Original subtitles

COLE: Deluxe suites with in-room spas.

Heart-shaped hot tubs.

Some rooms have mirrored ceilings.

Why would there be a mirror on the ceiling?

I don't know.

Oh.

Are you sure we're doing the right thing, Cole?

Are you getting cold hands?

The expression is "cold feet."

Don't worry. Everything will be okay.

Darling.

Where have I heard that before?

So you know what to do, right?

I thought you'd be able to show me.

Oh, like I'm the one with all the experience?

Well, uh, come on, honey.

Our heart-shaped bathtub's getting cold.

And so am I.

[ telephone ringing ]

WOMAN: Oh, look.

I've heard about the seminars,

and they can get pretty wild.

I think we should reconsider this, Cole.

Well, we can't go back now. We've come so far.

Listen, there's something you need to know about me.

I'm not that good...

Really?

In front of a group.

It's the group that makes me nervous.

Well, this isn't easy for me either now.

It's my first time.

[ ding ]

Can I help you?

Yes, we've just, uh, tied our rope.

- Knot. - Huh?

We have a reservation. Uh, we're here for the seminar.

Your name?

- Cole. - Hauser.

Uh, Mr. And Mrs. Cole Hauser.

COLE: This is Cirron, my home.

One of 6 planets in the Migar Federation.

There was a prison break.

218 of the most violent criminals have disappeared

into the city of Chicago.

Finding them won't be easy.

They aren't human.

And luckily for Earth, neither am I.

[ laughs ] Oh.

MAN: Did you know the Heritage Lodestone Inn

- is over 150 years old? - Honey.

Of course, we're always updating.

Right now, we're building

a state-of-the-art gym in the basement.

Guess they're gonna give the mattresses

a bit of a workout tonight.

Let's get that door.

Yeah, yeah. Let's get it.

And here we are.

The Huntsman Suite.

Teddy Roosevelt slept here.

- Ah. - How romantic.

Did he give the mattresses a good workout?

He was a pretty big guy.

Hmm.

Are you getting anything?

Well, the indicators I'm getting are confusing.

There must be interference of some kind.

MEL: Excuse me. Excuse me.

Why do they call this the Huntsman Suite?

Doesn't look very huntsman-like to me.

Uh, well, the inn went through

a complete renovation a couple years ago.

The idea was to make it

more attractive to the average guest.

You should have seen it before.

Animal heads on the walls, bearskin rugs.

It was pretty impressive.

Do you do any hunting, Mr. Hauser?

Occasionally.

Me, too. Deer mostly. Yourself?

My prey tends to be more exotic.

Ah. Anyway, you've got your television with remote,

the mini-bar's right there.

Room service is open 24 hours a day.

So feel free to pick up the phone

and give us a call at anytime.

My name's Allen, and your key.

- Thank you. - Thank you.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

That's a male bonding ritual that Nestov taught me.

It now means that I'm "down with him."

You sure are.

[ sighs ] Listen, Cole.

Are you sure we're in the right place?

I mean, what would 2 fugitives be doing

at a sexual bliss seminar?

COLE: I'm not sure.

This is where Nestov heard they'd be.

And he had no idea about the bodies

they acquired on the train?

Well, you know Nestov.

He's not very good with details.

So we just have to pick them out of a crowd.

Piece of cake.

No, thank you.

No, what I meant was "easy job."

It's not gonna be easy at all, Mel.

If I can't sense the presence of the Vaylix sisters,

then it means they've found a way to mask their energies.

If they discover me before I discover them,

they'll have a strategic advantage.

Cole, I don't think the management would appreciate

what you're doing with the television.

On Orsus, Cedra and Vedra Vaylix were assassins.

They murdered dozens.

And they were very efficient at their jobs.

[ beep ]

And because Orsians are telepathic,

if you can intercept their thought waves,

you can pinpoint their location, right?

You're getting very good at this, Mel.

You're learning a lot about Migar cultures.

A girl needs a hobby.

What did you rig that thing up to do this time?

COLE: It's a translator.

If I can hone in on their frequencies,

I can read their thought waves.

[ knocking on door ]

- DR. JANET: Mrs. Hauser? - Yeah.

Hi.

Congratulations, newlyweds.

I--I'm so happy for you.

Oh. Uh, honey, we have company.

I'll be right there, honey.

Well, I--I thought I'd just come down

and personally welcome you.

Here.

Why don't you take one of my brochures?

I brought it for you. Look through it.

I think you'll find some of our seminars,

uh, shall we say, stimulating?

Oh.

Oh, Dr. Janet, this is my husband, Cole.

I'm gonna show you both

how to fill every one of your nights together

with endless passion.

That sounds hot. Right, baby?

That's how you like it-- hot. Right, baby?

Yes, and it's up to you to keep it hot.

So let's get started, okay?

DR. JANET: Now the key to sexual bliss is

trying to keep things fresh like you're newlyweds.

Don't be afraid to try different things--

dressing up like a pirate or maybe a flight attendant.

[ classical music plays ]

There's nothing more beautiful

than 2 lovers truly in love.

Nothing more beautiful in the universe.

Come on. Show your love for this beautiful couple.

Maybe some of you would, uh, like to have a cigarette

after that little display.

You two know how to keep it fresh,

and I like that.

I want to see more of it.

Oh, speaking of fresh.

[ both laugh ]

My third husband, Rain.

We make love every day.

Rain or shine.

[ laughs ]

Such a bad boy. Come here.

[ applause, cheering ]

Get a room!

All right! You go!

Mmm.

Demonstrating affection

is going to be your key to a happy love life.

Never be afraid to show your love--

wherever and whenever, hmm?

[ both laugh ]

No inhibitions allowed.

- Let's try it, shall we? - Mm-hmm.

With, um...

The Hausers.

Who have come all the way from?

Chicago, Illinois.

Come on, foxy lady.

Get cozy on the loveseat.

Go ahead, you two. It's okay.

Show us some affection.

Come on.

Come on. You can do it.

- Oh. - Oh, come on.

My grandmother's hotter than that.

[ all laugh ]

We need practice. Don't we, Mr. Hauser?

Make him kiss the head.

Kiss the head!

ALL: Kiss the head!

They want the head, honey.

Mr. Hauser, what we do with the head

is we measure the galvanic responses

of your kisses.

So you put some juice into this baby.

Like this.

Ooh! Yes, sir!

There's my bad boy. Look at that!

Right off the scale.

You can go all night long.

Now most important, this experiment,

though it seems silly,

helps you to lose your inhibitions

for showing affection in public.

So come on. You can do it. Give it a try.

Here you are.

Don't worry, it's sterile.

Unlike me.

DR. JANET: That's it.

Oh, my!

Oh!

Baby, look!

Oh, bravo!

Whoa!

Bravo!

Bravo, Mr. Hauser.

COLE: Thank you.

That was great.

That was good.

Well, at least one of us works well in a group.

While you were having fun,

were you able to locate the sisters?

No, I haven't picked up on their frequency yet.

Did you notice the doctor and her husband

wearing identical jewelry?

Cole, everyone here is wearing identical jewelry.

I know, but not like theirs.

I know it's not the same

as Orsian telepathic collars we've seen in the past.

Maybe they've adapted them.

Good point.

Besides, they're unlike any other humans I've met.

- I'm gonna check them out. - What can I do?

RAIN: Ah, Mel, there you are.

Uh, husbands get a break now.

Uh, you get to meet up with your better half

at the reception later.

It's ladies only time, okay?

Great.

Come, come, come.

Bye, honey.

You know, it's like

he's a seething mass of testosterone,

and sometimes he just overwhelms me.

I know that if we have a problem,

um, in the bedroom, that it's mine.

It's your fault? Is that what you're saying?

Yeah.

Mr. Hauser?

Thank you, Erica.

Thank you. That was terrific.

Okay, who's next?

Mel.

Mel. Time to tell us everything, huh?

Actually, I'm finding it really helpful

just to listen, but thank you.

No, no, no. We want to hear everything.

Time to kiss and tell.

How about some encouragement here?

That's the spirit. Sit.

Okay, but that still doesn't explain

what you were doing in my room.

Uh, I wanted to talk to you about something personal.

Uh, it's okay.

Oh, something that called

for complete privacy, Mr. Hauser?

I didn't know how to say it

in front of the other people.

It's all right, Mr. Hauser.

You can talk to me.

I don't know what to say.

Whisper it to me.

I'm a professional.

I promise not to tell a soul.

Come on.

[ whispering ]

He's just so obsessed with his work, you know?

I mean, sometimes,

it's like I'm not even in the room,

and then there's the other times

I look at him and I think...

"You don't need me."

But is he a good lover, Mel?

Who knows?

I mean, yes.

[ sighs ]

Who am I kidding?

This is not gonna work.

I mean, there's just too much distance between us.

Too many cultural differences.

Why did you marry him, then?

He had this...

immigration problem.

Hi.

Holding hands, you don't need me.

Don't look now, but I think we're being watched.

Ugh, sleaze.

That's my Chuck over there.

Isn't he great?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

I can't tell you how great it feels

to be in love with someone so...

just sweet and dedicated to a relationship.

So where is your ball and chain anyway?

Oh.

He had a headache.

No, no, no, no, no, Mr. Hauser,

come in, join the party.

Look at this place.

This is the perfect evening for you

to start expressing yourself like we talked about.

Oh, hello. Looking great.

Excuse me, Mr. Hauser, I see Rain,

got to talk to him about tomorrow's seminar.

Have fun.

He's gorgeous.

WOMAN: Yeah.

CEDRA: The tracker's here, Vedra.

VEDRA: Are you sure it's him?

He definitely fits the description Zin gave us.

Is he alone?

CEDRA: No, he's with his human companion, Mel.

VEDRA: Forget about her. She's disposable.

He's the one we have to watch.

Hello, sweetheart.

I was looking for you everywhere.

Well, if it isn't my favorite wallflower.

Glad you could make it. How's the headache?

It aches.

Uh, could I steal her away for a moment?

So is it Janet and Rain?

No, but the Vaylix sisters definitely are in this room.

Unfortunately...

They know that I'm tracking them.

COLE: You should leave.

I can collect them some other time on my own terms.

Well, you might not get another chance later.

And even if you do, what about all the problems

they could cause between then and now?

This hotel is built over lodestone,

which means there's too much geomagnetic activity

for me to sense the Vaylix sisters' presence.

If I can't sense who they are,

I can't protect you.

If I'm the reason you want to pull out, Cole,

forget about it.

A few months ago we became a team, remember?

I remember.

And you needed my help, and I gave it to you.

And I didn't always understand why or how,

but I gave it to you.

And now that things get hairy,

you want to call the whole thing off.

It's not going to happen.

That's not what teamwork is about.

Do you understand what I'm saying?

Yes, Mel.

Thank you.

Okay.

So we go back in there, the happy couple.

[ disco music playing ]

DR. JANET: There you are, Mr. Hauser.

I've been looking all over the place for you.

I thought we might continue the little chat we were having.

- Uh, well-- - Let's dance.

Well, we were just going to have a drink at the bar.

Right after our dance.

I promise I'll get him back in time for bed.

Uh, gin and tonic, please.

- Yes, ma'am. - Double.

♪ You've got to dance with me ♪

♪ Dance with me, my love

♪ And let me take you higher... ♪

Everything all right?

Everything's fine. No problem.

Okay, I'm not buying that.

What?

You had a fight with Mr. Wonderful.

Just something with his job came up.

You know, what is it with men and their work?

Why can't they just keep it at the office?

You know, Mr. Hauser, marriage is a job.

Of course, it's the only job in the world

where you can still get a little nooky

at the home office

without worrying about anybody suing you.

Mel's unhappy

because she's not getting any of this nooky?

You tell me.

I can't say I've ever really given her any.

Although I may have accidentally given her some

without really knowing it.

Okay, Mr. Hauser, you know,

you might be the strangest man I've ever met.

You know, I really wish I knew why men were so dense.

[ laughs ]

Must be some kind of biological imperative to it.

I don't know, it's just like everywhere I've been,

they're all the same.

Hmm, except for my Chuck.

Sometimes Cole and I are so far apart.

Light-years.

I know what that's like. Don't let it get you down.

After a couple of years you're so in sync,

you're finishing off each other's sentences.

How long have you and Chuck been together?

[ sighs ]

Feels like forever.

[ salsa music playing ]

That's it, Mr. Hauser.

Spontaneity is the key.

Can you believe the nerve of that guy?

His wife is here, and he's flirting with you.

Actually, I think he's flirting with you.

Oh, yeah, that's a sign that I should go round up Chuck.

You know what? Don't worry about it.

Tomorrow morning, it'll all be history.

You won't even remember you had a fight.

Thanks. See you in the morning.

You can count on it.

Don't even think about it.

CEDRA: I'm ready, Vedra. How about you?

VEDRA: Where do you want to do it?

CEDRA: I found the perfect place.

An empty section of the hotel.

It's closed for renovation.

I can assemble the components there.

Wait for my word.

VEDRA: I'll keep an eye on the tracker.

Oh. Olé.

That wasn't so bad, was it, Mr. Hauser?

Mr. Hauser?

Oh, there you are.

Mr. Hauser?

Mr. Hauser--

Hello?

Hello?

MAN: I can read your mind.

You know what goes on at these seminars.

What are you talking about?

I mean this whole thing is just a...

thinly disguised convention for people like us...

for people who like to experiment...

for people who know that

variety is the true spice of any love life...

for people who like to play.

Okay, who let you out of the zoo?

Come on now, honey.

[ whispering ] Don't be like that.

Oh, you want to play?

Oh, you bet I do, babe.

So we're playing now, babe.

You know, I've encountered

a lot of different life forms in my time,

but you--

you are one of the most disgusting, pathetic,

useless creatures I've ever come across.

Love you, babe.

[ crack ]

It's the Watchfire.

Oh, uh, Mr. Hauser.

You gave me a bit of a start.

What, uh--what are you doing here?

I'd ask you the same question.

MAN: Well, just, uh, wanted a quiet place.

I have a little work to do.

So do I.

Vedra, we have work to do.

Uhh!

Sorry you came, Tracker?

Zin said you might be listening to our thoughts.

He was right, wasn't he?

Hurry up, Cedra. Let's just get this done.

One more probe, Sister.

[ chuckles ] One more little probe.

This one might sting a smidge. [ chuckles ]

Sweet dreams, Tracker.

[ romantic music playing ]

Mel...wh--it's late.

You should be in bed with that wonderful husband of yours.

Not necessarily sleeping, of course.

Actually, I was just looking for him.

Well, I can't possibly imagine he'd be hiding

from someone as lovely as you.

He's probably back in our room.

[ electric shock ]

Did you calibrate the actuator?

I just checked it.

Well, I'll just double-check it.

What, you don't trust me?

Well, you were a little late with the tracker.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I didn't know you still needed a babysitter.

- I don't. - You sure about that?

What is the matter, Vedra?

It just really doesn't matter right now.

[ whispering ] Cow!

[ electric shock ]

Bye-bye, Tracker.

[ door opens, shuts ]

CEDRA: [ over speaker ] What about this Mel?

VEDRA: She's unimportant

now that we have what we need.

CEDRA: What do we do with the Cirronian?

VEDRA: This section of the hotel is closed.

No one will find his body until morning,

and we'll be long gone.

VEDRA: Hurry up!

CEDRA: I'm hurrying.

Cole!

Cole. Cole?

What did those bastards do to you, Cole?

Cole. Cole. Cole!

[ whispering ] Cole. Cole. Cole.

[ crying ]

Cole! Cole!

Cole. Cole. Cole.

Cole.

[ muttering ] Power...

Power, power, power.

Power, power...

[ power surging ]

How much?

[ groans ]

[ straining ] Leave it.

MEL: I broke into their room.

They had pictures of the Watchfire.

COLE: They were after me. It was a trap.

Do you think Nestov set you up?

No. Zin knew I'd be monitoring their networks.

Careful.

He leaked information about the Vaylix sisters.

Knew I'd--I'd use it to catch them.

But why here?

Lodestone made it almost impossible to detect them.

Mel, I need to get back to the Watchfire.

Cole, you need to regain your strength.

I let my guard down.

I let myself get distracted.

What do they want with the Watchfire?

Jailbreak, Mel. Jailbreak.

They have my-- my energy signature.

They'll use it to access containment vessel,

free life forces inside.

Well, what good does that do?

I thought life forces needed human bodies to survive.

They do.

Zin must have found a way to transport them.

He'll use them to reintroduce them

into the human population.

And the whole process starts all over again?

Yes.

Did you disarm the silent alarm?

It's taken care of!

- You have the collector? - You have the collector.

You had the collector in your hand!

No, you don't like it when I question you--

second-guess everything you do!

What has gotten into you, anyway?

You know what? Forget about it, okay?

Nothing I have to say is important anyway!

I think the human female hormones

are adversely affecting your thought processes, Vedra.

And what has the testosterone done to you?

Well, whatever it's doing, I'm not going to allow it

to jeopardize our mission.

And neither should you.

Can we get going?

Fine.

How are you feeling?

Better by the minute.

You saved my life back there.

[ horn honks ]

Watch out!

Sorry.

You hurt your hand.

Looks worse than it is.

I'm glad you were the one that found me

when I came to this world.

I didn't tell you before.

I don't think anyone on this planet

could have made a better partner.

Now would you keep your eyes on the road?

I don't want to die

now that we're getting along so well.

So this is the tracker's base of operations.

Well, I'm not very impressed.

Amazing he was able to cause so much damage

with such a primitive setup.

[ device beeping faster ]

Wait.

[ beeping rapidly ]

Wait.

[ chuckles ]

Well, well, well.

Oh, no.

Why are we slowing down?

MEL: The traffic's jammed up.

What are all these people doing here

at this time of night?

Mel, I have to get back to the bar.

Well, it--maybe it's an accident or something.

[ Mel sighs ]

Cole, where do we go from here?

- This is far enough. - What?

My strength has returned.

I can get there faster on my own.

Give me your hand.

Has anyone ever told you how really annoying you are?

Come on...come on!

Nice trick.

But in just a few minutes, Tracker...

all of the life forms you've been collecting

are gonna be ours, buddy boy.

And all of your effort

on this stinking little hunk of rock

will be for nothing.

You--you should have gone home

when you had the chance, pal.

CEDRA: [ telepathically ] The Tracker is here.

VEDRA: [ telepathically ] Hold him off, Cedra.

I'm almost there.

Come on...

Hold on, Sis. I'll join you in just a few seconds.

I'm afraid I'd have to agree with you on that.

Aah...

It was interesting learning about human sexual stimulation.

Yes, it was interesting.

Are there any similarities

to those kinds of things on Cirron?

"Those kinds of things?"

Oh, no.

Our mating rituals are very different, Mel.

We don't have the same physical signatures

you humans have to distinguish male or female.

"Signatures."

Never quite heard them referred to as that.

Wait a second, but if you don't have them,

how can you distinguish a member of the opposite sex?

Well, our beings are divided

into different energy polarities.

Like positive and negative?

It's not quite that simple.

Each of us is a mixture of charges.

Like you have different features,

we have distinct levels of polarities

that tend to attract each other.

Opposites attract.

Yes.

And that's it?

What do you mean?

Well, I mean,

like, you don't have any dating, or romance,

or rejection, or falling in love,

or those awful college hangouts

where he takes you for dinner

and pays with a 2-for-one coupon?

I think our mating rituals are a lot simpler, Mel.

When 2 Cirronians come together in a mating union,

it's--it's an unbelievably blissful experience.

Our polarities melt together for that brief moment...

and in that moment,

we're a completely charged

mass of brilliant energy.

I have something for you.

Aren't you going to open it?

Cole, thank you for a lovely weekend.

Except for that moment where you...

you know.

It was lovely.

Yes, it was.

But I can't get distracted again.

I have work to do.

I know.