All language subtitles for S o T S01E12 Sally Teel 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP5 1 H 264-TEPES_track3_[eng]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:18,252 --> 00:00:19,720 RON: Thank you, Tucson! 2 00:00:23,757 --> 00:00:26,727 Yo, ding-ding. Bad news. 3 00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:28,496 You got the temp job, homeboy. 4 00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:32,600 What? Yep. Welcome to the world of the walking dead, my man. 5 00:00:32,633 --> 00:00:33,701 Oh, this is so awesome! Mm-hmm. 6 00:00:33,734 --> 00:00:34,868 My first job. Yeah. 7 00:00:34,902 --> 00:00:38,639 Allow me to bestow upon you your first employee name tag. 8 00:00:38,672 --> 00:00:39,807 May there be many more. 9 00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:41,209 This says "Randy." 10 00:00:41,242 --> 00:00:42,143 Yeah, yeah, I know. 11 00:00:42,176 --> 00:00:44,212 It's part of Sport Space's "green initiative" 12 00:00:44,245 --> 00:00:44,945 to recycle more. 13 00:00:44,978 --> 00:00:47,181 It was either that or "Sanjay." 14 00:00:47,215 --> 00:00:48,382 I miss Sanjay. 15 00:00:48,416 --> 00:00:50,118 Or whatever his name was. 16 00:00:50,151 --> 00:00:51,319 MAN: Hey. (groans) 17 00:00:51,352 --> 00:00:52,353 Welcome to the team, Randy. 18 00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:53,854 It's actually "Brandon." Amazing. 19 00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:57,591 You're like a mini Ron-- you put a beard on you and... 20 00:00:57,625 --> 00:00:59,460 Wow, you really look nothing like him. 21 00:00:59,493 --> 00:01:01,362 We actually have a lot of things in common-- we both like... 22 00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:04,332 Uh, Shawn, I think I see trying on sprint shoes. 23 00:01:04,365 --> 00:01:05,433 Not on my watch, they're not. 24 00:01:05,466 --> 00:01:06,367 Exactly. 25 00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:07,668 Okay, hey, listen to me. 26 00:01:07,701 --> 00:01:09,370 People around here are pretty chatty, 27 00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:12,406 and I'm sort of so do me a favor 28 00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:14,708 and don't talk me ever, okay? 29 00:01:14,742 --> 00:01:15,843 Well, if someone wants to... No. 30 00:01:15,876 --> 00:01:18,612 But I was just going to... How about you don't, okay? 31 00:01:18,646 --> 00:01:20,448 I'm gonna be in the pup tent display. 32 00:01:20,481 --> 00:01:21,815 Wake me when it's quitting time. 33 00:01:21,849 --> 00:01:23,884 Welcome to the team, Randy. 34 00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:26,187 * 35 00:01:31,725 --> 00:01:33,427 (laughter, indistinct chatter) 36 00:01:33,461 --> 00:01:34,628 Take it easy, Day One. 37 00:01:34,662 --> 00:01:35,863 Oh, Gary, you should've seen it. 38 00:01:35,896 --> 00:01:37,631 This drunk guy comes in from the bar next-door 39 00:01:37,665 --> 00:01:38,799 and throws up everywhere. 40 00:01:38,832 --> 00:01:40,168 And then they get on the P.A., 41 00:01:40,201 --> 00:01:42,170 and they say, "Clean up in active wear." 42 00:01:42,203 --> 00:01:44,472 And you know who they were talking about? Me. 43 00:01:44,505 --> 00:01:46,507 Mm. Oh, it's milestones like that 44 00:01:46,540 --> 00:01:48,242 I wish I was awake for. 45 00:01:48,276 --> 00:01:49,410 Where's small fry? 46 00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:51,279 Robby? He's still in bed. 47 00:01:51,312 --> 00:01:52,413 Didn't go to school today. 48 00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:53,581 He's not feeling well. 49 00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:54,848 Mm. 50 00:01:57,251 --> 00:01:59,487 Oh, right, that's me. Okay. 51 00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:01,555 (makes goofy fart sound) Hey. 52 00:02:01,589 --> 00:02:03,524 Word on the street is you're sick, buddy. 53 00:02:03,557 --> 00:02:04,658 What's the matter? 54 00:02:04,692 --> 00:02:06,594 Gulf War Syndrome. 55 00:02:06,627 --> 00:02:07,928 Wow. 56 00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:10,598 I got headaches, myalgia, 57 00:02:10,631 --> 00:02:11,899 chronic bronchitis... 58 00:02:11,932 --> 00:02:13,801 Oh, nice try. 59 00:02:13,834 --> 00:02:15,536 That is a tough one to pull off. 60 00:02:15,569 --> 00:02:17,205 Too many side effects to keep track of. 61 00:02:17,238 --> 00:02:19,440 I can't even pronounce them. Yeah, I know, right? 62 00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:21,242 So what's the real deal? 63 00:02:21,275 --> 00:02:23,611 There's this kid at school that won't leave me alone. 64 00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:25,179 Knocking my lunch down. 65 00:02:25,213 --> 00:02:27,181 Leaving threatening notes in my cubby. 66 00:02:27,215 --> 00:02:28,416 I can't take it anymore! 67 00:02:28,449 --> 00:02:29,750 Oh, you got to be kidding me. 68 00:02:29,783 --> 00:02:32,353 I've seen you clobber kids twice your size. 69 00:02:32,386 --> 00:02:35,389 Plus that thing you did to the goat at the petting zoo. 70 00:02:35,423 --> 00:02:36,590 That was scary. 71 00:02:36,624 --> 00:02:38,492 It thinks it's too good for my apple slices! 72 00:02:38,526 --> 00:02:39,793 What the hell? 73 00:02:39,827 --> 00:02:40,828 Anyway, 74 00:02:40,861 --> 00:02:42,230 this is different. 75 00:02:42,263 --> 00:02:44,865 Oh, come on. You got to be tougher than that. 76 00:02:44,898 --> 00:02:46,567 You just got to sack up and take care of business. 77 00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:47,668 It's all part of becoming a man. 78 00:02:47,701 --> 00:02:49,237 Okay! I'll go to school tomorrow 79 00:02:49,270 --> 00:02:50,271 and kick her ass! 80 00:02:50,304 --> 00:02:51,572 Boom! That's the spirit! 81 00:02:51,605 --> 00:02:53,507 Kick her a... Oh, wait, whoa. 82 00:02:53,541 --> 00:02:55,509 Her?! Sally Teel. 83 00:02:55,543 --> 00:02:56,810 I'll have a bratwurst. 84 00:02:56,844 --> 00:02:57,878 Coming right up. 85 00:02:57,911 --> 00:03:00,414 Let me just fire up the grill. 86 00:03:01,615 --> 00:03:03,417 (flames whoosh) 87 00:03:04,818 --> 00:03:06,654 RON: Oh... 88 00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:08,756 that Sally Teel. Yeah. 89 00:03:08,789 --> 00:03:09,690 She's finally back in school, 90 00:03:09,723 --> 00:03:12,426 with a big bald spot on the side of her head. 91 00:03:12,460 --> 00:03:13,761 Nothing will grow there. 92 00:03:13,794 --> 00:03:14,795 She's allergic to wigs. 93 00:03:14,828 --> 00:03:16,764 And she wants to make me pay. 94 00:03:16,797 --> 00:03:18,366 Like it's my fault or something. 95 00:03:18,399 --> 00:03:20,000 Wow, tough break. 96 00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:21,302 That's what I thought-- till you said 97 00:03:21,335 --> 00:03:22,436 it's okay to take her out. 98 00:03:23,271 --> 00:03:24,372 Good talk. 99 00:03:24,405 --> 00:03:25,406 Whoa. Whoa, whoa. 100 00:03:25,439 --> 00:03:26,407 Slow down there, Bam Bam. 101 00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:28,242 How about I go talk to her mom? 102 00:03:28,276 --> 00:03:30,511 And if that doesn't work, there's always the goat thing. 103 00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:31,845 There's always the goat thing. 104 00:03:31,879 --> 00:03:35,283 I'll keep that in mind. Come on. 105 00:03:35,316 --> 00:03:37,618 It was very thoughtful of you to come by, 106 00:03:37,651 --> 00:03:39,887 Mr. Gunderson. 107 00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:42,656 You have to understand, it's been very hard on Sally 108 00:03:42,690 --> 00:03:45,459 since the... incident. 109 00:03:45,493 --> 00:03:46,460 Well, I can imagine. 110 00:03:46,494 --> 00:03:47,361 Hm. 111 00:03:47,395 --> 00:03:49,430 Have you tried hats? 112 00:03:49,463 --> 00:03:50,898 Or you know what else, I've heard 113 00:03:50,931 --> 00:03:54,001 there have been wonderful advancements in scarf technology. 114 00:03:54,034 --> 00:03:56,337 You know, she's just not the same little girl, 115 00:03:56,370 --> 00:03:58,572 now that she's not able to compete anymore. 116 00:03:58,606 --> 00:04:00,474 Compete? Oh, you didn't know? 117 00:04:02,343 --> 00:04:05,779 (whistles) This used to be a monument to her achievements, but now 118 00:04:05,813 --> 00:04:09,049 (voice breaks): it's just a shrine to a dead dream. 119 00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:12,052 This is what your son took away from my Sally. 120 00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:13,587 Mm. 121 00:04:13,621 --> 00:04:15,323 Gosh, this is just... 122 00:04:15,356 --> 00:04:16,857 top-notch shelf work. 123 00:04:16,890 --> 00:04:18,692 What is this, maple? Her talent 124 00:04:18,726 --> 00:04:20,060 was ballroom dancing, but... 125 00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:22,330 no one wants to be her partner anymore. 126 00:04:22,363 --> 00:04:23,163 Yeah. Now she'll never 127 00:04:23,196 --> 00:04:25,666 win Junior Miss and Mister Minute Man. 128 00:04:25,699 --> 00:04:27,568 Oh, come on, her hair can't be that bad. 129 00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:28,602 She's bald! 130 00:04:28,636 --> 00:04:30,404 Oh, wow, you're... 131 00:04:30,438 --> 00:04:31,905 eyes are popping out of your skull 132 00:04:31,939 --> 00:04:33,407 a little bit right now, so... 133 00:04:33,441 --> 00:04:34,508 I think I'm gonna go 134 00:04:34,542 --> 00:04:35,676 grab some finger sandwiches on the way. 135 00:04:35,709 --> 00:04:36,844 The deviled ham was great, so... 136 00:04:36,877 --> 00:04:38,011 I'm just gonna get out of your hair. 137 00:04:38,045 --> 00:04:39,580 I'm gonna get... (clears throat) 138 00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:41,048 "out of your hair." 139 00:04:41,081 --> 00:04:43,384 It's not even the $5,000 prize that's so upsetting... 140 00:04:43,417 --> 00:04:45,986 (bell dings) it's the fact that, you know, 141 00:04:46,019 --> 00:04:47,921 she'll never get the chance... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 142 00:04:47,955 --> 00:04:49,957 Pain, loss, life-long disfigurement-- 143 00:04:49,990 --> 00:04:51,091 I know, I get it. 144 00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:52,526 Shh... 145 00:04:53,561 --> 00:04:55,062 Did you say something about $5,000? 146 00:04:55,095 --> 00:04:56,897 Well, that's the prize for each winner. 147 00:04:57,965 --> 00:04:59,099 Yeah. 148 00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:03,437 Well, I will tell you something, I am not gonna sit by idly 149 00:05:03,471 --> 00:05:06,474 and watch this injustice go on any further, okay? 150 00:05:06,507 --> 00:05:09,042 Your daughter is upset and bald! 151 00:05:09,076 --> 00:05:12,913 My son is upset-- why not kill two kids with one stone? 152 00:05:12,946 --> 00:05:14,948 Robby can be her dance partner. 153 00:05:14,982 --> 00:05:18,386 And I know for a fact that he would love to do it. 154 00:05:18,419 --> 00:05:19,553 No freaking way! 155 00:05:19,587 --> 00:05:21,655 I'm not dancing with that bald psycho! 156 00:05:21,689 --> 00:05:22,623 Come on, Robby, 157 00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:24,124 listen, I-I'm trying to teach you 158 00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:27,428 a lesson in kindness and compassion here, okay? 159 00:05:27,461 --> 00:05:30,130 I can think of at least 5,000 reasons you should do it. 160 00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:32,800 Ron's right-- and we don't want these people making trouble for us. 161 00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:35,403 Besides, dancing will change your life. 162 00:05:35,436 --> 00:05:37,371 Uh, what, you dance? 163 00:05:37,405 --> 00:05:38,672 Oh, I did. 164 00:05:38,706 --> 00:05:40,040 I took five years of jazz and tap 165 00:05:40,073 --> 00:05:42,676 at the Pizzazz Movement Arts in Morristown. 166 00:05:42,710 --> 00:05:45,779 Then the Christmas pageant of '06. 167 00:05:47,715 --> 00:05:49,683 Blew out my knee doing a leap 168 00:05:49,717 --> 00:05:52,953 in second on a patch of fake snow. 169 00:05:52,986 --> 00:05:55,823 Never did get to finish that routine. 170 00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:56,390 Mm. 171 00:05:56,424 --> 00:05:57,758 But, on the bright side, 172 00:05:57,791 --> 00:05:59,793 it got me in a gym class for two years, 173 00:05:59,827 --> 00:06:01,662 and now I can tell when it's gonna rain. 174 00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:03,464 Hm! I'm not doing this. 175 00:06:03,497 --> 00:06:04,765 I already have one bully. 176 00:06:04,798 --> 00:06:07,367 People find out I'm a dancer, I'm a dead man! 177 00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:13,607 Robby? 178 00:06:13,641 --> 00:06:14,975 ROBBY: He's not here. 179 00:06:15,008 --> 00:06:16,977 I don't care what you say, 180 00:06:17,010 --> 00:06:17,978 I don't care what you do, 181 00:06:18,011 --> 00:06:19,713 I will never, ever do it! 182 00:06:19,747 --> 00:06:21,415 Ever, ever, ever, ever...! 183 00:06:21,449 --> 00:06:23,116 What's that? 184 00:06:23,150 --> 00:06:24,685 It's exactly what you think it is. 185 00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:26,119 It's all your favorite junk foods 186 00:06:26,153 --> 00:06:29,022 crushed into a ball, then we rolled them in Gummi Worms 187 00:06:29,056 --> 00:06:30,458 and sprinkled them with all the loose candy 188 00:06:30,491 --> 00:06:31,925 you dropped between the couch cushions. 189 00:06:31,959 --> 00:06:33,927 (grunting) Not now, monkey. You want it, 190 00:06:33,961 --> 00:06:37,665 you're gonna have to come out of the closet and dance. 191 00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:44,505 You guys don't play fair. 192 00:06:44,538 --> 00:06:45,673 Mm-hmm. 193 00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:59,553 WOMAN: See a lot of new faces this year. 194 00:06:59,587 --> 00:07:02,189 Oh, jeepers creepers-- these are the kids you have to beat? 195 00:07:02,222 --> 00:07:04,157 These little freaks take this crap seriously, huh? 196 00:07:04,191 --> 00:07:05,025 Please. 197 00:07:05,058 --> 00:07:06,827 Just putting on leg warmers and Capezios 198 00:07:06,860 --> 00:07:08,061 doesn't make you a dancer. 199 00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:10,230 I'm gonna look like a total knob. No, hey, 200 00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:12,533 no, no, no, don't you worry about that, okay? 201 00:07:12,566 --> 00:07:13,601 I got your back. 202 00:07:13,634 --> 00:07:15,135 I promise that I'll absolutely 203 00:07:15,168 --> 00:07:17,638 never, ever let anything bad happen to you, okay? 204 00:07:17,671 --> 00:07:18,472 Okay. 205 00:07:18,506 --> 00:07:19,239 Okay. 206 00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:21,909 (screaming) 207 00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:23,611 I don't care that you're doing this. 208 00:07:23,644 --> 00:07:24,912 I still hate you. 209 00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:26,780 MRS. TEEL: Mm. So glad you could show up. 210 00:07:26,814 --> 00:07:28,148 You know what would be just super, 211 00:07:28,181 --> 00:07:30,951 is if we could stick to the scheduled times from now on. 212 00:07:30,984 --> 00:07:32,853 All the good power ballads have already been taken. 213 00:07:32,886 --> 00:07:34,722 Mm. I knew this was a bad idea. 214 00:07:34,755 --> 00:07:36,490 There's no way we're gonna be ready in a week. 215 00:07:36,524 --> 00:07:37,758 Oh, uh, hey, 216 00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:38,859 uh, come here. 217 00:07:38,892 --> 00:07:39,960 You got to cool it 218 00:07:39,993 --> 00:07:41,762 with all this negative energy, okay? 219 00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:42,830 That stuff is super-duper contagious, 220 00:07:42,863 --> 00:07:45,599 so just do me a favor and shut your eyes, all right? 221 00:07:45,633 --> 00:07:46,567 Shut 'em, yeah. 222 00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:48,035 Yeah, now visualize with me, 223 00:07:48,068 --> 00:07:51,739 you and I accepting giant, oversized cardboard checks 224 00:07:51,772 --> 00:07:53,774 for $5,000, okay? 225 00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:56,844 Minus my expenses and valet parking. 226 00:07:56,877 --> 00:07:58,746 But it's not about me-- this is about 227 00:07:58,779 --> 00:07:59,980 these two wonderful little children right here 228 00:08:00,013 --> 00:08:02,616 getting out there on stage and dancing their little hearts out, 229 00:08:02,650 --> 00:08:03,651 win or lose. 230 00:08:03,684 --> 00:08:05,619 But definitely not losing. 231 00:08:05,653 --> 00:08:08,989 * 232 00:08:11,692 --> 00:08:12,993 Hi, Marcia. It's Ron. 233 00:08:13,026 --> 00:08:14,862 Listen, um, I'm a little concerned. 234 00:08:14,895 --> 00:08:16,864 I have been watching some pageant videos 235 00:08:16,897 --> 00:08:19,867 and hitting up a few Web sites, and I got to say, 236 00:08:19,900 --> 00:08:22,269 it was a major, major wakeup call. 237 00:08:22,302 --> 00:08:25,005 If Robby doesn't show up with a spray-on tan, 238 00:08:25,038 --> 00:08:26,273 colored contacts and lash extensions, 239 00:08:26,306 --> 00:08:29,610 we are never gonna get those eyes to pop, all right? 240 00:08:29,643 --> 00:08:32,079 So call me back, for serious. Bye. 241 00:08:32,112 --> 00:08:33,847 People here are really cool. 242 00:08:33,881 --> 00:08:35,248 Why? What'd you do? Nothing. 243 00:08:35,282 --> 00:08:36,183 I was just talking to Bev about ice cream. 244 00:08:36,216 --> 00:08:38,586 We had a big debate about which was better, 245 00:08:38,619 --> 00:08:39,486 cookies 'n' cream or peach. 246 00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:41,655 I told her you love Here Comes the Fudge. 247 00:08:41,689 --> 00:08:43,290 Oh, no. Oh, stupid, 248 00:08:43,323 --> 00:08:45,125 stupid, stupid. Cookies 'n' cream? 249 00:08:45,158 --> 00:08:47,561 No. No, no, no, not you. It's me. 250 00:08:47,595 --> 00:08:50,263 I have been so caught up in turning Robby into a sideshow spectacle, 251 00:08:50,297 --> 00:08:52,065 I forgot that you're not the smart one. 252 00:08:52,099 --> 00:08:53,133 Come on, come with me. 253 00:08:53,166 --> 00:08:54,602 I gotta tell you something. Come on. 254 00:08:54,635 --> 00:08:56,203 You know, we have a Web site, people. 255 00:08:56,236 --> 00:08:57,671 You can buy all that stuff online. 256 00:08:57,705 --> 00:08:59,907 Come on. 257 00:08:59,940 --> 00:09:02,142 All right, let me show you something. 258 00:09:02,175 --> 00:09:03,977 Keep an eye on the door. 259 00:09:04,011 --> 00:09:05,946 What I'm about to show you, 260 00:09:05,979 --> 00:09:08,882 I have never shown another human being, okay? 261 00:09:09,850 --> 00:09:11,819 All right. 262 00:09:11,852 --> 00:09:16,790 I live my life at Sport Space on the razor's edge. 263 00:09:16,824 --> 00:09:17,858 This... 264 00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:19,126 is a lie-a-gram, okay? 265 00:09:19,159 --> 00:09:20,127 Now, pay close attention, 266 00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:21,328 because my continued existence 267 00:09:21,361 --> 00:09:23,664 and employee discount depend on it. You ready? 268 00:09:23,697 --> 00:09:24,698 Yeah. 269 00:09:24,732 --> 00:09:26,333 Here we go. 270 00:09:26,366 --> 00:09:27,868 Bev... 271 00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:30,604 thinks that I have diabetes. Wait. What?! 272 00:09:30,638 --> 00:09:32,806 I ate her Creamsicle out of the employee fridge one day, 273 00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:34,608 and when she accused me of doing it, I told her 274 00:09:34,642 --> 00:09:36,343 it couldn't possibly be me because I'm a diabetic, see? 275 00:09:36,376 --> 00:09:37,711 Yeah, I guess. 276 00:09:37,745 --> 00:09:39,780 Okay. Now, Pete was also there 277 00:09:39,813 --> 00:09:41,381 for that lie, so he's in Bev's circle. 278 00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:43,984 But he's also in the circle that believes that I am 279 00:09:44,017 --> 00:09:45,953 an alternate for the Olympic archery team, okay? 280 00:09:45,986 --> 00:09:47,788 I didn't want to take a shift. 281 00:09:47,821 --> 00:09:48,989 Then there's Shawn-- he thinks 282 00:09:49,022 --> 00:09:51,625 I am dyslexic because I didn't want 283 00:09:51,659 --> 00:09:54,061 to get quizzed on the employee manual, for obvious reasons. 284 00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:55,996 But there's no way that Pete would ever believe that lie 285 00:09:56,029 --> 00:09:57,665 because we talk about comic books together. 286 00:09:57,698 --> 00:10:00,167 That's why the dyslexic point is well outside of Pete's circle. 287 00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:01,669 Since Shawn is here all the time, 288 00:10:01,702 --> 00:10:02,703 I had to sell him on all of these. 289 00:10:02,736 --> 00:10:06,106 So he thinks that I'm a dyslexic, diabetic archer. 290 00:10:07,374 --> 00:10:08,909 Oh, then there's Jim-- 291 00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:11,745 he thinks I'm a Mormon, for no specific reason. Yet. 292 00:10:11,779 --> 00:10:14,181 It's just nice to have options. Yeah. 293 00:10:14,214 --> 00:10:17,117 * 294 00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:18,952 (sighs) All right, children, 295 00:10:18,986 --> 00:10:19,987 starting positions... 296 00:10:20,020 --> 00:10:23,791 And, uh-one, two, three, four... 297 00:10:23,824 --> 00:10:24,858 (Robby grunting) 298 00:10:24,892 --> 00:10:25,959 She's sticking her nails into me! 299 00:10:25,993 --> 00:10:26,994 SALLY: It was an accident. 300 00:10:27,027 --> 00:10:28,962 Like when you exploded my head. 301 00:10:28,996 --> 00:10:29,997 All right, could we focus, please? 302 00:10:30,030 --> 00:10:31,665 RON: Ah, there's my guys! 303 00:10:31,699 --> 00:10:32,933 Lookin' good, lookin' good! 304 00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:35,102 You two, not so much. Anyway, hey, look, 305 00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:37,404 I got the tux and gown you asked for, okay? 306 00:10:37,437 --> 00:10:39,306 But I picked up a few other options on the way, 307 00:10:39,339 --> 00:10:41,441 so just hear me out: Pirate and wench. 308 00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:42,876 Could be interesting, right? 309 00:10:42,910 --> 00:10:45,345 Or... the bumble bee and flower look. 310 00:10:45,378 --> 00:10:47,114 You think that's a little too cutesy? Too cutesy. 311 00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:49,149 Maybe. I thought that, but... MRS. TEEL: I was thinking... 312 00:10:49,182 --> 00:10:50,684 Hey, where are you guys going? 313 00:10:50,718 --> 00:10:53,921 You have a chance for glory that may never come again. 314 00:10:53,954 --> 00:10:56,023 Before you know it, you'll be ten or 11, 315 00:10:56,056 --> 00:10:57,691 looking back on what you might've been... 316 00:10:57,725 --> 00:10:59,893 Uh, Gary...? ...an incredible... 317 00:10:59,927 --> 00:11:01,895 Uh, sorry, sorry. Starting positions. 318 00:11:01,929 --> 00:11:04,431 Come on. One, two, three, four... 319 00:11:04,464 --> 00:11:06,734 One, two... step by step... 320 00:11:06,767 --> 00:11:08,468 ...two, three, step. Front, back... 321 00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:09,469 And turn and dip 322 00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:12,205 and swoop 323 00:11:12,239 --> 00:11:13,140 and mean it. 324 00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:15,342 It's 2:00 in the morning, Gary. 325 00:11:15,375 --> 00:11:17,010 My feet are bleeding. 326 00:11:17,210 --> 00:11:18,278 How dare you. 327 00:11:18,311 --> 00:11:20,480 I wish my feet were bleeding. 328 00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:23,450 The damn things are as soft and uncalloused as a baby's ass. 329 00:11:23,483 --> 00:11:25,886 (whining): I want to go to sleep. 330 00:11:25,919 --> 00:11:28,088 Baryshnikov didn't sleep for eight years. 331 00:11:28,121 --> 00:11:31,358 He just took little catnaps during his incredible leaps. 332 00:11:31,391 --> 00:11:33,093 But I'm so tired. 333 00:11:33,126 --> 00:11:35,195 Well, then eat more candy ball. 334 00:11:35,228 --> 00:11:36,797 What is going on? 335 00:11:36,830 --> 00:11:38,465 Ron, tell Gary I have to go to sleep. 336 00:11:38,498 --> 00:11:40,167 Your brother's right. 337 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,169 Two more hours, then some core work 338 00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:44,504 then straight to bed for both of you, okay? 339 00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:45,773 GARY: You heard him. 340 00:11:45,806 --> 00:11:47,340 And one, two, three, step. 341 00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:50,077 Front, back-- a little faster-- front, back... 342 00:11:50,110 --> 00:11:53,881 * 343 00:11:53,914 --> 00:11:55,148 Did you see Janine Tate? 344 00:11:55,182 --> 00:11:57,050 She must have put on two pounds. 345 00:11:57,084 --> 00:11:58,986 And what about Jeremy Walton? 346 00:11:59,019 --> 00:12:01,221 If those aren't calf implants, I'll eat my hat. 347 00:12:01,254 --> 00:12:03,256 Ugh, look at Randall. 348 00:12:03,290 --> 00:12:04,758 Face like a hamster. 349 00:12:04,792 --> 00:12:06,226 It's like, grow a chin, right? 350 00:12:06,259 --> 00:12:08,095 Look, Marcia, I know that Phyllis was just trying 351 00:12:08,128 --> 00:12:09,262 to psych us out at lunch today, 352 00:12:09,296 --> 00:12:13,100 but it got me thinking, and we really got to ask ourselves, 353 00:12:13,133 --> 00:12:15,869 are these kids as committed to the dream as we are? 354 00:12:15,903 --> 00:12:19,006 Because I'm not sure-- I'm really not. 355 00:12:19,039 --> 00:12:20,140 Oop-- Robby's here. 356 00:12:20,173 --> 00:12:21,474 Gotta go. Kisses. 357 00:12:21,508 --> 00:12:23,076 You broke your promise. 358 00:12:23,110 --> 00:12:25,112 You said you had my back, 359 00:12:25,145 --> 00:12:27,180 and you wouldn't let anything bad happen to me. 360 00:12:27,214 --> 00:12:29,249 But Sally's still torturing me, Gary's driving me crazy! 361 00:12:29,282 --> 00:12:30,984 Whoa! Okay, slow down. 362 00:12:31,018 --> 00:12:35,088 Oh, boy, Marcia warned me this would happen. 363 00:12:35,122 --> 00:12:37,257 It's a classic day four tiara tantrum. 364 00:12:37,290 --> 00:12:38,926 But don't you worry, little man, 365 00:12:38,959 --> 00:12:41,962 I have got just the cure. 366 00:12:44,231 --> 00:12:45,799 Well, I am just over the moon 367 00:12:45,833 --> 00:12:47,067 that we went with the pirate outfit. 368 00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:49,369 I think it totally justifies the tan. 369 00:12:49,402 --> 00:12:50,137 Elegant choice. Mm-hmm. 370 00:12:50,170 --> 00:12:51,171 Oh, boy, 371 00:12:51,204 --> 00:12:53,440 we are going to have to pad that tush 372 00:12:53,473 --> 00:12:56,109 to give it a little oomph. 373 00:12:57,845 --> 00:12:59,246 So what you up to this weekend, Randy? 374 00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:01,148 Doing anything fun with the family? 375 00:13:01,181 --> 00:13:02,149 Yeah. 376 00:13:02,182 --> 00:13:03,250 Well, Dad's got his archery. 377 00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:05,585 You know, he's trying to cut two seconds off his time. 378 00:13:05,618 --> 00:13:07,054 He still doing that? 379 00:13:07,087 --> 00:13:08,321 You know, I'd love to come watch sometime. 380 00:13:08,355 --> 00:13:11,191 Oh, well-- you can't. 381 00:13:11,224 --> 00:13:12,960 Because he's bad at giving directions. 382 00:13:12,993 --> 00:13:14,294 You know, the dyslexia. 383 00:13:14,327 --> 00:13:15,162 Ron's dyslexic? 384 00:13:15,195 --> 00:13:16,229 Worse case I've ever seen. 385 00:13:16,263 --> 00:13:17,530 He can't even take oral tests. 386 00:13:17,564 --> 00:13:18,565 Dyslexic? 387 00:13:18,598 --> 00:13:21,835 But Ron told me he was a reader at the tabernacle. 388 00:13:21,869 --> 00:13:23,536 Ron's Mormon? How come he took Hanukkah off last year? 389 00:13:23,570 --> 00:13:25,438 Wait, I don't see how he can be dyslexic and still be... 390 00:13:25,472 --> 00:13:27,207 He's only part-time dyslexic. 391 00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:29,342 He can read on Sundays. But just comic books. 392 00:13:29,376 --> 00:13:32,880 He's also half Jewish, which is why he took up archery. 393 00:13:32,913 --> 00:13:34,181 And he can't eat Creamsicles. 394 00:13:34,214 --> 00:13:35,883 I swear, he can't eat Creamsicles! 395 00:13:35,916 --> 00:13:36,917 Look, I don't know! 396 00:13:36,950 --> 00:13:39,119 I don't know! 397 00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:42,289 Huh. Something about that story just does not add up. 398 00:13:51,231 --> 00:13:53,533 Ten minutes, people. Ten minutes to curtain. 399 00:13:53,566 --> 00:13:55,268 Suck it in, honey. This is it. 400 00:13:55,302 --> 00:13:57,404 Okay, I need my eight-year-olds warming up. 401 00:13:57,437 --> 00:13:59,239 You're on in ten. 402 00:13:59,272 --> 00:14:01,875 Okay, Robby, come on, hurry up in there. Just poop it out. 403 00:14:01,909 --> 00:14:03,977 God, don't tell me you let him eat today? 404 00:14:04,011 --> 00:14:05,913 Oh, no. I think it's just the excitement 405 00:14:05,946 --> 00:14:07,280 of the competition, you know. 406 00:14:07,314 --> 00:14:09,149 There's Charlotte and Martin. 407 00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:10,383 They're the team to beat. 408 00:14:10,417 --> 00:14:14,287 It would be a shame if something were to happen to one of them. 409 00:14:14,321 --> 00:14:15,923 RON: That would be a shame. 410 00:14:17,257 --> 00:14:20,460 You know, she's, um, highly allergic to wheat. 411 00:14:20,493 --> 00:14:22,662 Blows up like a balloon on contact. 412 00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:24,965 Huh. I'm allergic to bees. 413 00:14:24,998 --> 00:14:27,467 I mean, I've never been stung by one, but... No, what I'm saying is, 414 00:14:27,500 --> 00:14:30,203 if she were to accidentally, you know, eat something with wheat in it, 415 00:14:30,237 --> 00:14:32,472 she probably wouldn't be able to dance. 416 00:14:32,505 --> 00:14:35,408 Same thing with the bees. If I got stung by one... Idiot! 417 00:14:35,442 --> 00:14:36,576 Give her some wheat. 418 00:14:36,609 --> 00:14:38,878 Put some of this in her water. 419 00:14:41,248 --> 00:14:44,351 Oh. But-But then she... 420 00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:45,485 Oh! 421 00:15:01,201 --> 00:15:03,470 Oh! Oh! Ahoy, Robby, hey. 422 00:15:03,503 --> 00:15:05,538 What are you doing? 423 00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:07,674 What, me? Nothing, nothing. Just, uh... 424 00:15:07,707 --> 00:15:10,177 You're poisoning them so I'll win, aren't you? 425 00:15:10,210 --> 00:15:11,544 Look, I... 426 00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:13,646 That's awesome. I was totally wrong about you. 427 00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:16,383 You had my back all along. 428 00:15:19,352 --> 00:15:20,988 Oh, whoa. 429 00:15:21,021 --> 00:15:23,190 What am I doing? 430 00:15:23,223 --> 00:15:24,992 This is all wrong. This-this is all wrong. 431 00:15:25,025 --> 00:15:27,427 You don't have to get it perfect. 432 00:15:27,460 --> 00:15:28,695 Poison is poison. 433 00:15:28,728 --> 00:15:29,963 No, no, no, no. 434 00:15:29,997 --> 00:15:31,431 I mean, what-what am I doing? 435 00:15:31,464 --> 00:15:33,533 What-What is the lesson I'm teaching you here? 436 00:15:33,566 --> 00:15:36,703 Robby... I'm going to tell you something. 437 00:15:36,736 --> 00:15:40,007 And I mean this from the bottom of my heart, okay? 438 00:15:42,509 --> 00:15:43,977 You look like a tool. 439 00:15:44,011 --> 00:15:45,745 I knew it. So does that mean...? 440 00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:47,280 Yes. 441 00:15:48,315 --> 00:15:50,583 No more junk in the trunk. 442 00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:51,985 (relieved sigh) 443 00:15:52,019 --> 00:15:54,554 * 444 00:15:56,289 --> 00:15:57,490 Robby's out. 445 00:15:57,524 --> 00:15:58,325 He's not doing it. 446 00:15:58,358 --> 00:16:00,027 What?! What are you talking about?! 447 00:16:00,060 --> 00:16:00,994 He can't back out now! 448 00:16:01,028 --> 00:16:02,395 I'm sorry. I was trying to cash 449 00:16:02,429 --> 00:16:04,331 a giant cardboard check that wasn't mine to endorse. 450 00:16:04,364 --> 00:16:06,299 No one should ever have to do something 451 00:16:06,333 --> 00:16:07,734 that makes them miserable. 452 00:16:08,668 --> 00:16:10,270 See you on the playground. 453 00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:11,171 What-wha-- okay, 454 00:16:11,204 --> 00:16:13,040 they're supposed to be on in two minutes. 455 00:16:13,073 --> 00:16:14,241 What am I supposed to do? 456 00:16:14,274 --> 00:16:15,408 Uh... 457 00:16:15,442 --> 00:16:16,543 I'll do it. 458 00:16:16,576 --> 00:16:18,011 I'll dance with her. 459 00:16:18,045 --> 00:16:19,079 What? That's crazy. 460 00:16:19,112 --> 00:16:21,014 Is it? I know all the moves. 461 00:16:21,048 --> 00:16:23,016 I'm a much better dancer than Robby will ever be. 462 00:16:23,050 --> 00:16:24,717 No offense. None taken. 463 00:16:24,751 --> 00:16:26,319 Whoa, whoa, whoa, Gary, wait. 464 00:16:26,353 --> 00:16:28,288 What about your knee? 465 00:16:28,321 --> 00:16:29,756 It's not gonna rain. 466 00:16:29,789 --> 00:16:32,225 Not today. What...? 467 00:16:32,259 --> 00:16:32,859 Hey, Gary... 468 00:16:32,892 --> 00:16:36,129 Ron! Ron... we gotta talk. 469 00:16:36,163 --> 00:16:37,664 Look, I messed up. It's the Lie-a-gram. 470 00:16:37,697 --> 00:16:39,532 I blew your cover, blew it all to hell. 471 00:16:39,566 --> 00:16:40,533 Whoa, whoa, all of it? 472 00:16:40,567 --> 00:16:42,169 Even the Mormon thing? 473 00:16:42,202 --> 00:16:43,436 Damn it, Brandon, that was my escape hatch. 474 00:16:43,470 --> 00:16:44,171 I'm so sorry. 475 00:16:44,204 --> 00:16:45,538 I will help you find another job. 476 00:16:45,572 --> 00:16:46,706 Another job? 477 00:16:46,739 --> 00:16:49,809 Do you have any idea how many years it took me to build up 478 00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:51,244 that foundation of undeserved respect and pity? 479 00:16:51,278 --> 00:16:54,314 I can't deal with this right now. Wait, wait. 480 00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:57,417 MAN (over P.A.): And now, competing in the Super Juniors category, 481 00:16:57,450 --> 00:16:59,219 the contemporary stylings of Mr. Robby Gunderson... 482 00:16:59,252 --> 00:17:01,554 Don't worry, we're going to do great. 483 00:17:01,588 --> 00:17:03,756 Just remember to keep your shoulders back on those turns... 484 00:17:03,790 --> 00:17:05,625 Your crazy dad was right. What? 485 00:17:05,658 --> 00:17:08,528 No one should have to do something that makes them miserable. 486 00:17:08,561 --> 00:17:11,364 Wait! You can't just leave me. 487 00:17:11,398 --> 00:17:13,633 Gary, get off the stage! 488 00:17:21,674 --> 00:17:23,476 * Oh... 489 00:17:35,622 --> 00:17:37,590 * 490 00:17:45,498 --> 00:17:48,135 No, not the leap in second, you crazy bastard... 491 00:17:48,168 --> 00:17:49,669 It's Christmas '06 all over again. 492 00:17:59,812 --> 00:18:03,150 (crack, Gary groans) 493 00:18:03,183 --> 00:18:04,817 (all groaning) 494 00:18:04,851 --> 00:18:06,319 Oh, not again. 495 00:18:07,387 --> 00:18:08,321 I think he's injured. 496 00:18:08,355 --> 00:18:09,489 Cut the music. No! 497 00:18:09,522 --> 00:18:12,759 That's not an injury... it's my cue. 498 00:18:12,792 --> 00:18:16,563 * 499 00:18:26,173 --> 00:18:26,806 What should I do? 500 00:18:26,839 --> 00:18:27,474 Pop the knee. 501 00:18:27,507 --> 00:18:29,609 Are you sure? Pop the knee! 502 00:18:32,245 --> 00:18:33,446 (loud crack) 503 00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:34,781 Ow! Other knee. 504 00:18:34,814 --> 00:18:36,683 Sorry. 505 00:18:36,716 --> 00:18:37,850 (pop, groaning) 506 00:18:37,884 --> 00:18:39,852 Ron, help me up. I can do this on my own. 507 00:18:39,886 --> 00:18:40,720 What about your knees? 508 00:18:40,753 --> 00:18:43,223 This-- This is my knees now. 509 00:18:43,256 --> 00:18:44,591 Good man. 510 00:18:47,927 --> 00:18:50,763 * 511 00:19:03,310 --> 00:19:04,911 Yeah! 512 00:19:08,548 --> 00:19:10,350 WOMAN: He's not eight! 513 00:19:10,383 --> 00:19:11,651 MAN: He's a ringer! 514 00:19:11,684 --> 00:19:13,886 MAN 2: Cheater! (all booing) 515 00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:15,788 You suck! 516 00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:18,958 Can you hear them? 517 00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:21,361 Can you hear the applause and the trumpets? 518 00:19:21,394 --> 00:19:24,397 (cheers and applause echoing) 519 00:19:26,366 --> 00:19:28,801 (audience booing) Wherever you are right now, Gary, 520 00:19:28,835 --> 00:19:29,836 just stay there. 521 00:19:29,869 --> 00:19:31,771 (booing continues) 522 00:19:40,813 --> 00:19:41,914 Damn it, Ron, be careful. 523 00:19:41,948 --> 00:19:43,783 Oh, I liked you so much better when you were delirious. 524 00:19:43,816 --> 00:19:45,852 Let's just get the heck out of here before we run into... 525 00:19:45,885 --> 00:19:46,886 Hey. You! 526 00:19:46,919 --> 00:19:48,421 There she is. 527 00:19:48,455 --> 00:19:49,689 There's the woman I was looking for. 528 00:19:49,722 --> 00:19:52,425 So listen, no rush getting the wench costume back to me, okay? 529 00:19:52,459 --> 00:19:53,593 And on the off chance 530 00:19:53,626 --> 00:19:54,994 that we actually might have won this thing, 531 00:19:55,027 --> 00:19:56,696 the cut's now 70-30. That's more than generous. 532 00:19:56,729 --> 00:19:58,331 Gary did all the work. 533 00:19:58,365 --> 00:20:01,634 You and your horrible family stay the hell away from us 534 00:20:01,668 --> 00:20:04,003 before you do anymore damage to my Sally! Get it?! 535 00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:05,705 Okay. 536 00:20:05,738 --> 00:20:06,839 (cheering) Thank you, thank you. 537 00:20:06,873 --> 00:20:07,940 Excuse me, guys. 538 00:20:09,676 --> 00:20:11,878 (thudding crack) Oh! Oh, my knee! RON: Oh, shut up! 539 00:20:11,911 --> 00:20:14,981 * 540 00:20:22,755 --> 00:20:24,757 Oh, what are you doing? 541 00:20:24,791 --> 00:20:28,528 I'm quitting. I screwed everything up for you. 542 00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:29,496 No, you didn't. 543 00:20:29,529 --> 00:20:30,963 You didn't, all right? 544 00:20:30,997 --> 00:20:31,798 Stop, stop. Listen to me. 545 00:20:31,831 --> 00:20:34,301 Just like Robby can't dance like Gary, 546 00:20:34,334 --> 00:20:35,735 you can't lie like me, okay? 547 00:20:35,768 --> 00:20:37,604 I'm the Gregory Hines of lying. 548 00:20:37,637 --> 00:20:39,272 I've won awards for it. 549 00:20:39,306 --> 00:20:40,607 Really? No. 550 00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:42,775 You are good. I know. 551 00:20:42,809 --> 00:20:44,577 Ever since I got hit by a car as a child, 552 00:20:44,611 --> 00:20:45,645 I've this incredible capacity. 553 00:20:45,678 --> 00:20:47,314 Really? I could do this all day. 554 00:20:47,347 --> 00:20:49,882 (chuckles) The point is, I found us a way out. 555 00:20:49,916 --> 00:20:52,819 I didn't need to prove that I was telling the truth. 556 00:20:52,852 --> 00:20:56,255 I only needed to prove that you never did... hmm? 557 00:21:00,460 --> 00:21:02,395 Boom. That's right-- 558 00:21:02,429 --> 00:21:03,663 I told everybody you're schizophrenic. 559 00:21:03,696 --> 00:21:05,598 Have been since the day you were born. 560 00:21:05,632 --> 00:21:09,302 I don't know, Ron-- how am I going to pull that off? Don't worry about it. 561 00:21:09,336 --> 00:21:11,938 You also have a history of violent outbursts, all right? 562 00:21:11,971 --> 00:21:13,473 Nobody's going to pry. 563 00:21:13,506 --> 00:21:16,643 Congratulations. Your first lie circle. 564 00:21:16,676 --> 00:21:18,945 This is the coolest thing anyone's ever done for me. 565 00:21:18,978 --> 00:21:20,313 Really? No. 566 00:21:20,347 --> 00:21:22,449 Nice. I did not see that coming. 567 00:21:22,482 --> 00:21:25,017 You didn't? Of course I did. 40588

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