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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:02,000 www.tvsubtitles.net 2 00:00:11,820 --> 00:00:14,680 Welcome to day 37 of The Box. 3 00:00:14,800 --> 00:00:17,501 - Twice in one week. - It's my new favorite show. 4 00:00:17,503 --> 00:00:18,654 Liking those numbers, huh? 5 00:00:18,656 --> 00:00:20,454 Liking them? They're what I think about 6 00:00:20,456 --> 00:00:21,992 when I'm screwing my wife. 7 00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:24,561 I really think we need to cut this whole bit with the boat. 8 00:00:24,586 --> 00:00:25,480 - No, you can't do that. - You can't. 9 00:00:25,482 --> 00:00:26,502 You need the boat bit. 10 00:00:26,510 --> 00:00:27,342 Darling, sometimes you have 11 00:00:27,344 --> 00:00:28,410 to let the words go. 12 00:00:28,412 --> 00:00:29,711 Do we? 13 00:00:29,713 --> 00:00:31,925 Where are we on my fucking window? 14 00:00:31,966 --> 00:00:33,154 You're an actor. 15 00:00:33,179 --> 00:00:34,211 Act like there's a window. 16 00:00:34,213 --> 00:00:35,312 You're a producer. 17 00:00:35,314 --> 00:00:36,713 Go fuck yourself. 18 00:00:36,715 --> 00:00:38,537 Let 's do it. You don' t need to mark it again? 19 00:00:38,539 --> 00:00:40,097 No, no, no, I'm good. Let's go. 20 00:00:40,104 --> 00:00:41,630 - Okay, on three. One, two... - Mm-hmm. 21 00:00:41,632 --> 00:00:44,294 Wait, is it on three? 22 00:00:44,795 --> 00:00:46,417 - Good news? - You know that guy 23 00:00:46,442 --> 00:00:48,101 who got my part in the NBC pilot? 24 00:00:48,103 --> 00:00:49,610 Anthony Powner Smith. 25 00:00:49,612 --> 00:00:51,422 Just had a kickboxing accident. 26 00:00:51,424 --> 00:00:53,122 Paralyzed! 27 00:00:53,124 --> 00:00:54,650 Oh, my God. 28 00:00:54,652 --> 00:00:56,350 Well, temporarily... but long enough 29 00:00:56,352 --> 00:00:57,951 that he can't do the pilot. 30 00:00:59,433 --> 00:01:00,858 You won't leave your house. 31 00:01:00,955 --> 00:01:02,121 You're stoned before breakfast. 32 00:01:02,123 --> 00:01:03,756 And you look like... 33 00:01:03,758 --> 00:01:05,052 I look like what? 34 00:01:05,054 --> 00:01:06,826 You look like what I imagine you'd look like 35 00:01:06,828 --> 00:01:08,761 if you'd never left Michigan. 36 00:01:08,763 --> 00:01:10,963 Mr. Lapidus, Matt LeBlanc, 37 00:01:10,965 --> 00:01:13,549 he's kind of having a sex thing with Danika. 38 00:01:13,551 --> 00:01:15,435 Do me a favor, Kenny. 39 00:01:15,437 --> 00:01:18,723 Switch the live feed to Danika's box. 40 00:01:18,725 --> 00:01:20,038 Are you sure? 41 00:01:20,040 --> 00:01:21,373 Absolutely. 42 00:01:21,375 --> 00:01:23,217 I take full responsibility. 43 00:01:25,236 --> 00:01:27,696 Ah, that's nice. 44 00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:46,459 Synced & corrected by -robtor- www.addic7ed.com 45 00:02:23,174 --> 00:02:24,948 - Have you seen this? - What? 46 00:02:24,973 --> 00:02:26,688 The Matt LeBlanc show? Oh, yeah. 47 00:02:26,713 --> 00:02:28,273 It's unbelievable. 48 00:02:28,298 --> 00:02:30,058 What the hell was he thinking? 49 00:02:30,083 --> 00:02:31,504 What was who thinking? 50 00:02:31,529 --> 00:02:32,559 Are you kidding? 51 00:02:32,584 --> 00:02:33,920 How have you not seen it? 52 00:02:34,215 --> 00:02:35,581 Mm? 53 00:02:37,476 --> 00:02:38,475 Mm. 54 00:02:39,467 --> 00:02:41,520 Mm! 55 00:02:41,522 --> 00:02:44,036 Jesus, it's fucking everywhere! 56 00:02:44,038 --> 00:02:45,936 Elliot Salad on one. 57 00:02:45,938 --> 00:02:47,492 Shit. 58 00:02:47,494 --> 00:02:48,832 Uh... 59 00:02:49,373 --> 00:02:50,570 tell him you can't find me. 60 00:02:50,572 --> 00:02:52,127 Then get me Roger Riskin! 61 00:02:52,129 --> 00:02:53,794 Helen Basch on one. 62 00:02:53,796 --> 00:02:55,576 Shit. 63 00:02:55,759 --> 00:02:58,327 Uh, tell her I'm in a meeting. Any luck? 64 00:02:58,352 --> 00:03:00,352 I tried Malibu. I tried his ranch. 65 00:03:00,354 --> 00:03:01,749 Try the vineyard. 66 00:03:01,751 --> 00:03:02,862 Voice mail. 67 00:03:02,864 --> 00:03:03,762 Fuck! 68 00:03:03,764 --> 00:03:05,086 Well, keep trying. 69 00:03:18,757 --> 00:03:20,233 Booth. 70 00:03:20,235 --> 00:03:21,768 Yes, he is. Hold on. 71 00:03:21,770 --> 00:03:23,280 Helen Basch for you. 72 00:03:26,057 --> 00:03:27,056 Hello. 73 00:03:27,081 --> 00:03:29,893 What kind of swirling vortex 74 00:03:29,918 --> 00:03:31,945 of fuckup are you running over there? 75 00:03:31,947 --> 00:03:35,113 No, no, no, no, no, you're not putting this on me. 76 00:03:35,115 --> 00:03:37,659 It's not my job to keep his dick in his pants. 77 00:03:37,661 --> 00:03:40,802 It's your job not to put it on television. 78 00:03:40,846 --> 00:03:42,630 Who's watching the fucking monitors? 79 00:03:42,632 --> 00:03:45,256 Believe me, that putz is long gone. 80 00:03:45,258 --> 00:03:47,364 I canned his ass so fast. 81 00:03:47,366 --> 00:03:49,874 Yeah, well, you're the one who put him in that booth. 82 00:03:49,876 --> 00:03:52,025 - This is on you. - Bullshit. 83 00:03:52,105 --> 00:03:54,615 Who made me hire LeBlanc in the first place? 84 00:03:54,617 --> 00:03:56,908 Oh, no, you don't. 85 00:03:56,910 --> 00:03:58,910 I gave you a whole list of hosts. 86 00:03:58,912 --> 00:04:01,835 You gave me a stack of obituaries. 87 00:04:02,637 --> 00:04:04,077 They weren't all dead. 88 00:04:04,351 --> 00:04:05,501 All right. 89 00:04:06,029 --> 00:04:08,004 Enough with the finger-pointing. So now what? 90 00:04:08,006 --> 00:04:08,993 Dump him. 91 00:04:08,995 --> 00:04:10,393 Are you crazy? 92 00:04:10,395 --> 00:04:12,657 We don't need that asshole. 93 00:04:12,659 --> 00:04:15,912 This show's been a hit in 41 countries without him. 94 00:04:15,914 --> 00:04:18,362 No, it's the one thing I've got that's working. 95 00:04:18,364 --> 00:04:20,264 - I'm not screwing with it. - It's already screwed. 96 00:04:20,266 --> 00:04:22,800 America can't unsee what they saw. 97 00:04:22,802 --> 00:04:26,740 America saw Ruby shoot Oswald. They'll get over it. 98 00:04:26,742 --> 00:04:28,255 Look, I'm just gonna say one thing, 99 00:04:28,257 --> 00:04:30,006 and I-I'm not pointing fingers. 100 00:04:30,008 --> 00:04:31,840 This never would've happened 101 00:04:31,842 --> 00:04:33,876 if we had gone with Art Fleming. 102 00:04:33,878 --> 00:04:36,401 Art Fleming's been dead for 20 years! 103 00:04:37,234 --> 00:04:38,661 Jesus, is it that long? 104 00:04:39,138 --> 00:04:40,584 What am I looking at? 105 00:04:40,586 --> 00:04:41,851 Just watch. 106 00:04:43,887 --> 00:04:45,119 Oh... 107 00:04:47,204 --> 00:04:50,170 Oh... my... 108 00:04:50,172 --> 00:04:51,760 Mm-hmm. 109 00:04:51,762 --> 00:04:52,828 No... oh. 110 00:04:52,830 --> 00:04:55,063 No. 111 00:04:55,065 --> 00:04:56,330 No, no, no. 112 00:04:56,332 --> 00:04:57,999 Please tell me he's not gonna take it... 113 00:04:58,001 --> 00:04:59,192 Oh, he took it out! 114 00:04:59,194 --> 00:05:01,010 - There's more. - Mo-more? 115 00:05:01,012 --> 00:05:03,179 Oh. 116 00:05:03,181 --> 00:05:07,245 Oh! Good Lord. 117 00:05:07,247 --> 00:05:10,502 Look at him go. I swear I just saw a spark. 118 00:05:10,504 --> 00:05:11,946 Not over. 119 00:05:11,948 --> 00:05:13,448 N-no. 120 00:05:13,450 --> 00:05:14,815 No. 121 00:05:14,817 --> 00:05:17,747 No. Oh! 122 00:05:17,749 --> 00:05:20,155 No. 123 00:05:20,157 --> 00:05:22,475 Ah! Tell me it's over. 124 00:05:22,477 --> 00:05:23,320 Did he shake it yet? 125 00:05:23,322 --> 00:05:24,327 - Just did. - It's over. 126 00:05:24,329 --> 00:05:26,034 Oh. Oh! 127 00:05:28,401 --> 00:05:30,375 It just passed 15 million views. 128 00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:32,832 That's more than watch the fucking show. 129 00:05:32,834 --> 00:05:35,751 It's already bigger than that chicken getting bar mitzvahed. 130 00:05:36,413 --> 00:05:38,237 That really made me laugh. 131 00:05:39,786 --> 00:05:41,245 He had a little yarmulke. 132 00:05:42,905 --> 00:05:44,795 Patty, call Roger again! 133 00:05:44,820 --> 00:05:46,033 Tell him I know that little shit's 134 00:05:46,058 --> 00:05:47,264 - not in a meeting! - Okay. 135 00:05:47,289 --> 00:05:49,850 Pepsi just pulled out, and Ford is waffling. 136 00:05:49,875 --> 00:05:51,187 God damn it. 137 00:05:51,212 --> 00:05:52,988 Maybe we should preempt tonight. 138 00:05:53,013 --> 00:05:54,986 - And run what? - I'd run the tape. 139 00:05:55,011 --> 00:05:57,144 Roger's supposedly 140 00:05:57,169 --> 00:06:00,176 still in a meeting, and Elliot Salad's on one. 141 00:06:00,262 --> 00:06:01,611 Again. 142 00:06:03,038 --> 00:06:04,013 Elliot. 143 00:06:04,038 --> 00:06:05,657 Tell me we can fix this. 144 00:06:05,682 --> 00:06:06,779 We're on it. 145 00:06:06,804 --> 00:06:09,035 You hear that we lost Pepsi and Ford? 146 00:06:09,060 --> 00:06:10,691 I heard Ford was waffling. 147 00:06:10,716 --> 00:06:13,290 Well, whatever comes after waffling, they just did. 148 00:06:13,546 --> 00:06:15,209 Also Kraft Mayonnaise. 149 00:06:15,234 --> 00:06:16,967 Well, that makes sense. 150 00:06:17,337 --> 00:06:19,045 It's visceral. 151 00:06:19,593 --> 00:06:22,157 Oh, and we just had a call from the FCC. 152 00:06:22,609 --> 00:06:25,552 They're raising questions about the integrity of the game. 153 00:06:25,612 --> 00:06:27,143 Well, I've got Legal making sure 154 00:06:27,168 --> 00:06:28,890 he didn't actually break any rules. 155 00:06:28,915 --> 00:06:30,037 The rules? 156 00:06:30,062 --> 00:06:31,933 Nobody understands those fucking rules. 157 00:06:31,958 --> 00:06:33,685 This is about perception. 158 00:06:33,819 --> 00:06:35,485 It looks like he broke the rules. 159 00:06:35,648 --> 00:06:38,006 It looks like he broke the rules all over that box! 160 00:06:39,274 --> 00:06:41,635 Mm. 161 00:06:41,746 --> 00:06:43,262 Helen Basch on one. 162 00:06:43,287 --> 00:06:46,517 She says pick up or she's coming over with a bat. 163 00:06:46,542 --> 00:06:47,641 Fuck. 164 00:06:48,398 --> 00:06:49,761 Good timing. 165 00:06:49,786 --> 00:06:51,309 My meeting just ended. What can I do for you? 166 00:06:51,488 --> 00:06:53,322 How about you invent a time machine, 167 00:06:53,347 --> 00:06:54,922 go back to yesterday, 168 00:06:54,947 --> 00:06:57,150 and cock-block your fucking client? 169 00:06:57,455 --> 00:06:59,090 - Saw it, did you? - I saw it. 170 00:06:59,115 --> 00:07:01,900 I think it's safe to say everyone but Andrea Bocelli 171 00:07:01,925 --> 00:07:04,032 and that blind dog on YouTube saw it. 172 00:07:04,057 --> 00:07:05,465 What blind dog on YouTube? 173 00:07:05,490 --> 00:07:08,094 Oh, I'll send you the link. It barks 'Georgia on My Mind.' 174 00:07:08,119 --> 00:07:09,028 Mm. 175 00:07:09,053 --> 00:07:11,458 Look, Matt feels terrible. 176 00:07:11,483 --> 00:07:13,932 He knows this was a massive lapse of judgment. 177 00:07:13,957 --> 00:07:15,984 He'd love to speak to you and explain. 178 00:07:16,009 --> 00:07:17,809 Fine, patch him in. 179 00:07:17,834 --> 00:07:18,943 Uh, 180 00:07:18,968 --> 00:07:20,177 we can totally do that. 181 00:07:20,202 --> 00:07:22,126 Except, um, at the moment... 182 00:07:22,151 --> 00:07:23,569 You haven't even talked to him, have you? 183 00:07:23,594 --> 00:07:24,922 As of right now, I believe I have not. 184 00:07:24,947 --> 00:07:26,913 Well, when you do, 185 00:07:26,938 --> 00:07:30,700 he better have a fucking miracle of an explanation, 186 00:07:30,773 --> 00:07:33,820 because I need a really good reason not to fire his ass. 187 00:07:43,660 --> 00:07:45,947 Why are we still discussing this? 188 00:07:45,972 --> 00:07:46,887 Just get rid of him. 189 00:07:46,912 --> 00:07:48,612 Not till I hear his side of it. 190 00:07:48,637 --> 00:07:50,469 Who cares about his side? 191 00:07:50,494 --> 00:07:52,291 If this were any other game show... 192 00:07:52,316 --> 00:07:54,599 What if you saw a video of Alex Trebek 193 00:07:54,624 --> 00:07:56,431 jerking off on some contestant? 194 00:07:56,456 --> 00:07:58,489 'What is not on my face,' Alex? 195 00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:00,645 There's no show without him. 196 00:08:00,774 --> 00:08:02,049 He's the show! 197 00:08:02,074 --> 00:08:03,049 Bullshit. 198 00:08:03,074 --> 00:08:04,526 The show's the show. 199 00:08:04,551 --> 00:08:05,819 Look at Millionaire. 200 00:08:05,844 --> 00:08:08,419 Regis left years ago and it's still going strong. 201 00:08:08,444 --> 00:08:10,278 Who knows who's hosting it now? 202 00:08:10,303 --> 00:08:11,711 Not Art Fleming. 203 00:08:31,294 --> 00:08:34,164 Mm. 204 00:08:34,166 --> 00:08:35,790 Hi, honey, it's Beth. 205 00:08:35,815 --> 00:08:37,809 - Mm. - So it's a clusterfuck. 206 00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:39,438 What? 207 00:08:39,463 --> 00:08:40,496 You, last night. 208 00:08:41,840 --> 00:08:42,738 What? 209 00:08:42,862 --> 00:08:45,483 You know, I'm gonna conference Roger in. 210 00:08:47,318 --> 00:08:48,798 Hey, bud. 211 00:08:48,800 --> 00:08:50,082 What's going on? 212 00:08:50,084 --> 00:08:52,714 We've got a bit of a problem here. 213 00:08:53,099 --> 00:08:54,088 With what? 214 00:08:54,090 --> 00:08:56,022 That little show you did last night? 215 00:08:56,024 --> 00:08:57,227 Ah, you watched my show? 216 00:08:57,229 --> 00:08:59,954 Oh, pretty much everyone watched your show. 217 00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:01,396 Huh? 218 00:09:01,398 --> 00:09:03,173 - The girl? - What girl? 219 00:09:03,175 --> 00:09:04,369 Box number two? 220 00:09:04,371 --> 00:09:06,029 Without the pants? 221 00:09:08,097 --> 00:09:09,401 How do you know about that? 222 00:09:09,687 --> 00:09:12,177 Um, 'cause I' m looking at it right now. 223 00:09:12,362 --> 00:09:14,041 - You're looking at it? - From the feed. 224 00:09:14,043 --> 00:09:16,552 - What feed? - The 24-hour feed? 225 00:09:16,554 --> 00:09:19,175 You know how at the end of every show, you say, 226 00:09:19,177 --> 00:09:23,866 'Remember to follow us live online, 24 hours a day'? 227 00:09:23,868 --> 00:09:26,631 That's what that means. 228 00:09:26,633 --> 00:09:27,753 - Yup. - Yup. 229 00:09:27,755 --> 00:09:29,553 Oh, shit. 230 00:09:29,555 --> 00:09:30,938 Where is it? 231 00:09:30,940 --> 00:09:32,241 Oh, it's pretty much everywhere. 232 00:09:32,243 --> 00:09:33,166 If you go to your kitchen, 233 00:09:33,168 --> 00:09:35,355 your microwave's probably showing it. 234 00:09:35,357 --> 00:09:37,623 Fuck. 235 00:09:40,087 --> 00:09:41,354 Holy crap. 236 00:09:41,696 --> 00:09:42,804 What's he doing? 237 00:09:42,829 --> 00:09:44,401 Just watch. 238 00:09:44,939 --> 00:09:46,156 Whoa. 239 00:09:46,181 --> 00:09:48,338 You could see that thing from space. 240 00:09:51,171 --> 00:09:55,285 Oh, my God! 241 00:09:55,287 --> 00:09:58,176 Oh, my God! 242 00:09:58,178 --> 00:09:59,930 Oh, my God! 243 00:09:59,932 --> 00:10:01,030 You're welcome. 244 00:10:01,032 --> 00:10:02,363 No. 245 00:10:02,365 --> 00:10:04,515 Rosa just showed up. Shit. 246 00:10:04,517 --> 00:10:05,428 Rosa? 247 00:10:05,430 --> 00:10:06,804 My maid. 248 00:10:06,806 --> 00:10:08,623 Is it Tuesday again? 249 00:10:08,625 --> 00:10:12,347 Uh, yeah, it's been happening every week right around now. 250 00:10:12,349 --> 00:10:14,939 Shit! She's getting out of the car. 251 00:10:14,941 --> 00:10:17,036 Is this some kind of murdering maid? 252 00:10:17,038 --> 00:10:20,164 Probably. I haven't paid her in, like, four weeks. 253 00:10:20,166 --> 00:10:21,348 - Why? - 'Cause I' ve been 254 00:10:21,350 --> 00:10:22,758 saving up to buy a pony. 255 00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:24,532 - I'm broke! - That broke? 256 00:10:24,534 --> 00:10:26,075 Yes, that broke. 257 00:10:26,077 --> 00:10:28,146 Then why not just let her go? 258 00:10:28,148 --> 00:10:29,678 I don't want to lose her. 259 00:10:29,680 --> 00:10:30,947 No, of course not. 260 00:10:30,949 --> 00:10:32,545 Oh, fuck! 261 00:10:32,547 --> 00:10:33,731 Here she comes. 262 00:10:33,733 --> 00:10:36,152 I'm gonna dead-bolt the door. 263 00:10:36,694 --> 00:10:38,019 What's happening? 264 00:10:38,021 --> 00:10:39,205 Shh! 265 00:10:41,268 --> 00:10:43,134 Oh! 266 00:10:44,630 --> 00:10:46,364 Hey, Rosa. 267 00:10:46,390 --> 00:10:47,651 Hola. 268 00:10:47,676 --> 00:10:51,332 Uh, I was just looking for my, um, 269 00:10:51,892 --> 00:10:52,925 um... 270 00:10:52,990 --> 00:10:54,103 Dignity? 271 00:10:54,128 --> 00:10:56,239 I... 272 00:10:56,525 --> 00:10:57,904 Jesus. 273 00:10:57,929 --> 00:10:59,629 Well, can't they just take the fucking thing down? 274 00:10:59,669 --> 00:11:02,328 Honey, it's the Internet. There is no down. 275 00:11:02,353 --> 00:11:04,820 So, uh, not to judge, but... 276 00:11:05,174 --> 00:11:06,568 what the hell were you thinking? 277 00:11:06,570 --> 00:11:07,955 I don't know. 278 00:11:07,957 --> 00:11:09,489 I guess I was thinking, 279 00:11:09,491 --> 00:11:11,704 'I sure wish I could get through that glass.' 280 00:11:12,495 --> 00:11:14,446 Y-you're not getting how serious this is. 281 00:11:14,448 --> 00:11:16,925 Look, I had a few beers. She was hot. 282 00:11:16,927 --> 00:11:18,906 Realistically, how else was that gonna end? 283 00:11:18,908 --> 00:11:20,981 Well, it might end with you out of a job. 284 00:11:20,983 --> 00:11:22,135 Oh, come on. 285 00:11:22,137 --> 00:11:23,658 They're freaking out over there. 286 00:11:23,660 --> 00:11:26,459 It had nothing to do with their stupid game. 287 00:11:26,461 --> 00:11:28,626 They're saying it looks like 288 00:11:28,628 --> 00:11:31,197 you're giving one contestant 289 00:11:31,758 --> 00:11:33,319 preferential treatment. 290 00:11:33,321 --> 00:11:34,233 Fine. 291 00:11:34,235 --> 00:11:36,121 I'll whack off on all their boxes. 292 00:11:36,123 --> 00:11:38,556 Yeah, I'm not writing this down. 293 00:11:39,140 --> 00:11:40,857 Wait a minute, if they fire me, 294 00:11:40,859 --> 00:11:42,922 - they still have to pay me, right? - No. 295 00:11:42,924 --> 00:11:44,441 I thought we had a pay-or-play deal. 296 00:11:44,443 --> 00:11:45,534 There's a morals clause. 297 00:11:45,536 --> 00:11:46,916 A morals clause? 298 00:11:46,918 --> 00:11:48,536 You never told me there was a morals clause. 299 00:11:48,538 --> 00:11:49,908 I never thought it would matter. 300 00:11:49,910 --> 00:11:51,279 With me? 301 00:11:51,281 --> 00:11:52,326 You know what? 302 00:11:52,328 --> 00:11:53,756 If they want to fire me, then fuck 'em. 303 00:11:53,758 --> 00:11:54,651 You can 't fuck' em. 304 00:11:54,653 --> 00:11:55,898 Oh, I can fuck 'em. 305 00:11:55,900 --> 00:11:57,636 - What about the money? - Fuck the money. 306 00:11:57,638 --> 00:11:59,715 Never fuck the money! 307 00:12:02,549 --> 00:12:04,249 You can't afford to fuck the money. 308 00:12:04,417 --> 00:12:05,892 You know that. 309 00:12:07,717 --> 00:12:08,563 So now what? 310 00:12:08,594 --> 00:12:09,562 Beth? 311 00:12:09,587 --> 00:12:11,664 Well, you start by releasing a statement 312 00:12:11,689 --> 00:12:14,252 accepting full responsibility for your actions. 313 00:12:14,277 --> 00:12:15,506 Fine. 314 00:12:15,508 --> 00:12:16,945 You apologize 315 00:12:16,947 --> 00:12:18,753 to the network and to your fans. 316 00:12:18,755 --> 00:12:21,292 You acknowledge you have a serious problem. 317 00:12:21,294 --> 00:12:23,589 And then you say you're going into rehab 318 00:12:23,591 --> 00:12:24,936 for sexual addiction. 319 00:12:24,938 --> 00:12:26,271 No! 320 00:12:26,273 --> 00:12:27,895 Look, this is bullshit. 321 00:12:27,897 --> 00:12:28,957 I'm calling the network. 322 00:12:28,959 --> 00:12:30,250 Do not call the network. 323 00:12:30,252 --> 00:12:31,243 We will handle it. 324 00:12:31,245 --> 00:12:32,518 I'm calling Elliot Salad. 325 00:12:32,520 --> 00:12:33,736 Do not call Elliot Salad. 326 00:12:33,738 --> 00:12:35,281 Why not? He loves me. 327 00:12:35,283 --> 00:12:36,286 Listen to me, 328 00:12:36,288 --> 00:12:38,094 do not call Elliot Salad. 329 00:12:38,096 --> 00:12:39,553 I'm calling Elliot Salad. 330 00:12:39,555 --> 00:12:40,582 I'm begging you, 331 00:12:40,584 --> 00:12:42,508 do not call Elliot Salad! 332 00:12:42,510 --> 00:12:44,938 You can't stop me from calling Elliot Salad. 333 00:12:44,940 --> 00:12:46,787 I'm calling Elliot Salad. 334 00:12:50,940 --> 00:12:53,975 Matt LeBlanc on one. 335 00:12:53,977 --> 00:12:55,458 Yeah? 336 00:12:55,460 --> 00:12:57,218 I need Elliot Salad's number. 337 00:12:58,332 --> 00:12:59,695 What happened to me? 338 00:13:00,974 --> 00:13:02,765 I was important. 339 00:13:03,773 --> 00:13:05,894 I had a career. 340 00:13:06,644 --> 00:13:08,714 People brought me lunch. 341 00:13:09,817 --> 00:13:11,350 They kissed my ass. 342 00:13:12,294 --> 00:13:14,027 Now look at it. 343 00:13:14,408 --> 00:13:15,778 It's just an ass. 344 00:13:21,705 --> 00:13:23,092 Do you need to get that? 345 00:13:26,606 --> 00:13:27,617 Mm. 346 00:13:28,654 --> 00:13:29,644 It's like, 347 00:13:30,417 --> 00:13:32,962 I remember this one particular day. 348 00:13:33,922 --> 00:13:36,381 I was in New York for the up-fronts. 349 00:13:37,008 --> 00:13:39,317 It was my first one. 350 00:13:39,594 --> 00:13:41,346 I was so young. 351 00:13:42,222 --> 00:13:45,857 And... in that one day, 352 00:13:46,404 --> 00:13:50,595 I was in the room when they canceled the John Stamos show; 353 00:13:51,282 --> 00:13:53,650 I saw Brooke Shields 354 00:13:54,317 --> 00:13:56,900 in the lobby of my hotel; 355 00:13:58,196 --> 00:13:59,876 and that night, 356 00:13:59,878 --> 00:14:03,420 I blew Wilmer Valderrama 357 00:14:03,422 --> 00:14:06,376 in the bathroom at the after party. 358 00:14:08,164 --> 00:14:11,415 It was just the most magical day. 359 00:14:13,502 --> 00:14:15,418 And I thought, 360 00:14:15,420 --> 00:14:17,569 'Oh, my God. 361 00:14:17,571 --> 00:14:21,055 Look at my life.' 362 00:14:22,655 --> 00:14:24,205 And now? 363 00:14:24,207 --> 00:14:26,495 Oh, my God. 364 00:14:26,497 --> 00:14:29,018 Look at my life. 365 00:14:35,316 --> 00:14:36,757 By the way, 366 00:14:37,436 --> 00:14:40,040 thank you again for taking my watch. 367 00:14:40,571 --> 00:14:42,610 It looks really good on you. 368 00:14:42,991 --> 00:14:45,268 And I'm telling you it's worth 369 00:14:45,270 --> 00:14:47,929 so much more than four weeks' pay. 370 00:14:49,179 --> 00:14:52,375 You did very well, my friend. 371 00:14:56,182 --> 00:14:59,677 Kelsey Grammer once called me 'fetching.' 372 00:14:59,985 --> 00:15:01,994 This is out. 373 00:15:03,516 --> 00:15:05,779 Matt LeBlanc on one. 374 00:15:05,804 --> 00:15:07,170 Shit. 375 00:15:10,894 --> 00:15:12,314 Hello. 376 00:15:12,621 --> 00:15:14,353 Hey, Elliot. 377 00:15:14,453 --> 00:15:15,668 How's it going? 378 00:15:15,670 --> 00:15:16,748 I've been better. 379 00:15:16,750 --> 00:15:18,114 Yeah, look... 380 00:15:18,116 --> 00:15:19,813 I don't know what to say. 381 00:15:19,815 --> 00:15:21,931 I am so sorry. 382 00:15:21,933 --> 00:15:24,103 It was beyond stupid. 383 00:15:24,105 --> 00:15:25,296 I cannot disagree. 384 00:15:25,298 --> 00:15:27,958 If I could undo it, I would. I swear. 385 00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:29,919 I feel terrible. 386 00:15:29,921 --> 00:15:31,425 Well, you should. 387 00:15:31,427 --> 00:15:33,527 What the hell was going through that brain of yours? 388 00:15:33,529 --> 00:15:35,511 Nothing. That's the problem. 389 00:15:35,513 --> 00:15:37,474 I just saw her, and she was there, and... 390 00:15:37,476 --> 00:15:40,456 Yeah, well, I gotta say, I can't fault your taste in women. 391 00:15:40,458 --> 00:15:42,106 That girl is something. 392 00:15:42,108 --> 00:15:43,228 I know, right? 393 00:15:43,230 --> 00:15:45,914 And she was doing yoga. 394 00:15:45,916 --> 00:15:47,114 I hear you. 395 00:15:47,116 --> 00:15:48,484 There's something about a woman 396 00:15:48,486 --> 00:15:50,259 who can put her heels behind her ears. 397 00:15:50,261 --> 00:15:51,381 Thank you. 398 00:15:51,383 --> 00:15:53,854 I mean, how do you say no to that? 399 00:15:53,856 --> 00:15:56,946 Funny thing, looking at you with that girl in the box 400 00:15:56,948 --> 00:15:59,583 took me back to something that happened to me 401 00:15:59,585 --> 00:16:01,752 which was not entirely dissimilar. 402 00:16:01,754 --> 00:16:02,960 No kidding? 403 00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:04,309 This is years ago. 404 00:16:04,311 --> 00:16:06,108 Just off Times Square. 405 00:16:06,110 --> 00:16:08,261 Near Nathan's. You remember Nathan's? 406 00:16:08,676 --> 00:16:09,567 Sure. 407 00:16:09,569 --> 00:16:11,200 I was walking down the street. 408 00:16:11,202 --> 00:16:13,329 And I saw this woman in a phone booth. 409 00:16:14,182 --> 00:16:16,000 She was magnificent. 410 00:16:16,434 --> 00:16:18,289 A body to die for. 411 00:16:18,723 --> 00:16:21,646 Like a young Cyd Charisse. You remember Cyd Charisse? 412 00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:22,819 Totally. 413 00:16:22,821 --> 00:16:24,367 Singing in the Rain? 414 00:16:24,369 --> 00:16:26,673 - The Band Wagon... - Band Wagon, sure. 415 00:16:26,675 --> 00:16:27,959 Anyway, it was 416 00:16:27,961 --> 00:16:29,284 a hot summer night, 417 00:16:29,286 --> 00:16:31,680 even hotter in that phone booth with the door closed. 418 00:16:31,682 --> 00:16:34,048 So I'm standing there, 419 00:16:34,050 --> 00:16:35,380 watching her, 420 00:16:35,382 --> 00:16:37,410 kind of in the shadows. 421 00:16:37,412 --> 00:16:39,947 And I notice this one 422 00:16:39,949 --> 00:16:42,406 little bead of sweat 423 00:16:42,408 --> 00:16:45,504 slowly rolling down her bare shoulder. 424 00:16:46,297 --> 00:16:47,824 And she turns, 425 00:16:48,697 --> 00:16:50,730 and her eyes catch mine. 426 00:16:51,786 --> 00:16:54,702 It was this charged erotic moment. 427 00:16:55,206 --> 00:16:57,437 And much like you and your girl in the box, 428 00:16:57,439 --> 00:16:59,238 it led to some, uh, 429 00:16:59,836 --> 00:17:01,605 self-pleasuring, 430 00:17:01,607 --> 00:17:03,381 if you catch my drift. 431 00:17:03,878 --> 00:17:05,404 I'm catching it. 432 00:17:05,406 --> 00:17:06,495 Of course, 433 00:17:06,497 --> 00:17:08,848 my situation was slightly different in that 434 00:17:08,850 --> 00:17:11,083 she had no idea what was happening. 435 00:17:11,085 --> 00:17:12,442 When she looked down 436 00:17:12,444 --> 00:17:15,387 and saw what I was doing, she let out a-a scream. 437 00:17:15,389 --> 00:17:16,772 It was so loud, you could hear it 438 00:17:16,774 --> 00:17:18,604 through the glass with the door closed. 439 00:17:18,606 --> 00:17:20,280 But that's all I needed. 440 00:17:20,282 --> 00:17:22,172 By the time the cops came, 441 00:17:22,174 --> 00:17:25,278 I was done, zipped up, and halfway down 46th Street. 442 00:17:27,444 --> 00:17:28,577 Wow. 443 00:17:29,056 --> 00:17:31,435 You don't see phone booths anymore. 444 00:17:31,437 --> 00:17:33,371 And they call that progress. 445 00:17:33,373 --> 00:17:34,798 Right. 446 00:17:34,800 --> 00:17:36,874 Anyway, the show. 447 00:17:36,876 --> 00:17:39,643 So... we're okay? 448 00:17:39,645 --> 00:17:42,112 Well, let us think about it. 449 00:17:42,114 --> 00:17:43,666 We'll discuss. 450 00:17:43,668 --> 00:17:45,583 But I'm really glad you called. 451 00:17:45,585 --> 00:17:46,865 Me too. 452 00:17:46,867 --> 00:17:49,195 Thank you so much. 453 00:17:49,197 --> 00:17:51,354 Elliot Salad on one. 454 00:17:53,999 --> 00:17:54,998 Fire him. 455 00:17:55,313 --> 00:17:56,480 You sure? 456 00:17:56,505 --> 00:17:59,005 Yeah, that guy should not be hosting a family show. 457 00:17:59,030 --> 00:18:00,688 Gives me the creeps. 458 00:18:08,243 --> 00:18:09,430 Yo. 459 00:18:09,432 --> 00:18:11,018 Bad news, bud. 460 00:18:11,020 --> 00:18:12,333 What? 461 00:18:12,335 --> 00:18:14,188 I just talked to Elliot Salad. 462 00:18:14,190 --> 00:18:15,865 He-he said he was gonna think about it. 463 00:18:15,867 --> 00:18:17,913 Well, he... thought about it. 464 00:18:19,795 --> 00:18:21,146 Fuck! 465 00:18:23,830 --> 00:18:26,521 - Well done. - That was great, thank you. 466 00:18:26,523 --> 00:18:27,455 Thank you so much for coming in. 467 00:18:27,457 --> 00:18:29,170 I liked her a lot. 468 00:18:29,172 --> 00:18:30,256 She made some very smart choices. 469 00:18:30,258 --> 00:18:31,070 Mm. 470 00:18:31,072 --> 00:18:33,127 I thought she was a bit rumpy. 471 00:18:34,273 --> 00:18:35,306 As in? 472 00:18:36,105 --> 00:18:37,136 Too much rump. 473 00:18:37,161 --> 00:18:37,993 - Too much rump. - Mm. 474 00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:39,809 Switch seats with me. 475 00:18:43,028 --> 00:18:43,961 Who's next? 476 00:18:43,986 --> 00:18:45,818 Uh, Anthony Powner Smith. 477 00:18:45,847 --> 00:18:47,313 - No. No, no, no, no. - What? 478 00:18:47,338 --> 00:18:48,721 We had this conversation. 479 00:18:48,746 --> 00:18:50,155 - Did we? - You know we did. 480 00:18:50,180 --> 00:18:51,922 It was the day you brought in your apple crumble. 481 00:18:51,947 --> 00:18:53,914 Mmm, I remember the crumble. 482 00:18:54,049 --> 00:18:55,620 I 'm sure you' ll recall, 483 00:18:55,645 --> 00:18:57,545 as you were whipping your cinnamon cream, 484 00:18:57,570 --> 00:19:01,294 we had a vehement conversation about Anthony Powner Smith. 485 00:19:01,319 --> 00:19:04,263 We were absolutely explicit about not bringing him in. 486 00:19:04,265 --> 00:19:05,355 He's a brilliant actor. 487 00:19:05,357 --> 00:19:06,577 - Absolutely. - Yes. 488 00:19:06,579 --> 00:19:08,661 No question, and... 489 00:19:08,663 --> 00:19:11,696 paralyzed, brilliantly paralyzed. 490 00:19:11,698 --> 00:19:14,924 Well, I'm sorry if you two have issues with hiring the disabled. 491 00:19:14,926 --> 00:19:17,329 Nothing to do with him being disabled. 492 00:19:17,331 --> 00:19:18,338 No, no, no, the whole conceit of our show 493 00:19:18,340 --> 00:19:20,141 is that everyone plays two very different parts. 494 00:19:20,143 --> 00:19:22,212 If he's in a wheelchair for both of them, 495 00:19:22,214 --> 00:19:24,742 that hardly makes him chameleon-like. 496 00:19:24,744 --> 00:19:27,369 Well, they'd obviously be different chairs. 497 00:19:28,269 --> 00:19:29,861 Look, it's five minutes 498 00:19:29,863 --> 00:19:32,140 out of your oh-so-busy lives. 499 00:19:32,142 --> 00:19:33,842 Who knows? He might surprise you. 500 00:19:33,844 --> 00:19:34,817 By tap-dancing. 501 00:19:34,819 --> 00:19:36,906 That is wildly offensive. 502 00:19:36,908 --> 00:19:38,171 You're wildly offensive. 503 00:19:38,173 --> 00:19:40,266 So, um, should I bring him in? 504 00:19:40,268 --> 00:19:41,555 - Absolutely. - Well, he's here now. 505 00:19:41,557 --> 00:19:43,259 Well, we can't not, um... 506 00:19:43,261 --> 00:19:45,059 Anthony? 507 00:19:46,371 --> 00:19:47,404 Hello, good people. 508 00:19:47,406 --> 00:19:48,884 - Hello, ah. - Welcome. 509 00:19:48,886 --> 00:19:50,397 Thank you so much for coming in. 510 00:19:50,399 --> 00:19:52,001 Ah. 511 00:19:52,003 --> 00:19:53,041 Ah! Hang on. 512 00:19:53,043 --> 00:19:54,361 Bit of a snag. 513 00:19:57,136 --> 00:19:59,042 I was going to say, I... 514 00:19:59,640 --> 00:20:01,309 Almost. 515 00:20:01,958 --> 00:20:03,457 It's all about the trajectory. 516 00:20:03,546 --> 00:20:04,549 Can we help? 517 00:20:04,574 --> 00:20:05,830 No, no, I've got it. 518 00:20:05,855 --> 00:20:06,921 Um, it's... 519 00:20:06,946 --> 00:20:08,378 Just, uh... 520 00:20:10,968 --> 00:20:11,900 Happens all the time. 521 00:20:12,923 --> 00:20:14,359 You sure? We... 522 00:20:14,361 --> 00:20:16,357 Oh, no, no, I can totally do it. 523 00:20:18,169 --> 00:20:21,062 Ah. There we go... No, hang on. 524 00:20:21,064 --> 00:20:22,396 I made it a little worse here. 525 00:20:25,571 --> 00:20:26,934 Bloody fucker! 526 00:20:27,970 --> 00:20:30,604 This chair seems to expand in the heat. 527 00:20:30,606 --> 00:20:32,243 Well, it is a very narrow doorframe. 528 00:20:32,245 --> 00:20:33,422 Oh, it's ridiculously narrow. 529 00:20:33,424 --> 00:20:34,529 Runway models would get stuck there. 530 00:20:36,506 --> 00:20:37,794 Are you sure we can't help? 531 00:20:37,796 --> 00:20:39,009 - No, I've got it! - No, no rush. 532 00:20:39,011 --> 00:20:40,880 We 're-we' re going nowhere. 533 00:20:53,266 --> 00:20:54,898 That wasn't so hard, was it? 534 00:20:55,634 --> 00:20:56,791 Is your hand bleeding? 535 00:20:56,793 --> 00:20:58,391 Hmm? Oh. 536 00:20:58,393 --> 00:21:00,495 Hardly. It's fine. No worries. 537 00:21:00,497 --> 00:21:01,532 So welcome. 538 00:21:01,534 --> 00:21:03,569 - So thrilled you could come in. - Wow, what a treat. 539 00:21:03,571 --> 00:21:05,470 - Huge fans. - Especially me. 540 00:21:05,472 --> 00:21:06,979 Oh, you're very kind. 541 00:21:06,981 --> 00:21:08,974 Say, uh, it's a wonderful script. 542 00:21:08,976 --> 00:21:10,811 Oh, thank you. 543 00:21:10,813 --> 00:21:12,166 It's very, very funny. 544 00:21:12,168 --> 00:21:14,045 Both, uh... both roles so... 545 00:21:14,047 --> 00:21:15,837 So tasty. 546 00:21:15,839 --> 00:21:17,425 Uh, by the way, 547 00:21:17,427 --> 00:21:19,962 if there is any concern 548 00:21:19,964 --> 00:21:21,474 about the chair... 549 00:21:21,476 --> 00:21:23,489 - What? The chair? No. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 550 00:21:23,491 --> 00:21:25,695 I can assure you that I will be out of it 551 00:21:25,697 --> 00:21:27,791 by the time we're ready to shoot. 552 00:21:28,229 --> 00:21:30,393 Uh, that's wonderful, but, um, 553 00:21:31,107 --> 00:21:34,235 that is in only three weeks. 554 00:21:36,733 --> 00:21:37,698 Oh. 555 00:21:38,739 --> 00:21:39,949 Uh-huh. 556 00:21:40,709 --> 00:21:42,005 That 's-that' s a little 557 00:21:42,007 --> 00:21:43,768 sooner than I was told. 558 00:21:43,770 --> 00:21:45,725 But I'm sure I'll be fine by then. 559 00:21:47,596 --> 00:21:49,537 Right, well, uh. 560 00:21:49,562 --> 00:21:51,464 Shall we... Shall we read a little? 561 00:21:51,466 --> 00:21:52,564 - Yes. - Please. 562 00:21:52,566 --> 00:21:54,617 Maybe we can start with Reg, 563 00:21:54,619 --> 00:21:56,158 the scene with his daughter? 564 00:21:56,160 --> 00:21:57,386 - Reg it is. - Great choice. 565 00:21:57,388 --> 00:21:58,986 I'll be reading with you. Ready? 566 00:21:58,988 --> 00:21:59,885 Let's do it. 567 00:22:01,125 --> 00:22:03,245 'Dad, get down from there.' 568 00:22:23,668 --> 00:22:24,831 What? 569 00:22:24,833 --> 00:22:27,347 Just wanted to say good-bye. 570 00:22:27,349 --> 00:22:29,681 And then I wanted to watch you leave. 571 00:22:30,929 --> 00:22:32,082 Dick. 572 00:22:32,084 --> 00:22:35,326 Aw, I'm gonna miss these little talks. 573 00:22:35,328 --> 00:22:37,523 Shame this didn't work out. 574 00:22:37,525 --> 00:22:39,992 But hey, we had a good run. 575 00:22:42,093 --> 00:22:44,616 You remember when all you wanted was a window? 576 00:22:45,016 --> 00:22:46,547 I don't need a window. 577 00:22:46,549 --> 00:22:48,042 I could throw you through a wall. 578 00:22:48,044 --> 00:22:50,402 Whoa, please, do it. 579 00:22:51,019 --> 00:22:53,304 That's just what your career needs. 580 00:22:53,306 --> 00:22:56,255 One more nail. 581 00:22:56,257 --> 00:22:57,606 Oh, oh-oh-oh. 582 00:22:57,608 --> 00:22:59,361 In case you were wondering, 583 00:23:00,113 --> 00:23:03,231 there's a camera on every one of those boxes. 584 00:23:04,026 --> 00:23:07,661 Who do you think decided to stay on you? 585 00:23:12,608 --> 00:23:14,291 You don't have the ball 586 00:23:14,293 --> 00:23:15,893 to do that. 587 00:23:15,895 --> 00:23:17,004 No? 588 00:23:19,565 --> 00:23:21,670 Well, then you killed your own fucking show. 589 00:23:21,901 --> 00:23:24,301 Well, I think we're gonna be all right. 590 00:23:24,303 --> 00:23:26,303 I just got word we're very close 591 00:23:26,305 --> 00:23:28,370 to signing Mr. Howie Mandel. 592 00:23:28,372 --> 00:23:29,992 Yeah? Great. 593 00:23:29,994 --> 00:23:31,145 That's right. 594 00:23:31,147 --> 00:23:33,409 It's time to pass the old baton. 595 00:23:33,411 --> 00:23:35,381 He probably won't touch it, 596 00:23:35,383 --> 00:23:37,423 but who can blame him? 597 00:23:41,198 --> 00:23:42,731 Oh, by the way, 598 00:23:42,756 --> 00:23:44,548 let me know if you need any more boxes. 599 00:23:48,892 --> 00:23:50,926 And then watching him try to get out the door at the end. 600 00:23:50,928 --> 00:23:53,456 Longest 45 minutes of my life. 601 00:23:53,458 --> 00:23:55,635 Like watching Stephen Hawking thread a needle. 602 00:23:57,234 --> 00:23:58,900 Oh, look. 603 00:23:58,902 --> 00:24:00,567 Well, I'm out of here. 604 00:24:00,569 --> 00:24:01,762 We've been trying to call you all day. 605 00:24:01,764 --> 00:24:03,519 Yeah, I had to turn my phone off. 606 00:24:03,521 --> 00:24:05,639 Oh, my God, it's everywhere. 607 00:24:05,641 --> 00:24:06,792 You think? 608 00:24:06,794 --> 00:24:09,143 In the room, we've been calling it 'Mattstergate.' 609 00:24:11,814 --> 00:24:13,463 - Just... - It's just a... 610 00:24:13,465 --> 00:24:15,020 - Once or twice. - A bit of wordplay. 611 00:24:15,022 --> 00:24:16,191 Well, they fired me. 612 00:24:16,193 --> 00:24:17,500 - What? No. - Oh, my God. 613 00:24:17,502 --> 00:24:19,286 Get in. I don't want anyone to see me. 614 00:24:19,288 --> 00:24:21,121 Might want to put up your top, then. 615 00:24:21,123 --> 00:24:22,889 It's nice out. 616 00:24:22,891 --> 00:24:24,588 Just get in. 617 00:24:25,227 --> 00:24:26,564 Uh, where are we going? 618 00:24:26,566 --> 00:24:27,750 Anywhere but here. 619 00:24:27,752 --> 00:24:29,938 I 'm afraid we' re due back in the room. 620 00:24:29,940 --> 00:24:31,662 And our car's here. 621 00:24:32,267 --> 00:24:34,033 I just got fired and my dick's online. 622 00:24:34,035 --> 00:24:35,694 Yeah, right, you win. 623 00:24:41,565 --> 00:24:43,180 You realize, when I die, 624 00:24:43,205 --> 00:24:45,144 this is what they're gonna remember me for? 625 00:24:45,146 --> 00:24:47,106 After everything else, 626 00:24:47,108 --> 00:24:49,573 it'll be this one stupid thing. 627 00:24:49,575 --> 00:24:50,841 I know. 628 00:24:50,843 --> 00:24:52,087 It doesn't seem fair to all 629 00:24:52,089 --> 00:24:53,591 the other stupid things you've done. 630 00:24:53,593 --> 00:24:55,037 I'm serious. 631 00:24:55,039 --> 00:24:57,144 This is gonna follow me for the rest of my life. 632 00:24:57,146 --> 00:24:58,956 You don't know. Give it time. 633 00:24:58,958 --> 00:25:00,158 People forget. 634 00:25:00,160 --> 00:25:02,994 They're still talking about Janet Jackson's nipple. 635 00:25:02,996 --> 00:25:05,462 And that didn't squirt anything at anybody. 636 00:25:06,823 --> 00:25:08,713 You have ruined so many meals for me. 637 00:25:08,747 --> 00:25:10,264 It's such bullshit. 638 00:25:10,266 --> 00:25:12,430 There are people who've committed real crimes 639 00:25:12,432 --> 00:25:13,845 and aren't in jail. 640 00:25:13,847 --> 00:25:15,872 Uh, you realize you're not in jail either? 641 00:25:15,874 --> 00:25:17,708 Well, I can't go home. 642 00:25:17,733 --> 00:25:20,270 Because you have paparazzi in front of your house. 643 00:25:20,297 --> 00:25:22,045 Houses. 644 00:25:22,047 --> 00:25:23,797 Houses. 645 00:25:25,250 --> 00:25:27,482 Ugh, it's on. 646 00:25:27,484 --> 00:25:29,685 You-you don't have to watch it. 647 00:25:29,687 --> 00:25:31,020 Well, it's the last one I'm on. 648 00:25:31,022 --> 00:25:32,318 I should see it. 649 00:25:32,320 --> 00:25:36,427 Good evening, I'm Merc Lapidus, executive producer of The Box. 650 00:25:36,452 --> 00:25:38,405 Fuck me. 651 00:25:38,407 --> 00:25:40,353 The episode you're about to see 652 00:25:40,355 --> 00:25:43,521 was filmed last night before the unfortunate incident 653 00:25:43,523 --> 00:25:45,434 I 'm sure you' re all aware of. 654 00:25:45,436 --> 00:25:47,347 Scumbag. 655 00:25:47,349 --> 00:25:49,904 We considered postponing tonight's broadcast, 656 00:25:49,906 --> 00:25:51,973 but we felt it wouldn't be fair to the contestants 657 00:25:51,975 --> 00:25:53,511 or the millions of fans of the game. 658 00:25:53,513 --> 00:25:54,941 Be balder! 659 00:25:54,966 --> 00:25:57,445 We apologize to anyone who may have been offended 660 00:25:57,447 --> 00:25:59,107 by the images you saw today. 661 00:25:59,109 --> 00:26:02,262 They don't reflect the spirit of good, clean fun 662 00:26:02,264 --> 00:26:03,788 that this game represents. 663 00:26:03,790 --> 00:26:05,853 'Good, clean.' They shit in those boxes. 664 00:26:05,855 --> 00:26:08,536 I hope you continue to join us as we move forward 665 00:26:08,538 --> 00:26:10,557 from this regrettable event. 666 00:26:11,136 --> 00:26:13,819 And now, without further ado, 667 00:26:14,521 --> 00:26:16,976 enjoy The Box. 668 00:26:17,001 --> 00:26:19,513 Seven people... 669 00:26:19,553 --> 00:26:23,017 Elliot Salad on one. 670 00:26:24,973 --> 00:26:26,799 Holy shit. 671 00:26:26,801 --> 00:26:28,474 Are you looking at these overnights? 672 00:26:28,476 --> 00:26:31,356 Seriously, holy shit! 673 00:26:31,358 --> 00:26:33,895 We haven't seen numbers like this since 9/11. 674 00:26:33,897 --> 00:26:36,014 So now what? 675 00:26:36,016 --> 00:26:37,551 Oh, there's no question. 676 00:26:37,553 --> 00:26:39,851 - He's back in? - He was never out. 677 00:26:46,670 --> 00:26:48,303 Phone! 678 00:26:54,684 --> 00:26:55,805 Mm? 679 00:26:55,830 --> 00:26:57,134 You sitting down? 680 00:26:57,136 --> 00:26:58,234 Sort of. 681 00:26:58,236 --> 00:27:02,013 Numbers through the roof! 682 00:27:02,015 --> 00:27:03,388 No shit? 683 00:27:03,390 --> 00:27:05,154 All is forgiven. You're back. 684 00:27:05,156 --> 00:27:06,849 In fact, they're adding another night! 685 00:27:07,672 --> 00:27:08,671 Seriously? 686 00:27:08,673 --> 00:27:09,666 Yup! 687 00:27:09,668 --> 00:27:10,892 Get your ass down there. 688 00:27:10,894 --> 00:27:12,081 You got a show to shoot. 689 00:27:12,083 --> 00:27:13,682 Mm. 690 00:27:14,491 --> 00:27:15,658 We'll see. 691 00:27:15,660 --> 00:27:17,528 He has demands? 692 00:27:17,530 --> 00:27:18,677 What can I say? 693 00:27:18,679 --> 00:27:22,247 He appreciates the added value he now brings to the show. 694 00:27:22,249 --> 00:27:24,871 He masturbated in front of America. 695 00:27:24,873 --> 00:27:26,361 And America said, 696 00:27:26,702 --> 00:27:27,968 'Thank you.' 697 00:27:27,970 --> 00:27:29,021 What does he want? 698 00:27:29,023 --> 00:27:30,367 He wants what? 699 00:27:30,369 --> 00:27:33,057 A guaranteed series with 13 on the air. 700 00:27:33,059 --> 00:27:34,536 Jesus Christ. 701 00:27:34,538 --> 00:27:36,671 He wants to act. 702 00:27:36,673 --> 00:27:38,700 Oh, and he wants one other thing. 703 00:27:43,807 --> 00:27:45,212 You wanted to see me? 704 00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:47,019 Yup. 705 00:27:52,821 --> 00:27:55,040 That's it. Just wanted to see you. 706 00:27:55,042 --> 00:27:56,366 You know, 707 00:27:57,534 --> 00:27:59,426 in the light. 708 00:28:02,140 --> 00:28:05,716 As we open up The Box... 709 00:28:22,547 --> 00:28:24,083 Anybody got any Windex? 710 00:28:29,756 --> 00:28:33,992 Hey, Matt! 711 00:28:38,176 --> 00:28:45,408 Synced & corrected by -robtor- www.addic7ed.com 712 00:28:52,913 --> 00:28:53,980 >> You're in a unique position. 713 00:28:54,114 --> 00:28:56,644 Do a show that will make people go, I didn't know he 714 00:28:56,712 --> 00:28:58,705 could do that. >> You guys got to do it. 715 00:28:58,772 --> 00:29:01,389 >> We're a little busy helping to destroy our current show. 716 00:29:01,457 --> 00:29:03,763 Hello! >> Hey! 717 00:29:03,831 --> 00:29:06,191 >> So sorry. >> Have you considered suing 718 00:29:06,259 --> 00:29:07,860 Helen? >> Seems like 719 00:29:07,927 --> 00:29:10,662 so much work. >> Yes, it would cut into your 720 00:29:10,729 --> 00:29:12,665 busy day. >> I made a mistake and I feel 721 00:29:12,733 --> 00:29:16,872 bad you had to see that naked lady and daddy's. 722 00:29:16,940 --> 00:29:18,178 So, we good? 47780

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