Original subtitles

- Don't worry about me now.

I'm fine.

It's coming really lovely.

I'm just going to see my dad.

(slow piano music)

- [Man] Can you tell me the last time

you saw your daughter, Mr. Nelly?

- What's happened?

Has someone roughed her up?

- Nelly, can you sit down please?

- Has someone got hold of her?

What's going on!

- Sit down, please.

- You fucking sit down!

I'm nothing, all right?

I'm nothing to her.

In her whole life.

If she was here now she'd be the first to tell you.

- You're the sperm donor, the SD.

That's what she called you.

- Just get him out of here, please.

- I'm not going anywhere.

Not until I've seen how Claire's doing.

- I'm okay, Nelly.

How are you?

- [Woman] What you gonna do?

- Gonna find her.

Gonna find Jody.

It's me she's called since.

- Where is she, what did she say?

Is she hurt?

- She's called me (indistinct shouting)

Because I am not outside of this!

(indistinct shouting)

- I swear to God it wasn't me.

Ask Stace!

- Fucking need her!

- Nelly please!

- Why? - Wasn't me.

- Don't you fucking lose!

- It wasn't me!

- It has to be you.

It has to

'cause if it's not you then...

If it's...

I went after Melon.

Fucking went after him by...

I don't know what.

It's 'cause she's haunting me.

- You're scaring me a little bit, you know.

(loud banging) (dramatic music)

- Jody was in that room!

That's who's got her!

She's not with some lone freak

who's gonna beast her up by somewhere.

She's with them lot.

Those who keep them in rooms

and film them over and over and over again.

- [Woman] Think I never shit myself thinking

why he wants me.

- Where they going?

- [Woman] The tiny doubt that was quiet.

- You'd make massive.

- We need to come up with a grand.

- How the fuck am I meant to come up with a grand?

- You'll know what we're here for.

The idea was mine to sell.

Never written, 13, all this to start us off

at 2,000 pounds.

(banging)

(child laughing)

- 12. - [Man] 13.

- 14.

I said I'm going to get Jody by hook or fucking crook

15.

- Gideon, he doesn't have it.

- Is there any cash in the room that counts?

Do you have 15,000?

(groaning)

- Jody!

Until the devil turns to dust.

That's how long I'm gonna keep going.

Because I found you

and that means I can find her.

- [Girl] I wanted to thank you.

You saved my life.

- Grace, you see any other girls there?

Girls that look like you?

- There were others, yeah.

(siren peeling)

(bag rattling)

- [Girl] What are we gonna do?

- Just give me a sec.

Give me a minute.

* He's just a stereotype *

* He drinks his age in pints *

* He has girls every night *

* But he doesn't really exist *

- Butterflies have got a pretty great rep,

to be fair.

I mean you say butterflies

and you think lovely colors,

feelings they bring up, joy and that.

Symbols of your soul to some.

Oh butterflies.

Then I come to find out they don't have hearts.

Mad.

It's just bags of blood, innards,

floating, it's like a butterfly and about.

- You think I'm out here heartless

'cause I can scoop you up on my way back,

you leave me with the car.

- They made me promise it would only be me

at the wheel, will not happening, so...

- Here she is.

(slow piano music)

- [Goz] You sure this is her?

- It's her.

- Well she don't know where he's going.

- Just keep up, will you?

I'm gonna need to bag a score.

I know that doubles what I owe you.

- It does, yeah.

- Come Monday, and this.

- And I just wait until you helm it?

- Yeah.

Mind if I say sorry?

You remember me, yeah?

- How did you find me? - You remember who I am?

- How would I forget you?

- Face I showed you last time pass cross,

it wasn't my best. - Did you follow me?

- It weren't deserved.

I wanna beg your pardon for that.

- I don't know where Gideon is.

- My mom used to get me a prezzie extra,

for Christmas and our birthdays.

There's no name on them.

It was got for me to give away.

It was an only kid thing she made up

to be sweet to me.

Come to figure out.

My mate Stace, or one of the kids

from school would mostly end up with them

but I think it's how come I'm here.

Because you come to mind thinking about my prezzie extra.

- Is it your birthday?

- Unless it's Christmas and no one told me, yeah.

All it was was I wanted to check,

see that you were all right.

After everything, they had someone helping you

because the difference it makes.

Miss Bird, I'm trying to take myself seriously

with she says I have days when I'm lost to her,

and everyone.

Off in my pit, she calls it.

Days where she ends up having hold of me

because I'm shaking so much.

She's got a little one so she needs to know

who she's letting in her yard.

I thought she'd be like arriba, arriba,

andelle, andelle, and zoom, you know, like speedy

seeing the mess of me

but she didn't.

Didn't bolt.

Turns out the life she's lived

has had her down as deep, or bloody close,

so there you go.

Lucky me.

The difference that makes.

That she knows how far down to reach to get to me.

And if you say your sister,

or anyone's around doing something like that for you,

I'll leave you to it.

(glasses rattling)

- So I went over everything.

- Gets worse.

- Oh, that you very much. - I can enlighten you

if you want.

- Oh no, don't.

What would be the point?

- Hate saying we're going through the same,

we're close enough.

So let's shoot you down for an owl.

Or pass.

And different shit will come and go.

- Then?

- Emptied out is where it's got me.

None.

That's the pit my lady's on about when I'm in it.

I'm numb to myself, to my own everyone around me

at the minute.

- Numb would be a blessing, I think.

- Oh good luck, it catches you like that.

Some shit scared what it's making of me.

17 months, three weeks, five nearly six days.

- What's that, I don't know?

- Yes you do.

Been without her mom all that time.

- I should go. - I don't have my knee

on your neck.

I don't wanna.

But I will if you make me.

- I don't know where he is.

- Fair enough but you know where he might be?

- [Woman] No, I don't. - Push comes to it,

- [Woman] I just said that. - Where he might go

or who he might call.

He had Grace pretend to be Jody.

He must know something.

I saved three names, addresses, numbers.

Like I know his life depended on it.

Your best guess, please.

Anyone.

- I wouldn't know.

- Keys are over there, on the wall behind you.

Green coat.

He's one of those papa what's it journos.

Worse that couldn't give a fuck sousing kind,

the best I know.

He says you've done amazing.

To keep out of reach for this long.

- You fucking shit. (dramatic music)

- Just write.

Write the best you know.

Or I'm gonna show him and all these

just how buck wild a black man can get.

And the bitch who shields him from the fucking

Rutucki's kid and sold her into hell.

- He didn't say he had anything to do

with your daughter.

- Listen, start and stop with what was

on his fucking computer.

Chat to me about proving.

You know the kind of filth he is.

Just give me names.

Make the first number his.

- Really, I do not believe it at all!

- Doesn't stop it being true.

Never ever. - Ever, ever.

- Never!

- What, not a junking fumbler at snugging the bar.

- It took them to the rug.

(indistinct chatter)

Bernie, I'm not sure about you being up there.

- He must have caught up to doing that, Stace.

- What, are we still talking about this?

- 'Cause it's Nelly Bloody Row.

- I mean the way you two are together.

- Yeah, well I love him.

I never said I didn't.

I love the bones of the man.

It's me best mate.

- Never in a few more?

- For better for worse,

where there ain't much more, is there?

I couldn't fancy, no offense, Zits.

- None taken.

- Yeah, I mean he's got an odd shaped head.

(chuckling)

And that, his wonky legs he's got.

- Well excuse me then, Stace.

- Yeah, well your time will come.

Lights get low enough.

- Chips, all right, very smiley.

- No shit, Zita's sunk.

Ballocks!

(balloon sputtering)

Just don't like the shape of him is all I'm saying.

(phone rapping)

- Is that Zita?

Not in the mood?

We can do this tomorrow, big one.

- I wanna check at least one of the ones

she gave me soon as.

- I think we have a bloody go on the run, eh?

(knocking on door)

(doorbell ringing)

(banging on door)

Might wanna be a bit hushed about ourselves around here.

- Need to know who's home.

(phone ringing)

- [Man] Hello.

- Hello, yes.

Uh yeah, I'm outside.

Pevrol Lane, and uh...

- [Man] Who is this?

- I got a package needs signing.

- [Man] Well I'm not expecting any package.

It's a package for who?

- It's for...

Gideon Charles, says here.

- [Man] How did you get this number?

- I just need someone to step out and sign, please sir.

- [Man] I don't know anyone by that name.

I'm calling the police.

Get away from my home.

And don't call this number again.

- Right.

- Who's that, what's happened?

We should get back, yeah.

There's nothing here.

(gate creaking)

(car engine humming)

- Left two messages saying you should call me back.

Saying it was important,

why didn't you?

I felt cornered.

He cornered me.

And I wrote down your mom and dad's

before I... - Where else?

- Realized that I'd done it.

I didn't do it on purpose.

- Where else did you give him?

- Well here, and...

Your brother's in Hampstead

and the old place in Stubley.

- Right and to Lettingstone.

Homestead, really.

I'll get you some directions.

Brave of you to drive me.

(car engine humming)

- Oh lovely,

I probably shouldn't.

Could've said to expect it, Steve.

As bloody hard as it was.

I can't help it.

What we're here to do, I did.

Found acceptance.

She's gone.

She's dead.

Can say that.

Should've warned me though, Steve.

How I'd miss the pain of her.

I mean how I might do.

That even as it got better.

It would feel worse.

I mean, different worse, you know?

My child is dead.

Can bare the saying.

And it seems wrong that I can.

I mean not wrong, yes actually wrong.

Like the start of forgetting.

That's what we're here to do.

That... - I'm so sorry.

- I didn't meant to.

- I'm so sorry. - [Woman] I didn't mean to.

- There's nothing to be sorry for.

- Sorry. - You don't have to leave.

We can talk in private.

- No, it's not what I meant,

what I was looking for.

I'm not meant to be here.

(door creaking)

(car engine revving)

(children squealing)

- Thanks for today, Goz.

- Hang about, I'll walk with you.

- What time is it?

- About quarter of--

- No, I mean tonight.

What time is it tonight?

Stace made you the one that's meant to drag me, eh?

- In fact you were mate.

- Case off, Goz, I sussed you for morning.

- Sus what?

You lost me.

- Got a spot or something, looking at me like that.

- Just saying hello.

- Any danger of you enjoying yourself today?

- Don't know yet.

You up at the pond later?

- Why would we be?

- Oh you're full of shit, you.

No, no, carry on.

- A statistic showed that birthdays are good for you.

More you have the longer you live, apparently.

- Round ain't gonna do it itself so...

Many happys if they're not wasted on you.

- You look good, T.

- Now who's full of shit?

- Okay, so just act surprised for Stace, will you?

- Well then I'll be the most surprised mug

ever to be surprised by a surprise party

that ain't a surprise to him.

- If you could, it'd be much appreciated, big one.

(faint pop music)

- Who's winning?

- Why'd you have to ask?

- School, mister, you had to don, don, don.

- Norman, native tongue.

(indistinct chatter)

(phone ringing)

- [Gideon] This is Gideon.

Please leave a message.

- I had a coffee with your wife today.

That's how I got your number.

She deserved better, I have to say.

Than you, much better.

You don't have to run from me.

That's what I'm calling to tell you.

Ain't after you for you.

I just want what I didn't get out of you in court.

Rest of the shit will catch up to you when it's ready.

Just what you know about Jody,

that's all this has to be about.

My number must have come up at your end.

You wanna save yourself from facing me?

We could do it on the phone,

it's up to you.

I will tell you for true, though.

We will catch up.

One way or other.

'Cause I'm not gonna stop until we do it.

- Bam!

- Hold it, here, nearly enough, enough!

Now, who did your mom say was picking you up today?

You know what I'm asking, who?

- You.

- Me who, give me a name.

- Nelly.

- And that's me, is it?

Is that me, son? - Yeah.

- And would you do if you don't see it's me out here

for you?

- I'll tell my teacher.

And call mom or dad.

- Jesus, do it at a time, Nelly.

- Good lad.

Earned yourself a swing, here.

- Nelly!

- Jokes.

- Absolute nightmare.

Come on, then.

- And there's the head.

- It's a bit less now, isn't it?

Which way is position?

- How are you asking that?

- Well, I'm messing. - Look at it.

- It's beautiful, like you.

- Don't make me puke now.

- Got any names?

- Yeah, we have.

- Girl's names?

- It's a girl?

- You said you wanted to know.

- Charlotte then.

- [Technician] Just be a sec.

- Hello, Charlotte.

Domineer, Melon's honor,

Charlie.

Charlie, this is your daddy speaking.

Hey, it's our big girl.

- Don't know why.

Can't stop.

- It's all right.

- I'm having a cold choke.

Needed to get rid of that now.

(children squealing)

- Oh my God, what's all this?

It's amazing.

Okay, well get me then.

- [Girl And Goz] One, two, three, surprise!

- Hey, what!

Wow, how, what's this?

Wow, balloons and...

- Stace is gonna destroy me, balloons.

- Stace loves a balloon, trust.

Who this?

Wait what?

Just listen to me,

hey, hey, hey, hey.

Take a deep, deep as you can breath.

Where are you?

Can you text me where you are?

I ain't hanging up until you do.

I'm gonna need your motor.

- Where are we going?

Everything all right?

- Yes.

Yeah, I got it.

You just stay there, yeah?

Just stay there 'cause I'm on my way.

- Who was that?

- I need your keys.

- What's going on?

- I can't tell you why.

- I'll help out. - Just need your keys.

- You can't tell me what?

Wait.

No, she was serious about me being

the only one driving.

- Let go. - Mate, no.

She made me swear on it.

- Anybody asks, Zita or anyone, I'm just running an errand.

- Nelly. - All right,

I am just running and errand.

- What's going on?

- Goz.

(keys jingling)

Listen mate, Goz is gonna sit with you a while

until your mom gets back, is that all right?

- Okay. - Yeah and um,

he's really good reader.

You know, he's...

- He's better than you.

- He is, yeah.

'Cause he knows what all the words mean and that.

You good? - Yeah.

- All right.

- Bye. - See you.

- Just uh-- - I'll be back.

- Sounded like trouble, Nelly.

The only reason I'm asking.

- Tell Stace I'm on my way.

(dramatic piano music)

(car lock beeping)

(dog barking)

- Seriously, Nelly, answer your phone.

Also, if I leave Son with you,

it's you I'm leaving him with, yeah?

- He's still not answering?

- Where are they?

(indistinct chatter)

- Well he's not with you?

There's no sign.

- Did Goz not tell you?

- Yeah, he said some rubbish about an errand,

but he can't say what.

- He'll be back, he'll be back.

- Well, I'm calling him.

- Just did, no answer.

- There's no way he's not coming in here.

He says he's on his way, Stace.

- It's not about him coming in here.

- Why else then, really?

- I asked you to stay with him today.

I asked you because today's the day.

Because of exactly this.

Because of how he'll get today.

So where is he, Goz?

(paper rattling)

(train clacking on tracks)

(knocking on door)

- Grace, when I say go,

we need to go, okay?

Let's go.

- So it's Artem, Artem.

- Yeah.

- He's an upholsterer and eyeing the chair.

(laughing)

Why is that funny?

- He's laying the three end ball.

- He's a master.

- I said the right way?

- Restaurants, hotels?

You know like museums, they be homes, churches.

Custom jobs.

- So he must have upholstered your seat, did he?

(laughing)

- She'll always say that.

Master, it's two months.

- It's not.

- All I know to do.

- Yeah, it's your right.

- Man fell into an upholstery machine.

All good though, he's fully recovered.

(laughing)

- [Young Man] Kaboom! - [Man] Recovered what?

- What can I get you?

- Same again, please.

(indistinct chatter)

- [Woman] Oh my God! - [Man] Take him home.

(door creaking)

- Hi.

You all right?

- Didn't think I would be surprised tonight.

And then there's you.

Blam.

- Happy birthday.

- That Barry's not with you?

- How have you not grown out of that?

- Just asking why he's not come.

- I'm not staying long so...

- It's good to see you CC.

- You too.

- Hold on, hold on,

can I let Goz know I'm here.

- Wait, you're not just getting here?

Priceless.

- I won't be long.

(indistinct chatter)

- [Group] Surprise!

* Happy birthday to you *

* Happy birthday to you *

* Happy birthday dear Nelly *

* Happy birthday to you *

- Thank you, thank you. (crowd applauding)

- [Group] Hip hip hooray, hip hip hooray.

- Happy birthday!

- Oh my God.

- [Man] If you don't like it, I didn't buy it.

- Oh, happy birthday darling.

Girls pass up the blue one, pass up the blue one.

- What's this?

(laughing)

- Yes, defintely does.

- Me too!

- Like it?

- Do I like it?

Do I like being 50?

Oh my God, what's this?

- Open it.

- Only your sheer bloody mindedness

keeping that thin jacket shaped.

- Thank you.

- Put it on, Nelly.

- I'm gonna...

I'm gonna keep this one more night.

You know, proper goodbye.

Thanks, though.

- Nelly.

- Oh look at that, shots!

- [Group] Shots!

Shots, shots, shots, shots, shots.

(indistinct chatter)

* Games changes and fears *

* When will they go from here *

* When will they stop *

* I believe that fate has brought us here *

* And we should be together babe *

* But we're not *

* I'll play it off but I'm dreaming of you *

* I keep my cool *

* But I'm beaten *

* I try to say goodbye and I choke *

* Try to walk away and I stumble *

* Though I try to hide it it's clear *

* My world crumbles when you are not here *

* Goodbye and I choke *

- I wasn't that late.

- Brought this in since seven.

Did you know? - I did not.

But I love you for this, Stace.

- Hate me more like.

- No, no.

That might be exactly what's needed.

(laughing)

- It's there, don't you see it?

Isn't she gorgeous?

* Though my smiles are just a front *

* Just a front *

* Hey *

* I play it off but I'm dreaming of you *

- No, she's gonna be Charlotte after they come with that.

And Dominea after that.

- Chuck Day?

Yeah!

- No, did he say?

Did you say that?

- No she just said it.

I didn't tell her to say it, did I?

- It's a beer belly in a flannel shirt

with a big smelly beard.

That's what it is.

(laughing)

- A single soul in two bodies.

- What's that now?

- Something great my dad would say.

Just want to know why Grace is upstairs

in my mom's bedroom, please mate.

- I finally caught up to her, Stace.

My prezzie extra.

- Nelly, you walk me out?

- What's that?

- I'll call you in a week, Stace.

- Claire?

- What'd you say?

* I play it off but I'm dreaming *

* Said I'm dreaming of you babe *

* And I keep my cool but I'm beaten *

- She made us all on a few years ago.

Not sure why.

I don't know where mine is.

Found this one in a keepsake box.

- Maybe meant for Dylan.

- His was yellow.

She'd give it to you if she could.

- Thank you.

Hey wait, whoa.

What happened with Tam, aren't you telling me?

- Nothing.

- See. - Don't ask him.

You promised me, Nelly.

- Deep down and swear down.

Thank you.

(faint shouting and cheering)

- Claire listen, we just meet once a week.

A cup of tea.

Vickie, maybe.

Her names Mavis and we sit and chat.

- What you or your dead dad?

- I know it's mental.

When you hear it out loud it sounds ridiculous.

But it's not when I'm sitting with her.

- Sorry. - No, don't be.

Bloody laugh if you wanna laugh.

It's a comfort, it really is.

- When did you lose him?

- Five years this October.

- And he really talks to you?

- Mavis tells me what he says.

That's how it works, but yeah.

I'm glad everyone didn't know.

Thanks.

I'm not in there talking about you.

I want you to know that.

Right, we barely even mentioned Jody.

Just what it's doing to Nelly.

- She's not worried about him anyway.

- Yeah, she might have.

But Mavis would never do that.

Heather said that she'd want to know if it was her.

Thought it might be, I don't know,

thought it best said.

You don't have to do anything with it.

- Tell me what she told you.

- Sure.

I was leaving,

she was putting my cup in the sink

and she just said, "Oh, your dad meant to say

tell the mom of the girl in the green hoodie

that she's not here."

- Gotta go.

- Just want you to know.

- Yeah, thanks.

(car engine revving)

* All I needed was the love you gave *

* All I needed for another day *

* And all I ever knew *

* Only you *

- Night, babe.

* And I need you *

- [Man] Nice to meet you.

- [Woman] Yeah, you too.

- Good night, everyone.

- Hey, hey, hey, we didn't even get

a chance to chat, mate.

I thought we had some cake, yeah?

- Night, Nelly. - Next time, yeah?

- Look after you, does he?

- He does, yeah thanks.

He sure does.

- Nice one, here.

- Nelly.

- Just shaking hands.

I just wanna shake hands and say nice one, more?

Nice one.

- Next time.

- Nice one.

* All I needed was the love you gave *

* All I needed for another day *

* And all I ever knew *

* I need you *

- What are you doing?

- That is the end.

(crowd applauding)

- You angry at me, Stace?

- I'm not.

- I did say, I promised myself

I was gonna wear this one come what may

until I got her back.

'Cause I've been lucky in this one.

I must have said it to you.

Did I really never say it out loud?

- I don't care about the jacket.

I care about...

What if you don't, Nels?

- What if I don't what?

- Get to her.

(slow music)

She's been gone how long now, Nels?

It might be worth thinking about it.

Might be.

(banging on door)

- Goz.

(banging on door)

(coughing)

- Can you love not hear? - What?

(chuckling)

- [Woman] Can I...

- Yeah.

Yeah, come in.

- You're a bit late if you've come

to jump out of my cake, Shola.

- Gideon Charles was killed yesterday night.

- Was he?

- Can we chat outside?

- I'm good where I am.

Cheers.

- Where were you yesterday between

5:00pm and 9:00pm?

- [Nelly] You saying it was me?

- Asking where you were.

- I never wanted him dead, why would I?

- Between five and nine, please.

- Goz? - Yeah?

- [Nelly] Lice are asking where I was yesterday.

- I heard her.

I was chaperone most of yesterday.

I had to make he showed up to a birthday party

he didn't wanna show up at.

- When til when?

- About 10 in the AM, all the way through til now.

Give or take a couple of piss breaks and karaoke.

It was over by the river, Putney Way.

- How'd it happen?

Shot, stabbed, car, what?

- I'll probably need to speak to you again.

You too, Michael.

(door creaking)

- What the fuck?

(door creaking)

What the fuck was that?

- You should know better.

- Probably should.

Yeah.

- You shouldn't play me like that, Nelly.

- Hey I forgot to ask.

Found my kid yet?

(slow music)

- You all right?

- Yeah.

- Get some sleep.

- Night Heather. - Night.

(car engine revving)

- What the fuck did you just make me do?

- Always forget he's called Michael.

- No fucking about, Nelly.

- See you later.

- Yeah.

Take your man Dais.

Tell him to calm down and we'll chat later.

- See what he just did for you?

- I did, yeah.

- And he's asking what you did that for.

What that means for him.

- And I heard all that and I'm saying

it's best you take him home

and we chat later.

- Oh come on, let's go.

- Hang about?

The later better not be too long.

Yeah?

(slow piano music)

- What the fuck have you done, Nelly?

(upbeat music)

* Happy *

* Happy birthday *

* And a hug too *

* I remember always always *

* I got such a prize *

* Feeling in my dark cupboard *

* With my record *

* If they were me *

* If they were me *

* And I was you *