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1
00:00:06,574 --> 00:00:08,176
What are we going
to do, Mike?
2
00:00:08,276 --> 00:00:11,079
The mayor and Paul
take off to Miami
for three days,
3
00:00:11,179 --> 00:00:12,580
we have absolutely
no explanation.
4
00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:14,648
Three words:
spring break fever.
5
00:00:14,748 --> 00:00:16,250
He missed the state
of the city speech.
6
00:00:16,350 --> 00:00:17,651
He missed the City
Council meeting.
7
00:00:17,751 --> 00:00:19,487
He didn't miss
the wet t-shirt contest.
8
00:00:19,587 --> 00:00:21,255
(ALL TALKING AT ONCE)
9
00:00:21,355 --> 00:00:25,126
Everybody listen.
Center yourselves.
10
00:00:25,226 --> 00:00:26,927
All right, everyone
close your eyes.
11
00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:29,930
I want you to
picture yourselves
lying on a beach. Okay?
12
00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:34,202
There's a soothing breeze
that is carrying
these words to you.
13
00:00:34,302 --> 00:00:37,638
(ENUNCIATING)
We can handle this.
14
00:00:38,472 --> 00:00:41,175
Are you there?
You on the beach?
15
00:00:41,275 --> 00:00:43,043
I could never
afford this place.
16
00:00:44,712 --> 00:00:47,581
There are no
black people here.
17
00:00:47,681 --> 00:00:51,385
I am so not ready
for bathing suit season.
18
00:00:51,485 --> 00:00:53,654
Thank God
you're not
wearing one.
19
00:00:55,856 --> 00:00:57,791
(ALL TALKING)
20
00:00:57,891 --> 00:01:00,161
Settle down, settle down.
Settle down, please.
21
00:01:00,261 --> 00:01:01,995
Yeah, you're probably
all wondering why
the mayor took
22
00:01:02,130 --> 00:01:04,565
a brief, unannounced trip
to Florida this week.
23
00:01:04,665 --> 00:01:06,300
Well, I have
that answer for you.
24
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:09,002
The mayor has
a friend who
25
00:01:09,137 --> 00:01:10,404
was in
serious trouble.
26
00:01:10,504 --> 00:01:11,739
What kind of
trouble, Mike?
27
00:01:11,839 --> 00:01:15,143
Well, this friend,
if you must know,
28
00:01:16,144 --> 00:01:17,578
had a...
29
00:01:18,646 --> 00:01:19,913
A nervous breakdown.
30
00:01:20,013 --> 00:01:21,915
Oh, come on, Mike.
Who was with the mayor
in Miami?
31
00:01:22,015 --> 00:01:24,718
He was with me.
We almost caught a fish.
32
00:01:24,818 --> 00:01:26,354
(REPORTERS SPEAKING AT ONCE)
33
00:01:26,454 --> 00:01:27,755
What?
34
00:01:27,855 --> 00:01:29,056
What?
35
00:01:30,658 --> 00:01:32,860
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
36
00:01:53,314 --> 00:01:55,983
We gotta fix this.
They think I had
a nervous breakdown.
37
00:01:56,083 --> 00:01:59,453
Paul, worst case scenario,
You can't buy firearms
for two, three years.
38
00:01:59,553 --> 00:02:01,889
Oh, this is not good,
this is not good.
39
00:02:01,989 --> 00:02:03,357
You protected
the mayor, Paulie.
40
00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:04,858
And whether
you meant to or not,
I'm still proud of you.
41
00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:06,327
I will make
this disappear.
42
00:02:06,427 --> 00:02:07,428
Nothing's gonna
change around here.
43
00:02:07,528 --> 00:02:08,762
No one's gonna
treat you any differently.
44
00:02:08,862 --> 00:02:10,931
Hey, Mike.
Nutjob.
45
00:02:12,833 --> 00:02:14,067
Mike, the Post called.
46
00:02:14,202 --> 00:02:16,404
They want to know
if and when Paul's
gonna be replaced.
47
00:02:16,504 --> 00:02:18,839
Paul who?
Oh, God.
48
00:02:18,939 --> 00:02:20,208
Paul, I said
I would handle this.
49
00:02:20,274 --> 00:02:21,975
We get you a shrink,
he'll sit down with you,
50
00:02:22,075 --> 00:02:23,277
and you know
what he'll say?
51
00:02:23,377 --> 00:02:24,812
This'll only
hurt for a second.
52
00:02:24,912 --> 00:02:25,946
Bzzzt!
53
00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:28,749
He'll say you had
a bad day, that's it,
54
00:02:28,849 --> 00:02:30,618
A single,
solitary
bad day.
55
00:02:30,718 --> 00:02:32,220
Hey, we all have
bad days.
56
00:02:32,253 --> 00:02:35,122
Exactly. James,
I need print, TV
and radio releases for this.
57
00:02:35,223 --> 00:02:37,425
Mike, that's
gonna take forever.
I have a date tonight.
58
00:02:37,525 --> 00:02:39,893
Carter, I'm gonna
need some research on
short-term depression.
59
00:02:39,993 --> 00:02:41,962
Mike, I was really
looking forward to this.
60
00:02:42,062 --> 00:02:44,765
I suggest you start
by interviewing James.
61
00:02:48,135 --> 00:02:49,603
And the press
seem to be buying it?
62
00:02:49,703 --> 00:02:50,704
Oh, yeah.
63
00:02:50,804 --> 00:02:52,506
Turns out,
they had a pool
64
00:02:52,606 --> 00:02:54,408
on when Paul was
gonna break down.
65
00:02:56,244 --> 00:02:57,745
Damn journalists.
66
00:02:57,845 --> 00:02:59,747
Did I win
anything?
67
00:02:59,847 --> 00:03:02,283
Off by a few months, sir.
68
00:03:02,383 --> 00:03:03,717
Look, Mike,
Helen's lawyer
69
00:03:03,817 --> 00:03:05,052
is gonna be coming
along any minute.
70
00:03:05,152 --> 00:03:06,787
It's gonna be
a very simple divorce.
71
00:03:06,887 --> 00:03:08,956
All I want to keep
are my golf clubs,
72
00:03:10,258 --> 00:03:12,293
And this portrait
of my mother.
73
00:03:13,994 --> 00:03:15,263
Whoa.
74
00:03:17,998 --> 00:03:20,167
That's a handsome
woman, sir.
75
00:03:20,968 --> 00:03:22,836
Anyway, the rest
can all go to Helen.
76
00:03:22,936 --> 00:03:24,137
Well, uh, sir,
shouldn't you be
77
00:03:24,272 --> 00:03:25,573
discussing this
with your attorney?
78
00:03:25,673 --> 00:03:27,341
You did go
to law school,
did you not?
79
00:03:27,441 --> 00:03:29,410
Well, yes, sir,
but come on.
80
00:03:29,510 --> 00:03:31,279
Who didn't?
81
00:03:33,847 --> 00:03:35,783
The last thing we need is
some high profile attorney
82
00:03:35,883 --> 00:03:37,418
milking this thing
for publicity.
83
00:03:37,518 --> 00:03:39,287
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
Sir, as much as I would
love to represent you,
84
00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:42,690
I don't see how I can
find time to possibly...
85
00:03:42,790 --> 00:03:44,558
Hello. Mr. Mayor.
Yes.
86
00:03:44,658 --> 00:03:46,427
I'm Laurie Paris.
I represent your wife.
87
00:03:46,527 --> 00:03:47,661
Ah.
88
00:03:47,761 --> 00:03:49,129
(SIGHS)
89
00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:50,798
Hi.
90
00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:52,900
I'm Mike Flaherty.
91
00:03:54,001 --> 00:03:55,403
I'm the mayor's lawyer.
92
00:03:57,738 --> 00:03:59,407
And there's
nothing you can do?
93
00:04:00,308 --> 00:04:01,475
I see.
94
00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:03,611
No, thank you.
95
00:04:04,945 --> 00:04:06,580
Apparently,
it's not illegal
to be naked
96
00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:08,349
in front of
a big picture window.
97
00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:12,320
Big plans tonight?
98
00:04:12,386 --> 00:04:15,155
This newlywed couple
moved into the apartment
across from mine,
99
00:04:15,323 --> 00:04:18,058
and they have
not stopped...
Shall we say
100
00:04:18,158 --> 00:04:20,328
celebrating
their nuptials?
101
00:04:20,428 --> 00:04:21,795
How do you know
they're newlyweds?
102
00:04:21,895 --> 00:04:23,597
Oh, they have cans
tied to their legs.
103
00:04:25,499 --> 00:04:26,934
I'm guessing, James.
104
00:04:27,034 --> 00:04:28,336
What do you know?
105
00:04:28,369 --> 00:04:31,038
It sounds like
our Mr. Open-minded
Carter here,
106
00:04:31,138 --> 00:04:33,407
just might be
a tiny bit
heterophobic.
107
00:04:33,507 --> 00:04:34,875
No, no, no.
Not at all.
108
00:04:34,975 --> 00:04:37,345
Some of
my best friends
are heterosexual.
109
00:04:37,378 --> 00:04:39,112
At least,
they think
they are.
110
00:04:42,850 --> 00:04:44,251
Laurie, can you just
step into my office?
111
00:04:44,352 --> 00:04:46,687
I have to take care
of some very important,
112
00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:49,189
pressing, urgent
113
00:04:49,357 --> 00:04:51,058
Government business.
I'll be right...
114
00:04:51,158 --> 00:04:52,693
Okay,
how are my teeth?
115
00:04:53,594 --> 00:04:54,628
All clear.
116
00:04:55,363 --> 00:04:56,464
How's my breath?
117
00:04:57,598 --> 00:04:59,266
Okay, never do
that again.
118
00:05:01,369 --> 00:05:02,235
Gum, please.
119
00:05:02,370 --> 00:05:03,704
I don't what it is
about this woman.
120
00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:04,772
I can't remember
the last time
121
00:05:04,872 --> 00:05:06,139
my hands were
this sweaty.
122
00:05:06,239 --> 00:05:08,642
It's a good thing
I'm wearing cashmere.
123
00:05:09,677 --> 00:05:10,711
Thank you.
124
00:05:13,447 --> 00:05:14,515
Got it.
125
00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:19,487
This is you
and President Clinton?
126
00:05:19,587 --> 00:05:20,588
Oh, Bill.
127
00:05:22,856 --> 00:05:25,092
He's a good guy.
128
00:05:25,192 --> 00:05:27,395
So, where did we leave off
back at the mansion?
129
00:05:27,428 --> 00:05:29,530
Oh, well, you said
I should drop by
your office sometime
130
00:05:29,630 --> 00:05:31,665
to see the picture
of you and the President.
131
00:05:32,533 --> 00:05:34,301
Well, then...
132
00:05:35,002 --> 00:05:36,203
Check.
133
00:05:39,907 --> 00:05:41,509
Look, Mike,
the first thing
I'm gonna need
134
00:05:41,609 --> 00:05:43,043
is a list of assets.
135
00:05:43,143 --> 00:05:44,745
Well, I'm witty,
well-read.
136
00:05:47,915 --> 00:05:49,683
I was thinking more
along the lines of
137
00:05:49,783 --> 00:05:52,085
the mayor's
material assets.
138
00:05:52,653 --> 00:05:54,021
Got that...
139
00:05:54,121 --> 00:05:55,489
Right here.
140
00:05:57,658 --> 00:05:58,992
Ask her
where she's from.
141
00:05:59,092 --> 00:06:00,828
Find out what
she's interested in,
142
00:06:00,928 --> 00:06:01,929
Hobbies, etc.,
143
00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:03,431
Um...
Excuse me.
144
00:06:04,432 --> 00:06:06,834
These are just
my notes from, uh...
145
00:06:06,934 --> 00:06:08,636
When I was
a game show host.
146
00:06:11,071 --> 00:06:13,040
Look at you.
You're blushing.
147
00:06:13,140 --> 00:06:14,575
I am not.
148
00:06:14,675 --> 00:06:17,310
Well, you might
wanna go a little
easier on the rouge then.
149
00:06:17,445 --> 00:06:18,446
You think?
150
00:06:18,979 --> 00:06:20,213
For fall?
151
00:06:21,682 --> 00:06:24,217
Well, either way,
I think it's very cute.
152
00:06:26,587 --> 00:06:27,621
So...
153
00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:30,157
So, uh...
154
00:06:30,257 --> 00:06:32,359
We should get back,
you know, to...
155
00:06:33,093 --> 00:06:34,662
Whatever it is
we were doing.
156
00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:36,897
Divorce.
157
00:06:39,833 --> 00:06:41,735
Divorce,
that's right.
158
00:06:41,835 --> 00:06:43,336
I'm a divorce lawyer.
159
00:06:44,738 --> 00:06:46,373
I'm the deputy mayor.
160
00:06:50,110 --> 00:06:52,245
How's that
going for you?
161
00:06:52,780 --> 00:06:53,814
Very well.
162
00:06:56,584 --> 00:06:57,885
Listen, Laurie,
I was thinking,
163
00:06:57,985 --> 00:06:59,687
maybe, uh, sometime
you and I could
get together...
164
00:06:59,787 --> 00:07:03,857
Oh, you know, I have
this one steadfast rule.
165
00:07:03,957 --> 00:07:05,793
Don't date
opposing counsel.
166
00:07:05,893 --> 00:07:08,295
It's really
just a matter of
personal integrity.
167
00:07:11,899 --> 00:07:13,266
But you're a lawyer.
168
00:07:16,036 --> 00:07:17,738
Running off to Miami
the day I moved in
169
00:07:17,838 --> 00:07:20,007
is no way to start
our life together.
170
00:07:20,107 --> 00:07:21,875
The mayor
made me do it.
171
00:07:23,310 --> 00:07:25,412
I don't
understand, Paul.
172
00:07:25,513 --> 00:07:27,915
Why are you
so afraid of
committing to me?
173
00:07:28,015 --> 00:07:30,317
It's not just you.
I'm afraid of
committing, period.
174
00:07:30,417 --> 00:07:31,919
Look, you see
this suit?
175
00:07:32,019 --> 00:07:33,120
I started with
the green one.
176
00:07:33,220 --> 00:07:34,221
Then boom,
I change it.
177
00:07:34,321 --> 00:07:35,388
Then I change it again.
178
00:07:35,523 --> 00:07:37,124
The only thing left
of my original outfit
179
00:07:37,224 --> 00:07:38,792
are these socks.
180
00:07:38,892 --> 00:07:40,027
They don't match.
181
00:07:41,194 --> 00:07:44,197
There's the Claudia candor
that I missed.
182
00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:46,399
We are not
hunky dory here.
183
00:07:46,534 --> 00:07:48,536
You're right.
I'm sorry.
184
00:07:48,569 --> 00:07:50,103
I don't know
what I'm thinking.
185
00:07:50,203 --> 00:07:51,204
There.
186
00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:52,540
No. No.
187
00:07:52,606 --> 00:07:55,042
This is one problem
those silky lips can't solve.
188
00:07:56,443 --> 00:07:58,546
Paul, you hurt me.
189
00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:01,815
We have
trust issues now.
190
00:08:01,915 --> 00:08:03,851
Nuh-uh!
I trust you.
191
00:08:05,218 --> 00:08:07,154
Oh.
192
00:08:07,254 --> 00:08:08,722
Paulie, this is
really hard for me,
193
00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:10,824
but I think we need to
take a break right now.
194
00:08:11,692 --> 00:08:13,293
I'm sorry
about this, doc.
195
00:08:13,393 --> 00:08:15,028
Paul seems to be
running a little bit late.
196
00:08:15,128 --> 00:08:17,631
Believe me,
I'm used to it.
197
00:08:17,731 --> 00:08:19,667
People put off going
to the psychiatrist
198
00:08:19,767 --> 00:08:21,635
the same way
they put off going
to the dentist.
199
00:08:21,735 --> 00:08:23,103
And then,
one day,
pfft!
200
00:08:23,203 --> 00:08:24,437
You're nuts.
201
00:08:30,678 --> 00:08:33,847
So, how is business?
Good?
202
00:08:33,947 --> 00:08:35,649
Oh, yeah, yeah.
203
00:08:36,383 --> 00:08:37,785
How are
you doing?
204
00:08:38,652 --> 00:08:40,588
What's that
supposed to mean?
205
00:08:41,589 --> 00:08:43,591
No, I was just
making small talk.
206
00:08:44,257 --> 00:08:45,392
'Cause you know,
I'm, uh...
207
00:08:45,492 --> 00:08:47,595
I'm the kind of guy,
if I have a problem...
208
00:08:47,628 --> 00:08:50,263
I like to take care
of it myself.
209
00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:51,665
Self-reliant.
210
00:08:51,765 --> 00:08:53,734
That's the way I am,
always have been.
211
00:08:57,605 --> 00:08:59,740
You know
you want to.
212
00:09:06,446 --> 00:09:07,915
I met this girl.
213
00:09:08,015 --> 00:09:09,883
Well, this is a new one.
214
00:09:11,652 --> 00:09:13,053
We're really
connecting.
215
00:09:13,153 --> 00:09:15,989
You know, but we're working
together professionally,
and she...
216
00:09:16,089 --> 00:09:18,792
Feels dating would be
inappropriate right now?
217
00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:20,393
Right. But ever since
I was a kid...
218
00:09:20,493 --> 00:09:21,494
You've acted
on your feelings
219
00:09:21,629 --> 00:09:23,030
the moment
you've had them?
220
00:09:25,298 --> 00:09:26,399
Doc, do you mind?
221
00:09:26,499 --> 00:09:28,736
Because it's really
hard for me to open up.
222
00:09:29,637 --> 00:09:31,438
Well, this is
not difficult.
223
00:09:31,538 --> 00:09:32,973
You're crowding her.
224
00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:35,809
Don't press things.
You'll just ruin it.
225
00:09:36,309 --> 00:09:37,444
Yeah.
226
00:09:37,544 --> 00:09:39,647
Well.
227
00:09:39,680 --> 00:09:41,281
I don't see a ring
on your finger.
228
00:09:44,685 --> 00:09:46,687
Oh, hey, Paulie,
you're just in time.
229
00:09:46,787 --> 00:09:49,089
I leave you in
the capable hands
of Dr. No Love.
230
00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:53,060
You're welcome.
231
00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:55,328
Well, let's
sit you down
232
00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:56,864
and get you
pronounced sane.
233
00:09:56,964 --> 00:09:58,565
It's really just
a formality.
234
00:09:58,666 --> 00:10:01,401
My whole life
is falling apart.
235
00:10:01,501 --> 00:10:03,837
Why? Why? Why?
236
00:10:04,905 --> 00:10:07,107
(SLOW ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING)
237
00:10:17,685 --> 00:10:19,286
(SIGHS) Oh...
238
00:10:21,521 --> 00:10:23,056
(SIGHS)
239
00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:28,328
So you went to
Wellesley.
240
00:10:28,428 --> 00:10:29,730
Why does every guy
smile like that
241
00:10:29,830 --> 00:10:32,399
when they find out
I went to an all-girls school?
242
00:10:32,499 --> 00:10:34,401
I don't know.
Maybe we, uh...
243
00:10:34,501 --> 00:10:36,603
Just imagine
your study groups.
244
00:10:37,871 --> 00:10:39,206
All of you
huddled up
245
00:10:39,873 --> 00:10:41,374
in a candlelit
dorm room...
246
00:10:42,710 --> 00:10:44,311
Wearing nighties.
247
00:10:46,413 --> 00:10:47,715
Feeding each other
grapes.
248
00:10:48,949 --> 00:10:51,351
Try sweat pants
and eating pizza.
249
00:10:52,119 --> 00:10:53,987
It still works.
250
00:10:54,087 --> 00:10:56,389
We should probably
start with the motion
in limine.
251
00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:58,391
Excellent.
The young lady
will have
252
00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:00,027
the motion in limine.
253
00:11:01,795 --> 00:11:03,496
Mike, I told you
I wouldn't feel
comfortable
254
00:11:03,596 --> 00:11:05,198
dating someone
I was working with.
255
00:11:05,298 --> 00:11:06,734
Laurie, we're two people,
we're sitting here,
256
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:09,069
we're discussing a divorce.
This is not a date.
257
00:11:10,203 --> 00:11:11,872
Not yet. Not yet.
258
00:11:16,343 --> 00:11:18,879
Mike, I asked you for
one simple thing, all right?
259
00:11:18,979 --> 00:11:20,814
Just let's get
through this case,
260
00:11:20,914 --> 00:11:22,515
and you couldn't even
respect that.
261
00:11:22,615 --> 00:11:25,418
I have
a valid excuse.
262
00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:27,755
I didn't think
you meant it.
263
00:11:27,821 --> 00:11:29,222
Here I am,
walking you
through this,
264
00:11:29,322 --> 00:11:31,124
going easy on you
because it's been
so long
265
00:11:31,224 --> 00:11:32,760
since you've actually
practiced law in any way...
266
00:11:32,826 --> 00:11:36,596
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Easy... on me?
267
00:11:36,764 --> 00:11:38,198
I'm gonna be
honest with you, Laurie.
268
00:11:38,298 --> 00:11:40,467
I'm sitting here thinking
maybe my six-year
absence from the law
269
00:11:40,567 --> 00:11:42,002
makes this fair.
270
00:11:45,305 --> 00:11:48,776
Okay, that's it.
Kid gloves are off.
271
00:11:48,809 --> 00:11:50,510
Oh, what is that,
a threat?
272
00:11:50,610 --> 00:11:53,947
'Cause I gotta tell you.
Oh, I'm shakin'!
273
00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:57,050
Well, you should be.
I do this every day
of my life.
274
00:11:57,150 --> 00:11:59,486
And you just ordered
my first motion
as an appetizer.
275
00:12:00,353 --> 00:12:01,588
Bye, Mother!
276
00:12:04,157 --> 00:12:06,693
Don't you worry, sir.
We'll get your mom back.
277
00:12:06,794 --> 00:12:08,595
That's what father
used to say.
278
00:12:09,863 --> 00:12:11,431
Thank you.
279
00:12:13,133 --> 00:12:14,601
Now what?
280
00:12:14,701 --> 00:12:16,669
Uh, that was
the psychiatrist.
281
00:12:16,804 --> 00:12:18,305
(CLEARS THROAT)
Apparently.
282
00:12:19,539 --> 00:12:21,008
Paul's been committed.
283
00:12:28,181 --> 00:12:29,716
So any luck
getting my stuff back?
284
00:12:29,817 --> 00:12:31,018
Uh, no, sir.
Not yet.
285
00:12:31,118 --> 00:12:32,619
But we've launched
our own offensive.
286
00:12:32,719 --> 00:12:36,656
I have managed to
commandeer most of
Helen's summer wardrobe.
287
00:12:36,824 --> 00:12:39,326
What am I gonna do
with 50 sun dresses?
288
00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:41,294
Frankly, sir,
that's your
own business.
289
00:12:41,394 --> 00:12:43,730
We have
counter-punch,
though.
290
00:12:43,831 --> 00:12:45,032
Mike, so, uh,
291
00:12:45,132 --> 00:12:46,834
Paulie's doing
okay over there?
292
00:12:46,867 --> 00:12:49,636
Oh, yeah, uh...
Oh! You know what?
293
00:12:49,736 --> 00:12:51,071
That was a really
nice thing you did
294
00:12:51,171 --> 00:12:52,639
sending your old
teddy bear over there.
295
00:12:52,739 --> 00:12:56,309
Well, Mr. Snuggles
always cheered me up
when I was feeling blue.
296
00:12:57,077 --> 00:12:59,646
Unfortunately,
they had to...
297
00:12:59,746 --> 00:13:01,648
rip out
Mr. Snuggle's eyes.
298
00:13:03,516 --> 00:13:05,618
They were afraid
Paul might choke on 'em.
299
00:13:06,854 --> 00:13:08,088
Oh.
300
00:13:12,425 --> 00:13:13,460
Oh, God.
301
00:13:16,864 --> 00:13:18,098
Well...
302
00:13:18,198 --> 00:13:20,067
What a nice
surprise.
303
00:13:20,167 --> 00:13:21,969
Look, Mike, I think
we need to recognize
304
00:13:22,069 --> 00:13:24,104
we've gotten into
a really petty place here.
305
00:13:24,204 --> 00:13:26,739
She's not happy
about the dresses,
is she?
306
00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:28,608
It's 90 degrees out.
307
00:13:28,708 --> 00:13:31,311
She's at the equestrian
center in a velour jumpsuit.
308
00:13:32,479 --> 00:13:35,382
I hope this humidity
doesn't get any worse,
309
00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:38,986
'cause that velour,
that doesn't breathe.
310
00:13:39,086 --> 00:13:40,888
There are a few items
on the property settlement
311
00:13:40,921 --> 00:13:42,622
that are still
unaccounted for,
312
00:13:42,722 --> 00:13:44,257
such as the mayor's
golf clubs.
313
00:13:44,357 --> 00:13:46,193
I know nothing
about them.
314
00:13:46,293 --> 00:13:47,327
Well...
315
00:13:47,961 --> 00:13:49,362
Whose clubs
are these?
316
00:13:50,497 --> 00:13:51,965
Those are mine.
317
00:13:52,065 --> 00:13:53,733
Would you, uh,
mind showing me
318
00:13:53,901 --> 00:13:55,235
how you use this?
319
00:14:00,607 --> 00:14:01,708
Yeah.
320
00:14:25,933 --> 00:14:27,167
Big hitter.
321
00:14:31,171 --> 00:14:32,272
Look at this.
322
00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:34,574
Encyclopedia of
psychological Disorders.
323
00:14:34,674 --> 00:14:35,508
It's not even here.
324
00:14:35,608 --> 00:14:37,577
There's no mention
of heterophobia!
325
00:14:39,146 --> 00:14:40,780
Maybe you're
the first case.
326
00:14:42,582 --> 00:14:45,718
Jeez, you'd think
it would be as common
as fear of flowers!
327
00:14:45,818 --> 00:14:47,387
My dad
has that.
328
00:14:48,488 --> 00:14:49,689
Very sad.
329
00:14:51,124 --> 00:14:53,326
Makes funerals
that much tougher
on him.
330
00:14:54,694 --> 00:14:57,330
Paul... Paul...
I'm not supposed to be
out of the main area.
331
00:14:57,430 --> 00:14:59,299
Mental health is
a lifelong journey.
332
00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:00,633
However, you have
90 seconds
333
00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:02,869
until your exit interview,
so shut up and listen.
334
00:15:02,970 --> 00:15:04,371
They're just gonna ask you
some basic questions, Paul.
335
00:15:04,471 --> 00:15:06,606
Who the president is,
what day of the week it is.
336
00:15:06,706 --> 00:15:09,609
Oh, my God!
How long have I
been in here?
337
00:15:11,678 --> 00:15:13,146
I just think
we should discuss
338
00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:15,615
some things
to steer clear of.
339
00:15:15,715 --> 00:15:18,218
Suicide,
your mother.
340
00:15:18,318 --> 00:15:20,653
Your theory on
who built the pyramids.
341
00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:24,391
I'm telling you,
chimps are tool users!
342
00:15:26,826 --> 00:15:29,462
What could
Mrs. Winston
possibly want
343
00:15:29,562 --> 00:15:30,998
with the mayor's
cigars?
344
00:15:31,031 --> 00:15:33,833
She finds it really
helps her enjoy
the mayor's cognac.
345
00:15:35,535 --> 00:15:37,204
Well, that's not
very nice.
346
00:15:37,304 --> 00:15:39,839
Well, I'm not paid
$200 an hour to be nice.
347
00:15:40,007 --> 00:15:41,808
Yeah? Well,
I'm not paid...
348
00:15:43,243 --> 00:15:45,012
A different amount...
349
00:15:47,747 --> 00:15:49,116
To be your
patsy, okay?
350
00:15:49,216 --> 00:15:50,883
Those cigars were
a gift to the mayor
351
00:15:51,018 --> 00:15:52,052
from the president
of Ecuador,
352
00:15:52,152 --> 00:15:53,286
Therefore his
separate property
353
00:15:53,386 --> 00:15:55,188
and not subject
to marital division.
354
00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:56,423
I think someone
spent last night
355
00:15:56,523 --> 00:15:58,458
brushing up
on his property law.
356
00:15:58,558 --> 00:16:00,027
Well, that would be
a comment of
a personal nature,
357
00:16:00,093 --> 00:16:02,929
and therefore
inappropriate
to these proceedings.
358
00:16:03,030 --> 00:16:04,631
Give us back
the stogies.
359
00:16:06,499 --> 00:16:07,734
Come on, Mike,
I've had enough.
Can we just stop this?
360
00:16:07,834 --> 00:16:10,903
No, no, no. Next item
up for bids:
361
00:16:11,038 --> 00:16:12,839
Mrs. Winston's
eye creams.
362
00:16:14,307 --> 00:16:16,309
The mayor wants 'em.
363
00:16:16,409 --> 00:16:18,045
(LOW VOICE)
he wants 'em bad.
364
00:16:19,379 --> 00:16:21,648
What if I told you
365
00:16:21,748 --> 00:16:24,451
you're really adorable
when you're angry?
366
00:16:24,551 --> 00:16:26,619
Also a comment
of a personal nature.
367
00:16:26,719 --> 00:16:28,721
Also inappropriate
to these proceedings.
368
00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:31,058
And for the record,
I'm not angry.
369
00:16:31,091 --> 00:16:32,492
I'm pouting.
370
00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:34,961
Mike! Sorry
to interrupt.
371
00:16:35,062 --> 00:16:36,096
Mike?
372
00:16:37,064 --> 00:16:38,365
Ahem.
373
00:16:40,300 --> 00:16:41,634
Hey.
374
00:16:45,305 --> 00:16:47,440
Not in
a million years.
375
00:16:47,907 --> 00:16:48,875
Okay.
376
00:16:48,975 --> 00:16:50,910
Mike, uh...
377
00:16:51,778 --> 00:16:54,347
Little problem on
the South Florida front.
378
00:16:54,447 --> 00:16:56,516
Well, I guess
we're all finished.
379
00:16:56,616 --> 00:16:57,650
Ah...No.
380
00:16:57,750 --> 00:16:59,086
No, we're not.
381
00:17:02,089 --> 00:17:03,323
I think you're amazing,
382
00:17:03,423 --> 00:17:05,725
And I can't believe
I screwed up
and asked you out
383
00:17:05,825 --> 00:17:07,227
when you expressly
told me not to.
384
00:17:08,595 --> 00:17:11,864
And I am praying
that when this
divorce thing is over,
385
00:17:11,964 --> 00:17:13,933
and we're not working
together anymore,
386
00:17:14,767 --> 00:17:16,769
you will see fit
to forgive me...
387
00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:20,240
Because you knock me
clear to the moon.
388
00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:22,609
There.
389
00:17:23,143 --> 00:17:24,144
I'm done.
390
00:17:27,314 --> 00:17:28,581
Wow. (CHUCKLES)
391
00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:33,153
One other thing.
392
00:17:34,521 --> 00:17:36,656
I can't believe
how much money
you make.
393
00:17:41,594 --> 00:17:43,029
That is so cool.
394
00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:47,667
They're saying
that Paul's breakdown
in Miami was a lie,
395
00:17:47,767 --> 00:17:49,702
that it was just
two guys on a vacation.
396
00:17:49,802 --> 00:17:51,971
Let me at 'em.
I'm ready to face
the reporters.
397
00:17:52,139 --> 00:17:53,240
I appreciate
that, Paul
398
00:17:53,340 --> 00:17:55,675
but you may want to
take off that bracelet first.
399
00:17:55,775 --> 00:17:58,010
Oh, you're right,
because I'm not crazy.
400
00:18:00,380 --> 00:18:01,881
Can someone
hide Paul?
401
00:18:02,849 --> 00:18:04,451
Come on, Paul.
Everything's
gonna be okay.
402
00:18:04,551 --> 00:18:05,585
I'm not crazy.
Oh, I know
you're not.
403
00:18:05,685 --> 00:18:07,154
I'm not.
I'm not!
404
00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:08,955
This is not hard.
405
00:18:09,055 --> 00:18:11,158
Your alibi just got
wheeled outta here.
406
00:18:11,224 --> 00:18:12,525
Just let
the press know
407
00:18:12,625 --> 00:18:14,294
about Paul's little stay
in the cracker barrel,
408
00:18:14,394 --> 00:18:15,862
and we are
home free!
409
00:18:15,962 --> 00:18:18,064
No. It's one thing
to go up there and say
the guy had a bad day.
410
00:18:18,165 --> 00:18:20,032
It's an entirely
different thing to say
411
00:18:20,167 --> 00:18:21,168
that his
dinner entree
412
00:18:21,234 --> 00:18:22,869
for the last three nights
has been pudding.
413
00:18:24,003 --> 00:18:25,438
It's been
a rough time lately,
414
00:18:25,538 --> 00:18:26,906
what with
the press scrutiny
415
00:18:27,006 --> 00:18:28,375
and the breakup
with Claudia
416
00:18:28,475 --> 00:18:32,312
and being observed
by high school students
on their field trip.
417
00:18:32,412 --> 00:18:35,182
What you have been
through. Hmm.
418
00:18:35,282 --> 00:18:36,749
(TUTS)
419
00:18:36,849 --> 00:18:38,285
See you
tomorrow, Paul.
420
00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:42,222
Well, speaking of
problems, sir,
421
00:18:42,322 --> 00:18:43,690
I gave Claudia
the apartment,
422
00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:46,193
so I have
no place to stay.
423
00:18:52,332 --> 00:18:54,667
Sure is
a big mansion.
424
00:18:55,702 --> 00:18:56,936
Well, it seems
big, Paul,
425
00:18:57,036 --> 00:18:58,871
but there is just
the one bedroom.
426
00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:01,374
Really?
427
00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:03,376
'Cause with
all these hallways,
428
00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:05,312
I never would
have guessed.
429
00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:09,916
Well, that's architecture
for you, Paul.
430
00:19:10,583 --> 00:19:11,818
Bye!
431
00:19:14,587 --> 00:19:16,489
And don't you worry
about me, sir.
432
00:19:16,589 --> 00:19:17,790
The hospital gave me
a whole bottle
433
00:19:17,890 --> 00:19:20,793
of happy pills
to cheer me up,
so I'll be fine.
434
00:19:21,761 --> 00:19:23,730
Wait a minute.
These are aspirin.
435
00:19:25,465 --> 00:19:27,467
Who took my
anti-depressants?
436
00:19:27,567 --> 00:19:29,902
* Oh, the shark, babe
437
00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:31,938
* Has big teeth, dear
438
00:19:32,038 --> 00:19:33,072
Whoo!
439
00:19:33,806 --> 00:19:35,242
* And he keeps them
440
00:19:35,342 --> 00:19:36,876
* Pearly white...
441
00:19:36,976 --> 00:19:39,479
I, uh, uh...
Have a question, Mike?
442
00:19:39,579 --> 00:19:41,080
I got an answer
for you.
443
00:19:41,481 --> 00:19:42,749
Thirteen.
444
00:19:44,784 --> 00:19:46,118
Shoot from
the west side.
445
00:19:46,253 --> 00:19:48,255
You wanna go right down
the west side highway...
446
00:19:48,355 --> 00:19:52,425
It takes you
right across
to my house.
447
00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:55,328
You're on every channel.
448
00:19:55,795 --> 00:19:57,430
You're like Lucy.
449
00:19:59,666 --> 00:20:02,335
If anyone had asked you
how to get to
the Statue of Liberty,
450
00:20:02,435 --> 00:20:04,036
you would have
been arrested.
451
00:20:06,473 --> 00:20:08,641
You guys are
missing the point.
Look at this.
452
00:20:08,741 --> 00:20:10,310
Look at this.
453
00:20:10,410 --> 00:20:14,281
I am on
every channel.
454
00:20:17,250 --> 00:20:19,586
There's no mayor.
There's no Paul.
455
00:20:19,686 --> 00:20:22,855
There's no
South Florida.
This is great!
456
00:20:22,955 --> 00:20:24,324
I mean, the only
downside to this,
457
00:20:24,424 --> 00:20:27,527
is, you know, everyone
thinks I'm a freaking loon!
458
00:20:28,628 --> 00:20:30,297
And you can
live with that?
459
00:20:30,397 --> 00:20:31,998
It's no picnic,
Mike.
460
00:20:35,101 --> 00:20:37,003
I'll have this cleared up
in the 11:00 news.
461
00:20:37,103 --> 00:20:40,072
Tragic case of
mislabeled medication.
Power of prescription drugs.
462
00:20:40,172 --> 00:20:41,841
Call for better
regulation.
463
00:20:41,941 --> 00:20:43,476
It's called spin:
the power of persuasion.
464
00:20:43,576 --> 00:20:45,745
Making people believe
what I want them
to believe.
465
00:20:45,845 --> 00:20:47,914
That's what I do.
It is my gift.
466
00:20:49,449 --> 00:20:51,284
So...
467
00:20:51,384 --> 00:20:54,287
That's what you were
doing with me
this afternoon?
468
00:20:54,387 --> 00:20:56,789
Laurie. I...
Wow. You...
469
00:20:56,889 --> 00:20:59,125
You have, uh,
really delicate
footsteps.
470
00:20:59,225 --> 00:21:01,127
You knock me
clear to the moon.
471
00:21:01,328 --> 00:21:03,229
I cannot believe
I fell for that.
472
00:21:03,330 --> 00:21:04,464
No, I meant that.
473
00:21:04,564 --> 00:21:07,066
I mean, I did,
I mean, every...
every... every word,
474
00:21:07,166 --> 00:21:08,835
Uh, because...
because you do.
475
00:21:08,935 --> 00:21:10,470
I'm sorry.
I wasn't really
listening.
476
00:21:10,570 --> 00:21:14,574
I was trying to imagine
where my apartment was
on your chest.
477
00:21:20,347 --> 00:21:22,415
Ooh, I've never seen
anything like that.
478
00:21:24,984 --> 00:21:26,519
Me neither.
479
00:21:27,554 --> 00:21:29,121
And I grew up
on a farm.
480
00:21:31,991 --> 00:21:34,627
That guy has
got a huge...
481
00:21:34,727 --> 00:21:36,128
Apartment.
482
00:21:38,064 --> 00:21:40,667
No. Carter, you don't
have a problem.
483
00:21:40,767 --> 00:21:42,369
That is just disgusting.
484
00:21:42,469 --> 00:21:44,170
You're not just saying that
to make me feel better?
485
00:21:44,270 --> 00:21:47,073
No. You gotta be a sick
and twisted individual
486
00:21:47,173 --> 00:21:49,476
not to be offended
by something like that.
487
00:21:50,877 --> 00:21:53,413
Oh!
Thank God!
488
00:21:53,513 --> 00:21:54,914
It wasn't me.
489
00:21:56,616 --> 00:21:58,585
STUART: I'll let myself out.
34719
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