Original subtitles

- Previously on All Stars...

For this week's Maxi Challenge,

we are staging the world premiere

The Unauthorized Rusical."

- I really love "No More Wire Hangers."

I don't have another option, so.

- What do you mean you don't have another option?

You don't just get to say this is mine,

and I don't have another option.

- That's the one I want.

- All right, Kandy, this is your time.

Come on.

Jaymes is doing what Jaymes does best.

I feel like she is a dark horse this week.

I see you, bitch.

- Thinking so much about the choreography,

your face was lacking that presence that I needed.

- I could see you struggling with dance moves.

Not an A-plus, but right under that.

- Kahanna Montrese, Jaymes Mansfield.

I'm sorry, my dears, but you are the bottom

All Stars of the week.

Kandy Muse.

Condragulations, you are the top All Star of the week.

It's time to present this week's Lip Sync Assassin.

Kandy Muse, you're a winner, baby.

You've earned a cash tip of $30,000.

Which queen have you chosen to get the chop?

- Jaymes.

- Jaymes Mansfield, you're leaving us tonight,

but the Fame Games have just begun.

Now sashay away.

- I did better than last time.

- Huzzah.

- What the hell?

- We made it.

- Baby!

Now that I won my first challenge,

I feel like a true contender for this crown.

Also, I won $30,000.

That's a lot of chicken tenders.

Extra ranch on the side. Thank you.

LaLa.

- She's still carrying.

Still carrying.

- I'm having my moment, okay, bitch?

- I shit in one of your spots.

Good luck.

She did say she would do that.

- Bitch, it better not be my spot.

- PS, love you all, heart, Jaymes Mansfield.

- Aw, Jaymes.

- We're gonna miss you, Jaymes.

- And most importantly, I look fucking stunning.

Let's go to the couch, bitch.

Girl, you there.

- Take a load off.

My goodness.

Top six.

Are those your teeth?

- I was just looking at them in "Untucked."

I'm like, they look better than mine, and I got mine done.

- Who did yours? I need to get mine done.

- I got you all the connects.

- Maybe Kandy will get us all new teeth.

- We can get all you teeth after we

count these damn votes.

- Okay, let's go ahead and get into it.

- Thank you.

- You know, I can never open this damn thing.

- Here, let me help you. - Yeah, thank you.

- All right.

- One for Jaymes.

Two for Jaymes.

Three for Jaymes.

Four for Jaymes.

Five for Jaymes.

- Did Jaymes vote for herself?

- One for Kahanna.

All for Jaymes.

- So how does that feel, sis?

- Wow.

Thank you.

- It was a very difficult decision,

but I'm happy that you are here.

- You have a win, and Jaymes didn't.

So it's kind of how you wanna measure it.

- I personally never voted based on track record.

I ain't gonna lie.

I just vote however I feel that day, bitch.

If I don't want this bitch to be here, you can go.

- Yes.

- Out of here!

- But don't get it twisted.

Jaymes was a fierce fucking competitor, bitch.

- Sickening.

- I know how hard that had to be for all

of y'all, so this means a lot.

I really do appreciate my sisters' support.

But them bottoms are getting to me.

And it's just hard to really shake it off.

- Forget about the past.

This is a new beginning. - Yes, God.

- I'm just so happy that, bitch, we're top six.

- Top six.

- Everybody has a win but me and Alexis, I think.

- Shit. - Girl, it's time to pop.

- I'm so sick of seeing y'all hos

take my money away from me on that goddamn lip sync, child.

- We're down to the top six.

- Someone help Jimbo.

- This is the point where the wheels fall off

and it's hard to vote based on track record.

As the competition goes on and things become a little bit

more tangled, I feel like the only way to stay safe

is to win.

Bitch.

- Clean yourself up.

What a mess.

The winner of "RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars"

receives a one-year supply

of Anastasia Beverly Hills cosmetics,

a coveted spot in the "Drag Race" Hall of Fame,

and a cash prize of $200,000.

With extra special guest judge Javicia Leslie.

- One.

- Two.

- Three.

- Four.

Five.

- 796.

Baby, we have made it another week.

- LaLa. - My God.

- I ain't gonna lie to you, I wanted to win the Rusical,

and I didn't.

So now I'm definitely about to fight for this next win,

because I got a fire lit inside of me

that's it's like...

It's just anger.

Like, about to pull out weaves

and put on the Vaseline on the face.

Top six!

- In the hood, the girls put on the Vaseline on their face

so when the girls try to claw at their face,

it just slides right off.

- Bitch, this table is so empty.

- Right? - I know. It feels crazy.

We finally all have room.

- Ooh, girl!

- She done already done had herses.

Hey, All Stars.

- Hi, Ru.

- Ever been caught red handed?

Remember, the surveillance camera adds ten pounds.

And if you're not careful, it can get you 30 to life.

Word of advice, lawyer up.

- What the hell?

- We're going shoplifting.

- Hello, hello, hello.

- Sporty.

- All Stars, do you swear to spill the tea,

the whole tea, and nothing but the tea?

- I do.

Good.

Because for this week's Maxi Challenge,

you need to use your charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent

to improv your way through the new Ru crime series,

"Forensic Queens."

That's right. Get out your luminol.

Tonight's episode,

"Wha-Ha-Happened to Lil' Poundcake?"

- You remember Lil' Poundcake? - Yeah.

- Lil' Poundcake.

Her catchphrase is, "You're not my real dad,

and you never will be."

- #AllStars8.

You'll play detectives, suspects, eyewitnesses,

and things of that nature.

Now, I'll give you time to review the case files

so you can pick your parts, develop your characters,

and prepare to deliver the drama, mama.

You'll be acting without a script

because this challenge is all about creating

funny characters and improvving your padded asses off.

All Stars, start your engines,

and may the best drag queen win.

- All right.

- "Forensic Queens."

"What-Ha-Happened to Lil' Poundcake."

I love true crime television.

And improv is one of my strong suits,

so this is something I can excel at.

"On the set of this unaired season of 'All Stars, '

everyone on the set is a suspect."

- "The cast:

"Imma Foxx, a conceited pageant queen, cutthroat,

would do anything to win."

- "Detective Anita Klew.

Loves solving crimes, but more concerned with being famous."

- "Forensic Examiner Eva Dentz.

She's a specialist in finding the clues no one else sees."

- "District Attorney Effie Lee Bailey.

Salty, no-nonsense seasoned lawyer."

- "Security Guard Shari Coleman.

"She has a questionable past.

Also uses the word eloguent to describe things she likes."

- "Ura Dragg.

"She found out Lil' Poundcake

"was sleeping with her boyfriend.

"She's still upset by the betrayal

of Lil' Poundcake and her boyfriend."

- For this challenge, we have a synopsis

of the characters and the case,

but ultimately, this is an improv challenge,

so it's very important to find a character

that I can really make myself laugh with

and be silly and let it all hang out

and just make shit up.

- I do like Detective Anita Klew.

She's nosy.

Typecasting.

- I could do the examiner.

- That could be funny for you.

- That sounds like you.

- Great.

Kahanna, what do you wanna do?

- I mean...

- Is there anything that you gravitate towards

that's speaking to you?

- Not really.

I'm just jumping for joy.

Can you tell?

I'm literally shaking in my boots

because I have been struggling

in these acting challenges all season.

And here we go again.

Fun.

- Well, there's Imma Foxx,

who's a conceited pageant queen.

- For me it's like, Imma Foxx or Ura Dragg.

- Yeah, I like Imma Foxx or Ura Dragg.

I like Ura Dragg more, but...

- Okay. Then I'll do Imma Foxx.

- Okay.

Child.

- I wanna do the security guard.

- I like the security guard as well.

I love the security guard, Shari Coleman.

- Is there anybody else you'd consider, LaLa?

- Like, nothing really stands out to me

other than the security guard.

- Yeah.

It sounds really funny.

- I can do so much with this character

'cause I know this character.

She's a drunk auntie. She lies a lot.

She can't say a lot of words the correct way.

I'm gonna keep Miss Coleman, period.

- So now what?

- I would do the detective if LaLa's not willing

to consider anything else.

- I like the detective.

- What about the district attorney, Kandy?

- I feel like, Kandy, there's not a huge difference

in the detective and the district attorney.

- So then do the district attorney.

- So maybe you could let that one go.

- No. What the hell?

If there wasn't a difference, you would do it.

But there is a difference.

- I don't understand why, like,

you should get your first choice.

Like, how come I don't get my first choice

and say this is what I'm doing? - I said this is what I like.

I never said this is what I'm doing.

- So did I.

- You just said the detective and the district attorney

are not that different.

So you're trying to throw that on me.

If they're not that different, then you do it.

Did you or did you not?

I don't like the passive aggressiveness,

and you have a lot of that.

- There's nothing passive aggressive.

- There are ways to get a role if more people want it.

We don't have to sit here and try to say,

the two roles aren't that different, so you can take it.

That's not how that works.

Don't try to trick me into getting a role

that I don't want.

- I don't appreciate, like, some of the attitudes

in this room right now.

I let LaLa have the role she wanted

because I'm being a good team player.

And Kandy's unwillingness to budge

or even consider taking another part,

it's just really immature.

But I don't want to get into a fight over this decision.

So I'll be the bigger person yet again.

- So how do we settle this?

- I'll do the DA. Done.

I'll do it.

We figured it out.

My God.

My God. Don't. Don't worry. Don't worry.

It's early in the day.

Don't worry. Don't worry.

My God.

I can't with the dramatics.

I cannot. I cannot with the dramatics.

I can't. Enough.

Who died?

Like, we're gonna cry because we didn't

get the role we wanted? Come on.

Girl, it's like emotional blackmail.

But this role is mine.

I'm not gonna give it up.

I've had it with the bullshit in here.

The dramatics, the crying, I can't anymore.

Just really... just cry.

Just cry.

- The pressures of this competition are real.

And as a very sensitive and emotional person,

sometimes I question if a competition setting

is really a place for me.

- I came to this competition to focus on me, and win $200,000,

and win a crown.

- All right, I'm gonna get some air.

I'll be right back. - You just need air.

You just need to reset.

- I'll be right back. - And just come back.

- Yeah, go. - Okay.

- I'm feeling like, what the fuck?

My God. Crazy.

- I know.

- Happy, happy in your heart.

Happy, happy in your heart.

Happy, happy in your heart.

- Thank you.

- I'm sorry, but I'm feeling like this

is really taking from my spirit, and I don't like it.

This energy ain't it for me.

And it's another acting challenge.

Like, how am I gonna be better this time?

Yeah, they're gonna have to find somebody else

to play Miss Imma Foxx, 'cause I'm good.

- What do you mean?

- I'm done.

- Like, you're...

- Yes, I wanna go home.

I wanna go home.

- What is going on here?

- Kandy.

- I'm going home. - Are you sure?

- I'm positive.

I just cannot have another bad week.

And that's why I just, like, wanna remove myself

before I get hurt.

- What happened? - What's she doing now?

- She's packing her stuff. - No.

- Yeah. - She's what?

- She's packing. - No, she's not.

- Yes, she is.

- This is a shemergency.

- How can we do this?

- Getting ready for this challenge is already crazy.

But all this drama...

- Can I have a margarita now?

I just wanna be a drag queen that has fun, honey,

and just live my best life, Lord.

All right, ladies.

- Who knew that she was watching us the whole time?

- We gon' gather round.

We are gathered around.

Come on. Come on. Where are we gonna be?

Right here?

Right here.

Mama is here to straighten shit out.

- They got Mama Ru on her break up in here, baby.

Lord have mercy, what have we done?

- We gonna have to talk, ladies.

I just wanna set you straight before you make any mistakes

that you can't undo.

You're having all these feelings.

Of course you're gonna have these feelings.

You're under a lot of pressure.

But feelings are not facts.

You have emotions going,

yeah, I'm feeling some kind of way.

But I'm gonna do this thing because I'm a professional.

I'm a professional.

Don't let your feelings

sabotage your experience in this life.

Do not.

This is the greatest stage in the world for you

to present your act on.

Do not allow the little things to derail your bigger picture.

Ooh, she's gonna preach this evening.

- Let the church say amen. - Amen.

- You know, it's sometimes hard to look at the bigger picture

when you're in this situation, because there's

so many emotions happening.

But just because you have one emotional day

doesn't mean that you have to throw this opportunity away.

- Yeah, that's right. That's right.

You know how many bitches can't get a job?

You know how many bitches work for years in this business,

in this game, never had recognition?

Don't walk away from it.

So Kahanna, you feel like you're ready

to pack your shit and go?

- No. No, I'm here for you.

I'm here for me.

- You here for you. That's right.

That's right.

That's the right answer.

And you're an emotional child.

You've been crying this whole competition.

We are all sensitive children. I know your stories.

If she got a little bit of little some extra in her walk,

she's a sensitive child.

I get it. It's fine.

But you have survived this far.

Don't let your feelings sabotage your bigger picture.

You know, you're building your empires here.

You wanna be on top of the world.

You wanna do it all.

And also I'm gonna add to that, have fun.

This is a fun experience.

It's fun. Okay, good.

- We had a rough morning.

It was a little embarrassing for me

that Mama Ru had to come in to put her children together.

- Wow, RuPaul really let us have it.

- But it was necessary, because she brought us here

because we are special.

And we can't forget that.

- So now we have to look at this.

- And now we can move forward and focus

on the disappearance of Lil' Poundcake.

And don't fuck it up.

- Who are you? - I'm the security guard.

- Bitch, I think you can make that fun.

- Exactly.

Like just over the top.

She got big titties.

I have a lot of scenes in here.

I literally feel like I'm in every scene.

- That's good. - Yeah, because I have to...

- The more scenes you're in, the more you can make a mark.

- Yeah.

- Or fuck up. - Right.

I need to win this week.

I've been so close to winning, so I gotta win.

Like, it's very important for me to win.

And I gotta win. I'ma keep saying that.

I gotta win. I need to win.

Okay? I wanna win.

I gotta win. I need to win.

Stop playing with me.

Y'all hos better watch out, because I gotta win.

- How are you guys doing?

- I have a question for you.

- Yeah.

- How do you just literally let yourself go

when you start acting?

- So what it is, is you find the joy in it

and then you share that joy.

- At this point, I really do wanna be here.

Even though I was ready to walk away, I know this is all here.

And I'm literally like, no, no, no.

We're not doing that, Kahanna.

Like, you're here because you're fierce.

- Like, for me, I was like...

I found the voice.

I want to be a German detective.

So find what about

your character will make you feel good.

What brings Kahanna joy?

And then lean on that so that you're having fun.

- I'm really appreciating that, even though this is

a competition, Jimbo doesn't mind

making sure that I'm in a comfortable space to deliver.

And to me, that's so real.

And I fuck with Jimbo for that.

I'm thinking about just, like, channeling the girls

in the dressing room.

Like, knowing, like, you know, how it can get really intense.

And, like, working with showgirls, it's a lot, so.

- And your point of view is awesome.

It's funny, it's beautiful, and the world wants to see it.

- I'm breathing in.

I'm breathing out.

And I'm feeling like a new bitch.

- We have a case to solve.

It's not gonna solve itself.

Does this girl know where the clues are?

Probably not.

- It's funny that we are getting ready

to do character that we are figuring out.

- Haven't fully figured out yet.

- It's like, okay.

I'm gonna do my eyes, and I'm gonna find out...

- Who she is. - Who is she.

I think I'm funny, but this challenge

is very difficult because we don't have a script.

I need to create what the character

is saying in the moment.

And it's not easy for me to be fast and translate everything.

And I'm scared.

I think I'm gonna shit myself.

But let's see what happen.

- How you doing, Kandy?

- I'm good, just trying to focus on this damn challenge.

- Well, I just wanted to say, like, I consider you a sister,

and sometimes sisters get into it.

And you know, we're gonna do a scene

together today in this thing.

I had so much fun with you in Snatch Game,

and I've had so much fun with you in everything

we've done together in this competition.

And like, I wanna do that today.

I wanna have fun with you.

- Yeah. My thing is to never...

Like, I don't like getting into things

with my sisters like that.

- Yeah, I agree.

- So if I came off too strong, I apologize for that

because that was not my, like, intentions at all.

- As uncomfortable as this morning was,

I actually think that this is gonna

deepen our sisterhood, because family,

you can get into it and get over it.

- I'm gonna have fun.

We're gonna have a good time today.

- Yeah.

- We gotta go from six to five.

- Yeah.

It was a hot summer day in Hollywood, California.

A group of drag queens were set to begin production

on a new season of the popular competition series

"RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars."

- Your favorite pageant queen is back.

- Your Miss Congeniality, Ura Dragg.

- No one was more excited

than season five fan favorite Lil' Poundcake.

The 4-foot tall legend was back to claim her spot

in the "Drag Race" Hall of Fame.

But shortly after her arrival, she vanished.

Did the potty mouth beauty queen get cold feet?

Or did she meet with foul play?

Lil' Poundcake was an outsider in the drag world.

- Lil' Poundcake enjoys being a straight-up

motherfucking dick pig.

- After being crowned Little Miss Junior Drag in 2013,

her brief cameo in "Drag Race" Season 5

skyrocketed her to fame.

Lil' Poundcake was unstoppable.

- All hail Lil' Poundcake.

- Or so it seemed.

Contestant Ura Dragg

was set to compete with Lil' Poundcake

on the "All Star" season that never aired.

- When I came back ten years ago to compete on "Drag Race,"

I was very excited, especially because

Lil' Poundcake was my idol.

- Decorated pageant queen Imma Foxx

was also a contestant on the lost season.

- It's no secret that me and Lil' Poundcake

had our differences.

I didn't like the bitch.

The makeup is still terrible, and your boas

are chicken feathers, bitch.

Little Miss Poundcake is the greatest.

Little Miss Poundcake is the fan favorite.

But no one's talking about Imma Foxx.

Ten years later, look at me.

I'm a bitch still, yes, but I have become a bigger bitch.

And that's real growth.

- Lil' Poundcake was scheduled to shoot

a confessional interview,

but she never made it into the chair.

- Yeah!

- Production was halted as security guard

Shari Coleman searched the premises.

Would you state your name for our audience?

It's Sharisha Coleman.

The "sha" is silent.

My mom didn't know how to spell it.

I'm a former stripper.

I used to work out at the Big Booty Bandits

on Pine Street in Atlanta, Georgia.

I had changed my life, though, and I became a security guard.

I think Lil' Chucky, because I seen the movies,

I think Lil' Chucky got her, and he had slit her throat.

That's what I think. You mind if I take a drink?

- Then things escalated following a 911 call.

- 911, what's your shemergency?

- Detective Anita Klew went

to the "All Star" set to investigate.

- Hello?

First of all, this is gonna be televised, right?

I'm not really a detective.

I'm more of a nosy-ass bitch.

- The nosy-ass bitch quickly made a troubling discovery.

Lil' Poundcake's personal effects were still

at her workstation, including her driver's license,

birth control, and, oddly,

a small calico cat named Yvie Oddly.

- A pussy?

- And finally, her EBT card.

- She found her ETB card.

And on a Taco Tuesday, she never left the card,

because she loved to celebrate Taco Tuesday.

She liked the soft shell with carne asada.

That's her favorite. With guacamole.

And guacamole is expensive, so she's not gonna leave

without her card.

That was weird for me.

- Investigators were certain that something bad

happened to Lil' Poundcake.

Ura Dragg shared her suspicions with the detective.

- I don't want to throw anybody under the bus.

But I had a conversation...

- With who? - With Imma Foxx.

And she confessed to me that she hate Lil' Poundcake.

- The conversation between Imma Foxx and Ura Dragg

was captured on a hot mic in the ladies room.

- Security guard Shari Coleman told investigators

that Imma Foxx was willing to do anything

to win the competition.

Imma Foxx, she, she is a little...

A little... To me. You know what I mean?

She's just very...

And that ain't eloguent to me.

Want some?

- Detective Anita Klew interrogated Imma Foxx

to find out what she knew.

- Miss Foxx, I heard a recording

of you saying you wanted to get rid of Lil' Poundcake.

- And I'll tell you to your face.

I do. She is my arch-nemesis.

- Miss Foxx, where is the body?

- A'keria is the body.

- Bitch.

- Imma Foxx didn't give detectives

the confession they were hoping for.

- I wanted her gone, and I'm glad she's gone.

However, doesn't mean I did it.

- So Forensic Examiner Eva Dentz

was called in to search for clues forensically.

I examined "schtains,"

"schmells," sometimes tastes.

I also keep with me my "schtink" finger.

This "schtink" finger has swabbed, swiped,

and sampled every crime scene I've encountered.

One sniff of my stink finger, and it helps me

examine what I'm looking at.

Would you like to smell my stink finger?

- The forensic examiner made a disturbing revelation.

- The DNA found on the "Drag Race" set,

that was the most mysterious part of it all.

For there was no DNA found on the set

because dolls have no DNA.

Are you sure you don't want to smell my stink finger?

Just once?

- The forensic examiner did find

microscopic synthetic fibers belonging to Lil' Poundcake.

- This could be the key to the case.

- Acting on a hunch,

investigators questioned Ura Dragg,

who made a startling confession.

- All right, all right. Let me tell you the truth.

Papi.

I had a phone call from my boyfriend, Luis Fernando.

Que?

That he was with Lil' Poundcake.

And that devastated me.

I'm gonna kill that bitch.

- How do I know you had nothing to do

with the disappearance of her?

- Because I am Miss Congeniality.

I didn't do anything to disappear Lil' Poundcake.

It was in my thoughts because that slutty slut stole my man.

But I am not a Republican,

and I didn't kill Lil' Poundcake.

- District attorney Effie Lee Bailey

was later assigned to the case.

- Originally, I am from Brooklyn.

Flatbush, to be exact.

Because after a night with me, every bush was flattened.

I've worked thousands of cases in my long career.

This case has more holes in it than Michelle Visage.

- The story made national headlines.

America wanted to know

what had happened to Lil' Poundcake.

A $25 reward was offered for any information

that would lead to her safe return.

Phone calls poured in to the tip line.

- Investigators thought they'd hit a dead end.

- Klew, Dentz, I have no evidence and no case.

How am I supposed to arraign?

- I have a great rack is what I have.

They're right here.

- You most certainly do.

- Okay, first of all, bitch, I'm given you enough evidence.

And you keep trying me, I'ma shove that cronut up your ass.

- All right, well, tell me, what do you have?

- Listen. - Besides herpes.

- Then, a break.

While re-examining calls from the tip line,

detectives discovered something

they had previously overlooked.

- Detectives traced the call to the security office

at the "All Stars" set.

- I was a witness, and I was a suspect.

I'm just securing the premises.

I don't know why they put my name in it.

- Man, there's cameras around here?

- In addition to the linguistic evidence,

fibers belonging to Lil' Poundcake

match those found on the security guard's uniform.

- Baby, I was gagged and gooped.

But I was gagged and gooped

right before coming to this interview.

Right, Mr. Cameraman?

I know it was you.

There is linguistic evidence against you, Miss Eloguent.

- Linguistic?

Girl, did you eat yours with Alfredo?

- I found fibers that match Lil' Poundcake in your locker.

- Bitch, I've been looking for my fiber intake.

My system has been off.

Bitch, give it back to me.

- After hours of probing, the security guard came clean.

- I did it, girl! I did it, girl!

I wanna be on "All Stars"!

I've been on this set every single day,

and they didn't pick me.

- Damn, bitch, I knew you did it.

You're going to jail now, ho.

- Damn. - Going to jail.

- Damn.

- Based on Shari Coleman's confession,

investigators recreated a timeline

that told the story

of what ha-happened to Lil' Poundcake.

- That security guard,

she thought getting a job on set of "Drag Race"

was gonna be her way into the business.

But as soon as Lil' Poundcake saw her rehearsing a lip sync

on that stage, she ridiculed her and said,

you will never be glamour.

You'd be provoked too.

- What you say? What did you say?

Don't you ever talk to me like that, bitch.

I'll whoop your ass.

- And that security guard vowed in that moment

to get revenge.

- Come on, bitch. Come on.

Come on, bitch.

- She grabbed her.

- She tore her limb from limb.

There was Poly-Fil flying everywhere.

- And then that security guard had to hide the evidence.

- We found the body, and we closed the case.

Ain't that some shit?

- The security guard was charged with dollnapping

and illegal possession of tig old biddies

and was ordered to spend 1 hour and 45 minutes

doing community service.

- She got what she deserved.

I wanted to be on the season of "All Stars,"

and she wasn't eloguent enough to be on it.

I'm very eloguent.

So I had to get her.

When I get paid for this, though?

- Imma Foxx and Ura Dragg were exonerated

but still can't accept the fact

that their season never aired.

- I'm disappointed because I knew

I was gonna win my season.

And I got nothing.

But after all these years working hard,

now somebody ask me, do you want guacamole?

It's extra. I'm like, yes.

And I can pay for extra guacamole.

- This season not airing is the worst thing that

ever happened to my career.

I hate Lil' Poundcake.

She steals people's boyfriends,

and she doesn't have the talent.

But you know what?

I still had love for her.

- Today Lil' Poundcake has been put back together

with new parts and a new lease on life.

- See you next Taco Tuesday, bitch.

- This is eloguence.

This is not.

- All right. - How dare you.

- Girl, kiss my ass, ho.

- Eloguence, honey, eloguence.

- This week we improvved the house down as forensic queens.

And baby, I was all the time in character,

and I think I was funny.

I think I have a big chance to win this challenge.

I'm very proud of myself.

- I had so much fun yesterday.

I almost killed myself on the golf cart.

I didn't know how to stop it.

- You were funny.

I feel like this might be your win this week.

- I really wanna win.

I've been working my ass off.

Well, I feel eloguent today.

Come on, eloguent.

Can I channel some of that eloguence?

- Yes, honey. You know, Sharisha.

- Sharisha. - The "sha" is silent.

- The "sha" is silent. Got it.

- Period. - Got it.

- That was fun doing a scene with you and Kandy.

I wish we had more time.

- I wish I had more time to smell your "schtink" finger.

- Mein schtink finger.

- I hope you washed your hands before you do

your makeup today.

- Nope.

So how are you after yesterday's crazy day?

- You know, I'm actually feeling really good today.

Yesterday was definitely a roller coaster.

- Were you fully about to give up?

- Yeah, I was like... - You were done?

- And it was more so just because I felt like I peaked.

And with everything going on, I just didn't feel like

I could bounce back from it.

This week has been very, very emotional for me.

And it almost pushed me beyond my limits.

But I'm really happy that I decided to stay.

I was able to, like, come out

and just have fun with the challenge.

But I just have to say you gave me so much advice

that, like, I was applying.

Girl, I felt like I was really doing my best.

- Good.

- Like, you really helped me.

You really did.

That extreme low point that I had,

I know that it was my breakthrough point

in this competition.

And right now I feel good.

Kandy, Alexis, how are y'all feeling

after everything that happened?

- I feel... - I fucking hate her.

No, I feel good.

I mean, you know, we've been here for seven weeks now.

And there's so much pressure and all this tension built up.

And you're so exhausted.

And girl, you know, yesterday was

just one of those days where...

- We cracked.

- Well, we, yeah, you know, we cracked.

- And honestly, like, Kandy and I

had a chance to talk yesterday, and, like, I owned my part.

Like, I let the stress of the competition

get the better of me.

I feel relieved that Kandy and I were able to work it out

because I'm not looking to make an enemy out

of anybody in this Werk Room.

In this game, you don't wanna burn any bridges

or give anybody a reason to pull your lipstick.

- Child, when Mama Ru had came in yesterday

and got us together...

Ooh, Lord, that was quite something.

Took me back to my childhood when

I got, like, an F on my report card.

Mama busting it out.

What the fuck is this?

- I mean, talk about putting you into alignment.

- It was necessary. - It was.

- It was just what we needed.

- It was really what we needed.

And I really appreciate her, because she didn't

have to do that, you know?

- No. - She didn't.

- Did y'all feel the shift after, though?

Yeah.

- It was like she just relieved, like, so much weight.

- And I feel like she helped us put it in perspective

to be like, this is fun. This is life.

- And it's an opportunity for us to go even further.

When you hit the 40s, you think, my God,

maybe my career is over.

And she's giving me, again, an opportunity to do more.

- And now you're gonna be 60 up at the club.

- What are you doing with all this glitter like that?

- It goes on your eye.

- Girl, there's none on your eye.

It's all on your face.

- Girl, you got something on your face.

You need to be worried about that, ho.

- I can't believe that we're gonna go from six to five.

- It's scary to think about.

- It already feels, like, strange because

just a few weeks ago, this room was filled.

- It was filled. - With girls.

And it's like, all of us at these two tables.

It's like, that's wild.

- But it is an elimination, and that is scary.

- Yeah, it is. It's always scary.

Yeah.

And we never know what's gonna happen.

- My hole just clenched up.

- My God. - Let's go.

- Whoo-hoo!

Pull up to my bumper.

- Welcome to the main stage of "RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars."

If looking good is a crime, then she's guilty as hell.

Michelle Visage.

- And that's what my parole officer tells me.

Style superstar Carson Kressley.

Hey, have you ever been strip searched?

No.

But I did hire a private dick.

It means investigator.

- And straight out of Gotham City, it's Javicia Leslie.

Welcome.

- Thank you, Mother.

I am so excited to be one of your Judge Judies.

- You're the boss, applesauce.

This week we challenged our All Stars to act a fool

in the Ru crime series "Forensic Queens."

And tonight on the runway, category is

Miss Fill-in-the-Blank.

All Stars, start your engines,

and may the best drag queen win.

Category is Miss Fill-in-the-Blank.

Up first, Jessica Wild.

- Tonight on the runway, I am Miss Sausage Party.

- I have to be frank with you. - Okay.

- This look is very processed.

- It's a lot of baloney.

- To win this title, I have to eat 15 sausages in 15 seconds.

I almost choke, but I am the winner.

- This look is the absolute wurst.

- My crown is full of wieners because I am a winner.

- You know, I think we found the missing link.

- She put the ass in kielbasa.

- It's Oscar Mayer de La Renta.

Up next, Kahanna Montrese.

Miss Tired-Ass Showgirl.

- There may not be anything tired about this look

other than me yawning.

- Honey, if she's tired, I'm exhausted.

- Thank you. - I'm dead.

- It's giving very green and gold goddess,

and it is over-the-top pageantry glam.

And I'm feeling super regal.

This look deserves a crown.

- She's like a bicycle.

Two tired.

- A bicycle has two tires. - Got it.

Thank you for explaining. - Yeah.

- Ain't nothing tired about this look.

She is straight perfection.

- Go back to Sin City where you belong.

Up next, LaLa Ri.

Miss Bootlegger. - Bootlegger?

I don't even know her. - Thank you.

- I am Miss Bootlegger.

I'm decked out in nothing but gold.

It's all fake.

Miss Bootlegger is serving up fashion and fake jewelry

and fake hair and fake everything.

She got that new Asia O'Hara DVD.

- $5. - Asia O'Hara bootleg.

- Everything on me is fake, okay?

It's only $5, so you get what you pay for.

- Hair we go again.

- I have one thing to say.

- What? - Eloguent.

Up next, Kandy Muse.

Miss Arrogant.

- I look stunning as Miss Arrogant.

You know, I don't care what anyone says.

- She's got a hair ball.

Actually, 47 of them.

- My hair is up to the heavens, bitch.

Not one, not two, but three crowns.

- She's crowning. - Three times over.

- It's a very ballsy hairdo.

- I'll just give you some high for high fashion realness.

Eat it up.

- I didn't realize that Cookie and Elmo had a baby.

- Yes.

- Look, it's a real feather in her cap.

I mean, shoulder.

Up next, Alexis Michelle.

Miss Man Pig.

- I am walking down this runway looking

like the most beautiful sparkling glamorous jockstrap

you've ever seen.

- Hey, Carson, what's the red bandanna mean again?

- Is it red, or is it brown?

- I can't tell. - Let me Google it real quick

before I make a terrible mistake.

- I'm repping my hanky code with this train.

- She's trouble with a capital T that rhymes with P.

And of course, that's what she's into.

- I am serving you full pageantry,

glamour, sparkle, and filth.

There's always a pig under this wig.

- That way to the golden showers.

- Jimbo, Miss Tits McGee.

Triggered.

- Are you having some mammaries?

For tonight's runway,

I am serving Miss Tits McGee 2003.

She's a pageant winner from down under.

- Hooter, I don't even know her.

- I used to work at Hooters.

I don't think I was as qualified as her.

- These are my biggest, most beautiful breasts.

They are a size Z cup.

I'm shimmering and bouncing and I am serving beauty,

elegance, grace, and face.

- Honey, she is milking this.

- I'm worried about her lower back health.

- Yes.

Welcome, queens.

Now it's time for the judges' critiques.

Up first, Jessica Wild, Miss Sausage Party.

- Which was my nickname in junior high.

You're an Oscar Mayer winner, baby.

This is so fun.

You're still giving us a beautiful body

and very effective for this category.

- I'm a vegan, and I'd eat your sausage.

Okay?

- You're clearly insane

in all the best ways possible and funny.

Like, I laughed a lot at what you did.

I think my favorite quotes from you,

she likes soft shell tacos.

- She like the soft shell.

That was her favorite.

- That resonated with me.

I mean, I just understood it.

- I thought she was talking about you.

- Thank you.

- Yeah, you were a natural with the improv.

You had a character.

You knew who the character was.

You had a point of view.

And what is better than a sausage?

- Nothing. - Two sausages.

Yes.

Up next, Kahanna Montrese.

- Miss Tired-Ass Showgirl, ain't nothing tired about you.

You look amazing. You look perfect.

- I mean, head to toe, everything is spectacular.

I think it's mislabeled,

but the look is really beautiful.

- Imma Foxx.

Yes, you are.

Your character was having a bit of a struggle

in the beginning, Kahanna.

It was almost like you were unsure of yourself.

And then somewhere towards the middle,

you started to have fun.

It was enjoyable to watch

because I wasn't nervous for you.

This is Kahanna 2.0, isn't it?

- Yes. - Yeah. Good job.

- You have it in you to do this.

You know, giving yourself permission to act a fool

or to act crazy

or to act whatever is that breakthrough.

You are a class act.

You're beautiful. You got there.

- There was a click that I was, like, girl,

this ain't serious. Just go with it.

Just let loose, and I did.

That was the funnest I had in this competition so far.

- Good. - So thank you.

- Well, that's why we do this.

That's why I come to work every morning.

It's not the cars or the furs or the private jets.

- It ain't the hers. - No.

None of that. - It's me.

- Up next, LaLa Ri.

- Let's talk about your character.

The "sha" is silent. Right. - Silent.

- You created a character so beautifully

through your acting and through your nails.

- At one point I was like, what the fuck

is she even talking about?

But it worked. It was funny.

And Miss Bootlegger, girl, this speaks to me

on so many levels.

It's all just right.

- Honestly, this was your show.

You brought energy.

You brought life.

In improv, it's about keeping the ball in the air,

and you never dropped the ball, because you are talented.

- Thank you.

- I loved how you overcompensated

for your guilt.

- It was very obvious that you did it,

and it was a great character choice.

You really showed up this week, and you showed out.

- Thank you.

- Up next, Kandy Muse.

- I think my issue with you, Kandy, was,

I was excited for you to play a character,

and I felt like you were playing you.

- I was okay with the performance.

And that lollipop deserves a Best Supporting Actress nod.

But I'm just not really sure how

this look supports the title.

- I feel the arrogance in the hair, and I love it.

I don't know if I'd hire you as a detective,

but I'd definitely cast you as one of my favorite detectives.

- You didn't go far away from the Kandy character,

which is fine with me

because I love the Kandy character.

But it was a little confusing because you were saying that

you were not a real detective.

- I'm not really a detective.

I'm more of a nosy-ass bitch.

- But then in the interrogation room, you were a detective.

- There is linguistic evidence against you, Miss Eloguent.

Made me laugh.

Up next, Jimbo.

- If you look up commitment in the dictionary,

there will be a picture of your tit... your face.

Your stink finger, it had us all just disgusted

in the most amazing way.

- You "schwiped," you "schwabbed,"

and you "schfingered" your way into our hearts.

- This, of course, is traditional Jimbo

only heightened by at least 7,000 CCs.

I don't know if you can find any bigger ones.

We love a point of view here, and you've had one

through this whole challenge.

- Yeah.

You have a very twisted mind.

- Yes.

- And this is the place for that twisted mind.

- Thank you.

- Up next, Alexis Michelle.

- You always come prepared.

I think where sometimes you do yourself a disservice is,

you're so prepared that you forget to have fun sometimes.

You had a character.

I needed for it to take off.

And it just didn't.

This, however, definitely did.

- To me this is what great drag is all about.

It has a point of view.

It tells a story.

It makes us feel something.

I'm a little itchy right now.

But the performance felt more like a monologue.

- I just wanna see a little bit more energy.

And I think we would have had a full rounded character.

- Yeah, the thing that was missing

was the fun part of it.

- Reckless abandon. - Reckless abandon.

- Yeah. - Thank you, ladies.

I think we've heard enough.

Based on the judges' critiques, I've made some decisions.

LaLa Ri...

Condragulations, you are the top All Star of the week.

- LaLa! - Yes, bitch.

- You've won a cash prize of $5,000.

Jessica, Kandy, Jimbo...

you are safe.

Kahanna Montrese, Alexis Michelle, I'm sorry, my dears,

but you are the bottom All Stars of the week.

Thank you, All Stars.

You may leave the stage.

- The idea of potentially going home tonight

does not feel right.

And if you have to compare me and Kahanna,

I have a stronger track record in this competition.

- Even though I was ready to walk away yesterday,

I've worked so hard to get my head back in the game.

And I hope that the girls give me another chance to show

why I deserve to be here.

- This is a really tough decision.

Kahanna has had a roller coaster of a competition.

She has been up, she's been down.

She's been invested, she's been wanting to give up,

and this will be her fourth time in the bottom.

This is only Alexis's second time in the bottom,

but this might be a great opportunity to get rid

of some very good competition.

You know what? Send them both home.

I'm just kidding.

- Mwah. Love you, sister.

- I'm trying to go to the end.

- Bitch, what I'm gonna do?

I don't know what I'm gonna do, Lord.

Even though Kahanna has been in the bottom

more than Alexis,

Alexis hasn't wowed me yet.

Alexis is a good competitor, but she plays it safe for me.

But the other girl, she's in the bottom a lot.

Let me have a moment with Jesus.

Lord, I come to you as humbly as I can to help a sister out.

Love you, sister girl.

Welcome back.

LaLa Ri, are you ready to meet your opponent?

- Bring her ass on, honey.

I guess that's a yes.

- Indeed.

- It's time to present this week's Lip Sync Assassin.

She tiny.

- Is that Gigi Goode?

- It's Symone, I bet. - I know that pose.

- Ruveal yourself.

My God.

- Snatched.

- Look at that waist.

- Is that Gigi?

- Who is it?

- She don't get cute.

She gets drop dead Jorgeous.

- They want me to work hard for this money today,

'cause Miss Jorgeous is the Lip Sync Assassin.

And Mama is good. She real good.

But she ain't no match for the Big Bertha like me.

Sorry.

- Hello, Jorgeous.

- Hellotus.

- Are you ready to do your thing?

Yes, ma'am, you already know.

- LaLa Ri, are you ready to serve the experience?

- And you know I am, Mother.

- Does it come with any side dishes?

- Cake.

- Two.

- Two queens stand before me.

Ladies, Jorgeous holds the lipstick of the queen

that the group has voted to send home.

If Jorgeous wins, the queen on her lipstick gets the chop.

LaLa Ri, this is your chance to impress me, win $10,000,

and earn the power to give one of the bottom queens the chop.

The time has come

for you to Lip Sync for Your Legacy.

Good luck and don't fuck it up.

- Work, bitch.

- Work, bitch! - Yeah! LaLa, come on.

- Yes.

Ladies.

Wow.

I've made my decision.

LaLa Ri, condragulations, you're a winner, baby.

- Period, bitch.

Period.

- Thank you, thank you, thank you.

- You've won a cash tip of $10,000.

- Whoo. - Work.

- Jorgeous, my darling dear, thank you for joining us.

Please come back any time.

- Thank you guys.

Bitch, you turned it. - Love you, Jorgeous.

- Now, will the bottom queens please step forward?

Kahanna Montrese, Alexis Michelle,

whoever gets the chop tonight will be immediately entered

into the online Fame Games.

Now, LaLa Ri, with great power comes great responsibility.

Which queen have you chosen to get the chop?

- Both of these two beautiful, amazing entertainers

mean so much to me, so this decision

is so heartbreaking. It's so hard to do.

But the queen I have chosen...

Is Kahanna.

- As it is written, so it shall be done.

Kahanna Montrese, you are and will always be an All Star.

You're leaving us tonight,

but the Fame Games have just begun.

Now sashay away.

- Thank you so much.

I love each and every one of you.

I love you, baby.

Come here.

I'm so proud of you.

- Top six, girl. Be happy for me!

Even though I am disappointed to be going home,

I definitely feel like the judges

got to see a whole new side of me,

and I'm proud of that.

- Love you, sister.

Love you.

- This experience has definitely taught me

that just because you're glowing

doesn't mean you stop growing.

Look for me online, because I will be

the queen of the Fame Games.

I'm gonna need y'all's love and support, y'all.

I came in as a showgirl,

but I'm leaving as a superstar, baby.

And I'm ready to take on the world.

- Yes, Kahanna!

- Condragulations, All Stars.

And remember, if you can't love yourself,

how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?

Can I get an amen up in here?

Amen.

- All right, now let the music play.

- Next time on "All Stars"...

- I am grateful for the rest of my life.

I will never forget this.

I'm the only girl still in this competition without a win.

- For this week's Maxi Challenge,

your mission is to transform these materials

into your own signature look

that screams I'm a winner, baby.

- Maybe you could kind of create, like,

a reptilian sort of cover up.

- She wants you to make something for her.

- Designing challenges, they are my favorite.

I am very sarcastic right now.

- I had all, like, fucked up the front

by mistake and didn't realize.

Why is this happening to me?

- I think I made this hood too small, but whatever.

- I don't know what I'm doing at all.

I don't like the pattern on that.

It's a lot. It's a lot.

If you do win tonight, don't forget about me.

- I won't. You know I won't.

- Ruveal yourself.

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