All language subtitles for Fantasy.Island.1977.S04E13.Worlds.Most.Desirable.Woman-Man.From.Yesterday.720p.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-squalor_track3_[eng]

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

[BELL TOLLS]

The plane! The plane!

[GIRLS GIGGLING]

-Good morning, Boss. -Good morning, Tattoo.

ROARKE: Let's go.

[GIRLS GIGGLING]

Smiles, everyone. Smiles.

[POLYNESIAN MUSIC PLAYING]

-TATTOO: Boss, who is she? -ROARKE: She claims to be

Miss Carla Baines from Chicago, Illinois.

She claims to be?

Yes, Tattoo. I'm afraid she lied about her identity,

along with certain other details in her application,

such as her recent divorce action against Mr. Hal Garnett,

owner and publisher of Erotic Magazine.

Boss, what are you gonna do about it?

Oh, I'm going to grant the lady her fantasy,

which she may very well live to regret.

What kind of fantasy is that?

She wishes to be the world's most desirable woman,

because for years she has felt neglected by Mr. Garnett.

ROARKE: Ah, yes, the gentleman with the camera equipment

is listed as Mr. William T. Keating,

photojournalist from New Orleans,

accompanied by Mrs. Keating.

Boss, are we getting our picture in the paper?

I very much doubt it, Tattoo.

Uh, Mr. Keating is only interested in meeting

one particular person here.

TATTOO: Oh, I get it, he has a fantasy assignment.

ROARKE: Uh, not exactly, Tattoo.

Mr. Keating tells me that for many years,

he has dreamed of tracking down...

and interviewing a certain elusive soldier of fortune.

Major Calvin Doyle.

Boss, I heard about him.

They call him the Mad Major.

He's a famous mercenary leader.

ROARKE: Um, Mr. Keating believes that the Major is living here

on Fantasy Island, under another name, of course.

Unfortunately, Mr. Keating is also a nom de guerre,

one might say, and his interest in locating the Mad Major

is infinitely more personal and perilous

than any mere journalistic assignment.

Boss, are we in for more trouble?

My dear guests, I am Mr. Roarke, your host.

Welcome to Fantasy Island.

[♪♪♪♪♪]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

NARRATOR: In the '60s and early '70s,

wherever civil war or revolution turned a country

into a battleground, there you'd find the Mad Major,

Calvin Doyle, at the head of his crack mercenary troops.

The former American Marine had become the paid ally

of dictators, military juntas, guerrillas and terrorists.

Some described him as a glorified hitman.

Others called him a military genius,

king of the wild east.

That breed of freelance fighting men who,

throughout history, have wandered the world

hiring out their services to the highest bidder. And--

Some career.

-Indeed, quite a story. -NARRATOR: ... and then Vietnam.

Reserve Officer Doyle, recalled to active duty

as Special Consultant to the CIA,

mysteriously disappears and is posted as a deserter.

To this day, he remains a fugitive,

if indeed, he is still alive.

Mr. Keating...

what makes you so certain

that Major Doyle is on Fantasy Island?

A friend of mine, a sea captain,

put in here recently. He saw him on the beach.

Besides, Mr. Roarke, you wouldn't have granted

my fantasy unless you were sure he was here.

Bill's been dreaming about this since Saigon.

A world exclusive.

-You were in Vietnam? -As a correspondent.

That was several years ago.

You realize that, uh,

the Major may not be the same man you knew then.

A leopard doesn't change his spots, Mr. Roarke.

Once a killer--

Oh, well...

can you tell me where he is?

I'm afraid you'll have to search for your fantasy, Mr. Keating.

I see.

Let's go.

-Thanks. -Good hunting, Mr. Keating.

Here we are, Miss Baines.

Two likenesses of the world's most desirable women

in classical times.

Known to the ancient Greeks as Aphrodite,

goddess of sensual beauty, and to the Romans as Venus,

-goddess of love. -[SCOFFS]

Mr. Roarke, I-- [CHUCKLES]

I do appreciate this lovely gift you gave me but...

no bathing suit is going to make me into one of those ladies.

ROARKE: Uh, you look most...

uh, desirable, if I may say so, Miss Baines.

[CARLA LAUGHS] Thank you.

My 39-year-old body also thanks you, but...

I'm--

I'm just a little embarrassed about all this, Mr. Roarke.

Boss, maybe she's changed her mind.

Have you, Miss Baines?

Do you indeed wish to cancel your fantasy?

[SIGHS]

But it's nothing more than plain old water.

Ah, not exactly, Miss Baines.

It is rumored that its source

is a secret spring deep in the earth's mantle.

A source which also feeds the legendary Fountain of Youth,

for which the great explorer Ponce de Leon searched in vain.

You need only step into its water...

and your fantasy will begin.

ROARKE: Trust me, Miss Baines.

Have faith, Miss Baines.

In me, in the fountain.

MARSHA: What happens now, Mr. Roarke?

Boss, she's gone.

No, Tattoo, on the contrary.

Miss Baines is about to...

arrive.

[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]

Well, you must be number eight.

Where in blazes have you been, anyway? I've been looking

all over the place for you.

Come on, the contest is about to begin.

[SCOFFS] Contest?

Yeah, contest for the most desirable woman in the world.

What'd you do, hit your head on the bottom of the pool

or something? Come on.

After you.

I wonder what lipstick I should wear.

Darn these false eyelashes.

I hope this makeup covers this pimple.

I'm never gonna be ready in time.

Oh, I'm so nervous, I could die.

I can't get my hands to quit shaking.

My contact lens, I've lost it.

MODEL 1: Sometimes I wish, I'd been born ugly.

-MODEL 2: Some poet said... -I'll tell you something, kid.

All right, you don't need it but...

[WHISPERS] ...good luck.

[CHUCKLES] Kid? The name's Carla.

[CHUCKLES]

Something wrong?

No.

[LAUGHS] As a matter of fact, things have never been better.

[CHUCKLES]

For sure.

Time to move.

-Is that him? -That's Doyle.

JED: As soon as the others leave, I'll go down and...

[CLICKS] ...say hello.

For God's sakes, Bill!

You didn't say anything about this.

JED: You're in no danger, Lucy.

Just sit right where you are and watch what happens.

Then afterwards, you can be my impartial witness.

[WHISTLES]

I know that song. It's the one you learned in Africa.

A long time ago.

Who is that man?

An old acquaintance of mine.

Go help your sisters, Petie.

I said go.

Jed Borrison.

I guess, I always knew this day would come.

I'm taking you back, Cal, on your feet or in a box,

it's up to you.

But I'm taking you back.

You're going to shoot an unarmed man?

JED: You're a renegade, a wanted criminal.

The statute to limitations doesn't apply to treason

or murder. I could execute you right now.

And get a commendation in the process, sure.

You denied me enough of them.

This time I'd just as soon deliver the carcass.

-Let's go, Cal. -My name is John, Mr. John.

I've been here eight years now. It's my home.

I don't plan on leaving.

So, you'd better kill me now.

-Your choice, Major. -PETIE: Drop it, mister!

Don't turn around. Just drop the gun.

CALVIN: I know what you're thinking, Jed.

Why don't I cut you down? Finally get rid of my nemesis.

I'll tell you the truth...

I'm just darn sick and tired of killing.

You know, I could have sneaked in here just now

and shot you in the back.

That's not your style.

No fun.

You want to watch my face.

You want me to squirm when you do it.

You got it, Major.

JED: I'll be back.

I know.

[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]

-[INDISTINCT CHATTER] -[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]

MARSHA: Roarke did it. He made me young again.

[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]

Hi. This is Liz Fuller, welcoming you to part one

in our series of interviews with Mr. Hal Garnett,

publisher of Erotic Magazine.

While around us the world's most desirable woman contest,

sponsored by Mr. Garnett and his magazine, is getting underway.

Why aren't you over there watching, like everyone else?

Liz, in my job, every day is a beauty contest,

so I guess you might say that the, uh--

The mystery has worn off.

Between us, Hal,

how would you describe a man who can order up

all that feminine pulchritude on command?

GARNETT: Pulchritude?

[LAUGHS] Why, you make it sound so dehumanizing.

"Dehumanizing"? How can you say that?

A man who's probably had more love affairs

than all the movie producers in Hollywood combined.

GARNETT: Well, yes, affairs, but, um...

well, I guess, you might say that's an occupational hazard.

I really think love is something that happens to a man maybe

once in his lifetime.

Oh, come on now, don't spoil it for the multitudes

who share your amorous escapades with their corn flakes.

No, I'm serious, Liz.

Oh, I've-- I've known a lot

of beautiful women, wonderful women,

and I've had rewarding relationships with some of them,

but I've only been in love,

really in love, once.

You, uh, wouldn't care to tell us her name?

Marsha.

My wife.

- MARSHA: Oh, boy. -[CHUCKLES]

What a marvelous compliment for Mrs. Garnett.

I hope she appreciates it.

You'll have to ask her lawyer. She just filed for divorce.

You heard it first on The Liz Fuller Show.

TATTOO: Ladies and gentlemen...

the three semi-finalists are...

I-- I really must go. Thank you.

TATTOO: Joanne Mercier.

-[EXCLAIMS] -[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]

-Trish Rhodes. -[ALL GASPING]

Carla Baines.

-[ALL GASPING] -[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER OVER PA]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Thank you. Thank you.

Tomorrow, we'll judge

the world's most desirable woman.

[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]

ROARKE: You lied to me, Mrs...

Miss Carson.

-You know my real name. -Of course.

Do you realize, you are part of a plot to murder Major Doyle?

No! Bill paid me to come here with him as Mrs. Keating!

Look, that's all I know.

I'm just a cocktail waitress.

A free trip to Fantasy Island, well, I jumped at the chance.

Mr. Roarke, I swear...

I had no idea what he was planning.

Please, just get me out of here.

Where was, uh, Mr. Keating when you last saw him?

At the beach... talking to Doyle.

Very well. [EXHALES]

There will be a seat for you on the next plane out.

Thank you.

Boss, you knew about Mr. Keating's true purpose

in coming here.

Why did you grant him his fantasy?

Because I realized,

as Major Doyle himself has always known,

that the confrontation between them was inevitable,

someday, somewhere.

I, therefore, decided that it might as well be here

on Fantasy Island, where I might be able to help him.

Can you help him?

I hope so, Tattoo.

But if the Major decides

to leave the island, to run again...

there's no way I can save him.

[♪♪♪♪♪]

Petie, where are you going?

Oh, come on, you've been sulking all day. What's wrong?

I have things to do.

Look, a man came from my past.

He talked about the way I used to be.

It is my past.

He called you a killer.

Oh, Petie, I swear to you, I found peace here!

For the first time in my life, I found love!

Then fight for it!

You told me that peace and freedom were things

worth fighting for. And if you don't fight

for them, you lose them.

Do it!

Or everything you ever told us was a lie.

[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

-Oh, Miss Baines. -Oh, Mr. Roarke.

[CHUCKLES] Well, you did a terrific job,

you and your fountain.

Look at me.

Well, it's very difficult not to look at you, Miss Baines.

[ROARKE CLEARS THROAT]

Uh, I suggest that you enjoy it while it lasts.

Oh, I will enjoy it, Mr. Roarke. Scout's honor.

Uh, you have not forgotten, I trust...

...that when the weekend is over, you will once again...

shall we say, look your age.

Oh, that's all right, Mr. Roarke.

I have plenty of time to do what I came here for.

Excuse me.

[GARNETT COUGHING]

-[GARNETT CONTINUES TO SLEEP] -[CHUCKLES]

[GARNETT] It's incredible.

Well, that certainly is a nasty cough.

You should take something for it.

The face, the eyes, the-- the way you move, I--

I know that line.

It's from a Cole Porter song, right?

You look and sound exactly like--

Like whom?

Like Marsha.

Like my wife.

Well, I'd like to see your wife.

Well, you can't, I mean, she's-- she's not here.

Um, also, she's not really my wife. She's divorcing me.

Boss, you look worried.

I am, Tattoo.

I thought Miss Baines was above that.

-Above what? -Revenge.

Maybe it would help you to talk.

Would you like to tell me about your wife?

I sure would.

She, um...

She has a radiant smile, just like yours.

-Her laugh sounds like music. -[CHUCKLES]

She still has a good figure.

Well, that's good to hear.

But she's older.

So is the best wine.

Excuse me, Boss, I need Carla for a photo session.

Oh.

She's next month's centerfold, you know.

You don't mind posing like that?

Oh, no, not at all.

[CHUCKLES] I mean, why should I? I'm a free agent, Mr. Garnett.

I won't embarrass anybody.

MARSHA: Besides, it's for Erotic Magazine.

Okay, fine. Now, drop the robe.

This is no time to get coy.

Carla, this is not a white sale we're doing here, okay?

This is Erotic Magazine.

Now, you happen to be our centerfold.

So drop the robe.

Come on, it's Mr. Garnett's stock in trade.

No!

Will you please come with me, Miss Baines? Now.

Look, Mr. Roarke, we happen to be doing a photo session here

-and I've got work to-- -Back off, Mr. Strutton.

ROARKE: I want to see you in my office in three hours.

Petie, I uh, I want you to promise me something.

I'll take care of everything. Don't worry about us.

I'm almost 16, you know.

[CAGE RATTLING]

Look, I really don't want to do this.

It's okay. You've already explained.

I'm gonna go for a walk. I'll talk to you later.

Mr. Roarke.

Good to see you.

I thought it was time we had a little chat...

Major.

I guess it is.

Though, I'm pretty sure you know all about me.

I know that, uh, you are a man of many wars,

that you led your own private army and campaigns

on three continents, and in less than two decades,

changed the course of world history.

I guess my past has finally caught up with me.

CALVIN: Somewhere out there, Jed Borrison is watching.

I could just feel it.

[EXHALES DEEPLY]

Look, I didn't mean to make trouble.

I know, now I never should have come to Fantasy Island.

On the contrary.

You have been a definite asset to our community...

Mr. Doyle.

ROARKE: Perhaps you are being unduly harsh on yourself.

The Mad Major was a product of a troubled time.

A violent era.

But it seems to me that, uh, in all of your ventures,

you took the side of the underdog.

Well, I tried, Mr. Roarke.

I made a lot of mistakes.

-Men died. -Indeed.

But you also saved many lives.

In my opinion, most of the time you were right.

And, uh, Mr. Borrison's superiors, those faceless,

nameless men who wanted to use you, were wrong.

And in the end, disowned you, made you a scapegoat.

CALVIN: Mr. Roarke...

what do you think I should do now?

Well, uh, since you ask, I suggest you try to arrange...

a little party...

for your adopted family and the many close friends

you've made here.

There's time enough.

[SIGHS]

Mr. Roarke, I think you're right.

I would like to leave them with some nice memories.

I also want you to know that I-- I really tried to leave

all that violence behind me.

I know.

I guess it's true what they say, though...

"He who lives by the sword must die by the sword."

Thank you.

-Ah, Mr. Garnett. -Oh, Mr. Roarke,

-thank you for coming. -My pleasure.

-What can I do for you? -I, uh...

I could use some advice.

-About a girl. -Indeed.

Well, I should think you would be the very last man

to need advice in that department.

Yes, I know, but this is not...

this is not just any girl, Mr. Roarke. You see...

There is no need to explain, Mr. Garnett.

You have met a girl who bears a remarkable resemblance

to your wife when she was the same age. Am I correct?

Yes, that's right. But it's-- it's not just looks...

it-- it goes deeper than that, see.

GARNETT: I look at her, I talk to her...

and it reminds me of the way things used to be,

still could be...

if I hadn't loused them up.

Oh, please, Mr. Garnett,

you mustn't be too hard for yourself.

Well, I'm to blame for the divorce.

I'm not even gonna contest it.

Uh, perhaps it would be best if you left the island today

and did not see this young woman again.

Well, I thought of that, too. But I can't.

I have to see her again.

Well, you have the reputation for wisdom and understanding.

-Can you help me? -I will try, Mr. Garnett.

I cannot promise you that I will succeed, but um...

I will try.

Thank you.

What's bothering you, Mr. Roarke?

What do you think, Mrs. Garnett?

So, you know I'm Hal's wife.

Oh, I knew that before you arrived.

It is my business to know everything about our guests.

Uh, please, have a seat, won't you?

Then you must know how much I'm enjoying myself.

It's a perfectly wonderful fantasy.

Mrs. Garnett, your fantasy was to be

the world's most desirable woman for one weekend.

But to break his heart, to punish him...

I should have never granted your application.

Vengeance is not the purpose of Fantasy Island.

Mr. Roarke...

do you remember what I looked

like when I arrived here yesterday?

Not bad for a middle-aged mother and wife...

who's been through so much pain with that man.

All the years, he was struggling to make it,

I held him when he cried.

I reassured him when he was frightened.

Now back home, when I look in the mirror,

I'm the one that's frightened.

Who will hold me, Mr. Roarke?

The divorce was your idea, Mrs. Garnett.

A formality.

Actually, it'll only be a half divorce.

I belonged to Hal, but he never belonged to me.

I should have bought stock in his magazine

and all of his other business ventures.

I'd have gotten a bigger piece of Hal Garnett's action.

You came here to get even...

and you are succeeding, Mrs. Garnett.

Your husband is not just shocked and confused.

He's seriously depressed.

Honestly?

Honestly.

I didn't realize Hal was so sensitive.

Okay, what do I do to get out of this fouled up fantasy?

Go back in the swimming pool?

Oh, you are a finalist in the beauty contest.

If you were to disappear now,

it would cause a great hue and cry.

There's no telling what effect that might have on your husband.

It could totally destroy him, you know.

Then I'll stay away from him.

I won't even talk to him.

I promise.

NATIVE CHOIR: See him there

The Zulu warrior

See him there

The Zulu chief, chief Chief, chief

See him there

The Zulu warrior

See him there

The Zulu chief, chief Chief, chief

I cuma zimba, zimba, zia I cuma zimba, zimba, zee

I cuma zimba, zimba, zia I cuma zimba, zimba, zee

See him there

The Zulu warrior

See him there

The Zulu chief, chief Chief, chief

I cuma zimba, zimba, zia I cuma zimba, zimba, zee

No, Petie. You must stay here and care for the others.

In his absence, you are the man of the house.

Hey, you're armed. That makes things simpler.

I'm gonna make just one try at this, Jed.

Turn around and walk away with your hands showing...

and take the first plane out.

JED: Why would I want to do that?

I don't want to kill you.

Mr. Roarke, make him stop! Please, make him stop!

I'm sorry, Petie, I cannot intervene.

Petie, look into my eyes.

The man you know as Mr. John is a gentle, loving man.

But that was not always so.

Look at him, Petie.

Look closely at him.

[GUNSHOTS IN DISTANCE]

Now do you understand?

It is as though the man you just saw,

the... dedicated leader of mercenaries,

died nine years ago.

The one you call Mr. John must answer for what he did.

That's far enough.

Go home, Jed. Just go home.

[GROANS]

No!

[SOBS]

[DISCO MUSIC PLAYING]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[♪♪♪♪♪]

Hal, sweetie, I'm out of the contest.

-Eliminated. -Oh, that's too bad.

Not really. No more interviews, photo sessions.

I'm free to stay up late.

Maybe go to dinner, if someone asks me.

Maybe someone will ask you.

I will, if you'll do me the honor.

I'd love to.

I'm gonna win tonight, right, Hal, honey?

Oh, uh, sure, baby. Sure.

Are you all right?

No, I'm not to her.

I gotta talk to her.

I told you real love only happens to a man...

once in his life.

I was wrong.

No. Come on. Come on.

LIZ: You could have any woman you want.

Don't make a fool out of yourself, Hal.

Come on.

[BAND PLAYING MUSIC]

-Here you are. -TATTOO: Thank you very much.

Ladies and gentlemen, here are the final results.

The third-place winner is...

-Trish Rhodes. -WOMAN: Oh, that's wonderful!

[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]

Third? You promised me I'd win!

[GARNETT YELPS]

Uh, I'm sorry. She seems to be a little disappointed.

Uh, our second, uh, uh, place winner is Carla Baines.

-Carla Baines! -[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]

TATTOO: And therefore, the winner is, Joanne Mercier.

[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]

-Congratulations. -MARSHA: Thank you.

Well, don't be so disappointed.

The runner up gets a lot of little goodies.

Maybe a TV shot.

That's not what I came here for.

I wanted more. A lot more. Excuse me.

What did you come here for, Carla? Movie contract?

Your own cosmetics campaign?

Oh, Hal, what do you want?

You, Carla. I want you.

All those exquisite women.

Why me?

I know this is crazy.

I mean, we've-- we've just met, but I--

Somehow, I have a feeling that with you I have a chance

to make a new start.

The way I did with my wife a long time ago.

The one that I let slip away.

But, Carla...

I'm a lot wiser now.

I know we could make it work.

Even though, I am a lot older than you.

Oh, hell, I feel like I'm gonna break

into a chorus of September Song.

Oh, Hal...

if I said yes, what would you do?

Would you, for instance...

take me to a little old hotel in Cape Cod, where the owners

have been married for 50 years and still hold hands?

Would you take me walking in the woods

and pick me a wildflower that matches my eyes?

How did you know that?

How do you think, Prince Harold?

Prince?

No one ever called me that but Marsha.

How could anyone else know about those things?

This is impossible!

Oh, I've lost my mind. I have. It's gone.

ROARKE: No, Mr. Garnett.

Amazing though, it may seem,

uh, this young lady is indeed Mrs. Marsha Garnett, your wife.

She has quite literally discovered

-the Fountain of Youth. -[EXCLAIMS]

It's a miracle.

[CHUCKLES] Well, the news isn't all that good, darling.

At midnight, I turn back into a pumpkin.

Uh, what your wife actually means, Mr. Garnett,

is that her fantasy to become the most desirable woman

in the world is about to end.

And she's preparing herself to become once again

a charming lady approaching middle age.

Well, that's fine with me.

If I can just persuade you to cancel that divorce.

[CHUCKLES]

So, persuade me.

ROARKE: Uh, however...

there is a-- a slight technical hitch, I might say.

Something's gone wrong, Mr. Roarke?

Uh, well, that depends upon your point of view.

It would seem that someone, I'm not exactly certain who,

miscalculated.

I am afraid that the effects of the fountain

will not wear off at the close of this weekend,

as we all anticipated.

They won't? Well, when will they?

Never. Your wife, metabolically speaking,

will be 21 years of age today.

But from this time forward, she will age naturally.

-[LAUGHS] Oh, wonderful! -Wonderful? What's so wonderful?

Listen, I'm not a kid anymore and I am damn sick

of running around with kids!

Oh, I never was all that active, Hal.

But maybe now I've got some time to do some catching up.

Mr. Roarke, young studs are gonna be chasing my wife

all over the place. How am I ever gonna compete?

That's a good question.

What did you always call it?

Um, an occupational hazard?

Marsha, that's not fair.

Mr. Roarke, I am finally ready to settle down and...

look at her.

ROARKE: It is indeed a pleasure to do so and I certainly see

your problem, Mr. Garnett.

I suggest that from now on you become an extremely

attentive husband.

[POLYNESIAN MUSIC PLAYING]

[ENGINE REVS]

We're, uh, very grateful, Mr. Roarke.

I am delighted.

Even though, I didn't actually

get to be the world's most desirable woman. [CHUCKLES]

Oh, but you are, Mrs. Garnett. At least to one man.

Two men, Boss.

Mrs. Garnett, can I take your picture, please?

Of course, Tattoo.

Well, your rather unexpected reunion turned out successfully

-after all, huh? -Yes.

Instead of a divorce, a second honeymoon.

-Oh? -We're going on a world cruise.

Indeed.

And, uh, what about, uh, Erotic Magazine,

your business empire?

I'm, uh...

selling the magazine to Mark.

He's younger. He has the energy

to deal with all those occupational hazards.

I see.

-Goodbye, Mr. Roarke. -Goodbye, Mr. Garnett.

-Goodbye, Mr. Roarke. -Bye, Mrs. Garnett.

-Tattoo. -Bye-bye.

Bye, Tattoo.

-Boss, the picture! -ROARKE: Yes?

Mrs. Garnett. She looks the same as when she arrived.

To whom, Tattoo? To you? To me? To the camera?

To the rest of the world?

However, one thing is certain,

Mrs. Garnett will forever remain beautiful in the watchful eyes

of her adoring husband.

You're getting me confused.

Well, that's odd. It's perfectly clear to me.

Nancy.

Thank you.

Let's go, Boss.

Not just yet, Tattoo.

We have to say goodbye to another guest...

Major Doyle.

But he's dead. That man, Mr. Keating, shot him.

He was only wounded, Tattoo.

You see, by a strange coincidence,

the bridge railing broke at the precise moment

that Mr. Keating opened fire, thereby allowing the Major

to disappear from view and swim downstream.

How come you didn't tell me, Boss?

Because I promised Mr. Doyle I would tell no one,

except you, now.

You see, Tattoo, Mr. Keating flew home yesterday

believing his fantasy had been fulfilled.

He came here to shoot the Mad Major

and he did, didn't he?

As a result, Mr. Doyle has finally found peace,

because he's now believed to be dead by all the enemies

who might otherwise pursue him.

Very clever. Very, very clever, Boss.

[CAR APPROACHING]

Well, Major Doyle...

how do you feel?

Sad, Mr. Roarke.

Sad because I have to leave Fantasy Island.

Why does the Major have to leave?

Because, Tattoo, others will be after me. Men like Jed Borrison.

Where will you go?

I'm sure somewhere out there there's an island

where nobody knows Calvin Doyle.

Where we can make another home and be together,

like a real family.

[SIGHS] Well, goodbye, Mr. Roarke.

Goodbye. Fantasy Island is sorry to lose such a good,

law-abiding citizen.

Thank you.

Goodbye, girls. Bye, Petie.