Original subtitles

Noah: THIS IS SERIOUS, REX.

I'M TALKING LIFE-AND-DEATH STUFF

HERE.

Rex: YOU'RE TALKING TABLE

TENNIS, NOAH.

Noah: OH, NOT JUST ANY TABLE

TENNIS, REX-- CHAMPIONSHIP

TABLE TENNIS.

WE COULD WIN THE GOLDEN PADDLE.

BUT MY LAST THREE PARTNERS HAVE

BEEN INJURED IN MATCHES AGAINST

EAST SIDE HIGH'S STAR PLAYER.

Rex: WHAT DID THEY DO?

SPRAIN THEIR PINKIES?

Noah: THEIR PINKIES WERE THE

ONLY THINGS THAT DIDN'T GET

HURT.

Rex: OKAY, NOW I'M

INTERESTED.

Noah: AWESOME!

TWO THINGS, REX-- FIRST, IF YOU

DECIDE TO PLAY, YOU'VE GOT TO

ENROLL IN SCHOOL.

[ GRUNTING, BALL BOUNCING ]

AND SECOND, IN ORDER TO WIN THE

STATE CHAMPIONSHIP, WE'RE GONNA

HAVE TO BEAT...THEM.

[ BOTH PANTING ]

Both: WHO'S NEXT?!

Rex: HUH?

OH, I AM SO IN.

Noah: YEAH!

♪ SO MAKE WAY TO START THE

REVOLUTION ♪

♪ MAKE WAY

♪ WE'RE GONNA HAVE FUN TONIGHT

♪ MAKE WAY TO START THE

REVOLUTION ♪

♪ SO MAKE WAY

♪ SO MAKE WAY TO START THE

REVOLUTION ♪

♪ MAKE WAY TO START THE

REVOLUTION ♪

♪ SO MAKE WAY

Noah: OKAY, HERE'S YOUR

STORY.

YOU'RE A TRANSFER STUDENT FROM

ALBUQUERQUE...

Rex: THANKS, I--

Noah: ...WHERE YOU WERE

CAPTAIN OF THE STATE-CHAMPION

TABLE-TENNIS TEAM.

I GOT YOU IN ALL THE EASY

CLASSES EXCEPT FOR ONE.

THE ONLY MATH CLASS OPEN WAS

TRIG, WHICH COULD BE A PROBLEM.

Rex: ACTUALLY, I--

Noah: YOU'VE GOT TO KEEP A

PASSING AVERAGE TO PLAY, SO JUST

ATTEND ALL YOUR CLASSES AND PRAY

THAT THERE'S NO POP QUIZZES FOR

THE WEEK YOU'RE GONNA BE HERE.

YOU GOT ALL THAT?

GREAT. HERE WE ARE.

READY FOR SOME PRACTICE?

PUT YOUR HANDS IN YOUR POCKETS,

KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN, AND WALK

FAST.

Rex: WHAT'S THE SHIRT FOR?

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

[ WOMEN SCREAMING ]

WHOA!

Noah: YEAH.

PEOPLE AROUND HERE TAKE THIS

GAME PRETTY SERIOUSLY.

Rex: I DON'T GET THIS MUCH

RESPECT WHEN I SAVE THE WORLD.

Noah: WHAT CAN I SAY, MAN?

IT'S TABLE-TENNIS SEASON.

IT'S A PLEASURE TO HAVE YOU

ON BOARD, SON.

HEARD GREAT THINGS ABOUT YOU.

I, UH, DO HAVE SOME QUESTIONS

ABOUT YOUR TRANSCRIPTS, THOUGH.

Noah: PRINCIPAL ROTHBERGER.

I, UH, TRIED CALLING THIS

PRINCIPAL HAHA FROM YOUR

PREVIOUS SCHOOL.

Noah: HE'S REALLY GOOD AT THE

GAME, SIR.

REALLY?

GOOD ENOUGH TO STAND UP TO OUR

PROBLEM AT EAST SIDE?

WRISTS LOOK A LITTLE SKINNY.

YOU GOT TO HAVE POWERFUL WRISTS

TO GET A GOOD BACKSPIN.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

Rex: 7,500 HORSES POWERFUL

ENOUGH FOR YOU?

WELL, EVERYTHING SEEMS TO BE

IN ORDER, SON.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

Noah: IT'S JUST LIKE REGULAR

TENNIS.

YOU WORK WITH YOUR PARTNER, SET

UP THE SHOT, THEN...

OR YOU COULD JUST DO THAT.

[ SMOOCHING ]

[ SPLASH, SQUISHING ]

ANYTHING FOR OUR CHAMPIONS.

Rex: I CAN GET USED TO THIS.

Noah: [ GASPS ]

OF COURSE, IF YOU DON'T WIN

THE CHAMPIONSHIP, YOU'RE A DEAD

MAN.

Noah: NO PRESSURE OR

ANYTHING.

THAT'S MR. BUCHINER'S TRIG

CLASS.

THE GUY'S LOVE FOR TRIANGLES IS

A LITTLE UNNATURAL.

[ GASPS ]

MR. NIXON.

SO, THIS IS THE NEW TABLE-TENNIS

WHIZ.

WELL, TRIGONOMETRY MAY NOT GET

YOU THE LADIES THE WAY THAT

SO-CALLED SPORT DOES, BUT

CONSIDER THIS-- WITHOUT

TRIGONOMETRY, THERE WOULD BE NO

TABLE TENNIS.

Rex: OKAY. SURE.

NICE SUIT, BY THE WAY.

IS HE THE SIXTH-DEADLIEST

TEACHER ON THE PLANET OR

SOMETHING?

Noah: THERE ARE SOME PRETTY

GOOD PLAYERS AT THE OTHER

SCHOOLS-- ALMOST AS GOOD AS ME.

[ GRUNTS ]

IT WON'T BE FAIR TO USE YOUR EVO

POWERS ON NORMAL KIDS.

Rex: BUT WHEN WE GO UP

AGAINST THE TWINS...

HYAH!

GAME OVER.

[ SIZZLING ]

Noah: WOW.

AAH. [ GASPS ]

Rex: HEY!

[ PANTING ]

Rex: DROP THE WEAPON!

IT'S NOT A WEAPON!

[ WHIRRING ]

IT'S A CAMERA.

[ WHIRRING ]

WHO ARE YOU WORKING FOR?

EAST SIDE HIGH.

PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!

Rex: YOU'RE A SPY?!

FOR TABLE TENNIS?!

PLEASE DON'T BREAK IT!

THAT'S MY DAD'S CAMERA!

Rex: GET OUT OF HERE!

WE'VE GOT NOTHING TO HIDE.

Noah: SEE YOU AT THE MATCH

SATURDAY.

BRING YOUR CAMERA.

LOOKS LIKE YOU MIGHT HAVE

SOME ACTUAL COMPETITION, BOYS.

[ BOTH GROWL ]

[ PANTING ]

[ BELL RINGS ]

[ PANTING ]

Rex: SCHOOL'S ACTUALLY A

PRETTY COOL DEAL.

HOME EC ROCKS!

I GOT A C-PLUS ON MY CAKE.

Noah: UH, THAT'S...GREAT.

Rex: I GET TO HANG AROUND

OTHER KIDS, I'M LEARNING ALL

SORTS OF INTERESTING THINGS, AND

THERE'S NO EVO MONSTERS TRYING

TO POUND MY FACE INTO THE

GROUND.

Noah: GLAD YOU'RE HAVING SUCH

A GOOD TIME, BECAUSE YOUR NEXT

CLASS IS NO PIECE OF CAKE.

HATE TO LEAVE YOU TO THE WOLVES,

BUDDY, BUT I'M PRECALCULOUS.

THE EXCITEMENT OF TRIG WAS LAST

SEMESTER FOR ME.

Rex: NO PROBLEMA.

I PERFECTED THE ART OF

PRETENDING TO BE AWAKE DURING

ALL THOSE BORING PROVIDENCE

BRIEFINGS.

Noah: JUST HOPE BUCHINER

DOESN'T SPRING A...

[ SCREECH! ]

[ SCREAMING ]

POP QUIZ?!

WHAT?!

WHAT THE DEVIL IS BUCHINER

THINKING?!

THIS COULD BE A TABLE-TENNIS

KILLER!

Noah: WE ARE SO HOSED.

ANY WORD?

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THE

DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A COTANGENT

AND A COSECANT?

MY BRAIN HURTS.

Noah: WE ARE SO TOTALLY

HOSED.

Rex: HEY, NOAH.

WHOA. WHAT'S GOING ON?

Noah: THE QUIZ?

Rex: OH, YOU KNOW, IT'S JUST

TRIG.

Noah: JUST TRIG?

HOW DID HE DO?

IT SEEMS IN ADDITION TO TABLE

TENNIS, WE HAVE A TRIGONOMETRY

PRODIGY IN OUR MIDST.

98%.

[ ALL CHEERING ]

Noah: YOU? HOW?

DID YOUR NANITES HELP YOU?

Rex: IT'S JUST TRAJECTORIES

AND HORIZON LINES, LIKE AIMING

MY SLAM CANNON.

Noah: ALL THAT MATTERS IS YOU

PASSED.

YOU'RE STILL ON THE TEAM!

IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY AND ONE

WE'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR, AS

THE STATE CHAMPIONSHIP

TABLE-TENNIS TOURNAMENT GETS

UNDER WAY.

WE'LL BE COVERING EVERY BALL

BOUNCE AND PADDLE SMACK OF THIS

EXCITING EVENT, SO GET READY FOR

SOME ACTION.

[ CROWD CHEERING ]

Rex: ALL THIS FOR TABLE

TENNIS?

Noah: I KNOW. ISN'T IT GREAT?

THIS IS AN ELIMINATION

TOURNAMENT, TWO TABLES AT A

TIME, WINNERS MOVE UP IN THE

RANKS TO THE FINAL SHOWDOWN.

Rex: YOU MAKE IT SOUND LIKE

THE WILD WEST.

Noah: I THINK YOU'RE FINALLY

GETTING IT.

HEY, FOUND A NEW PARTNER?

YOU'RE NEXT.

DON'T MIND THE BOYS.

THEY'RE JUST A LITTLE

ENTHUSIASTIC.

MAY THE BEST...TEAM WIN.

Noah: THOSE GUYS SHOULD GET A

TROPHY FOR GOOD SPORTSMANSHIP.

Rex: NOTHING I LOVE MORE THAN

PUTTING A BEATDOWN ON A BULLY.

THIS IS GOING TO BE FUN.

Noah: DUDE, SAVE IT FOR THE

FINAL.

[ BEEP ]

Rex: HUH?

THIS ISN'T ME.

SOMETHING'S MESSING WITH MY

NANITES.

Noah: REX, YOUR HAND.

Rex: DUH, MY HAND.

Noah: NO, YOUR OTHER HAND.

Rex: YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING

ME.

THAT SLEAZEBALL COACH JUST TRIED

TO JUICE ME.

NICE TRY, BUDDY!

WE'LL DEAL WITH HIM LATER.

LET'S JUST FOCUS ON WINNING.

[ WHISTLE BLOWS ]

[ CROWD CHEERING ]

[ BOTH GROWL ]

[ WHISTLE BLOWS ]

AAH!

[ GROWLS ]

[ CROWD CHEERING ]

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

BACKHAND! BACKHAND!

YOU'RE BEING TOO EASY ON THEM!

GO FOR THE KILL!

[ CROWD GROANS ]

[ CROWD CHEERING ]

Rex: YEAH!

UMPIRE, ARE YOU BLIND?!

BEN FRANKLIN FOULED!

MATCH TO THE C-NOTES.

[ WHISTLE BLOWS ]

[ CROWD CHEERING ]

FINAL MATCH-- EAST SIDE EVOS

VERSUS BENJAMIN FRANKLIN

C-NOTES.

YOU'LL NEVER BEAT THOSE GUYS

PLAYING LIKE THAT.

GABRIEL, YOU MISSED THAT DROP

SHOT.

MICHAEL, WHY DIDN'T YOU USE A

LOOP KILL AFTER THE SECOND

SERVICE?

YOU BOYS GOING EVO WAS THE

GREATEST GIFT TO TABLE TENNIS

I'VE EVER SEEN.

I HATE WATCHING YOU WASTE IT.

WE DIDN'T ASK FOR IT.

GABE.

WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?

IT-- IT WOULD JUST BE NICE

TO DO NORMAL THINGS, YOU KNOW,

AND HAVE FRIENDS.

FRIENDS?

TABLE TENNIS IS WHAT YOU DO, AND

YOU DO IT BETTER THAN ANYONE

ELSE.

WHEN YOU'RE A CHAMPION, NOTHING

ELSE MATTERS.

YES, DAD.

WHEN YOU INSPIRE FEAR AND

RESPECT, YOU DON'T NEED FRIENDS.

I PROMISE I'LL DO MY BEST.

ME TOO, DAD.

YOU BETTER, BOYS.

NOW GO OUT THERE AND BE A

CHAMPION...OR CHAMPIONS OR

WHATEVER THE HECK YOU ARE.

[ BOTH GROWL ]

Noah: IF YOU'RE TRYING TO

PSYCHE ME OUT WITH YOUR CREEPY

DOUBLE STINK EYE, YOU'RE WASTING

YOUR TIME.

[ CRACKING ]

OKAY, NOW, THAT CREEPS ME OUT.

[ WHISTLE BLOWS ]

POINT!

OUR POINT, LOSER.

Noah: OH, IT IS SO ON!

[ CROWD CHEERING ]

[ CROWD BOOS ]

[ WHISTLE BLOWS ]

[ CROWD BOOS ]

[ WHISTLE BLOWS ]

[ CROWD BOOS ]

Noah: [ GROANS ]

Rex: [ GROANS ]

[ WHISTLE BLOWS ]

AW, DID YOU BREAK YOUR

PADDLE?

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

HOPE YOU BROUGHT A SPARE.

Rex: AS A MATTER OF FACT, I

DID.

AAH! YOUR SERVE!

[ CROWD CHEERING ]

HEY, THAT'S NOT REGULATION.

Noah: I THINK WE THREW OUT

THE RULEBOOK A WHILE AGO.

I'LL ALLOW IT. PLAY BALL.

[ CROWD CHEERING ]

[ GROWLS ]

[ CROWD CHEERING ]

TIME TO TAKE HOME THE GOLD.

[ BEEPING ]

[ BOTH STRAINING ]

[ BOTH GROWL ]

Rex: WHOA.

Noah: DOUBLE WHOA.

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

SERVE THE BALL!

[ GROWLS ]

[ BOTH GROWL ]

POINT TO EAST SIDE HIGH.

MATCH POINT!

[ BOTH GROWL ]

[ ALL GASP ]

Rex: GUYS, LOOK WHAT'S

HAPPENING TO YOU.

YOU'VE BEEN JUICED.

I FEEL GREAT!

[ BOTH GROWL ]

Noah: [ GRUNTS ]

Rex: [ GROWLS ]

[ CROWD CHEERING ]

POINT TO THE C-NOTES.

[ CROWD CHEERING ]

YOU BOYS ARE WORTHLESS!

WHAT'S IT GONNA TAKE, BOYS?

[ GROWLS ]

[ BOTH GROWL ]

Noah: UH, REX?

Rex: GUYS, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE

GOING THROUGH.

JUST LET ME--

[ BOTH GROWL ]

[ GROWLS ]

FOUL-- MULTIPLE BALLS IN

PLAY.

[ GROWLS ]

[ GRUNTS ]

[ BOTH GROWL ]

Rex: THAT'S ENOUGH!

YOU'RE GONNA HURT SOMEONE.

[ GROWLS ]

GOOD IDEA.

Both: YOU FIRST.

Rex: [ SCREAMS ]

DON'T JUST STAND THERE.

GO AFTER THE SHOT.

[ BOTH GROWL ]

Rex: HEY!

Noah: YOU SERIOUSLY NEED TO

WORK ON YOUR PARENTING SKILLS.

HEY, CHAMP, THIS BETTER END

IN A WIN.

[ BOTH GROWL ]

Rex: WE'RE NOT PLAYING TABLE

TENNIS ANYMORE, ARE WE?

[ BOTH GROWLING ]

[ SIGHS ] IMBECILES.

I WISH THE EARTH WOULD OPEN AND

SWALLOW THEIR SUBSTANDARD TESTS.

I SHOULD HAVE WISHED FOR A PONY.

AAH!

REX, THETA EQUALS THE ARC

TANGENT OF "B" SQUARED PLUS OR

MINUS THE SQUARE ROOT OF "B" TO

THE 4th MINUS "G" TIMES GX

SQUARED PLUS YV SQUARED OVER

"G"!

Rex: GOT IT!

IN OTHER WORDS, STOMP THEN

SMACK.

GOOD THINKING, MR. B.

WELL, JUST BECAUSE I DON'T

LIKE TABLE TENNIS DOESN'T MEAN

I'M A JERK.

[ SCREAMS ]

Rex: YOU NEED TO CHILL OUT!

HUH?

SO, WHERE IS YOUR HOTSHOT

TEAMMATE?

WHERE'S OUR TROPHY?

WHERE'S--

[ ALL GASP ]

[ ALL GASP ]

[ THUD, CRACKING ]

Noah: LOOK OUT!

AAH!

WIN OR LOSE, DUDE, WE'RE COOL!

WE'RE COOL!

I HAVE NO IDEA WHO WON.

[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]

SMACK HIM!

YOU CALL THAT FIGHTING?!

Noah: DUDE, A LITTLE

PERSPECTIVE HERE.

[ BOTH GROWL ]

[ GASPS ]

YOU!

[ GASPS ]

ALL BECAUSE OF YOU!

Rex: ENOUGH!

[ BOTH SCREAM ]

Rex: WISH I COULD CURE YOU

ALL THE WAY, BUT THAT'S ALL I'VE

GOT.

IT'S OKAY.

I DON'T THINK YOU ENTIRELY KNEW

WHAT YOU WERE DOING.

BUT YOU.

WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?

JUST TRYING TO DO WHAT'S BEST

FOR MY SON...SONS...WHATEVER.

Noah: DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT

THEY WANT?

WHAT A STUPID QUESTION.

THEY WANT TO BE CHAMPIONS.

RIGHT, BOYS?

ACTUALLY, DAD-- I-I MEAN,

COACH...

WE'VE ALWAYS HATED TABLE

TENNIS.

WHAT WE REALLY WANT TO PLAY...

IS PIANO.

PIANO?

WE'RE NOT KIDDING.

YOU'RE NOT KIDDING?

MM.

YOU KNOW, THEY HAVE COMPETITIONS

FOR THAT.

WE'RE GONNA GET YOU THE BEST

TEACHERS THERE ARE, AND YOU'RE

GONNA WIN GOLD RECORDS AND MAKE

ME PROUD.

YOUNG MAN, AFTER WITNESSING

THE DESTRUCTION YOU CAUSED...

Rex: I CAUSED?!

...I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO

DISQUALIFY YOU FROM THE

TOURNAMENT.

AND EXPEL YOU FROM THIS HIGH

SCHOOL FOREVER.

AND I'M GONNA HAVE A WORD WITH

THAT PRINCIPAL HAHA.

Noah: [ GASPS ] OH, MAN.

NO GOLDEN PADDLE?

I ALREADY CLEARED A SPOT IN THE

TROPHY CASE.

Rex: IT WAS PRETTY NICE.

I WAS IN SCHOOL FOR A WEEK, AND

I WAS LIKE A REGULAR KID.

I EVEN TOOK A POP QUIZ, AND I

GOT AN "A."

Dr. Holiday: [ SLURPS ]

I'M GLAD, REX, BECAUSE THAT'S

GOT ME THINKING.

I'VE BEEN TOO LENIENT IN YOUR

ACADEMIC EDUCATION.

Rex: OH, NO. WAIT A MINUTE.

Dr. Holiday: STARTING TODAY,

MORE REGULAR LESSONS-- SCIENCE,

HISTORY, SPANISH.

Rex: SPANISH?!

Dr. Holiday: OH, YES.

AND I SAW THAT TRIG QUIZ. 98%?

DO YOU KNOW HOW THAT REFLECTS ON

ME?

I KNOW THAT YOU CAN DO BETTER,

AND YOU WILL.

Rex: [ GROANS ]

I WONDER IF BUCHINER WILL TAKE

ME BACK.