Original subtitles

- My medical degree of course, center stage.

Reach Out Team Builder of the Year, 2019.

Certificate IV in Breaking Down Doors.

Yes, I am proud of my education.

Every one of these very expensive degrees

helped make me the stellar health practitioner

I am today.

This one I got just last week.

[laughs]

I'm in so much debt.

[cries uncontrollably]

[drill noises]

[door creaks open]

- Langdon.

Man here for you.

- Mr Marsh.

I'm from the DCC.

I believe you owe us some money.

- Rightio.

Let me just grab my cheque book.

[door creaks]

[door slams]

[door creaks]

- Mr Marsh.

- Ah!

Just, ah, looking for my cheque book.

How much did you say I owe?

- 87 thousand dollars.

- 87 thousand?

- Yeah, 87 thousand.

- All right.

Let me just...

Run Steph! RUN!

[upbeat music]

- To the casual observer,

Steph doesn't seem to be the biggest fan of people.

But I know differently.

How?

Christmas party 2016, bitches.

For one glorious night, we were more than colleagues.

We were friends.

And I won't rest until that beautiful butterfly

bursts out of that fleshy cocoon

and spreads its thin, veiny wings.

- Christmas party?

Nah.

Don't know what you're talking about.

Don't think they had Christmas that year.

Karen?

Look, the socializing I do at work is more than enough.

Yeah, that's why cervical screening tests

are such a challenge.

Too little and the patient feels likes a slab of meat.

Too much and they invite you out for lunch.

There's a sweet spot I like to call the 'Mr Darcy' zone.

Yeah, I like Pride and Prejudice.

Bloody classic, isn't it?

Okay.

Okay.

Let's get this done and dusted.

- Um... don't we do some sort of

awkward small chat or something,

about my weekend plans usually at this point.

[laughs]

- Yeah, sure.

What are you up to?

- Oh, I don't know.

Probably just watch Pride & Prejudice

for the zillionth time.

[laughs]

You know, I've got a massive girl crush on Lizzy Bennett.

[chuckles]

- Okay.

Lots of people have one thing in common.

Hitler loved dogs.

Doesn't mean I'm gonna go to the pub with him.

Nah, I'm sticking to my rule.

Work life, home life, separate.

Stay professional.

[women laughing]

- Hear that?

She never laughs like that with me.

At me, maybe.

But never with me.

- Excuse me, doctor.

Will you be coming back soon?

[women laughing and talking]

- Okay.

All done.

You all right?

- Yeah, and thank you for, like, talking to me

and taking my mind of that.

It's really nice.

I mean, I would've laughed more.

It's just that you

were literally scraping tissue off my cervix.

- No problem.

[chuckles]

Okay, you're good to get dressed now.

[drum beat]

- Okay.

All good.

[chuckles]

- You know, I don't usually do this but um...

there's a really cool Jane Austen thingy going on

in the park, on Saturday.

And I just...

I mean, do you want to come?!

- Oh! I'd love to, but...

- You don't want to come.

Oh, that's cool.

That's cool.

- Oh no, no, no.

Yeah, no.

I'd love to, but...

- Okay, come then!

It'll be great.

Alright! I'll go get the leaflet.

Wait right there.

- Okay.

- So, just to clarify.

If I don't pay,

who will I be sharing a cell with?

Rapists?

Wow.

Okay.

Well thank you.

This has been very enlightening.

- Langdon, I am terrible at lying.

We need to make plans for this Saturday, quick.

- You don't know how long I've waited

for you to say those exact words.

[files rummaging]

I'll pick you up at four a.m.,

so we can go watch the sunrise

in the Yarra Valley.

Then, there's this delightful winery

on the way back.

Then, back to Melbs to Build-a-Bear.

We design each other's bears

based on things we love about each other.

So, that'll take us up to about midday.

Then of course, wherever you want to go for lunch.

[giggles]

... got an appointment.

Got to keep working.

Can't always be friends.

[chuckles]

- Gwen!

We need to make plans for the weekend.

- Sorry, Steph.

Me and the girls, we're collecting bottles

on the highway to save for our trip to Magaluf.

- Won't you need like ten thousand?

- Yeah, we're starting very early.

- What is happening...

Ohh!!

No, I'm not overreacting.

This is how it starts.

You go to the park one day,

and the next, you're remembering birthdays

every day of the year.

And being invited to baby showers.

Not on my watch.

[rummaging and ripping through papers]

[crackling fire]

Wha-?

Oh, stupid remote!

[crackling fire]

Ohhh!

[phone ringing]

[grunting]

Stupid automatic locking mechanism!

[knocking on door]

- Open up, I can't get out!

[coughing]

- Stupid me.

[clears throat] Langdon, I need your help.

- So, now you need me.

Well, tough titties Steph.

I'm not helping.

- Well, um, so, my office is on fire,

and there is a patient trapped inside.

- Well of course I'll help!

And I can finally make use of this!

[glass breaking]

My emergency key to your office!

- Langdon!

[drum beat]

- Hey, I'm ... I'm

sorry about the whole fire thing.

- Accidents happen.

I've got two words for you:

Fire. Insurance.

- I started the fire.

- Shit.

- Okay, I owe you one.

Yeah? Like, maybe one day we could do

one of those lame things

you were talking about.

Like next week.

Or month.

- Nah.

Go hang out with her.

She'll ... be a better mate than I could be.

Go on.

- Hey.

I'm sorry.

I'm an idiot.

- [British accent] You consult

your own feelings on the matter

or seek to gratify mine?

- Both I imagine,

Mr Darcy.

- You break free from that chrysalis girl.

I can't remember why I was ever worried today.

- Mr Marsh.

- Run Steph!

RUN!

[upbeat music]

- In 2017, Pap Tests were replaced

by Cervical Screening Tests.

- The physical procedure

for Cervical Screening Tests

is exactly the same as the Pap Test,

only they're way more accurate.

- So if you're over 25

and you have a cervix,

you'll get your first Cervical Screening Test

two years after your last Pap Test.

- And if all the results come back normal,

you only need to be tested every five years.

- So if you're over 25

and you haven't had a Pap Test yet,

or a Cervical Screening Test,

chat to your doctor.

Like. It's a really simple procedure,

it's over super quick,

and you wanna get it done.

I can't stress this enough.

Like, cervical cancer is shit.

- It's super shit.

[upbeat music]