Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,351 --> 00:00:06,745
So, Danuta, you still haven't
said how you and Marco met.
2
00:00:06,789 --> 00:00:09,052
Oh, no. Here we go.
3
00:00:09,096 --> 00:00:12,751
Well, Marco here is
the reigning champion
4
00:00:12,795 --> 00:00:16,146
on a certain quiz show
on Langley Public Radio.
5
00:00:16,190 --> 00:00:18,018
Oh, you mean Oo Oo, I Know That?
6
00:00:18,061 --> 00:00:19,323
A-ding ding dong.
7
00:00:19,367 --> 00:00:20,977
When they asked him
8
00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:22,979
who his favorite
philosopher was,
9
00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:26,722
he said, "I Kant remember."
10
00:00:26,765 --> 00:00:28,593
His wit was bone-dry,
11
00:00:28,637 --> 00:00:31,074
but I was quite the opposite.
12
00:00:33,207 --> 00:00:37,080
Okay, soup.
This time... you're mine.
13
00:00:38,299 --> 00:00:42,259
Ow! That sneaky stuff just falls
off the spoon so fast!
14
00:00:42,303 --> 00:00:44,957
Babe, remember,
flip your spoon over
15
00:00:45,001 --> 00:00:46,437
so it's like a little bowl.
16
00:00:46,481 --> 00:00:47,438
Ohhhhh!
17
00:00:47,482 --> 00:00:49,614
Like a little soup bowl
18
00:00:49,658 --> 00:00:51,094
- on a stick!
- On a stick.
19
00:00:51,138 --> 00:00:52,791
Yes, Jeff. Very good, Jeff.
20
00:00:52,835 --> 00:00:54,619
And how did you two meet?
21
00:00:54,663 --> 00:00:57,579
Oh, it's so hard to recall.
22
00:00:57,622 --> 00:01:00,451
I fell into the touch tank
at the aquarium!
23
00:01:00,495 --> 00:01:01,974
Hayley pulled me out.
24
00:01:02,018 --> 00:01:03,541
Oh, that's right.
25
00:01:03,585 --> 00:01:05,326
We're actually going
to a benefit
26
00:01:05,369 --> 00:01:07,110
at the aquarium
with Johanna this...
27
00:01:07,154 --> 00:01:09,199
Johanna Gurney-Schaffner?!
28
00:01:09,243 --> 00:01:11,593
The host of This Way or That
on Langley Public Radio?!
29
00:01:11,636 --> 00:01:12,985
Wha...?! You hang out with her?!
30
00:01:13,029 --> 00:01:15,205
Oh, she's a dear friend.
31
00:01:15,249 --> 00:01:17,294
We actually went to the new
Almódovar film with her
32
00:01:17,338 --> 00:01:18,426
just last night.
33
00:01:18,469 --> 00:01:20,950
Unngh! Have you seen it?
34
00:01:20,993 --> 00:01:23,996
Oh, I really wanted to,
but Jeff kinda likes to watch
35
00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:25,607
the same movie over and over,
36
00:01:25,650 --> 00:01:27,565
so right now most nights
we're watching.
37
00:01:27,609 --> 00:01:30,177
The Secret of Saurus Rock.
38
00:01:30,220 --> 00:01:32,701
Hayley has to explain
a lot of it to me,
39
00:01:32,744 --> 00:01:35,182
but I'm this close
to understanding
40
00:01:35,225 --> 00:01:37,097
that dragons
couldn't actually talk.
41
00:01:37,140 --> 00:01:38,359
Dinosaurs.
42
00:01:38,402 --> 00:01:40,709
"Dino-snaurs."
43
00:02:14,046 --> 00:02:15,439
Ohh! Ooohhh!
44
00:02:15,483 --> 00:02:17,398
Mmmmmm... Marco!
45
00:02:17,441 --> 00:02:18,703
Polo!
46
00:02:18,747 --> 00:02:20,488
What?
What?
47
00:02:20,531 --> 00:02:23,186
Wait just one minute.
48
00:02:24,274 --> 00:02:25,928
You were thinking about.
49
00:02:25,971 --> 00:02:27,886
Danuta's smarty-pants boyfriend!
50
00:02:27,930 --> 00:02:29,758
Jeff, I love you. I just...
51
00:02:29,801 --> 00:02:31,934
I can't even remember
the last time
52
00:02:31,977 --> 00:02:34,023
we had an intelligent
conversation about anything!
53
00:02:34,066 --> 00:02:36,852
We talked for hours
about Mad Men!
54
00:02:36,895 --> 00:02:38,680
Because I had to keep explaining
55
00:02:38,723 --> 00:02:40,203
that you didn't
have to be scared,
56
00:02:40,247 --> 00:02:42,162
because the men
weren't mad at you!
57
00:02:42,205 --> 00:02:43,748
Well, maybe you should
watch it with Narco.
58
00:02:43,772 --> 00:02:45,687
- Marco.
- Polo!
59
00:02:45,730 --> 00:02:47,036
Oh, my God!
Why are you so dumb?!
60
00:02:48,777 --> 00:02:51,519
Jeff, I'm sorry.
I-I just got frustrated.
61
00:02:51,562 --> 00:02:53,651
- Where are you going?
- Out!
62
00:02:53,695 --> 00:02:54,957
Jeff, those are my pants.
63
00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:58,569
I know!
I happen to, um...
64
00:02:58,613 --> 00:03:01,746
like the way
they make my butt look!
65
00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:06,708
Jeff! Lookin' good!
66
00:03:09,363 --> 00:03:13,671
Oh, man, what if Hayley leaves
me because I'm too dumb for her?
67
00:03:13,715 --> 00:03:15,630
Who's gonna tie my shoes?!
68
00:03:15,673 --> 00:03:17,980
Hey. Jeffy-boy!
69
00:03:18,023 --> 00:03:19,982
What up, man?
Little moonlight stroll?
70
00:03:20,025 --> 00:03:22,637
Mr. S?
Why are you out so late?
71
00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:25,379
Collectin' critters.
Dr. Weitzman needs animals
72
00:03:25,422 --> 00:03:27,598
for a new experiment
he's doing at the CIA.
73
00:03:27,642 --> 00:03:29,209
The agent
that brings in the most
74
00:03:29,252 --> 00:03:31,211
gets to go to McDonald's
in a limo!
75
00:03:33,038 --> 00:03:35,563
Say, Roger was helping me,
but he quit on me.
76
00:03:35,606 --> 00:03:38,043
Got bit trying to nab
a copperhead snake and just went
77
00:03:38,087 --> 00:03:40,481
straight to the emergency room,
like a quitter.
78
00:03:40,524 --> 00:03:41,524
You wanna help me out?
79
00:03:43,962 --> 00:03:46,791
Mr. S, can I talk to you
about something?
80
00:03:46,835 --> 00:03:48,097
Not if I turn on the radio!
81
00:03:51,448 --> 00:03:54,146
This Way or That
is made possible
82
00:03:54,190 --> 00:03:56,124
by the Arthur and Elaine T.
McKennon Foundation...
83
00:03:56,148 --> 00:03:57,672
Get back here, you little...
84
00:03:57,715 --> 00:03:59,282
...creating
a brighter generation
85
00:03:59,326 --> 00:04:00,849
through the power
of public radio...
86
00:04:00,892 --> 00:04:01,980
You're coming with me.
87
00:04:02,024 --> 00:04:04,722
...and SmutPile.com.
88
00:04:04,766 --> 00:04:06,550
Check it out. Stray dog.
89
00:04:08,204 --> 00:04:10,032
Can you change the station?
90
00:04:10,075 --> 00:04:13,296
This is that Jo-hannis
Grundy ShniffShnaff lady
91
00:04:13,340 --> 00:04:15,167
Hayley loves so much.
92
00:04:15,211 --> 00:04:17,474
Ugh! Yeah, I hate
this nerd shit, too.
93
00:04:17,518 --> 00:04:19,955
That nerd Francine
must've been driving my car.
94
00:04:19,998 --> 00:04:22,392
Let's listen to some Stern!
95
00:04:22,436 --> 00:04:24,438
A lotta people don't know this,
96
00:04:24,481 --> 00:04:27,789
but I was high every day
of shootingCity Slickers.
97
00:04:27,832 --> 00:04:29,704
I'm of course talking
about Daniel Stern's
98
00:04:29,747 --> 00:04:31,706
autobiography on Audible.
99
00:04:31,749 --> 00:04:35,536
Also, Jack Palance
was soooo strong.
100
00:04:38,190 --> 00:04:40,367
Well, Misterrrr...
101
00:04:40,410 --> 00:04:41,759
Pastafocaccia.
102
00:04:41,803 --> 00:04:44,501
You seem to have fully recovered
from your snakebite.
103
00:04:44,545 --> 00:04:46,460
So that just leaves
the small matter of...
104
00:04:46,503 --> 00:04:48,331
uh, the bill!
105
00:04:49,245 --> 00:04:53,031
Sweet child o' mine!
Why is it so darn much, Doc?!
106
00:04:53,075 --> 00:04:55,382
Because antivenom is scarce.
107
00:04:55,425 --> 00:04:58,428
Yep, if someone
went out right now
108
00:04:58,472 --> 00:05:00,604
and harvested venom
from poisonous snakes,
109
00:05:00,648 --> 00:05:02,650
which is what antivenom
is made from,
110
00:05:02,693 --> 00:05:05,043
they could make
quite the pretty penny.
111
00:05:05,087 --> 00:05:07,655
- Why are you telling me this?
- I'm a doctor!
112
00:05:07,698 --> 00:05:11,267
I'm all about that sweet
mmmmoney-money-money-money...
113
00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:13,313
money-money-money-money
money-money-mmmoney!
114
00:05:14,662 --> 00:05:17,273
"Money, money, money, money,"
you say?
115
00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:18,753
No, like this...
116
00:05:18,796 --> 00:05:20,513
Mmmmoney-money-money-money
money-money-mmmoney!
117
00:05:20,537 --> 00:05:22,800
Oh! Oh, yeah, yeah.
Money-money-money-money!
118
00:05:22,844 --> 00:05:24,430
Money-money-money-money
money-money-money!
119
00:05:24,454 --> 00:05:27,283
Money-money-money-money
money-money-money-money!
120
00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:28,893
Now Eskimo kisses!
121
00:05:28,937 --> 00:05:30,852
Money-money-money-money
money-money-money!
122
00:05:34,116 --> 00:05:37,075
Wait here while I run these
bad boys on down to Dr. Dubs.
123
00:05:37,119 --> 00:05:39,643
What kind of experiment is
the doctor working on, anyway?
124
00:05:39,687 --> 00:05:41,384
Eh, some kind of
experimental surgery
125
00:05:41,428 --> 00:05:43,560
to increase intelligence
or some crap.
126
00:05:43,604 --> 00:05:45,432
Do you think
he could do it to me?
127
00:05:45,475 --> 00:05:46,824
Dumb guy like you?
128
00:05:46,868 --> 00:05:48,435
I can see why
you'd be interested.
129
00:05:48,478 --> 00:05:50,350
But he still hasn't perfected
the operation.
130
00:05:50,393 --> 00:05:51,501
Most of these animals'll end up
131
00:05:51,525 --> 00:05:53,483
dimmer than an Amish
Christmas tree.
132
00:05:54,919 --> 00:05:57,661
I like that you screeched
at my joke, wise old owl.
133
00:05:57,705 --> 00:06:00,055
You I might just keep
for myself.
134
00:06:01,448 --> 00:06:04,842
Sure is spooky here after dark.
135
00:06:06,453 --> 00:06:08,063
Aah! Babadook!
136
00:06:08,890 --> 00:06:12,372
I wish! It's just stupid old me.
137
00:06:12,415 --> 00:06:14,417
I was making ramen
on my hotplate,
138
00:06:14,461 --> 00:06:16,419
and the dang pot
fell on my head.
139
00:06:16,463 --> 00:06:19,030
What are you doing here?
140
00:06:19,074 --> 00:06:20,597
My girlfriend kicked me out!
141
00:06:20,641 --> 00:06:23,774
Aw, that's awful,
Mr. Whoever-You-Are.
142
00:06:23,818 --> 00:06:26,386
Take it from me, kid...
don't ever be in a relationship
143
00:06:26,429 --> 00:06:27,996
with someone smarter than you.
144
00:06:28,039 --> 00:06:29,389
It won't last.
145
00:06:32,217 --> 00:06:33,915
Dr. Wishbone...
146
00:06:33,958 --> 00:06:36,831
I'd like to volunteer
for your a-speriment.
147
00:06:36,874 --> 00:06:39,616
Oh, I would love to have
a human test subject,
148
00:06:39,660 --> 00:06:42,445
but you should know
there's a 99% chance
149
00:06:42,489 --> 00:06:43,881
you'll end up brain-dead.
150
00:06:43,925 --> 00:06:46,841
Uhhh, 99 out of a million?
151
00:06:46,884 --> 00:06:50,627
I think I'll take my chances.
152
00:06:55,284 --> 00:06:56,894
Tell you what, Screechy...
153
00:06:56,938 --> 00:07:00,158
maybe the move is to track down
this beautiful sicko.
154
00:07:00,202 --> 00:07:01,856
Score ten dogs at once.
155
00:07:03,597 --> 00:07:06,077
Dad, have you seen Jeff?
He never came home last night.
156
00:07:06,121 --> 00:07:07,688
Oh, yeah, he volunteered himself
157
00:07:07,731 --> 00:07:10,081
for a deadly experimental
surgery at the CIA.
158
00:07:10,125 --> 00:07:12,736
What?! Why didn't you stop him?!
159
00:07:12,780 --> 00:07:14,651
I guess I don't care
whether he lives or dies.
160
00:07:14,695 --> 00:07:16,261
Ughhh!
161
00:07:16,305 --> 00:07:19,351
- Hoo!
- Jeff.
162
00:07:24,095 --> 00:07:25,880
Stop this atrocity at once!
163
00:07:25,923 --> 00:07:28,186
Oh, Hayley!
I'm glad you're here.
164
00:07:28,230 --> 00:07:30,624
As Jeff's legal guardian,
you need to sign this release
165
00:07:30,667 --> 00:07:32,669
before I can do the operation.
166
00:07:32,713 --> 00:07:35,672
You must be suckin'
the glass if you think
167
00:07:35,716 --> 00:07:38,632
I am gonna give Jeff permission
to go through with this...
168
00:07:38,675 --> 00:07:40,677
"Intelligence Enhancement"?
169
00:07:40,721 --> 00:07:42,723
Out of curiosity,
has this worked
170
00:07:42,766 --> 00:07:44,768
on any of your test animals?
171
00:07:44,812 --> 00:07:47,728
There's one goose
that's now in Mensa.
172
00:07:49,207 --> 00:07:51,514
Did I get it right
this time, Doc?
173
00:07:51,558 --> 00:07:53,647
Oh, if it isn't Babe.
174
00:07:53,690 --> 00:07:55,344
Hopefully here to stop me
175
00:07:55,387 --> 00:07:58,086
from doing this
super-dangerous thing.
176
00:07:58,129 --> 00:08:00,958
- He's all yours, Doc!
- Oh.
177
00:08:21,457 --> 00:08:23,764
H-Hayley?
178
00:08:23,807 --> 00:08:26,636
Dr. Weitzman? Smart Goose?
179
00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:28,682
- Did it work?
- Let's find out.
180
00:08:28,725 --> 00:08:30,858
Which of the little people
181
00:08:30,901 --> 00:08:34,339
is wearing his hospital gown
correctly?
182
00:08:34,383 --> 00:08:36,472
This one.
183
00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:39,083
...seems to have had a bit
of a sartorial snafu.
184
00:08:39,127 --> 00:08:41,129
He's taken his "privates"
185
00:08:41,172 --> 00:08:43,087
public, so to speak.
186
00:08:43,131 --> 00:08:45,568
One might even call it an IPO...
187
00:08:45,612 --> 00:08:48,005
an Ignominious
Penile Ostentation.
188
00:08:49,180 --> 00:08:51,966
You can honk that again,
Squawky.
189
00:08:52,009 --> 00:08:54,446
Now, he will need
to avoid marijuana,
190
00:08:54,490 --> 00:08:56,666
which could dull the effects
of the procedure.
191
00:08:56,710 --> 00:08:59,147
I can also tell you
that is a fake diploma.
192
00:08:59,190 --> 00:09:00,931
He's not wrong!
193
00:09:03,630 --> 00:09:06,415
Ah, Mr. Fischer, welcome back!
194
00:09:06,458 --> 00:09:09,461
Shall I bring for you
extra children's menus
195
00:09:09,505 --> 00:09:12,334
so you may attempt the maze
as many times as you like?
196
00:09:12,377 --> 00:09:13,727
Merci, non.
197
00:09:13,770 --> 00:09:15,380
Une bouteille de
Châteauneuf-du-Pape
198
00:09:15,424 --> 00:09:17,295
et du pain pour la table,
s'il vous plaît.
199
00:09:17,339 --> 00:09:19,950
You have
exposed my secret shame.
200
00:09:19,994 --> 00:09:22,736
I am not French,
nor do I speak the language.
201
00:09:22,779 --> 00:09:25,652
Did Jeff take
a ten-gallon Gingko enema
202
00:09:25,695 --> 00:09:28,002
this morning or what?
'Cause he seems, like,
203
00:09:28,045 --> 00:09:29,960
a billion times smarter
than he used to be.
204
00:09:30,004 --> 00:09:31,962
I know! Isn't it great?
205
00:09:32,006 --> 00:09:34,661
Per te, amore mio.
206
00:09:34,704 --> 00:09:36,880
Say what you will about Seurat.
207
00:09:36,924 --> 00:09:38,839
No one can accuse his art
of being...
208
00:09:38,882 --> 00:09:39,970
pointless.
209
00:09:41,058 --> 00:09:44,235
That is so witty,
it's almost funny.
210
00:09:44,279 --> 00:09:46,890
You know, Johanna is hosting
a small fundraiser
211
00:09:46,934 --> 00:09:49,632
for the McKennon Foundation
at her lake house this weekend.
212
00:09:49,676 --> 00:09:51,591
You guys should come.
213
00:09:52,635 --> 00:09:54,594
As they say in Reykjavík...
214
00:09:59,773 --> 00:10:01,426
What he said.
215
00:10:03,820 --> 00:10:06,083
So, by now, Barry's going back
216
00:10:06,127 --> 00:10:07,452
to the Steve Madden
a third time...
217
00:10:07,476 --> 00:10:08,912
Shh, shh, shut up!
218
00:10:08,956 --> 00:10:10,871
Your story sucks,
and I hear a rattler.
219
00:10:12,655 --> 00:10:15,484
Oingo boingo! We got cornbread!
220
00:10:15,527 --> 00:10:17,660
Here. Take some clackers
and work that string bean
221
00:10:17,704 --> 00:10:18,966
on outta there.
222
00:10:19,009 --> 00:10:20,881
What?! Why would I do that?!
223
00:10:20,924 --> 00:10:22,752
Because I'm Chazz Babylon,
224
00:10:22,796 --> 00:10:25,015
Speculative Venom Harvester.
225
00:10:25,059 --> 00:10:26,495
And you're my bag man.
226
00:10:26,538 --> 00:10:28,715
You told me you were
Chico Dungaree,
227
00:10:28,758 --> 00:10:30,804
Former Twisted Sister Roadie,
228
00:10:30,847 --> 00:10:32,849
and that we were just
going on a nature walk!
229
00:10:32,893 --> 00:10:34,808
Chazz Babylon
is a pathological liar.
230
00:10:34,851 --> 00:10:36,070
Now get clackin'!
231
00:10:36,113 --> 00:10:37,811
I will not!
232
00:10:37,854 --> 00:10:39,726
The world needs antivenom,
Steve.
233
00:10:39,769 --> 00:10:41,858
Think of how many lives
we'll save.
234
00:10:41,902 --> 00:10:44,382
All right. We can try.
235
00:10:44,426 --> 00:10:46,689
Okay, now first we gotta
clack him outta that bush.
236
00:10:48,517 --> 00:10:50,345
Now hold up a second.
237
00:10:50,388 --> 00:10:51,955
I wanna make sure
we got a good one.
238
00:10:53,174 --> 00:10:55,089
Ow! It's him!
And he nipped me!
239
00:10:55,132 --> 00:10:56,786
- Oh, my God!
- I got nipped!
240
00:10:56,830 --> 00:10:58,353
Quick, grab his tail!
241
00:10:59,746 --> 00:11:02,139
Ohh, he's mad now!
Oh, he nipped me again!
242
00:11:02,183 --> 00:11:05,142
- I got nipped! You get nipped?
- Ohh! Yow! I got nipped!
243
00:11:05,186 --> 00:11:06,626
- I got nipped!
- I'm gettin' nipped!
244
00:11:07,362 --> 00:11:08,731
I'm gettin' nipped
a whole bunch right now!
245
00:11:08,755 --> 00:11:10,365
Ow! Let's bag this sucker!
246
00:11:10,408 --> 00:11:12,454
Get him in there! Aah!
247
00:11:12,497 --> 00:11:14,499
I'm trying!
248
00:11:18,199 --> 00:11:19,983
Ah! We did it, Steve.
249
00:11:22,377 --> 00:11:24,161
Oh, my God.
250
00:11:24,205 --> 00:11:26,947
He doesn't have his clackers.
He's doomed!
251
00:11:30,602 --> 00:11:32,953
Wife. Noun.
252
00:11:32,996 --> 00:11:35,782
A woman who regrets a decision.
253
00:11:38,785 --> 00:11:41,091
What then of "husband"?
254
00:11:41,135 --> 00:11:43,354
The man who begets her derision.
255
00:11:44,834 --> 00:11:48,708
More snaps! More snaps for you!
256
00:11:48,751 --> 00:11:51,188
Jeff, we simply have to have you
257
00:11:51,232 --> 00:11:53,364
as a contestant on
Oo Oo, I Know That.
258
00:11:53,408 --> 00:11:55,236
Johanna's going to be
a guest panelist.
259
00:11:55,279 --> 00:11:56,933
What do you say, Johanna?
260
00:11:56,977 --> 00:11:58,152
Certainly.
261
00:11:58,195 --> 00:12:00,284
So long as he helps me
with this devil
262
00:12:00,328 --> 00:12:02,460
of a New Yorker caption contest.
263
00:12:02,504 --> 00:12:04,375
Any suggestions?
264
00:12:05,942 --> 00:12:08,249
How about,
"I've heard of a bull market,
265
00:12:08,292 --> 00:12:09,903
but this is ridiculous"?
266
00:12:11,426 --> 00:12:15,560
Or, "Of course on the day
I wear my red tie."
267
00:12:15,604 --> 00:12:19,347
Or, "Everybody has been
saying the new guy is horny."
268
00:12:19,390 --> 00:12:21,349
"Think that belt
is real leather?"
269
00:12:21,392 --> 00:12:23,612
"I heard this place
had fresh beef,
270
00:12:23,655 --> 00:12:25,919
but this is ridiculous!"
271
00:12:28,617 --> 00:12:30,227
Now you do one, babe.
272
00:12:32,186 --> 00:12:34,057
Uhhhhhhh...
273
00:12:34,101 --> 00:12:37,539
Business... bull?
274
00:12:37,582 --> 00:12:39,125
- Ugh. That's just...
- That doesn't quite connect.
275
00:12:39,149 --> 00:12:40,629
- Nice try, but...
- Very, very bad.
276
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:52,510
What th... A weed gummy?!
277
00:12:52,554 --> 00:12:55,122
You know that could affect
my treatment!
278
00:12:55,165 --> 00:12:57,515
Oh, my God!
A-Are you trying to...
279
00:12:57,559 --> 00:12:59,343
sabotage me?!
280
00:12:59,387 --> 00:13:01,824
Playing "Rabbitage" by Weird Al.
281
00:13:05,393 --> 00:13:07,656
You know,
Johanna was right about you.
282
00:13:07,699 --> 00:13:10,093
You are pathologically insecure!
283
00:13:10,137 --> 00:13:13,009
Wh... You've been talking
to Johanna about us?
284
00:13:13,053 --> 00:13:15,533
First you risk my life
to make me smarter,
285
00:13:15,577 --> 00:13:18,449
now you nearly kill me
trying to dumb me back down?!
286
00:13:18,493 --> 00:13:20,016
I'm sorry, Jeff!
287
00:13:20,060 --> 00:13:22,212
I-I was scared you were getting
too smart for me and...
288
00:13:22,236 --> 00:13:23,846
But I should thank you.
289
00:13:23,890 --> 00:13:25,935
Because now that I am smart,
290
00:13:25,979 --> 00:13:29,417
I finally see what
a selfish person you are.
291
00:13:29,460 --> 00:13:31,332
No, Jeff, please don't see that!
292
00:13:31,375 --> 00:13:32,768
I never cared you weren't
293
00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:35,292
the most erudite person
in the world.
294
00:13:35,336 --> 00:13:39,557
But I can't be with someone
who's downright flagitious!
295
00:13:43,213 --> 00:13:45,259
- F-L...
- It means "villainous"!
296
00:13:45,302 --> 00:13:47,827
I know what it means!
297
00:13:52,919 --> 00:13:54,877
Well, Screechy, he did it.
298
00:13:54,921 --> 00:13:56,531
He won the Tournament
of Champions.
299
00:13:56,574 --> 00:13:57,662
Hoo.
300
00:13:57,706 --> 00:13:59,621
Don't make me say his name,
Screech.
301
00:13:59,664 --> 00:14:01,841
Hayley, honey?
302
00:14:01,884 --> 00:14:04,408
The ice-cream truck
just came by.
303
00:14:04,452 --> 00:14:07,759
I got you one of those
up Sonic the Hedgehogs.
304
00:14:07,803 --> 00:14:09,849
Thanks, Mom.
305
00:14:09,892 --> 00:14:11,589
You've just seemed so sad
306
00:14:11,633 --> 00:14:14,157
these last few months
since Jeff left.
307
00:14:14,201 --> 00:14:15,811
No, we've both moved on.
308
00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:17,682
He's with Johanna now,
309
00:14:17,726 --> 00:14:21,338
and I'm happy
with my new boyfriend ...ron.
310
00:14:21,382 --> 00:14:24,037
Dahhh! Hey, Hayley! Lookit!
311
00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:26,953
I knocked it right outta
its nest with a rock
312
00:14:26,996 --> 00:14:29,564
from all the way a long ways!
313
00:14:29,607 --> 00:14:31,218
Like, ungh!
314
00:14:31,261 --> 00:14:34,134
Myron! You're gonna get
West Nile again!
315
00:14:34,177 --> 00:14:36,919
Aww! You got a Sonic bar?!
Gimme!
316
00:14:38,486 --> 00:14:40,488
Let's go to the old tire factory
317
00:14:40,531 --> 00:14:42,882
and whip this bird
against the big rock!
318
00:14:49,584 --> 00:14:52,761
I wish Stan would
take me places.
319
00:14:52,804 --> 00:14:55,024
Waaaaah! Rock-throw!
320
00:14:55,068 --> 00:14:56,678
Million points!
321
00:14:56,721 --> 00:14:59,507
Hey, Hayley! You see that?
322
00:14:59,550 --> 00:15:01,335
Yes, Myron. Very good, Myron.
323
00:15:04,425 --> 00:15:06,731
Gouda Tenuta, what's nuts?
324
00:15:06,775 --> 00:15:09,082
Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down.
325
00:15:09,125 --> 00:15:10,953
Marco's been missing
for how long?
326
00:15:13,216 --> 00:15:15,566
Listen, I've been doing
a lot of research.
327
00:15:15,610 --> 00:15:17,960
Every male winner of
the Tournament of Champions
328
00:15:18,004 --> 00:15:20,397
has gone missing
a few weeks later.
329
00:15:20,441 --> 00:15:22,747
And it has something to do
with the McKennon Foundation.
330
00:15:22,791 --> 00:15:25,272
Oh, Hayley, conspiracy theories
331
00:15:25,315 --> 00:15:27,709
are the refuge
of the dispossessed.
332
00:15:27,752 --> 00:15:29,798
Kava root ristretto?
333
00:15:29,841 --> 00:15:32,975
Jeff, please. I think you
may be in some kind of danger.
334
00:15:33,019 --> 00:15:34,716
Only of losing my patience!
335
00:15:34,759 --> 00:15:36,979
Clearly,
you've transmuted your guilt
336
00:15:37,023 --> 00:15:38,676
over destroying our relationship
337
00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:40,678
into this absurd fairy tale.
338
00:15:40,722 --> 00:15:44,117
Well, enough.
It is over between us.
339
00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:54,736
Forget about her, lover.
340
00:15:54,779 --> 00:15:58,174
A brighter future awaits us.
341
00:15:58,218 --> 00:16:00,307
Let's play at puns.
342
00:16:00,350 --> 00:16:03,005
"Air Hare." Ten letters.
343
00:16:03,049 --> 00:16:04,876
Hmm. Kite Rabbit?
344
00:16:04,920 --> 00:16:08,054
Close.
But the answer is actually...
345
00:16:08,097 --> 00:16:09,925
Ether bunny!
346
00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:14,451
Come now, Jeff. Destiny calls.
347
00:16:17,585 --> 00:16:20,109
Wakey, wakey! Milk some snakeys!
348
00:16:20,153 --> 00:16:22,807
Time to get out there again,
right back on the horse.
349
00:16:22,851 --> 00:16:23,983
Clack clack clack!
350
00:16:24,026 --> 00:16:26,463
You must be suckin' the glass
351
00:16:26,507 --> 00:16:28,552
if you think
I'm going back out with you.
352
00:16:28,596 --> 00:16:30,250
You were never out
to save lives.
353
00:16:30,293 --> 00:16:31,991
You just wanted to make money.
354
00:16:32,034 --> 00:16:33,533
It may have started out
being about the money,
355
00:16:33,557 --> 00:16:34,950
but not anymore.
356
00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:36,908
Well, maybe a little.
I did sink quite a bit
357
00:16:36,952 --> 00:16:38,954
into having
all these T-shirts made.
358
00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:42,218
But otherwise,
now it's all about saving lives.
359
00:16:42,262 --> 00:16:45,265
I won't rest
until every snakebite victim
360
00:16:45,308 --> 00:16:46,875
has the antivenom they need!
361
00:17:01,977 --> 00:17:04,066
I'm afraid
you've single-handedly
362
00:17:04,110 --> 00:17:06,851
depleted the world's
entire supply of antivenom.
363
00:17:06,895 --> 00:17:09,941
Many have died,
and now you will, too.
364
00:17:09,985 --> 00:17:12,596
Clack's all... folks.
365
00:17:13,771 --> 00:17:16,165
My Chazz!
366
00:17:16,209 --> 00:17:17,819
Noooooooo!
367
00:17:19,212 --> 00:17:22,998
The Meisterzucht awakes!
368
00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:24,652
Wh-Where am I?
369
00:17:24,695 --> 00:17:28,047
At the threshold of a new age.
370
00:17:28,090 --> 00:17:29,396
Welcome...
371
00:17:29,439 --> 00:17:32,181
to the McKennon Foundation!
372
00:17:32,225 --> 00:17:34,140
Why are you doing this?!
373
00:17:34,183 --> 00:17:37,012
Why, to create
a brighter generation,
374
00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:40,711
free of dumdums,
dingdongs, and dingalings.
375
00:17:40,755 --> 00:17:43,627
We use Oo Oo, I Know That
376
00:17:43,671 --> 00:17:47,109
to identify intellects
of the highest genetic caliber,
377
00:17:47,153 --> 00:17:49,633
then harvest their seed to be...
378
00:17:49,677 --> 00:17:51,461
disseminated...
379
00:17:53,333 --> 00:17:56,379
Pun uh-very much intended.
380
00:17:56,423 --> 00:17:59,556
...to fertility clinics
the world over!
381
00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:04,735
And you, Jeff, you are
the most smartest one of all!
382
00:18:04,779 --> 00:18:06,476
Der Meisterzucht!
383
00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:08,739
The Master Stud!
384
00:18:08,783 --> 00:18:10,567
Commence milking!
385
00:18:15,224 --> 00:18:17,226
Yaaaaaaawwww! You might think
this would feel good,
386
00:18:17,270 --> 00:18:19,533
but it's agonyyyyyy!
387
00:18:25,060 --> 00:18:27,715
Ready the Meisterzucht
for harvest!
388
00:18:27,758 --> 00:18:30,500
Wait! No! No! Listen!
My genes are useless to you.
389
00:18:30,544 --> 00:18:33,286
My intelligence stems
from biomedical intervention!
390
00:18:33,329 --> 00:18:35,940
Uh, you don't think we already
tried that old chestnut...
391
00:18:35,984 --> 00:18:38,160
My balls!
392
00:18:39,205 --> 00:18:41,424
Milk the Meisterzucht!
393
00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:47,474
Yah, Myron! Yah!
394
00:18:48,823 --> 00:18:51,130
Myron! Attack!
395
00:18:51,173 --> 00:18:53,175
Rock! Bird! Bird!
396
00:18:53,219 --> 00:18:54,481
Rock! Rat!
397
00:18:56,047 --> 00:18:58,180
Let's get outta here.
398
00:19:05,318 --> 00:19:06,884
You came for me.
399
00:19:06,928 --> 00:19:09,452
Even though it means
now you'll die, too.
400
00:19:09,496 --> 00:19:10,801
What can I say?
401
00:19:10,845 --> 00:19:13,108
I think my problem
all along has been,
402
00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:17,068
when it comes to you,
I'm just a great big dummy.
403
00:19:18,461 --> 00:19:19,941
We gotta think of a way
out of here.
404
00:19:19,984 --> 00:19:21,832
But those are some of
the most intelligent people
405
00:19:21,856 --> 00:19:23,031
in the world out there.
406
00:19:23,074 --> 00:19:24,598
We'll never outsmart them!
407
00:19:24,641 --> 00:19:27,601
No. But we may be able
to outstupid them.
408
00:19:27,644 --> 00:19:30,386
I need to be dumb again,
so I can think up a plan
409
00:19:30,430 --> 00:19:32,693
so stupid
they could never expect it.
410
00:19:32,736 --> 00:19:35,043
How?! We don't have any weed!
411
00:19:35,086 --> 00:19:38,264
The answer's as easy
as autolobotomy.
412
00:19:43,530 --> 00:19:46,924
Have you ever wondered
what the colors on maps mean?
413
00:19:46,968 --> 00:19:49,057
They gotta mean something.
414
00:19:49,100 --> 00:19:51,146
Quick, what's your stupid plan?
415
00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:54,845
Since Vaseline is clear,
416
00:19:54,889 --> 00:19:57,021
once we cover ourselves in it...
417
00:19:57,065 --> 00:19:59,720
...we become absolutely,
418
00:19:59,763 --> 00:20:02,549
one-million-percent invisible.
419
00:20:02,592 --> 00:20:05,508
Oh, wow. This is stupid.
420
00:20:05,552 --> 00:20:07,423
Seize them!
421
00:20:12,689 --> 00:20:15,301
Uch! They're too damn slippery!
422
00:20:23,613 --> 00:20:26,921
The Spank Tank!
423
00:20:26,964 --> 00:20:29,053
All our precious seed!
424
00:20:38,585 --> 00:20:40,500
C'mon, Snugglesaurus.
425
00:20:40,543 --> 00:20:43,154
We can still make it
to the Great Valley.
426
00:20:43,198 --> 00:20:44,330
You know what I'm wondering?
427
00:20:44,373 --> 00:20:46,114
If we maybe should've
tried to save
428
00:20:46,157 --> 00:20:47,463
those other men
in that basement?
429
00:20:47,507 --> 00:20:48,769
No.
430
00:20:48,812 --> 00:20:51,119
Do you think all the dino-snaurs
stayed friends
431
00:20:51,162 --> 00:20:52,947
when they were done
shooting the movie?
432
00:20:52,990 --> 00:20:55,906
Babe, don't ever change.
433
00:20:55,950 --> 00:20:57,865
Have a great night!
31151
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof