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1
00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:29,861
The plane! The plane!
2
00:00:39,507 --> 00:00:41,440
Boss! Boss!
3
00:00:41,509 --> 00:00:43,487
I've got a new one for you. Oh?
4
00:00:43,511 --> 00:00:45,444
You want to hear it? All right.
5
00:00:45,513 --> 00:00:47,446
What's yellow, Yes.
6
00:00:47,515 --> 00:00:50,598
Weigh 800 pounds
and lay eggs? Yes.
7
00:00:50,667 --> 00:00:54,836
Yellow... 800 pounds...
and lays eggs?
8
00:00:54,904 --> 00:00:58,624
Um, I'm afraid I don't know.
9
00:00:58,692 --> 00:01:01,560
Two 400-pounds chickens.
10
00:01:03,130 --> 00:01:05,380
You get it, boss? Two
400-pound chickens.
11
00:01:05,449 --> 00:01:08,300
Oh, it's very amusing, Tattoo.
12
00:01:08,368 --> 00:01:10,346
I've got a million of them.
13
00:01:10,370 --> 00:01:15,040
They send it to me in
my new joke kit. Watch.
14
00:01:15,109 --> 00:01:19,260
It seems we're still determined to be the
Henny Youngman of Fantasy Island, huh?
15
00:01:19,329 --> 00:01:22,848
No. I'd rather be Groucho.
16
00:01:22,917 --> 00:01:25,617
At least he had more
fun with the ladies.
17
00:01:25,686 --> 00:01:28,153
Indeed.
18
00:01:28,222 --> 00:01:30,155
Ah, the Jeep.
19
00:01:51,645 --> 00:01:54,512
Smiles, everyone. Smiles.
20
00:01:58,519 --> 00:02:00,869
Mr. Ernie Miller.
21
00:02:02,372 --> 00:02:05,340
He looks like he just got
the keys to the candy stores.
22
00:02:07,494 --> 00:02:09,545
What's his fantasy?
23
00:02:09,613 --> 00:02:14,349
Oh, it's one shared by daydreamers
throughout the ages, Tattoo.
24
00:02:14,418 --> 00:02:18,319
Mr. Ernie Miller, a plumber
from Topeka, Kansas,
25
00:02:18,388 --> 00:02:21,206
simply wants to
live like a king.
26
00:02:21,275 --> 00:02:25,143
A plumber who wants
to be a king? Boss.
27
00:02:25,212 --> 00:02:28,463
And that is precisely what
he shall be this weekend.
28
00:02:28,532 --> 00:02:32,017
Though I am not
certain that his reign...
29
00:02:32,085 --> 00:02:35,053
will be everything he expects.
30
00:02:36,590 --> 00:02:40,392
Miss Gail Grayson... all the
way from Cleveland, Ohio.
31
00:02:40,460 --> 00:02:42,460
That's her mother with her.
32
00:02:42,529 --> 00:02:46,648
- Does the young lady
have a fantasy?
- Oh, she does indeed, Tattoo.
33
00:02:46,716 --> 00:02:51,119
Miss Grayson's fantasy is to get a chance
to meet and be interviewed for a job...
34
00:02:51,188 --> 00:02:53,455
by the famous Dr. Sydney Block.
35
00:02:53,523 --> 00:02:55,473
Oh, I know about him.
36
00:02:55,543 --> 00:02:59,177
He's the famous doctor who wrote
all these books how to raise children.
37
00:02:59,246 --> 00:03:01,914
Yes, yes. That's right.
Many people consider him...
38
00:03:01,982 --> 00:03:05,316
to be the world's foremost
expert of family life.
39
00:03:05,385 --> 00:03:07,953
That's why young Miss
Grayson wants to meet him.
40
00:03:08,022 --> 00:03:10,656
You see, she's just
graduated from college...
41
00:03:10,724 --> 00:03:14,709
with degrees in child
psychology and family analysis.
42
00:03:14,778 --> 00:03:16,706
Her mommy must
be very proud of her.
43
00:03:16,730 --> 00:03:20,114
Oh, I wouldn't jump to
any conclusions, Tattoo.
44
00:03:20,183 --> 00:03:25,037
You see, the title of Miss
Grayson's "doctorial" thesis is...
45
00:03:25,105 --> 00:03:28,206
"The Soft Life of the American
Housewife and Mother."
46
00:03:29,576 --> 00:03:32,576
I bet that was a real kick
in the head for her mommy.
47
00:03:34,564 --> 00:03:37,599
Right, Tattoo. Her
mother wants her to see...
48
00:03:37,668 --> 00:03:40,551
how soft it really is
to be a housewife.
49
00:03:42,939 --> 00:03:46,524
My dear guests, I am
Mr. Roarke, your host.
50
00:03:46,593 --> 00:03:48,776
Welcome to Fantasy Island.
51
00:04:11,434 --> 00:04:13,368
Excellency.
52
00:04:15,072 --> 00:04:19,424
The nectar from the gods,
especially brewed for Your Majesty.
53
00:04:19,493 --> 00:04:22,227
- Your Majesty?
- But of course.
54
00:04:22,296 --> 00:04:25,714
You did ask for a weekend where you
would be treated like a king, did you not?
55
00:04:25,782 --> 00:04:29,985
Well, after much thought, we realized
the only way that would be possible...
56
00:04:30,054 --> 00:04:33,571
would be to convince
our other guests...
57
00:04:33,641 --> 00:04:35,824
that you are really
a ruling monarch.
58
00:04:35,893 --> 00:04:38,577
Oh, well...
59
00:04:38,645 --> 00:04:42,814
No wonder that everybody
has been so... friendly.
60
00:04:42,883 --> 00:04:44,982
Your nectar, sire.
61
00:04:45,051 --> 00:04:47,452
Ah. Thank you.
62
00:04:47,521 --> 00:04:50,405
Then my fantasy
has already begun?
63
00:04:50,474 --> 00:04:52,574
Oh, Mr. Miller... Um,
64
00:04:52,643 --> 00:04:54,575
I should say King Albert.
65
00:04:54,644 --> 00:04:57,579
That's the name you'll
use during your stay with us.
66
00:04:57,647 --> 00:05:00,148
Your fantasy began the
minute the plane landed,
67
00:05:00,217 --> 00:05:03,685
and we raised the
official flag of your country.
68
00:05:07,273 --> 00:05:10,424
- Even a flag.
- Of course.
69
00:05:10,493 --> 00:05:13,628
Wow. Well, I really
didn't expect any of this.
70
00:05:13,697 --> 00:05:16,330
But then I don't know
what I did expect.
71
00:05:16,399 --> 00:05:20,368
Uh, tell me, does my
country have a name?
72
00:05:20,437 --> 00:05:23,471
- Carpathia.
- Carpathia.
73
00:05:23,540 --> 00:05:25,823
Tattoo.
74
00:05:25,892 --> 00:05:29,510
And you think that
all of these people...
75
00:05:29,579 --> 00:05:32,997
will really believe that
there is such a place?
76
00:05:33,066 --> 00:05:35,083
But of course they will.
77
00:05:35,152 --> 00:05:38,386
Oh, King Albert, the world
is full of small kingdoms...
78
00:05:38,455 --> 00:05:40,388
that people have never heard of.
79
00:05:40,457 --> 00:05:42,908
The world is also
filled with people...
80
00:05:42,976 --> 00:05:46,995
who want to believe in kings
and queens and fairy tale lands.
81
00:05:48,465 --> 00:05:51,082
Cecil Saint James...
Your valet, sire.
82
00:05:51,150 --> 00:05:54,535
Sire. If you will accompany
me to the royal bungalow,
83
00:05:54,604 --> 00:05:57,422
I have laid out your wardrobe
for the official reception.
84
00:05:57,491 --> 00:06:02,660
We certainly hope Your
Majesty will enjoy his stay with us.
85
00:06:04,047 --> 00:06:06,982
Well, I'm sure going to try.
86
00:06:24,401 --> 00:06:27,068
How do you like my new
trick, boss? Isn't it funny?
87
00:06:27,137 --> 00:06:30,589
Oh, it's a regular
laugh riot, Tattoo.
88
00:06:30,657 --> 00:06:33,892
Laugh riot? That what it
says on the box it came in.
89
00:06:33,961 --> 00:06:37,712
Oh? Hmm. What a coincidence.
90
00:06:57,100 --> 00:06:59,967
Oh, thank you.
Thank you very much.
91
00:07:02,606 --> 00:07:04,539
Yes.
92
00:07:04,608 --> 00:07:09,294
Well, this is the home of
Dr. Sydney Block and family.
93
00:07:09,362 --> 00:07:13,097
Dr. Sydney Block. Hope
I say all the right things.
94
00:07:13,166 --> 00:07:15,211
Wish me luck, Mom. Oh.
95
00:07:15,235 --> 00:07:18,286
Oh, Miss Grayson, your
mother is also expected.
96
00:07:18,354 --> 00:07:21,005
What?
97
00:07:21,074 --> 00:07:23,474
I thought I was gonna
see Dr. Block alone.
98
00:07:23,543 --> 00:07:26,578
Oh, I'm so sorry. There must
have been some sort of mix-up.
99
00:07:26,646 --> 00:07:28,946
But Dr. Block is
expecting you both.
100
00:07:29,015 --> 00:07:31,166
Well, I don't mind, dear.
101
00:07:31,234 --> 00:07:34,753
I'll try to stay out of
the way. Fine with me.
102
00:07:34,822 --> 00:07:38,523
One word of advice,
if I may, Miss Grayson.
103
00:07:38,591 --> 00:07:41,443
Be flexible. Don't
limit yourself...
104
00:07:41,511 --> 00:07:45,096
to the academic knowledge
you received from your studies.
105
00:07:45,165 --> 00:07:48,149
You see, Dr. Block
will welcome someone...
106
00:07:48,218 --> 00:07:51,770
who shows that
she's able to... adapt.
107
00:07:51,839 --> 00:07:53,921
Right.
108
00:07:53,990 --> 00:07:56,307
Like they say in show
business, knock them dead,
109
00:07:56,376 --> 00:07:58,459
Right.
110
00:07:58,528 --> 00:08:00,461
Good luck. Thank you.
111
00:08:00,530 --> 00:08:02,463
See you later. Yes.
112
00:08:02,532 --> 00:08:04,449
Tattoo.
113
00:08:04,518 --> 00:08:07,368
Uh, come.
114
00:08:07,437 --> 00:08:11,823
Oh, hi. You're... You're Gail and
Mildred, uh... uh, Grayson, right?
115
00:08:11,892 --> 00:08:14,893
Right. Yes, sir. Wonderful
you could come. Fabulous.
116
00:08:14,961 --> 00:08:17,495
They're here, Selma. Hurry up.
117
00:08:17,564 --> 00:08:19,497
I loved your thesis.
118
00:08:19,566 --> 00:08:21,483
You don't know
what this means to us.
119
00:08:21,551 --> 00:08:23,729
I mean, particularly
since there are two of you.
120
00:08:23,753 --> 00:08:26,571
One always makes my
wife very, very nervous.
121
00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:29,473
One what? One babysitter.
122
00:08:29,542 --> 00:08:31,475
This is our first
vacation in years,
123
00:08:31,544 --> 00:08:34,478
and it's gonna be a pleasure
to sit back and relax...
124
00:08:34,547 --> 00:08:38,833
and know that our kids are in the care
of the girl who-who wrote this thesis.
125
00:08:38,902 --> 00:08:41,869
Yeah, and you too.
You too, Mrs. Grayson.
126
00:08:41,938 --> 00:08:44,739
Selma! Come on. We're late.
127
00:08:44,807 --> 00:08:47,786
Here she is. We can go
now. Go? But, Dr. Block, we...
128
00:08:47,810 --> 00:08:50,523
This is like a dream come
true. It's so wonderful.
129
00:08:50,547 --> 00:08:52,758
Bless you, Miss
Grayson. Bless you both.
130
00:08:52,782 --> 00:08:55,583
Sydney, I'll be in the
car. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
131
00:08:55,652 --> 00:08:58,647
Well, Mom, it looks as though
we're gonna do some babysitting.
132
00:08:58,671 --> 00:09:00,688
Oh, Mr. Roarke said
you'd be delighted.
133
00:09:00,757 --> 00:09:02,707
Now, make notes. And, uh,
134
00:09:02,776 --> 00:09:06,311
if-if things get rough,
just consult your thesis.
135
00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:09,814
Oh, I guess it's time you
met the rest of the family.
136
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:12,149
Guys, Mommy and
Daddy are leaving.
137
00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:14,919
Have a wonderful time
and behave yourselves.
138
00:09:14,988 --> 00:09:17,255
You'll handle everything. I
have absolute confidence.
139
00:09:17,324 --> 00:09:18,723
Buh-bye.
140
00:09:22,011 --> 00:09:27,114
Hi. I'm Herbert Bayard Block,
but I like to be called Herbie.
141
00:09:27,183 --> 00:09:30,852
And this is my sister Laurie.
Laurie's short for Lorelei,
142
00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:35,056
which comes from a famous German
poem about a mermaid who sits on a rock...
143
00:09:35,125 --> 00:09:38,242
and lures sailors
to their death.
144
00:09:38,311 --> 00:09:40,277
This is my little
brother, Conrad.
145
00:09:40,346 --> 00:09:43,781
He's named after a writer
Conrad. And this is our dog, Igor.
146
00:09:43,850 --> 00:09:47,218
Like the hunchback in
Frankenstein who got hanged.
147
00:09:47,287 --> 00:09:51,222
- Oh.
- When do we eat? Igor's hungry.
148
00:09:51,291 --> 00:09:54,258
- I'm hungry.
- So am I. I'm starved.
149
00:09:54,327 --> 00:09:58,096
I guess now would be a good
time to be, uh, flexible, dear.
150
00:09:59,466 --> 00:10:02,701
We're all going to eat
as soon as lunch is ready.
151
00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:06,938
Now, how would you children
like the chance to fix it for us?
152
00:10:07,007 --> 00:10:10,291
Boy, would we ever.
Yeah. We get to fix lunch.
153
00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:13,077
Come on.
154
00:10:13,146 --> 00:10:16,164
Do you think turning them loose
in the kitchen is a good idea?
155
00:10:16,232 --> 00:10:18,365
Oh, Mother.
156
00:10:18,434 --> 00:10:20,902
It's all here in
black and white.
157
00:10:20,970 --> 00:10:24,305
Give children responsibility,
and they rise to the occasion.
158
00:10:24,373 --> 00:10:26,418
You see, Mother,
159
00:10:26,442 --> 00:10:28,576
being a housewife
is easy if you let it be.
160
00:10:28,644 --> 00:10:31,345
You really believe that,
don't you? Absolutely.
161
00:10:31,414 --> 00:10:34,060
All I have to do is keep this
house and those children in order...
162
00:10:34,084 --> 00:10:36,044
until Dr. Block gets back,
163
00:10:36,086 --> 00:10:38,064
and I will not only
prove my thesis,
164
00:10:38,088 --> 00:10:40,822
I will guarantee my
professional future.
165
00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:42,857
Oh, Mom, what a chance.
166
00:10:42,926 --> 00:10:44,925
It certainly seems so.
167
00:10:47,297 --> 00:10:49,697
His Majesty, King Albert.
168
00:10:51,351 --> 00:10:54,585
Your Majesty.
169
00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:56,888
Your Highness.
170
00:10:56,957 --> 00:10:58,689
Excellency.
171
00:11:02,746 --> 00:11:05,512
Harry Sand, United States
Undersecretary of State.
172
00:11:05,581 --> 00:11:07,849
Compliment his golf game. Ah.
173
00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:09,850
Your Majesty. Mr. Sand.
174
00:11:09,919 --> 00:11:13,354
I hope we get a chance to play
golf together while we're here.
175
00:11:13,423 --> 00:11:15,103
I'm told you're quite good.
176
00:11:15,127 --> 00:11:18,125
Thank you, Your Majesty.
I'd like nothing better.
177
00:11:18,194 --> 00:11:21,996
Eric Soro... ambassador of that
large nation on our eastern border.
178
00:11:22,065 --> 00:11:23,564
Mm.
179
00:11:25,151 --> 00:11:27,284
I am surprised...
but delighted...
180
00:11:27,353 --> 00:11:29,637
To find Your Majesty
in such good health.
181
00:11:29,706 --> 00:11:31,905
Oh, well, uh, thank you, Eric.
182
00:11:31,974 --> 00:11:36,527
Emperor Bakota of
uh, Seeda, East Africa.
183
00:11:36,596 --> 00:11:38,579
Well, well, well.
184
00:11:38,648 --> 00:11:40,981
We seem to be having
marvelous weather, Albert.
185
00:11:41,050 --> 00:11:43,418
Yes, yes. It's a beautiful day.
186
00:11:43,487 --> 00:11:46,737
As one monarch to another,
187
00:11:46,806 --> 00:11:49,686
I hope we shall have some time to
speak about that loan to our country...
188
00:11:49,725 --> 00:11:53,378
that we discussed at your
birthday party last month.
189
00:11:53,447 --> 00:11:56,213
Well, uh... Your Majesty.
190
00:11:56,282 --> 00:11:58,466
Your queen, Aurora.
191
00:12:01,121 --> 00:12:03,037
My queen?
192
00:12:03,105 --> 00:12:06,040
Oh. Oh, yes, of
course. My queen.
193
00:12:09,479 --> 00:12:11,908
Darling, we're all so
pleased you could make it.
194
00:12:11,932 --> 00:12:14,048
Mm, so am I.
195
00:12:25,345 --> 00:12:29,413
Gail, lunch is taking
a long time, isn't it?
196
00:12:29,482 --> 00:12:31,733
One must be patient
with children, Mother.
197
00:12:31,801 --> 00:12:34,468
You have to give them space.
198
00:12:34,537 --> 00:12:37,266
I bet they're working their
little fingers to the bone.
199
00:12:37,290 --> 00:12:40,858
Luncheon is served.
What did I tell you?
200
00:12:40,927 --> 00:12:44,329
And I bet it tastes
pretty good too. Yes.
201
00:12:44,397 --> 00:12:46,631
Herbie. Oh, my goodness.
202
00:12:46,699 --> 00:12:48,633
Oh! Uh.
203
00:12:48,701 --> 00:12:50,635
We're having chicken chow mein.
204
00:12:50,703 --> 00:12:52,984
I copied the recipe
out of Mom's cookbook.
205
00:12:53,039 --> 00:12:56,790
Except there wasn't any chicken,
so we used our imagination.
206
00:12:56,859 --> 00:12:59,977
Did you use tuna instead?
That works very nicely.
207
00:13:00,046 --> 00:13:02,680
Yes, I know, but we didn't
have any of that either.
208
00:13:02,748 --> 00:13:04,682
Our mom uses it sometimes too.
209
00:13:04,750 --> 00:13:08,903
We used another
fish... sardines.
210
00:13:08,972 --> 00:13:12,906
Ah. Sardine chow mein.
How... interesting, Herbie.
211
00:13:12,975 --> 00:13:17,478
I made delicious bacon-lettuce-and-tomato
sandwiches on toast.
212
00:13:17,547 --> 00:13:20,999
They look wonderful, Laurie,
absolutely scrumptious.
213
00:13:21,067 --> 00:13:23,601
You'd better not eat it.
The bacon isn't cooked.
214
00:13:23,670 --> 00:13:27,171
Is it my fault that I'm not
allowed to use the stove?
215
00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:30,608
Well, apparently, somebody is,
because I smell something burning.
216
00:13:30,677 --> 00:13:34,128
My cherries jubilee! I left
it flaming in the kitchen!
217
00:13:35,965 --> 00:13:37,699
Oh!
218
00:13:42,355 --> 00:13:44,355
Please, don't help.
219
00:13:45,358 --> 00:13:48,025
I'm hungry! I'm hungry!
220
00:13:48,094 --> 00:13:50,205
Terrific. The house
is burning down,
221
00:13:50,229 --> 00:13:52,463
and all he thinks
about is being hungry.
222
00:13:53,466 --> 00:13:55,666
Be flexible, dear. Be flexible.
223
00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:02,457
Oh.
224
00:14:10,950 --> 00:14:13,050
Oh, Cecil laid
those out for you.
225
00:14:13,119 --> 00:14:15,531
I tell you, this is crazy.
226
00:14:15,555 --> 00:14:18,789
You know, I spend most of
my time cleaning clogged drains.
227
00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:23,293
I'm a plumber, you know. And now a
real emperor is asking me for a loan.
228
00:14:23,362 --> 00:14:25,346
This must be your fantasy too.
229
00:14:25,414 --> 00:14:27,598
What do you really
do? Does it matter?
230
00:14:27,666 --> 00:14:30,634
For this weekend,
I'm your queen.
231
00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:34,338
Gosh. You know that
Roarke... He thinks of everything.
232
00:14:42,415 --> 00:14:44,348
Well, Mrs. Grayson,
233
00:14:44,417 --> 00:14:47,751
your daughter has met Dr. Block,
so her fantasy has begun.
234
00:14:47,820 --> 00:14:50,165
But tell me. How is
yours coming along?
235
00:14:50,189 --> 00:14:53,874
Her fantasy? You mean
they both have fantasies?
236
00:14:53,943 --> 00:14:57,695
Mrs. Grayson's fantasy was for her daughter
to live out her doctorial thesis...
237
00:14:57,764 --> 00:15:02,883
and find out just how easy the life of the
American housewife and mother really is.
238
00:15:02,952 --> 00:15:05,786
Conrad! No!
239
00:15:05,855 --> 00:15:07,822
Oh, Mr. Roarke, right now,
240
00:15:07,891 --> 00:15:10,708
I... I'm not so sure how
good an idea that was.
241
00:15:10,777 --> 00:15:14,128
You fear your daughter may
lose all her confidence. Is that it?
242
00:15:14,197 --> 00:15:18,766
Well, yes, I suppose so. You
see, I'm really very proud of her.
243
00:15:18,834 --> 00:15:21,786
She worked so hard
getting through school.
244
00:15:21,854 --> 00:15:24,255
But you're not sure how
much she really knows.
245
00:15:24,324 --> 00:15:26,206
Or does not know.
246
00:15:26,275 --> 00:15:30,345
Mom! Can you give me a
hand with this canned stuff?
247
00:15:30,413 --> 00:15:32,513
Oh, I, uh... I guess so.
248
00:15:32,582 --> 00:15:34,515
Coming, dear.
249
00:15:36,853 --> 00:15:40,804
How strange it is what a
parent wants for a child...
250
00:15:40,873 --> 00:15:43,841
often satisfies neither of them.
251
00:15:48,164 --> 00:15:51,332
And I don't expect any more
problems like I had at lunch either.
252
00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:53,601
Oh, and why is that, dear?
253
00:15:53,669 --> 00:15:57,739
Because I'm now being very specific
about how I want the children to behave.
254
00:15:57,807 --> 00:16:01,075
I've even given them a list of
things to do while we're in the market.
255
00:16:01,144 --> 00:16:03,778
Good. Gail! Gail! Quick!
256
00:16:03,847 --> 00:16:06,614
Igor took a string of
sausage from the counter,
257
00:16:06,682 --> 00:16:10,384
and when Conrad tried to
put it back, he fell in the freezer.
258
00:16:10,453 --> 00:16:14,722
And when Herbie tried to pull him
out, he stood on a shelf full of cans.
259
00:16:14,791 --> 00:16:18,125
Oh, no! Help! Help!
260
00:16:18,194 --> 00:16:21,328
Oh, no! Help! Help!
261
00:16:21,398 --> 00:16:25,532
Lady, what kind of a circus
are you running... Oh, Herbie!
262
00:16:25,601 --> 00:16:29,020
- Why did you let Igorinto the store?
- You didn't tell me not to.
263
00:16:29,088 --> 00:16:31,216
Help me get outta
here! I didn't tell you not...
264
00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:33,202
Maybe you weren't
specific enough, dear.
265
00:16:33,226 --> 00:16:36,277
All right. Get
the dog outside...
266
00:16:36,345 --> 00:16:38,323
while I help Junior get
out of the freezer here.
267
00:16:38,347 --> 00:16:40,314
Come on, Igor.
268
00:17:12,715 --> 00:17:16,717
♪♪
269
00:17:31,701 --> 00:17:34,702
The king and queen are
always the first to dance.
270
00:17:34,771 --> 00:17:38,171
Okay, but I'm not
exactly Fred Astaire.
271
00:17:58,077 --> 00:18:01,279
You know, they're really
acting like I am for real.
272
00:18:01,347 --> 00:18:04,548
Hmm. Perhaps because
you look so much like a king.
273
00:18:04,617 --> 00:18:08,886
Oh, yes? They oughta see
me lying flat in a crawl hole,
274
00:18:08,954 --> 00:18:12,055
trying to repair a
broken water main.
275
00:18:20,132 --> 00:18:24,102
♪♪
276
00:18:24,170 --> 00:18:26,210
Your Highness. Good evening.
277
00:18:27,623 --> 00:18:30,291
Your Sublime Majesty,
your pardon. ♪♪
278
00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:35,362
But it's become most urgent that
we pursue the subject of our loan.
279
00:18:35,431 --> 00:18:37,431
Well...
280
00:18:42,505 --> 00:18:45,305
Why did you do that?
281
00:18:45,374 --> 00:18:47,407
After all, he's a real emperor.
282
00:18:47,476 --> 00:18:49,527
I know. I was at his coronation.
283
00:18:49,595 --> 00:18:53,897
Why does he persist in
talking about the loan?
284
00:18:55,368 --> 00:18:58,247
You were at his coronation?
285
00:18:58,271 --> 00:19:00,587
If I were truly a queen,
I might have been.
286
00:19:00,656 --> 00:19:03,691
No, no, no. You said you were.
287
00:19:03,759 --> 00:19:06,159
And out by the pool,
288
00:19:06,229 --> 00:19:10,797
Emperor Bakota told me that we
had talked about the loan in the past.
289
00:19:12,368 --> 00:19:14,513
I'm getting the feeling that
something's going on around here...
290
00:19:14,537 --> 00:19:16,470
that I don't know
anything about.
291
00:19:17,573 --> 00:19:19,607
Perhaps we should...
return to the table.
292
00:19:23,212 --> 00:19:26,280
Your Majesty, a moment
of your time, please.
293
00:19:26,349 --> 00:19:28,282
Uh, sire,
294
00:19:29,552 --> 00:19:31,752
there are some matters
between our two countries...
295
00:19:31,820 --> 00:19:34,154
which require
immediate attention.
296
00:19:34,223 --> 00:19:35,956
Such as?
297
00:19:36,025 --> 00:19:39,393
The new import duty you
announced last week, for one.
298
00:19:39,462 --> 00:19:42,914
The joint dredging operation
at Gudow Point for another.
299
00:19:42,982 --> 00:19:47,317
The shutdown has thrown
3,000 of our workers out of a job.
300
00:19:47,386 --> 00:19:49,937
Please, Ambassador Soro,
301
00:19:50,005 --> 00:19:53,085
I realize that all of these
matters are very important,
302
00:19:53,142 --> 00:19:56,476
but... I cannot discuss
them with you tonight.
303
00:19:56,545 --> 00:19:59,580
Is anything wrong,
Your Highness?
304
00:20:03,636 --> 00:20:06,554
Would you please excuse
me for a few minutes?
305
00:20:08,057 --> 00:20:10,057
Is something wrong, Albert?
306
00:20:20,620 --> 00:20:23,554
Something is wrong. I
don't know what exactly,
307
00:20:23,623 --> 00:20:26,190
but something is terribly wrong.
308
00:20:40,856 --> 00:20:42,789
I think he suspects.
309
00:20:50,516 --> 00:20:53,150
Then there really is a
kingdom of Carpathia.
310
00:20:53,218 --> 00:20:56,353
There is indeed. And
if you turn the page,
311
00:20:56,422 --> 00:20:59,624
you'll see a picture of
the real ruling King Albert.
312
00:21:03,296 --> 00:21:06,613
- Is this a trick?
- No trick.
313
00:21:07,700 --> 00:21:10,434
But... he really looks like me.
314
00:21:12,822 --> 00:21:14,902
Will you turn the
page again, please?
315
00:21:22,164 --> 00:21:24,715
You're the real queen.
316
00:21:26,485 --> 00:21:28,786
Or is she a look-alike too?
317
00:21:28,855 --> 00:21:31,105
No. You are indeed
in the presence...
318
00:21:31,173 --> 00:21:33,741
of Queen Aurora of Carpathia.
319
00:21:35,194 --> 00:21:37,845
Oh, well, uh,
320
00:21:37,913 --> 00:21:40,814
Your Royal Majesty, I'm, uh...
321
00:21:40,883 --> 00:21:44,167
I'm sorry. I mean...
322
00:21:46,272 --> 00:21:48,205
Well, then where...
323
00:21:48,274 --> 00:21:50,507
Where is the real King Albert?
324
00:21:50,576 --> 00:21:55,011
Four weeks ago, he was
killed in a motorboat accident.
325
00:21:55,080 --> 00:22:00,217
So far, we've been able to keep
the news from the outside world.
326
00:22:00,286 --> 00:22:03,721
But wh-why would
you do all of this?
327
00:22:03,789 --> 00:22:05,756
Mr. Miller,
328
00:22:05,825 --> 00:22:09,877
much like the relationship
Monaco has with France,
329
00:22:09,946 --> 00:22:13,347
unless the tiny kingdom
of Carpathia has a king,
330
00:22:13,415 --> 00:22:15,616
or, at any rate, a
male heir to the throne,
331
00:22:15,684 --> 00:22:19,370
it will be annexed by
the nation at its border...
332
00:22:19,438 --> 00:22:22,205
The one represented
by Ambassador Soro.
333
00:22:22,274 --> 00:22:24,575
- Soro?
- Mm-hmm.
334
00:22:24,644 --> 00:22:28,195
Well, no wonder... No wonder
he's been looking at me so strangely.
335
00:22:28,263 --> 00:22:31,549
He's an evil man. He's the
reason that I asked Mr. Roarke...
336
00:22:31,617 --> 00:22:33,784
to arrange this weekend.
337
00:22:33,853 --> 00:22:36,487
You were not the
only one with a fantasy.
338
00:22:36,556 --> 00:22:40,090
- And Soro is suspicious.
- Yes.
339
00:22:40,159 --> 00:22:43,827
I'm trying to keep Carpathia
from being swallowed whole,
340
00:22:43,896 --> 00:22:48,649
at least until elections are held in
Ambassador Soro's country next month.
341
00:22:48,717 --> 00:22:52,152
Hopefully, his party
will be voted out...
342
00:22:52,221 --> 00:22:57,257
and one more sympathetic to Carpathia's
independent freedom will be voted in.
343
00:22:58,711 --> 00:23:02,930
So what you needed was a
sucker that looked like the king.
344
00:23:02,999 --> 00:23:05,098
And I filled the bill, right?
345
00:23:06,585 --> 00:23:08,986
Mr. Miller, your fantasy...
346
00:23:09,055 --> 00:23:12,089
was to be treated
like a king, was it not?
347
00:23:12,158 --> 00:23:14,291
Yes.
348
00:23:14,360 --> 00:23:17,011
But you've been using me.
349
00:23:17,079 --> 00:23:21,198
I mean, I came here
for a fantasy, to have fun.
350
00:23:21,267 --> 00:23:25,903
And you've been using
me like-like a... like a pawn...
351
00:23:25,972 --> 00:23:28,755
in some lousy game of politics.
352
00:23:28,824 --> 00:23:30,858
You have every
right to be angry.
353
00:23:30,926 --> 00:23:32,960
You're damn right I do.
354
00:23:33,028 --> 00:23:35,562
I have a mind to go out
there to the ballroom...
355
00:23:35,631 --> 00:23:38,065
and blow the
whistle on all of you.
356
00:23:38,133 --> 00:23:40,467
If you do, in 24 hours,
357
00:23:40,536 --> 00:23:43,470
Soro's troops will have
overrun my country,
358
00:23:43,539 --> 00:23:47,725
and that will be the end of
freedom for three million people.
359
00:23:47,794 --> 00:23:53,030
I was trying to buy a little
time for the good of my country.
360
00:23:53,098 --> 00:23:55,733
But maybe I was trying
to do it the wrong way.
361
00:23:55,802 --> 00:23:57,784
I'm very sorry.
362
00:24:06,044 --> 00:24:09,813
The decision is
yours, Mr. Miller.
363
00:24:22,745 --> 00:24:24,678
The children are asleep.
364
00:24:24,747 --> 00:24:27,915
What do you want me
to do with these towels?
365
00:24:27,983 --> 00:24:29,917
Sweetheart?
366
00:24:31,253 --> 00:24:34,054
Oh, the poor girl.
367
00:24:49,071 --> 00:24:51,004
Sleep tight.
368
00:25:02,184 --> 00:25:04,851
♪♪
369
00:25:20,703 --> 00:25:22,736
Your Majesty.
370
00:25:37,452 --> 00:25:40,654
Boss, you think he's
gonna blow the whistle?
371
00:25:40,722 --> 00:25:42,656
Shh! Be quiet, Tattoo.
372
00:25:51,233 --> 00:25:55,135
May the king now
finish the dance...
373
00:25:55,204 --> 00:25:57,671
he and the queen
started an hour ago?
374
00:25:59,474 --> 00:26:03,610
Yes. Yes, he most certainly may.
375
00:26:16,892 --> 00:26:20,471
You know, if we are going to
convince Ambassador Soro...
376
00:26:20,495 --> 00:26:22,929
that I am really the king,
377
00:26:22,998 --> 00:26:26,900
I think you had better spend
some time briefing me...
378
00:26:26,969 --> 00:26:30,003
on the domestic
issues of Carpathia.
379
00:26:37,812 --> 00:26:41,798
Kids, I've got a
new joke for you.
380
00:26:41,867 --> 00:26:44,334
This is a funny one.
381
00:26:44,403 --> 00:26:46,937
On my way here, I met a drunk.
382
00:26:47,006 --> 00:26:49,606
He stood in front
of a parking meter,
383
00:26:49,675 --> 00:26:52,759
put a penny inside
of it and said,
384
00:26:52,828 --> 00:26:54,778
"I weigh 10 minutes."
385
00:26:58,700 --> 00:27:00,834
"I weigh 10
minutes." You get it?
386
00:27:00,903 --> 00:27:03,587
He thought the
meter was a scale.
387
00:27:06,141 --> 00:27:08,386
Uh, Tattoo, perhaps
you should remember...
388
00:27:08,410 --> 00:27:12,079
none of your audience has ever
seen a parking meter, you see.
389
00:27:12,147 --> 00:27:14,081
So, uh... But, boss,
390
00:27:14,149 --> 00:27:16,849
they did not laugh
at any of my jokes.
391
00:27:20,005 --> 00:27:24,257
You stupid monkey.
What do you know?
392
00:27:26,394 --> 00:27:29,763
I think I have a very
unusual washing technique.
393
00:27:29,832 --> 00:27:33,133
I get the feeling I keep doing the
same load over and over again.
394
00:27:33,202 --> 00:27:37,020
I'm sure you'll work it
out, dear. All mothers do.
395
00:27:37,089 --> 00:27:39,857
You're enjoying
this, aren't you?
396
00:27:41,393 --> 00:27:44,078
Well, it's time to see
who wants what for lunch.
397
00:27:44,146 --> 00:27:47,948
And after that, I'm going to take a
well-earned rest. Oh, that would be nice.
398
00:27:48,016 --> 00:27:50,495
By the way, dear, what
have the children been doing...
399
00:27:50,519 --> 00:27:53,564
while you've been up to your
elbows in harsh detergents?
400
00:27:53,588 --> 00:27:55,539
They've been
watching television.
401
00:27:55,607 --> 00:27:58,075
And don't accuse me of
using the tube as a babysitter.
402
00:27:58,143 --> 00:28:02,579
I selected a very stimulating,
educational program on the life of a moose.
403
00:28:02,647 --> 00:28:04,564
And they were fascinated.
404
00:28:04,633 --> 00:28:08,001
The night is dark,
the moon is full,
405
00:28:08,069 --> 00:28:11,871
and soon the werewolf
will walk the forest... No!
406
00:28:11,940 --> 00:28:15,074
Hey, you shut the good part off.
407
00:28:15,144 --> 00:28:17,611
The only thing that was
good for was nightmares.
408
00:28:18,747 --> 00:28:21,798
But if you're looking
for something to do,
409
00:28:21,867 --> 00:28:25,335
I saw some great
books on the lives of...
410
00:28:25,404 --> 00:28:29,256
- Where's Laurie?
- She took Igor for a walk
down to the beach.
411
00:28:29,325 --> 00:28:32,826
That's an awfully long walk,
and... and then there's that cliff.
412
00:28:32,894 --> 00:28:34,928
How long has she been gone?
413
00:28:34,996 --> 00:28:38,449
Don't worry. Igor's a good
watchdog. He'll take care of her.
414
00:28:41,954 --> 00:28:44,170
Well... Laurie's hat.
415
00:28:44,239 --> 00:28:46,234
Oh, he's soaking wet.
416
00:28:46,258 --> 00:28:49,242
Something must
have happened to her.
417
00:28:50,796 --> 00:28:53,396
Igor wants us to follow
him. He knows where she is.
418
00:28:53,465 --> 00:28:57,134
No. Herbie, Conrad, stay
here and stay out of trouble.
419
00:28:57,202 --> 00:28:59,236
Come on, Mom. Let's go.
420
00:28:59,304 --> 00:29:01,537
You turn on the
TV. You turn it on.
421
00:29:01,606 --> 00:29:05,608
You turn it on. All
right, I'll turn it on.
422
00:29:05,677 --> 00:29:08,745
Behind you! The werewolf!
423
00:29:13,285 --> 00:29:16,703
Delightful picnic. I
did not see one ant.
424
00:29:16,771 --> 00:29:19,656
Their encroachment was
forbidden by King Albert.
425
00:29:21,726 --> 00:29:25,395
Ambassador Soro, you
mentioned last night...
426
00:29:25,463 --> 00:29:29,149
that you were disturbed by our
raising of the import duty on tea.
427
00:29:29,218 --> 00:29:32,169
Since it is we who
export it to you, yes.
428
00:29:32,237 --> 00:29:35,889
After you first
import it from India.
429
00:29:35,957 --> 00:29:39,175
Oh. I also think I
should tell you...
430
00:29:39,244 --> 00:29:42,929
that we are going to raise the
export tax on our Carpathé perfumes.
431
00:29:42,998 --> 00:29:47,634
But that's our principal
import from Carpathia.
432
00:29:47,703 --> 00:29:50,103
You are charging us more?
433
00:29:50,172 --> 00:29:53,289
It seems that that's the only
language your country understands.
434
00:29:54,476 --> 00:29:57,677
Your Highness seems
refreshingly candid today.
435
00:29:57,746 --> 00:30:01,998
Perhaps you are ready to
discuss our dredging problem.
436
00:30:02,067 --> 00:30:05,702
Yes, as a matter of fact, I am.
437
00:30:05,771 --> 00:30:10,207
The dredging was stopped because
of a breakdown in the pumping system,
438
00:30:10,275 --> 00:30:13,927
a breakdown that was
caused by excessive pressure...
439
00:30:13,995 --> 00:30:16,262
built up in your
part of the system.
440
00:30:17,399 --> 00:30:21,234
Surely, that can be...
441
00:30:21,303 --> 00:30:23,770
mere speculation, Your Highness.
442
00:30:23,838 --> 00:30:26,907
On the contrary, Mr. Soro.
443
00:30:26,975 --> 00:30:29,642
It is the basics
of good plumbing.
444
00:30:29,711 --> 00:30:32,779
You see, I looked over the
blueprints of the system last night.
445
00:30:32,847 --> 00:30:35,648
And that damage could
have only been done...
446
00:30:35,717 --> 00:30:38,351
by a blowout of
the gasket drums...
447
00:30:38,420 --> 00:30:41,504
on your country's
side of the system.
448
00:30:41,573 --> 00:30:43,556
Sire, are you telling me...
449
00:30:43,625 --> 00:30:47,544
that you intend to bill us for
the dredge breakdown damage?
450
00:30:49,214 --> 00:30:52,649
If a plumber came into your
house and did a job like that,
451
00:30:52,718 --> 00:30:54,634
you'd take him to court.
452
00:30:54,702 --> 00:30:57,804
Yes, of course,
we're going to bill you.
453
00:31:00,876 --> 00:31:02,809
My dear.
454
00:31:09,818 --> 00:31:13,587
Strange. Very strange.
455
00:31:13,656 --> 00:31:16,923
I have never known any
king to be so knowledgeable...
456
00:31:16,992 --> 00:31:20,444
about underwater plumbing...
457
00:31:20,512 --> 00:31:25,382
Let alone our dear, unknowledgeable
friend, King Albert of Carpathia.
458
00:31:25,451 --> 00:31:30,169
Well, someone's certainly
filling him in with a lot of answers.
459
00:31:31,723 --> 00:31:35,558
Either that, or he's
not the Albert we know.
460
00:31:45,637 --> 00:31:48,838
Well, how did I do?
461
00:31:48,907 --> 00:31:51,018
There were many
times when I wished...
462
00:31:51,042 --> 00:31:54,644
the real Albert would
have stood up like that.
463
00:31:54,713 --> 00:31:59,382
But Albert, I'm afraid,
was still a bit of a playboy.
464
00:31:59,451 --> 00:32:03,220
He didn't care
about politics much.
465
00:32:03,288 --> 00:32:05,222
Did you love him very much?
466
00:32:07,159 --> 00:32:09,404
I suppose this
will sound strange,
467
00:32:09,428 --> 00:32:12,596
but I... didn't love him at all.
468
00:32:12,664 --> 00:32:16,399
Our marriage was
arranged my our families.
469
00:32:16,468 --> 00:32:19,369
To tell you the truth,
the real King Albert...
470
00:32:19,438 --> 00:32:21,438
was not a very likable man.
471
00:32:22,641 --> 00:32:25,642
Well, I'm sorry.
472
00:32:25,710 --> 00:32:28,111
Do you really mean that?
473
00:32:28,180 --> 00:32:30,130
Well, yes, of course I do.
474
00:32:30,198 --> 00:32:34,951
You're too nice a person to
be forced into an unhappy life.
475
00:32:36,421 --> 00:32:41,090
I'm so nice I keep setting
you up. What do you mean?
476
00:32:41,159 --> 00:32:43,510
Well, there's no real proof,
477
00:32:43,579 --> 00:32:46,746
but what we suspect
is Albert's death...
478
00:32:46,815 --> 00:32:50,950
was not as accidental
as people tried to make it.
479
00:32:51,019 --> 00:32:53,352
You mean he was assassinated?
480
00:32:55,057 --> 00:32:58,792
Soro? We think so.
481
00:32:58,860 --> 00:33:02,929
Annexing Carpathia would
ensure his party's reelection.
482
00:33:02,998 --> 00:33:06,199
Well, then they
might try that again.
483
00:33:06,268 --> 00:33:08,201
I'm sorry.
484
00:33:08,270 --> 00:33:10,836
Being king isn't like you
thought it would be, is it?
485
00:33:10,905 --> 00:33:13,390
No, it's sure not.
486
00:33:13,459 --> 00:33:16,560
It isn't all caviar and
pheasant under glass.
487
00:33:16,628 --> 00:33:21,464
A ruler is besieged by
people who want big loans,
488
00:33:21,533 --> 00:33:24,651
others who demand lower taxes.
489
00:33:24,719 --> 00:33:28,288
I should never have asked for
a proxy king for this weekend.
490
00:33:28,356 --> 00:33:30,440
I had no right.
491
00:33:32,511 --> 00:33:34,878
Just be glad that you're...
492
00:33:34,946 --> 00:33:36,946
You're going home tomorrow.
493
00:33:41,987 --> 00:33:45,455
Laurie, where are you?
Laurie, it's me, Gail!
494
00:33:45,524 --> 00:33:47,924
Laurie, can you hear me?
495
00:33:47,992 --> 00:33:50,460
Igor! Laurie! Laurie!
496
00:33:50,529 --> 00:33:54,230
Laurie! It's no use, Mother.
497
00:33:54,299 --> 00:33:56,619
Not only is Laurie missing,
but the dog's gone too.
498
00:33:56,668 --> 00:33:59,035
Gail, I think it's Igor.
499
00:33:59,104 --> 00:34:01,037
Laurie! Can you hear me?
500
00:34:09,047 --> 00:34:10,980
Laurie. Laurie.
501
00:34:11,049 --> 00:34:12,949
Laurie.
502
00:34:13,017 --> 00:34:16,286
It sure took you a
long time to save me.
503
00:34:16,354 --> 00:34:18,588
If I'd have been
in real trouble,
504
00:34:18,656 --> 00:34:21,007
I'd probably be dead by now.
505
00:34:22,277 --> 00:34:24,210
You set this whole thing up...
506
00:34:24,279 --> 00:34:27,514
Igor, your hat...
The whole thing.
507
00:34:28,617 --> 00:34:31,217
It works a lot better on Lassie.
508
00:34:31,286 --> 00:34:34,521
I guess Igor
isn't star material.
509
00:34:35,990 --> 00:34:39,526
You're coming home with
me this instant, young lady.
510
00:34:39,594 --> 00:34:42,529
Not that way. It's slippery.
511
00:34:42,597 --> 00:34:45,115
Oh! Oh! Oh, no! You'll fall in.
512
00:34:45,183 --> 00:34:47,100
Oh, Gail!
513
00:34:50,272 --> 00:34:53,306
Laurie, you're
coming home with me.
514
00:34:53,375 --> 00:34:55,141
Oh!
515
00:35:08,941 --> 00:35:13,343
Boy, I hope Gail appreciates
these chili beans I'm makin' for lunch.
516
00:35:13,411 --> 00:35:17,163
I hope Gail appreciates
me for doing the laundry.
517
00:35:17,232 --> 00:35:19,248
Conrad, I'm gonna
go check on Gail,
518
00:35:19,318 --> 00:35:21,318
see if she found
Laurie, all right?
519
00:35:21,386 --> 00:35:24,287
You stay here and check
up on things, all right?
520
00:35:24,356 --> 00:35:28,858
Okay, Herbie. I'll clean up
around here and surprise Gail.
521
00:36:18,559 --> 00:36:21,460
The first thing we're
gonna do is get you washed.
522
00:36:22,814 --> 00:36:25,515
What on earth!
523
00:36:25,584 --> 00:36:27,767
Conrad! Herbie!
Are you all right?
524
00:36:27,836 --> 00:36:29,769
Oh, no!
525
00:36:32,306 --> 00:36:35,307
Conrad. I told you
to stay out of trouble.
526
00:36:35,376 --> 00:36:37,387
Please go to your room.
Laurie, come with me.
527
00:36:37,411 --> 00:36:40,079
We're gonna put your
clothes right in the wash.
528
00:36:40,148 --> 00:36:42,532
- Uh! Oh!
- Oh!
529
00:36:43,935 --> 00:36:45,885
I know it's the wrong
time to tell you, dear.
530
00:36:45,954 --> 00:36:48,938
Herbie seems to be missing.
531
00:36:49,007 --> 00:36:50,985
Something's wrong with Igor.
532
00:36:51,009 --> 00:36:53,660
Maybe he knows
that Herbie is dead.
533
00:36:53,728 --> 00:36:56,663
Herbie. Herbie!
534
00:36:56,731 --> 00:37:01,033
Herbie? Mother, will you please
turn off that washing machine?
535
00:37:01,102 --> 00:37:03,903
Herbie? Come out, Herbie.
536
00:37:03,972 --> 00:37:05,922
Herbie! Herbie!
537
00:37:05,990 --> 00:37:07,724
Herbie?
538
00:37:07,793 --> 00:37:09,526
Gail! Gail!
539
00:37:09,595 --> 00:37:11,956
Gail! Gail! Look what
followed me home!
540
00:37:11,980 --> 00:37:15,031
Can I keep him? Can I?
541
00:37:21,622 --> 00:37:25,124
This is the last straw.
542
00:37:25,193 --> 00:37:27,811
I don't know anything
about children.
543
00:37:27,879 --> 00:37:29,762
I don't know anything
about homemaking.
544
00:37:32,183 --> 00:37:34,417
Mother, I don't know
anything about anything!
545
00:37:34,486 --> 00:37:37,086
Oh, Gail! Gail,
where are you going?
546
00:37:49,117 --> 00:37:52,251
Oh, no. I was afraid of this.
547
00:37:52,320 --> 00:37:54,337
Why is everyone crying?
548
00:37:54,406 --> 00:37:58,608
Did we do something
wrong? No, but I sure did.
549
00:37:58,677 --> 00:38:02,156
All Gail wanted was to maybe
get a job with your father,
550
00:38:02,180 --> 00:38:04,141
and I had to mess everything up.
551
00:38:04,165 --> 00:38:07,650
- You?
- Yes, me
and my stupid fantasy...
552
00:38:07,718 --> 00:38:12,505
To show her how hard being a mother
and a housewife can be sometimes.
553
00:38:12,573 --> 00:38:16,575
Oh, she worked so
hard on her thesis.
554
00:38:16,644 --> 00:38:18,511
She's really very nice.
555
00:38:18,580 --> 00:38:21,597
One of the nicest
people I've ever known.
556
00:38:21,667 --> 00:38:24,817
It... It's just not fair
what I've done to her.
557
00:38:24,886 --> 00:38:28,354
She'll probably hate you
for the rest of your life.
558
00:38:28,423 --> 00:38:30,223
Oh!
559
00:38:31,743 --> 00:38:33,843
You're wrong, Mother.
560
00:38:33,912 --> 00:38:36,395
It was very fair.
561
00:38:36,464 --> 00:38:39,498
At least you sure opened my
eyes to how silly and stupid this is.
562
00:38:39,567 --> 00:38:41,884
Oh, it's not silly and stupid.
563
00:38:41,953 --> 00:38:45,700
Well, not all of it, and-and
some of it's quite informative.
564
00:38:45,724 --> 00:38:48,107
Oh, Gail, darling,
565
00:38:48,176 --> 00:38:52,812
I'm so very proud of you, and I...
and I've made such a mess of things.
566
00:38:52,880 --> 00:38:54,780
It's all right. There'll
be other jobs.
567
00:38:54,849 --> 00:38:56,983
Aren't you gonna
work with my father?
568
00:38:57,051 --> 00:39:00,953
No way. Not with this place
looking like this when they get back.
569
00:39:02,857 --> 00:39:05,124
Maybe we can
help you clean it up.
570
00:39:05,193 --> 00:39:07,727
Laurie, your parents are
due home in two hours.
571
00:39:07,796 --> 00:39:10,179
It would take a miracle
to clean this place up.
572
00:39:10,248 --> 00:39:12,298
We could try.
573
00:39:12,366 --> 00:39:15,885
Conrad's right. We
could try. Please, Gail?
574
00:39:17,472 --> 00:39:20,222
♪♪
575
00:39:34,472 --> 00:39:37,902
We will soon know if King
Albert is the real item...
576
00:39:37,926 --> 00:39:40,076
or merely a proxy.
577
00:39:40,145 --> 00:39:42,845
What are you going to do?
578
00:39:42,914 --> 00:39:44,831
Test him.
579
00:39:49,871 --> 00:39:53,105
Uh, Your Majesties, I
am flying out tonight.
580
00:39:53,174 --> 00:39:56,793
I hope to see you both
when again I visit Carpathia.
581
00:39:56,861 --> 00:40:00,596
Sire, I'm looking forward to
hunting boar with you again.
582
00:40:00,665 --> 00:40:04,733
It's always such a privilege
to join the royal hunting party.
583
00:40:04,802 --> 00:40:09,622
- Hunting party? You and I?
- Yes, sire.
584
00:40:09,690 --> 00:40:13,242
I've never hunted
with you in my life.
585
00:40:14,679 --> 00:40:17,279
True.
586
00:40:17,348 --> 00:40:20,083
What must I have
been thinking about?
587
00:40:20,152 --> 00:40:24,153
Yes, Ambassador Soro,
what were you thinking about?
588
00:40:24,221 --> 00:40:27,423
I... I don't know,
Your Royal Highness.
589
00:40:27,492 --> 00:40:29,875
Maybe... it is
the lack of sleep.
590
00:40:29,944 --> 00:40:31,977
The mind... it plays tricks.
591
00:40:32,046 --> 00:40:36,799
Yes. People play
tricks sometimes too.
592
00:40:36,868 --> 00:40:41,337
And some people play... deadly
tricks, if you get my meaning.
593
00:40:41,406 --> 00:40:43,906
Well,
594
00:40:43,975 --> 00:40:47,610
long may our two countries
remain friendly neighbors.
595
00:40:52,083 --> 00:40:54,183
Your Majesty.
596
00:40:54,252 --> 00:40:56,319
Is-Is it just possible
that we might be able...
597
00:40:56,387 --> 00:41:00,055
to negotiate the tax
on Carpathé perfume.
598
00:41:00,124 --> 00:41:03,259
Possible? Anything is possible.
599
00:41:03,328 --> 00:41:05,528
Thank you, Your Majesty.
600
00:41:14,105 --> 00:41:16,806
Well?
601
00:41:16,874 --> 00:41:20,242
He's Albert, all right.
602
00:41:20,312 --> 00:41:25,164
That boating accident was
a mistake in a lot of ways.
603
00:41:26,451 --> 00:41:30,903
Not only is he still alive,
604
00:41:30,972 --> 00:41:34,941
but the playboy has
grown into a man.
605
00:41:42,500 --> 00:41:45,860
I can't believe that you're almost
through in here. How are you doing?
606
00:41:45,903 --> 00:41:49,138
This is the last of the laundry, and
the kids are just finishing up the dishes.
607
00:41:49,207 --> 00:41:51,824
I thought they
finished an hour ago.
608
00:41:51,892 --> 00:41:54,522
That was before I found out they cleaned
them by having Igor lick the food off.
609
00:41:54,546 --> 00:41:57,179
Oh, children!
610
00:41:57,248 --> 00:42:00,800
Hurry. It's your parents. Quick.
Come on, kids. Get in there.
611
00:42:00,868 --> 00:42:03,770
What about the rest of these?
That's all right. Just get in there.
612
00:42:03,838 --> 00:42:05,772
Oh!
613
00:42:07,709 --> 00:42:09,809
Oh, good, kids. I love you.
614
00:42:11,079 --> 00:42:13,846
Oh. Okay.
615
00:42:13,915 --> 00:42:16,198
Once upon a time,
there were three bears...
616
00:42:16,267 --> 00:42:20,770
Mama Bear, Papa
Bear and Baby Bear.
617
00:42:20,838 --> 00:42:24,823
Oh, hello, Dr. Block. We
didn't hear you come up.
618
00:42:24,892 --> 00:42:27,012
Good evening, Mother.
Good evening, Father.
619
00:42:27,078 --> 00:42:29,078
Gail was just
reading us a story.
620
00:42:29,147 --> 00:42:31,614
Uh-huh, so I see.
621
00:42:31,683 --> 00:42:34,116
Are you sure we've
come to the right place?
622
00:42:34,185 --> 00:42:36,952
Those are our
children, aren't they?
623
00:42:37,021 --> 00:42:39,205
Of course we are, Mater.
624
00:42:39,274 --> 00:42:41,757
Don't tell me they've
been like this all weekend?
625
00:42:41,826 --> 00:42:44,410
Sure, we have.
626
00:42:49,584 --> 00:42:53,085
Then, in that case,
your thesis really works.
627
00:42:53,154 --> 00:42:55,221
Well, of course it does.
628
00:42:55,289 --> 00:42:58,924
Ah, well, then, I just
have two questions.
629
00:42:58,993 --> 00:43:02,311
Why is the book your daughter
is reading upside-down?
630
00:43:02,380 --> 00:43:07,099
And wh-why is there
a seal in my closet?
631
00:43:16,728 --> 00:43:19,361
Well, I'm glad it didn't
rain earlier today,
632
00:43:19,430 --> 00:43:22,165
spoil our picnic.
633
00:43:22,233 --> 00:43:25,151
And it was a picnic, believe me.
634
00:43:25,219 --> 00:43:28,537
All the way... The
whole terrific weekend.
635
00:43:30,574 --> 00:43:32,842
Now it's back to leaky faucets,
636
00:43:32,911 --> 00:43:36,095
brass fittings and
clogged drains.
637
00:43:37,932 --> 00:43:41,200
You know, when I said
it was terrific just now,
638
00:43:41,269 --> 00:43:45,171
I... I didn't mean being
treated like a king.
639
00:43:45,239 --> 00:43:47,173
I meant it was terrific
because of you.
640
00:43:48,910 --> 00:43:51,577
What, uh... What are
you gonna do now?
641
00:43:51,645 --> 00:43:54,913
I mean, how long do you
think you can keep them fooled?
642
00:43:56,785 --> 00:43:59,084
Long enough, I hope.
643
00:43:59,153 --> 00:44:02,955
I mean, at best,
it's only temporary.
644
00:44:03,024 --> 00:44:08,027
Sooner or later, there's bound to
be another government like Soro's.
645
00:44:08,096 --> 00:44:10,096
They'll find out
that there is no king,
646
00:44:10,165 --> 00:44:13,149
and you won't have
a country anymore.
647
00:44:17,005 --> 00:44:19,572
Look,
648
00:44:19,640 --> 00:44:21,941
I know I'm not the greatest.
649
00:44:22,009 --> 00:44:25,895
And Topeka, Kansas,
is not a magic kingdom.
650
00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:31,633
Oh, it's crazy.
651
00:44:31,702 --> 00:44:34,804
I was just about to...
652
00:44:34,873 --> 00:44:37,890
ask you to... marry me...
653
00:44:37,958 --> 00:44:42,861
and come back with me
and be a plumber's wife.
654
00:44:44,114 --> 00:44:47,166
- You too, Ernie?
- What?
655
00:44:49,103 --> 00:44:51,888
I'd love to be a plumber's
wife or anything with you.
656
00:44:53,508 --> 00:44:56,993
But right now, there are a lot
of people depending on me.
657
00:44:59,780 --> 00:45:02,732
Everybody believed that
you were the king, even Soro.
658
00:45:02,800 --> 00:45:07,619
A gentler, nicer, more
considerate king...
659
00:45:09,174 --> 00:45:12,074
they never knew
when Albert was alive.
660
00:45:13,878 --> 00:45:16,762
I think I know what
you're about to say, but...
661
00:45:16,831 --> 00:45:20,883
Would you go ahead and say it
anyway, because... I don't believe it yet.
662
00:45:21,953 --> 00:45:24,537
I realize that Carpathia...
663
00:45:24,605 --> 00:45:27,940
isn't half as big as
the city of Topeka...
664
00:45:28,009 --> 00:45:31,443
and you'd have to go by the
name of Albert instead of Ernie.
665
00:45:33,548 --> 00:45:36,599
Oh, I have no right to ask you.
666
00:45:36,667 --> 00:45:38,718
Oh, yes, you do.
667
00:45:39,854 --> 00:45:43,038
My whole adult life, I've...
668
00:45:44,925 --> 00:45:48,460
I have never said
this to a woman...
669
00:45:48,529 --> 00:45:50,529
and really meant it.
670
00:45:51,566 --> 00:45:54,583
But... I do love you.
671
00:45:56,136 --> 00:45:58,437
I guess what I'm saying is that,
672
00:45:58,506 --> 00:46:01,373
Your Royal Majesty, if...
673
00:46:01,459 --> 00:46:04,127
If you want a king...
674
00:46:04,195 --> 00:46:07,964
who in his spare time...
675
00:46:08,032 --> 00:46:11,550
can repair all the
plumbing in the castle,
676
00:46:13,188 --> 00:46:15,137
Well, I...
677
00:46:15,205 --> 00:46:17,923
I guess... I'm your guy.
678
00:46:31,021 --> 00:46:32,999
Mrs. Grayson. Oh,
thank you so much.
679
00:46:33,023 --> 00:46:35,368
You're welcome. Miss
Grayson. Thank you.
680
00:46:35,392 --> 00:46:39,328
Well, ladies, I hope you enjoyed
your visit. We certainly did.
681
00:46:39,396 --> 00:46:42,297
I learned an awful lot,
Mr. Roarke. Well, we both did.
682
00:46:42,366 --> 00:46:44,678
What about your
job with Dr. Block?
683
00:46:44,702 --> 00:46:48,153
I start next week, despite
making every mistake possible.
684
00:46:48,222 --> 00:46:50,667
He felt that if I could bring
his three kids together...
685
00:46:50,691 --> 00:46:52,736
on a joint effort like
they had to make,
686
00:46:52,760 --> 00:46:54,888
I must have something
to offer after all.
687
00:46:54,912 --> 00:46:58,280
Oh, I am so pleased.
Oh, thank you.
688
00:46:58,349 --> 00:47:00,966
One thesis... from me to you.
689
00:47:01,034 --> 00:47:03,252
And good-bye, Mr. Roarke.
Thank you so much.
690
00:47:03,321 --> 00:47:06,055
Good-bye, Tattoo.
Good-bye, Miss Grayson.
691
00:47:09,444 --> 00:47:11,571
Ah. Good morning. Good morning.
692
00:47:11,595 --> 00:47:13,512
Your Royal Highnesses.
693
00:47:13,580 --> 00:47:16,598
You know, when I came here,
I never expected a fantasy...
694
00:47:16,668 --> 00:47:18,801
that would last for
the rest of my life.
695
00:47:18,870 --> 00:47:22,121
And I never expected
to leave with King Albert.
696
00:47:22,189 --> 00:47:24,223
I am pleased you're
both so happy...
697
00:47:24,292 --> 00:47:26,708
and, uh, in love.
698
00:47:26,777 --> 00:47:29,123
Your Highness. Yes?
699
00:47:29,147 --> 00:47:32,965
Thank you very much for fixing
the plumbing in Bungalow Number 4.
700
00:47:33,034 --> 00:47:34,967
Oh, forget it.
701
00:47:35,035 --> 00:47:36,969
Thank you very much. Au revoir.
702
00:47:37,037 --> 00:47:40,357
You're very welcome.
Good-bye. Enchanté.
703
00:47:43,127 --> 00:47:47,196
You asked a king
to fix the plumbing?
704
00:47:47,264 --> 00:47:49,565
Well, the queen didn't know how.
52726
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