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1
00:00:06,707 --> 00:00:08,609
I don't know what
you sleep in at home,
2
00:00:08,709 --> 00:00:11,011
but I don't
generally allow
cowboy boots in my bed.
3
00:00:11,112 --> 00:00:13,547
You afraid
they might scuff
your NFL sheets?
4
00:00:15,249 --> 00:00:16,517
I think we can
both be proud
5
00:00:16,617 --> 00:00:18,552
of what we did
to the Pittsburgh
Steelers tonight.
6
00:00:20,454 --> 00:00:21,655
I guess this
is good night.
7
00:00:27,461 --> 00:00:29,363
Oh. You know, listen.
8
00:00:29,463 --> 00:00:30,798
I'm sorry. I, uh...
9
00:00:32,166 --> 00:00:34,602
I should've
said something
earlier, but, uh...
10
00:00:34,702 --> 00:00:37,605
You're welcome
to stay here tonight
If you'd like to.
11
00:00:37,705 --> 00:00:40,808
Oh. Did I just get
the obligatory Invite?
12
00:00:40,908 --> 00:00:42,576
Well, it would only
seem fair after...
13
00:00:43,244 --> 00:00:44,512
Your obligatory...
14
00:00:45,213 --> 00:00:46,547
Best sex I ever had.
15
00:00:47,415 --> 00:00:48,816
Uh, look, Mike,
I appreciate the offer,
16
00:00:48,916 --> 00:00:51,051
but I have a really
busy day tomorrow,
you know.
17
00:00:51,152 --> 00:00:53,354
I kind of like my space
when I sleep,
and besides...
18
00:00:53,454 --> 00:00:54,788
All my stuff is at home.
All my stuff is at home.
19
00:00:57,091 --> 00:00:58,892
That's my line.
20
00:00:58,992 --> 00:01:02,029
I mean, I've
said that, like,
a thousand times.
21
00:01:03,997 --> 00:01:04,998
Three times.
22
00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:08,936
Look, um, Mike,
what we just did
23
00:01:09,036 --> 00:01:11,139
doesn't really change
our relationship.
24
00:01:11,205 --> 00:01:12,406
Au contraire.
25
00:01:12,506 --> 00:01:13,774
I think it makes it
way better.
26
00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:18,446
Look, you don't have
to send me flowers,
all right?
27
00:01:18,546 --> 00:01:19,913
You don't have
to call me.
28
00:01:20,013 --> 00:01:23,151
I'm the same girl I was
40 minutes ago.
29
00:01:23,217 --> 00:01:25,052
You wanna be a pal
and round that up
to an hour?
30
00:01:30,191 --> 00:01:31,225
Good night.
Good night.
31
00:01:36,364 --> 00:01:37,998
Well, I feel so used.
32
00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:40,868
Yes!
33
00:01:41,669 --> 00:01:43,837
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
34
00:02:05,193 --> 00:02:06,227
Whoa!
35
00:02:07,528 --> 00:02:08,729
Yeah.
36
00:02:09,663 --> 00:02:10,831
I take it things
went well
37
00:02:10,931 --> 00:02:12,200
with Laurie
over the weekend?
38
00:02:13,834 --> 00:02:15,269
Well, that's none
of your business...
39
00:02:15,369 --> 00:02:16,404
Whether you're wrong
or whether
40
00:02:16,504 --> 00:02:18,071
you're unbelievably right.
41
00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:20,941
Okay, changing the subject,
42
00:02:21,041 --> 00:02:23,677
apparently there's a reserved
diplomatic parking space
43
00:02:23,777 --> 00:02:25,346
on the Upper West Side,
44
00:02:25,446 --> 00:02:26,714
Nowhere near
the United Nations
45
00:02:26,814 --> 00:02:28,316
or any of the embassies,
46
00:02:28,416 --> 00:02:29,517
and here's the funny part...
47
00:02:29,617 --> 00:02:32,052
Stuart, It's right In front
of your apartment.
48
00:02:34,822 --> 00:02:35,823
Really?
49
00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:37,958
And the car that
parks there,
50
00:02:38,058 --> 00:02:38,859
it's the same one
51
00:02:38,959 --> 00:02:40,394
you drive to work
every day.
52
00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:42,062
Okay, this is getting weird.
53
00:02:45,599 --> 00:02:47,100
Well, the spot's gone,
the car's towed,
54
00:02:47,235 --> 00:02:49,903
and you pay these tickets
at your leisure.
55
00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:51,272
All right, everybody,
let's get out there
56
00:02:51,372 --> 00:02:53,874
and hey, let's govern
this city.
57
00:02:55,743 --> 00:02:57,010
It's a new line.
I'm trying it out.
58
00:02:57,110 --> 00:02:58,111
GIve me a break.
59
00:02:59,112 --> 00:03:00,814
Hey, James,
60
00:03:00,914 --> 00:03:01,915
want to get together
for lunch?
61
00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:03,984
Oh, sorry, Carter,
I can't.
62
00:03:04,084 --> 00:03:06,720
Hey, Scooter,
why do you disappear
63
00:03:06,820 --> 00:03:08,356
every day at lunch?
64
00:03:08,456 --> 00:03:09,423
It's kind of personal.
65
00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:11,559
Personal like
a sick relative
66
00:03:11,659 --> 00:03:13,961
or personal
like a rash?
67
00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:18,432
I'd just rather
keep it to myself.
68
00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:20,067
Rash.
69
00:03:22,002 --> 00:03:23,537
Sir, Janelle has been
working with us
70
00:03:23,637 --> 00:03:24,605
for some time now.
71
00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:25,939
No raises, Mike.
72
00:03:27,174 --> 00:03:28,141
That settles that.
73
00:03:28,276 --> 00:03:29,277
Mm-mm!
74
00:03:31,912 --> 00:03:34,382
Mr. Mayor, uh,
we both know
75
00:03:34,482 --> 00:03:36,784
how hard it is to find
a good assistant
76
00:03:36,884 --> 00:03:38,286
in New York City.
77
00:03:38,319 --> 00:03:40,721
INTERCOM:
Sir, Mike and Janelle
would like to see you.
78
00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:45,793
Mr. Mayor, I would even
be in here asking,
79
00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:48,161
but someone
abolished rent control.
80
00:03:55,403 --> 00:03:57,871
Tell you what,
why don't you let me
think about It.
81
00:03:57,971 --> 00:03:59,440
Plan to do some thinking
this afternoon,
82
00:03:59,540 --> 00:04:00,841
and I'll try
to squeeze it In.
83
00:04:09,517 --> 00:04:11,018
Going somewhere,
James?
84
00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:13,887
Uh...lunch.
85
00:04:13,987 --> 00:04:15,188
What's in the bag?
86
00:04:15,856 --> 00:04:17,057
A big lunch.
87
00:04:21,795 --> 00:04:24,732
I can't believe
your life is so hollow,
so meaningless,
88
00:04:24,832 --> 00:04:25,966
that you would
actually follow...
89
00:04:26,066 --> 00:04:27,335
Are you coming
or not?
Let me get my coat.
90
00:04:28,936 --> 00:04:30,504
Hey, Laurie call
for me?
91
00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:32,606
Even better.
She stopped by.
92
00:04:32,706 --> 00:04:33,674
Great.
93
00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:37,345
I thought we could
eat...Talk...
94
00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:40,948
Maybe...make out
a little.
95
00:04:41,048 --> 00:04:43,417
And they say
It's hard to get in
to see the deputy mayor.
96
00:04:45,386 --> 00:04:48,055
Uh, listen, I'll just be
a few minutes, all right.
97
00:04:48,155 --> 00:04:49,156
No biggie.
98
00:04:54,728 --> 00:04:55,929
Did you hear that?
99
00:04:56,930 --> 00:04:58,131
No biggie.
100
00:04:58,966 --> 00:05:00,167
I could go in now.
101
00:05:01,469 --> 00:05:02,470
I could go in later.
102
00:05:04,004 --> 00:05:05,573
I could stand out here
and dance a little jig.
103
00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:09,176
And it's no biggie.
104
00:05:10,243 --> 00:05:12,079
I have found
the perfect woman.
105
00:05:12,179 --> 00:05:14,382
Yeah, well, I used
to think Claudia was
the perfect woman
106
00:05:14,415 --> 00:05:16,684
until she ripped
my heart out.
107
00:05:16,784 --> 00:05:17,985
Believe you me, Mike,
108
00:05:18,085 --> 00:05:20,388
they're all
commitment-hungry
bundles
109
00:05:20,421 --> 00:05:22,022
of pure evil!
110
00:05:24,392 --> 00:05:26,394
Cancel Paul's lunch
with the women's caucus.
111
00:05:38,706 --> 00:05:39,973
Yo, James!
112
00:05:57,791 --> 00:05:59,427
I think you reach
a point In dating
113
00:05:59,493 --> 00:06:03,130
when it's smart to find out
the other person's views,
114
00:06:03,230 --> 00:06:05,098
you know,
their belief system,
115
00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:07,200
really their,
their outlook on life.
116
00:06:07,300 --> 00:06:08,436
Hit me.
117
00:06:09,136 --> 00:06:10,471
Thin Elvis
or fat Elvis?
118
00:06:10,571 --> 00:06:11,572
Fat Elvis.
119
00:06:12,906 --> 00:06:14,442
Cigars
in public places?
120
00:06:14,542 --> 00:06:15,543
You got a match?
121
00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:17,478
Three Stooges?
122
00:06:17,578 --> 00:06:18,579
Woop-woop-woop-woop!
123
00:06:20,448 --> 00:06:23,350
Very impressive.
The judges are beside
themselves.
124
00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:25,118
Now, for the dismount.
125
00:06:26,053 --> 00:06:27,220
How do you feel
about commitment?
126
00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:28,489
Not looking for it.
127
00:06:28,589 --> 00:06:29,657
Sticks the landing!
128
00:06:34,528 --> 00:06:38,165
Look, Mike, I've
been done that path
before, you know.
129
00:06:38,265 --> 00:06:40,100
I'm just really not
looking for that now.
130
00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:42,470
I'm working on myself
and my career.
131
00:06:42,503 --> 00:06:44,538
I'm really just looking
to have some fun.
132
00:06:47,107 --> 00:06:48,308
Will you marry me?
133
00:06:50,043 --> 00:06:51,479
Absolutely not.
134
00:06:52,045 --> 00:06:53,747
Which is why
I proposed.
135
00:06:56,884 --> 00:06:57,851
How about dinner
tonight?
136
00:06:57,951 --> 00:06:59,352
Can't, can't.
Mom's In town
137
00:06:59,487 --> 00:07:02,490
for our biannual
"why don't I have
grandchildren?" dinner.
138
00:07:02,556 --> 00:07:04,858
Yikes. Listen, I don't
have any plans if,
you know...
139
00:07:04,958 --> 00:07:06,860
There's really no reason
I couldn't come by,
If you want
140
00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:10,764
Mm. Mike, I don't know,
meeting each other's
parents?
141
00:07:10,864 --> 00:07:12,733
It's not a good idea.
142
00:07:12,833 --> 00:07:15,068
(THINKING)
Look, she doesn't
want commitment.
143
00:07:15,168 --> 00:07:16,837
She doesn't want you
to meet her mom.
144
00:07:16,937 --> 00:07:18,706
Now leave it alone.
145
00:07:18,806 --> 00:07:19,840
I could just drop by.
146
00:07:22,075 --> 00:07:23,376
Idiot! What
are you doing?
147
00:07:23,511 --> 00:07:25,345
Mike, I'm not sure
that would be
a good idea.
148
00:07:25,513 --> 00:07:27,180
Right, right.
Say no more. But...
149
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:28,348
I know how moms are
150
00:07:28,516 --> 00:07:29,617
and I was just trying
to help out.
151
00:07:29,717 --> 00:07:31,852
But believe me,
I don't want to go.
152
00:07:34,354 --> 00:07:35,656
Yes, you do!
153
00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:37,525
Oh, no, I don't.
154
00:07:38,526 --> 00:07:39,527
What?
155
00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:41,962
Nothing.
156
00:07:43,430 --> 00:07:48,068
James, I said
I was sorry
100 times.
157
00:07:48,168 --> 00:07:49,937
Okay, perhaps
you didn't
understand me.
158
00:07:50,037 --> 00:07:51,271
We aren't talking.
159
00:07:52,540 --> 00:07:53,841
There's nothing to be
embarrassed about.
160
00:07:53,941 --> 00:07:56,143
I don't know why
would you feel
you had to hide this?
161
00:07:56,243 --> 00:07:57,678
Aye-aye, Cap'n!
162
00:08:02,783 --> 00:08:05,452
When's the next cruise
to the Geek Islands?
163
00:08:13,561 --> 00:08:15,563
I guess I thought Stuart
would make fun of me.
164
00:08:16,730 --> 00:08:18,566
You know, as long
as you're gonna
waste your time
165
00:08:18,599 --> 00:08:19,567
out there with
those boatniks,
166
00:08:19,667 --> 00:08:21,034
why don't you try
to at least
167
00:08:21,134 --> 00:08:23,003
win that goofy race
they have every day?
168
00:08:23,103 --> 00:08:24,237
Don't listen
to him, James.
169
00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:26,339
Don't let him
corrupt something
so pure.
170
00:08:26,439 --> 00:08:28,375
Life is about dominating
other people.
171
00:08:28,475 --> 00:08:30,343
Life is about finding
inner peace!
172
00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:34,648
Okay, you guys
are weirding me out.
173
00:08:34,748 --> 00:08:37,718
So, I'm taking my boat
and little James
174
00:08:37,818 --> 00:08:38,786
and I am going home.
175
00:08:38,886 --> 00:08:39,987
Whoa!
176
00:08:40,688 --> 00:08:41,655
That's little James?
177
00:08:41,755 --> 00:08:44,124
Uh-huh. I made him
myself.
178
00:08:44,224 --> 00:08:46,894
So, when you said
you spent last night
179
00:08:46,994 --> 00:08:48,361
shellacking little James...
180
00:08:55,636 --> 00:08:56,937
You were being literal?
181
00:08:58,772 --> 00:09:00,140
What did you think
I meant?
Nothing.
182
00:09:02,009 --> 00:09:04,745
Just forget
what I said about
buffing little Stuart.
183
00:09:11,118 --> 00:09:12,285
Why am I here
again?
184
00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:13,353
Moral support.
185
00:09:13,453 --> 00:09:14,655
Oh, right, right.
186
00:09:15,522 --> 00:09:17,124
Anything for you,
Janelle.
187
00:09:17,224 --> 00:09:20,160
You're still gonna
get me those extra
three-ring binders, right?
188
00:09:20,260 --> 00:09:21,461
You got it.
189
00:09:22,796 --> 00:09:24,998
I am so sorry
to keep you waiting.
190
00:09:25,098 --> 00:09:26,667
(INTERCOM BUZZER)
191
00:09:26,767 --> 00:09:28,869
NADINE: Sir, your car's ready,
and it's right in front
of the mansion.
192
00:09:30,137 --> 00:09:31,438
Nadine,
I'm at the office.
193
00:09:31,538 --> 00:09:33,874
Oh...Then it'll be
a few minutes.
194
00:09:36,176 --> 00:09:37,477
Can you believe her?
195
00:09:37,645 --> 00:09:39,947
She's not the sharpest
tool in the shed.
196
00:09:40,047 --> 00:09:41,649
(LAUGHS) Yeah.
197
00:09:41,749 --> 00:09:44,217
Her IQ hits 40,
she should sell.
198
00:09:48,355 --> 00:09:49,957
Janelle, I'm going
to give you that raise.
199
00:09:50,724 --> 00:09:51,959
Thank you, Mr. Mayor.
200
00:09:52,059 --> 00:09:54,127
As long as we're on
the subject of raises...
201
00:09:54,227 --> 00:09:56,664
Hey, Paul, would you
fetch my cognac
and two snifters
202
00:09:56,697 --> 00:09:57,865
so we can celebrate?
203
00:09:57,965 --> 00:09:59,733
You betcha, sir.
204
00:09:59,833 --> 00:10:01,769
Looks like we're
both gonna be
winners today, huh?
205
00:10:04,137 --> 00:10:05,305
And if it's okay
with you,
206
00:10:05,405 --> 00:10:07,574
I'm giving you
a promotion as well.
207
00:10:07,675 --> 00:10:09,142
I can find a way
to live with that.
208
00:10:10,343 --> 00:10:11,879
I'd like you to be
my assistant.
209
00:10:12,780 --> 00:10:14,314
Mr. Mayor, I'm honored,
210
00:10:14,414 --> 00:10:16,283
But, sir, Nadine's
your assistant.
211
00:10:16,383 --> 00:10:18,618
No, I fired her
two days ago.
212
00:10:18,719 --> 00:10:21,021
She just hasn't checked
her voicemail yet.
213
00:10:31,331 --> 00:10:33,867
You know, the waiter
is handsome.
214
00:10:34,868 --> 00:10:36,704
He's gay.
215
00:10:36,804 --> 00:10:39,907
You always have to find
some little flaw
to pick at.
216
00:10:47,247 --> 00:10:48,248
Laurie?
217
00:10:51,351 --> 00:10:53,486
Unbelievable!
218
00:10:53,586 --> 00:10:55,622
You mind telling me
what the odds are here?
219
00:10:55,723 --> 00:10:57,257
Oh... About zero?
220
00:10:58,826 --> 00:11:00,794
I thought we were doing
our own thing tonight.
221
00:11:00,894 --> 00:11:02,963
Yeah, I'm just
meeting a buddy.
222
00:11:03,263 --> 00:11:04,264
Oh.
223
00:11:04,364 --> 00:11:07,100
Carol Paris.
Please join us.
224
00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:09,336
Whatever you do,
don't sit down.
225
00:11:09,436 --> 00:11:10,738
You can get out
of this.
226
00:11:10,771 --> 00:11:12,305
Pretend you're
sleepwalking.
227
00:11:13,741 --> 00:11:17,144
Uh, Mike Flaherty.
Don't mind if I do.
228
00:11:17,244 --> 00:11:18,345
You're on your own.
229
00:11:20,748 --> 00:11:22,750
And Lisa Garrett just
got engaged.
230
00:11:22,783 --> 00:11:24,752
I guess she's
the last to go.
231
00:11:24,785 --> 00:11:26,787
Wait a second.
Who am I forgetting?
232
00:11:28,221 --> 00:11:29,056
Subtle, Mom.
233
00:11:29,156 --> 00:11:30,791
Did you hear
Jenny got married?
234
00:11:30,891 --> 00:11:32,760
Yes, Mom.
She's my sister.
235
00:11:34,661 --> 00:11:35,796
Look, I didn't want
to do this here,
236
00:11:35,896 --> 00:11:38,198
because I haven't talked
to Mike about it yet,
237
00:11:38,298 --> 00:11:39,299
but, um...
238
00:11:40,467 --> 00:11:42,435
Mike and I
aren't just dating.
239
00:11:43,871 --> 00:11:45,973
I feel like this is the most
important relationship
240
00:11:46,073 --> 00:11:47,074
I've ever been in.
241
00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:54,681
I feel...
242
00:11:55,615 --> 00:11:56,950
Exactly the same way.
243
00:11:57,785 --> 00:11:58,952
I'm crazy about you.
244
00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:00,453
Oh.
245
00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:01,588
You are so beautiful.
246
00:12:01,688 --> 00:12:02,890
Oh!
247
00:12:05,692 --> 00:12:07,160
If this goes
any further,
248
00:12:07,260 --> 00:12:08,862
I may have to
ask you to leave.
249
00:12:12,499 --> 00:12:13,500
Breathe, Mom!
250
00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:17,805
And uh, you're
the deputy mayor?
251
00:12:17,838 --> 00:12:19,072
Of the whole city.
252
00:12:20,507 --> 00:12:21,574
I have to go
call Sylvia,
253
00:12:21,674 --> 00:12:23,243
and tell her
that her doctor
son-in-law
254
00:12:23,343 --> 00:12:24,477
can kiss my ass.
255
00:12:30,951 --> 00:12:33,153
I am so glad
you showed up.
256
00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:34,454
I am so glad I came.
257
00:12:34,554 --> 00:12:35,823
You were amazing.
258
00:12:35,889 --> 00:12:36,890
You were amazing.
259
00:12:36,990 --> 00:12:38,358
She totally bought it.
260
00:12:38,458 --> 00:12:39,459
Yeah.
261
00:12:41,061 --> 00:12:42,362
What?
262
00:12:42,462 --> 00:12:45,165
Well, this'll keep
my mom off my back
for at least six months.
263
00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:46,366
Thank you so much.
264
00:12:46,834 --> 00:12:48,501
Yeah, no problem.
265
00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:49,903
it was uh,
it was fun...
266
00:12:50,737 --> 00:12:51,905
Pretending.
267
00:12:52,005 --> 00:12:54,241
Look, I'm gonna
make sure she gets
home okay,
268
00:12:54,341 --> 00:12:56,543
but, uh, after that,
269
00:12:56,643 --> 00:12:57,911
I'm coming over
to your place.
270
00:12:58,011 --> 00:13:00,380
I wanna deliver
your Academy Award
personally.
271
00:13:01,548 --> 00:13:02,549
Bye.
272
00:13:06,954 --> 00:13:08,488
(BLENDER ON)
273
00:13:09,857 --> 00:13:12,359
Listen to
that baby go!
274
00:13:12,459 --> 00:13:14,594
Stuart, I'm not
putting a blender
engine in my boat.
275
00:13:16,029 --> 00:13:18,298
James,
you're going to war.
276
00:13:19,332 --> 00:13:21,001
Some guy comes at you
with an AK47,
277
00:13:21,101 --> 00:13:22,069
what are you gonna do?
278
00:13:22,169 --> 00:13:24,204
I don't know,
make him a daiquiri?
279
00:13:26,673 --> 00:13:28,608
Stuart, the guy
doesn't wanna race.
280
00:13:28,708 --> 00:13:31,578
You know, James,
there's this great
little lake upstate.
281
00:13:31,678 --> 00:13:33,080
next weekend,
we will go up there
282
00:13:33,180 --> 00:13:34,514
and we will
sail your boat.
283
00:13:34,614 --> 00:13:35,615
Oh, that
sounds nice.
284
00:13:35,715 --> 00:13:37,317
Okay, first of all,
he's hitting on you.
285
00:13:39,686 --> 00:13:42,689
And secondly,
ten speeds, baby!
286
00:13:42,789 --> 00:13:44,624
You pop that sucker
into liquefy,
287
00:13:44,724 --> 00:13:46,059
(TURNS ON BLENDER)
you go!
288
00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:53,934
She's just not interested
In going any further.
289
00:13:54,034 --> 00:13:57,604
Me, I'm already picturing
a house in Connecticut,
290
00:13:57,704 --> 00:14:00,407
a couple of Mike juniors
running around in the yard,
291
00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:02,709
me tooling around
the neighborhood
in my new Porsche.
292
00:14:04,711 --> 00:14:06,113
Why not?
My wife's a lawyer.
293
00:14:07,915 --> 00:14:09,249
It's time
to be honest.
294
00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:13,553
How long can you
go on having great,
meaningless sex?
295
00:14:14,922 --> 00:14:16,957
What's the record?
296
00:14:17,057 --> 00:14:18,791
The way I see it,
you have two choices here.
297
00:14:18,926 --> 00:14:20,994
you can either
keep playing games,
298
00:14:21,094 --> 00:14:22,695
or you can just tell her
how you feel.
299
00:14:22,795 --> 00:14:24,364
Wanna hear
the surefire winner?
300
00:14:24,464 --> 00:14:25,632
Never mind,
never mind.
Come on.
301
00:14:25,732 --> 00:14:27,667
No, no, no.
302
00:14:27,767 --> 00:14:28,768
You don't want
to hear this.
303
00:14:29,836 --> 00:14:30,938
Okay, Paul,
304
00:14:31,038 --> 00:14:32,472
I'm pretty sure
this'll be the only time
305
00:14:32,572 --> 00:14:34,741
I ever say this to you
in your life.
306
00:14:36,443 --> 00:14:38,211
Tell me what works
with the ladies.
307
00:14:40,147 --> 00:14:41,548
If you want
this relationship
308
00:14:41,648 --> 00:14:43,316
to move to
the next level,
309
00:14:43,416 --> 00:14:45,052
you gotta get her
to sleep over.
310
00:14:45,152 --> 00:14:46,119
He's right.
311
00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:48,221
You can date
until the end of time,
312
00:14:48,321 --> 00:14:51,424
but not until
you wake up wearing
that guy's t-shirt
313
00:14:51,524 --> 00:14:53,126
are you in it
for the long haul.
314
00:14:55,028 --> 00:14:56,229
Paulie...
315
00:15:06,373 --> 00:15:08,508
Mm. Don't let me
fall asleep.
316
00:15:08,608 --> 00:15:11,444
Oh. No, no.
Don't worry, I won't.
317
00:15:11,544 --> 00:15:12,545
Okay.
318
00:15:13,380 --> 00:15:15,282
* Hush little baby
319
00:15:16,016 --> 00:15:17,985
* Don't say a word
320
00:15:18,018 --> 00:15:21,388
* Mama's gonna buy you
a mockingbird
321
00:15:22,355 --> 00:15:25,525
* If that mockingbird
don't sing
322
00:15:27,060 --> 00:15:29,029
* Mama's gonna...
323
00:15:29,129 --> 00:15:30,830
* Do some other thing
324
00:15:33,066 --> 00:15:35,135
What other thing
is mama doing?
325
00:15:35,235 --> 00:15:36,669
Don't you worry
about mama.
326
00:15:37,704 --> 00:15:38,871
Mama keeps herself busy.
327
00:15:40,707 --> 00:15:41,708
I gotta go.
328
00:15:42,575 --> 00:15:44,811
Uh, you know,
I, I, uh...
329
00:15:44,911 --> 00:15:46,013
I just had this urge.
330
00:15:46,079 --> 00:15:48,115
When was the last time
you played Monopoly?
331
00:15:48,215 --> 00:15:50,550
Oh, Mike,
I'm exhausted.
332
00:15:52,019 --> 00:15:54,754
You know what it is,
I think you need
to eat something.
333
00:15:54,854 --> 00:15:55,788
That will perk you up.
334
00:15:55,888 --> 00:15:57,924
So, how about I get you
some warm milk?
335
00:15:59,226 --> 00:16:00,460
Turkey leg?
336
00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:03,496
I had a great time.
337
00:16:15,575 --> 00:16:17,910
Do you realize
we forgot to have
sex tonight?
338
00:16:19,512 --> 00:16:21,348
I've got to get
more post-its.
339
00:16:25,585 --> 00:16:27,754
Probably wouldn't
have mattered anyway.
340
00:16:27,854 --> 00:16:30,190
If I got within
ten feet of that bed,
341
00:16:30,290 --> 00:16:31,691
I would've been
out like a light.
342
00:16:36,129 --> 00:16:38,198
Whoo! Well,
isn't this sexy?
343
00:16:38,298 --> 00:16:39,599
You sure you can
handle this?
344
00:16:42,135 --> 00:16:43,336
No talking.
345
00:16:52,579 --> 00:16:53,580
Phew.
346
00:16:56,416 --> 00:16:57,850
You'll start today?
347
00:16:57,950 --> 00:16:59,586
I really need
to speak with
Mike about this
348
00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:01,088
before we make it
official.
349
00:17:01,154 --> 00:17:03,723
Well, if it would help,
I could speak to Mike
for you.
350
00:17:03,823 --> 00:17:04,991
And you're willing
to do that?
351
00:17:05,092 --> 00:17:06,093
Absolutely.
352
00:17:07,727 --> 00:17:09,762
You're the Mayor.
You have to learn
to say "no".
353
00:17:11,164 --> 00:17:12,399
Sir?
354
00:17:12,499 --> 00:17:14,467
My senior citizen group
is putting on
355
00:17:14,567 --> 00:17:16,269
A production of
A Chorus Line,
and...
356
00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:17,570
I'll be there.
357
00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:21,841
Damn.
358
00:17:23,943 --> 00:17:24,911
James!
359
00:17:25,011 --> 00:17:27,013
Almost race time.
What's it gonna be?
360
00:17:27,114 --> 00:17:28,481
Are you a winner
or a loser?
361
00:17:28,581 --> 00:17:30,550
Actually, Stuart,
I've been thinking
a lot about it
362
00:17:30,650 --> 00:17:33,153
And I'm not
a competitive
kind of guy.
363
00:17:33,653 --> 00:17:34,654
Okay.
364
00:17:34,754 --> 00:17:36,456
I thought you might
say that, so...
365
00:17:37,023 --> 00:17:38,024
I took
the liberty of
366
00:17:38,125 --> 00:17:39,659
putting the blender
motor in your boat.
367
00:17:40,993 --> 00:17:42,229
Stuart!
368
00:17:42,329 --> 00:17:44,997
He spent a year
with his grandfather
building that boat,
369
00:17:45,132 --> 00:17:46,299
and you defiled it.
370
00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:47,600
How dare you?
371
00:17:49,602 --> 00:17:50,837
Does it go
really fast?
372
00:17:56,143 --> 00:17:57,144
(SIGHS)
373
00:17:58,645 --> 00:17:59,846
Morning, Buttercup.
374
00:18:01,414 --> 00:18:02,482
Morning?
375
00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:03,550
Yeah, it's morning.
376
00:18:03,650 --> 00:18:06,018
The sun's up,
birds chirping.
377
00:18:06,153 --> 00:18:09,189
Garbage men
are regretting
their career choice.
378
00:18:10,690 --> 00:18:11,658
How about a kiss?
379
00:18:11,758 --> 00:18:13,626
City Hall
softball team.
380
00:18:14,394 --> 00:18:15,562
Whose shirt
is this?
381
00:18:16,062 --> 00:18:17,063
That would be mine.
382
00:18:18,298 --> 00:18:19,866
Mike, where are
my clothes?
383
00:18:19,966 --> 00:18:20,967
Oh. They're, uh...
384
00:18:25,505 --> 00:18:26,739
In your drawer.
385
00:18:31,711 --> 00:18:32,679
Hey, doesn't
everything seem
386
00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:33,780
different
this morning?
387
00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:36,249
You're telling me.
I slept in my contacts.
388
00:18:37,317 --> 00:18:38,351
So, what do
you wanna do?
389
00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:40,653
Go for a walk,
read the paper?
390
00:18:40,753 --> 00:18:41,921
I could make you
an omelette.
391
00:18:42,021 --> 00:18:43,990
I, I think I'm just
gonna get going.
392
00:18:50,397 --> 00:18:51,598
You ready?
393
00:18:52,665 --> 00:18:54,967
I've never felt so alive
in my entire life.
394
00:18:55,868 --> 00:18:57,270
Well, that's not
saying much,
395
00:18:57,370 --> 00:18:58,571
but I know
what you mean.
396
00:18:59,506 --> 00:19:00,707
Let's kick some ass!
397
00:19:02,942 --> 00:19:04,076
Oh, my God,
I just cursed.
398
00:19:04,211 --> 00:19:05,845
Aw, you'll get
used to it, my boy.
399
00:19:05,945 --> 00:19:07,714
Now get ready.
They're about to
fire the gun!
400
00:19:07,814 --> 00:19:09,249
(GUN FIRES)
Go, blue!
401
00:19:11,584 --> 00:19:12,819
(GASPS)
402
00:19:20,327 --> 00:19:21,328
My boat.
403
00:19:23,463 --> 00:19:24,731
I thought
that might happen.
404
00:19:26,399 --> 00:19:27,400
Tough break.
405
00:19:28,968 --> 00:19:30,036
(WHISTLES)
406
00:19:38,478 --> 00:19:39,812
(BEEPING)
407
00:19:39,912 --> 00:19:41,748
MAYOR:
Mike, Janelle works
for me now.
408
00:19:42,782 --> 00:19:44,251
Hope we're still on
for lunch.
409
00:19:46,419 --> 00:19:47,620
Call Janelle to confirm.
410
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:48,921
(BEEPING)
411
00:19:50,257 --> 00:19:51,858
Great.
is every woman
in my life
412
00:19:51,958 --> 00:19:52,959
gonna reject me
today?
413
00:19:53,059 --> 00:19:54,694
Mike, you haven't
been rejected.
414
00:19:54,794 --> 00:19:55,828
You haven't even
told Laurie
415
00:19:55,928 --> 00:19:57,163
how you feel about her.
416
00:19:57,264 --> 00:19:59,632
It's like our time
together is choreographed,
you know.
417
00:19:59,732 --> 00:20:02,535
I mean, there's never
an awkward moment
in the conversation.
418
00:20:02,635 --> 00:20:05,705
We both laugh at
the exact same things.
419
00:20:05,805 --> 00:20:07,740
We never miss
when we go to hold hands.
420
00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:08,941
You got it made.
421
00:20:09,041 --> 00:20:10,310
No, she spelled
it out for me.
422
00:20:10,410 --> 00:20:11,744
She doesn't
want commitment.
423
00:20:11,844 --> 00:20:13,079
But did you ever think
that maybe she's just
saying that
424
00:20:13,179 --> 00:20:15,315
because she thinks
that's what
you wanna hear?
425
00:20:15,415 --> 00:20:16,749
is that what you do?
426
00:20:16,849 --> 00:20:18,050
I don't have
the discipline.
427
00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:20,587
You wouldn't be
getting those vibes
428
00:20:20,687 --> 00:20:22,221
if she wasn't
putting them out.
429
00:20:22,322 --> 00:20:24,090
Come on.
You know what
you have to do.
430
00:20:25,892 --> 00:20:28,361
Mike, why is it I had
to rush over here
to see you?
431
00:20:29,729 --> 00:20:30,930
Okay.
432
00:20:32,832 --> 00:20:34,467
Okay, uh...
433
00:20:37,604 --> 00:20:38,571
Okay.
434
00:20:38,671 --> 00:20:39,639
All right.
435
00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:41,374
We've established
that you're okay.
436
00:20:42,309 --> 00:20:43,376
Laurie, uh...
437
00:20:47,213 --> 00:20:48,214
I love you.
438
00:21:26,953 --> 00:21:28,154
You heard me, right?
439
00:21:53,380 --> 00:21:54,381
I gotta go pee.
30309
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