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1
00:00:36,702 --> 00:00:37,835
What the-
2
00:00:39,505 --> 00:00:40,671
Doug, wake up.
3
00:00:40,672 --> 00:00:42,207
Mm.
4
00:00:42,208 --> 00:00:44,175
Doug, wake up. Something's
going on. Mm. Mm.
5
00:00:44,176 --> 00:00:45,377
Wake up.
6
00:00:45,378 --> 00:00:46,378
Honey.
Mm.
7
00:00:46,379 --> 00:00:48,280
Wake- Doug.
8
00:00:48,281 --> 00:00:49,781
Doug, stop!
9
00:00:51,850 --> 00:00:53,718
There's red flashing
lights outside.
10
00:00:53,719 --> 00:00:55,153
It's probably
a dance party.
11
00:00:56,488 --> 00:00:58,523
Go back to sleep.
No.
12
00:01:00,126 --> 00:01:03,128
No, there's an ambulance
across the street.
13
00:01:03,129 --> 00:01:04,779
Some of the neighbors
are coming out.
14
00:01:04,780 --> 00:01:06,331
Oh, I see the Ferrignos.
15
00:01:06,332 --> 00:01:08,300
Come on. Let's go see
what's going on.
16
00:01:08,301 --> 00:01:10,969
All right. You go.
I'll guard the bedroom.
17
00:01:10,970 --> 00:01:14,205
You want to send
your wife outside alone
18
00:01:14,206 --> 00:01:15,506
at 3:00 in the morning?
19
00:01:15,507 --> 00:01:16,808
Okay. You've got
an ambulance
20
00:01:16,809 --> 00:01:18,342
and the Incredible Hulk
out there.
21
00:01:18,343 --> 00:01:19,510
I think you'll be okay.
22
00:01:19,511 --> 00:01:22,296
Come on. Come on!
Stop it.
23
00:01:29,638 --> 00:01:31,206
Hey, Lou.
24
00:01:31,207 --> 00:01:33,074
Hey, guys.
25
00:01:33,075 --> 00:01:34,092
What's going on?
26
00:01:34,093 --> 00:01:35,410
Paul died.
27
00:01:35,411 --> 00:01:36,795
Oh, my God!
Paul died?
28
00:01:36,796 --> 00:01:38,279
That's terrible.
29
00:01:38,280 --> 00:01:40,665
Who was that again?
30
00:01:40,666 --> 00:01:43,468
He lived across
the street there.
31
00:01:43,469 --> 00:01:45,170
Oh. Was he the guy
that always walks
32
00:01:45,171 --> 00:01:46,972
up and down the block
barefoot?
33
00:01:46,973 --> 00:01:48,173
No, that's me.
34
00:01:50,960 --> 00:01:52,761
So, uh,
was it sudden?
35
00:01:52,762 --> 00:01:54,629
Not really. He'd been
sick for a while.
36
00:01:54,630 --> 00:01:56,014
You know what?
37
00:01:56,015 --> 00:01:58,416
I'm gonna put on some
coffee for everyone.
38
00:01:58,417 --> 00:02:00,017
All right, man.
Catch you later.
39
00:02:02,054 --> 00:02:03,521
"Catch you later?"
40
00:02:05,324 --> 00:02:07,692
A man just died.
41
00:02:07,693 --> 00:02:08,793
Hey, life goes on,
44
00:02:16,252 --> 00:02:18,703
What? No.
Why?
45
00:02:18,704 --> 00:02:20,672
We're not gonna be the first
neighbors to go in.
46
00:02:20,673 --> 00:02:21,806
It's tacky.
Hm.
47
00:02:23,359 --> 00:02:25,060
Sorry, but it's a little
nippy out here,
48
00:02:25,061 --> 00:02:27,062
if you know what I mean,
and I think that you do.
49
00:02:43,128 --> 00:02:44,962
Douglas. Is this
a good time
50
00:02:44,963 --> 00:02:47,331
to bring you up to speed
on my psoriasis?
51
00:02:50,969 --> 00:02:53,505
You know, I was hoping
you'd ask me that.
52
00:02:53,506 --> 00:02:54,956
It's a great time.
53
00:02:54,957 --> 00:02:57,075
Well, she's
headed south.
54
00:02:57,076 --> 00:02:59,844
What do you
suggest I do?
55
00:02:59,845 --> 00:03:01,880
Arthur,
I'm not a doctor.
56
00:03:01,881 --> 00:03:03,581
Tell me something
I don't know.
57
00:03:03,582 --> 00:03:05,250
A doctor.
That's rich.
58
00:03:05,251 --> 00:03:06,751
Okay. You know what?
59
00:03:06,752 --> 00:03:09,687
I'll give you $50
if you go back downstairs.
60
00:03:09,688 --> 00:03:10,855
If I want
your money,
61
00:03:10,856 --> 00:03:12,423
I'll take it while
you're sleeping.
62
00:03:12,424 --> 00:03:13,557
Just give me
the crossword.
63
00:03:15,228 --> 00:03:17,429
Hey, Dad.
How's it going?
64
00:03:17,430 --> 00:03:19,130
Not so good.
I may have to borrow
65
00:03:19,131 --> 00:03:20,898
one of
your knitting needles.
66
00:03:20,899 --> 00:03:23,168
Well, I don't know
what you need it for,
67
00:03:23,169 --> 00:03:24,969
but throw it out
when you're done.
68
00:03:27,339 --> 00:03:28,673
Good call on that one.
69
00:03:28,674 --> 00:03:30,908
Yeah. Listen. I had
a thought. No biggie.
70
00:03:30,909 --> 00:03:32,777
I just wanted
to run it by you.
71
00:03:32,778 --> 00:03:34,412
Let's buy
the dead guy's house.
72
00:03:36,649 --> 00:03:39,034
But I like this house.
73
00:03:39,035 --> 00:03:40,551
No. look. I don't
want us to move there.
74
00:03:40,552 --> 00:03:41,819
I want us to buy it
75
00:03:41,820 --> 00:03:43,454
before it goes
on the market,
76
00:03:43,455 --> 00:03:45,390
and then we sell it
real fast for a big profit.
77
00:03:45,391 --> 00:03:46,424
We flip it.
78
00:03:48,544 --> 00:03:50,311
We- I know nothing
about that stuff.
79
00:03:50,312 --> 00:03:53,014
Yeah, but I do. This is
how my boss got started.
80
00:03:53,015 --> 00:03:54,683
You think he just
fell into some big
81
00:03:54,684 --> 00:03:57,218
billion-dollar
real estate company?
82
00:03:57,219 --> 00:03:59,954
Well, actually, he did.
But his father...
83
00:03:59,955 --> 00:04:02,423
His father started
with just one house.
84
00:04:02,424 --> 00:04:03,692
Okay. So let him buy it.
85
00:04:03,693 --> 00:04:06,978
No, come on, listen.
I talked to Lou,
86
00:04:06,979 --> 00:04:08,730
and he said the guy's
only relative
87
00:04:08,731 --> 00:04:11,398
is some 80-year-old
Cousin Eloise who lives upstate.
88
00:04:11,399 --> 00:04:13,401
She doesn't know what houses
go for around here.
89
00:04:13,402 --> 00:04:15,036
We can get the house
for a steal.
90
00:04:15,037 --> 00:04:17,305
So you- Now you want to
take advantage of an old lady?
91
00:04:19,208 --> 00:04:20,942
And help her
to move on.
92
00:04:20,943 --> 00:04:22,159
I don't know.
93
00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:24,195
Something about this
just doesn't sound right.
94
00:04:24,196 --> 00:04:25,380
Doesn't sound right.
95
00:04:25,381 --> 00:04:27,498
How does "speedboat"
sound? That sound right?
96
00:04:33,038 --> 00:04:36,007
I'm listening.
Okay.
97
00:04:36,008 --> 00:04:38,092
Well, if we get this house,
we can have the money.
98
00:04:38,093 --> 00:04:40,178
You could finally
get your boat.
99
00:04:40,179 --> 00:04:42,247
Really? Could I name it
the Sara Lee?
100
00:04:43,382 --> 00:04:44,682
Doug-
101
00:04:44,683 --> 00:04:46,901
Look, Carrie's a nice name,
but not for a boat, okay?
102
00:04:46,902 --> 00:04:49,637
I mean, "Oh, if you really
loved me, you'd name it Carrie. "
103
00:04:49,638 --> 00:04:51,139
Well, I'm not gonna,
so get over it.
104
00:04:52,808 --> 00:04:54,408
Wow.
105
00:04:54,409 --> 00:04:58,212
Sorry. In my head I've
had this fight a lot.
106
00:05:05,004 --> 00:05:07,405
Hey, Arturo.
Is Doug home yet?
107
00:05:07,406 --> 00:05:09,841
Afraid not.
Oh. What's that for?
108
00:05:09,842 --> 00:05:11,042
I signed up
for a drug trial,
109
00:05:11,043 --> 00:05:13,311
but I can't seem to
read the small print.
110
00:05:13,312 --> 00:05:15,347
How sharp are
those beady eyes?
111
00:05:15,348 --> 00:05:17,248
20/20.
112
00:05:17,249 --> 00:05:20,552
Let's see. Oh. "Take
one pill each morning
113
00:05:20,553 --> 00:05:22,721
for a period
of 3 weeks. "
114
00:05:22,722 --> 00:05:24,856
Sounds simple enough.
Nope, hang on.
115
00:05:24,857 --> 00:05:26,874
"Some users may
experience nausea,
116
00:05:26,875 --> 00:05:29,043
dry mouth, cramping-"
117
00:05:29,044 --> 00:05:31,128
Hold on. They didn't say
anything about cramping
118
00:05:31,129 --> 00:05:32,513
in their adorable
cartoon ad.
119
00:05:32,514 --> 00:05:35,667
Well... most drugs
have side effects.
120
00:05:35,668 --> 00:05:38,770
I did a trial one time for
a peanut allergy medication.
121
00:05:38,771 --> 00:05:40,538
Oh, my God, my windpipe
closed up.
122
00:05:40,539 --> 00:05:42,674
They had to rush me
to the emergency room.
123
00:05:42,675 --> 00:05:45,009
They said if I'd gotten there
10 minutes later...
124
00:05:45,010 --> 00:05:46,628
I'd be dead.
125
00:05:46,629 --> 00:05:48,830
We're talking about me now. Oh, sorry.
126
00:05:48,831 --> 00:05:50,048
Um...
127
00:05:50,049 --> 00:05:52,250
I wish I could know for sure
about these side effects
128
00:05:52,251 --> 00:05:54,152
before I start
popping pills.
129
00:05:54,153 --> 00:05:55,804
What are you taking
them for anyway?
130
00:05:55,805 --> 00:05:58,155
Uh, psoriasis.
Way downtown.
131
00:05:58,156 --> 00:05:59,290
Oh, man.
132
00:06:01,526 --> 00:06:03,161
That's...
133
00:06:03,162 --> 00:06:04,796
That's rough.
Heh-heh.
134
00:06:04,797 --> 00:06:06,765
You know, I think my mom
has the same thing.
135
00:06:06,766 --> 00:06:10,101
Hmm. Is that so?
136
00:06:10,102 --> 00:06:12,003
You know, when Spence
said you wanted to see me,
137
00:06:12,004 --> 00:06:13,855
I was a little
surprised.
138
00:06:13,856 --> 00:06:17,225
You never invited me out
for coffee before.
139
00:06:17,226 --> 00:06:18,660
Better late
than never.
140
00:06:21,063 --> 00:06:22,346
No, no! This one
is yours.
141
00:06:22,347 --> 00:06:24,182
Oh.
142
00:06:24,183 --> 00:06:25,950
Apropos of nothing,
you're not allergic
143
00:06:25,951 --> 00:06:27,785
to potassium
benzoate, are you?
144
00:06:27,786 --> 00:06:30,054
I don't think so.
145
00:06:30,055 --> 00:06:31,438
Then bottoms up.
146
00:06:51,377 --> 00:06:53,177
Hey, guys.
Glad you could make it.
147
00:06:53,178 --> 00:06:54,812
Hey. Oh. Well, when you told me
148
00:06:54,813 --> 00:06:56,113
there was gonna
be a memorial
149
00:06:56,114 --> 00:06:57,815
right here
in this house,
150
00:06:57,816 --> 00:07:00,485
I told Doug, "We just
have to go. "
151
00:07:02,321 --> 00:07:03,988
Those were
her exact words.
152
00:07:06,125 --> 00:07:08,042
Oh, it's so sad to think
that he's not gonna sit
153
00:07:08,043 --> 00:07:10,712
in front of
this fireplace again.
154
00:07:10,713 --> 00:07:11,762
Does it work?
155
00:07:12,965 --> 00:07:14,215
I think so.
156
00:07:16,218 --> 00:07:18,019
A working
fireplace.
157
00:07:18,020 --> 00:07:19,520
You know how big
that is?
158
00:07:19,521 --> 00:07:20,687
Oh, my God.
159
00:07:20,688 --> 00:07:22,689
I think I feel
hardwood floors under here.
160
00:07:22,690 --> 00:07:23,674
Okay, okay.
You know what?
161
00:07:23,675 --> 00:07:25,676
You might want to bring down
the happy a little.
162
00:07:25,677 --> 00:07:27,762
Okay. All right.
163
00:07:27,763 --> 00:07:30,064
Ahem.
164
00:07:30,065 --> 00:07:31,465
Hello.
Oh.
165
00:07:31,466 --> 00:07:33,584
I'm Eloise.
Hi.
166
00:07:33,585 --> 00:07:36,420
Oh, hi. Doug and
Carrie Heffernan.
167
00:07:36,421 --> 00:07:38,940
Oh. Were you
friends of Paul?
168
00:07:41,143 --> 00:07:43,478
Yeah. We live
across the street.
169
00:07:43,479 --> 00:07:45,045
From Paul.
170
00:07:45,046 --> 00:07:48,082
So sorry
about your loss.
171
00:07:48,083 --> 00:07:49,383
Heffernan.
172
00:07:49,384 --> 00:07:52,519
Oh, you left
a lovely note.
173
00:07:52,520 --> 00:07:54,038
Thank you.
174
00:07:54,039 --> 00:07:55,689
No. Thank you
for having
175
00:07:55,690 --> 00:07:58,426
such a wonderful,
wonderful cousin.
176
00:07:58,427 --> 00:07:59,443
Yes.
177
00:07:59,444 --> 00:08:01,579
With a wonderful,
wonderful house.
178
00:08:03,048 --> 00:08:05,516
Ah. What's to become
of this house?
179
00:08:07,069 --> 00:08:09,019
Seriously, Eloise,
what's to become of it?
180
00:08:09,020 --> 00:08:10,070
Ahem.
181
00:08:10,071 --> 00:08:11,589
Pardon me?
182
00:08:11,590 --> 00:08:13,207
Well, I don't know
if you're gonna keep it,
183
00:08:13,208 --> 00:08:15,677
or, I don't know,
sell it?
184
00:08:15,678 --> 00:08:16,977
Whatever
you decide to do,
185
00:08:16,978 --> 00:08:18,979
we just want you to know
that we're here for you.
186
00:08:18,980 --> 00:08:20,197
Tsk.
187
00:08:20,198 --> 00:08:21,666
Although you may have
a little trouble
188
00:08:21,667 --> 00:08:22,967
unloading it
with that smell.
189
00:08:22,968 --> 00:08:24,969
Woo!
190
00:08:24,970 --> 00:08:27,572
Did he die
in this room or what?
191
00:08:27,573 --> 00:08:29,774
Rank.
192
00:08:33,845 --> 00:08:36,647
Thank you very much
for coming. Yeah. Yeah.
193
00:08:36,648 --> 00:08:37,998
Excuse me.
194
00:08:37,999 --> 00:08:38,933
Sure.
195
00:08:40,769 --> 00:08:43,204
What the hell
was that?
196
00:08:43,205 --> 00:08:45,506
What? I was trying to
help out. I was being bad cop.
197
00:08:45,507 --> 00:08:47,225
Bad cop? There's
no cop at all.
198
00:08:47,226 --> 00:08:48,509
Well, you gotta
tell me that stuff.
199
00:08:51,279 --> 00:08:52,546
Everyone,
200
00:08:52,547 --> 00:08:54,231
if I could
have your attention.
201
00:08:54,232 --> 00:08:56,400
I thought it would be nice
if we went around the room
202
00:08:56,401 --> 00:08:58,002
and shared
some memories of Paul.
203
00:08:59,838 --> 00:09:02,941
Bobby. Why don't
you begin?
204
00:09:02,942 --> 00:09:04,542
Sure, I'd-
I'd love to.
205
00:09:05,878 --> 00:09:08,512
The thing I remember
most about Paul is
206
00:09:08,513 --> 00:09:10,715
the way he always had
time for everybody.
207
00:09:10,716 --> 00:09:12,583
I mean, he showed
my son
208
00:09:12,584 --> 00:09:13,951
how to build
model airplanes,
209
00:09:13,952 --> 00:09:15,519
and he'd tell stories
210
00:09:15,520 --> 00:09:18,356
of how he flew
in World War II.
211
00:09:18,357 --> 00:09:20,741
I'd like to think he's
somewhere up there
212
00:09:20,742 --> 00:09:22,043
flying right now.
213
00:09:22,044 --> 00:09:23,577
Aw!
214
00:09:26,881 --> 00:09:28,850
Doug?
215
00:09:28,851 --> 00:09:30,134
Oh, we're going
counterclockwise?
216
00:09:31,937 --> 00:09:34,472
I- I think that's
bad luck. I really do.
217
00:09:34,473 --> 00:09:37,108
It's okay, Doug.
Go ahead.
218
00:09:37,109 --> 00:09:38,276
Okay.
219
00:09:38,277 --> 00:09:40,945
All right,
uh...
220
00:09:40,946 --> 00:09:41,879
Paul.
221
00:09:43,581 --> 00:09:46,918
Paul. What can I say
about my man Paul?
222
00:09:50,322 --> 00:09:52,773
He, uh, did love
his model planes.
223
00:09:52,774 --> 00:09:54,575
Yeah, he loved them.
224
00:09:54,576 --> 00:09:56,243
Loved them a lot.
225
00:09:58,013 --> 00:09:59,947
But not just, uh,
model planes.
226
00:09:59,948 --> 00:10:01,649
He loved...
227
00:10:01,650 --> 00:10:03,167
m- model cars.
228
00:10:03,168 --> 00:10:05,019
Model boats.
229
00:10:06,171 --> 00:10:08,205
All... kinds of models.
230
00:10:10,342 --> 00:10:11,642
He dated models.
231
00:10:13,928 --> 00:10:15,446
Yeah. I know what
you're thinking.
232
00:10:15,447 --> 00:10:18,599
You know, "He's 100.
Why are models dating him?"
233
00:10:18,600 --> 00:10:21,335
I'm gonna tell you why.
Uh, it's because, uh,
234
00:10:21,336 --> 00:10:22,603
he respected them.
235
00:10:22,604 --> 00:10:24,972
And they sensed that...
236
00:10:24,973 --> 00:10:28,642
uh, because models have
unbelievable instincts.
237
00:10:30,795 --> 00:10:32,997
And, yes, it ended
badly sometimes.
238
00:10:32,998 --> 00:10:33,914
But he did not hit them.
239
00:10:35,133 --> 00:10:36,167
It is not true.
240
00:10:36,168 --> 00:10:38,586
It is never- It was
never- Never true!
241
00:10:40,021 --> 00:10:41,689
Bottom line is, uh,
ahem...
242
00:10:41,690 --> 00:10:43,157
Good neighbor...
243
00:10:43,158 --> 00:10:45,626
Dated models,
244
00:10:45,627 --> 00:10:47,361
Loved Bobby's son.
245
00:10:49,364 --> 00:10:50,698
You're up.
246
00:10:57,356 --> 00:11:01,225
Arthur. I've so
been enjoying
247
00:11:01,226 --> 00:11:03,561
our little
get-togethers here. Heh.
248
00:11:04,963 --> 00:11:06,314
Although...
249
00:11:06,315 --> 00:11:08,833
does their coffee
taste bitter to you?
250
00:11:10,419 --> 00:11:12,370
Sitting across from you,
251
00:11:12,371 --> 00:11:14,322
I don't even notice.
252
00:11:14,323 --> 00:11:15,055
Oh. Oh-ho!
253
00:11:16,374 --> 00:11:19,043
So... anything new?
254
00:11:19,044 --> 00:11:21,111
Mm, same old, same old.
How about you?
255
00:11:21,112 --> 00:11:23,180
Any cramps, dry heaving?
256
00:11:24,516 --> 00:11:27,067
What? No. No.
257
00:11:27,068 --> 00:11:28,920
Why would you ask that?
258
00:11:28,921 --> 00:11:31,121
Well, I just want to know
everything there is to know
259
00:11:31,122 --> 00:11:33,357
about Veronica Olchin. Oh.
260
00:11:33,358 --> 00:11:35,826
Does she like
silk sheets or satin?
261
00:11:35,827 --> 00:11:39,397
Do you like eggs sunny-side
up or scrambled? Oh.
262
00:11:39,398 --> 00:11:41,465
Do you have swelling
263
00:11:41,466 --> 00:11:43,300
in one or both of
your breasts?
264
00:11:44,886 --> 00:11:46,854
Oh, Arthur.
265
00:11:46,855 --> 00:11:49,056
This is a family place.
266
00:11:51,309 --> 00:11:52,509
Seriously.
267
00:11:59,785 --> 00:12:01,335
Hello?
268
00:12:01,336 --> 00:12:02,403
Hey, honey.
I just pulled up
269
00:12:02,404 --> 00:12:03,837
the comps
for the neighborhood.
270
00:12:03,838 --> 00:12:06,541
If we get this house, we are
gonna make a killing.
271
00:12:06,542 --> 00:12:08,442
Sweet. 'Cause I've been
boat shopping,
272
00:12:08,443 --> 00:12:11,144
and they be's
a lot of money.
273
00:12:11,145 --> 00:12:12,463
Well, we's gonna have
a lot of money.
274
00:12:13,548 --> 00:12:15,666
Wait a minute.
What?
275
00:12:15,667 --> 00:12:17,735
What's Lou doing
over at Paul's?
276
00:12:17,736 --> 00:12:18,803
He's-
277
00:12:18,804 --> 00:12:20,221
He's watering
their flowers.
278
00:12:20,222 --> 00:12:21,689
Why would he be
doing that?
279
00:12:21,690 --> 00:12:23,707
Oh, my God. I bet you
he's trying
280
00:12:23,708 --> 00:12:25,276
to buy the house
and then flip it too.
281
00:12:25,277 --> 00:12:27,645
What? No, come on.
He's not that savvy.
282
00:12:27,646 --> 00:12:29,280
Not that savvy?
He's a giant.
283
00:12:29,281 --> 00:12:30,615
With a giant
brain to match.
284
00:12:32,117 --> 00:12:33,568
Oh. Maybe
you're right.
285
00:12:33,569 --> 00:12:35,502
Remember he was walking
around the memorial
286
00:12:35,503 --> 00:12:36,771
like he owned
the place.
287
00:12:36,772 --> 00:12:39,490
Go over there and find out
what his game is.
288
00:12:39,491 --> 00:12:41,659
Oh. I'm going.
I'm going right now.
289
00:12:46,915 --> 00:12:49,383
Hey, Lou.
Hey, Doug.
290
00:12:49,384 --> 00:12:52,052
What you doing? Just
watering Paul's flowers.
291
00:12:52,053 --> 00:12:53,720
Oh, well, isn't
that neighborly?
292
00:12:53,721 --> 00:12:56,657
It's just, uh, Paul
really loved his garden.
293
00:12:56,658 --> 00:12:58,926
I thought maybe someone
should look after it.
294
00:12:58,927 --> 00:12:59,893
Aww.
295
00:12:59,894 --> 00:13:02,195
You listen
and you listen good.
296
00:13:02,196 --> 00:13:03,664
Don't go up
against us
297
00:13:03,665 --> 00:13:05,232
because you'll lose
every time.
298
00:13:11,556 --> 00:13:12,723
Hey.
299
00:13:12,724 --> 00:13:13,774
Where have you been?
300
00:13:13,775 --> 00:13:15,476
Lou's probably got
the house by now.
301
00:13:15,477 --> 00:13:16,994
Oh, probably not
'cause...
302
00:13:16,995 --> 00:13:17,995
we got it!
303
00:13:17,996 --> 00:13:19,262
What?
304
00:13:19,263 --> 00:13:21,532
Yes, that's right. After
we hung up, I called Eloise.
305
00:13:21,533 --> 00:13:23,233
I made her an offer,
and she accepted it.
306
00:13:23,234 --> 00:13:24,535
We got the house.
307
00:13:24,536 --> 00:13:26,037
We got the house.
We got the house.
308
00:13:26,038 --> 00:13:27,371
Come on.
309
00:13:31,226 --> 00:13:32,859
You know what,
honey?
310
00:13:32,860 --> 00:13:35,629
This is the start of
a whole new life for us.
311
00:13:35,630 --> 00:13:37,864
Yeah. Now let's
go get
312
00:13:37,865 --> 00:13:39,416
that giant freak
off our property.
313
00:13:45,156 --> 00:13:47,358
Hey.
Hey, there she is!
314
00:13:47,359 --> 00:13:48,659
Yeah.
All right. Mwah!
315
00:13:48,660 --> 00:13:49,860
Oh, look at
this place.
316
00:13:49,861 --> 00:13:51,262
Who wouldn't
want to buy it? Huh?
317
00:13:51,263 --> 00:13:52,613
I dare you
to tell me.
318
00:13:52,614 --> 00:13:54,414
I cannot tell you.
I lose the dare.
319
00:13:54,415 --> 00:13:55,783
Mm-hm.
That's right.
320
00:13:55,784 --> 00:13:57,485
So did anybody come by
and look at it yet?
321
00:13:57,486 --> 00:13:58,835
Uh, no.
322
00:13:58,836 --> 00:14:02,222
No. That's okay!
It's totally okay.
323
00:14:02,223 --> 00:14:03,958
Nobody sells a house
after the first 2 weeks.
324
00:14:03,959 --> 00:14:05,910
No. Nobody. I mean,
well, people do,
325
00:14:05,911 --> 00:14:07,828
but that's ok!
326
00:14:07,829 --> 00:14:08,779
It's great.
Yeah.
327
00:14:08,780 --> 00:14:10,081
It's great.
328
00:14:10,082 --> 00:14:12,399
By the way, I, uh,
talked to the electrician,
329
00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:14,502
and he said
to fix the wiring
330
00:14:14,503 --> 00:14:15,536
and patch up
the hole,
331
00:14:15,537 --> 00:14:17,805
it's gonna run us
$1800.
332
00:14:17,806 --> 00:14:18,923
Wow. That's weird
because
333
00:14:18,924 --> 00:14:20,124
I talked to
the plumber,
334
00:14:20,125 --> 00:14:21,993
and he said the leak
in the upstairs bathroom
335
00:14:21,994 --> 00:14:23,761
is gonna run us
1800 too.
336
00:14:23,762 --> 00:14:24,562
Really?
Yeah.
337
00:14:24,563 --> 00:14:26,430
Well, that's a"coinky-dink. "
338
00:14:26,431 --> 00:14:28,616
Spooky.
339
00:14:28,617 --> 00:14:30,467
Mm.
Mwah!
340
00:14:30,468 --> 00:14:31,601
All right.
341
00:14:33,238 --> 00:14:35,172
We're never gonna sell
this place, are we?
342
00:14:35,173 --> 00:14:36,540
Not ever.
343
00:14:36,541 --> 00:14:38,376
I knew it! I just
knew you-
344
00:14:38,377 --> 00:14:39,960
It was a big mistake
with the whole,
345
00:14:39,961 --> 00:14:41,728
"We'll just flip it!
We'll flip it!"
346
00:14:41,729 --> 00:14:43,364
What? That's the way
my boss got rich.
347
00:14:43,365 --> 00:14:44,565
Well, here's
the difference.
348
00:14:44,566 --> 00:14:46,467
He's smart.
You're dumb as ass!
349
00:14:48,670 --> 00:14:49,603
Well, you know what?
350
00:14:49,604 --> 00:14:51,238
This is all
your fault really.
351
00:14:51,239 --> 00:14:52,173
What?!
Yeah, that's right.
352
00:14:52,174 --> 00:14:53,958
You rushed me into
making an offer with,
353
00:14:53,959 --> 00:14:55,209
"Lou's watering
the plants.
354
00:14:55,210 --> 00:14:57,545
He's gonna buy the house.
He's got a big brain. "
355
00:14:57,546 --> 00:14:58,596
Do not try to
pin this all on me.
356
00:14:58,597 --> 00:15:00,047
This is all
your evil plan.
357
00:15:00,048 --> 00:15:01,148
Oh, it's just
business, Doug.
358
00:15:01,149 --> 00:15:03,617
Oh. You know, actually, we got
exactly what we deserved.
359
00:15:03,618 --> 00:15:05,318
We pretended to care
about some dead guy
360
00:15:05,319 --> 00:15:06,587
whose name we don't
even know.
361
00:15:06,588 --> 00:15:07,955
I still don't
even know it!
362
00:15:07,956 --> 00:15:11,225
I want to say Pete,
but I'm pretty sure I'm wrong.
363
00:15:11,226 --> 00:15:13,977
Okay. Lower your voice.
The neighbors will hear us.
364
00:15:13,978 --> 00:15:15,946
We are the neighbors!
365
00:15:22,154 --> 00:15:23,620
By the way,
you promised me a boat.
366
00:15:23,621 --> 00:15:25,122
I'm getting my boat.
367
00:15:25,123 --> 00:15:26,507
Oh, no, you're not.
Oh, yes, I am.
368
00:15:26,508 --> 00:15:27,824
And I'm naming it
after you:
369
00:15:27,825 --> 00:15:29,026
The Dumb As Ass.
370
00:15:31,413 --> 00:15:33,431
Well, let me tell
you something,
371
00:15:33,432 --> 00:15:34,832
Captain Sandwich.
372
00:15:34,833 --> 00:15:36,266
the only reason
why I did this
373
00:15:36,267 --> 00:15:38,168
is so we finally had
a shot at some real money.
374
00:15:38,169 --> 00:15:40,471
It's always about money
with you. You're obsessed!
375
00:15:40,472 --> 00:15:42,173
Well, maybe I wouldn't be
if I married a man
376
00:15:42,174 --> 00:15:43,740
who had one ounce
of ambition.
377
00:15:43,741 --> 00:15:46,143
Oh. Well, then, maybe you
should've married somebody else.
378
00:15:46,144 --> 00:15:47,477
Well, too late
for that now.
379
00:15:47,478 --> 00:15:49,262
No. Hey. You know,
we get divorced, huh?
380
00:15:49,263 --> 00:15:50,681
I'll divorce you
right now.
381
00:15:50,682 --> 00:15:52,949
Oh. I will divorce
the crap out of you.
382
00:15:55,971 --> 00:15:58,589
Let's jus- Let's just
regroup, okay?
383
00:15:59,658 --> 00:16:01,192
Come on.
All right.
384
00:16:01,193 --> 00:16:04,328
Now let's just fix
what we can fix
385
00:16:04,329 --> 00:16:05,629
and sell the house
for what we can,
386
00:16:05,630 --> 00:16:07,097
and just get back
387
00:16:07,098 --> 00:16:10,000
to our normal,
poverty-stricken lives.
388
00:16:11,303 --> 00:16:13,437
I would love that.
389
00:16:13,438 --> 00:16:16,173
I'm sorry for-
For what I said.
390
00:16:16,174 --> 00:16:17,608
I know you are.
391
00:16:17,609 --> 00:16:19,993
You would never
divorce me, right?
392
00:16:19,994 --> 00:16:21,078
No.
393
00:16:22,964 --> 00:16:24,014
No!
394
00:16:35,860 --> 00:16:37,427
That's it.
Finish it all.
395
00:16:39,230 --> 00:16:41,198
You know, this coffee is
396
00:16:41,199 --> 00:16:42,650
starting to grow on me.
397
00:16:42,651 --> 00:16:43,951
Mm-hm.
398
00:16:43,952 --> 00:16:45,269
Is anything else...
399
00:16:45,270 --> 00:16:47,204
growing on you?
400
00:16:47,205 --> 00:16:48,789
Ooh.
401
00:16:48,790 --> 00:16:50,457
Oh. By the way,
402
00:16:50,458 --> 00:16:51,992
I have to cancel
our date tomorrow.
403
00:16:51,993 --> 00:16:54,011
I'm going out of town.
What?
404
00:16:55,313 --> 00:16:57,697
Well, I- I'll only
be gone for a week.
405
00:16:57,698 --> 00:16:59,316
Well. A lot can
happen in a week.
406
00:16:59,317 --> 00:17:01,318
What if your hair
falls out,
407
00:17:01,319 --> 00:17:03,153
or you have
difficulty blinking?
408
00:17:03,154 --> 00:17:04,388
I- I'll never know.
409
00:17:06,007 --> 00:17:09,476
Arthur, you know, I-
I really enjoy being with you.
410
00:17:09,477 --> 00:17:13,013
But I must say, some of your
questions are awfully strange.
411
00:17:13,014 --> 00:17:15,015
You know,
you gals amaze me.
412
00:17:15,016 --> 00:17:17,818
You're always saying we men
are afraid of intimacy.
413
00:17:17,819 --> 00:17:20,087
But I ask you
for one stool sample,
414
00:17:20,088 --> 00:17:21,488
and suddenly
I'm the bad guy.
415
00:17:23,674 --> 00:17:27,078
What is going on here?
416
00:17:27,079 --> 00:17:29,029
I'm doing a drug trial. What?
417
00:17:29,030 --> 00:17:30,581
I was afraid of
the side effects,
418
00:17:30,582 --> 00:17:32,566
so I've been putting
the pills in your coffee.
419
00:17:34,753 --> 00:17:37,838
Oh, my-!
How dare you!
420
00:17:37,839 --> 00:17:40,391
How dare me?
421
00:17:40,392 --> 00:17:42,393
I've been plying you
with top-of-the-line
422
00:17:42,394 --> 00:17:43,694
experimental drugs,
423
00:17:43,695 --> 00:17:46,062
and now you're
leaving me in the lurch!
424
00:17:47,615 --> 00:17:50,634
Oh! To think I actually
thought you cared about me,
425
00:17:50,635 --> 00:17:53,737
when all the time I was
just your lab rat.
426
00:17:53,738 --> 00:17:54,688
I understand
you're upset,
427
00:17:54,689 --> 00:17:55,855
but just tell me
one thing.
428
00:17:55,856 --> 00:17:57,224
What?
429
00:17:57,225 --> 00:17:59,376
Would you say your psoriasis
is much better,
430
00:17:59,377 --> 00:18:01,578
somewhat better,
or no change at all?
431
00:18:08,019 --> 00:18:10,187
Here we have a lovely
working fireplace,
432
00:18:10,188 --> 00:18:11,955
perfect for roasting
marshmallows
433
00:18:11,956 --> 00:18:14,692
when little- Little
Michael has some sleepovers.
434
00:18:14,693 --> 00:18:15,609
It's Malik.
435
00:18:15,610 --> 00:18:16,676
Malik. Right.
436
00:18:16,677 --> 00:18:18,361
Either way,
he's a little stud.
437
00:18:18,362 --> 00:18:20,430
Good thing I'm not gonna be
his teacher when he's 13.
438
00:18:20,431 --> 00:18:22,783
You know what
I'm saying? Ha!
439
00:18:24,019 --> 00:18:25,419
You know?
Ha-ha!
440
00:18:25,420 --> 00:18:27,437
Hey! Hey, honey. This is Larry
441
00:18:27,438 --> 00:18:29,406
and Vanessa Taylor,
and their son, Malik.
442
00:18:29,407 --> 00:18:31,842
How you doing? Whoa. Don't
want to mess with this guy.
443
00:18:33,060 --> 00:18:34,512
Can we look at
the kitchen again?
444
00:18:34,513 --> 00:18:36,680
Sure. Go ahead and
take it for a test drive.
445
00:18:36,681 --> 00:18:37,515
Ah. Heh-heh!
446
00:18:40,701 --> 00:18:42,353
Honey, I think
they're interested.
447
00:18:42,354 --> 00:18:43,487
Oh, that's great.
448
00:18:43,488 --> 00:18:45,188
Oh, what about
all the, uh, wire repairs
449
00:18:45,189 --> 00:18:47,291
and the plumbing repairs? All done.
450
00:18:47,292 --> 00:18:49,309
You're kidding me.
What did it cost us?
451
00:18:49,310 --> 00:18:50,911
Not as much
as you think.
452
00:18:50,912 --> 00:18:52,579
That's great.
How much?
453
00:18:54,632 --> 00:18:56,132
Sorry, what was it?
454
00:18:56,133 --> 00:18:57,651
Seventy-five dollars.
Ahem.
455
00:18:57,652 --> 00:18:58,669
Seventy-five- It was
456
00:18:58,670 --> 00:19:00,337
supposed to cost us
like four grand.
457
00:19:00,338 --> 00:19:02,456
Who the hell
did it for 75?
458
00:19:02,457 --> 00:19:03,640
Barefoot guy.
459
00:19:05,109 --> 00:19:06,594
Barefoot guy?!
Does-?
460
00:19:06,595 --> 00:19:08,595
Did he even really
fix anything?
461
00:19:08,596 --> 00:19:10,030
Oh, fix,
not fix.
462
00:19:10,031 --> 00:19:11,148
Why do you
always gotta
463
00:19:11,149 --> 00:19:12,616
slap a label
on everything?
464
00:19:14,185 --> 00:19:15,502
Carrie, we cannot
do this.
465
00:19:15,503 --> 00:19:17,388
We are not
screwing over these people.
466
00:19:17,389 --> 00:19:18,772
What? The old lady
screwed us over,
467
00:19:18,773 --> 00:19:20,540
so we're gonna
screw over somebody else.
468
00:19:20,541 --> 00:19:22,109
It's the circle of life.
469
00:19:22,110 --> 00:19:24,010
Carrie?
Yes?
470
00:19:25,513 --> 00:19:27,731
Think we'd like to
put in an offer.
471
00:19:27,732 --> 00:19:29,400
Really?
472
00:19:29,401 --> 00:19:30,951
This is a great house.
473
00:19:30,952 --> 00:19:32,485
And that little room
off the master
474
00:19:32,486 --> 00:19:34,071
is gonna be
perfect for the baby.
475
00:19:34,072 --> 00:19:35,823
Baby?
476
00:19:35,824 --> 00:19:37,991
Yeah. We got one
on the way.
477
00:19:39,343 --> 00:19:40,410
Uh...
478
00:19:40,411 --> 00:19:41,712
a- a-actually,
479
00:19:41,713 --> 00:19:43,146
D- Doug and I have
been talking,
480
00:19:43,147 --> 00:19:44,147
and, uh,
we don't think
481
00:19:44,148 --> 00:19:45,182
this is the-
482
00:19:45,183 --> 00:19:46,834
It's the right
house for you.
483
00:19:46,835 --> 00:19:48,002
Why not?
484
00:19:48,003 --> 00:19:49,269
Oh, we just
don't think you're-
485
00:19:49,270 --> 00:19:51,305
You're gonna be
happy here.
486
00:19:51,306 --> 00:19:53,173
Is this 'cause
we're black?
487
00:19:53,174 --> 00:19:54,124
What?
No.
488
00:19:54,125 --> 00:19:55,359
No, no.
489
00:19:55,360 --> 00:19:56,560
Then what's
the problem?
490
00:19:56,561 --> 00:19:58,262
The house has a million
things wrong with it.
491
00:19:58,263 --> 00:20:00,180
It's a very
bad house.
492
00:20:00,181 --> 00:20:02,182
It was fine
a few minutes ago.
493
00:20:02,183 --> 00:20:04,051
Look, we're telling
you the truth, okay?
494
00:20:04,052 --> 00:20:05,569
Oh, you don't
believe-
495
00:20:05,570 --> 00:20:06,620
Can I borrow this
for a second?
496
00:20:06,621 --> 00:20:08,121
Okay. All right, thank you.
497
00:20:08,122 --> 00:20:10,290
How's this for
fine craftsmanship?
498
00:20:13,427 --> 00:20:15,428
Actually, that wall
is pretty solid.
499
00:20:15,429 --> 00:20:17,397
Honey, why don't you
show them the broken pipes?
500
00:20:17,398 --> 00:20:19,232
That'll prove
we love black people.
501
00:20:19,233 --> 00:20:22,436
Yes! Yes! Great idea!
502
00:20:22,437 --> 00:20:24,371
Okay. Everybody,
you better take cover.
503
00:20:26,207 --> 00:20:28,241
Get up there girl.
Okay. All right.
504
00:20:28,242 --> 00:20:29,609
Hit it. Come on. I'm trying, baby.
505
00:20:29,610 --> 00:20:31,645
Just jab at it. That's
it. See? I'm jabbing.
506
00:20:31,646 --> 00:20:33,296
Yeah, bad.
Bad house.
507
00:20:36,401 --> 00:20:37,567
Shame on you.
508
00:20:43,808 --> 00:20:45,643
You better
watch your back.
509
00:21:11,619 --> 00:21:13,137
So should we take
the offer?
510
00:21:13,138 --> 00:21:15,139
I don't know. We're
getting killed here.
511
00:21:15,140 --> 00:21:16,874
What other choice
do we have?
512
00:21:16,875 --> 00:21:18,776
All right.
513
00:21:19,944 --> 00:21:21,178
Let's do this.
Okay.
514
00:21:25,283 --> 00:21:26,416
Lou...
515
00:21:26,417 --> 00:21:28,051
we've decided to
accept your offer.
516
00:21:28,052 --> 00:21:28,852
Great.
517
00:21:30,020 --> 00:21:32,272
We still think you're
low-balling us.
518
00:21:32,273 --> 00:21:33,723
Oh, I am.
35297
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