Original subtitles

Noah: NOT ONLY IS THIS A BAD

IDEA, REX, IT'S JUST STUPID.

NO, NO.

NOT JUST STUPID-- OUTSTANDINGLY

STUPID.

Rex: TRUST ME, NOAH--

IT'S PRIMAL.

SCARE CLAIRE, AND SHE'LL GRAB

THE NEAREST GUY FOR PROTECTION,

AND THAT WOULD BE YOU.

Noah: AND THAT WOULD BE

CLAIRE AND ANNIE.

THIS HAD BETTER WORK.

Rex: I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING.

ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO SEE

THIS MOVIE?

I HEAR IT'S REALLY SCARY.

SO IS A JAR OF KILLER BEES

WHEN IT'S KNOCKED OFF A SHELF IN

BIOLOGY CLASS.

Rex: UH...YEAH.

HE IS ABSOLUTELY POSITIVE.

[ WOMAN GASPING ]

[ SQUISH! ]

EW!

THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED TO

SOMEONE I KNOW.

[ WOMAN GASPING ]

[ CREATURE GROWLS ]

Rex: WAIT FOR IT.

[ WOMAN MOANS ]

[ WOMAN SCREAMS ]

[ BOTH GASP ]

Noah: STILL WAITING.

[ WARBLING ]

Rex: HEY, CAESAR!

[ WARBLING SLOWS, STOPS ]

HELLO, LITTLE BROTHER.

Rex: WHOA.

SO IS THAT SOME SORT OF NANITE

THING?

[ WHIRS ]

MANGO SMOOTHIE.

BUT TH IS MY

HYPER-ELECTROMAGNET THAT CAN

DISASSEMBLE A TANK FROM A

KILOMETER AWAY.

MMM.

AND EVIDENTLY CAN ALSO MAKE

DELICIOUSLY CREAMY SMOOTHIES.

Rex: NICE.

BUT WHAT I REALLY NEED TO DO IS

SCARE A GIRL INTO MY BEST

FRIEND'S ARMS.

OH?

Rex: NOAH AND I TOOK A COUPLE

OF LADIES TO A HORROR MOVIE.

AH!

TO ENGAGE THEIR PALEOMAMMALIAN

BRAIN SO THE FEAR RESPONSE WOULD

BE TO CLING TO NEAREST MALE.

DID IT WORK?

Rex: YEAH, BUT THEY BOTH

CLUNG TO ME.

I BELIEVE THE WORD IS

"SCORE."

Rex: YEAH...

EXCEPT NOAH PRETTY MUCH HATES ME

NOW.

HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE HERO.

[ SLURPS ]

Rex: SO I NEED TO STEP IT UP,

AND IT NEEDS TO BE FOOLPROOF.

I'M THINKING...

A HAUNTED HOUSE.

YES!

Rex: HUH?

A TWIN CHALLENGE.

CREATE A PARANORMAL PARADIGM

WITH TECHNOLOGY IN ORDER TO

EVOKE A PASSIONATE RESPONSE!

THAT IS INTERESTING!

THE BIOCHEMISTRY OF ROMANCE IS

SIMPLE.

THE NEUROTRANSMITTER CHEMICAL,

PHENYLETHYLAMINE, IS EXCRETED BY

THE HYPOTHALAMUS.

Rex: I WAS THINKING LESS

EXCRETING, MORE FOG MACHINE AND

LIGHTS.

OH, THIS WILL BE WAY BETTER.

TRUST ME.

Rex: [ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY ]

COOL.

♪ SO MAKE WAY TO START THE

REVOLUTION ♪

♪ MAKE WAY

♪ WE'RE GONNA HAVE FUN TONIGHT

♪ MAKE WAY TO START THE

REVOLUTION ♪

♪ SO MAKE WAY

♪ SO MAKE WAY TO START THE

REVOLUTION ♪

♪ MAKE WAY TO START THE

REVOLUTION ♪

♪ SO MAKE WAY

Noah: A GHOST HUNT?!

EPIC FAIL, DUDE.

Rex: THIS IS BETTER THAN A

MOVIE!

CLAIRE WILL BE CLINGING TO YOU

BEFORE SHE'S EVEN INSIDE.

Noah: CLINGING?

DOUBTFUL.

THE GIRLS WILL PROBABLY FREAK AT

THE SHEER LAMENESS OF THIS

STUFF!

[ GASPS ]

ARE THOSE EMF DETECTORS?

HEY, GUYS.

AND A THERMAL CAMERA? AWESOME!

I KNEW IF WE WERE MEETING AT

THE WRIGHTSON HOTEL, IT HAD TO

BE ABOUT THE HAUNTING.

Rex: IT WAS NOAH'S IDEA.

REALLY?

EXTRA POINTS TO YOU.

Noah: UH, YEAH.

I'M...FASCINATED WITH THE...

MYSTERIES OF THE PARANORMAL.

BUT YOU DON'T BELIEVE ANY OF

THAT, RIGHT?

Noah: U-UM...

NO?

AT BEST, THESE DETECTORS WILL

PICK UP THE ELECTROMAGNETIC

DISTORTIONS CAUSED BY THE

BUILDING'S WIRING.

SUPPOSEDLY, EVEN WEAK EMF CAN

CREATE FEELINGS OF UNEASE AND

PARANOIA IN THE BRAIN,

ALTHOUGH IT'S NEVER BEEN

DUPLICATED OUTSIDE A LABORATORY

SETTING.

DOES THIS WORK?

Rex: UH...

GHOSTS MAKE THE NEEDLE WIGGLE?

[ CHUCKLES ] RIGHT.

OKAY, LET'S GO.

Noah: GEE, LOOK AT ME--

100% CLING-FREE.

Rex: IT'S GOING TO WORK OUT.

TRUST ME. I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING.

Noah: I HEARD THAT BEFORE!

Rex: ALL CLEAR.

[ DOOR CREAKS ]

UGH!

SO, I DON'T SEE ANY BANDAGES.

THINGS MUST BE GOOD WITH YOU.

YEP. NO MORE BAD LUCK.

I HAVEN'T BROKEN A BONE THIS

YEAR.

AT LEAST, NOT ONE OF MY OWN.

Noah: WOW.

DIDN'T EXPECT FURNITURE.

Rex: THAT'S BECAUSE NO MOVING

CREW WOULD STAY.

I READ...

THAT THEY JUST RAN,

COMPLETELY TERRIFIED?

Rex: UH...

SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

AND THEY WOULD NEVER SPEAK OF

WHAT THEY SAW-- EVER.

SUPPOSEDLY, THE GHOST OF

WRIGHTSON STILL ROAMS THE HOTEL,

HIS INVISIBLE HANDS OPENING AND

CLOSING DOORS, CHECKING ON

GUESTS.

PARANORMAL ACTIVITY INCREASED

AFTER THE NANITE EVENT.

OF COURSE, EVERYTHING WAS FREAKY

AFTER THAT, SO EVEN A HINT OF

WEIRDNESS SCARED PEOPLE AWAY.

AND THAT'S WHY THEY CLOSED DOWN

THE HOTEL AND LEFT IT...

[ Spooky voice ] TO THE SPIRITS.

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

Noah: OH, YEAH.

THIS IS GONNA WORK.

Rex: WHOA.

[ Chuckling ] THERE'S A GUY IN

NEED OF A PARTY.

THAT'S WRIGHTSON HIMSELF.

Noah: YOU SURE KNOW A LOT

ABOUT THIS GUY.

HIS NAME IS UNDER THE

PAINTING.

THAT BLACK CAT IS AN ICON OF

SUPERSTITION AND THE OCCULT,

WHICH TRIGGERS SUBCONSCIOUS

CONNECTIONS.

IT'S BASIC PSYCHOLOGY.

AND THIS IS REAL SCIENCE.

Noah: A MARBLE?

JUST A SIMPLE TEST.

THE FLOOR ISN'T LEVEL.

AND A TILTED HOTEL EXPLAINS

THOSE DOORS OPENING AND CLOSING

BY THEMSELVES.

HUMAN NATURE CAN'T BE

DECONSTRUCTED INTO THEOREMS AND

FORMULAS, MISS TEST TUBE.

SCIENCE REQUIRES PROVABLE

EVIDENCE.

EVERYTHING ELSE IS GUESSWORK.

WELL, GUESS WHAT I'M THINKING

RIGHT NOW.

Noah: IF WE LEAVE NOW, WE CAN

STILL HAVE A DECENT DATE AT THE

SNACK SHACK.

Rex: I SPENT ALL AFTERNOON

SETTING THIS PLACE UP TO MAKE

YOU LOOK LIKE A HERO.

JUST GIVE IT A CHANCE.

Noah: SETTING UP? GREAT.

PASSING POTENTIAL EMBARRASSMENT

AND PROCEEDING DIRECTLY TO UTTER

HUMILIATION.

Rex: TIME TO TURN ON THE

TUNES.

[ RUMBLING ]

[ CLANKING ]

[ JINGLING ]

[ SIGHS ]

THANKS, REX.

KIND OF HANDY HAVING A HERO

AROUND.

Rex: [ SIGHS ]

Noah: NICE WORK BACK THERE.

HOW WAS THE CLINGING?

Rex: WELL, WHAT WAS I

SUPPOSED TO DO?

JUST GET CLAIRE TO USE THE

THERMAL CAMERA NEAR THE

FOUNTAIN, AND YOU'LL BE--

WHOA!

CHECK OUT THE CLAW MARKS.

LOOKS LIKE THE WORK OF A

CHISEL-POINT PICKAX.

L-LONG STORY.

BUT HE'S FINE NOW.

Rex: GOOD TO KNOW.

OKAY, I SAY WE SPLIT INTO

TEAMS TO COVER MORE GROUND.

AS LONG AS YOU'RE NOT AFRAID.

[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

Noah: YEAH.

THOSE TWO ARE ABSOLUTELY

TERRIFIED.

CLAW MARKS? REALLY?

Rex: BUT...

I DIDN'T MAKE THESE.

[ BEEPING ]

Noah: I'M GETTING STRONG EMF

READINGS IN THIS DIRECTION.

WHOA! IT'S GOING NUTS!

PROBABLY PICKING UP THE PIPES

FROM THE FOUNTAIN.

[ SHIVERS ]

DO YOU FEEL COLD?

Noah: AREN'T GHOSTS SUPPOSED

TO BE COLD?

[ CHUCKLES ] VERY FUNNY.

THE WALLS OF THIS ATRIUM MUST

FUNNEL BREEZES TO THIS SPOT.

Noah: CAN A BREEZE DO THAT?

IT'S FROZEN SOLID.

TRY THE THERMAL CAMERA.

RIGHT.

THE COLD SPOTS ARE COMING FROM

THE FOUNTAIN.

WHAT?!

WEIRD.

MUST HAVE BEEN A VIDEO GLITCH.

Rex: WELL?

HOW DID THE COLD SPOT WORK?

Noah: WONDERFUL.

SHE MONITORED WIND DIRECTION

WHILE I FROZE.

Rex: OKAY, THEN GO TAKE EMF

READINGS BY THE SOFA.

TRUST ME. I--

WHATEVER. JUST GO.

[ BEEPING ]

Noah: GOSH, THE METER IS

GOING WILD.

SOMETHING'S GONNA HAPPEN.

NOTHIN IS GOING TO HAPPEN,

BECAUSE THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS

GHOSTS.

Rex: PERFECT.

[ BOTH SCREAM ]

Noah: WHOA!

[ GIRLS GASP ]

THAT WAS CRAZY.

HOW COULD THAT HAPPEN?

IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.

DO YOU THINK IT HEARD WHAT I

SAID?

IT HEARD WHAT I SAID!

[ GIRLS SCREAM ]

[ GROWLS ]

Rex: [ GASPS ]

NOT POSSIBLE. NOT POSSIBLE!

Rex: BUT...I DIDN'T...

THIS PLACE IS HAUNTED!

Noah: WHATEVER IT WAS IS

GONE.

EXCUSE US FOR A SECOND.

THAT...WAS...AWESOME!

WHAT ELSE IS IN YOUR BAG OF

TRICKS?

Rex: NOAH, LISTEN TO ME.

THE HOWLING AND SHREDDING--

NOT ME.

Noah: MUST HAVE BEEN A POWER

SURGE.

MAYBE YOUR BROTHER'S MAGNET IS

MORE POWERFUL THAN YOU THOUGHT.

Rex: UH, MAYBE.

IT WA MADE TO DISASSEMBLE A

TANK.

AND PULP MANGOES.

THERE HAS TO BE A SCIENTIFIC

EXPLANATION FOR WHAT HAPPENED,

SO I SAY WE FIND IT.

[ CRASH ]

WHAT WAS THAT?

Noah: YOU THREE, STAY HERE.

I'LL CHECK IT OUT.

Rex: UH, I BETTER GO.

YOU STAY.

Noah: NO. I'LL GO.

Rex: NO! I WILL!

WE'RE ALL GOING.

NOBODY SPLITS UP.

NOT THAT IT'S A GHOST OR

ANYTHING.

RIGHT. [ CHUCKLES ]

BECAUSE THAT'S...RIDICULOUS.

[ DOORS CREAK ]

MAYBE THAT CRASH WAS A STRAY

CAT.

Noah: LET'S HOPE SO.

Rex: HERE, KITTY.

HERE, KITTY.

[ MEOWS ]

IT COULD BE A DOG.

Rex: HERE, DOGGY.

HERE, DOGGY.

OR A RACCOON.

[ GROWLS ]

RACCOONS DO THAT, RIGHT?

[ ALL PANTING ]

OKAY.

THAT WAS MORE THAN A COLD SPOT.

Rex: WE NEED TO GET OUT OF

HERE!

Noah: NO.

THIS IS TOO IMPORTANT.

WE HAVE TO DOCUMENT IT--

LIKE SCIENTISTS.

Rex: SOMETHING WEIRD IS

HAPPENING HERE-- SOMETHING

DANGEROUS.

Noah: FACING THE UNKNOWN IS

ALWAYS DANGEROUS, MY FRIEND.

Rex: NOAH! THIS IS REAL!

IT ISN'T ONE OF MY TRICKS!

Noah: IT ISN'T?

AND BY "TRICKS," YOU MEAN

WHAT, EXACTLY?

Rex: [ CHUCKLES ]

SO, YOU THOUGHT YOU'D HAVE

SOME FUN SCARING THE GIRLS.

Rex: NO. THAT WASN'T WHAT--

AND YOU WERE THE MASTERMIND,

USING THIS ELECTROMAGNET TO MOVE

THINGS AROUND.

Rex: I MOVED THE COUCH.

I DIDN'T SHRED IT.

PROBABLY A POWER SURGE.

Noah: THAT'S WHAT I SAID!

I THOUGHT YOU WERE DIFFERENT.

Noah: I'M DIFFERENT!

WAY DIFFERENT!

I WOULD NEVER BE, UH, THE

SAME, 'CAUSE...I'M DIFFERENT.

CLAIRE! LOOK AT THIS!

THIS IS MORE YOUR KIND OF

STUFF, BUT I'M IMPRESSED.

A MINI-CHILLER.

I READ ABOUT THESE IN SCIENCE

JOURNALS.

NEVER THOUGHT I'D HOLD ONE.

Rex: THAT'S MY BROTHER'S

DESIGN.

WE WEREN'T TALKING TO YOU.

Rex: WELL, I'M TALKING NOW.

THERE'S SOMETHING IN THIS HOTEL

THAT I DIDN'T FAKE.

WE NEED TO LEAVE BEFORE SOMEONE

IS HURT.

BECAUSE ANNIE AND I ARE SO

HELPLESS, RIGHT?

I SEEM TO REMEMBER KICKING SOME

EVO TAIL AT THE PROM.

YEAH!

OF COURSE, WE HAD A FULLY ARMED

BATTLE TANK THEN.

Noah: REX, THE PLAN'S A BUST.

GIVE IT UP.

[ GLASS SHATTERING ]

BUT IT'S NOT LIKE GETTING OUT

OF HERE IS A BAD IDEA.

Rex: RUN! NOW!

[ RUMBLING ]

[ ALL SCREAM ]

I'LL MAKE OUR OWN DOOR IF I HAVE

TO!

[ GRUNTS ]

[ PUNCH LANDS ]

AAH!

[ ALL GASP ]

[ PUNCH LANDS ]

[ PUNCHES LANDING ]

HUH?

AAH!

[ GROANS ]

Noah: REX, ARE YOU OKAY?

THAT WASN'T A TRICK.

THAT WAS A REAL GHOST.

Rex: IT'S NOT A GHOST.

IT'S AN EVO.

[ KNOB SQUEAKING ]

COME ON! COME ON!

WHERE'S THE WATER?!

[ GASPS ]

Rex: [ GROANS ]

[ COUGHS ]

SORRY. SORRY.

WEAK PIPES, I GUESS.

Rex: IT'S OKAY.

SO, HOW LONG WAS I--

Noah: SO, WHAT IS IT?

AN INVISIBLE EVO?

Rex: I KNOW IT SOUNDS WEIRD,

BUT I COULD SENSE SOME SORT OF

GROUP OF FLOATING NANITES, LIKE

A NANITE CLOUD OR SOMETHING.

Noah: CAN YOU STOP IT?

Rex: NOT IF I CAN'T TOUCH IT.

Noah: MAYBE YOU SHOULD CALL

PROVIDENCE FOR BACKUP.

Rex: I'M NOT GETTING MY

BROTHER IN TROUBLE.

WE DIDN'T EXACTLY GO THROUGH THE

PROPER CHANNELS TO...BORROW THIS

STUFF.

BESIDES, DEALING WITH EVOs IS MY

JOB.

THIS IS DOABLE.

SO THE NANITES ARE LIKE A

TERMITE COLONY-- LOTS OF

INDIVIDUALS THAT MAKE A SORT OF

HIVE MIND THAT CAN THINK WITHOUT

BEING SOLID.

Rex: [ GROANS ]

FELT SOLID ENOUGH WHEN IT WAS

SLAMMING ME AROUND.

THAT'S GOOD.

Rex: WHAT?!

THAT'S WHEN THE NANITES ARE

CLOSEST TOGETHER.

IF WE MAGNETIZE THEM, THEY MIGHT

CLUSTER ENOUGH FOR YOU TO MAKE

CONTACT.

Rex: CAN YOU GUYS RIG UP A

MAGNETIC FIELD THAT WILL DO

THAT?

DIDN'T EXACTLY COVER THAT IN

SOPHOMORE PHYSICS.

TRY STICKING YOUR BROTHER'S

MAGNET INTO THE CLOUD.

Rex: SIMPLE ENOUGH.

YEAH.

BUT WAIT UNTIL IT'S SLAMMING YOU

AROUND.

Rex: AT LEAST WE DON'T HAVE

TO WORRY ABOUT WRIGHTSON'S

GHOST ANYMORE.

Noah: UNLESS HE'S THE EVO.

Rex: GREAT-- GHOST EVOs.

BECAUSE I WAS GETTING BORED WITH

THE NORMAL STUFF.

[ GROWLS ]

Rex: GET DOWN!

[ PANTING ]

Rex: UHHHHHHH!

REALLY WASN'T THAT BORED!

Noah: WHOA!

NOAH!

Noah: I DID IT.

[ ROARS ]

Noah: MAYBE YOU SHOULD CALL

PROVIDENCE FOR BACKUP NOW.

Rex: ARE YOU KIDDING?

NOW I CAN TOUCH IT.

Rex: [ GRUNTS ]

[ GROWLS ]

Rex: DO I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION

NOW?

GOOD.

JUST HOLD STILL, AND I'LL GET

THOSE NANITES OUT OF YOU.

Noah: I THOUGHT YOU COULDN'T

CURE NONHUMANS.

Rex: GETTING BETTER.

LET'S HOPE I GET LUCKY.

HUH?!

GOOD TRICK.

HERE'S ONE OF MINE.

NOW, COME HERE, AND WE'LL SEE IF

I CAN CURE YOU!

THE MAGNET ISN'T STRONG

ENOUGH.

Noah: IS THERE A WAY TO FIX

THAT?

IT PROBABLY HAS A NEODYMIUM

ALLOY CORE, WHICH INCREASES IN

STRENGTH THE COLDER IT GETS!

WE NEED THE MINI-CHILLER.

Noah: THAT WAS COVERED IN

SOPHOMORE SCIENCE?

EXTRA-CREDIT PROJECT.

I GOT IT!

WHOOPS.

[ GROWLS ]

Noah: WHOA!

[ GROWLING ]

WHOA!

Noah: UNH! UGH!

HEY, REX!

WHEN YOU HAVE A SEC, WE'RE

STUCK!

[ SIGHS ]

[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]

Noah: CLAIRE? ARE YOU OKAY?

[ Shakily ] I'M GOOD.

NO PROBLEMS.

Noah: CLAIRE, BY ANY CHANCE,

ARE YOU, UM, CLAUSTROPHOBIC?

[ SIGHS ] A LITTLE BIT.

Rex: GET THE FREEZER THINGY!

I'LL KEEP IT BUSY!

[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]

Noah: THAT'S RIGHT--

DEEP BREATHS.

DON'T LOOK AT THE WALLS.

LOOK AT ME.

I'M SO SORRY FOR GETTING YOU

INTO THIS.

NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, I WILL

GET YOU OUT OF HERE, SAFE AND

SOUND.

[ SIGHS ]

RIGHT.

AS SOON AS YOU FIND YOUR

CROWBAR.

Noah: I SWEAR I HAD IT WITH

ME THIS MORNING.

IT'S GONNA BE OKAY.

[ GROWLING ]

Rex: COME ON, KITTY, KITTY,

KITTY!

PUT A MOVE ON!

THIS IS NOT WORKING.

I NEED A PLAN "B."

Rex: YOU OKAY?

JUST ANOTHER MONDAY FOR ME.

Rex: AAH!

[ GROWLS ]

REX! DUCK!

Rex: [ Shivering ] H-HOW--

HOW WOULD DUCKING HAVE HELPED?

LET'S GIVE THIS ONE MORE SHOT.

[ MEOWS ]

OH, YOU'RE SUCH A PRETTY

KITTY.

[ PURRING ]

>:> HE'S SO SOFT.

Rex: ANNIE, MAYBE YOU'RE NOT

THE ONE TO BE HANDLING A BLACK

CAT.

[ YOWLS, HISSES ]

Noah: BRO, HAVEN'T YOU EVER

HEARD OF KNOCKING?

THANK YOU.

A LOT.

YOU WERE...

KIND OF MY HERO IN THERE.

Noah: AH, JUST BASIC

PSYCHOLOGY.

NOT THAT...IT'S A REAL SCIENCE.

[ BEEP ]

[ GROWLS ]

[ BEEP ]

SEEMS TO HAVE A BATTERY

PROBLEM.

BUT YOU CAN CERTAINLY SEE THE

POTENTIAL FOR YOUR SPOOK SHOW.

THE...UH...SHOW YOU ARE PLANNING

FOR-- FOR NEXT HALLOWEEN.

[ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY ]

CAN'T GET STARTED EARLY ENOUGH.

Rex: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY

BROTHER, CAESAR, THE INVENTOR OF

TONIGHT'S ILLUSIONS.

[ YOWLS ]

Rex: O-KAY, MOST OF THEM.

Noah: SO, CLAIRE, I THOUGHT

WE MIGHT--

YOUR ELECTROMAGNET USED A

NEODYMIUM ALLOY CORE, RIGHT?

IMPRESSIVE DEDUCTION.

CLAIRE USED THE MINI-CHILLER

TO BOOST ITS POWER TO CONDENSE

THE CLOUD EVO.

A CLOUD EVO?

Noah: STILL WAITING.

Rex: I'M SORRY.

TONIGHT DIDN'T WORK OUT QUITE

THE WAY I--

DID THAT THING JUST CROSS OUR

PATH?

Noah: QUICK!

MAYBE WE CAN CIRCLE AROUND!