Who, Stuart? 279 00:12:52,572 --> 00:12:54,842 He has trouble accessing his guilt. 280 00:12:54,942 --> 00:12:56,844 It always comes out as laughter. 281 00:12:58,345 --> 00:13:00,313 But we're not gonna leave you hanging. 282 00:13:00,413 --> 00:13:02,850 Maybe we can help you get another city job. 283 00:13:02,883 --> 00:13:04,417 What are some of your interests? 284 00:13:04,517 --> 00:13:06,253 I like sitting. 285 00:13:06,353 --> 00:13:08,956 And shooting people. Maybe you could be a sniper! 286 00:13:09,056 --> 00:13:11,859 Would you stop it? He's a sweet old man. 287 00:13:11,959 --> 00:13:13,861 I mean, he's somebody's grandfather. 288 00:13:13,961 --> 00:13:15,228 Great-grandfather. 289 00:13:15,328 --> 00:13:16,729 Oh, good for you. 290 00:13:16,864 --> 00:13:18,231 He's adorable. 291 00:13:18,331 --> 00:13:19,399 He's the devil! 292 00:13:19,499 --> 00:13:20,467 You're the devil! 293 00:13:20,567 --> 00:13:21,869 Oh... Stop it! I can't take... 294 00:13:21,902 --> 00:13:24,604 Hey. This is a comfortable chair. 295 00:13:26,506 --> 00:13:28,108 STEVE: (PUPPET VOICE) So, where are you from? 296 00:13:28,208 --> 00:13:29,209 Wisconsin. 297 00:13:29,309 --> 00:13:30,477 I'm sorry? 298 00:13:30,577 --> 00:13:31,544 Wisconsin. 299 00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:33,280 I heard you. I'm just sorry. 300 00:13:34,882 --> 00:13:36,583 (SNORT LAUGHING) 301 00:13:36,683 --> 00:13:37,750 (CHUCKLES) 302 00:13:37,885 --> 00:13:39,219 Jeez, Nikki, uh... 303 00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:42,089 We got a kid's birthday party to go up to uptown. 304 00:13:42,956 --> 00:13:44,457 I'll see you around 7:00. 305 00:13:44,557 --> 00:13:46,226 Okay. Bye. 306 00:13:50,263 --> 00:13:51,965 Don't do it, don't do it. 307 00:13:52,065 --> 00:13:53,400 (PUPPET VOICE) Bye, Nikki. 308 00:14:01,074 --> 00:14:02,275 Hey, Nikki. 309 00:14:03,476 --> 00:14:05,045 Is one of those guys your boyfriend? 310 00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:09,582 I happen to like him, okay? He's funny, 311 00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:11,684 he's talented, and I have it on good authority 312 00:14:11,784 --> 00:14:13,420 he is making six figures. 313 00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:14,988 Yeah, but don't forget. 314 00:14:15,088 --> 00:14:16,456 He's splitting that two ways. 315 00:14:17,390 --> 00:14:18,791 Did anyone here see my mother? 316 00:14:18,926 --> 00:14:22,562 Wow. I know about a hundred jokes that start with that question. 317 00:14:22,662 --> 00:14:25,532 I thought you were looking a little panicky. 318 00:14:25,632 --> 00:14:27,134 Did you lose your mommy? 319 00:14:27,234 --> 00:14:29,202 All right, easy to make fun. 320 00:14:29,302 --> 00:14:31,704 My mom and I enjoy spending time together. Okay? 321 00:14:31,804 --> 00:14:34,541 We don't have a lot of issues like other families. 322 00:14:34,641 --> 00:14:36,776 A family without issues. I've heard of that. 323 00:14:36,944 --> 00:14:38,578 They're called strangers. 324 00:14:38,678 --> 00:14:41,548 We get along, okay? She's a great date. 325 00:14:41,648 --> 00:14:44,184 In fact, if she were younger and not my mother... 326 00:14:45,152 --> 00:14:46,353 Oh, yeah. No issues. 327 00:14:48,055 --> 00:14:49,156 All right, I'll prove to you 328 00:14:49,256 --> 00:14:50,690 how healthy our relationship is. 329 00:14:50,790 --> 00:14:53,760 I will give her the option of spending the evening alone. 330 00:14:53,860 --> 00:14:55,328 Of course, she'll laugh at the notion, 331 00:14:55,428 --> 00:14:57,530 and we'll share a mother-son hug in your face. 332 00:14:57,630 --> 00:15:00,968 Hey, Mom, how'd you like to spend the evening alone, you know, without me? 333 00:15:01,034 --> 00:15:02,235 Okay. 334 00:15:03,070 --> 00:15:04,404 You don't have to. 335 00:15:04,504 --> 00:15:07,140 Oh, no, no. There's some things that I need to take care of, 336 00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:08,875 but I didn't want to hurt your feelings, 337 00:15:08,976 --> 00:15:10,310 so this'll be perfect. 338 00:15:14,547 --> 00:15:15,548 Have fun. 339 00:15:15,648 --> 00:15:16,816 Okay, honey. Bye-bye. 340 00:15:19,852 --> 00:15:20,853 I'm sorry. 341 00:15:26,159 --> 00:15:27,727 (THE WAY WE WERE PLAYING) 342 00:15:48,148 --> 00:15:49,816 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 343 00:15:55,588 --> 00:15:57,890 I'm sorry to bother you this late, Mike, but... 344 00:15:58,025 --> 00:15:59,926 Oh, you rented The Way We Were. 345 00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:04,364 I love Barbra Streisand. 346 00:16:05,598 --> 00:16:08,868 No, I, uh, fell asleep watching True Grit. 347 00:16:11,104 --> 00:16:13,040 It must have switched over. 348 00:16:13,073 --> 00:16:14,441 So this isn't a tape? 349 00:16:14,641 --> 00:16:15,408 No. 350 00:16:15,508 --> 00:16:16,743 Then why is it paused? 351 00:16:20,913 --> 00:16:21,914 What do you want, Carter? 352 00:16:23,250 --> 00:16:25,118 Oh, uh, bad news. 353 00:16:25,218 --> 00:16:27,187 Jason Lane, the A.P.I. reporter, 354 00:16:27,287 --> 00:16:30,290 has this picture of the mayor in a hotel lobby 355 00:16:30,390 --> 00:16:33,726 giving $100 to a known prostitute. 356 00:16:35,062 --> 00:16:36,063 If it wasn't for the halter top, 357 00:16:36,096 --> 00:16:37,364 we could have said she was a bellman. 358 00:16:39,099 --> 00:16:40,833 Bellmen never keep their tips there. 359 00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:43,436 Why didn't you just call me with this? 360 00:16:43,536 --> 00:16:45,338 Well, I didn't want to talk about it with Jason. 361 00:16:45,438 --> 00:16:46,839 He's back in my apartment. 362 00:16:46,939 --> 00:16:49,476 (SNIFFS) What is Jason Lane doing in your apartment at 1:30 363 00:16:49,576 --> 00:16:51,444 in the... Morning? Never mind. 364 00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:55,482 All right. Let's rally the troops. 365 00:16:56,983 --> 00:16:58,085 Oh, and, Mike? 366 00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:01,654 You never have to be ashamed of loving Barbra... 367 00:17:03,423 --> 00:17:04,624 Not with me. 368 00:17:08,095 --> 00:17:09,162 (INAUDIBLE) 369 00:17:11,798 --> 00:17:13,200 Sorry to just drop by like this, 370 00:17:13,300 --> 00:17:14,601 but you and I have to talk. 371 00:17:15,102 --> 00:17:16,103 Okay. 372 00:17:16,169 --> 00:17:17,837 No, wait, Steve. 373 00:17:17,937 --> 00:17:19,972 This is what I wanted to talk about. 374 00:17:20,107 --> 00:17:23,110 I... I just think that it's time 375 00:17:23,210 --> 00:17:25,712 that we just took Mr. Bungle... 376 00:17:26,613 --> 00:17:28,615 Out of the relationship. 377 00:17:29,616 --> 00:17:31,017 I mean, don't get me wrong. 378 00:17:32,352 --> 00:17:34,721 What the three of us had was very special. 379 00:17:36,623 --> 00:17:37,990 But it's you that I like. 380 00:17:38,125 --> 00:17:41,928 Everything that dummy thinks and says comes from you. 381 00:17:42,028 --> 00:17:44,831 I know, but it's... Very hard for me to... 382 00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:48,668 Let's... Let's just sit. 383 00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:52,339 And... And if anything pops into your head 384 00:17:52,439 --> 00:17:54,141 that Mr. Bungle might say, 385 00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:57,510 you'll just say it yourself. Okay? 386 00:17:58,278 --> 00:17:59,479 Okay. 387 00:18:00,380 --> 00:18:01,648 Great. 388 00:18:05,385 --> 00:18:06,586 Here we go. 389 00:18:14,461 --> 00:18:15,662 (PUPPET VOICE) Let me out. 390 00:18:21,568 --> 00:18:24,371 There are only two things I want to be doing after midnight, 391 00:18:24,471 --> 00:18:25,972 and this isn't either of them. 392 00:18:27,207 --> 00:18:29,542 So did this emergency get everyone out of bed? 393 00:18:29,642 --> 00:18:32,845 No. I was at a club having a good time. 394 00:18:36,383 --> 00:18:37,717 What? 395 00:18:37,817 --> 00:18:39,652 Are you having this dream, too? 396 00:18:41,754 --> 00:18:42,822 No! 397 00:18:48,428 --> 00:18:49,729 Nice headgear. 398 00:18:52,265 --> 00:18:53,266 (LISPING) Hey, Stuart? 399 00:18:56,536 --> 00:18:57,837 Nothing you say... 400 00:18:59,506 --> 00:19:01,374 Can be worse than the... 401 00:19:02,875 --> 00:19:06,979 Shellacking... I received on the bus over here. 402 00:19:09,849 --> 00:19:12,552 Um, James? Do us all a favor. 403 00:19:12,652 --> 00:19:14,787 Stay away from words that start with "s." 404 00:19:17,023 --> 00:19:18,958 Okay, People, here is our problem. 405 00:19:19,058 --> 00:19:22,229 The mayor was caught handing money to a known prostitute. 406 00:19:22,629 --> 00:19:23,763 And? 407 00:19:26,533 --> 00:19:29,236 Someone explain to Stacey how things work outside of Brooklyn. 408 00:19:33,039 --> 00:19:34,807 All right. You wanna pass that picture around? 409 00:19:34,907 --> 00:19:36,843 Now what we need to do is... 410 00:19:36,943 --> 00:19:37,877 (SIGHS) 411 00:19:37,977 --> 00:19:39,679 Stu, you wanna keep that moving? 412 00:19:40,313 --> 00:19:41,314 Oh, sorry, Mike. 413 00:19:45,618 --> 00:19:46,886 Okay. What we need to do is 414 00:19:46,986 --> 00:19:49,155 find her and the mayor before the press does. 415 00:19:49,256 --> 00:19:51,891 Oh. We used to play a game like this at camp. 416 00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:56,028 Well, I'll tell you what, camper. 417 00:19:57,830 --> 00:20:00,433 You find 'em, and it's s'mores back in my cabin. 418 00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:05,905 Okay. You guys... Upper East Side. 419 00:20:06,005 --> 00:20:07,740 Upper West Side. Carter... 420 00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:09,376 I know, Mike... The Village. 421 00:20:11,911 --> 00:20:13,012 What should I do, Mike? 422 00:20:13,112 --> 00:20:15,114 Why don't you see if you can... 423 00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:18,150 Pick up whatever they're saying on the radio. 424 00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:25,325 I don't see what's funny about having an overbite. 425 00:20:25,425 --> 00:20:26,826 Well, you're the only one. 426 00:20:30,930 --> 00:20:32,999 Hey, Ma. Open up, it's me. 427 00:20:35,702 --> 00:20:36,936 Hey. Honey, you look awful. 428 00:20:37,036 --> 00:20:39,339 Oh, sympathy from my mother. 429 00:20:39,439 --> 00:20:41,040 Just what I was looking for. 430 00:20:41,140 --> 00:20:42,975 You cannot believe what I've been through tonight. 431 00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:44,143 I just spent the whole night 432 00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:46,479 scouring the city searching for the mayor. 433 00:20:47,514 --> 00:20:48,748 Hey, is that breakfast? 434 00:20:55,455 --> 00:20:56,489 Oh, good. 435 00:20:58,691 --> 00:20:59,892 There he is. 436 00:21:05,632 --> 00:21:08,335 Hey, Hank. How's the job search going? 437 00:21:08,368 --> 00:21:09,636 City has nothing for me. 438 00:21:09,736 --> 00:21:11,438 Oh, I'm so sorry. 439 00:21:11,538 --> 00:21:14,341 Yeah. That's too bad. 440 00:21:17,444 --> 00:21:18,478 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 441 00:21:19,346 --> 00:21:20,347 Don't be a stranger. 442 00:21:21,548 --> 00:21:24,183 Actually, I found something that pays me better. 443 00:21:24,917 --> 00:21:26,953 You lost me my job. 444 00:21:27,053 --> 00:21:29,589 My lawyer says I have an open and shut case. 445 00:21:30,657 --> 00:21:31,958 See you in court, sonny. 446 00:21:34,627 --> 00:21:35,628 Wait a minute. 447 00:21:37,964 --> 00:21:39,599 I'm being sued... 448 00:21:40,667 --> 00:21:42,869 For getting shot in the head? 449 00:21:44,671 --> 00:21:46,205 God bless America. 31872

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