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1
00:00:01,043 --> 00:00:03,086
I came here, I think,
to make an arrest.
2
00:00:03,212 --> 00:00:04,588
I'll kill him!
3
00:00:04,713 --> 00:00:06,089
You didn't even have a motive.
4
00:00:06,215 --> 00:00:08,133
I stand to inherit
half of his estate.
5
00:00:08,258 --> 00:00:10,886
There's something about your
uncle's death that's very disturbing.
6
00:00:10,969 --> 00:00:12,596
What am I, some kind of suspect?
7
00:00:12,721 --> 00:00:13,972
Well, you coulcTve had him killed.
8
00:00:14,097 --> 00:00:15,599
Does that put me on your list?
9
00:00:15,682 --> 00:00:17,059
Do you think that
your brother is guilty?
10
00:00:17,142 --> 00:00:19,228
Norman could have shoved Lisa
right off the balcony.
11
00:00:19,311 --> 00:00:21,021
We were supposed to come down
two years ago,
12
00:00:21,104 --> 00:00:22,314
but my wife switched sides...
13
00:00:22,439 --> 00:00:24,942
and voted with my in-laws,
we ended up in Animal Land.
14
00:00:27,569 --> 00:00:28,529
You're a bum!
15
00:00:28,654 --> 00:00:31,114
Would you mind too much
coming with me to the bathroom?
16
00:01:44,313 --> 00:01:45,022
Good hit.
17
00:01:50,485 --> 00:01:51,361
Good touch.
18
00:01:51,611 --> 00:01:53,113
Ah, finally.
19
00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:55,449
Showing your years, Mike.
Showing your years.
20
00:01:55,532 --> 00:01:58,076
Not so.
You just refuse to show yours.
21
00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:14,051
Touche.
22
00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:17,471
Take care of the body, Mike,
and the body takes care of you.
23
00:02:17,679 --> 00:02:19,848
Oh, yes.
I know, I know, I know.
24
00:02:19,931 --> 00:02:22,142
Protein, Mike, protein.
25
00:02:22,726 --> 00:02:25,937
Better than those doubles
you had before lunch. En garde.
26
00:02:31,276 --> 00:02:32,944
Touche. Good hit.
27
00:02:33,070 --> 00:02:34,529
Good hit. A pleasure always.
28
00:02:34,613 --> 00:02:37,115
Ah, Mike, you're too much
for me today.
29
00:02:37,407 --> 00:02:39,034
Hi there, bridegroom. Bridegroom.
30
00:02:39,117 --> 00:02:41,161
Dexter. How are you?
31
00:02:41,411 --> 00:02:44,164
How about that old guy, huh?
Is he wild? Is he wild?
32
00:02:44,331 --> 00:02:45,415
Hello, Dexter.
33
00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:46,917
Glad you stopped by, Dexter.
34
00:02:47,042 --> 00:02:49,169
Are you kidding? I wouldn't miss
shaking hands with an old goat...
35
00:02:49,252 --> 00:02:52,005
like you who's good enough to snare
a beautiful chick like...
36
00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:52,964
What's her name?
37
00:02:54,591 --> 00:02:55,842
Hey, where's the honeymoon
gonna be?
38
00:02:55,926 --> 00:02:57,677
Dexter, your uncle
is getting married tomorrow.
39
00:02:58,512 --> 00:03:00,764
It's not the same as
going out for a night on the town.
40
00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:03,642
Oh, relax, Michael.
Don't argue semantics.
41
00:03:03,767 --> 00:03:05,977
My nephew stopped by
to wish me well.
42
00:03:06,103 --> 00:03:09,314
I rather hoped you might bring
your brother Norman with you.
43
00:03:10,273 --> 00:03:12,275
Well... if Norman were to come...
44
00:03:12,401 --> 00:03:15,612
which I hope he does, by the way
it certainly would not be with me.
45
00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:19,366
Still? You're two grown men,
Dexter, for heaven's sake.
46
00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:21,159
Mr. Hatheway,
you're a very nice man...
47
00:03:21,284 --> 00:03:23,161
and you happen to be
an excellent attorney.
48
00:03:23,286 --> 00:03:26,540
But the day you can make a merger
between me and my beanbag brother,
49
00:03:26,623 --> 00:03:29,167
that is the day they'll appoint you
to the Supreme Court.
50
00:03:29,292 --> 00:03:32,045
Uncle, good luck to you,
you old roue.
51
00:03:32,129 --> 00:03:32,838
Thank you, Dexter.
52
00:03:32,963 --> 00:03:34,464
When you come back from
your honeymoon, I want a nice,
53
00:03:34,589 --> 00:03:35,757
home-cooked blowout.
54
00:03:35,841 --> 00:03:37,592
Don't let Mrs. Peck
hear you say that.
55
00:03:37,676 --> 00:03:38,802
Hey, wow, I got stuff in the oven.
56
00:03:38,927 --> 00:03:41,388
I'm baking some stuff for her to
take over to her sister's house.
57
00:03:41,471 --> 00:03:42,639
Don't let him wear you out,
Mr. Hatheway.
58
00:03:42,764 --> 00:03:44,641
He already has, Dexter. Already has.
59
00:03:44,766 --> 00:03:46,059
Take care, Uncle.
60
00:03:46,143 --> 00:03:49,146
Glad you stopped by, boy.
Take care.
61
00:03:50,105 --> 00:03:52,816
Well, Michael, let's get at it.
62
00:03:52,941 --> 00:03:56,486
I know what I'd like to get at.
A nice, cold martini.
63
00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:59,322
Yes, I know, Michael. En garde!
64
00:04:03,660 --> 00:04:06,496
Ah, look at them. Look at them.
65
00:04:06,705 --> 00:04:10,250
Beautiful. Les Tartes Strawberry
a la Dexter Paris.
66
00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:13,211
Exactly as prepared on
my little Thursday cooking show...
67
00:04:13,336 --> 00:04:15,505
for all my hypoglycemic housewives.
68
00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:17,841
You know what your uncle would say
if he could see that display.
69
00:04:17,966 --> 00:04:22,012
He'd give you a big nutritional zero
and throw them in the garbage can,
70
00:04:22,137 --> 00:04:24,681
right along
with that TV show of yours.
71
00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:26,349
No, he wouldn't.
You know why, you gorgeous thing?
72
00:04:26,475 --> 00:04:27,350
Because in about an hour,
73
00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:28,935
you're going to sneak down
to your car and...
74
00:04:29,019 --> 00:04:30,771
take them to your sister's house,
75
00:04:30,854 --> 00:04:34,107
and you and she will pull down
the shades, lock the doors...
76
00:04:34,191 --> 00:04:36,526
and devour each and every one
of those little things, right?
77
00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:39,946
- Well, Betsy has a sweet tooth.
- Oh, Betsy does, huh?
78
00:04:40,030 --> 00:04:41,656
Look at this mess.
Will you get out of here,
79
00:04:41,740 --> 00:04:44,201
and I'll clean this up
so the cook won't quit.
80
00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:45,619
Come on. Cheer up, will ya?
81
00:04:45,702 --> 00:04:47,245
Don't you realize my uncle's
girlfriend's gonna...
82
00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:48,872
pick him up tonight,
83
00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:51,750
whisk him away to some teenage
health resort and marital bliss...
84
00:04:51,875 --> 00:04:55,504
and return and take all these dismal
kitchen chores right away from you?
85
00:04:55,587 --> 00:04:58,298
Well, I think it's disgusting.
That's what I think.
86
00:04:58,381 --> 00:05:01,676
She's young enough
to be his granddaughter. That snip.
87
00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:04,221
And if she thinks she can take
better care of that man than...
88
00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:05,388
I've been taking for 30...
89
00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:07,557
Come on, you feisty creature you.
90
00:05:07,682 --> 00:05:09,559
Don't you know no one
can do without you around here?
91
00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:11,061
Oh, you're soft-soaping me.
92
00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:12,437
I am not.
93
00:05:12,729 --> 00:05:14,648
Oh, here now.
I'll thank you to dribble those...
94
00:05:14,731 --> 00:05:16,399
crumbs on somebody else's floor.
95
00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:19,778
I love you. I love you.
I love you. I love you.
96
00:05:19,903 --> 00:05:22,864
You old phony grumpy.
Have a nice vacation, eh?
97
00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:24,866
Mmm. Great.
98
00:05:24,950 --> 00:05:26,034
Go.
99
00:05:49,808 --> 00:05:52,102
I'll call you as soon as
we get back, Michael.
100
00:05:52,227 --> 00:05:54,771
All right, and I wanna go over
those oil lease agreements.
101
00:05:54,855 --> 00:05:55,939
Oh, good.
102
00:05:56,064 --> 00:05:58,900
Well, my very best to your bride,
Clifford.
103
00:05:58,984 --> 00:05:59,734
Thank you, Michael.
104
00:05:59,818 --> 00:06:02,612
I guess now we'll really find out
what kind of shape you're in.
105
00:06:03,655 --> 00:06:04,656
Good-bye, Mrs. Peck.
106
00:06:04,781 --> 00:06:06,658
Good-bye, Mr. Hatheway.
107
00:06:08,118 --> 00:06:10,787
I thought you were going to
your sister's, Mrs. Peck.
108
00:06:10,912 --> 00:06:13,665
Well, I... I thought I should stay
around in case you needed something.
109
00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:16,585
After all, I'm the only one
who knows where everything is.
110
00:06:16,668 --> 00:06:18,795
Although, I suppose your young
bride-to-be won't need me.
111
00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:21,631
Now, Mrs. Peck, you have been
the mistress of this house...
112
00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:23,300
and you always shall be.
113
00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:27,971
Lisa wouldn't have it any other way.
So you lock up and go on.
114
00:07:13,558 --> 00:07:18,647
She claims it's just a head cold.
I hope to heaven that's all it is.
115
00:07:19,522 --> 00:07:24,402
What if it's not? Dr. Werbel,
supposing it's something I...
116
00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:27,238
Supposing it's something serious.
117
00:07:28,156 --> 00:07:29,866
Supposing it is.
118
00:07:30,659 --> 00:07:33,161
You're not just a fullback anymore,
119
00:07:33,244 --> 00:07:36,331
playing for glory
on some football field.
120
00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:38,917
You're also a doctor now, Rocky,
121
00:07:39,376 --> 00:07:42,545
and if you're not cold and hard
and tough enough...
122
00:07:42,671 --> 00:07:46,883
to justify the faith and confidence
of your patients,
123
00:07:47,884 --> 00:07:50,679
you can hand me your stethoscope,
Rocky,
124
00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:52,639
right now.
125
00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:40,603
Hello again, Uncle.
126
00:08:41,229 --> 00:08:43,982
Well, Dexter, what a surprise.
127
00:08:44,149 --> 00:08:46,192
Not as surprised as I was...
128
00:08:46,401 --> 00:08:48,486
when I realized
I'd forgotten your wedding present.
129
00:08:56,953 --> 00:09:01,041
Here it is,
just an ordinary electric mixer.
130
00:09:01,458 --> 00:09:04,210
Well, my... my goodness.
131
00:09:05,503 --> 00:09:07,922
A plain, everyday...
132
00:09:08,506 --> 00:09:10,341
kitchen utensil.
133
00:09:13,636 --> 00:09:18,516
Blend, mix, whip.
134
00:09:19,017 --> 00:09:21,394
But it's more than that.
Much more than that, Uncle.
135
00:09:21,853 --> 00:09:26,858
Well, I... I'm not very fond of
appliances, but thank you.
136
00:09:27,984 --> 00:09:29,110
You're welcome.
137
00:09:29,194 --> 00:09:31,654
Uncle, you're gonna get
a real charge out of this.
138
00:09:36,159 --> 00:09:37,410
Well, what?
139
00:09:45,168 --> 00:09:47,921
Oh, please. Don't go off.
140
00:09:52,008 --> 00:09:53,802
Well, what in heaven's name?
141
00:09:53,885 --> 00:09:56,846
Sinofron is dangerous.
I won't agree.
142
00:09:57,472 --> 00:10:00,683
Dr. Werbel, you 've had 30 years
as a general practitioner.
143
00:10:00,809 --> 00:10:02,811
I'm new. I'm green.
144
00:10:02,894 --> 00:10:04,020
You're purple.
145
00:10:04,145 --> 00:10:06,481
Tell me, what can I do?
146
00:10:07,565 --> 00:10:10,568
What can any of us ever do,
Roger?
147
00:10:11,361 --> 00:10:13,488
Oh, we can, I suppose,
148
00:10:13,571 --> 00:10:18,159
be grateful for little Maryanne's
coming to us with a head cold.
149
00:10:19,118 --> 00:10:20,787
If she hadn't,
we might never have known...
150
00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:24,666
she was a terminal case
until it was all over.
151
00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:06,207
Please wait.
I'll just be a minute or two.
152
00:11:07,625 --> 00:11:08,668
Oh.
153
00:11:17,093 --> 00:11:20,096
Mrs. Peck, how nice to see you.
Is Mr. Paris ready?
154
00:11:20,221 --> 00:11:21,598
I'll tell him you're here.
155
00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:22,682
Good.
156
00:11:22,974 --> 00:11:24,434
Oh, never mind.
Til just scoot on up.
157
00:11:24,976 --> 00:11:27,770
Please. I do think you'd better
let me fetch him.
158
00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:29,939
He may not be quite dressed.
159
00:11:30,064 --> 00:11:33,568
Why, Mrs. Peck, you're talking like
we were a couple of children.
160
00:11:35,904 --> 00:11:39,032
Clifford. Clifford.
161
00:11:41,451 --> 00:11:43,202
I got a taxi waiting.
162
00:11:44,829 --> 00:11:45,955
Clifford.
163
00:11:50,084 --> 00:11:51,794
Are you decent?
164
00:11:53,087 --> 00:11:55,131
Well, ready or not...
165
00:12:03,306 --> 00:12:04,349
Oh.
166
00:12:10,271 --> 00:12:14,108
He's not upstairs at all.
I even checked his bathroom.
167
00:12:14,984 --> 00:12:17,237
Could be in
the new gym, I suppose.
168
00:12:17,904 --> 00:12:19,781
I bet it's that electric bicycle
I got for him.
169
00:12:19,864 --> 00:12:22,158
Oh, isn't he absolutely adorable.
170
00:12:28,831 --> 00:12:32,210
I'll bet he's down there
right now just rowing away.
171
00:12:34,337 --> 00:12:37,548
Oh, there you are, you silly.
Now, why aren't you...
172
00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:42,845
Clifford. Clifford, would...
173
00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:47,892
Clifford.
174
00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:51,020
Clifford!
175
00:13:15,545 --> 00:13:17,505
Hey, Lieutenant. How are you?
176
00:13:18,172 --> 00:13:19,340
Well...
177
00:13:22,719 --> 00:13:24,178
Believe me,
I know just how you feel.
178
00:13:24,262 --> 00:13:26,806
Dobrinsky, I don't even
know how I feel.
179
00:13:30,977 --> 00:13:34,397
Give me a handkerchief. Lieutenant,
you... you got a handkerchief?
180
00:13:35,023 --> 00:13:36,733
Open the door, Dobrinsky, will ya?
181
00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:40,611
You got one?
182
00:14:05,803 --> 00:14:06,971
Who is she?
183
00:14:07,305 --> 00:14:10,725
Victim's, uh, fiancee.
Supposed to be their wedding night.
184
00:14:10,808 --> 00:14:12,977
Oh. Isn't that awful.
185
00:14:13,102 --> 00:14:14,228
Yeah.
186
00:14:14,604 --> 00:14:15,688
What'd he die of?
187
00:14:15,772 --> 00:14:16,773
Coronary.
188
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:18,316
What are we doing here?
189
00:14:18,441 --> 00:14:19,817
Well, she called us hysterical.
190
00:14:19,942 --> 00:14:22,403
Said something about everybody's
after the old fellow's money,
191
00:14:22,487 --> 00:14:25,907
and that, uh, he was too healthy
to die like that, so...
192
00:14:25,990 --> 00:14:28,242
Mmm. What'd you say?
Old fellow?
193
00:14:28,326 --> 00:14:29,118
Yeah.
194
00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:31,788
Boy, old fellow
has a lovely fiancee.
195
00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:34,499
Oh, yes. Old fellow have
nice, young fiancee.
196
00:14:34,624 --> 00:14:36,250
Old fellow
drop dead of a heart attack.
197
00:14:36,334 --> 00:14:37,794
You have my handkerchief?
198
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:39,087
No, she's got it.
199
00:14:40,338 --> 00:14:43,549
Well, anyway. Come on. We have to
go through the motions, huh?
200
00:14:45,093 --> 00:14:46,344
What'd she do? She kept it?
201
00:14:46,469 --> 00:14:47,637
I don't know.
202
00:14:53,559 --> 00:14:55,603
- His chest was about here.
- Mm-hmm.
203
00:14:55,686 --> 00:14:57,605
- Left leg rotating.
- Mm-hmm.
204
00:14:57,688 --> 00:14:59,440
- Both arms hanging down.
- Mm-hmm.
205
00:14:59,524 --> 00:15:01,484
- That's about it.
- Mm-hmm.
206
00:15:02,652 --> 00:15:07,573
Then, um, when Mr. Hatheway...
207
00:15:08,116 --> 00:15:11,953
came up from the gym with him,
he went upstairs.
208
00:15:12,036 --> 00:15:16,165
I... I thought
he was going to change...
209
00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:20,795
to get ready for...
210
00:15:21,003 --> 00:15:25,174
Do you have any idea at all
what time that that would be?
211
00:15:28,010 --> 00:15:32,640
You... You must belong
in some pigsty.
212
00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:37,186
Do you do that in your own home?
Do you?
213
00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:39,355
I'm sorry, ma'am.
Forgive me. I'm awfully sorry.
214
00:15:39,438 --> 00:15:40,731
I didn't realize that
I was doing that.
215
00:15:40,857 --> 00:15:42,024
This is Mrs. Peck.
216
00:15:42,150 --> 00:15:45,903
Dropping ashes
from a stinking cigar.
217
00:15:46,028 --> 00:15:47,780
Let me see if I can clean that up
for you.
218
00:15:47,864 --> 00:15:49,198
Stop that!
219
00:15:49,407 --> 00:15:50,408
You're rubbing it in!
220
00:15:50,533 --> 00:15:51,993
Oh, forgive me, ma'am.
I didn't realize.
221
00:15:52,076 --> 00:15:53,244
You know, sometimes it's a habit.
222
00:15:53,369 --> 00:15:54,912
- Let me see if I can clean that up.
- This house...
223
00:15:55,037 --> 00:15:58,249
What I'll do is I'll get this spray
and I'll...
224
00:16:01,544 --> 00:16:04,881
You broke Mr. Paris's pitcher.
225
00:16:08,551 --> 00:16:11,012
Get him out of here!
Get him out!
226
00:16:11,095 --> 00:16:13,347
Come over here for a minute.
Will you please?
227
00:16:13,431 --> 00:16:14,724
Get him out!
228
00:18:18,389 --> 00:18:21,475
And I just took off. I waved good-bye
to Mrs. Peck and drove away.
229
00:18:21,559 --> 00:18:23,060
I mean, he was as healthy
as a horse when I saw him.
230
00:18:23,185 --> 00:18:24,645
He was in the gym.
He was fencing. It's...
231
00:18:24,729 --> 00:18:26,856
It's inconceivable.
I can't believe it.
232
00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:27,940
Hello.
233
00:18:28,399 --> 00:18:30,234
Well, thank you very much,
Mr. Paris.
234
00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:31,027
Thank you.
235
00:18:31,152 --> 00:18:32,320
Mrs. Peck.
236
00:18:33,195 --> 00:18:34,572
May I come in?
237
00:18:45,875 --> 00:18:47,627
I'm Lieutenant Columbo.
Who might you be?
238
00:18:47,710 --> 00:18:50,129
How do you do? Dexter Paris.
Mr. Paris's nephew.
239
00:18:50,212 --> 00:18:53,424
I hope it's okay I'm here.
Mrs. Peck phoned me and I came over.
240
00:18:53,549 --> 00:18:56,594
Oh, listen, I'm glad you came.
I mean, uh,
241
00:18:56,969 --> 00:18:59,930
well, things like this, they can be
awfully rough on everybody.
242
00:19:01,349 --> 00:19:04,018
Officer, I'm afraid
I have to apologize for my conduct.
243
00:19:04,101 --> 00:19:06,646
I was very overbearing.
244
00:19:06,729 --> 00:19:09,231
Ma'am, please, accept my apologies.
245
00:19:09,315 --> 00:19:12,109
What happened was this.
I came here with a cigar,
246
00:19:12,234 --> 00:19:14,695
and I didn't realize it, and, uh...
247
00:19:26,874 --> 00:19:28,626
Anyway, I, uh...
248
00:19:29,627 --> 00:19:32,755
I dropped some ashes on the floor
down in the gym, and, uh,
249
00:19:32,963 --> 00:19:34,423
it was very clean down there,
very clean.
250
00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:36,926
In fact, the whole house is
spotless. Upstairs and down...
251
00:19:37,051 --> 00:19:38,594
You said upstairs.
252
00:19:38,719 --> 00:19:41,847
Uh, I... Well, now, ma'am,
253
00:19:41,931 --> 00:19:44,517
I am the police officer
and I deemed it reasonable...
254
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:47,353
That's one of Mr. Paris's towels
that you have.
255
00:19:47,728 --> 00:19:50,189
Yes. Yes, it is.
256
00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:52,358
I'm gonna be flat out with you,
ma'am.
257
00:19:52,441 --> 00:19:53,609
I was upstairs looking around.
258
00:19:53,734 --> 00:19:56,112
I wanted to throw some water
on my face...
259
00:19:56,237 --> 00:19:58,781
you know, just sort of clear
my head, you know? And, uh...
260
00:20:01,992 --> 00:20:05,955
I used Mr. Paris's bathroom
for a minute. I was very careful.
261
00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:08,207
That's very brave of you
to admit, Lieutenant.
262
00:20:08,290 --> 00:20:09,458
What were you planning to do,
263
00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:10,960
dry your face
on the way down the stairs?
264
00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:12,002
Was that your plan?
265
00:20:12,128 --> 00:20:14,797
No, no. I used that very nice
hand towel up there.
266
00:20:14,922 --> 00:20:16,340
I hope you don't mind.
267
00:20:16,465 --> 00:20:20,636
But this towel was in the hamper
and damp. See? Feel.
268
00:20:20,761 --> 00:20:22,012
Oh, I believe you.
269
00:20:22,346 --> 00:20:23,639
Uh, Mrs. Peck.
270
00:20:23,764 --> 00:20:28,227
I would like to tell you something.
This house is always immaculate.
271
00:20:28,394 --> 00:20:30,354
At 4:00 p.m. today,
272
00:20:30,479 --> 00:20:33,983
every towel in Mr. Paris's bathroom
was clean and dry and in its place.
273
00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:39,029
I checked personally. I do not allow
damp towels to remain in the hamper.
274
00:20:39,155 --> 00:20:42,741
And that I believe, ma'am.
I certainly do believe that. But, urn,
275
00:20:43,993 --> 00:20:45,119
this towel was in the hamper.
276
00:20:45,202 --> 00:20:48,289
I swear. And damp. Very damp.
277
00:20:48,372 --> 00:20:49,248
And I was just wondering...
278
00:20:49,331 --> 00:20:51,500
Wait a minute. What difference
does it make if it was in the hamper?
279
00:20:51,625 --> 00:20:53,627
- I don't understand...
- Excuse me. Uh,
280
00:20:53,711 --> 00:20:55,838
Lieutenant,
could I see you for a minute?
281
00:21:02,344 --> 00:21:04,054
What did you want, Murray?
282
00:21:04,847 --> 00:21:06,682
Well, now, what do I...
what do I tell the coroner?
283
00:21:06,765 --> 00:21:09,143
I think you better tell him
an autopsy.
284
00:21:10,352 --> 00:21:12,354
- An autopsy?
- Shh. Please.
285
00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:14,857
I don't wanna upset her
any more than she is. Please.
286
00:21:14,940 --> 00:21:16,525
She's a very emotional person.
287
00:21:16,609 --> 00:21:17,860
What do you mean autopsy?
288
00:21:17,985 --> 00:21:19,945
Now, did my uncle die on
his exercising machine...
289
00:21:20,029 --> 00:21:21,280
of a heart attack or didn't he?
290
00:21:21,405 --> 00:21:22,364
I mean,
what's this autopsy business?
291
00:21:22,490 --> 00:21:24,867
Well, that's what
Lt. Columbo has to decide right now.
292
00:21:24,950 --> 00:21:27,620
Like hell he does. I am the next of kin,
my brother and I.
293
00:21:27,703 --> 00:21:31,624
I am not signing any authorization
for an autopsy, nor will my brother.
294
00:21:31,707 --> 00:21:33,501
It's still up to the lieutenant
here, you understand?
295
00:21:33,584 --> 00:21:35,044
- Why is it up to him?
- Homicide.
296
00:21:35,169 --> 00:21:38,881
Look, now, I'm sure there's nothing there.
Nothing at all. I think autopsy, Murray.
297
00:21:39,006 --> 00:21:40,216
It is really just routine,
Mr. Paris.
298
00:21:40,341 --> 00:21:41,801
You got it.
Good night, Mr. Paris.
299
00:21:41,884 --> 00:21:44,512
Look, uh, Murray, before you go,
300
00:21:44,595 --> 00:21:46,388
I don't wanna have to trouble
Mrs. Peck anymore.
301
00:21:46,514 --> 00:21:48,808
What did she say about
the burglar alarm system?
302
00:21:48,891 --> 00:21:49,558
Oh, yeah.
303
00:21:49,683 --> 00:21:51,352
I noticed the switch
on the way down from upstairs.
304
00:21:51,435 --> 00:21:54,146
Yeah. I asked her about that.
305
00:21:54,230 --> 00:21:57,233
Burglar alarm was set for about
7:30 p.m., somewhere around there.
306
00:21:57,316 --> 00:21:59,527
That's the same routine they
followed since it was installed.
307
00:21:59,610 --> 00:22:00,653
That was, like, 14 years ago.
308
00:22:00,736 --> 00:22:03,906
Okay. Before you go, have somebody
check the burglar alarm system...
309
00:22:04,031 --> 00:22:05,574
and check out all the windows.
310
00:22:05,825 --> 00:22:07,409
Let 'em keep an eye out
for footprints.
311
00:22:07,535 --> 00:22:09,119
- Okay.
- Thank you, Murray.
312
00:22:11,622 --> 00:22:15,376
Lieutenant, just what is this about?
Why this sudden investigation?
313
00:22:15,459 --> 00:22:16,919
Look, Mr. Paris,
it would be a big help...
314
00:22:17,044 --> 00:22:18,420
if you and I could go to the gym.
315
00:22:18,504 --> 00:22:22,341
Uh, that way, you could, you know,
show me around without...
316
00:22:22,424 --> 00:22:25,177
Mrs. Peck getting upset again,
you know what I mean?
317
00:22:37,690 --> 00:22:41,110
Boy, oh, boy. Your uncle
must have been in terrific shape.
318
00:22:41,819 --> 00:22:43,237
Fifty pounds.
319
00:22:44,780 --> 00:22:45,948
Lieutenant,
would you mind telling me...
320
00:22:46,115 --> 00:22:48,784
why you think
an autopsy is necessary?
321
00:22:49,034 --> 00:22:51,287
Well, there are a couple of things
that bother me.
322
00:22:51,453 --> 00:22:53,497
I wonder why he came down here
for a workout right...
323
00:22:53,622 --> 00:22:56,292
when he was supposed to leave to
get married? Does that seem odd?
324
00:22:56,375 --> 00:22:59,962
No, the man had an insatiable
appetite for life, for exercise.
325
00:23:00,087 --> 00:23:00,963
What can I tell you?
326
00:23:01,046 --> 00:23:03,382
But he just got done fencing
with his attorney.
327
00:23:03,465 --> 00:23:06,010
I mean, a whole bunch of fencing,
then right away...
328
00:23:06,135 --> 00:23:08,512
down here without stop
for another session with all this?
329
00:23:08,637 --> 00:23:10,055
Boy, oh, boy, that is robust.
330
00:23:10,139 --> 00:23:11,682
Indeed, but
the man was a health nut.
331
00:23:11,807 --> 00:23:14,310
I mean, this very place was
a storeroom three months ago.
332
00:23:14,393 --> 00:23:17,146
He had it converted
for himself and his bride-to-be.
333
00:23:17,229 --> 00:23:20,190
Yeah, I saw her.
She's extremely healthy too.
334
00:23:20,316 --> 00:23:21,525
Oh, yes.
335
00:23:21,650 --> 00:23:23,068
That machine new?
336
00:23:23,736 --> 00:23:25,988
Reasonably so. Why?
337
00:23:26,071 --> 00:23:29,325
Just curious. Could we go up
to your uncle's bathroom?
338
00:23:29,575 --> 00:23:32,369
Lieutenant, will you mind
telling me what's bothering you?
339
00:23:33,370 --> 00:23:35,706
Mr. Paris, frankly, sir,
340
00:23:35,831 --> 00:23:38,667
there's something about your
uncle's death that's very disturbing.
341
00:23:39,501 --> 00:23:42,338
You mean, something...
something about the heart attack?
342
00:23:42,463 --> 00:23:43,505
That's what's bothering me, sir.
343
00:23:43,631 --> 00:23:46,300
I'm not completely sure
it was a heart attack at all.
344
00:23:46,383 --> 00:23:48,177
That's what the autopsy's for.
345
00:23:48,677 --> 00:23:50,220
Well, if not a heart attack, what?
346
00:23:50,512 --> 00:23:51,764
Well, I don't know.
347
00:23:51,847 --> 00:23:53,182
Why not a heart attack?
348
00:23:53,349 --> 00:23:56,435
Could we go up to your
uncle's bathroom? I'll show you.
349
00:23:58,062 --> 00:23:58,729
Yeah.
350
00:24:06,612 --> 00:24:08,656
Do you see what
I'm getting at, Mr. Paris?
351
00:24:08,739 --> 00:24:10,950
A damp towel in the hamper,
352
00:24:11,659 --> 00:24:14,745
and a damp piece of soap
in the soap dish.
353
00:24:14,953 --> 00:24:16,080
Brilliant.
354
00:24:16,413 --> 00:24:19,208
Brilliant. I mean, you've deduced
my uncle took a bath.
355
00:24:19,708 --> 00:24:23,587
Every civilized person I know takes
a bath after strenuous exercise.
356
00:24:23,712 --> 00:24:24,880
Now, don't you?
357
00:24:25,089 --> 00:24:26,256
Always.
358
00:24:27,841 --> 00:24:29,968
The doors and windows
are okay, Lieutenant.
359
00:24:30,052 --> 00:24:33,138
I mean, there's no sign
of any kind of jimmy work.
360
00:24:33,681 --> 00:24:36,392
But there was a footprint
outside Mrs. Peck's window.
361
00:24:36,558 --> 00:24:39,561
I didn't see or hear anything.
I was watching TV.
362
00:24:39,687 --> 00:24:41,480
Mrs. Peck,
are you absolutely sure...
363
00:24:41,563 --> 00:24:44,108
that you turned on
the burglar alarm system tonight?
364
00:24:44,233 --> 00:24:45,150
I mean, are you sure that...
365
00:24:45,234 --> 00:24:47,736
no one came into the house
until you let Miss Chambers in?
366
00:24:47,820 --> 00:24:50,322
Right. You are sure. That's
very good. Thank you very much.
367
00:24:50,406 --> 00:24:51,865
Now, Lieutenant, that footprint.
368
00:24:51,949 --> 00:24:56,036
Whoever it was, was not wearing shoes,
and it looks like he has flat feet.
369
00:24:56,829 --> 00:24:57,913
Okay?
370
00:25:01,250 --> 00:25:04,920
Lieutenant, I know you're trying to
drum up a homicide case feverishly,
371
00:25:05,045 --> 00:25:05,963
but certainly, you...
372
00:25:06,088 --> 00:25:08,966
you can't believe that Mrs. Peck
could do anything like that?
373
00:25:09,091 --> 00:25:11,427
No, no, no.
I was never considering Mrs. Peck.
374
00:25:11,510 --> 00:25:13,470
But she was the only one
in the house.
375
00:25:13,595 --> 00:25:15,264
Hmm, that's the way it looks.
376
00:25:16,015 --> 00:25:18,308
Unless there's something
in that footprint.
377
00:25:19,143 --> 00:25:22,855
I thought flat feet were peculiar
to your business, Lieutenant.
378
00:25:22,938 --> 00:25:24,565
You know, that's not true.
379
00:25:25,065 --> 00:25:27,067
In fact, I have never met a cop
with flat feet.
380
00:25:27,151 --> 00:25:29,611
You take my feet.
I have terrific arches.
381
00:25:29,695 --> 00:25:32,114
My doctor tells me
I have an exceptional arch.
382
00:25:32,197 --> 00:25:35,743
He says 30 years in the business,
he's never seen an arch like my arch.
383
00:25:35,826 --> 00:25:36,493
I believe you.
384
00:25:36,618 --> 00:25:40,039
No, really. Take off your shoe,
compare your arch with my arch.
385
00:25:40,122 --> 00:25:41,165
You'll see what I mean.
386
00:25:43,792 --> 00:25:46,962
Really, take off your shoe.
Compare your arch to this arch.
387
00:25:47,087 --> 00:25:48,422
You see,
now that's not a cop's arch.
388
00:25:48,505 --> 00:25:50,466
- Lieutenant.
- Let's compare arches.
389
00:25:50,549 --> 00:25:51,842
May I make it easy for you?
390
00:25:52,551 --> 00:25:53,677
Yes, sir.
391
00:25:54,011 --> 00:25:55,763
I'm sure you've surmised that
my brother and I stand to...
392
00:25:55,846 --> 00:25:58,348
inherit my uncle's estate,
which is about $3 million, right?
393
00:25:58,807 --> 00:26:00,517
Yes, sir, I gathered that.
394
00:26:00,642 --> 00:26:02,519
I also have flat feet.
395
00:26:03,479 --> 00:26:04,688
No kidding?
396
00:26:06,190 --> 00:26:07,983
You really are...You really are...
397
00:26:08,066 --> 00:26:11,153
He's really trying to make this
seem like there's foul play.
398
00:26:11,278 --> 00:26:12,654
It's incre... Incredible.
399
00:26:12,738 --> 00:26:15,365
Well, you have to admit
there's something peculiar.
400
00:26:15,741 --> 00:26:18,118
Why would somebody
do a lot of fencing,
401
00:26:18,202 --> 00:26:19,953
come in here and take a bath,
402
00:26:20,037 --> 00:26:21,330
and then right away
run down to the gym...
403
00:26:21,455 --> 00:26:23,499
and do another exercise session?
404
00:26:23,832 --> 00:26:27,252
I don't understand that.
Do you understand that?
405
00:26:38,847 --> 00:26:39,556
Norman.
406
00:26:44,937 --> 00:26:47,523
Lieutenant, this is
my loving brother, Norman.
407
00:26:50,692 --> 00:26:52,611
Mrs. Peck informs me
you're considering an autopsy?
408
00:26:53,028 --> 00:26:56,990
Norman, Lt. Columbo
is a full-fledged sleuth.
409
00:26:57,074 --> 00:27:00,035
Homicide. He suspects foul play.
410
00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:01,036
From you?
411
00:27:02,579 --> 00:27:04,832
At the risk of being officious,
Lieutenant, uh,
412
00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:08,377
I think an autopsy might be
a very-very good idea indeed.
413
00:27:09,753 --> 00:27:14,007
You know, uh, Lieutenant, we are
very identical twins, Norman and I.
414
00:27:14,550 --> 00:27:16,635
He, too, has flat feet.
415
00:27:32,234 --> 00:27:37,239
530, 540, 550,
416
00:27:37,322 --> 00:27:41,076
550... $554,000.
417
00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:44,204
554,000 cash. Would you please
sign this, Mr. Paris?
418
00:27:44,288 --> 00:27:45,747
Certainly.
419
00:27:46,748 --> 00:27:48,125
You all right, Lieutenant?
420
00:27:48,333 --> 00:27:50,252
Oh, yes, sir, I'm fine.
It's just that...
421
00:27:50,377 --> 00:27:52,421
I haven't been around
so much money in my whole life.
422
00:27:52,546 --> 00:27:53,672
You get used to it.
423
00:27:53,755 --> 00:27:54,882
You do?
424
00:27:55,757 --> 00:27:58,886
So, it wasn't ordinary heart failure
after all, hmm?
425
00:27:58,969 --> 00:28:02,306
Uh, no, sir. No, it wasn't. No,
they call it, uh,
426
00:28:02,598 --> 00:28:04,558
ventricular fibril...
427
00:28:07,227 --> 00:28:08,478
Fibrillation.
428
00:28:11,148 --> 00:28:13,567
I know that word
and I can never pronounce it.
429
00:28:13,650 --> 00:28:16,111
Anyway, severe heart seizure.
That's what it is.
430
00:28:16,195 --> 00:28:19,781
You know, a strong blow. Some
kind of shock. Things like that.
431
00:28:20,782 --> 00:28:22,868
George,
you have some paperwork to do?
432
00:28:22,951 --> 00:28:24,870
Oh, yes, sir. Excuse me.
433
00:28:28,624 --> 00:28:31,960
Some kind of shock, you say?
Psychological or physical?
434
00:28:32,085 --> 00:28:34,963
Uh, well, it could be
either one in a man his age.
435
00:28:35,047 --> 00:28:37,466
Yes, but what about tension
or garden-variety overexertion?
436
00:28:37,549 --> 00:28:39,259
I mean, in a man his age.
437
00:28:39,343 --> 00:28:42,304
Uh, well, yes, uh, yes.
438
00:28:42,387 --> 00:28:44,097
I gotta tell you,
I'd be a nervous wreck...
439
00:28:44,181 --> 00:28:45,432
if I had to work around
all this money.
440
00:28:45,515 --> 00:28:46,642
I mean, the responsibility.
441
00:28:46,725 --> 00:28:48,393
What you mean is you're measuring
my traits and...
442
00:28:48,477 --> 00:28:51,480
responses against
those of my brother. Not so?
443
00:28:51,730 --> 00:28:53,065
Why would I do that?
444
00:28:53,148 --> 00:28:54,316
Why not?
445
00:28:54,691 --> 00:28:58,820
Because you're sniffing around
for a suspect to a possible homicide.
446
00:28:59,321 --> 00:29:00,864
Again not so?
447
00:29:01,198 --> 00:29:04,576
You are a very logical man.
Boy, are you logical.
448
00:29:04,868 --> 00:29:06,453
Yes, but let me tell you
what I am not.
449
00:29:06,536 --> 00:29:07,913
I'm neither flighty
nor a dilettante,
450
00:29:07,996 --> 00:29:09,873
neither unreliable
nor a low-life sponger...
451
00:29:09,998 --> 00:29:13,168
who chases women and dreams of
inheriting other people's wealth.
452
00:29:13,418 --> 00:29:15,337
Now that, I trust,
will end any comparison...
453
00:29:15,462 --> 00:29:17,422
between my brother and myself...
454
00:29:17,506 --> 00:29:20,300
and any conjecture as to
who the logical suspect might be.
455
00:29:20,384 --> 00:29:22,219
- Good day.
- Mr. Paris.
456
00:29:22,344 --> 00:29:25,013
There's one other thing
I wanted to talk to you about.
457
00:29:25,097 --> 00:29:26,348
It's rather personal.
458
00:29:26,431 --> 00:29:30,352
Yes, I know. Because my uncle died
before his marriage,
459
00:29:30,435 --> 00:29:32,521
I stand to inherit
half of his estate.
460
00:29:32,771 --> 00:29:34,856
But, as to that being
any sort of motive,
461
00:29:34,982 --> 00:29:38,402
let me point out that
I am wealthy in my own right,
462
00:29:38,694 --> 00:29:41,905
with neither wife nor
darling kiddies to encumber me.
463
00:29:42,030 --> 00:29:45,075
And if, in fact, I were possessed
of a criminal mind,
464
00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:48,870
I would find it much,
much simpler to embezzle...
465
00:29:49,162 --> 00:29:51,081
than to kill my uncle for it,
466
00:29:51,915 --> 00:29:53,583
which is more than
I can say for my brother.
467
00:29:55,669 --> 00:29:57,504
Now, if you'll excuse me, uh,
468
00:29:58,171 --> 00:30:01,758
I have exactly 47 minutes
to catch a plane to San Francisco.
469
00:30:04,803 --> 00:30:05,929
Good day.
470
00:30:31,246 --> 00:30:33,749
Boy, that's wonderful.
How do you hold it so long?
471
00:30:33,874 --> 00:30:35,167
Don't your ears ring
or anything like that,
472
00:30:35,250 --> 00:30:37,044
all that blood rushing to your head?
473
00:30:37,127 --> 00:30:38,754
That's what it's for.
474
00:30:40,172 --> 00:30:41,548
Feeds the brain.
475
00:30:42,841 --> 00:30:45,927
I consider it essential
to feed the brain twice a day.
476
00:30:48,347 --> 00:30:49,681
I hope you don't mind waiting.
477
00:30:49,765 --> 00:30:52,267
No, not at all.
No, I enjoy watching.
478
00:30:56,063 --> 00:30:58,774
Well, why don't you come out here
and I can hear you a little better.
479
00:30:58,982 --> 00:31:00,358
Oh, fine.
480
00:31:01,109 --> 00:31:03,278
Mind if I ask you
a few questions now?
481
00:31:03,862 --> 00:31:04,821
No.
482
00:31:04,946 --> 00:31:07,491
Ma'am, I know that you gave us
a full report on...
483
00:31:07,616 --> 00:31:09,117
what happened the night of
Mr. Paris's death,
484
00:31:09,326 --> 00:31:12,287
but I did have a couple of
short little questions... very short.
485
00:31:12,412 --> 00:31:14,956
I suppose you did know
Mr. Paris's two nephews?
486
00:31:16,833 --> 00:31:20,837
Oh, Dexter I knew.
The other one I think is a banker.
487
00:31:20,962 --> 00:31:22,964
They're not exactly on speaking terms.
488
00:31:23,048 --> 00:31:25,092
I was looking forward to meeting...
489
00:31:27,386 --> 00:31:29,054
Well, after the honeymoon...
490
00:31:29,721 --> 00:31:31,807
Ma'am, I'm very sorry to have to
bring any of this up.
491
00:31:31,890 --> 00:31:34,476
I know it must be
a very painful time for you.
492
00:31:35,143 --> 00:31:37,479
No, no. Actually,
493
00:31:38,188 --> 00:31:40,232
it's a challenging time for me.
494
00:31:40,315 --> 00:31:42,609
It's a time when you want to
draw from that...
495
00:31:42,776 --> 00:31:44,569
that interspacial life force,
496
00:31:44,653 --> 00:31:48,365
and, well, I think Clifford
understood it better than I.
497
00:31:48,490 --> 00:31:53,328
He also understood our bodies. Oh.
He loved our bodies.
498
00:31:53,870 --> 00:31:55,831
I guess people snickered
at us a little.
499
00:31:56,665 --> 00:31:58,708
You know,
spring in the lap of December.
500
00:31:58,834 --> 00:32:00,377
But you know something,
Mr. Columbo?
501
00:32:00,502 --> 00:32:03,630
There's no age barrier in feeling
comfortable with somebody.
502
00:32:04,047 --> 00:32:06,883
Oh, I'm sure there isn't, ma'am.
Sure there isn't.
503
00:32:07,008 --> 00:32:10,345
Urn, you exercise often, do you?
504
00:32:12,806 --> 00:32:15,851
Yeah. Well, morning and,
uh, evening.
505
00:32:15,934 --> 00:32:17,144
Wonderful.
506
00:32:19,104 --> 00:32:23,150
That's wonderful. Uh, I wanted to
ask you, if you don't mind...
507
00:32:23,900 --> 00:32:25,026
Thank you.
508
00:32:25,694 --> 00:32:28,446
Did Mr. Paris get along pretty well
with his nephews?
509
00:32:28,530 --> 00:32:29,531
Do you know about that?
510
00:32:29,614 --> 00:32:32,659
Did he prefer one to the other,
something like that?
511
00:32:34,411 --> 00:32:36,037
Oh, I don't know.
512
00:32:38,206 --> 00:32:40,000
Well, he, uh...
513
00:32:41,918 --> 00:32:43,712
He wanted them to...
514
00:32:45,630 --> 00:32:46,965
What did he want 'em to do?
515
00:32:47,716 --> 00:32:49,843
I guess he just wanted them to love
and understand each other.
516
00:32:49,926 --> 00:32:50,886
That's all.
517
00:32:51,761 --> 00:32:53,096
Well, I don't know
what kind of answers...
518
00:32:53,221 --> 00:32:56,475
I'm supposed to give
to this investigation.
519
00:32:57,100 --> 00:32:59,060
What am I, some kind of suspect?
520
00:32:59,352 --> 00:33:00,562
Oh, no.
521
00:33:00,645 --> 00:33:04,357
Oh, no, ma'am. Not at all.
Don't worry even thinking about that.
522
00:33:04,441 --> 00:33:06,276
You make me very uncomfortable.
523
00:33:06,401 --> 00:33:08,653
Well, I didn't mean to do that,
ma'am. I'm sorry.
524
00:33:09,654 --> 00:33:13,241
You know, even if Mr. Paris's death
should turn out for certain to be...
525
00:33:13,325 --> 00:33:14,910
from something other than
natural causes,
526
00:33:14,993 --> 00:33:16,453
you didn't even have a motive.
527
00:33:16,661 --> 00:33:17,913
For instance,
if you two were married,
528
00:33:18,205 --> 00:33:20,916
then you'd stand to inherit
all of his money, for instance.
529
00:33:20,999 --> 00:33:22,626
You see, that would be a motive.
530
00:33:26,421 --> 00:33:30,300
If I demanded that you leave this
house right now, would you have to?
531
00:33:32,260 --> 00:33:33,637
Well, I'm not sure, ma'am.
532
00:33:33,762 --> 00:33:35,430
Is there something or
some thing that...
533
00:33:35,513 --> 00:33:37,974
you're afraid that
I might ask you about?
534
00:33:38,767 --> 00:33:42,270
It's just that I request on my rights
that you please leave this house.
535
00:33:42,938 --> 00:33:44,397
Certainly, ma'am.
536
00:33:44,606 --> 00:33:47,025
Apparently, I said something
inadvertently, Miss Chambers.
537
00:33:47,108 --> 00:33:51,154
I'm sorry I did that because I think
you're a very nice lady.
538
00:34:02,582 --> 00:34:04,709
And now, my friends,
upward and onward to the simple,
539
00:34:04,793 --> 00:34:07,379
but incredibly
delectable hollandaise.
540
00:34:08,296 --> 00:34:10,840
An inexpensive magic
which transforms your lowly,
541
00:34:10,966 --> 00:34:14,261
mundane vegetables
into a gourmet delight.
542
00:34:14,719 --> 00:34:17,973
It's really so simple, folks, that
even your husband can prepare it.
543
00:34:18,098 --> 00:34:21,101
Now, I would like,
as I have in the past,
544
00:34:21,184 --> 00:34:23,979
to ask somebody from the audience
to volunteer and come up here.
545
00:34:24,145 --> 00:34:25,313
Hands up.
546
00:34:26,147 --> 00:34:27,899
Ladies, put your hands down.
547
00:34:28,483 --> 00:34:30,318
I would like a gentleman
to raise his hand.
548
00:34:31,569 --> 00:34:33,071
Is there a gentleman in the audience
who would like to volunteer...
549
00:34:33,154 --> 00:34:35,574
and come up here
to help me demonstrate?
550
00:34:36,658 --> 00:34:38,076
How about you, sir?
551
00:34:38,410 --> 00:34:39,244
How about you?
552
00:34:39,953 --> 00:34:42,330
I see a gentleman
in the audience that,
553
00:34:42,747 --> 00:34:45,041
uh... Let's follow me around here.
554
00:34:45,166 --> 00:34:47,294
Keep the camera on me.
Here we are.
555
00:34:47,877 --> 00:34:51,840
Uh, this gentleman over here.
How about you, sir?
556
00:34:52,924 --> 00:34:53,842
Come. Really.
557
00:34:53,967 --> 00:34:55,010
Oh, no.
558
00:34:55,260 --> 00:34:56,303
Go ahead!
559
00:34:56,594 --> 00:34:58,722
I think he's shy. Let's help him.
560
00:34:59,014 --> 00:35:01,683
Come on. Let's hear it.
561
00:35:02,392 --> 00:35:04,936
We won't take no for an answer.
Here we go.
562
00:35:05,020 --> 00:35:06,980
Here we go. Yes, sir.
563
00:35:08,023 --> 00:35:13,278
Come on. Let's hear it, folks.
Come on. Up. Hey.
564
00:35:19,409 --> 00:35:20,952
Ladies and gentlemen,
I have a confession to make.
565
00:35:21,036 --> 00:35:22,329
This happens to be
a friend of mine.
566
00:35:22,412 --> 00:35:25,165
Not a very close friend,
but one who does, in fact,
567
00:35:25,248 --> 00:35:28,084
qualify, uh, as someone's husband.
568
00:35:28,209 --> 00:35:31,254
This happens to be Lt. Columbo
of the L.A. P. D.,
569
00:35:31,379 --> 00:35:33,173
who is your everyday,
570
00:35:33,256 --> 00:35:36,259
average, typical,
downtrodden American husband.
571
00:35:36,384 --> 00:35:37,552
Don't you agree?
572
00:35:42,015 --> 00:35:44,059
Now, Lieutenant,
I would like you to help me.
573
00:35:44,184 --> 00:35:47,979
Now, this is a Dexter Paris,
number 91, multispeed blender.
574
00:35:48,063 --> 00:35:49,898
These are other ingredients
you find in most kitchens,
575
00:35:49,981 --> 00:35:51,066
I'm sure even in yours.
576
00:35:51,191 --> 00:35:52,734
We have four eggs...
577
00:35:53,068 --> 00:35:55,904
Relax, Lieutenant.
It's gonna be all right.
578
00:35:56,029 --> 00:35:59,491
Four eggs.
We have some salt, some pepper,
579
00:36:00,116 --> 00:36:03,828
some butter and some lemon juice.
Now, uh,
580
00:36:03,912 --> 00:36:07,207
let me take this off, make you
more comfortable, all right?
581
00:36:07,665 --> 00:36:10,126
And let's take your coat off too.
The jacket.
582
00:36:10,251 --> 00:36:11,961
All right, that's enough.
583
00:36:12,754 --> 00:36:15,340
All right. Now, I have something here
to make you much more comfortable...
584
00:36:15,423 --> 00:36:18,093
and a little neater, perhaps.
585
00:36:18,259 --> 00:36:19,928
Lieutenant, you want me
to help you tie that?
586
00:36:20,011 --> 00:36:20,804
Yes, please.
587
00:36:20,929 --> 00:36:24,516
Good. Let me, uh, take it
around this way. I think it's...
588
00:36:24,766 --> 00:36:26,601
All right, Lieutenant.
He's a man with his own mind.
589
00:36:26,684 --> 00:36:28,520
Uh, I'll tell you
what we're gonna do.
590
00:36:28,603 --> 00:36:30,021
Now, I'd like you to...
591
00:36:30,105 --> 00:36:33,274
separate the yolks
from the whites of the eggs...
592
00:36:33,358 --> 00:36:35,694
and put them in the blender,
all right?
593
00:36:35,777 --> 00:36:36,695
Now, while you're doing that,
594
00:36:36,778 --> 00:36:40,281
I'm going to take this
half cup of butter...
595
00:36:40,782 --> 00:36:43,118
Lieutenant,
Til take this half cup of butter,
596
00:36:43,243 --> 00:36:45,829
and I will heat it
in this frying pan.
597
00:36:45,954 --> 00:36:47,831
Now, uh, you think you can do that?
598
00:36:47,956 --> 00:36:50,125
I don't know. I'll try.
599
00:36:50,208 --> 00:36:53,795
All right, then, uh, get cracking.
600
00:36:54,003 --> 00:36:55,755
Is that my camera?
601
00:36:56,423 --> 00:36:58,007
You're on television.
602
00:37:02,262 --> 00:37:03,847
- All right now.
- All right.
603
00:37:04,514 --> 00:37:06,349
I'll heat this up meantime.
604
00:37:06,474 --> 00:37:08,685
And you better get cracking,
Lieutenant.
605
00:37:08,810 --> 00:37:12,063
I'll get cracking, yeah.
All right. All right.
606
00:37:12,480 --> 00:37:14,357
Uh, no, just the yolks.
607
00:37:15,024 --> 00:37:17,360
What do you mean, just the yolk?
This goes in here, doesn't it?
608
00:37:17,485 --> 00:37:18,653
No, no. Wait. No, no.
609
00:37:18,778 --> 00:37:21,239
You have to separate...
Let me show you what I mean.
610
00:37:21,489 --> 00:37:22,907
You separate...
611
00:37:24,159 --> 00:37:26,494
the yolks from the whites,
you see, by doing that.
612
00:37:26,578 --> 00:37:27,996
Then you just put the yolks
in there like that.
613
00:37:28,079 --> 00:37:30,331
Oh, I got it. All right.
614
00:37:30,832 --> 00:37:32,250
There we are.
615
00:37:34,043 --> 00:37:36,629
That's very good.
That's very good!
616
00:37:40,258 --> 00:37:43,011
That's amazing. You must do
a little cooking at home, huh?
617
00:37:43,094 --> 00:37:44,345
Uh...
618
00:37:45,346 --> 00:37:46,556
"Uh" what?
619
00:37:48,016 --> 00:37:49,893
You're doing very well though,
I must say.
620
00:37:50,018 --> 00:37:51,144
Thank you.
621
00:37:51,436 --> 00:37:52,687
Uh...
622
00:37:54,147 --> 00:37:56,316
Can't you say anything else,
Lieutenant?
623
00:37:57,525 --> 00:37:58,568
Uh...
624
00:38:00,069 --> 00:38:03,281
I think that's great.
You amuse me, Lieutenant.
625
00:38:03,531 --> 00:38:05,492
Yeah. Uh...
626
00:38:07,952 --> 00:38:11,706
Oh, please forgive me. That's
very good. For a job well done.
627
00:38:14,793 --> 00:38:16,711
No! Put it in there.
628
00:38:17,253 --> 00:38:18,963
Take the bows after.
629
00:38:19,881 --> 00:38:21,382
- All right.
- All right.
630
00:38:21,508 --> 00:38:23,176
- Oh, I broke this one.
- It's all right.
631
00:38:23,259 --> 00:38:26,554
It don't make any difference.
Nobody saw it. Huh?
632
00:38:26,679 --> 00:38:29,057
- That's fine.
- All right. One more.
633
00:38:29,140 --> 00:38:29,974
One more.
634
00:38:30,058 --> 00:38:33,061
And we separate those.
I'm getting sloppy with this thing.
635
00:38:33,144 --> 00:38:35,813
- That's fine. That's okay.
- There we are.
636
00:38:35,897 --> 00:38:38,024
- Wi... Wipe your hands off.
- Thank you very much.
637
00:38:38,107 --> 00:38:40,902
All right. Now, what about
a little lemon juice?
638
00:38:40,985 --> 00:38:42,904
- Put a little lemon juice in there.
- All right.
639
00:38:43,029 --> 00:38:46,241
I'll put the butter in.
A little more.
640
00:38:47,242 --> 00:38:49,077
- A little bit more.
- Little bit more.
641
00:38:49,202 --> 00:38:50,995
Perfect. Okay!
642
00:38:51,412 --> 00:38:54,999
Butter.
Now a little dash of salt. Salt.
643
00:38:55,625 --> 00:38:56,835
Gee, I'm getting to enjoy this.
644
00:38:56,918 --> 00:38:59,337
I know. A little pepper.
645
00:39:02,382 --> 00:39:06,386
Okay, that's great. Now, why
don't you turn on the blender.
646
00:39:06,469 --> 00:39:08,054
- Right here?
- Right there.
647
00:39:08,388 --> 00:39:09,722
There we go.
648
00:39:09,806 --> 00:39:14,310
Now, while that's blending,
I'll put this in here like this.
649
00:39:14,435 --> 00:39:17,647
And that's just about right.
650
00:39:17,772 --> 00:39:20,775
Why don't we just take this off.
Wanna hold that?
651
00:39:20,900 --> 00:39:23,027
Whoops. I said turn that off.
652
00:39:24,153 --> 00:39:25,321
Magic.
653
00:39:25,488 --> 00:39:29,701
Oh! I'm terribly sorry!
You...
654
00:39:29,784 --> 00:39:31,995
- That was your fault.
- I know it was.
655
00:39:38,960 --> 00:39:39,961
Mmm.
656
00:39:40,712 --> 00:39:42,463
Too much pepper, I think.
657
00:39:43,506 --> 00:39:44,215
It is.
658
00:39:44,299 --> 00:39:48,011
Oh, I'm terribly sorry,
but that's that fateful music.
659
00:39:48,136 --> 00:39:50,930
Yes, you gorgeous gaggle
of gals out there,
660
00:39:51,014 --> 00:39:53,224
it's time to say good-bye
for today.
661
00:39:53,308 --> 00:39:56,519
And remember...
When ze husband comes home tonight,
662
00:39:56,644 --> 00:40:00,481
let him know what wonderful eating
can do for the marriage.
663
00:40:00,607 --> 00:40:02,358
This is Dexter Paris saying,
"Mwah!"
664
00:40:02,483 --> 00:40:05,778
Bye-bye, ladies. See you tomorrow.
Thank you, Lieutenant.
665
00:40:17,790 --> 00:40:20,418
Well, you know, I can't believe
this really happened.
666
00:40:20,668 --> 00:40:23,671
I mean, appearing on TV like this?
I was very nervous.
667
00:40:23,755 --> 00:40:24,881
- Now, calm yourself.
- Could you notice?
668
00:40:25,006 --> 00:40:25,715
You were fine.
669
00:40:25,840 --> 00:40:28,593
My hand was shaking.
When I broke the egg, I was nervous.
670
00:40:28,676 --> 00:40:30,094
You were fine.
671
00:40:30,178 --> 00:40:33,181
No, really. Mr. Paris, this was
a very, very big moment.
672
00:40:33,306 --> 00:40:35,141
You were an asset to the show.
Believe me.
673
00:40:35,224 --> 00:40:36,142
I looked all right then?
674
00:40:36,225 --> 00:40:37,727
- You looked fine.
- Photographically?
675
00:40:37,852 --> 00:40:38,686
You looked wonderful.
676
00:40:38,811 --> 00:40:41,022
I didn't say much.
I don't remember saying anything.
677
00:40:41,147 --> 00:40:41,981
What's on your mind, Lieutenant?
678
00:40:42,065 --> 00:40:45,026
I remember coming around this corner,
and then, from there on in,
679
00:40:45,109 --> 00:40:46,527
nothing. I couldn't remember.
680
00:40:46,611 --> 00:40:48,780
You know, my wife cooks
all your recipes?
681
00:40:49,197 --> 00:40:50,031
When I first met you,
682
00:40:50,114 --> 00:40:52,158
I didn't mention that
I really knew who you were,
683
00:40:52,241 --> 00:40:53,951
but when I went home,
I told her...
684
00:40:54,035 --> 00:40:57,705
Well, she absolutely fell down.
She's a big fan of yours.
685
00:40:59,791 --> 00:41:02,043
I forgot to say hello.
686
00:41:02,251 --> 00:41:05,213
I was so nervous,
I forgot to say hello.
687
00:41:05,380 --> 00:41:06,255
- Isn't that something?
- Lieutenant.
688
00:41:06,381 --> 00:41:08,049
- What's on your mind?
- She'll kill me.
689
00:41:08,132 --> 00:41:09,300
You know what the problem is?
690
00:41:09,384 --> 00:41:11,886
The problem is whenever
she tries one of your recipes,
691
00:41:11,970 --> 00:41:14,806
it's a disaster. A total disaster.
692
00:41:14,889 --> 00:41:17,433
And she follows your instructions
to the letter. Believe me.
693
00:41:17,558 --> 00:41:19,978
Disaster. I don't know what it is.
694
00:41:20,061 --> 00:41:22,689
But the souffle falls down,
the cake hardens. You name it.
695
00:41:22,772 --> 00:41:24,982
Disaster.
You know what I told her?
696
00:41:25,066 --> 00:41:26,484
I told her it was the equipment.
697
00:41:27,860 --> 00:41:29,445
Lieutenant, I'm afraid I'm gonna
be out of my teens...
698
00:41:29,570 --> 00:41:31,739
by the time
this conversation gets anywhere.
699
00:41:31,948 --> 00:41:35,410
Do you ever recommend any equipment,
like say, for instance, a mixer?
700
00:41:35,535 --> 00:41:37,745
You know, one of those small electrical
mixers that you hold in your hand?
701
00:41:38,246 --> 00:41:41,749
No, I'm not permitted to endorse
any products by brand names, no.
702
00:41:41,874 --> 00:41:42,750
I'm sorry.
703
00:41:42,834 --> 00:41:44,752
Oh, I didn't know that. Oh.
704
00:41:44,836 --> 00:41:47,922
Well, uh, you know,
I did wanna tell you,
705
00:41:49,424 --> 00:41:51,426
you know they've
definitely established now...
706
00:41:51,509 --> 00:41:53,720
that your uncle passed away
from an electrical shock.
707
00:41:53,803 --> 00:41:55,763
I thought you should be aware of that.
708
00:41:56,055 --> 00:41:58,307
Oh. I...
709
00:41:59,434 --> 00:42:01,602
don't understand. I mean, uh...
710
00:42:03,104 --> 00:42:04,439
You mean from the exercise machine?
711
00:42:04,564 --> 00:42:06,441
No. I sent an electrician out there.
712
00:42:06,566 --> 00:42:08,735
The machine works
absolutely perfectly.
713
00:42:09,485 --> 00:42:12,113
Well, that doesn't make any sense.
I mean...
714
00:42:13,448 --> 00:42:14,741
do you have any ideas?
715
00:42:14,824 --> 00:42:16,325
Yes, sir, I do.
716
00:42:16,784 --> 00:42:19,954
Seems reasonably certain to me
that your uncle was murdered.
717
00:42:20,038 --> 00:42:22,498
Oh, come on, Columbo.
Come on!
718
00:42:22,623 --> 00:42:25,334
This melodramatic sleuthing
is driving me crazy.
719
00:42:26,252 --> 00:42:27,503
Look, I don't...
720
00:42:27,920 --> 00:42:31,549
I don't like being rude, Lieutenant,
but I really must go.
721
00:42:32,008 --> 00:42:34,260
For instance,
that upstairs bathtub...
722
00:42:34,343 --> 00:42:36,304
If somebody went in there
and, let's say,
723
00:42:36,387 --> 00:42:40,057
dropped an electrical appliance
in there, in that bathtub,
724
00:42:40,141 --> 00:42:42,143
during a time when it
was occupied, I mean.
725
00:42:42,268 --> 00:42:44,479
Look, you come in here
with the subtlety of a train wreck,
726
00:42:44,562 --> 00:42:47,148
and you ask me
what electric mixers I use.
727
00:42:47,231 --> 00:42:50,526
I didn't wanna bother you personally,
but I checked with your secretary.
728
00:42:50,651 --> 00:42:54,739
She told me you ordered up
two brand-new mixers only last week.
729
00:42:56,282 --> 00:42:57,950
My brother put you up to it, right?
730
00:42:58,034 --> 00:42:59,869
No, sir. No, he didn't.
731
00:43:05,124 --> 00:43:06,501
One, two.
732
00:43:19,305 --> 00:43:21,390
Yeah, my brother's beautiful.
He's beautiful.
733
00:43:21,516 --> 00:43:22,892
I'm sure he put it to you,
didn't he?
734
00:43:23,059 --> 00:43:26,270
Oh, I can see him now.
Yes, my brother.
735
00:43:26,395 --> 00:43:29,190
"Dexter? Unreliable. Dilettante."
736
00:43:29,315 --> 00:43:31,651
"Waiting for Uncle to die
so he can feed off his millions."
737
00:43:31,734 --> 00:43:33,027
"Yes. If you want a suspect,"
738
00:43:33,111 --> 00:43:35,196
"I suggest you keep an eye
on him, Lieutenant/'
739
00:43:35,863 --> 00:43:38,991
"Must go now.
Terribly sorry. Toodle-oo."
740
00:43:40,576 --> 00:43:41,536
How was that? Close?
741
00:43:41,702 --> 00:43:43,663
- Close? That was terrific!
- Yeah.
742
00:43:43,746 --> 00:43:44,622
You're very talented.
743
00:43:44,705 --> 00:43:46,165
- No, I mean that.
- Thank you.
744
00:43:46,249 --> 00:43:48,417
And you're right.
That's pretty much what he said.
745
00:43:48,709 --> 00:43:50,253
Let me ask you a question.
Did you hurl the same defamatory...
746
00:43:50,378 --> 00:43:51,379
remarks at him?
747
00:43:51,963 --> 00:43:56,676
He doesn't seem to have much
of a motive to kill your uncle, sir.
748
00:43:56,759 --> 00:43:58,719
I mean, he's established.
He has money of his own.
749
00:43:58,845 --> 00:44:00,137
Let me tell you something,
Lieutenant.
750
00:44:00,221 --> 00:44:02,640
My brother happens to be
a creature of habit.
751
00:44:02,974 --> 00:44:05,017
Today is Wednesday, correct?
752
00:44:05,226 --> 00:44:06,477
Did he happen to tell you
he was gonna fly to...
753
00:44:06,561 --> 00:44:08,104
San Francisco on a business trip?
754
00:44:08,521 --> 00:44:11,190
Yes. That's amazing.
Yes, he did.
755
00:44:11,274 --> 00:44:12,567
Yeah, I thought so.
756
00:44:13,234 --> 00:44:15,444
You doing anything
for the next couple of hours?
757
00:44:16,904 --> 00:44:17,655
Come on.
758
00:44:17,738 --> 00:44:18,573
Where are we going?
759
00:44:18,698 --> 00:44:21,409
We're gonna visit my brother,
see his motive.
760
00:44:55,276 --> 00:44:56,652
How long has this been going on?
761
00:44:56,777 --> 00:44:57,987
First time in Vegas, huh?
762
00:44:58,613 --> 00:45:01,282
Uh, we were supposed to
come down two years ago,
763
00:45:01,407 --> 00:45:03,534
but my wife switched sides
and voted with my in-laws.
764
00:45:03,618 --> 00:45:06,495
We ended up in Animal Land.
It was nothing like this.
765
00:45:06,621 --> 00:45:09,457
See that second crap table
over there? Over there.
766
00:45:09,582 --> 00:45:11,042
Recognize anybody?
767
00:45:14,712 --> 00:45:16,839
Seven! The winner!
768
00:45:17,340 --> 00:45:18,424
Norman.
769
00:45:18,507 --> 00:45:19,592
Right.
770
00:45:19,842 --> 00:45:21,344
He tells me
he's going to San Francisco.
771
00:45:21,469 --> 00:45:22,553
That's right.
772
00:45:22,637 --> 00:45:23,888
This is his San Francisco trip?
773
00:45:23,971 --> 00:45:24,972
He comes here every Wednesday,
774
00:45:25,056 --> 00:45:27,892
in rain or shine,
in sickness or in health.
775
00:45:27,975 --> 00:45:29,852
Mostly in sickness.
776
00:45:29,977 --> 00:45:32,313
Hey, you liked the last
impersonation I did of him?
777
00:45:32,563 --> 00:45:34,148
You're gonna love this one.
778
00:45:34,273 --> 00:45:35,650
- Come on. Come on!
- Where? What?
779
00:45:41,739 --> 00:45:43,366
Well, well, Mr. Paris.
780
00:45:43,491 --> 00:45:45,451
I believe this is the first time
in three years...
781
00:45:45,534 --> 00:45:47,787
I've seen you
without a necktie on.
782
00:45:47,870 --> 00:45:49,163
What can I do for you today?
783
00:45:49,288 --> 00:45:51,207
I'm not here to beg
another credit extension, but...
784
00:45:51,332 --> 00:45:53,000
this gentleman is
willing to advance me...
785
00:45:53,084 --> 00:45:56,462
sufficient funds to help me diminish
my indebtedness to this establishment.
786
00:45:56,545 --> 00:45:58,255
Just one minute, Norman.
787
00:45:58,339 --> 00:45:59,298
I'm willing to do that, ma'am.
788
00:45:59,382 --> 00:46:01,050
I'd like to know how much
he owes first, exactly.
789
00:46:01,175 --> 00:46:02,510
- Do you have that on file?
- Yes, of course.
790
00:46:02,635 --> 00:46:04,303
We have that one right here.
791
00:46:05,638 --> 00:46:08,349
We have markers for Mr. Paris
totaling...
792
00:46:08,808 --> 00:46:11,519
$37,500.
793
00:46:14,271 --> 00:46:15,439
That enough evidence?
794
00:46:15,523 --> 00:46:18,109
That is what you said,
huh, Columbo? Huh?
795
00:46:19,652 --> 00:46:20,695
Come on.
796
00:46:25,032 --> 00:46:27,618
Seven! A loser.
797
00:46:28,452 --> 00:46:30,621
Excuse me. Excuse me.
798
00:46:38,629 --> 00:46:43,509
New shooter. Don't forget your
big six and your big eight, folks.
799
00:46:46,512 --> 00:46:47,888
That's me too.
800
00:46:52,518 --> 00:46:53,853
Here we go.
801
00:46:54,437 --> 00:46:57,231
Craps! A loser.
802
00:46:58,649 --> 00:47:02,236
Comin' up, a new shooter.
Get your bets down.
803
00:47:02,486 --> 00:47:06,073
Don't forget your big six
and your big eight, folks.
804
00:47:06,282 --> 00:47:08,909
Don't forget your pass line.
Here we go.
805
00:47:11,287 --> 00:47:14,540
Get your bets down, folks.
A new shooter.
806
00:47:14,790 --> 00:47:16,625
Shooter comirT up.
807
00:47:17,209 --> 00:47:18,794
Here we go now.
808
00:47:19,837 --> 00:47:21,172
Care to make a bet, sir?
809
00:47:21,380 --> 00:47:23,215
Watch your hands.
810
00:47:24,383 --> 00:47:26,260
Watch your hands, folks.
811
00:47:27,678 --> 00:47:30,431
Eight, the number. Easy eight.
812
00:47:35,436 --> 00:47:37,438
Seven! A loser.
813
00:47:40,274 --> 00:47:44,862
Put your bets down, folks.
A shooter comin' up.
814
00:47:49,784 --> 00:47:50,993
Beautiful.
815
00:47:51,744 --> 00:47:53,412
Just beautiful.
816
00:47:54,622 --> 00:47:58,751
Hmm. Beautiful. Just beautiful.
817
00:47:58,834 --> 00:48:00,211
I didn't know how gorgeous
this stuff was...
818
00:48:00,294 --> 00:48:01,962
If you please!
819
00:48:02,088 --> 00:48:05,299
- Uh... yes, Lieutenant.
- I'm sorry.
820
00:48:05,800 --> 00:48:08,302
Mr. Paris was
a very shrewd collector.
821
00:48:09,804 --> 00:48:11,806
This stuff
is worth a fortune, huh?
822
00:48:11,972 --> 00:48:14,600
Well, that's what these gentlemen
and I are trying to determine.
823
00:48:14,683 --> 00:48:18,395
I was Mr. Paris's business manager
as well as his attorney, so...
824
00:48:18,479 --> 00:48:20,481
I'm responsible for
all these assets.
825
00:48:20,564 --> 00:48:22,024
Listen, I don't want to get
in the way or anything,
826
00:48:22,149 --> 00:48:23,484
so you just tell me.
827
00:48:23,609 --> 00:48:26,987
I know that's a big responsibility
to have all this, uh...
828
00:48:27,071 --> 00:48:30,408
all these lovely artifacts,
things of such beauty.
829
00:48:30,491 --> 00:48:33,244
There's a lot more to the estate
than just this house.
830
00:48:34,620 --> 00:48:36,539
Are you close to
the nephews at all?
831
00:48:36,664 --> 00:48:38,249
No, not really.
832
00:48:38,833 --> 00:48:42,670
But Dexter's useless,
and Norman's rather pompous.
833
00:48:43,629 --> 00:48:44,922
Excuse me.
834
00:48:55,850 --> 00:48:58,185
She practically raised both boys.
835
00:48:58,853 --> 00:49:00,980
She has more love for the family
than the family does.
836
00:49:01,063 --> 00:49:03,357
I think she hates me.
I really feel that.
837
00:49:03,732 --> 00:49:05,484
I bet she's very strong.
838
00:49:07,862 --> 00:49:09,405
Yes, it is. It's a shame
that the two brothers...
839
00:49:09,530 --> 00:49:11,198
don't get along like that.
840
00:49:12,575 --> 00:49:13,868
Which one of them do you suspect?
841
00:49:13,993 --> 00:49:15,327
I beg your pardon?
842
00:49:16,162 --> 00:49:17,788
Come now, Lieutenant.
843
00:49:18,706 --> 00:49:20,708
Well, sir, the trouble there is
it seems to me that...
844
00:49:20,833 --> 00:49:23,586
they both have pretty good motives.
I'm very big on motive.
845
00:49:23,711 --> 00:49:26,088
Mm-hmm. Norman's
gambling debts, you mean.
846
00:49:26,213 --> 00:49:26,881
You know about that?
847
00:49:26,964 --> 00:49:29,675
Mmm. I just made sure
the old man never found out.
848
00:49:29,758 --> 00:49:31,802
He was awfully proud of Norman.
849
00:49:32,219 --> 00:49:35,473
But Norman wasn't there
that day, remember? Dexter was.
850
00:49:35,598 --> 00:49:37,641
He came while Clifford
and I were fencing.
851
00:49:37,808 --> 00:49:41,729
Don't touch that, please!
That's a rather valuable little piece.
852
00:49:41,854 --> 00:49:44,023
Oh. Sorry.
853
00:49:44,690 --> 00:49:47,401
Has your department visited
Lisa Chambers at all?
854
00:49:47,485 --> 00:49:49,195
Must have been really tough on her.
855
00:49:49,320 --> 00:49:51,238
The funny thing about that
when I spoke to her,
856
00:49:51,322 --> 00:49:53,908
she was very nervous,
sort of defensive.
857
00:49:54,241 --> 00:49:57,786
Would she have any reason that
you know of to maybe help or...
858
00:49:57,912 --> 00:49:59,663
maybe protect
either one of the two brothers?
859
00:49:59,747 --> 00:50:03,000
Protect them? I don't think
she even knows them.
860
00:50:03,250 --> 00:50:06,003
Oh, met Dexter
once or twice perhaps, but...
861
00:50:06,086 --> 00:50:07,588
no, I wouldn't think so, Lieutenant.
862
00:50:07,671 --> 00:50:09,507
Thank you very much
for your courtesy, Mr. Hatheway.
863
00:50:09,590 --> 00:50:11,467
We're going to check out
every possibility.
864
00:50:11,592 --> 00:50:14,220
Including myself, I trust.
865
00:50:14,595 --> 00:50:15,804
I wouldn't want to feel slighted.
866
00:50:15,930 --> 00:50:18,140
To be frank, sir,
we haven't slighted you.
867
00:50:19,600 --> 00:50:21,769
Man dies without a will, well,
868
00:50:21,894 --> 00:50:24,271
we know that whoever manages
an estate of this size...
869
00:50:24,396 --> 00:50:25,981
can do pretty well by it.
870
00:50:26,106 --> 00:50:27,858
I certainly hope to.
871
00:50:28,025 --> 00:50:29,526
Does that put me on your list?
872
00:50:29,610 --> 00:50:32,780
We checked out where you went after
your fencing match with Mr. Paris.
873
00:50:32,905 --> 00:50:35,658
You really couldn't have killed
anybody from that attorneys' banquet.
874
00:50:35,908 --> 00:50:39,328
Well, it's always flattering
to be considered, however briefly.
875
00:50:39,453 --> 00:50:41,956
Right. Of course,
you coulcTve had him killed.
876
00:50:44,667 --> 00:50:47,670
But I really don't put you very high
on the list of suspects.
877
00:50:48,295 --> 00:50:49,797
Nice talking with you, sir.
878
00:50:52,633 --> 00:50:54,969
Bum! You're a bum!
879
00:50:55,261 --> 00:50:59,515
Putting your stinking cigar butt
in this silver antique dish!
880
00:50:59,640 --> 00:51:02,393
Do you see this? Oh!
881
00:51:02,601 --> 00:51:04,436
I thought it was an ashtray.
882
00:51:04,853 --> 00:51:06,689
I have one at home
that looks exactly like that.
883
00:51:06,814 --> 00:51:08,524
Would you excuse me for a moment?
884
00:51:11,193 --> 00:51:11,986
Excuse me.
885
00:51:18,409 --> 00:51:19,702
Mrs. Peck?
886
00:51:20,494 --> 00:51:23,330
Mrs. Peck, I made a very poor
introduction of myself to you.
887
00:51:23,414 --> 00:51:24,582
I know that.
888
00:51:24,665 --> 00:51:26,375
I'm a stranger in your house
that you love,
889
00:51:26,500 --> 00:51:28,377
and I'm here to do
something that's not pleasant,
890
00:51:28,502 --> 00:51:32,006
so I don't expect you to like me.
But I have feelings too, Mrs. Peck.
891
00:51:32,089 --> 00:51:36,010
I'm sorry about being untidy.
That's something I can't control.
892
00:51:36,093 --> 00:51:37,886
That's a fault of mine
that I... I don't know...
893
00:51:38,012 --> 00:51:39,013
I just can't correct that.
894
00:51:39,138 --> 00:51:42,850
I've tried many years. I'm just
very untidy. That's my nature.
895
00:51:42,933 --> 00:51:44,184
But I've never been...
896
00:51:44,310 --> 00:51:46,520
I've never been rude to you,
Mrs. Peck.
897
00:51:46,604 --> 00:51:49,690
And if you keep on treating me
like I'm an enemy...
898
00:51:49,815 --> 00:51:51,942
just because I'm here trying
to find who killed the man...
899
00:51:52,026 --> 00:51:53,736
that you worked for for 33 years,
900
00:51:53,861 --> 00:51:57,197
well, then I think
you're a very unfair person.
901
00:52:06,373 --> 00:52:08,125
Lieutenant Columbo.
902
00:52:13,088 --> 00:52:14,298
Lieutenant,
903
00:52:15,382 --> 00:52:18,177
I know that you're
a very hardworking officer...
904
00:52:18,677 --> 00:52:21,096
and I would like to offer you
a plate of...
905
00:52:21,305 --> 00:52:24,600
Mr. Paris's favorite health cookies
and a glass of milk.
906
00:52:24,808 --> 00:52:27,561
Well, thank you. I'm extremely
fond of health cookies.
907
00:52:32,858 --> 00:52:34,151
And then what?
908
00:52:35,569 --> 00:52:37,404
Well, nothing.
909
00:52:39,031 --> 00:52:43,035
Well, the bell rang,
and I let Miss Chambers in.
910
00:52:43,118 --> 00:52:45,120
She had a cab waiting.
911
00:52:45,412 --> 00:52:48,874
Maybe there's some little thing...
I mean really little.
912
00:52:48,957 --> 00:52:50,042
A noise maybe?
913
00:52:51,919 --> 00:52:55,964
Well, the TV there
went off for a minute.
914
00:52:56,632 --> 00:52:57,758
The TV went off?
915
00:52:57,925 --> 00:53:02,262
Well, it came back on again
in a few seconds.
916
00:53:02,346 --> 00:53:03,097
It's not worth mentioning,
917
00:53:03,180 --> 00:53:05,849
except that the color
hasn't been the same since.
918
00:53:07,434 --> 00:53:09,603
Well, I'm an expert on fine-tuning.
919
00:53:09,687 --> 00:53:12,940
What I mean is, you know,
I know what those repairmen get.
920
00:53:13,023 --> 00:53:14,441
See, I got stung a couple of times,
921
00:53:14,566 --> 00:53:16,068
and I went down
to the supermarket...
922
00:53:16,151 --> 00:53:17,945
and I bought one of those
instructional manuals...
923
00:53:18,070 --> 00:53:19,863
and I really studied it up.
924
00:53:19,947 --> 00:53:21,699
So if you don't mind,
may I take a look at this,
925
00:53:21,782 --> 00:53:23,075
see what I can do for you?
926
00:53:23,534 --> 00:53:24,493
Uh, no.
927
00:53:24,952 --> 00:53:29,706
Huh? When the TV set went off,
did the lights go off too?
928
00:53:29,873 --> 00:53:32,000
Well, I didn't have any lights on
in here at all.
929
00:53:32,126 --> 00:53:34,378
Of course, I don't know
about the rest of the house.
930
00:53:34,461 --> 00:53:37,506
But it was only 20 seconds.
I'm sure it wasn't...
931
00:53:37,631 --> 00:53:41,260
Do you remember exactly when it was
that the set went flooey?
932
00:53:41,343 --> 00:53:45,639
Yes, I remember exactly
because I was hammering on the TV,
933
00:53:45,806 --> 00:53:48,934
and I saw the clock,
and it was 8:05 exactly.
934
00:53:49,017 --> 00:53:51,270
And Miss Chambers
got here at 8:30.
935
00:53:51,353 --> 00:53:53,522
Boy, this thing really is
out of whack, isn't it?
936
00:53:53,647 --> 00:53:55,649
But I'm gonna be able
to help you with it.
937
00:53:55,733 --> 00:53:58,944
All you have to do
is get the precise thing...
938
00:53:59,153 --> 00:54:02,281
Oh, dear. Wait a minute.
Uh-oh.
939
00:54:02,364 --> 00:54:04,908
Oh, wait a minute. Now, Mrs. Peck,
I want you to remain calm.
940
00:54:04,992 --> 00:54:06,994
Remain calm, Mrs. Peck.
Just remain calm.
941
00:54:07,202 --> 00:54:09,413
- This goes back on very easily.
- Out!
942
00:54:09,496 --> 00:54:10,831
This is part of the knob.
943
00:54:10,914 --> 00:54:11,790
You just tell the repairman...
944
00:54:11,874 --> 00:54:12,541
Out!
945
00:54:12,666 --> 00:54:14,334
This needs to go right back...
Yes, ma'am. I'm leaving.
946
00:54:14,418 --> 00:54:16,712
- Out!
- I'd be very happy to pay for this.
947
00:54:16,962 --> 00:54:18,964
- Out!
- Yes, ma'am. I'm going.
948
00:54:21,175 --> 00:54:22,885
- Maybe the repairman...
- Out!
949
00:54:23,010 --> 00:54:24,470
I'll leave it right here.
950
00:54:26,180 --> 00:54:27,848
Your uncle left a will, Norman,
951
00:54:28,891 --> 00:54:31,185
leaving the bulk of the estate
not to you or your brother,
952
00:54:31,268 --> 00:54:32,853
but to Miss Lisa Chambers.
953
00:54:40,736 --> 00:54:41,779
Uh...
954
00:54:44,114 --> 00:54:45,824
Would you like
to see for yourself?
955
00:54:48,202 --> 00:54:49,536
See, the girl, uh,
956
00:54:49,620 --> 00:54:51,830
really wasn't that keen
on marrying him.
957
00:54:53,373 --> 00:54:57,211
The silly little thing honestly
didn't care at all about money.
958
00:54:59,880 --> 00:55:03,884
So in a burst of...
what, romantic enthusiasm?
959
00:55:04,176 --> 00:55:07,930
And to show her that he believed
she'd never marry him for his money,
960
00:55:08,055 --> 00:55:10,724
he had me draw up this will
leaving everything to her...
961
00:55:10,807 --> 00:55:12,476
whether she married him or not.
962
00:55:12,893 --> 00:55:14,061
I can't accept this.
963
00:55:14,144 --> 00:55:15,604
So if either one of you killed him,
964
00:55:15,729 --> 00:55:18,732
it's all for nothing because
the money goes to the girl.
965
00:55:19,733 --> 00:55:21,818
Unless, of course...
966
00:55:22,903 --> 00:55:23,904
well...
967
00:55:24,112 --> 00:55:25,239
Go on, please.
968
00:55:26,073 --> 00:55:28,617
There are only three copies
of this will.
969
00:55:28,742 --> 00:55:31,370
One in my safe, one which
was in your uncle's safe...
970
00:55:31,453 --> 00:55:35,332
until I removed it this morning
and, uh, the copy held by the girl.
971
00:55:35,499 --> 00:55:36,208
And?
972
00:55:36,291 --> 00:55:37,584
And...
973
00:55:38,252 --> 00:55:40,254
I might be able to persuade
the lovely...
974
00:55:40,379 --> 00:55:42,089
but not too brilliant young lady...
975
00:55:42,214 --> 00:55:46,009
into giving me her copy
for safekeeping.
976
00:55:46,260 --> 00:55:48,554
Ergo, no copy
of any will being found,
977
00:55:48,637 --> 00:55:52,432
the estate descends to you
and your brother.
978
00:55:55,102 --> 00:55:57,312
In return for...
979
00:55:57,771 --> 00:56:01,316
A simple contract calling for
the retention of my services...
980
00:56:01,441 --> 00:56:04,111
as business manager
and as attorney.
981
00:56:06,947 --> 00:56:09,908
I see no reason not to make as
much money now from the estate...
982
00:56:09,992 --> 00:56:12,411
as I did before your uncle died.
983
00:56:15,998 --> 00:56:17,624
Tell you what, counselor.
984
00:56:18,000 --> 00:56:20,210
You can be my business manager
and my lawyer...
985
00:56:20,294 --> 00:56:23,255
if you can get her copy of the will
away from that girl.
986
00:56:23,338 --> 00:56:24,840
That's fair enough.
987
00:56:25,007 --> 00:56:28,302
Why don't you go pick up your other
phone and listen, if you'd like.
988
00:56:50,908 --> 00:56:51,783
Hello.
989
00:56:51,992 --> 00:56:54,077
Uh, Miss Chambers?
This is Michael Hatheway.
990
00:56:54,328 --> 00:56:57,372
Oh, listen. I've been trying to get
in touch with your office all day!
991
00:56:57,497 --> 00:56:58,206
Oh, really?
992
00:56:58,415 --> 00:57:02,002
This police detective came over here
to ask me a lot of questions...
993
00:57:02,085 --> 00:57:04,546
about Clifford and his nephews
and everything.
994
00:57:04,671 --> 00:57:06,214
/ didn't know what to tell him.
995
00:57:06,340 --> 00:57:07,841
That's funny.
That's what I was calling about.
996
00:57:07,966 --> 00:57:09,134
Do you have a moment?
997
00:57:09,217 --> 00:57:10,260
I'm listening.
998
00:57:10,344 --> 00:57:12,512
/ do have certain sources in
the police department...
999
00:57:12,638 --> 00:57:13,930
who seem to feel...
1000
00:57:14,139 --> 00:57:17,351
that you're regarded as a
prime suspect in Mr. Paris's death.
1001
00:57:17,476 --> 00:57:20,979
I know that. That I know,
but I didn't do it, Mr. Hatheway!
1002
00:57:21,063 --> 00:57:21,813
Let me finish.
1003
00:57:21,897 --> 00:57:23,273
Please, Miss Chambers.
1004
00:57:23,565 --> 00:57:25,817
I strongly suggest
that when they come...
1005
00:57:25,901 --> 00:57:26,610
to arrest you...
1006
00:57:26,693 --> 00:57:27,986
Arrest me?
1007
00:57:28,070 --> 00:57:29,780
Oh, really!
1008
00:57:30,614 --> 00:57:31,365
Oh, yes.
1009
00:57:31,448 --> 00:57:33,367
Apparently they feel the
circumstantial evidence...
1010
00:57:33,450 --> 00:57:35,744
is overwhelming,
particularly since it was,
1011
00:57:35,869 --> 00:57:39,164
unfortunately,
you who found Mr. Paris's body.
1012
00:57:39,331 --> 00:57:42,918
Mr. Hatheway, I didn't do this.
You know I didn't do this!
1013
00:57:43,043 --> 00:57:44,544
Of course you didn't.
1014
00:57:44,628 --> 00:57:46,922
I'm only telling you
these things because...
1015
00:57:48,048 --> 00:57:50,384
I feel that, for Mr. Paris's sake,
1016
00:57:50,467 --> 00:57:52,552
the least I can do is help you
get out of this mess.
1017
00:57:52,719 --> 00:57:56,682
There's one very important thing
you should understand, Miss Chambers.
1018
00:57:56,765 --> 00:57:57,975
If the police...
1019
00:57:58,058 --> 00:58:00,894
should ever find that copy of
the will Mr. Paris made out...
1020
00:58:00,978 --> 00:58:03,230
naming you as sole beneficiary...
1021
00:58:03,313 --> 00:58:06,066
Well, I don't want the money.
I never wanted the money.
1022
00:58:06,191 --> 00:58:08,151
I realize that,
but you must understand that...
1023
00:58:08,235 --> 00:58:09,653
the police would never believe you.
1024
00:58:09,820 --> 00:58:11,989
I don't care about the money!
1025
00:58:12,239 --> 00:58:14,783
Well, we don't have
very much time, Miss Chambers.
1026
00:58:14,908 --> 00:58:16,493
I think the wisest thing...
1027
00:58:16,576 --> 00:58:20,664
is to pick up your copy of that
will myself for safekeeping,
1028
00:58:21,248 --> 00:58:23,917
just in case the police come at you
with a search warrant tonight.
1029
00:58:24,042 --> 00:58:26,920
Yeah. Okay. All right.
Thank you very much.
1030
00:58:27,087 --> 00:58:29,047
I can be at your apartment at 5:00.
1031
00:58:29,256 --> 00:58:30,340
Thank you.
1032
00:58:36,012 --> 00:58:37,431
Good work, counselor.
1033
00:58:39,099 --> 00:58:40,100
There.
1034
00:59:08,336 --> 00:59:09,588
Miss Chambers?
1035
00:59:12,424 --> 00:59:13,633
Miss Chambers?
1036
00:59:19,097 --> 00:59:20,265
Hello!
1037
00:59:38,658 --> 00:59:39,993
Miss Chambers.
1038
01:00:37,551 --> 01:00:40,387
Sir? May I ask which apartment
you came from?
1039
01:00:46,059 --> 01:00:48,061
I set Hatheway up, huh?
1040
01:00:48,520 --> 01:00:51,773
Oh, boy. Has he got a galloping
imagination. And you believe him?
1041
01:00:51,898 --> 01:00:53,900
Oh, now,
I never said that, sir.
1042
01:00:53,984 --> 01:00:55,527
But Mr. Hatheway does claim that...
1043
01:00:55,610 --> 01:00:58,405
since you knew what time
he was due to visit Miss Chambers,
1044
01:00:58,488 --> 01:01:00,740
all you had to do
was get there ahead of him,
1045
01:01:00,824 --> 01:01:03,118
- ...wait until you saw his car arrive.
- Wrong.
1046
01:01:03,243 --> 01:01:05,161
When you knew that
he was in the elevator,
1047
01:01:05,245 --> 01:01:06,830
shove the lady over the balcony...
1048
01:01:06,913 --> 01:01:09,291
disappear down the back stairs
in all the commotion.
1049
01:01:09,416 --> 01:01:12,127
- Wrong.
- Well, he was very insistent, Mr. Paris.
1050
01:01:12,252 --> 01:01:15,589
He woke up half the police station.
He was very loud, very vocal.
1051
01:01:15,714 --> 01:01:17,424
You wouldn't believe
the noise that he made.
1052
01:01:17,507 --> 01:01:19,426
What do you expect? A confession?
1053
01:01:19,551 --> 01:01:20,594
No.
1054
01:01:21,136 --> 01:01:23,638
No, sir. No, I don't.
1055
01:01:24,055 --> 01:01:25,765
Oh! By the way,
1056
01:01:26,516 --> 01:01:31,313
I have here a, uh,
copy of an agreement signed by you.
1057
01:01:33,398 --> 01:01:36,234
"Retaining Mr. Michael Hatheway
as...
1058
01:01:36,318 --> 01:01:39,404
business manager and attorney
for all the estate."
1059
01:01:39,613 --> 01:01:41,698
That's right. I assumed that I
would need someone to handle...
1060
01:01:41,781 --> 01:01:44,284
my share of my uncle's estate
that I thought I was inheriting.
1061
01:01:44,409 --> 01:01:47,454
That's a straight, aboveboard
business agreement.
1062
01:01:48,288 --> 01:01:50,457
I see here
your brother signed it.
1063
01:01:50,957 --> 01:01:53,501
We thought we were inheriting
my uncle's estate.
1064
01:01:53,627 --> 01:01:56,963
Oh. I thought you never
talked to your brother.
1065
01:01:58,298 --> 01:02:00,926
I talked to my brother today for
the first time in over two years...
1066
01:02:01,009 --> 01:02:03,845
on the phone to discuss the signing
of that agreement.
1067
01:02:04,387 --> 01:02:05,972
When I hung up, I still hated
his pompous guts,
1068
01:02:06,097 --> 01:02:08,183
and I'm sure
he felt the same way about me.
1069
01:02:08,642 --> 01:02:11,061
I guess wounds between two people
never heal, huh?
1070
01:02:11,144 --> 01:02:13,188
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
1071
01:02:13,855 --> 01:02:16,483
When I talked to my brother,
Norman, I did tell him...
1072
01:02:16,608 --> 01:02:20,028
that Hatheway and Lisa Chambers...
1073
01:02:20,445 --> 01:02:22,322
were gonna meet at 5:00.
1074
01:02:22,447 --> 01:02:23,114
You did?
1075
01:02:23,990 --> 01:02:27,410
Yeah. Well, well, good old Norman,
my banker brother.
1076
01:02:27,494 --> 01:02:29,037
I'm sure he won't admit
that I told him.
1077
01:02:30,121 --> 01:02:32,082
I would tend to agree
with that, sir, yes.
1078
01:02:32,165 --> 01:02:34,042
Which means that Hatheway
could be telling the truth.
1079
01:02:34,167 --> 01:02:35,293
In other words...
1080
01:02:35,710 --> 01:02:38,630
good old Norman could have shoved
Lisa right off the balcony, right?
1081
01:02:38,713 --> 01:02:42,634
Which means that possibly
he committed two murders, not one.
1082
01:02:42,717 --> 01:02:44,344
Do you realize the 6:00 news
could make him a bigger...
1083
01:02:44,469 --> 01:02:45,929
TV celebrity than I am?
1084
01:02:46,137 --> 01:02:48,598
Mr. Paris, do you think
that your brother is guilty?
1085
01:02:49,474 --> 01:02:51,935
The truth? Of course not.
1086
01:02:52,519 --> 01:02:54,813
I think it's quite obvious
what happened. I think, uh,
1087
01:02:55,438 --> 01:02:58,525
Hatheway and the girl made a deal.
She killed my uncle,
1088
01:02:59,192 --> 01:03:00,443
Hatheway killed her.
1089
01:03:00,527 --> 01:03:02,070
She probably tried to cross him...
1090
01:03:02,195 --> 01:03:04,698
for some reason or other,
and he shoved her off the balcony.
1091
01:03:10,912 --> 01:03:12,038
Lieutenant?
1092
01:03:13,623 --> 01:03:16,251
Oh. Sorry.
Thank you very much, Mr. Paris.
1093
01:03:16,376 --> 01:03:18,128
You've been very helpful.
Good night.
1094
01:03:30,724 --> 01:03:32,058
Mr. Marshak,
1095
01:03:32,142 --> 01:03:35,729
you've had over 30 years as a
practicing lawyer in this town.
1096
01:03:35,854 --> 01:03:37,897
I'm new. I'm green.
1097
01:03:37,981 --> 01:03:40,233
Tell me, what can I do
for this client?
1098
01:03:40,900 --> 01:03:43,236
What can any one of us ever do,
Tony?
1099
01:03:43,737 --> 01:03:45,822
Oh, we can be grateful,
I suppose.
1100
01:03:48,575 --> 01:03:50,076
Ohh!
1101
01:03:51,077 --> 01:03:52,704
I know!
1102
01:03:55,248 --> 01:03:57,250
- Lieutenant Columbo!
- In a moment, ma'am.
1103
01:03:58,293 --> 01:03:59,836
- Lieutenant!
- Can't talk now.
1104
01:03:59,919 --> 01:04:01,629
You have been allowed
to come into this house.
1105
01:04:01,755 --> 01:04:04,591
- You have been given permission.
- Not now.
1106
01:04:04,674 --> 01:04:06,843
You have turned everything
into chaos!
1107
01:04:06,968 --> 01:04:10,347
Now you have bungled
my television set!
1108
01:04:10,430 --> 01:04:12,307
Do you hear me?
1109
01:04:48,134 --> 01:04:49,719
My television does not work.
1110
01:04:49,803 --> 01:04:52,347
It'll be fine now. New fuse.
I promise it'll be terrific.
1111
01:04:52,472 --> 01:04:53,681
I promise.
1112
01:04:55,642 --> 01:05:00,647
If we hadn 't maneuvered Irving's
confession of infidelities...
1113
01:05:00,980 --> 01:05:03,149
with Shirley's uncle and aunt,
1114
01:05:03,983 --> 01:05:07,445
we might have sent
still another man to his death.
1115
01:05:07,529 --> 01:05:10,698
Purple. I'll kill him!
1116
01:05:53,199 --> 01:05:56,327
I want to pay the repairman for you.
I want to pay everything.
1117
01:05:56,411 --> 01:05:58,454
Right now, while the man is
still here, I'll pay you.
1118
01:05:58,538 --> 01:06:00,206
Mrs. Peck,
in front of your eyes, I'll do it.
1119
01:06:00,373 --> 01:06:01,499
And I won't touch anything.
1120
01:06:01,583 --> 01:06:03,751
I swear on my mother's eyes,
not a thing.
1121
01:06:03,877 --> 01:06:05,670
Please, would you let me in?
1122
01:06:13,678 --> 01:06:16,222
You get the Degas,
I get the Picassos.
1123
01:06:16,306 --> 01:06:18,933
Norman, you couldn't tell
a Picasso from a Rorschach test.
1124
01:06:19,058 --> 01:06:21,728
Can anyone? I know well enough
what they're worth.
1125
01:06:22,228 --> 01:06:24,105
Is that all that matters to you?
Money? Dollars and cents?
1126
01:06:24,230 --> 01:06:24,981
Is that all?
1127
01:06:25,064 --> 01:06:26,941
Look, my fellow vulture,
if you're going to be here,
1128
01:06:27,066 --> 01:06:27,859
you're going to be
picking the bones.
1129
01:06:27,942 --> 01:06:29,068
Excuse us.
1130
01:06:29,194 --> 01:06:31,196
Lieutenant Columbo is here.
1131
01:06:35,074 --> 01:06:36,576
Thank you, Mrs. Peck.
1132
01:06:36,659 --> 01:06:38,786
Yes, Lieutenant.
What is it this time?
1133
01:06:39,120 --> 01:06:41,456
Well, I'm a little ahead of the
police car supposed to meet me here.
1134
01:06:41,581 --> 01:06:45,251
Pardon me, lady, but how do you want
me to set the color on that thing?
1135
01:06:45,376 --> 01:06:48,463
It's okay, Mrs. Peck. Take care of
your TV set. Go ahead.
1136
01:06:55,887 --> 01:06:57,430
You were saying, Lieutenant.
1137
01:06:58,139 --> 01:06:59,933
Well, to tell you the truth,
1138
01:07:00,225 --> 01:07:02,435
I came here, I think,
to make an arrest.
1139
01:07:05,396 --> 01:07:06,356
You think?
1140
01:07:06,439 --> 01:07:07,941
Well, it's a little bit complicated.
1141
01:07:08,066 --> 01:07:10,360
Would you mind too much
coming with me to the bathroom?
1142
01:07:21,829 --> 01:07:24,958
Columbo, you're marvelous.
You're absolutely bizarre.
1143
01:07:25,041 --> 01:07:27,460
Mr. Paris, would you
lift me out of the tub?
1144
01:07:27,585 --> 01:07:28,795
Lift you out of the tub?
1145
01:07:28,878 --> 01:07:32,298
Yes, sir. If you could please try.
Til stay just like this.
1146
01:07:33,800 --> 01:07:35,051
Well, I can try, yes.
1147
01:07:35,134 --> 01:07:37,971
Thank you very much. Just try,
and I'll stay just like this.
1148
01:07:40,807 --> 01:07:42,058
Let's see.
1149
01:07:45,103 --> 01:07:47,647
I can't get any leverage.
Wait.
1150
01:07:54,904 --> 01:07:56,573
I can't.
It must be the angle I have.
1151
01:07:56,656 --> 01:07:59,826
That's right, sir.
That is perfectly right.
1152
01:07:59,951 --> 01:08:02,495
And you'll notice, sir,
that I'm perfectly dry.
1153
01:08:02,620 --> 01:08:05,248
I'm not even slippery.
I mean, I have my clothes on.
1154
01:08:05,373 --> 01:08:07,625
And you still could not
lift me out of the tub.
1155
01:08:07,709 --> 01:08:08,918
Uh, Officer?
1156
01:08:09,002 --> 01:08:11,379
No, I'll do that in a moment.
1157
01:08:15,550 --> 01:08:18,303
Do you intend to demonstrate drowning
yourself for us, Lieutenant?
1158
01:08:18,386 --> 01:08:21,055
Uh, no, sir, but I think
I can demonstrate...
1159
01:08:21,180 --> 01:08:23,474
is that your uncle could have died
from an electrical shock...
1160
01:08:23,558 --> 01:08:26,227
without showing any marks
or burns or anything like that.
1161
01:08:26,352 --> 01:08:27,395
Now...
1162
01:08:29,397 --> 01:08:30,898
let's see, uh...
1163
01:08:31,107 --> 01:08:33,776
Officer, could you turn off
that water, please?
1164
01:08:34,986 --> 01:08:36,821
You see,
I'm not exactly sure...
1165
01:08:36,904 --> 01:08:39,282
I think everybody should
stand back for a moment.
1166
01:08:39,907 --> 01:08:42,702
I'm not overly expert
at electrical equipment.
1167
01:08:44,412 --> 01:08:45,580
Oh.
1168
01:08:46,372 --> 01:08:47,415
All right.
1169
01:08:48,583 --> 01:08:49,626
Now,
1170
01:08:50,543 --> 01:08:53,171
suppose Mr. Paris was
in that bathtub there,
1171
01:08:53,254 --> 01:08:55,048
and somebody came walking in.
1172
01:08:55,131 --> 01:08:57,467
Officer, would you turn on
that light, please?
1173
01:09:00,720 --> 01:09:03,848
Are you suggesting that someone
just sauntered into the bathroom,
1174
01:09:03,931 --> 01:09:05,391
carrying an electric mixer?
1175
01:09:05,516 --> 01:09:07,226
Well, I'm just using this mixer.
1176
01:09:07,310 --> 01:09:09,729
I mean, anything electrical
is what I'm trying to show.
1177
01:09:09,854 --> 01:09:12,065
Now, here we go.
1178
01:09:17,403 --> 01:09:18,905
Cannot supersede...
1179
01:09:21,783 --> 01:09:22,784
Ohh!
1180
01:09:22,909 --> 01:09:26,079
Very quickly now.
We should all go very quickly now.
1181
01:09:29,082 --> 01:09:31,584
Left. Bear left.
1182
01:09:35,254 --> 01:09:36,923
This is a pretty old house
here, as you know,
1183
01:09:37,048 --> 01:09:39,884
and when they have those old
type fuses, the screw-in kind...
1184
01:09:39,967 --> 01:09:41,177
Right here.
1185
01:09:43,596 --> 01:09:44,680
Lieutenant?
1186
01:09:47,266 --> 01:09:49,602
Yes, sir. Just bear with me
for a moment, will you?
1187
01:09:52,063 --> 01:09:53,189
All right, Lou.
1188
01:09:59,487 --> 01:10:01,614
Sixty-seven seconds, exactly.
1189
01:10:01,697 --> 01:10:03,491
Fascinating. I didn't know that.
1190
01:10:03,616 --> 01:10:06,869
Oh, yes, sir. Yes, Mr. Paris.
I think you did know that.
1191
01:10:07,787 --> 01:10:08,454
Know what?
1192
01:10:08,538 --> 01:10:09,789
Well, you see, sir...
1193
01:10:11,124 --> 01:10:12,708
You know what bothered me?
1194
01:10:13,292 --> 01:10:15,461
Right from the beginning,
it bothered me.
1195
01:10:15,628 --> 01:10:17,296
How the murderer
got into the house...
1196
01:10:17,380 --> 01:10:20,091
after Mrs. Peck switched on
the burglar alarm.
1197
01:10:20,341 --> 01:10:22,927
Someone was here shortly before
the, uh,
1198
01:10:23,219 --> 01:10:24,971
incident, as I recall, Lieutenant.
1199
01:10:25,096 --> 01:10:28,307
Come off it, Norman. I said I left
the house, and I left the house.
1200
01:10:28,433 --> 01:10:30,101
Mrs. Peck saw me.
1201
01:10:30,184 --> 01:10:33,312
It would have been necessary
for someone to let the murderer in.
1202
01:10:33,604 --> 01:10:37,316
Somebody already in the house
who could turn off the burglar alarm.
1203
01:10:37,400 --> 01:10:38,818
That lets me off, I guess, huh?
1204
01:10:38,901 --> 01:10:40,862
I'm afraid not, Mr. Paris.
1205
01:10:41,404 --> 01:10:43,197
Instead of leaving the house,
you stayed around...
1206
01:10:43,322 --> 01:10:46,576
and turned off the burglar alarm
at the right moment.
1207
01:10:47,869 --> 01:10:51,789
Mrs. Peck, did you or did you not
see me drive out of here,
1208
01:10:51,873 --> 01:10:53,583
wave good-bye, honk my horn...
1209
01:10:53,666 --> 01:10:56,836
No, sir. She didn't see you.
She saw him.
1210
01:11:00,006 --> 01:11:03,426
I think you had on the same clothes
as your brother, Mr. Paris.
1211
01:11:03,593 --> 01:11:05,887
I think it was you that drove out
and then came back later...
1212
01:11:06,012 --> 01:11:07,221
when your brother let you in.
1213
01:11:07,430 --> 01:11:08,389
Are you nuts?
1214
01:11:08,514 --> 01:11:10,433
I resent defamation, Lieutenant.
1215
01:11:10,600 --> 01:11:14,145
You said you two never talked,
except about that agreement.
1216
01:11:14,228 --> 01:11:17,315
I guess you had to say that in order
to keep the guessing game going.
1217
01:11:17,398 --> 01:11:19,525
But you know?
That's what nailed you down.
1218
01:11:19,734 --> 01:11:21,861
I called the telephone company.
1219
01:11:22,653 --> 01:11:26,824
They told me that you two have talked
maybe 20 times in the last 10 days.
1220
01:11:27,450 --> 01:11:30,411
You're saying
they killed their uncle?
1221
01:11:30,536 --> 01:11:32,371
These boys wouldn't do
such a thing!
1222
01:11:32,455 --> 01:11:33,456
I'm sorry, Mrs. Peck,
1223
01:11:33,539 --> 01:11:37,835
but I think this time
they needed each other so much...
1224
01:11:37,919 --> 01:11:39,962
that they both
did something very bad.
1225
01:11:40,755 --> 01:11:44,175
See? Sixty-seven seconds.
Sixty-seven.
1226
01:11:44,425 --> 01:11:47,595
Took us 67 seconds to get down here
and replace that fuse.
1227
01:11:48,137 --> 01:11:51,224
But Mrs. Peck's television set
was only out for 15 seconds.
1228
01:11:54,560 --> 01:11:57,230
There had to be somebody else
waiting down here...
1229
01:11:57,355 --> 01:11:59,232
to replace that fuse.
1230
01:12:05,404 --> 01:12:08,157
And somebody had to help lift
the body out of the bathtub.
1231
01:12:08,241 --> 01:12:10,243
One man couldn't have
done that alone...
1232
01:12:10,535 --> 01:12:12,620
and then dried him off
with that wet towel I found,
1233
01:12:12,745 --> 01:12:13,996
then put him in a sweat suit,
1234
01:12:14,080 --> 01:12:15,414
let alone carry him down the stairs.
1235
01:12:15,540 --> 01:12:16,749
Stop it!
1236
01:12:17,291 --> 01:12:18,793
It's all right, Mrs. Peck.
1237
01:12:25,007 --> 01:12:27,969
What's done is done.
What's obvious is obvious.
1238
01:12:28,094 --> 01:12:29,595
I'm just sorry that
you had to be here...
1239
01:12:29,720 --> 01:12:30,680
Shut up!
1240
01:12:35,601 --> 01:12:36,978
Okay, gents.
97496
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