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1
00:00:41,824 --> 00:00:43,174
Ooh!
2
00:00:43,175 --> 00:00:45,544
Is Douglas back from the store
with my eyedrops?
3
00:00:45,545 --> 00:00:46,378
No, not yet.
4
00:00:46,379 --> 00:00:48,380
If I don't have
my eyedrops,
5
00:00:48,381 --> 00:00:50,147
I can't put my lenses in.
6
00:00:50,148 --> 00:00:52,167
I'm blind as a $2 hooker!
7
00:00:52,168 --> 00:00:55,086
Didn't know $2 hookers
tended to be blind.
8
00:00:55,087 --> 00:00:57,839
Why do you think
they're only $2?
9
00:00:57,840 --> 00:01:00,142
Dad, could we just get you
glasses already?
10
00:01:00,143 --> 00:01:01,927
I swore off glasses
in 1976!
11
00:01:01,928 --> 00:01:03,361
I know the year,
12
00:01:03,362 --> 00:01:05,797
because the last time I threw
a pair at the television
13
00:01:05,798 --> 00:01:08,866
was during a particularly
offensive bicentennial minute!
14
00:01:11,870 --> 00:01:12,954
Say hello to your hero.
15
00:01:12,955 --> 00:01:13,955
What?
16
00:01:13,956 --> 00:01:16,024
We needed toothpaste,
right?
17
00:01:16,025 --> 00:01:18,175
Well, it was on sale
for $1.09.
18
00:01:18,176 --> 00:01:20,829
Trouble is, it was
only one to a customer.
19
00:01:20,830 --> 00:01:22,847
So how did I get 5,
you ask?
20
00:01:22,848 --> 00:01:25,116
Well, Doug bought one.
21
00:01:25,117 --> 00:01:27,252
Then 10 minutes later,
22
00:01:27,253 --> 00:01:30,622
British Doug bought
a jolly good one.
23
00:01:30,623 --> 00:01:32,056
Then...
24
00:01:32,057 --> 00:01:33,575
Did you get
my father's eyedrops?
25
00:01:33,576 --> 00:01:35,627
Excuse me. I was
about to introduce you
26
00:01:35,628 --> 00:01:37,295
to Clumsy Shop-Teacher Doug.
27
00:01:42,134 --> 00:01:45,202
So the one thing I asked you
to get, you didn't get.
28
00:01:45,203 --> 00:01:46,654
No, but 5 tubes of toothpaste!
29
00:01:46,655 --> 00:01:48,356
We'll never need
toothpaste again!
30
00:01:48,357 --> 00:01:50,358
We win!
31
00:01:50,359 --> 00:01:52,994
Listen, I talked
to the bank today,
32
00:01:52,995 --> 00:01:56,431
and I think we should
refinance our mortgage.
33
00:01:56,432 --> 00:01:58,816
Carrie, we were lucky
to finance in the first place.
34
00:01:58,817 --> 00:02:02,154
Let's not tinker
with the support beams.
35
00:02:02,155 --> 00:02:04,372
Look, a couple of hours
of paperwork,
36
00:02:04,373 --> 00:02:07,808
and we save thousands of dollars
over the next 30 years.
37
00:02:07,809 --> 00:02:11,395
I gotta tell you, my vote's
still leanin' towards no.
38
00:02:11,396 --> 00:02:13,698
Oh, I'm sorry.
I forgot to tell you this.
39
00:02:13,699 --> 00:02:15,533
You don't have a vote.
40
00:02:22,407 --> 00:02:24,442
We have to refinance.
41
00:02:24,443 --> 00:02:27,546
Any money we save,
she'll just stick in the bank
44
00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:37,605
Heffernan.
45
00:02:37,606 --> 00:02:38,556
Uh, yeah, Mr. O'Boyle.
46
00:02:38,557 --> 00:02:40,141
Kinda slow goin' there,
huh?
47
00:02:40,142 --> 00:02:41,826
How 'bout
a little less Burger King
48
00:02:41,827 --> 00:02:43,845
and a little more
deliveries?
49
00:02:43,846 --> 00:02:46,464
Uh, I didn't stop
at Burger King today, sir.
50
00:02:46,465 --> 00:02:48,766
Then Arby's.
51
00:02:49,768 --> 00:02:51,435
Okay.
52
00:02:51,436 --> 00:02:54,405
Listen, you got a pickup
at Jewel and Kissena.
53
00:02:54,406 --> 00:02:55,573
The high school?
54
00:02:55,574 --> 00:02:57,191
Yeah.
55
00:02:57,192 --> 00:02:59,343
You kiddin' me?
I graduated from there.
56
00:02:59,344 --> 00:03:00,812
That's funny.
57
00:03:00,813 --> 00:03:02,514
Yeah, my sides
are splitting.
58
00:03:02,515 --> 00:03:05,583
Let me get off
so I can tell the guys.
59
00:03:16,812 --> 00:03:18,680
Hey, coach,
any chance you could use
60
00:03:18,681 --> 00:03:20,682
a slightly
out-of-shape fullback?
61
00:03:24,070 --> 00:03:26,071
Heffernan.
62
00:03:27,539 --> 00:03:29,207
How are ya?
63
00:03:29,208 --> 00:03:29,941
Ah, great.
64
00:03:29,942 --> 00:03:32,393
Pull up a chair.
Let's catch up, huh?
65
00:03:32,394 --> 00:03:33,528
All right.
66
00:03:33,529 --> 00:03:35,497
Okay...
67
00:03:35,898 --> 00:03:37,382
Married?
Yep.
68
00:03:37,383 --> 00:03:38,667
Kids?
No.
69
00:03:38,668 --> 00:03:40,868
We're all caught up.
70
00:03:40,869 --> 00:03:43,955
Hey, I'm thinking of going
to Mr. Nagel's biology class
71
00:03:43,956 --> 00:03:45,623
and settin'
all the frogs free again.
72
00:03:45,624 --> 00:03:47,542
He can't suspend me
now, right?
73
00:03:47,543 --> 00:03:48,927
No.
74
00:03:48,928 --> 00:03:51,162
He's dead.
75
00:03:52,698 --> 00:03:55,049
Oh, my God.
I'm so sorry-
76
00:03:55,050 --> 00:03:57,268
No, that's all right...
seven years ago.
77
00:03:57,269 --> 00:03:59,771
I'm all cried out.
78
00:03:59,772 --> 00:04:01,489
I cannot
believe you said-
79
00:04:01,490 --> 00:04:03,841
Hey, Brandon, Michael! Come
here, come here, come here.
80
00:04:03,842 --> 00:04:07,111
I want ya to meet
a real...
81
00:04:07,112 --> 00:04:08,679
running back.
82
00:04:08,680 --> 00:04:10,915
Doug Heffernan.
83
00:04:10,916 --> 00:04:13,735
All-county,
two years in a row.
84
00:04:13,736 --> 00:04:15,036
Hey, nice to
meet ya.
85
00:04:15,037 --> 00:04:16,037
How you doin'?
86
00:04:16,038 --> 00:04:17,672
Yeah, all-county. Wow.
87
00:04:17,673 --> 00:04:19,857
Uh, wanna tell 'em
about the Kennedy game?
88
00:04:19,858 --> 00:04:22,327
Come on. They don't wanna
hear the old war stories.
89
00:04:22,328 --> 00:04:24,929
Go ahead and tell them.
Okay.
90
00:04:24,930 --> 00:04:27,531
We hitched our wagon
to this animal.
91
00:04:27,532 --> 00:04:31,136
186 yards.
92
00:04:31,137 --> 00:04:32,219
You're embarrassing me.
93
00:04:32,220 --> 00:04:33,287
No, no, no.
94
00:04:33,288 --> 00:04:35,356
He ran like he was
mad at the grass.
95
00:04:43,082 --> 00:04:45,233
Hey, Arthur.
96
00:04:45,234 --> 00:04:47,701
Have you ever seen
this Mr. Magoo program?
97
00:04:47,702 --> 00:04:49,904
It's quite insensitive.
98
00:04:49,905 --> 00:04:52,791
Oh, 'cause of that really
racist Asian character?
99
00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:54,025
Oh, no. He's hilarious.
100
00:04:54,026 --> 00:04:56,694
They should give that guy
his own show.
101
00:04:56,695 --> 00:04:58,846
See, I don't see him
as a lead.
102
00:04:58,847 --> 00:05:00,331
You couldn't be
more wrong.
103
00:05:00,332 --> 00:05:03,834
My point is, the blind are
treated as if we're buffoons.
104
00:05:03,835 --> 00:05:04,935
You're not blind.
105
00:05:04,936 --> 00:05:06,904
Why don't you just
go get glasses?
106
00:05:06,905 --> 00:05:10,141
I think you'd look
really handsome in them.
107
00:05:10,142 --> 00:05:12,644
That's the nicest thing
you ever said to me.
108
00:05:12,645 --> 00:05:14,578
Wait a second.
109
00:05:14,579 --> 00:05:15,980
You're not Carrie!
110
00:05:17,148 --> 00:05:19,283
N- no, it's me, Holly.
111
00:05:19,284 --> 00:05:23,021
I'm sorry. I can usually
recognize your gin-soaked voice.
112
00:05:24,740 --> 00:05:26,891
I must need
my eardrops.
113
00:05:26,892 --> 00:05:28,659
Listen, Arthur,
if you're not feeling well,
114
00:05:28,660 --> 00:05:30,228
we don't have to go
on our walk today.
115
00:05:33,165 --> 00:05:34,866
Wait, Arthur, no.
These aren't eardrops!
116
00:05:34,867 --> 00:05:36,467
This is wart remover.
117
00:05:36,468 --> 00:05:37,952
It says for external use only!
118
00:05:37,953 --> 00:05:39,754
Oh, my God.
119
00:05:39,755 --> 00:05:41,589
Are you okay?
120
00:05:41,590 --> 00:05:44,325
Arthur! Arthur,
can you hear me?
121
00:05:47,062 --> 00:05:49,097
So then I cut to my left, right?
122
00:05:49,098 --> 00:05:51,215
And the cornerback comes in
to try to get me, right?
123
00:05:51,216 --> 00:05:52,917
So I say, "I'm gonna
cut to the right,"
124
00:05:52,918 --> 00:05:54,418
But no, I go
right through him
125
00:05:54,419 --> 00:05:55,954
and just crack
his chest plate!
126
00:05:55,955 --> 00:05:58,422
I put like a cleat in the eye,
I'm going crazy!
127
00:05:58,423 --> 00:05:59,774
His eye's twitchin',
128
00:05:59,775 --> 00:06:02,727
and his soul is literally
spillin' all over the field.
129
00:06:02,728 --> 00:06:04,596
Then I just truck it
into the end zone.
130
00:06:04,597 --> 00:06:06,597
Touchdown. Playoffs.
131
00:06:06,598 --> 00:06:07,665
Something like that.
132
00:06:07,666 --> 00:06:10,168
I don't remember.
It was a long time ago.
133
00:06:10,169 --> 00:06:11,569
Awesome!
134
00:06:11,570 --> 00:06:14,572
Yeah. We haven't made
the playoffs since, what, '94?
135
00:06:14,573 --> 00:06:16,274
Hey, hey.
136
00:06:17,943 --> 00:06:20,644
I need this job.
137
00:06:22,614 --> 00:06:24,999
You got time to tell 'em
about the Bayside game?
138
00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:26,867
Heffernan, where are you?
139
00:06:26,868 --> 00:06:28,519
We got
an emergency plasma pickup
140
00:06:28,520 --> 00:06:30,922
at Queens General Hospital.
141
00:06:30,923 --> 00:06:33,157
I got time.
142
00:06:40,399 --> 00:06:43,017
Car, you're never gonna believe
where I had a pickup today.
143
00:06:43,018 --> 00:06:45,687
One second, honey. I'm on the
phone with the mortgage company.
144
00:06:45,688 --> 00:06:48,456
Yes, once again,
the name is Heffernan.
145
00:06:48,457 --> 00:06:51,225
They told me to talk to you
about looking into a rate?
146
00:06:51,226 --> 00:06:54,261
No, no, no, no.
Customer Service sent me to you.
147
00:06:54,262 --> 00:06:56,898
Please don't send me
back there- Hello? Great.
148
00:06:56,899 --> 00:06:59,601
Here comes
American Pie again.
149
00:06:59,602 --> 00:07:01,335
My old high school.
It was unbelievable.
150
00:07:01,336 --> 00:07:03,170
My old coach calls me
in the office, right?
151
00:07:03,171 --> 00:07:04,338
We're hanging out there.
152
00:07:04,339 --> 00:07:05,439
Then he brings students in
153
00:07:05,440 --> 00:07:06,908
so we can tell them
some stories-
154
00:07:06,909 --> 00:07:09,294
And then
- Yes, Marcus. Yes, it's me again.
155
00:07:09,295 --> 00:07:10,928
Honey, please. Yes...
156
00:07:10,929 --> 00:07:12,530
Yes, the yeller. Uh-huh.
157
00:07:12,531 --> 00:07:15,199
Listen, you and Melissa
and me,
158
00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:17,901
we all need to get
on the same page, okay?
159
00:07:17,902 --> 00:07:20,438
Because she said
I needed to talk to you.
160
00:07:20,439 --> 00:07:23,057
No, no, no. Don't put me
on hold again, plea-
161
00:07:23,058 --> 00:07:24,859
I'm on hold.
162
00:07:24,860 --> 00:07:26,126
So I'm telling
the story, right,
163
00:07:26,127 --> 00:07:27,961
and these kids are
literally looking at me
164
00:07:27,962 --> 00:07:29,630
like I'm one of the guys
from Menudo.
165
00:07:29,631 --> 00:07:31,649
And all of a sudden-
166
00:07:31,650 --> 00:07:33,984
I- I- I-
Listen, listen, baby, please!
167
00:07:33,985 --> 00:07:35,653
God, I gotta focus
on this right now.
168
00:07:35,654 --> 00:07:36,654
Do me a favor.
169
00:07:36,655 --> 00:07:38,356
The upstairs toilet
is acting up again.
170
00:07:38,357 --> 00:07:39,541
Please take a look at it.
171
00:07:39,542 --> 00:07:40,875
Yes!
172
00:07:49,418 --> 00:07:51,836
Treat her right,
and she'll treat you right.
173
00:07:51,837 --> 00:07:53,955
Doug Heffernan,
class of '83.
174
00:07:59,611 --> 00:08:01,963
This is broccoli!
What?
175
00:08:01,964 --> 00:08:03,815
Broccoli!
176
00:08:03,816 --> 00:08:06,333
Okay. Ready for broccoli.
177
00:08:09,171 --> 00:08:11,388
Yam!
178
00:08:11,389 --> 00:08:13,391
Okay. Ready for ham.
179
00:08:13,392 --> 00:08:15,576
No, I said yam.
180
00:08:15,577 --> 00:08:17,061
Yes.
181
00:08:22,250 --> 00:08:24,836
What's the date
on this ham?
182
00:08:31,210 --> 00:08:32,043
What's up?
183
00:08:39,718 --> 00:08:41,602
Hey, we got any SunnyD?
184
00:08:44,223 --> 00:08:46,991
Doug... where have you been?
185
00:08:46,992 --> 00:08:48,659
What are you
talking about?
186
00:08:48,660 --> 00:08:52,230
You were supposed to meet me
at the mortgage company.
187
00:08:52,231 --> 00:08:55,333
Oh, uh...
188
00:08:55,334 --> 00:08:56,950
I'm sorry. I forgot.
189
00:08:56,951 --> 00:08:58,119
You forgot.
Where were you?
190
00:08:58,120 --> 00:09:00,387
School.
191
00:09:00,388 --> 00:09:03,557
You went back
to your old high school? Why?
192
00:09:03,558 --> 00:09:05,743
We have a very big game
coming up.
193
00:09:05,744 --> 00:09:09,062
Okay, I don't know
what it is you're talking about,
194
00:09:09,063 --> 00:09:10,731
but I rescheduled
the appointment
195
00:09:10,732 --> 00:09:12,433
for tomorrow at 5:00.
196
00:09:12,434 --> 00:09:16,304
Uh, yeah. 5's
not gonna work for me.
197
00:09:17,939 --> 00:09:19,206
And why is that?
198
00:09:19,207 --> 00:09:21,092
Pep rally.
Pep rally.
199
00:09:22,511 --> 00:09:24,511
Okay, you do realize
we're seconds away
200
00:09:24,512 --> 00:09:26,681
from squad cars being
on our lawn, right?
201
00:09:26,682 --> 00:09:28,682
Carrie, so... I like
hanging out there sometimes.
202
00:09:28,683 --> 00:09:30,485
What's the big deal?
What's the big deal?
203
00:09:30,486 --> 00:09:32,437
First of all,
you missed an appointment,
204
00:09:32,438 --> 00:09:34,355
and it is a little weird
that a grown man
205
00:09:34,356 --> 00:09:36,123
is hanging out
at his old high school.
206
00:09:36,124 --> 00:09:38,576
And why the hell
are you wearing a backpack?
207
00:09:38,577 --> 00:09:41,579
That's exactly why I go
hang out at my old high school,
208
00:09:41,580 --> 00:09:43,948
Okay, 'cause I go there,
I'm somebody. I get respect.
209
00:09:43,949 --> 00:09:46,267
I walk in here,
all I get is you yelling at me
210
00:09:46,268 --> 00:09:49,037
and Ray Charles
bouncing off the furniture.
211
00:09:49,038 --> 00:09:51,239
How 'bout this? When you
get home from work tomorrow
212
00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:53,841
and you take your pants off
and fall asleep on the couch,
213
00:09:53,842 --> 00:09:54,826
I throw ya
a parade, huh?
214
00:09:54,827 --> 00:09:57,128
All I'm saying is,
high school was great.
215
00:09:57,129 --> 00:09:59,764
And I miss having
that feeling, that's all.
216
00:09:59,765 --> 00:10:01,582
You can understand that,
right?
217
00:10:01,583 --> 00:10:04,001
No, I can't understand it
because high school sucked.
218
00:10:04,002 --> 00:10:06,220
What are you talking about?
219
00:10:06,221 --> 00:10:08,288
All the obnoxious cliques,
the cheerleaders-
220
00:10:08,289 --> 00:10:11,342
"Excuse me, that's our table. "
221
00:10:11,343 --> 00:10:14,345
The only thing I enjoyed
was smoking in the girls' room.
222
00:10:15,130 --> 00:10:16,647
Ohhh. Oh, my God!
223
00:10:16,648 --> 00:10:18,115
I- I get it!
224
00:10:18,116 --> 00:10:19,516
Oh, my God, you're-
225
00:10:19,517 --> 00:10:21,786
You're jealous
'cause I rocked in high school
226
00:10:21,787 --> 00:10:23,821
and you didn't!
227
00:10:23,822 --> 00:10:27,124
I'm Emilio Estevez,
and you're Ally Sheedy!
228
00:10:28,994 --> 00:10:30,728
What does that mean?
229
00:10:30,729 --> 00:10:31,829
Breakfast Club?
230
00:10:33,231 --> 00:10:34,281
Never saw it.
231
00:10:34,282 --> 00:10:35,783
You-
232
00:10:37,619 --> 00:10:40,037
You what?!
233
00:10:40,038 --> 00:10:41,172
I never saw it.
234
00:10:41,173 --> 00:10:43,007
You never saw that movie?
235
00:10:43,008 --> 00:10:44,408
No, I didn't see it,
Doug, okay,
236
00:10:44,409 --> 00:10:46,911
because while you and your
buddies were watching movies.
237
00:10:46,912 --> 00:10:48,379
I was working.
Oh, here we go.
238
00:10:48,380 --> 00:10:50,882
Yeah, that's right. I had to
wait tables at Friendly's
239
00:10:50,883 --> 00:10:53,450
because I had to take care of my
father because I was a grownup.
240
00:10:53,451 --> 00:10:56,120
I had to be responsible.
241
00:10:56,121 --> 00:10:58,422
Oh, why do I even
talk to you?
242
00:10:58,423 --> 00:11:00,825
You can't talk to me
because I'm Ferris Bueller,
243
00:11:00,826 --> 00:11:03,160
and you're
his very bitter sister.
244
00:11:05,163 --> 00:11:07,798
Oh, my God.
You didn't see that either.
245
00:11:07,799 --> 00:11:10,952
Okay, all I know is high school
is over for you, okay?
246
00:11:10,953 --> 00:11:13,320
Now I have to get back
to very grownup stuff here,
247
00:11:13,321 --> 00:11:14,822
so excuse me.
248
00:11:14,823 --> 00:11:16,323
Okay. You know,
all I know is
249
00:11:16,324 --> 00:11:19,410
your lack of classic-movie
knowledge is terrifying!
250
00:11:54,663 --> 00:11:56,764
Hey, what's up, guys?
251
00:11:56,765 --> 00:11:59,050
You guys, uh, ready
to crush Roosevelt?
252
00:11:59,051 --> 00:12:00,367
Uh...
253
00:12:00,368 --> 00:12:01,886
Yeah.
254
00:12:01,887 --> 00:12:04,588
All right. Now, I hope
you guys aren't on the juice.
255
00:12:04,589 --> 00:12:05,790
But if you are,
256
00:12:05,791 --> 00:12:08,059
you know where to come
for clean pee.
257
00:12:08,777 --> 00:12:09,893
Great.
258
00:12:11,730 --> 00:12:12,896
So, uh...
259
00:12:12,897 --> 00:12:14,498
You work here now or...
260
00:12:14,499 --> 00:12:15,699
Work here? No, no, no.
261
00:12:15,700 --> 00:12:17,768
I'm just here for the talk,
here to listen,
262
00:12:17,769 --> 00:12:20,471
here to guide you guys through
the crazy minefield they call...
263
00:12:20,472 --> 00:12:22,523
the teen years.
264
00:12:22,524 --> 00:12:23,941
Great.
265
00:12:23,942 --> 00:12:25,042
Yeah.
Yeah.
266
00:12:26,411 --> 00:12:29,563
Doug...
what are you doing?
267
00:12:29,564 --> 00:12:31,565
I'm just hanging
with the guys.
268
00:12:31,566 --> 00:12:36,337
We're supposed to be signing
mortgage papers in half an hour.
269
00:12:36,338 --> 00:12:37,354
Uh, Doug, we're gonna...
270
00:12:37,355 --> 00:12:39,707
Go score a couple
of Red Bulls.
271
00:12:39,708 --> 00:12:40,858
See ya.
272
00:12:42,227 --> 00:12:44,996
Okay, thanks for embarrassing me
in front of my crew.
273
00:12:45,780 --> 00:12:47,364
Your crew.
274
00:12:47,365 --> 00:12:49,666
Um, okay. Here's how
it's gonna go down.
275
00:12:49,667 --> 00:12:51,702
I'm gonna go
to the ladies' room,
276
00:12:51,703 --> 00:12:53,937
and you wrap up
with 'Nsync over there, okay?
277
00:12:53,938 --> 00:12:55,806
And then we're gonna
get outta here.
278
00:12:57,392 --> 00:13:00,061
Guys- Wait! Wait up!
279
00:13:00,962 --> 00:13:02,913
Hey, uh,
280
00:13:02,914 --> 00:13:04,398
can I bum one of those?
281
00:13:04,399 --> 00:13:06,517
Thank you.
282
00:13:10,772 --> 00:13:12,106
I'm not usually
a fan of hot pink,
283
00:13:12,107 --> 00:13:13,607
but you really made that work.
284
00:13:18,496 --> 00:13:20,882
Suzie,
it's gonna be okay.
285
00:13:20,883 --> 00:13:23,150
It's not okay.
He's totally with Lisa now!
286
00:13:23,151 --> 00:13:24,785
Um...
287
00:13:24,786 --> 00:13:27,988
you're not supposed to be
smoking in here.
288
00:13:27,989 --> 00:13:29,890
Oh... really?
289
00:13:29,891 --> 00:13:32,359
Thank you for the heads up.
290
00:13:34,045 --> 00:13:36,380
I don't even understand
what I am without him.
291
00:13:36,381 --> 00:13:38,916
Just make him promise
not to cheat on you again,
292
00:13:38,917 --> 00:13:41,819
and get him
a really nice gift.
293
00:13:41,820 --> 00:13:43,738
Wow, that's really great advice.
294
00:13:43,739 --> 00:13:45,639
Um, who are you?
295
00:13:45,640 --> 00:13:47,291
Um, I'm the only person
in this bathroom
296
00:13:47,292 --> 00:13:49,259
who knows anything about boys.
297
00:13:49,260 --> 00:13:51,562
Just dump the loser
and move on.
298
00:13:51,563 --> 00:13:54,081
You don't understand.
I love him.
299
00:13:54,082 --> 00:13:56,917
And I keep hearing that
stupid Christina Aguilera song.
300
00:13:56,918 --> 00:13:58,819
It's my life.
301
00:14:09,314 --> 00:14:10,381
Stop.
302
00:14:12,317 --> 00:14:13,950
Stop it.
Stop it, sweetie.
303
00:14:13,951 --> 00:14:16,086
Stop. Stop.
Bring it down.
304
00:14:17,439 --> 00:14:20,157
You guys are very depressing
for cheerleaders.
305
00:14:20,158 --> 00:14:21,291
Excuse me...
306
00:14:21,292 --> 00:14:23,326
but my life is over!
307
00:14:23,327 --> 00:14:24,795
Oh, come on.
308
00:14:24,796 --> 00:14:26,530
You have the world
at your feet.
309
00:14:26,531 --> 00:14:28,298
I mean, look at you.
You're pretty.
310
00:14:28,299 --> 00:14:31,401
You can probably bend in
a bunch of different ways.
311
00:14:32,938 --> 00:14:35,606
So one guy broke your heart.
You move on.
312
00:14:35,607 --> 00:14:37,357
But Brandon's perfect!
313
00:14:37,358 --> 00:14:39,793
Okay, let me explain something
to you about Brandon, okay?
314
00:14:39,794 --> 00:14:42,296
Twenty years from now,
he's gonna be 250 pounds
315
00:14:42,297 --> 00:14:45,766
and communicating to you
entirely in burps.
316
00:14:45,767 --> 00:14:47,601
Trust me.
317
00:14:47,602 --> 00:14:49,003
Wow.
318
00:14:49,004 --> 00:14:51,005
What else
can you tell us?
319
00:14:51,006 --> 00:14:53,758
Well, um...
320
00:14:53,759 --> 00:14:56,460
unless you're planning
on being in the Ice Capades,
321
00:14:56,461 --> 00:14:59,196
let's lose
the glitter makeup, okay?
322
00:14:59,197 --> 00:15:01,348
Yeah.
323
00:15:01,349 --> 00:15:03,600
Okay. Well, it's time
to begin our program.
324
00:15:03,601 --> 00:15:05,936
We got a big game
coming up,
325
00:15:05,937 --> 00:15:08,189
and we're gonna
take it to 'em, huh?
326
00:15:08,190 --> 00:15:09,923
Yeah.
327
00:15:11,109 --> 00:15:12,443
Good. That's the spirit.
328
00:15:12,444 --> 00:15:13,810
McGregor is so weak.
329
00:15:13,811 --> 00:15:16,547
I know. How are we supposed
to get pumped up to this?
330
00:15:16,548 --> 00:15:18,449
You guys want pumped up?
331
00:15:18,450 --> 00:15:20,150
You got it.
332
00:15:21,852 --> 00:15:25,205
I've never seen anybody
run a library the way you do.
333
00:15:25,206 --> 00:15:26,957
You know, in my condo
334
00:15:26,958 --> 00:15:30,327
I got books laying around
all over the place.
335
00:15:30,328 --> 00:15:34,064
Maybe you could come over
and help me arrange 'em.
336
00:15:38,136 --> 00:15:40,554
And after our big win,
337
00:15:40,555 --> 00:15:42,556
we're gonna bring it on home
to the state finals.
338
00:15:42,557 --> 00:15:44,224
Yeah, I'll take it
from here, Mr. McG.
339
00:15:44,225 --> 00:15:45,225
Doug Heffernan?
340
00:15:45,226 --> 00:15:47,645
Yeah, that's right.
All right...
341
00:15:47,646 --> 00:15:49,379
I got one question
for you people,
342
00:15:49,380 --> 00:15:52,733
and that is,
"What's up, Commodores?"
343
00:15:54,452 --> 00:15:56,988
Okay, see, now,
that doesn't work for me,
344
00:15:56,989 --> 00:15:59,639
'cause back where I'm from,
we used to make a lotta noise.
345
00:15:59,640 --> 00:16:03,711
I'm gonna ask you again.
What's up, Commodores?!
346
00:16:06,832 --> 00:16:09,300
That's better. Now, you guys
ready to beat Roosevelt?!
347
00:16:13,505 --> 00:16:15,105
Yeah!
348
00:16:15,106 --> 00:16:17,474
How 'bout this half
of the room? We gonna win?
349
00:16:21,196 --> 00:16:23,180
Now this half!
350
00:16:27,202 --> 00:16:28,885
Now just the sexy people!
351
00:16:31,857 --> 00:16:33,823
Yeah! That's it!
We're gonna win this game,
352
00:16:33,824 --> 00:16:35,292
and we're gonna
win every game
353
00:16:35,293 --> 00:16:38,496
till we're kissing
that championship trophy!
354
00:16:41,816 --> 00:16:43,400
And I'll tell you
something else!
355
00:16:43,401 --> 00:16:45,419
You know what Roosevelt
can kiss?
356
00:16:45,420 --> 00:16:47,654
They can kiss this!
357
00:17:04,923 --> 00:17:07,858
God's sakes,
Heffernan...
358
00:17:07,859 --> 00:17:09,360
pull your pants up.
359
00:17:16,902 --> 00:17:20,070
Okay, Arthur,
I'm here.
360
00:17:20,071 --> 00:17:23,640
It's me. Holly.
361
00:17:28,613 --> 00:17:31,882
"Lost my voice
from screaming.
362
00:17:31,883 --> 00:17:34,951
Also would like to go
to petting zoo. "
363
00:17:41,810 --> 00:17:43,960
Do you want a glass of water?
364
00:17:49,067 --> 00:17:52,369
No. No, Arthur,
you can do this.
365
00:17:52,370 --> 00:17:54,271
Yes, you can. You-
Yes, you can!
366
00:17:54,272 --> 00:17:55,338
You absolu-
367
00:17:55,339 --> 00:17:57,374
Arthur, you have to
believe in yourself!
368
00:17:57,375 --> 00:17:58,776
You have to believe
in yourself!
369
00:17:58,777 --> 00:17:59,843
You can do this!
370
00:17:59,844 --> 00:18:03,197
You can do this!
You can do this! Water!
371
00:18:03,198 --> 00:18:05,116
Water! Water!
372
00:18:05,117 --> 00:18:08,051
Water.
373
00:18:10,088 --> 00:18:11,822
Water...
374
00:18:14,759 --> 00:18:16,760
Hey.
375
00:18:16,761 --> 00:18:18,762
What are you
doing here?
376
00:18:18,763 --> 00:18:21,097
I was teaching little
Suzie Pinkus how to smoke,
377
00:18:21,098 --> 00:18:24,000
and the little princess
threw up and got us caught.
378
00:18:24,001 --> 00:18:26,103
What are you here for?
379
00:18:26,104 --> 00:18:28,338
It'll all be
in the police report.
380
00:18:32,710 --> 00:18:34,978
Hi.
381
00:18:34,979 --> 00:18:36,413
Hey.
382
00:18:36,414 --> 00:18:37,414
This your wife?
383
00:18:37,415 --> 00:18:38,749
Yeah,
this is Carrie.
384
00:18:38,750 --> 00:18:40,784
Carrie, this is
Coach Walcott.
385
00:18:40,785 --> 00:18:42,403
Hi.
Hi, Carrie.
386
00:18:42,404 --> 00:18:44,321
That short for Carlene?
387
00:18:44,322 --> 00:18:45,623
No.
388
00:18:45,624 --> 00:18:46,640
That's weird.
389
00:18:51,195 --> 00:18:52,496
You know...
390
00:18:54,416 --> 00:18:56,584
You can't, uh... smoke
391
00:18:56,585 --> 00:18:58,719
anywhere on school grounds.
392
00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:01,088
Yes, I know.
It'll never happen again.
393
00:19:01,089 --> 00:19:03,307
And as for you, Dougie...
394
00:19:03,308 --> 00:19:05,559
you pull your pants down
395
00:19:05,560 --> 00:19:06,627
when you're a little kid,
396
00:19:06,628 --> 00:19:08,929
it's cute.
397
00:19:08,930 --> 00:19:11,298
When you're approaching 40,
398
00:19:11,299 --> 00:19:13,500
shaped like you...
399
00:19:15,570 --> 00:19:17,805
it's... disturbing.
400
00:19:21,709 --> 00:19:23,676
I kn- I know that now.
401
00:19:25,030 --> 00:19:28,248
Now, I've got a story
I wanna share with you.
402
00:19:28,249 --> 00:19:31,384
Quite a few years ago,
I was...
403
00:19:31,385 --> 00:19:33,954
quite a football hero.
404
00:19:38,659 --> 00:19:41,378
You like that picture,
don't ya, Cheryl?
405
00:19:41,379 --> 00:19:42,913
Mm-hmm.
406
00:19:42,914 --> 00:19:45,582
Yeah, uh-huh! Anyway, I...
407
00:19:45,583 --> 00:19:48,302
I used to drop by
my old high school, you know.
408
00:19:48,303 --> 00:19:50,170
I didn't belong there.
409
00:19:50,171 --> 00:19:53,207
Actually, you did,
'cause...
410
00:19:53,208 --> 00:19:56,110
you're a high school
football coach, you know?
411
00:19:56,111 --> 00:19:58,912
Let me tell you
a different story.
412
00:19:58,913 --> 00:20:00,748
No, no, coach.
I think we get it.
413
00:20:00,749 --> 00:20:03,200
He's telling us
that we can't go home again.
414
00:20:03,201 --> 00:20:06,786
Exactly. Now, if you'll
just listen to Charlene...
415
00:20:09,491 --> 00:20:11,492
I've gotta get back
right away,
416
00:20:11,493 --> 00:20:13,960
because I got a librarian
coming over,
417
00:20:13,961 --> 00:20:16,263
and I gotta pick up
a bunch of books.
418
00:20:21,151 --> 00:20:23,019
I really love ya,
buddy.
419
00:20:24,088 --> 00:20:26,289
I'll see ya in...
20 years.
420
00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:33,430
So... are you
ready to leave?
421
00:20:36,184 --> 00:20:37,884
Yeah.
422
00:20:44,726 --> 00:20:46,693
So are you still mad at me?
423
00:20:46,694 --> 00:20:49,696
No. I get the whole
high school thing now.
424
00:20:49,697 --> 00:20:51,197
You do?
425
00:20:51,198 --> 00:20:52,633
Yeah. I had some fun
426
00:20:52,634 --> 00:20:55,135
in the bathroom
with some cheerleaders.
427
00:20:56,971 --> 00:20:59,472
I wanna hear that story.
428
00:21:09,483 --> 00:21:13,052
So tell me more
about your work with...
429
00:21:13,053 --> 00:21:14,755
With the blind.
430
00:21:17,308 --> 00:21:18,609
Um...
431
00:21:18,610 --> 00:21:20,193
Okay.
30059
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