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1
00:00:02,135 --> 00:00:03,435
Hey, xandir,
2
00:00:03,470 --> 00:00:05,437
You know what job
you'd be perfect for?
3
00:00:05,472 --> 00:00:06,772
Basket weaver?
4
00:00:06,806 --> 00:00:07,773
Nope.
5
00:00:07,807 --> 00:00:10,275
Director of homo land
security.
6
00:00:10,310 --> 00:00:12,611
[laughing]
7
00:00:12,645 --> 00:00:15,347
Hey, cap, guess what
I just told xandir?
8
00:00:15,382 --> 00:00:18,217
That he should be
director of
homo land security?
9
00:00:18,251 --> 00:00:19,385
How did you know?
10
00:00:19,419 --> 00:00:21,286
You've told me, like,
5 times now.
11
00:00:21,321 --> 00:00:23,922
Plus I've always said
he's the right man
for the job...
12
00:00:23,957 --> 00:00:26,792
If you fat cats
up in washington
have the guts
13
00:00:26,826 --> 00:00:28,927
To appoint someone who
thinks outside the box.
14
00:00:31,965 --> 00:00:35,834
Ha ha! It just keeps
getting funnier every--
15
00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:37,603
Aah! Uhh!
16
00:00:37,637 --> 00:00:39,438
Ow! Oh, my god!
17
00:00:39,472 --> 00:00:41,106
I'm crashing!
18
00:00:41,141 --> 00:00:43,008
I've been downloaded
with a virus!
19
00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:44,443
Downloaded?
20
00:00:44,477 --> 00:00:46,045
C'est ce qui
downloaded?
21
00:00:46,079 --> 00:00:48,280
I'm an internet
download pig!
22
00:00:48,314 --> 00:00:50,115
That's the fucking
premise
23
00:00:50,150 --> 00:00:52,017
Of my character,
q-q-q-queer!
24
00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:53,452
Everyone remain calm.
25
00:00:53,486 --> 00:00:55,788
I will use
my captain hero
communicator
26
00:00:55,822 --> 00:00:57,289
To call 911.
27
00:00:57,323 --> 00:00:59,124
[beeping]
wait.
28
00:00:59,159 --> 00:01:00,626
I can fly!
29
00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:05,130
Get in.
30
00:01:05,165 --> 00:01:08,067
I think the hospital's
that way!
31
00:01:24,451 --> 00:01:26,585
This ain't no
monster god.
32
00:01:27,987 --> 00:01:30,522
It's hans the 6-armed
circus freak.
33
00:01:30,557 --> 00:01:33,292
Well, foxxy,
you've cracked
yet another case.
34
00:01:33,326 --> 00:01:35,961
So, I'll just need
a copy of your mystery
solving license
35
00:01:35,995 --> 00:01:38,130
So I can take
this guy downtown.
36
00:01:38,164 --> 00:01:40,232
Mystery solvin'
whaa?
37
00:01:40,266 --> 00:01:43,035
You don't have a mystery
solving license?
38
00:01:43,069 --> 00:01:45,104
Child, I didn't even
go to college.
39
00:01:45,138 --> 00:01:47,439
Then we're gonna have to
let this guy go.
40
00:01:47,474 --> 00:01:49,441
But he's
a child molester!
41
00:01:49,476 --> 00:01:51,443
Licensed
child molester.
42
00:01:51,478 --> 00:01:53,445
People like you
make me sick.
43
00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:54,780
But...But...
44
00:01:54,814 --> 00:01:57,449
Ah, but nothing.
Without your
mystery solving license,
45
00:01:57,484 --> 00:02:00,519
You aren't allowed
to solve any more
mysteries ever again.
46
00:02:00,553 --> 00:02:02,621
[gasps]
47
00:02:07,327 --> 00:02:08,627
Danny needs his puffs!
48
00:02:08,661 --> 00:02:10,462
Someone get me
some fucking puffs!
49
00:02:10,497 --> 00:02:12,131
What the hell's wrong
with me, doc?
50
00:02:12,165 --> 00:02:13,632
[farts]
51
00:02:13,667 --> 00:02:16,201
You've been downloaded
with the deadly
cuddly bear virus.
52
00:02:16,236 --> 00:02:17,936
You'll be dead
within a week.
53
00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:19,772
Oh, my god!
I'm gonna die?
54
00:02:19,806 --> 00:02:21,774
Yep, unless I give you
these drugs.
55
00:02:21,808 --> 00:02:23,776
Drugs? Gimme, gimme,
gimme, gimme!
56
00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:25,577
You do have health
insurance, don't you?
57
00:02:25,612 --> 00:02:27,112
Health whaa?
58
00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:28,614
Oh...You...
59
00:02:28,648 --> 00:02:30,282
Don't have
health insurance.
60
00:02:30,316 --> 00:02:32,785
Well, don't worry.
61
00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:34,286
Aah!
62
00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:35,788
Unh!
63
00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:38,223
[roaring]
aah!
64
00:02:38,258 --> 00:02:39,958
Foxxy: I tried to forget
65
00:02:39,993 --> 00:02:42,828
All about
solving mysteries.
66
00:02:51,571 --> 00:02:52,805
But forgetting,
67
00:02:52,839 --> 00:02:56,709
Like granddaddy when
we played bouncy horse,
was very hard.
68
00:02:56,743 --> 00:03:01,246
It seemed like everybody
had they mystery solving
license.
69
00:03:01,281 --> 00:03:03,248
Everybody but the foxxy.
70
00:03:03,283 --> 00:03:05,217
This is no genius
werewolf.
71
00:03:05,251 --> 00:03:09,388
It's just
some near-sighted
armenian woman.
72
00:03:09,422 --> 00:03:10,889
This is no mummy.
73
00:03:10,924 --> 00:03:13,025
This is just a
tragic burn victim.
74
00:03:13,059 --> 00:03:14,493
[groaning]
75
00:03:14,527 --> 00:03:16,495
This is no fat monster.
76
00:03:16,529 --> 00:03:17,863
Aah!
77
00:03:17,897 --> 00:03:19,698
It's a blood fountain!
78
00:03:19,733 --> 00:03:21,333
You're a good man,
captain hero.
79
00:03:21,368 --> 00:03:22,668
Foxxy: it wasn't fair!
80
00:03:22,702 --> 00:03:25,337
Foxxy needed to get her
mystery solving license.
81
00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:27,106
And everybody knows
82
00:03:27,140 --> 00:03:29,108
There's only one way
to do that.
83
00:03:29,142 --> 00:03:31,710
Foxxy love
is went to college.
84
00:03:31,745 --> 00:03:33,612
Oh, my god!
85
00:03:33,646 --> 00:03:35,681
Uhh! Ow!
86
00:03:35,715 --> 00:03:37,149
[farts]
87
00:03:37,183 --> 00:03:39,184
Boy, you really
need health insurance.
88
00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:41,520
Too bad you're not in
the questing business.
89
00:03:41,554 --> 00:03:43,188
I get great
health insurance.
90
00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:45,024
It would even cover
my wife and kids,
91
00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:47,993
Or more realistically,
a cocoa-skinned
life partner.
92
00:03:48,028 --> 00:03:49,395
Oh, fernando,
93
00:03:49,429 --> 00:03:51,497
One day I'll tame
your wild ways.
94
00:03:54,034 --> 00:03:56,168
Dude, you mean
if I gay marry you,
95
00:03:56,202 --> 00:03:58,203
I'd get free
health insurance?
96
00:03:58,238 --> 00:04:00,439
Well, I suppose.
97
00:04:00,473 --> 00:04:03,409
Die or marry a homo.
98
00:04:03,443 --> 00:04:05,744
I didn't know
what to do.
99
00:04:05,779 --> 00:04:06,879
Tell you what.
100
00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:08,747
You decide, america!
101
00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:10,983
Announcer: log on now
and cast your vote.
102
00:04:13,486 --> 00:04:15,120
Announcer: america,
you decided.
103
00:04:15,155 --> 00:04:16,955
With a grand total
of 13 to 8,
104
00:04:16,990 --> 00:04:19,992
Spanky will marry the homo.
105
00:04:22,028 --> 00:04:26,765
¶ indistinct singing ¶
106
00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:28,767
This is so nice
of you, spanky.
107
00:04:28,802 --> 00:04:30,936
How did you know
I wanted to see
108
00:04:30,970 --> 00:04:34,173
Queenie mchomoslurp
in analsville
on gay ice part gay?
109
00:04:34,207 --> 00:04:35,908
Just a hunch.
110
00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:37,776
Um...Xandir?
111
00:04:37,811 --> 00:04:38,777
Oh!
112
00:04:38,812 --> 00:04:41,046
S-spanky,
what are you doing?
113
00:04:41,081 --> 00:04:42,581
[p.A. Chimes]
114
00:04:44,918 --> 00:04:47,019
Oh! I feel like
a schoolboy.
115
00:04:47,053 --> 00:04:49,221
But this is
pretty good, too.
116
00:04:49,255 --> 00:04:51,190
Spanky: I was about
to propose to xandir,
117
00:04:51,224 --> 00:04:52,725
And then,
out of nowhere,
118
00:04:52,759 --> 00:04:55,160
That damn diamond vision
tried to move in on my man!
119
00:04:55,195 --> 00:04:56,495
Oh, no, diamond vision!
120
00:04:56,529 --> 00:04:57,830
I was here first!
121
00:05:00,266 --> 00:05:02,768
I'll kill you, you
technological marvel!
122
00:05:02,802 --> 00:05:04,003
[cat screeches]
oh, spanky.
123
00:05:04,037 --> 00:05:05,371
That is so sweet.
124
00:05:05,405 --> 00:05:07,539
No one has ever
fought for me...
125
00:05:07,574 --> 00:05:08,874
For my honor.
126
00:05:08,908 --> 00:05:10,275
I'll do it.
127
00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,745
I'll gay marry you
for the insurance.
128
00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:26,291
Foxxy: so I tried to
study up for them sats,
129
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:28,627
But it became abundantly
clear that this was just
130
00:05:28,661 --> 00:05:30,963
Another conspiracy
to keep the black man down.
131
00:05:30,997 --> 00:05:32,364
Like swimmin'.
132
00:05:32,399 --> 00:05:34,967
This whole test
is racially biased.
133
00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:36,935
Question number one--
134
00:05:36,970 --> 00:05:39,104
"what s.P.F. Lotion
would you use
135
00:05:39,139 --> 00:05:41,607
"if you was gonna spend
a day at the polo grounds,
136
00:05:41,641 --> 00:05:43,108
Fellow klan member?"
137
00:05:43,143 --> 00:05:45,944
Oh, you don't need
sunblock if you've
got your klan hood on.
138
00:05:45,979 --> 00:05:48,113
Everyone knows that,
foxxy.
139
00:05:49,382 --> 00:05:51,450
Unh! Huh?
140
00:05:51,484 --> 00:05:53,552
Hmm!
141
00:05:53,586 --> 00:05:54,720
[screaming]
142
00:05:54,754 --> 00:05:57,022
¶ ling-ling
into battle go ¶
143
00:05:57,057 --> 00:05:59,892
¶ fulfill destiny
of the soul ¶
144
00:05:59,926 --> 00:06:01,894
¶ severed souls... ¶
145
00:06:03,997 --> 00:06:05,130
[gasps]
146
00:06:05,165 --> 00:06:06,865
Ling-ling gots
a perfect score!
147
00:06:06,900 --> 00:06:08,267
Well, of course.
148
00:06:08,301 --> 00:06:10,602
Orientals are genetically
good at standardized tests.
149
00:06:10,637 --> 00:06:12,604
Uh, duh!
150
00:06:12,639 --> 00:06:15,341
[humming asian melody]
151
00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:18,344
Ling-ling,
you need to take
my sats for me.
152
00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:19,044
[speaking japanese]
153
00:06:22,782 --> 00:06:25,718
I'll be your
best friend.
154
00:06:25,752 --> 00:06:26,885
Ah!
155
00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:27,586
[speaking japanese]
156
00:06:32,992 --> 00:06:34,126
Hiya!
157
00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:35,594
[screaming]
158
00:06:35,628 --> 00:06:36,295
[speaking japanese]
159
00:06:40,934 --> 00:06:42,835
[wedding March playing]
160
00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:56,882
We are gathered
here today
161
00:06:56,916 --> 00:06:59,385
To give these 2 queens
special rights.
162
00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:03,255
Aah! What is this
unholy abomination?
163
00:07:03,289 --> 00:07:04,623
Hi, clara.
164
00:07:04,657 --> 00:07:06,125
You're just in time
to witness
165
00:07:06,159 --> 00:07:08,427
A fake gay marriage
for the health
insurance.
166
00:07:08,461 --> 00:07:10,629
What?
If gays get married,
167
00:07:10,663 --> 00:07:13,065
The institution of marriage
will be destroyed!
168
00:07:13,099 --> 00:07:14,566
Societies will crumble!
169
00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:16,201
Rivers will run with blood!
170
00:07:16,236 --> 00:07:18,937
Nazis will once again
ride on dinosaurs!
171
00:07:18,972 --> 00:07:20,606
I'll take care
of this.
172
00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:22,775
Hey, clara,
there's a jew outside
173
00:07:22,809 --> 00:07:24,877
Trying to poison a well!
174
00:07:24,911 --> 00:07:26,879
Aah! Oh, my god!
175
00:07:26,913 --> 00:07:29,181
Get away from
that well, hebrew.
176
00:07:29,215 --> 00:07:32,351
What? I'm putting in
water purification
tablets.
177
00:07:32,385 --> 00:07:33,852
Spanky tricked me.
178
00:07:33,887 --> 00:07:35,621
As god as my witness,
179
00:07:35,655 --> 00:07:37,623
I'll put an end
to this gay marriage.
180
00:07:37,657 --> 00:07:39,425
I swear!
[thunder]
181
00:07:40,694 --> 00:07:42,628
Nice tits.
182
00:07:42,662 --> 00:07:46,498
[gasps]
183
00:07:46,533 --> 00:07:48,500
Man: heather jaimeson?
Girl: here.
184
00:07:48,535 --> 00:07:51,804
Man: rachel forenstein?
Girl: here.
185
00:07:51,838 --> 00:07:54,807
Foxxy chaquafaffa love?
186
00:07:54,841 --> 00:07:55,874
Hiya!
187
00:07:55,909 --> 00:07:57,976
Um, you don't look
188
00:07:58,011 --> 00:07:59,378
Like a black woman.
189
00:08:01,081 --> 00:08:02,715
[beat boxing]
190
00:08:02,749 --> 00:08:04,216
Word, wiki-wiki,
191
00:08:04,250 --> 00:08:06,352
Fravor frav!
192
00:08:06,386 --> 00:08:09,288
Right.
193
00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:10,889
Aah!
194
00:08:10,924 --> 00:08:12,758
[roaring]
aah!
195
00:08:16,262 --> 00:08:17,529
Aah!
196
00:08:19,699 --> 00:08:22,001
The board of education
doesn't take kindly
197
00:08:22,035 --> 00:08:23,335
To what you're doing.
198
00:08:23,370 --> 00:08:26,205
We don't mind asians
taking the test
for white kids
199
00:08:26,239 --> 00:08:28,207
Or even the jews,
but we'll be damned
200
00:08:28,241 --> 00:08:30,376
If we'll let you
help the blacks.
201
00:08:30,410 --> 00:08:31,977
[speaking japanese]
202
00:08:40,253 --> 00:08:43,088
So, so, so.
203
00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:45,057
Now, you're going
back in there,
204
00:08:45,091 --> 00:08:47,693
And you're gonna
fail miss love's test
on purpose.
205
00:08:47,727 --> 00:08:48,394
[speaking japanese]
206
00:08:52,098 --> 00:08:53,432
If you don't,
207
00:08:53,466 --> 00:08:55,968
Butch here is gonna
go to your house
208
00:08:56,002 --> 00:08:57,369
And walk around...
209
00:08:57,404 --> 00:08:59,204
Without taking
off his shoes.
210
00:08:59,239 --> 00:09:00,539
[gasps]
211
00:09:00,573 --> 00:09:02,741
[laughing]
212
00:09:02,776 --> 00:09:04,176
Xandir and spanky,
213
00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:05,511
I pronounce you
214
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,112
Legally gay married.
215
00:09:07,147 --> 00:09:10,382
And now for the
traditional stomping of
the mayonnaise packets.
216
00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:13,152
All: mazeltoff!
217
00:09:13,186 --> 00:09:14,286
Oh!
218
00:09:16,823 --> 00:09:18,657
[all cheering]
219
00:09:20,326 --> 00:09:22,361
Xandir,
you saved my life.
220
00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:24,863
You're as kind as
the $3.00 bill.
221
00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:27,533
I wish there was some
way I could repay you.
222
00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:29,168
Well, I--
I was hoping
223
00:09:29,202 --> 00:09:31,303
You'd stop defecating
in my sock drawer.
224
00:09:31,338 --> 00:09:34,006
Jesus, woman!
We've only been married
5 minutes,
225
00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:35,674
And you're
already nagging?
226
00:09:35,709 --> 00:09:37,142
I need my space.
227
00:09:41,881 --> 00:09:43,182
This is princess clara
228
00:09:43,216 --> 00:09:44,817
Calling for
the king of insurance.
229
00:09:44,851 --> 00:09:46,852
Yes, I'd like to report
230
00:09:46,886 --> 00:09:48,854
A fake gay marriage.
231
00:09:48,888 --> 00:09:50,989
And I'd like to report
a great set of tits.
232
00:09:56,629 --> 00:09:57,763
[squirrel mumbling]
233
00:09:57,797 --> 00:09:59,431
Xandir: I'd done
the right thing
234
00:09:59,466 --> 00:10:01,767
And gay married spanky
for the insurance.
235
00:10:01,801 --> 00:10:03,569
Those pills
worked great, doc.
236
00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:05,237
Now the only
fever I have
237
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:06,672
Is disco fever!
238
00:10:06,706 --> 00:10:08,240
[stayin' alive
by the bee gees playing]
239
00:10:08,274 --> 00:10:10,209
Hey, yeah, whoo!
Ha ha!
240
00:10:10,243 --> 00:10:12,544
A few more weeks
of treatment,
and you'll be cured.
241
00:10:12,579 --> 00:10:14,413
Health insurance rocks!
242
00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:16,415
You can throw out
your condoms
243
00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:18,250
And really start
living life!
244
00:10:18,284 --> 00:10:20,819
Hey, you want
to go play in that
medical waste dump?
245
00:10:20,854 --> 00:10:23,255
[both laughing]
246
00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:24,590
Look at me!
247
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:26,825
I'm making
medical waste angels!
248
00:10:26,860 --> 00:10:28,894
[laughing]
249
00:10:30,430 --> 00:10:31,864
I cut myself.
250
00:10:31,898 --> 00:10:33,365
I hate to spoil
your fun, spanky,
251
00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:35,034
But the king
of insurance is coming
252
00:10:35,068 --> 00:10:36,802
To verify your
so-called marriage.
253
00:10:36,836 --> 00:10:39,471
Soon, your whole sinful
scam will be over.
254
00:10:39,506 --> 00:10:40,773
Ta-ta!
255
00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:42,708
[laughing]
256
00:10:42,742 --> 00:10:45,010
Great, now I'm gonna
lose my insurance.
257
00:10:45,045 --> 00:10:47,813
I'll be more diseased
than dumpy the waste man!
258
00:10:49,549 --> 00:10:50,949
Kill me!
259
00:10:52,218 --> 00:10:54,353
My test scores came!
260
00:10:54,387 --> 00:10:56,755
580?
261
00:10:56,790 --> 00:11:00,492
Ling-ling, what the
h-e-single-hockey-stick
happened?
262
00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:06,799
I decided to solve
the asian-failing-the-
standardized-test mystery
263
00:11:06,833 --> 00:11:09,868
Even if I didn't
have some fancy
mystery solving license.
264
00:11:09,903 --> 00:11:12,938
So, I drove right over
to that board
of education place,
265
00:11:12,972 --> 00:11:15,908
Even if I didn't have some
fancy driver's license.
266
00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:20,846
Now, those are
some fat rides
267
00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:23,048
For state employees.
268
00:11:23,083 --> 00:11:25,351
Hmm...
269
00:11:25,385 --> 00:11:27,886
Seems like you can
make lots of cheddar
270
00:11:27,921 --> 00:11:30,089
In the education racket.
271
00:11:30,123 --> 00:11:31,924
[alarm blaring]
272
00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:34,593
Put your hands
in the air!
273
00:11:34,627 --> 00:11:36,061
And don't even
think about
274
00:11:36,096 --> 00:11:37,730
Waving them around
like you just don't care.
275
00:11:37,764 --> 00:11:39,598
Oh, lordy!
276
00:11:39,632 --> 00:11:42,368
Oh, this is not
the chafing dish
we registered for!
277
00:11:42,402 --> 00:11:44,036
Mother fucker!
[cat screeches]
278
00:11:44,070 --> 00:11:46,205
Would you shut up?
I'm so dead.
279
00:11:46,239 --> 00:11:48,974
Now the king of
insurance is gonna know
we're not really married.
280
00:11:49,009 --> 00:11:51,043
All right, calm down.
All we need to do
281
00:11:51,077 --> 00:11:52,745
Is make it look
like we're married.
282
00:11:52,779 --> 00:11:54,546
And nothing says
"just fake gay married"
283
00:11:54,581 --> 00:11:56,648
Like a fake gay
honeymoon!
284
00:11:56,683 --> 00:11:57,883
Wooldoor: say cheese!
285
00:11:57,917 --> 00:11:59,184
Cheese!
Cheese!
286
00:12:14,668 --> 00:12:16,435
[doorbell rings]
287
00:12:16,469 --> 00:12:18,771
Thank god you're here,
king of insurance.
288
00:12:18,805 --> 00:12:20,105
Oh, well, of course.
289
00:12:20,140 --> 00:12:22,441
If there's a fake marriage
for the insurance,
290
00:12:22,475 --> 00:12:24,443
Then I must
put a stop to it.
291
00:12:24,477 --> 00:12:27,379
We don't want nazis
riding on dinosaurs, do we?
292
00:12:27,414 --> 00:12:29,682
Both: ¶ la la la
la la la la la la ¶
293
00:12:31,418 --> 00:12:33,552
Well, they seem
like pansies to me.
294
00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:35,287
Oh, they're
totally acting.
295
00:12:35,321 --> 00:12:38,223
Well, then
I'll need some proof
of your marriage.
296
00:12:38,258 --> 00:12:40,059
Check out these
honeymoon pictures.
297
00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:41,727
We traveled
around the world!
298
00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:44,063
Going around the
world doesn't prove
they're gay married.
299
00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:45,898
The moon
isn't gay married.
300
00:12:45,932 --> 00:12:47,733
I can assure you,
your highness,
301
00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:49,535
We're a very
committed couple.
302
00:12:49,569 --> 00:12:53,706
Yes, we even
adopted one of
those philippino babies.
303
00:12:53,740 --> 00:12:55,774
What? That's just
a piece of paper
304
00:12:55,809 --> 00:12:57,409
With the word "baby"
written on it.
305
00:12:57,444 --> 00:12:59,044
Don't make fun
of our little timmy.
306
00:12:59,079 --> 00:13:00,379
[whispers]
he's sensitive.
307
00:13:00,413 --> 00:13:02,948
Baby voice: someday,
when I grow up,
308
00:13:02,982 --> 00:13:05,117
I'm gonna be
an origami swan.
309
00:13:05,151 --> 00:13:06,552
You'll see!
310
00:13:06,586 --> 00:13:09,121
A big, beautiful
origami swan.
311
00:13:09,155 --> 00:13:10,823
So fuck you!
312
00:13:10,857 --> 00:13:12,624
Well, I must say
313
00:13:12,659 --> 00:13:15,561
You do have very
impressive evidence.
314
00:13:15,595 --> 00:13:17,296
Come on,
spanky's not gay.
315
00:13:17,330 --> 00:13:19,898
If he's so gay,
let's see him
do the hat dance.
316
00:13:19,933 --> 00:13:21,800
You're thinking
of the mexicans.
317
00:13:21,835 --> 00:13:23,669
The gays
have the butt sex.
318
00:13:23,703 --> 00:13:26,538
Well, then
let's see you do that.
319
00:13:26,573 --> 00:13:28,040
Whoa, yes!
320
00:13:28,074 --> 00:13:29,608
Please do.
321
00:13:31,244 --> 00:13:33,679
God damn it.
I should've done
the hat dance.
322
00:13:35,915 --> 00:13:37,282
Aah!
323
00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:38,550
[groaning]
324
00:13:38,585 --> 00:13:40,486
Man: welcome,
miss love.
325
00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:42,254
Who do you
think you is?
326
00:13:42,288 --> 00:13:44,056
I is...
327
00:13:44,090 --> 00:13:45,991
The board
of education.
328
00:13:46,026 --> 00:13:47,559
Holy crap!
329
00:13:47,594 --> 00:13:49,561
You from
the schoolhouse rocgang.
330
00:13:49,596 --> 00:13:51,797
What the hell
is going on around here?
331
00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:53,399
Now that you've
been captured,
332
00:13:53,433 --> 00:13:55,367
It's safe to
tell you our plan.
333
00:13:55,402 --> 00:13:57,102
[music plays]
334
00:13:59,572 --> 00:14:03,108
¶ I am the board
of education ¶
335
00:14:03,143 --> 00:14:06,745
¶ I'm here to
serve the interests
of our nation ¶
336
00:14:06,780 --> 00:14:08,614
¶ but keeping kids
learning ¶
337
00:14:08,648 --> 00:14:10,516
¶ doesn't fetch
much of an earning ¶
338
00:14:10,550 --> 00:14:12,618
¶ so to make
some decent money ¶
339
00:14:12,652 --> 00:14:14,853
¶ something
had to be done ¶
340
00:14:14,888 --> 00:14:16,789
Being the genius
that I am,
341
00:14:16,823 --> 00:14:18,624
I combined 2 time-honored
american methods
342
00:14:18,658 --> 00:14:19,958
Of achieving wealth--
343
00:14:19,993 --> 00:14:21,460
Selling stupid stuff
to suckers
344
00:14:21,494 --> 00:14:23,362
And exploiting
the black man.
345
00:14:23,396 --> 00:14:25,297
¶ now we make
countless millions ¶
346
00:14:25,331 --> 00:14:27,333
¶ off the worthless crap
that black folks buy ¶
347
00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:29,201
¶ from their very first
gold tooth ¶
348
00:14:29,235 --> 00:14:31,070
¶ down to their
pimped out rides ¶
349
00:14:31,104 --> 00:14:33,339
¶ huge medallions,
tacky bling ¶
350
00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:35,274
¶ no one would buy
those things ¶
351
00:14:35,308 --> 00:14:36,942
¶ unless there was a way ¶
352
00:14:36,976 --> 00:14:38,777
¶ to keep them
gullibly dumb ¶
353
00:14:38,812 --> 00:14:41,046
¶ so we keep them
out of college ¶
354
00:14:41,081 --> 00:14:43,282
¶ it's what
needs to be done ¶
355
00:14:43,316 --> 00:14:46,952
So, you see why we can't
let blacks pass the sats.
356
00:14:46,986 --> 00:14:49,054
No educated person
would spend money
357
00:14:49,089 --> 00:14:51,056
On gold rims,
purple leather seats,
358
00:14:51,091 --> 00:14:55,027
And flip-down lcd screens
for $3,000 geos.
359
00:14:57,097 --> 00:14:58,797
You racist blockhead!
360
00:14:58,832 --> 00:15:01,333
You'll never get away
with anything that stupid.
361
00:15:01,368 --> 00:15:02,501
Oh, yeah?
362
00:15:02,535 --> 00:15:03,836
Well, as we speak,
363
00:15:03,870 --> 00:15:05,637
My secret weapon
is on a train,
364
00:15:05,672 --> 00:15:07,439
Set to distributed
throughout the country
365
00:15:07,474 --> 00:15:09,441
To make sure
no black person
366
00:15:09,476 --> 00:15:11,677
Ever passes their sats
367
00:15:11,711 --> 00:15:13,345
Ever again.
368
00:15:13,380 --> 00:15:15,514
Good-bye, foxxy love.
369
00:15:15,548 --> 00:15:17,716
[laughs]
370
00:15:17,751 --> 00:15:19,351
[roaring]
371
00:15:19,386 --> 00:15:21,020
Oops.
Wrong lever.
372
00:15:21,054 --> 00:15:22,688
[laughs]
373
00:15:22,722 --> 00:15:24,490
Aah!
[roars]
374
00:15:28,828 --> 00:15:30,129
[clanks]
375
00:15:30,163 --> 00:15:31,630
So...Darling...
376
00:15:31,664 --> 00:15:33,098
Are you ready?
377
00:15:33,133 --> 00:15:34,466
Ironically,
the only way
378
00:15:34,501 --> 00:15:36,268
I could get rid
of the virus
379
00:15:36,302 --> 00:15:38,003
Was to have gay sex.
380
00:15:38,038 --> 00:15:40,773
I tried to think
of the sexiest
thoughts I could
381
00:15:40,807 --> 00:15:42,441
To get the blood flowing.
382
00:15:42,475 --> 00:15:44,043
Mm-hmm. All right.
383
00:15:44,077 --> 00:15:46,345
Next. Done and done.
384
00:15:46,379 --> 00:15:47,713
Huh? What the--
385
00:15:47,747 --> 00:15:49,615
Ok. Mm-hmm.
386
00:15:49,649 --> 00:15:51,183
Indeedy-deed.
387
00:15:51,217 --> 00:15:52,551
Cookie flip.
388
00:15:52,585 --> 00:15:55,888
Well, hello,
hello, hello.
389
00:15:55,922 --> 00:15:57,790
But nothing
seemed to work.
390
00:15:57,824 --> 00:15:59,291
King, I'm not gay!
391
00:15:59,325 --> 00:16:00,559
¶ told you ¶
392
00:16:00,593 --> 00:16:03,529
Your insurance
is hereby...
393
00:16:03,563 --> 00:16:06,498
R-r-r-r-r-r-revoked!
394
00:16:09,903 --> 00:16:10,836
[speaking japanese]
395
00:16:17,510 --> 00:16:19,311
[grunts] hmm!
396
00:16:19,346 --> 00:16:21,113
Oh.
397
00:16:21,147 --> 00:16:22,548
Ok.
398
00:16:22,582 --> 00:16:23,549
Hmm.
399
00:16:23,583 --> 00:16:24,550
[speaking japanese]
400
00:16:27,754 --> 00:16:29,288
[roaring]
401
00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:31,256
Aah!
402
00:16:31,291 --> 00:16:32,524
Ling-ling!
403
00:16:32,559 --> 00:16:33,492
[speaking japanese]
404
00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:38,530
[roars]
[screams]
405
00:16:38,565 --> 00:16:40,833
Hiya!
406
00:16:40,867 --> 00:16:42,768
Waah!
407
00:16:42,802 --> 00:16:44,003
Hiya!
408
00:16:44,037 --> 00:16:45,504
Aah!
409
00:16:45,538 --> 00:16:47,439
[groans]
410
00:16:47,474 --> 00:16:50,576
¶ kill, kill, kill, kill,
die, die, die ¶
411
00:16:52,812 --> 00:16:54,446
Oh, ling-ling,
412
00:16:54,481 --> 00:16:55,914
You saved my ass.
413
00:16:55,949 --> 00:16:56,882
[speaking japanese]
414
00:16:59,853 --> 00:17:02,187
[roars]
415
00:17:02,222 --> 00:17:04,023
Foxxy: no!
416
00:17:08,695 --> 00:17:10,262
Foxxy: with ling-ling dead,
417
00:17:10,296 --> 00:17:12,197
I could only think
of one thing--
418
00:17:12,232 --> 00:17:14,333
Man, that ling-ling pelt
419
00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:16,669
Sure would make some
pimpin' seat covers!
420
00:17:16,703 --> 00:17:18,404
But there was no time
for that now.
421
00:17:18,438 --> 00:17:21,607
I had to put a stop
to the board of education.
422
00:17:23,176 --> 00:17:24,309
Huh?
423
00:17:24,344 --> 00:17:25,477
[gasps]
424
00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:28,781
[sobbing]
425
00:17:31,851 --> 00:17:33,318
Huh? Hmm?
426
00:17:33,353 --> 00:17:35,320
[grunting]
427
00:17:35,355 --> 00:17:36,689
Let's see.
428
00:17:36,723 --> 00:17:39,191
Where is this
secret weapon?
429
00:17:39,225 --> 00:17:40,492
Aha!
430
00:17:40,527 --> 00:17:42,494
The shipment is
on a cargo train
431
00:17:42,529 --> 00:17:45,164
Leaving cleveland
at 4:30 at a speed
of 50 miles per hour.
432
00:17:45,198 --> 00:17:47,666
It's headed
to cincinnati,
which is 70 miles away.
433
00:17:47,701 --> 00:17:49,802
What time will the train
reach cincinnati?
434
00:17:49,836 --> 00:17:51,470
"a," 5:15;
435
00:17:51,504 --> 00:17:52,971
"b," 5:25;
436
00:17:53,006 --> 00:17:55,307
"c"--
oh, I can't do this!
437
00:17:55,342 --> 00:17:56,575
[sobs]
438
00:17:56,609 --> 00:17:58,077
Ling-ling!
439
00:17:58,111 --> 00:17:59,044
[speaking japanese]
440
00:18:00,947 --> 00:18:03,482
Maybe you're right,
ling-ling.
441
00:18:03,516 --> 00:18:05,818
Maybe I can do this!
442
00:18:05,852 --> 00:18:07,653
Hmm, let's see.
443
00:18:07,687 --> 00:18:09,655
I'm gonna get 38 miles,
carry the 2,
444
00:18:09,689 --> 00:18:12,324
Take away the minus,
add a semicolon,
445
00:18:12,359 --> 00:18:14,159
Put that dot
on the left side.
446
00:18:14,194 --> 00:18:16,328
Um...Uh...
447
00:18:16,363 --> 00:18:18,664
The answer is "d"!
448
00:18:18,698 --> 00:18:20,332
"d," right!
It's "d"!
449
00:18:20,367 --> 00:18:22,501
5:20. I knew
I could do it.
450
00:18:22,535 --> 00:18:23,469
[speaking japanese]
451
00:18:28,008 --> 00:18:29,208
Wait!
452
00:18:29,242 --> 00:18:30,876
Mr. King! Look!
453
00:18:30,910 --> 00:18:33,479
Marriage isn't
about having sex.
454
00:18:33,513 --> 00:18:35,547
Uh, ask any
married person.
455
00:18:35,582 --> 00:18:37,383
Hoo-hoo,
that's so true.
456
00:18:37,417 --> 00:18:39,318
It's about
caring and sharing
457
00:18:39,352 --> 00:18:41,153
And being there
for each other.
458
00:18:41,187 --> 00:18:42,654
Now, xandir and I
459
00:18:42,689 --> 00:18:44,823
May never have
had gay sex,
460
00:18:44,858 --> 00:18:47,826
But we didn't do those
other things, either.
461
00:18:47,861 --> 00:18:49,995
So, punishing me
would be like
462
00:18:50,030 --> 00:18:52,331
Punishing every
married person
463
00:18:52,365 --> 00:18:54,533
Who never
didn't do anything.
464
00:18:56,169 --> 00:18:58,303
Spanky ham...
465
00:18:58,338 --> 00:19:00,139
Your convoluted logic
466
00:19:00,173 --> 00:19:01,974
Has swayed me.
467
00:19:02,008 --> 00:19:03,976
I hereby issue you
468
00:19:04,010 --> 00:19:05,878
Health insurance coverage
469
00:19:05,912 --> 00:19:10,716
Permanently and
ir-r-r-r-r-r-revocably.
470
00:19:10,750 --> 00:19:13,052
Oh, you did it,
my darling husband!
471
00:19:13,086 --> 00:19:15,054
I got health
insurance forever!
472
00:19:15,088 --> 00:19:16,388
Oh, hey!
473
00:19:16,423 --> 00:19:18,390
Let's go tell dumpy
the waste man!
474
00:19:18,425 --> 00:19:20,459
Spanky: hey, dumpy!
Guess what!
475
00:19:20,493 --> 00:19:21,860
Dumpy: kill me!
476
00:19:23,263 --> 00:19:25,064
Foxxy: now, foxxy
might not be great
477
00:19:25,098 --> 00:19:26,732
With numbers or words
or stuff,
478
00:19:26,766 --> 00:19:29,335
But she great
at pullin' trains over.
479
00:19:31,171 --> 00:19:34,039
Wow, foxxy, you caught
the board of education.
480
00:19:34,074 --> 00:19:36,642
We've been trying
to nail him for months.
481
00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:38,477
Heh heh!
How'd you do it?
482
00:19:38,511 --> 00:19:40,713
I had help
from a friend--
483
00:19:40,747 --> 00:19:43,315
A dead friend.
484
00:19:43,350 --> 00:19:46,385
And now to uncover
the board of education's
485
00:19:46,419 --> 00:19:48,220
Ultimate racist weapon.
486
00:19:50,090 --> 00:19:51,790
What the hell is this?
487
00:19:51,825 --> 00:19:55,594
We invented a menthol,
grape-flavored,
number 2 pencil.
488
00:19:55,628 --> 00:19:57,329
Black test-takers
wouldn't be able
489
00:19:57,364 --> 00:19:59,331
To resist eating
their writing utensils,
490
00:19:59,366 --> 00:20:02,735
So they'll never
finish the exam.
491
00:20:02,769 --> 00:20:05,237
Damn. Just when
you thought racism
492
00:20:05,271 --> 00:20:07,139
Couldn't get
anymore racismer...
493
00:20:07,173 --> 00:20:09,975
You really think
black people won't be
able to stop themselves
494
00:20:10,010 --> 00:20:12,478
From eating these
grape-flavored
mentholated pencils?
495
00:20:12,512 --> 00:20:15,147
[sniffs] actually,
they do smell kinda nice.
496
00:20:15,181 --> 00:20:18,784
Maybe if I just have
a little nibble...
497
00:20:18,818 --> 00:20:20,486
Congratulations, foxxy.
498
00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:24,156
We're giving you
an honorary
mystery-solving badge.
499
00:20:24,190 --> 00:20:26,158
[muffled]
mystery-solving badge?
500
00:20:26,192 --> 00:20:29,328
If you gots a badge that
can solve mysteries,
501
00:20:29,362 --> 00:20:31,463
What you need
foxxy for?
502
00:20:33,867 --> 00:20:35,434
[policemen grunting]
503
00:20:36,836 --> 00:20:38,737
[spanky and xandir laughing]
504
00:20:38,772 --> 00:20:41,306
Both: ¶ la la la
la la la la... ¶
505
00:20:41,341 --> 00:20:43,976
Seeing spanky treat xandir
with newfound respect
506
00:20:44,010 --> 00:20:45,310
Made me realize...
507
00:20:45,345 --> 00:20:47,813
2 men can be as close
as a man and a woman.
508
00:20:47,847 --> 00:20:50,149
And maybe, just maybe,
509
00:20:50,183 --> 00:20:52,818
One little gay marriage
won't ruin the world.
510
00:20:52,852 --> 00:20:54,319
[roars]
511
00:20:54,354 --> 00:20:56,555
[screaming]
512
00:20:56,589 --> 00:20:58,490
[gunshots and screaming]
513
00:20:58,525 --> 00:21:01,527
Captioned by the national
captioning institute
--www.Ncicap.Org--
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