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1
00:00:03,542 --> 00:00:05,501
And so I thought I'd give
2
00:00:05,544 --> 00:00:07,851
investigative journalism
a whirl.
3
00:00:07,895 --> 00:00:10,462
Well, get a hot scoop,
follow some leads,
4
00:00:10,506 --> 00:00:12,160
write an expose.
5
00:00:12,203 --> 00:00:13,988
Do I... know you?
6
00:00:14,031 --> 00:00:15,816
Hayley Smith.
Remember the name.
7
00:00:15,859 --> 00:00:17,208
I'm gonna be
a famous journalist,
8
00:00:17,252 --> 00:00:19,602
really blow the lid
off something.
9
00:00:19,645 --> 00:00:21,473
Not sure what yet.
10
00:00:21,517 --> 00:00:23,016
But, hey,
that's what the class is for,
11
00:00:23,040 --> 00:00:24,085
nahwhatimeanbrah?
12
00:00:25,303 --> 00:00:27,262
Stomp the presses.
13
00:00:29,481 --> 00:00:31,744
Cool butt.
Congratulations.
14
00:00:37,707 --> 00:00:41,189
Journalism. Is. Dead.
15
00:00:41,232 --> 00:00:43,234
This class is mainly gonna focus
16
00:00:43,278 --> 00:00:46,020
on picking out
the best GIFs for listicles.
17
00:00:46,063 --> 00:00:48,065
That's what journalism is now.
18
00:00:48,936 --> 00:00:52,200
Oh, no!
19
00:01:25,450 --> 00:01:27,888
Mmm!
Oh, my God, Franny.
20
00:01:27,931 --> 00:01:30,151
Are you kidding me
with this watermelon?
21
00:01:30,194 --> 00:01:32,457
Does anyone love watermelon
more than us?
22
00:01:32,501 --> 00:01:35,417
Is this the best day
of our whole lives?
23
00:01:40,726 --> 00:01:43,947
You gonna say something or...?
24
00:01:43,991 --> 00:01:45,035
Watermelon?
25
00:01:45,079 --> 00:01:47,168
I'm too depressed.
26
00:01:47,211 --> 00:01:50,693
Okay. Mmm.
27
00:01:50,736 --> 00:01:53,826
It's just that, I was really
excited about journalism.
28
00:01:53,870 --> 00:01:56,394
But my professor said
journalism's dead.
29
00:01:56,438 --> 00:01:57,787
W-What do you think?
30
00:01:57,830 --> 00:02:00,268
Should I continue
or just give up?
31
00:02:00,311 --> 00:02:01,332
You could continue,
32
00:02:01,356 --> 00:02:02,531
you could give up...
33
00:02:02,574 --> 00:02:04,315
Right.
T-That's what I'm asking.
34
00:02:04,359 --> 00:02:05,751
I mean, should I look
for a story?
35
00:02:05,795 --> 00:02:07,492
Or should I drop the class?
36
00:02:07,536 --> 00:02:10,582
Any way you want it,
that's the way you need it.
37
00:02:10,626 --> 00:02:12,149
Any way you want it.
38
00:02:12,193 --> 00:02:13,716
You're not saying anything.
39
00:02:13,759 --> 00:02:15,674
I-I want your advice.
40
00:02:15,718 --> 00:02:17,981
Hello?
41
00:02:18,025 --> 00:02:20,505
Beans?
In a salad?
42
00:02:20,549 --> 00:02:21,985
Okay...
43
00:02:22,029 --> 00:02:23,944
Are you pretending
to be on the phone?
44
00:02:26,685 --> 00:02:28,209
Cool.
45
00:02:28,252 --> 00:02:29,993
Well, I'm gonna go get high
in my room
46
00:02:30,037 --> 00:02:32,256
at 2:00 p.m.
on a Wednesday.
47
00:02:32,300 --> 00:02:34,171
Do you have any thoughts
on that?
48
00:02:34,215 --> 00:02:37,958
Wednesday... it's not spelled
how it sounds.
49
00:02:41,787 --> 00:02:45,008
- The was that?
- My parenting style, baby!
50
00:02:45,052 --> 00:02:48,403
You know my philosophy...
"Benevolent Neglect."
51
00:02:48,446 --> 00:02:50,144
I don't know.
52
00:02:50,187 --> 00:02:52,755
As a mother, you can't
be there all the time.
53
00:02:52,798 --> 00:02:55,540
Eventually, you're going to
let her down.
54
00:02:55,584 --> 00:02:57,760
So how do you prepare her
for that?
55
00:02:57,803 --> 00:03:00,806
By letting her down early
and often.
56
00:03:00,850 --> 00:03:03,026
So, you're saying you're not
gonna be there for her.
57
00:03:03,070 --> 00:03:06,812
Yes.
And that's for her, ya dig?
58
00:03:06,856 --> 00:03:08,510
I dig, I dig!
59
00:03:09,424 --> 00:03:11,817
What's Mrs S's problem?
60
00:03:11,861 --> 00:03:13,645
My babe is lost.
61
00:03:13,689 --> 00:03:15,908
Just give
my babe some guidance.
62
00:03:15,952 --> 00:03:17,910
Maybe I'm not lost.
63
00:03:17,954 --> 00:03:20,870
And maybe my professor is wrong.
64
00:03:20,913 --> 00:03:24,830
And maybe I already know
everything about journalism.
65
00:03:24,874 --> 00:03:27,877
Been saying that about you
for years.
66
00:03:27,920 --> 00:03:29,313
I'm just gonna look for a story.
67
00:03:31,185 --> 00:03:33,100
That last hit was a mistake.
68
00:03:33,143 --> 00:03:34,666
I can see that now.
69
00:03:34,710 --> 00:03:36,059
I'm too high.
70
00:03:36,103 --> 00:03:38,366
Me too, babe!
71
00:03:41,151 --> 00:03:45,112
Maybe my story's
about clouds.
72
00:03:45,155 --> 00:03:48,898
Like, how...
where are they sometimes?
73
00:03:48,941 --> 00:03:50,726
Is this something?
74
00:03:50,769 --> 00:03:53,468
I have a worm in my mouth.
75
00:03:53,511 --> 00:03:57,559
"Something to do
with clouds."
76
00:04:00,344 --> 00:04:03,086
Something to do with bubbles?
77
00:04:03,130 --> 00:04:05,784
We should've brought a car.
78
00:04:05,828 --> 00:04:07,873
Stomp the presses.
79
00:04:07,917 --> 00:04:09,721
Butts.-
80
00:04:15,142 --> 00:04:17,318
Jeff, I have been noticing
81
00:04:17,361 --> 00:04:20,190
a lot of cool butts
in town recently.
82
00:04:20,234 --> 00:04:21,634
My reporter's instinct
is telling me
83
00:04:21,670 --> 00:04:23,846
to follow 'em,
find their source.
84
00:04:23,889 --> 00:04:26,414
I'm gonna follow
a different lead.
85
00:04:30,418 --> 00:04:34,857
Eat me, red spaghetti!
86
00:04:47,652 --> 00:04:49,393
HG.
87
00:04:49,437 --> 00:04:51,091
But what does it stand for?
88
00:04:51,134 --> 00:04:52,614
Holy grail!
89
00:04:52,657 --> 00:04:56,052
Stomp the premsses!
I got a hot scoomp!
90
00:04:56,096 --> 00:04:57,880
But I'll have to go undercover.
91
00:05:03,494 --> 00:05:05,540
I'm just a regular Hayley.
92
00:05:05,583 --> 00:05:06,976
My hat's in the Dumpster.
93
00:05:07,019 --> 00:05:08,891
Okay...
94
00:05:08,934 --> 00:05:10,719
Did you need to sign up
for a class?
95
00:05:10,762 --> 00:05:12,808
'Cause she's about to start.
96
00:05:12,851 --> 00:05:14,505
- Who she?
- Holly?
97
00:05:14,549 --> 00:05:17,726
HG?
The Queen of Dance Cardio?
98
00:05:17,769 --> 00:05:19,902
- Hello?
- Hello.
99
00:05:19,945 --> 00:05:21,425
We specialize
in The Holly Method,
100
00:05:21,469 --> 00:05:23,471
the only technique proven
to make you a new you.
101
00:05:23,514 --> 00:05:25,212
The first class is free.
102
00:05:25,255 --> 00:05:27,562
We will need a credit card,
though.
103
00:05:27,605 --> 00:05:29,564
The class itself is free.
104
00:05:29,607 --> 00:05:32,175
What you get from the class
costs $500.
105
00:05:32,219 --> 00:05:33,916
That's too high of a money!
106
00:05:33,959 --> 00:05:38,138
This is an expensive gym
where people have good butts.
107
00:05:38,181 --> 00:05:39,617
I don't think that's a story.
Damn.
108
00:05:39,661 --> 00:05:41,010
You look lost.
109
00:05:41,053 --> 00:05:42,533
Well, you look...
110
00:05:46,450 --> 00:05:48,931
...a-ma-ma-ma-mazing.
111
00:05:48,974 --> 00:05:50,802
You reek of weed.
112
00:05:50,846 --> 00:05:52,587
It's the middle of the day.
113
00:05:52,630 --> 00:05:54,284
It's Wednesday.
114
00:05:54,328 --> 00:05:56,156
Do you have any thoughts
on that?
115
00:05:56,199 --> 00:05:57,940
It's not spelled how it sounds?
116
00:05:57,983 --> 00:06:00,638
You're lost.
I just said so myself.
117
00:06:00,682 --> 00:06:02,205
But I can help.
118
00:06:02,249 --> 00:06:04,816
You need someone to tell you
what to do.
119
00:06:04,860 --> 00:06:05,991
You need me.
120
00:06:06,035 --> 00:06:08,124
Yes.
121
00:06:08,168 --> 00:06:09,734
- Yes, what?
- Yes, Mommy.
122
00:06:09,778 --> 00:06:11,083
You did it.
123
00:06:11,127 --> 00:06:13,260
You said the right answer.
124
00:06:21,398 --> 00:06:24,096
We gotta confuse the muscles
to get results.
125
00:06:24,140 --> 00:06:25,446
When I say leg, I mean bicep.
126
00:06:25,489 --> 00:06:26,577
Just follow me.
127
00:06:26,621 --> 00:06:28,362
I am in charge of your body now.
128
00:06:28,405 --> 00:06:29,667
Gimme an amen.
129
00:06:29,711 --> 00:06:31,365
Amen!
130
00:06:32,540 --> 00:06:33,802
Good.
131
00:06:33,845 --> 00:06:36,239
Sip some agua,
grab some protein,
132
00:06:36,283 --> 00:06:38,372
get those bank routing numbers
to Lindsay,
133
00:06:38,415 --> 00:06:39,895
and let's get back out there.
134
00:06:43,333 --> 00:06:44,682
Oh, hey, Hayley.
135
00:06:44,726 --> 00:06:46,510
How's journalism class going?
136
00:06:46,554 --> 00:06:48,643
Mom, I dropped that class
months ago.
137
00:06:48,686 --> 00:06:51,036
I am a one-class-at-a-time
kind of person.
138
00:06:51,080 --> 00:06:52,995
And right now, it's five
workout classes a day,
139
00:06:53,038 --> 00:06:54,301
seven days a week.
140
00:06:54,344 --> 00:06:56,085
But only one class at a time.
141
00:06:56,128 --> 00:06:58,305
That's a physical
limitation I have.
142
00:06:58,348 --> 00:07:00,045
Can't be in two classes at once.
143
00:07:00,089 --> 00:07:02,265
And I would if I could,
and HG knows that.
144
00:07:02,309 --> 00:07:04,049
She gets that I'm dedicated.
145
00:07:04,093 --> 00:07:06,313
She hasn't said it,
but sometimes I can feel
146
00:07:06,356 --> 00:07:07,923
her eyes graze over me,
147
00:07:07,966 --> 00:07:10,317
and I feel oceans
of approval and love.
148
00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:12,406
One day, I am gonna get a DMT.
149
00:07:12,449 --> 00:07:14,451
That stands for
Distressed Muscle Tank.
150
00:07:14,495 --> 00:07:16,932
The DMTs get to work out
next to HG.
151
00:07:16,975 --> 00:07:19,543
I just gotta put in the time,
keep getting better.
152
00:07:19,587 --> 00:07:22,107
I'm gonna go fill up my mattress
with ice and rest up for later.
153
00:07:23,199 --> 00:07:25,680
So, Hayley's in a cult.
154
00:07:25,723 --> 00:07:27,508
Yeah, an exercise cult.
155
00:07:27,551 --> 00:07:29,945
No.
It's a real cult, Roger.
156
00:07:29,988 --> 00:07:32,077
Like Jonestown
with ankle weights.
157
00:07:32,121 --> 00:07:33,470
And I should know.
158
00:07:33,514 --> 00:07:35,298
I've been in more cults
than anyone.
159
00:07:35,342 --> 00:07:36,821
Remind me?
160
00:07:39,215 --> 00:07:40,782
Francine!
161
00:07:40,825 --> 00:07:42,523
Is that The Scrapbook I hear?
162
00:07:42,566 --> 00:07:44,133
I don't have my keys!
163
00:07:44,176 --> 00:07:46,016
I left them in the car
when I rolled out of it!
164
00:07:47,832 --> 00:07:49,660
- Scrapbook!
- Scrapbook?
165
00:07:49,704 --> 00:07:50,444
Oh, shit!
166
00:07:50,487 --> 00:07:53,142
Scrapbook! Yay!
167
00:07:53,185 --> 00:07:55,449
Oh, wow.
Remember this?
168
00:07:55,492 --> 00:07:58,365
I liked wearing all
the red and orange clothes.
169
00:07:58,408 --> 00:08:00,323
Oh, this was this vegan one.
170
00:08:00,367 --> 00:08:02,194
We ate so much spelt.
171
00:08:02,238 --> 00:08:04,762
Some people had a lot of sex
with the guy.
172
00:08:04,806 --> 00:08:07,417
Those cupcakes ended up
being poisoned.
173
00:08:07,461 --> 00:08:10,028
Still have those Nikes
somewhere.
174
00:08:10,072 --> 00:08:13,075
Honey, you might fall for
cults, but let's be real...
175
00:08:13,118 --> 00:08:15,382
cults also fall for you.
176
00:08:15,425 --> 00:08:17,209
Frann-ay!
177
00:08:17,253 --> 00:08:20,300
Always skyrocketing right
into the inner circle.
178
00:08:20,343 --> 00:08:21,649
True.
179
00:08:21,692 --> 00:08:24,042
I'm either a right-hand man
or a high-up wife.
180
00:08:24,086 --> 00:08:26,262
Oh, God, and there's me
on the altar.
181
00:08:26,306 --> 00:08:28,003
You were gonna sacrifice me.
182
00:08:28,046 --> 00:08:29,831
But then the knife broke!
183
00:08:34,314 --> 00:08:36,620
Ah! That was fun.
I needed that.
184
00:08:36,664 --> 00:08:38,796
- But I gotta get back to it.
- Same.
185
00:08:38,840 --> 00:08:41,930
Yeah, it's a big time
of year for me.
186
00:08:41,973 --> 00:08:43,975
You've been in a lot of cults.
I remember now.
187
00:08:44,019 --> 00:08:46,630
Yeah, cults are really fun,
188
00:08:46,674 --> 00:08:50,242
but I have a sixth sense about
when the fun is over.
189
00:08:50,286 --> 00:08:52,897
You know, when there's
gonna be a FBI raid
190
00:08:52,941 --> 00:08:56,118
or mass soo-ey,
or blend up beavers
191
00:08:56,161 --> 00:08:58,294
and put it in
the town's water supply.
192
00:08:58,338 --> 00:08:59,600
Cool.
193
00:08:59,643 --> 00:09:01,776
How and why did we get
into this convo again?
194
00:09:01,819 --> 00:09:03,473
- Hayley is in a cult.
- Riiight.
195
00:09:03,517 --> 00:09:06,128
- You gonna help her get out?
- I'm not helping her.
196
00:09:06,171 --> 00:09:07,956
She's gotta get out by herself
because...
197
00:09:07,999 --> 00:09:09,523
Benevolent Neglect!
198
00:09:09,566 --> 00:09:12,090
Speaking of which, you know
what I neglect sometimes?
199
00:09:12,134 --> 00:09:13,614
My own needs.
200
00:09:13,657 --> 00:09:16,268
That's not a joke.
It's something sad.
201
00:09:18,836 --> 00:09:21,578
Whooooo!
Let's do this!
202
00:09:26,148 --> 00:09:27,236
What's going on?
203
00:09:27,279 --> 00:09:29,238
Everyone huddle up
for a second.
204
00:09:29,281 --> 00:09:31,371
We're having a bit of a problem.
205
00:09:31,414 --> 00:09:33,895
The fire marshall's
been sniffing around.
206
00:09:33,938 --> 00:09:36,724
He wants to do an "inspection,"
207
00:09:36,767 --> 00:09:38,378
and we all know what that means.
208
00:09:38,421 --> 00:09:40,301
He's gonna come in here
and try to shut us down.
209
00:09:44,993 --> 00:09:46,386
Guns?
210
00:09:46,429 --> 00:09:49,171
They have to be worth $600 each!
211
00:09:49,214 --> 00:09:50,564
And you're just
giving them to us?
212
00:09:50,607 --> 00:09:52,000
Is this real?
213
00:09:55,830 --> 00:09:57,266
Hey, girl, what that?
214
00:09:57,309 --> 00:09:58,659
It's my gym gun.
215
00:09:58,702 --> 00:10:00,201
Anyway, I'm just here to grab
some extra clothes
216
00:10:00,225 --> 00:10:02,184
and all of
my important documents.
217
00:10:02,227 --> 00:10:03,640
I'm gonna be living at the gym
from now on,
218
00:10:03,664 --> 00:10:05,405
for maximum readiness.
219
00:10:05,448 --> 00:10:08,582
Honey, what if, just like,
as a readiness exercise,
220
00:10:08,625 --> 00:10:11,062
I said, don't go live
at the gym?
221
00:10:11,106 --> 00:10:13,543
I'd call you a CV and tell you
to suck my butt.
222
00:10:13,587 --> 00:10:15,458
And a CV is...?
223
00:10:15,502 --> 00:10:16,807
A Commitment Vampire.
224
00:10:16,851 --> 00:10:17,808
It's the worst thing you can be.
225
00:10:17,852 --> 00:10:20,071
Cool.
Perfect answer.
226
00:10:22,334 --> 00:10:25,294
Looks like the fun is over
at HG Studio.
227
00:10:25,337 --> 00:10:27,557
Unfortunately, Hayley doesn't
seem to have
228
00:10:27,601 --> 00:10:29,559
my sense of cult timing.
229
00:10:29,603 --> 00:10:31,039
I'm gonna have to
help get her out.
230
00:10:31,082 --> 00:10:32,649
What happened
to Benevolent Neglect?
231
00:10:32,693 --> 00:10:34,651
Too late for Benevolent Neglect!
232
00:10:34,695 --> 00:10:36,044
We've got a new plan.
233
00:10:36,087 --> 00:10:38,481
It's called...
234
00:10:38,525 --> 00:10:40,440
Francine's Plan.
235
00:10:45,445 --> 00:10:47,664
Keep the car running.
I'll be right out.
236
00:10:47,708 --> 00:10:48,839
Vroom vroom.
237
00:10:55,542 --> 00:10:56,978
Mom?!
238
00:10:57,021 --> 00:10:58,501
Did I inspire you?
239
00:10:58,545 --> 00:11:00,155
Yeah.
240
00:11:00,198 --> 00:11:03,158
Let me just say,
you have amazing taste.
241
00:11:03,201 --> 00:11:05,769
I wish the first cult
I ever joined was this nice.
242
00:11:05,813 --> 00:11:07,945
- Not a cult.
- It's a great space.
243
00:11:07,989 --> 00:11:10,600
I'm seeing
a super-charismatic leader.
244
00:11:10,644 --> 00:11:13,385
The inner circle
has sick-ass tanks.
245
00:11:13,429 --> 00:11:14,517
DMTs.
246
00:11:14,561 --> 00:11:17,302
- Primo cult, for sure.
- Damn right.
247
00:11:17,346 --> 00:11:19,479
But shit is about to go down.
248
00:11:19,522 --> 00:11:21,611
We have to get you out of here
right now.
249
00:11:21,655 --> 00:11:23,178
Okay, suck my butt.
250
00:11:23,221 --> 00:11:25,180
Since when do you have
advice for me?
251
00:11:25,223 --> 00:11:29,184
We will deprogram you later,
but for now, just listen.
252
00:11:29,227 --> 00:11:31,621
The schematics show
a window in the bathroom.
253
00:11:31,665 --> 00:11:33,362
We're gonna slip out.
254
00:11:33,405 --> 00:11:35,973
Roger is waiting outside
with the car running.
255
00:11:36,017 --> 00:11:37,255
There was a funny smell
in the car,
256
00:11:37,279 --> 00:11:38,976
and I couldn't get
the windows down.
257
00:11:39,020 --> 00:11:40,456
Had to use that hammer
to get out.
258
00:11:40,500 --> 00:11:42,589
The little hammer for
if you drive into a river?
259
00:11:42,632 --> 00:11:44,852
Anyway, have you seen HG?
260
00:11:44,895 --> 00:11:46,418
I'm all in, Franny.
261
00:11:46,462 --> 00:11:47,550
All. In.
262
00:11:47,594 --> 00:11:49,421
Roger gets it!
263
00:11:49,465 --> 00:11:51,380
And you're a CV.
264
00:11:51,423 --> 00:11:53,600
And I have to report
any CV behavior.
265
00:11:53,643 --> 00:11:54,775
- HG!
- HG!
266
00:11:54,818 --> 00:11:56,385
HG, I love you!
267
00:11:56,428 --> 00:11:57,952
Do you see me, HG?
268
00:11:57,995 --> 00:12:00,911
First day, HG!
Very impressive, yes?
269
00:12:02,086 --> 00:12:04,524
Hi, ladies!
Fire marshall here.
270
00:12:06,134 --> 00:12:07,875
I'm just gonna take
a quick looky-loo,
271
00:12:07,918 --> 00:12:09,398
and I will be out of your hair.
272
00:12:13,097 --> 00:12:14,577
Fire marshall?
273
00:12:14,621 --> 00:12:17,362
Fire Marshall Bill!
274
00:12:17,406 --> 00:12:19,800
Remember that?
Oh, my God, so funny.
275
00:12:21,932 --> 00:12:25,545
I'm honored you all have taken
such an interest in my work!
276
00:12:27,329 --> 00:12:30,332
All the windows are sealed shut.
277
00:12:30,375 --> 00:12:32,856
That's gonna be a no-go.
278
00:12:32,900 --> 00:12:35,250
No one's getting out of there
in a hurry.
279
00:12:36,947 --> 00:12:40,037
I'm not lovin' that.
280
00:12:41,082 --> 00:12:43,780
Loose floorboard?
281
00:12:43,824 --> 00:12:45,347
When I was a kid,
282
00:12:45,390 --> 00:12:47,697
my grandma tripped
on a loose floorboard
283
00:12:47,741 --> 00:12:49,177
and fell on her butt.
284
00:12:49,220 --> 00:12:51,396
It was so embarrassing!
285
00:12:51,440 --> 00:12:53,181
I'm gonna have to close
this place down.
286
00:12:53,224 --> 00:12:54,704
Just leave!
287
00:12:54,748 --> 00:12:56,793
No one shuts us down
over a loose floorboard!
288
00:12:58,099 --> 00:12:59,622
My tiny gun went off!
289
00:12:59,666 --> 00:13:03,408
Y-You shot me in the tummy!
290
00:13:03,452 --> 00:13:04,845
Oh, my God!
291
00:13:04,888 --> 00:13:05,889
What do we do?
292
00:13:05,933 --> 00:13:09,023
Everything is okay.
293
00:13:09,066 --> 00:13:10,633
This needed to happen.
294
00:13:10,677 --> 00:13:12,156
It was necessary.
295
00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:14,071
It had to happen, HG.
296
00:13:14,115 --> 00:13:15,638
Here's the good news...
297
00:13:15,682 --> 00:13:18,249
this brought us to Phase Two.
298
00:13:18,293 --> 00:13:20,208
Just a little sooner
than planned.
299
00:13:20,251 --> 00:13:22,079
Yeah, Phase Two, HG.
300
00:13:22,123 --> 00:13:23,951
This new woman...
what's your name?
301
00:13:23,994 --> 00:13:25,517
- HG?
- No.
302
00:13:25,561 --> 00:13:26,693
Then Britney M.
303
00:13:26,736 --> 00:13:27,955
Welcome to the inner circle.
304
00:13:27,998 --> 00:13:30,087
Two tosses for Britney M.
305
00:13:34,570 --> 00:13:35,832
Yay!
306
00:13:35,876 --> 00:13:37,660
In 20 minutes, we're gonna
load up the buses,
307
00:13:37,704 --> 00:13:39,662
head to the airfield,
and take off
308
00:13:39,706 --> 00:13:43,144
for our remote studio location
in the jungles of the Congo.
309
00:13:43,187 --> 00:13:45,233
Everyone have your passports?
310
00:13:45,276 --> 00:13:46,800
Just kidding.
We have your passports.
311
00:13:49,454 --> 00:13:50,673
Don't worry.
312
00:13:50,717 --> 00:13:52,544
We have your passports.
313
00:13:52,588 --> 00:13:54,155
I'm part of the "we."
314
00:13:56,984 --> 00:13:58,986
You saw what I saw.
315
00:13:59,029 --> 00:14:00,291
There's still time.
316
00:14:00,335 --> 00:14:02,380
We can't leave the country
with these people.
317
00:14:02,424 --> 00:14:04,121
You're right.
That was crazy.
318
00:14:04,165 --> 00:14:06,167
I wanna go home.
319
00:14:06,210 --> 00:14:09,170
Just follow me behind the bus,
and then start running.
320
00:14:14,349 --> 00:14:15,655
Good work, Francine.
321
00:14:17,657 --> 00:14:19,397
What are you doing?!
322
00:14:19,441 --> 00:14:21,748
Betraying you,
getting a cool tank top.
323
00:14:21,791 --> 00:14:23,967
It looks great on you, Francine.
324
00:14:24,011 --> 00:14:26,796
You've got the good shoulders
for it.
325
00:14:26,840 --> 00:14:27,884
So do I, though.
326
00:14:31,018 --> 00:14:34,151
And up and back and kick,
327
00:14:34,195 --> 00:14:37,241
front, table top, extend.
328
00:14:37,285 --> 00:14:40,636
I mean, I love HG,
but what you did was savage.
329
00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:43,291
Sold out your own kid for a DMT.
330
00:14:43,334 --> 00:14:45,510
My voice is the only voice
I should hear.
331
00:14:45,554 --> 00:14:47,077
Sorry, HG.
332
00:14:47,121 --> 00:14:49,297
I mean, I get it.
I shot a guy.
333
00:14:49,340 --> 00:14:51,516
But I'm like you...
I don't even feel bad about it.
334
00:14:51,560 --> 00:14:53,649
Shhhh!
Britney M.
335
00:14:53,693 --> 00:14:55,346
Almost done, HG.
336
00:14:55,390 --> 00:14:58,001
And she's fine.
She's in Non-Prison Confinement.
337
00:14:58,045 --> 00:15:00,874
I don't wanna go to non-prison,
but Hayley's probably okay.
338
00:15:00,917 --> 00:15:03,137
- Oh, God.
- Ooof. I know.
339
00:15:03,180 --> 00:15:05,182
- It's really hot in here, right?
- Shhhh!
340
00:15:05,226 --> 00:15:07,881
And then, I put a little bit
of mint, banana, a green apple.
341
00:15:07,924 --> 00:15:09,143
Sometimes.
342
00:15:09,186 --> 00:15:10,884
It's packed with,
like, everything...
343
00:15:10,927 --> 00:15:12,929
flax, chia, fish oil,
CBD oil, coconut oil,
344
00:15:12,973 --> 00:15:15,758
olive oil, Pennzoil...
it's very oily.
345
00:15:15,802 --> 00:15:17,586
Don't spill it,
because you'll be cleaning
346
00:15:17,629 --> 00:15:19,588
for the rest of the morning.
347
00:15:19,631 --> 00:15:21,653
But you'll have crazy energy
if you get any in your mouth.
348
00:15:21,677 --> 00:15:23,070
How long do
I have to be in here?
349
00:15:23,113 --> 00:15:24,985
Until you're ready
to dance again.
350
00:15:25,028 --> 00:15:26,943
You mean I can just
go back to class?
351
00:15:26,987 --> 00:15:28,075
Sure.
352
00:15:28,118 --> 00:15:29,772
But if you are gonna make
the smoothie,
353
00:15:29,816 --> 00:15:32,514
do not smoke for
up to 36 hours after.
354
00:15:32,557 --> 00:15:34,124
You will explode.
355
00:15:39,608 --> 00:15:41,915
Hayley, I'm so sorry.
356
00:15:41,958 --> 00:15:44,221
I never should have betrayed you
for this tank top,
357
00:15:44,265 --> 00:15:45,745
even though I look amazing.
358
00:15:45,788 --> 00:15:47,790
We gotta get out of here,
for real.
359
00:15:47,834 --> 00:15:50,097
I shouldn't trust you.
360
00:15:50,140 --> 00:15:53,056
Okay, meet me tonight.
I know a way.
361
00:15:53,100 --> 00:15:56,407
Also, I figured out which one
of the girls has the bad B.O.
362
00:15:56,451 --> 00:15:57,452
It's me.
363
00:15:58,453 --> 00:16:00,542
Just a little further.
364
00:16:00,585 --> 00:16:02,326
Ah, here it is!
365
00:16:02,370 --> 00:16:04,546
You see, HG?
I told you!
366
00:16:04,589 --> 00:16:06,069
She's the real CV!
367
00:16:06,113 --> 00:16:07,244
Hayley!
368
00:16:09,159 --> 00:16:10,682
Oh, what, Mom?
369
00:16:10,726 --> 00:16:12,336
I wanna be in the inner circle.
370
00:16:12,380 --> 00:16:14,251
I feel really left out!
371
00:16:14,295 --> 00:16:15,862
I'll take my DMT now, thank you.
372
00:16:15,905 --> 00:16:17,559
You better watch your back!
373
00:16:17,602 --> 00:16:19,517
That DMT is mine.
374
00:16:19,561 --> 00:16:22,651
No, that DMT is mine, actually.
375
00:16:22,694 --> 00:16:24,131
You two are a lot of trouble,
376
00:16:24,174 --> 00:16:26,133
and I don't have time for this.
377
00:16:26,176 --> 00:16:28,570
You're both going to non-prison.
378
00:16:28,613 --> 00:16:29,658
- What?!
- What?!
379
00:16:29,701 --> 00:16:32,835
Ooooh!
You made Mommy maaaaad.
380
00:16:32,879 --> 00:16:34,837
You talk too much.
381
00:16:34,881 --> 00:16:37,274
A criticism!
382
00:16:37,318 --> 00:16:39,363
A flying caterpillar!
383
00:16:40,321 --> 00:16:41,322
What is wrong with us?
384
00:16:41,365 --> 00:16:42,671
It's not us.
385
00:16:42,714 --> 00:16:44,934
It's the cult.
We're brainwashed.
386
00:16:44,978 --> 00:16:47,850
Yeah, but we're the ones
who decided to join a cult.
387
00:16:47,894 --> 00:16:49,156
That's true.
388
00:16:49,199 --> 00:16:51,375
Why do I keep joining cults?
389
00:16:51,419 --> 00:16:52,899
What is that about?
390
00:16:52,942 --> 00:16:56,206
Maybe it has something to do
with my mom.
391
00:16:56,250 --> 00:16:59,166
She was always telling me
what to do, what to think.
392
00:16:59,209 --> 00:17:00,645
I hated it!
393
00:17:00,689 --> 00:17:03,126
But maybe on some level,
394
00:17:03,170 --> 00:17:05,781
I keep looking to re-create it?
395
00:17:05,825 --> 00:17:07,565
I think it's the opposite
for me.
396
00:17:07,609 --> 00:17:10,568
I was dying for someone
to tell me what to do,
397
00:17:10,612 --> 00:17:13,006
or at least
just give me some advice.
398
00:17:13,049 --> 00:17:15,182
I'd like you to be that person.
399
00:17:15,225 --> 00:17:16,836
I'm sorry.
400
00:17:16,879 --> 00:17:19,186
I just didn't want to be
like my mom.
401
00:17:19,229 --> 00:17:21,188
You're not your mom.
402
00:17:21,231 --> 00:17:24,234
But I do need you to be my mom.
403
00:17:24,278 --> 00:17:25,627
I can do that.
404
00:17:25,670 --> 00:17:28,021
Should we start a coup
against HG?
405
00:17:28,064 --> 00:17:31,067
Are you ready
for my motherly advice?
406
00:17:31,111 --> 00:17:32,939
Yes.
407
00:17:32,982 --> 00:17:34,810
Let's dance.
408
00:17:37,769 --> 00:17:39,119
Listen up, ladies!
409
00:17:39,162 --> 00:17:41,425
I've been in a lot of cults
in my life,
410
00:17:41,469 --> 00:17:43,166
and I know what's up.
411
00:17:43,210 --> 00:17:46,909
HG acts like a god,
but she's just a person.
412
00:17:46,953 --> 00:17:49,651
A very hot, charismatic person
413
00:17:49,694 --> 00:17:51,696
with a great exercise regimen
414
00:17:51,740 --> 00:17:54,003
that gives us confidence
415
00:17:54,047 --> 00:17:57,137
and the direction
that we need in our lives,
416
00:17:57,180 --> 00:18:01,054
and cool butts that look like
two stuck-together onions!
417
00:18:01,097 --> 00:18:03,621
Yay!
418
00:18:03,665 --> 00:18:05,188
No! No.
419
00:18:05,232 --> 00:18:08,365
She means, HG is a bad person.
420
00:18:08,409 --> 00:18:10,802
And we're all brainwashed!
421
00:18:10,846 --> 00:18:14,981
She's got us exercising
in a jungle for 10 hours a day!
422
00:18:15,024 --> 00:18:17,809
Let's band together
and get out of here!
423
00:18:17,853 --> 00:18:19,681
And she keeps shushing me.
It's so rude.
424
00:18:22,075 --> 00:18:24,642
What's with all
the loose floorboards?
425
00:18:24,686 --> 00:18:27,210
Okay, she's not even hurt.
What gives?
426
00:18:27,254 --> 00:18:28,951
The bullets went
right through her!
427
00:18:28,995 --> 00:18:30,692
She is a god!
428
00:18:33,390 --> 00:18:35,131
Oh, shit, she is!
429
00:18:35,175 --> 00:18:36,437
My bad, HG!
430
00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:39,222
Kneel before me.
431
00:18:39,266 --> 00:18:41,137
And remember to activate
your core
432
00:18:41,181 --> 00:18:44,227
as you beg for my forgiveness.
433
00:18:49,624 --> 00:18:51,147
Uh, eyes up.
434
00:18:51,191 --> 00:18:52,583
My butt is up here.
435
00:18:57,327 --> 00:18:58,850
She's not a god!
436
00:18:58,894 --> 00:19:00,678
She's not even a person!
437
00:19:00,722 --> 00:19:02,898
She's a hologram!
438
00:19:06,728 --> 00:19:08,948
Uh... occupado?
439
00:19:08,991 --> 00:19:10,427
It's a big, gross man!
440
00:19:10,471 --> 00:19:12,125
On a toilet.
441
00:19:12,168 --> 00:19:14,301
Eating oysters?
442
00:19:14,344 --> 00:19:16,259
Out of a garbage bag?
443
00:19:16,303 --> 00:19:19,567
Oh, look who it is...
Scoomby-Doo.
444
00:19:20,611 --> 00:19:22,309
So, Holly was a hologram.
445
00:19:22,352 --> 00:19:24,093
HG equals Holly Graham.
446
00:19:24,137 --> 00:19:26,269
You figured it out.
447
00:19:26,313 --> 00:19:29,142
Come on, it's funny!
It's a joke.
448
00:19:29,185 --> 00:19:31,448
You guys should smile more,
by the way.
449
00:19:32,928 --> 00:19:34,843
Yikes, dude.
What is your deal?
450
00:19:34,886 --> 00:19:36,323
My deal?
451
00:19:36,366 --> 00:19:39,413
No one ever asked the
Wizard of Oz what his deal was.
452
00:19:39,456 --> 00:19:42,111
He could sit behind a curtain,
spying on Munkins,
453
00:19:42,155 --> 00:19:44,548
and I can't ogle women
through one-way glass?
454
00:19:44,592 --> 00:19:46,855
I've committed no crimes here.
455
00:19:48,422 --> 00:19:51,033
Why do I discard the shells
into the same sack
456
00:19:51,077 --> 00:19:53,122
I take the fresh ones out of?
457
00:19:53,166 --> 00:19:56,343
Uh, I frustrate myself.
I should get two sacks.
458
00:19:56,386 --> 00:19:57,624
Sometimes you gotta swish around
459
00:19:57,648 --> 00:19:59,389
and look for the loosies
at the bottom.
460
00:19:59,433 --> 00:20:02,131
Oooh! Jackpot!
461
00:20:02,175 --> 00:20:04,568
Ugh!
Oh, that was a loogie.
462
00:20:04,612 --> 00:20:07,136
I should not be spitting
my loogies in there.
463
00:20:08,877 --> 00:20:11,532
See?!
You think I'm disgusting.
464
00:20:11,575 --> 00:20:13,162
This is why I need to hide
behind the mirror
465
00:20:13,186 --> 00:20:15,014
in the first place!
466
00:20:15,057 --> 00:20:17,799
You never would have just
let me steal your money
467
00:20:17,842 --> 00:20:19,322
so I could watch you dance
all day
468
00:20:19,366 --> 00:20:21,107
while I sit on my little toilet,
469
00:20:21,150 --> 00:20:24,023
digging through my garbage bag
full of oysters.
470
00:20:24,066 --> 00:20:28,201
I had to be smart about it.
471
00:20:29,985 --> 00:20:32,596
I see. You're all on
your periods or whatever.
472
00:20:46,262 --> 00:20:48,351
I never should have made you
so strong!
473
00:20:48,395 --> 00:20:51,789
One last request...
put me back on the toilet.
474
00:20:51,833 --> 00:20:54,183
I wanna die with dignity!
475
00:20:54,227 --> 00:20:55,587
- Suck our butts!
- Suck our butts!
476
00:20:56,316 --> 00:20:57,839
Buh-bye! See you soon.
32890
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