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1
00:00:12,045 --> 00:00:14,930
Oh, that's, uh-
That's my pillow.
2
00:00:14,931 --> 00:00:16,631
What?
3
00:00:16,632 --> 00:00:18,050
That pillow behind you.
That one-
4
00:00:18,051 --> 00:00:19,468
That one's mine.
5
00:00:19,469 --> 00:00:22,437
Well, there's two perfectly good
pillows right there.
6
00:00:22,438 --> 00:00:23,972
No way.
7
00:00:23,973 --> 00:00:25,941
This one's too puffy,
and this one's too flat.
8
00:00:25,942 --> 00:00:27,642
Can I have my pillow, please?
I need it.
9
00:00:27,643 --> 00:00:30,312
It's perfect
for my special head needs.
10
00:00:30,313 --> 00:00:31,996
Well, I'm sorry.
I'm all set up here.
11
00:00:31,997 --> 00:00:34,399
So why don't you lay
your special head
12
00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:36,534
on one of these pillows,
close your eyes
13
00:00:36,535 --> 00:00:38,836
and fall asleep.
14
00:00:40,189 --> 00:00:42,791
Okay, is that what you think
happens here every night?
15
00:00:42,792 --> 00:00:46,078
I just... close my eyes
and fall asleep?
16
00:00:46,079 --> 00:00:47,044
Yeah.
17
00:00:47,045 --> 00:00:48,830
That's pretty much
how it goes down.
18
00:00:48,831 --> 00:00:50,698
Okay, Carrie,
that is my pillow,
19
00:00:50,699 --> 00:00:52,633
and I want her now.
20
00:00:53,502 --> 00:00:55,854
And I am telling you, Doug,
21
00:00:55,855 --> 00:00:58,523
that I'm... not... moving.
22
00:01:34,127 --> 00:01:35,760
I don't care.
23
00:01:38,497 --> 00:01:39,931
Yeah.
24
00:01:42,534 --> 00:01:43,852
You know what?
25
00:01:43,853 --> 00:01:45,019
You are such a baby.
26
00:01:45,020 --> 00:01:46,555
Yeah?
Here, here, here.
27
00:01:46,556 --> 00:01:49,090
And now I'm gonna
sleep like one too.
28
00:02:07,926 --> 00:02:10,027
Actually, I think
that's my pillow,
29
00:02:10,028 --> 00:02:12,130
right there.
30
00:02:48,551 --> 00:02:51,319
Gin rummy, you and me,
right now.
31
00:02:51,320 --> 00:02:52,487
Oh, I'm sorry, Dad.
32
00:02:52,488 --> 00:02:54,289
I have to finish
this report.
33
00:02:57,326 --> 00:03:00,428
You can keep dealin'.
I'm still not playin'.
34
00:03:01,897 --> 00:03:03,230
Dad, if you have nothing to do,
35
00:03:03,231 --> 00:03:05,267
why don't you go down
to the senior center?
36
00:03:05,268 --> 00:03:08,153
No. Not as along as
George Barksdale is president.
37
00:03:08,154 --> 00:03:10,888
He picks the movies,
he picks the pudding,
38
00:03:10,889 --> 00:03:14,725
and if ya cross him, good luck
in getting a bingo card.
39
00:03:14,726 --> 00:03:16,611
Well, if you're so unhappy,
40
00:03:16,612 --> 00:03:18,313
why don't you
just say something?
41
00:03:18,314 --> 00:03:19,631
The last guy who did that
44
00:03:30,376 --> 00:03:32,143
I'm tellin' ya
I gave it back to you.
45
00:03:32,144 --> 00:03:33,211
No, you didn't.
46
00:03:33,212 --> 00:03:35,529
You came a long way
for some humble pie.
47
00:03:35,530 --> 00:03:36,664
Hey, guys.
48
00:03:36,665 --> 00:03:38,383
Hey, Car.
Hey.
49
00:03:38,384 --> 00:03:42,621
Deacon seems to think we have
his Earth, Wind & Fire box set.
50
00:03:42,622 --> 00:03:44,256
Now, you haven't seen it,
right?
51
00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:50,345
Yes. It's right there
on the bookshelf.
52
00:03:50,346 --> 00:03:52,097
I told you
to give it back to him.
53
00:03:52,098 --> 00:03:54,349
Thanks.
54
00:03:54,350 --> 00:03:55,950
Okay, was, uh...
55
00:03:55,951 --> 00:03:57,451
this not clear to you?
56
00:03:59,021 --> 00:04:00,822
Anyway,
I'm gonna head out.
57
00:04:00,823 --> 00:04:03,090
What ya talkin' about?
We were gonna watch the Knicks.
58
00:04:03,091 --> 00:04:04,209
I gotta get up early
to take
59
00:04:04,210 --> 00:04:06,077
that personnel evaluation test
at work.
60
00:04:06,078 --> 00:04:08,496
No- No, they didn't tell you?
It's- It's optional.
61
00:04:08,497 --> 00:04:09,831
I know.
I'm still taking it.
62
00:04:09,832 --> 00:04:12,416
Okay, do you know
what "optional" means?
63
00:04:12,417 --> 00:04:14,736
I don't wanna be a driver
my whole life. Here's a chance
64
00:04:14,737 --> 00:04:16,904
for me to improve myself
and move up in the company.
65
00:04:16,905 --> 00:04:18,773
I think I can get up
an hour earlier for that.
66
00:04:18,774 --> 00:04:20,775
Yeah? Well,
while you're improving yourself,
67
00:04:20,776 --> 00:04:23,210
I'll be laying in bed holding in
a bladder full of pee.
68
00:04:30,803 --> 00:04:33,221
What's this test
Deacon's talking about?
69
00:04:33,222 --> 00:04:34,439
It's nothin'.
70
00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:36,341
He said it can help you
move up in the company.
71
00:04:36,342 --> 00:04:38,026
How come
you're not taking it?
72
00:04:38,027 --> 00:04:40,779
Does anybody know
what "optional" means?
73
00:04:40,780 --> 00:04:42,180
It's not
for a specific promotion.
74
00:04:42,181 --> 00:04:45,567
It's just some kind
of general aptitude thing.
75
00:04:45,568 --> 00:04:48,052
Oh, I see. So you're taking
yourself out of the running
76
00:04:48,053 --> 00:04:50,288
for any promotion ever?
77
00:04:50,289 --> 00:04:52,490
From your lips to his ears.
78
00:04:52,491 --> 00:04:54,659
Look, Carrie, I'd probably
do lousy at it anyway.
79
00:04:54,660 --> 00:04:57,412
Well, how do you know
if you don't even try, Doug?
80
00:04:57,413 --> 00:04:58,813
We've been married
for 10 years,
81
00:04:58,814 --> 00:05:01,249
but I've never seen you
really try for anything.
82
00:05:01,250 --> 00:05:02,884
Believe me,
I've tried for things.
83
00:05:02,885 --> 00:05:03,934
Oh, yeah, that's right.
84
00:05:03,935 --> 00:05:06,871
You did try to finish
Newark's biggest burrito.
85
00:05:08,791 --> 00:05:10,124
It would've been free.
86
00:05:10,125 --> 00:05:13,628
All right, forget it.
Sorry I even brought it up.
87
00:05:19,034 --> 00:05:21,319
You know,
I did try for something once.
88
00:05:23,355 --> 00:05:24,923
It was 1989,
89
00:05:24,924 --> 00:05:27,776
and I was working as bouncer
at this place called Poison,
90
00:05:27,777 --> 00:05:30,945
one of the hottest clubs
in Queens.
91
00:05:30,946 --> 00:05:34,032
But what I really wanted
to be...
92
00:05:34,033 --> 00:05:36,284
was a bartender.
93
00:05:36,285 --> 00:05:38,302
The movie Cocktail
was taking the world by storm
94
00:05:38,303 --> 00:05:40,020
and dishing out booze
95
00:05:40,021 --> 00:05:41,655
was the coolest job
a guy could have.
96
00:05:44,844 --> 00:05:46,260
Then finally one night,
my boss said
97
00:05:46,261 --> 00:05:48,429
the magic words
I'd been waiting to hear.
98
00:05:48,430 --> 00:05:49,681
"Mike called in sick.
99
00:05:49,682 --> 00:05:51,266
"He ate some bad salmon.
100
00:05:51,267 --> 00:05:53,634
He's been on the toilet
all day. "
101
00:05:55,504 --> 00:05:56,887
I finally got my shot.
102
00:06:04,397 --> 00:06:06,648
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
103
00:06:23,014 --> 00:06:25,500
Ya understand now?
104
00:06:25,501 --> 00:06:28,770
Well, I don't remember Cocktail
taking the world by storm,
105
00:06:28,771 --> 00:06:31,139
but other than that,
yeah, I guess.
106
00:06:31,140 --> 00:06:33,040
Let me tell ya.
I learned something that night.
107
00:06:33,041 --> 00:06:35,927
You don't try for things,
you don't get hurt.
108
00:06:35,928 --> 00:06:38,078
Doug, is this all
because of what happened
109
00:06:38,079 --> 00:06:41,266
15 years ago
at some stupid club?
110
00:06:41,267 --> 00:06:43,184
Stupid? Okay.
Stupid clu-
111
00:06:43,185 --> 00:06:46,320
That's why Bell, Biv
and DeVoe were regulars.
112
00:06:49,007 --> 00:06:52,509
All I'm saying,
in my career, okay,
113
00:06:52,510 --> 00:06:54,679
I try for things,
and yet I fail,
114
00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:56,280
and it hurts,
but I keep trying.
115
00:06:56,281 --> 00:06:58,366
You wanna know why?
116
00:06:58,367 --> 00:07:00,502
You're a slow learner?
117
00:07:00,503 --> 00:07:03,671
No, because I want
a better life for us.
118
00:07:03,672 --> 00:07:05,790
Better?
119
00:07:08,276 --> 00:07:10,127
Doug, please.
120
00:07:10,128 --> 00:07:11,829
Carrie, I don't know what
you want from me.
121
00:07:11,830 --> 00:07:13,831
I'm just a truck driver,
and I'm fine with that.
122
00:07:13,832 --> 00:07:15,499
Why can't you be?
123
00:07:15,500 --> 00:07:17,852
Because I don't think you're
just a truck driver, Doug.
124
00:07:17,853 --> 00:07:20,621
I think you're
a smart, talented guy
125
00:07:20,622 --> 00:07:23,124
who could do anything
he wants to.
126
00:07:23,125 --> 00:07:26,027
I just wish you
felt the same way.
127
00:07:36,789 --> 00:07:38,323
I did it.
Did what?
128
00:07:38,324 --> 00:07:40,825
I thought about what you said
last night, and you're right.
129
00:07:40,826 --> 00:07:42,443
I shouldn't be afraid
to try something,
130
00:07:42,444 --> 00:07:43,878
so I went out, and I did it.
131
00:07:43,879 --> 00:07:45,663
You took the I.P.S. test?
132
00:07:45,664 --> 00:07:48,499
No, no-
I enrolled in bartending school.
133
00:07:53,188 --> 00:07:54,923
Bartending school?
134
00:07:54,924 --> 00:07:56,291
Yeah,
it's a two-week course.
135
00:07:56,292 --> 00:07:58,192
I already called Paddy
down at Cooper's.
136
00:07:58,193 --> 00:07:59,493
He's gonna give me
some shifts
137
00:07:59,494 --> 00:08:01,396
as soon as I get
my certification.
138
00:08:01,397 --> 00:08:03,080
Doug, you're gonna be
a bartender
139
00:08:03,081 --> 00:08:05,767
and quit your job
at I.P.S.?
140
00:08:05,768 --> 00:08:07,185
No, no, not yet.
But, hey, who knows
141
00:08:07,186 --> 00:08:10,021
where this wild ride
is gonna take us, you know?
142
00:08:10,022 --> 00:08:11,823
You know, I-
I don't want a wild ride.
143
00:08:11,824 --> 00:08:13,607
Maybe someday
we'll have our own bar.
144
00:08:13,608 --> 00:08:14,608
We can call it...
145
00:08:14,609 --> 00:08:16,043
"Doug's Place. "
146
00:08:17,162 --> 00:08:18,530
Slow down, honey-
147
00:08:18,531 --> 00:08:20,264
Or I can change my name
to Melrose,
148
00:08:20,265 --> 00:08:22,867
and we can call it
"Melrose Place. "
149
00:08:22,868 --> 00:08:24,585
Hey, guys.
What's going on?
150
00:08:24,586 --> 00:08:25,569
I'm going back to school.
151
00:08:25,570 --> 00:08:26,788
Oh, great!
152
00:08:26,789 --> 00:08:27,956
Yeah,
bartending school.
153
00:08:27,957 --> 00:08:29,791
Ooh, better yet.
154
00:08:29,792 --> 00:08:32,142
Bravo, Douglas. And while
we're making announcements,
155
00:08:32,143 --> 00:08:35,046
I've decided to run
for senior center president.
156
00:08:35,047 --> 00:08:36,381
Good for you.
157
00:08:36,382 --> 00:08:38,850
Yes. I'm going to end
Barksdale's reign of terror
158
00:08:38,851 --> 00:08:41,185
and begin my own.
159
00:08:41,186 --> 00:08:42,820
All right,
see you guys later.
160
00:08:42,821 --> 00:08:43,888
All right.
161
00:08:43,889 --> 00:08:45,857
Bartender.
162
00:08:45,858 --> 00:08:47,041
Rarr!
163
00:08:51,263 --> 00:08:53,864
Doug,
you have a union job
164
00:08:53,865 --> 00:08:56,234
with a pension
and health benefits.
165
00:08:56,235 --> 00:08:58,102
You can't throw all that away.
That's crazy.
166
00:08:58,103 --> 00:09:01,005
I know it's crazy, but you told
me I'm talented, and I'm great,
167
00:09:01,006 --> 00:09:03,341
and you said I could do
whatever I wanted, right?
168
00:09:03,342 --> 00:09:04,609
Yes.
169
00:09:04,610 --> 00:09:06,326
If you believe in me,
that's all I need.
170
00:09:06,327 --> 00:09:07,562
Mwah! Ha-ha!
171
00:09:10,866 --> 00:09:12,299
Crap.
172
00:09:20,709 --> 00:09:22,643
All right, everybody,
settle down.
173
00:09:26,564 --> 00:09:28,632
So...
174
00:09:28,633 --> 00:09:31,735
you people think you have
what it takes, huh?
175
00:09:33,188 --> 00:09:34,956
Think ya can cut it?
176
00:09:34,957 --> 00:09:37,492
Think ya got
the right stuff?
177
00:09:37,493 --> 00:09:40,194
Is this
the 1-2-3 bartending class?
178
00:09:40,195 --> 00:09:42,246
Get out.
Huh?
179
00:09:42,247 --> 00:09:43,097
Get out!
180
00:09:45,450 --> 00:09:46,784
You thought
this was gonna be easy.
181
00:09:46,785 --> 00:09:48,152
Well, let me tell ya
something.
182
00:09:48,153 --> 00:09:50,154
One out of three of you
ain't gonna make it
183
00:09:50,155 --> 00:09:51,422
through this course.
184
00:09:51,423 --> 00:09:54,092
So I want you to look
at the person to your left
185
00:09:54,093 --> 00:09:56,678
and look at the person
to your right,
186
00:09:56,679 --> 00:09:59,363
because one of those people
ain't gonna be here tomorrow,
187
00:09:59,364 --> 00:10:02,299
and that person could-
188
00:10:02,300 --> 00:10:04,102
Where you lookin', meat?
189
00:10:04,103 --> 00:10:06,771
I, uh- I-I-I didn't have
anybody to my right, so I just-
190
00:10:06,772 --> 00:10:08,306
You- You know what?
I'll go-
191
00:10:08,307 --> 00:10:10,040
Sit down.
I'm gonna sit down.
192
00:10:12,744 --> 00:10:14,312
All right.
193
00:10:14,313 --> 00:10:15,780
Let's dive in.
194
00:10:16,915 --> 00:10:19,083
Rule number one:
195
00:10:19,084 --> 00:10:20,885
A depressed customer
196
00:10:20,886 --> 00:10:23,153
is the best customer.
197
00:11:44,302 --> 00:11:46,537
Good job, huh?
198
00:11:46,538 --> 00:11:48,639
Hey.
199
00:11:50,876 --> 00:11:52,827
I ain't shakin'
your hand, meat.
200
00:11:52,828 --> 00:11:54,078
You're not?
201
00:11:54,079 --> 00:11:55,679
Come here. Ha-ha!
202
00:11:58,533 --> 00:12:00,768
Huh? Hey!
203
00:12:00,769 --> 00:12:02,069
Yeah!
204
00:12:07,292 --> 00:12:10,327
There he is, the smug despot,
drunk with power.
205
00:12:11,980 --> 00:12:13,514
All right, Holly,
206
00:12:13,515 --> 00:12:15,149
you're my campaign manager.
207
00:12:15,150 --> 00:12:16,500
Let's get goin'.
208
00:12:16,501 --> 00:12:19,470
Okay, well, I guess you should
tell people why you're running.
209
00:12:19,471 --> 00:12:20,855
What's your platform?
210
00:12:20,856 --> 00:12:22,290
Essentially,
my platform is
211
00:12:22,291 --> 00:12:24,942
I'd like to be president
very badly.
212
00:12:24,943 --> 00:12:26,677
Okay, but the voters
are gonna wanna know
213
00:12:26,678 --> 00:12:29,080
what you're gonna do
once you're elected.
214
00:12:29,081 --> 00:12:30,514
That's none of their business.
215
00:12:39,675 --> 00:12:41,709
Okay, here we go.
216
00:12:43,628 --> 00:12:45,129
What can I get you?
217
00:12:45,130 --> 00:12:46,430
Uh, club soda, please.
218
00:12:46,431 --> 00:12:48,382
Yeah.
219
00:12:48,383 --> 00:12:49,717
What is it?
220
00:12:49,718 --> 00:12:51,218
Oh, it's just that I...
221
00:12:51,219 --> 00:12:53,187
just graduated
from bartending school,
222
00:12:53,188 --> 00:12:54,806
and you're
my first customer.
223
00:12:54,807 --> 00:12:56,057
Well, that's great.
224
00:12:56,058 --> 00:12:57,391
Yeah, I was kind of hoping
225
00:12:57,392 --> 00:12:59,093
that my first drink
would be memorable.
226
00:12:59,094 --> 00:13:03,097
You know, like a mai tai
or a Bermuda rum swizzle.
227
00:13:03,098 --> 00:13:04,898
Yeah. Uh, look, I- I-
228
00:13:04,899 --> 00:13:07,601
I got a little drinking problem,
you know, so I'd-
229
00:13:07,602 --> 00:13:09,403
I'd just rather not, yeah.
230
00:13:09,404 --> 00:13:12,139
Guy, just one.
231
00:13:15,377 --> 00:13:17,345
Double scotch, neat.
232
00:13:17,346 --> 00:13:18,529
There you go.
233
00:13:22,217 --> 00:13:24,051
Alrighty.
234
00:13:38,566 --> 00:13:40,001
Oh, yeah.
235
00:13:44,806 --> 00:13:46,190
Hey, what can I get
for ya?
236
00:13:46,191 --> 00:13:47,424
Just a Bud Light.
237
00:13:47,425 --> 00:13:48,976
Uh, you know I do serve
238
00:13:48,977 --> 00:13:51,612
16 kinds of beer
from Europe, heh.
239
00:13:51,613 --> 00:13:53,113
Great.
You're a regular Epcot Center.
240
00:13:53,114 --> 00:13:54,782
Just give me a Bud Light.
241
00:13:54,783 --> 00:13:56,250
Comin' right up.
242
00:13:56,251 --> 00:13:57,985
Here we go.
243
00:13:57,986 --> 00:13:58,986
Oh.
244
00:13:58,987 --> 00:14:00,321
All right.
245
00:14:00,322 --> 00:14:02,689
Ahem.
Okay, uh- Whoa!
246
00:14:02,690 --> 00:14:04,758
Okay. Whoa-ho. That's, uh-
That's half price,
247
00:14:04,759 --> 00:14:07,128
that one right there.
That's half price.
248
00:14:07,129 --> 00:14:08,729
I mean,
I just don't know what to do.
249
00:14:08,730 --> 00:14:12,032
Should I talk to Steve?
Should I not talk to Steve?
250
00:14:12,033 --> 00:14:13,800
I mean,
is he ever gonna change?
251
00:14:14,936 --> 00:14:17,104
Uh, you know,
ladies,
252
00:14:17,105 --> 00:14:19,023
those drinks come
with free advice,
253
00:14:19,024 --> 00:14:21,058
and man problems...
254
00:14:21,059 --> 00:14:22,826
is my specialty.
255
00:14:22,827 --> 00:14:24,228
Oh.
256
00:14:24,229 --> 00:14:25,862
Well, can you tell me
how to get my husband
257
00:14:25,863 --> 00:14:27,697
to stop sleeping
with every woman he meets
258
00:14:27,698 --> 00:14:30,501
and spend about 10 minutes
with his own son?
259
00:14:30,502 --> 00:14:34,271
No, but let me set you ladies up
with some beer nuts.
260
00:14:51,673 --> 00:14:53,391
Hey.
261
00:14:53,392 --> 00:14:54,892
So... how'd it go?
262
00:14:54,893 --> 00:14:56,426
I did good.
263
00:14:56,427 --> 00:14:57,678
Great.
264
00:14:57,679 --> 00:15:00,330
I'm officially
a bartender's wife.
265
00:15:00,331 --> 00:15:04,402
Just what I've always wanted,
a husband who reeks of olives.
266
00:15:04,403 --> 00:15:07,020
Actually, you're gonna
have that either way.
267
00:15:09,074 --> 00:15:10,808
But don't worry.
I'm giving up bartending.
268
00:15:10,809 --> 00:15:12,176
I'm gonna stick with I.P.S.
269
00:15:12,177 --> 00:15:13,394
Really?
Yeah.
270
00:15:13,395 --> 00:15:14,545
I don't know.
All these years,
271
00:15:14,546 --> 00:15:16,747
I built up bartending to be
such this magical thing.
272
00:15:16,748 --> 00:15:18,282
You know,
it turns out it's just a-
273
00:15:18,283 --> 00:15:20,034
Another stupid job.
274
00:15:20,035 --> 00:15:21,802
I'll tell ya,
I'm glad I did it, though,
275
00:15:21,803 --> 00:15:25,773
'cause 15 years ago, oh,
I screwed up bigtime, you know?
276
00:15:25,774 --> 00:15:28,042
And tonight I just proved
that I could do it, you know?
277
00:15:28,043 --> 00:15:30,044
I- I just conquered my demon.
278
00:15:38,303 --> 00:15:39,870
Did you, uh...
279
00:15:39,871 --> 00:15:42,556
make this all tonight
in tips?
280
00:15:42,557 --> 00:15:44,291
Actually, more.
On the way home,
281
00:15:44,292 --> 00:15:46,760
I hit an Arby's drive-through
pretty hard.
282
00:15:48,012 --> 00:15:49,446
Are you sure
you're not giving up
283
00:15:49,447 --> 00:15:51,699
on this bartending thing
a little too soon?
284
00:15:51,700 --> 00:15:54,068
What are you talking about?
You said it was a dumb idea.
285
00:15:54,069 --> 00:15:55,686
Yeah,
but that was before... eh!
286
00:15:55,687 --> 00:15:57,088
I mean...
287
00:15:57,089 --> 00:15:58,722
honey, if you can make all this
288
00:15:58,723 --> 00:16:01,192
in one night
in some crappy bar in Queens,
289
00:16:01,193 --> 00:16:03,094
just think what you can make
in Manhattan.
290
00:16:03,095 --> 00:16:05,696
As a matter of fact, there's
a bar next-door to where I work.
291
00:16:05,697 --> 00:16:07,798
I know the owner.
I can get you in there.
292
00:16:07,799 --> 00:16:09,583
No, that's it.
I'm done with this whole thing.
293
00:16:09,584 --> 00:16:11,585
I'm over it.
I conquered my demon.
294
00:16:11,586 --> 00:16:13,454
I don't think you did.
What are ya-?
295
00:16:15,457 --> 00:16:16,623
What are you talkin' about?
296
00:16:16,624 --> 00:16:18,476
I conquered the crap
out of it.
297
00:16:18,477 --> 00:16:21,495
No. No, I don't think you-
You conquered your demon at all.
298
00:16:21,496 --> 00:16:22,997
You know,
now that I think about it,
299
00:16:22,998 --> 00:16:25,850
your demon
wasn't not trying,
300
00:16:25,851 --> 00:16:27,351
you know,
it was quitting.
301
00:16:27,352 --> 00:16:28,952
Yeah, that's your demon
right there.
302
00:16:28,953 --> 00:16:30,321
Quitter.
303
00:16:30,322 --> 00:16:31,705
No, no, no,
that's not my demon.
304
00:16:31,706 --> 00:16:34,608
I'll tell ya what my demon is.
My demon is you.
305
00:16:34,609 --> 00:16:37,110
Come on, Doug. All we've been
talking about is your dreams.
306
00:16:37,111 --> 00:16:38,312
What about my dreams?
307
00:16:38,313 --> 00:16:40,080
I've always wanted
to live in Manhattan,
308
00:16:40,081 --> 00:16:41,765
If we had more money,
we could do that.
309
00:16:41,766 --> 00:16:44,185
Look, I want you
to be happy, okay?
310
00:16:44,186 --> 00:16:46,487
Maybe I'll-
I'll take that I.P.S. test,
311
00:16:46,488 --> 00:16:48,155
and I can move up
through the company-
312
00:16:48,156 --> 00:16:50,074
Okay, you know what?
If I hear one more word
313
00:16:50,075 --> 00:16:53,044
about that stupid I.P.S. test,
I'm gonna puke.
314
00:16:54,679 --> 00:16:56,464
Come on, honey.
We could do this.
315
00:16:56,465 --> 00:16:57,898
I mean,
we'll have my salary.
316
00:16:57,899 --> 00:17:01,102
You'll be working in the bar
four or five times a week.
317
00:17:01,103 --> 00:17:04,388
In this dream, uh,
am I also working at I.P.S.?
318
00:17:04,389 --> 00:17:06,740
Manhattan ain't cheap, babe.
Okay?
319
00:17:06,741 --> 00:17:08,275
This is a whole new life for us!
320
00:17:08,276 --> 00:17:09,876
Yeah, but if I'm working
all the time,
321
00:17:09,877 --> 00:17:11,112
you'll never see me.
322
00:17:11,113 --> 00:17:13,230
Yeah,
but I'll have eh-heh!
323
00:17:17,819 --> 00:17:20,220
Thank you very much.
324
00:17:20,221 --> 00:17:21,855
Ah, Josephine,
my dear,
325
00:17:21,856 --> 00:17:24,075
I hope I can count
on your vote.
326
00:17:24,076 --> 00:17:26,309
Oh, well, actually I'm voting
for Mr. Barksdale.
327
00:17:26,310 --> 00:17:29,380
I think he's doing
a very nice job.
328
00:17:29,381 --> 00:17:30,664
I see.
329
00:17:30,665 --> 00:17:33,701
Welcome
to my enemies list.
330
00:17:34,803 --> 00:17:36,504
Spooner.
331
00:17:36,505 --> 00:17:39,807
I understand you've
been questioning my war record.
332
00:17:39,808 --> 00:17:41,592
I just think people
have a right to know
333
00:17:41,593 --> 00:17:44,395
why you didn't serve
in Vietnam.
334
00:17:44,396 --> 00:17:46,347
Because I was 60.
335
00:17:47,382 --> 00:17:50,083
Sixty or just plain yella?
336
00:17:52,120 --> 00:17:53,453
How are we doing
in the polls?
337
00:17:53,454 --> 00:17:55,623
Ten people say
they're gonna vote for you,
338
00:17:55,624 --> 00:17:58,508
16 for Barksdale,
and three for McGovern.
339
00:18:00,378 --> 00:18:01,862
There's my problem.
340
00:18:01,863 --> 00:18:04,748
He's got the black vote
all sewn up.
341
00:18:04,749 --> 00:18:06,866
Not much you can do
about that.
342
00:18:08,369 --> 00:18:10,804
Or... is there?
343
00:18:16,578 --> 00:18:17,561
Hey,
what's going on?
344
00:18:17,562 --> 00:18:19,380
You said there was
some sort of emergency.
345
00:18:19,381 --> 00:18:21,615
Ah, Deacon,
slap it high.
346
00:18:23,101 --> 00:18:24,435
What?
How's by you,
347
00:18:24,436 --> 00:18:27,654
my talented
and very equal friend?
348
00:18:29,056 --> 00:18:31,642
Wh-what exactly
is the emergency?
349
00:18:31,643 --> 00:18:33,860
Well, actually it was
an emergency of the heart.
350
00:18:33,861 --> 00:18:35,996
I haven't seen you
since the Million Man March,
351
00:18:35,997 --> 00:18:37,264
and I need a hug.
352
00:18:38,366 --> 00:18:39,466
Now.
353
00:18:41,403 --> 00:18:42,736
What the hell's goin' on?
354
00:18:42,737 --> 00:18:45,121
All right, look, I'm running
for senior center president,
355
00:18:45,122 --> 00:18:46,824
and I need the black vote
to win.
356
00:18:46,825 --> 00:18:48,775
Play ball,
and you and your family
357
00:18:48,776 --> 00:18:51,662
will have powdered milk
for the rest of your lives.
358
00:18:51,663 --> 00:18:55,916
What? Do you know
how insulting this is?
359
00:18:55,917 --> 00:18:57,150
Hey, everybody,
360
00:18:57,151 --> 00:18:59,620
Arthur Spooner
is a bad man.
361
00:19:01,489 --> 00:19:04,658
You hear that, everyone?
I'm bad!
362
00:19:19,824 --> 00:19:20,991
They keep coming!
363
00:19:20,992 --> 00:19:22,993
Why is everyone so thirsty?
364
00:19:22,994 --> 00:19:26,947
You're doing great, just move
a little faster, honey.
365
00:19:26,948 --> 00:19:30,450
Hey.
Great bartender, huh?
366
00:19:30,451 --> 00:19:31,919
Cute too,
don't you think?
367
00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:33,753
He's kinda sweaty.
368
00:19:33,754 --> 00:19:35,389
And I ain't hatin' it.
369
00:19:37,425 --> 00:19:39,343
Whoa.
Fifty-cent tip.
370
00:19:39,344 --> 00:19:42,946
How am I gonna get
to Manhattan with that?
371
00:19:45,884 --> 00:19:48,802
Doug, do that.
Do what he's doing.
372
00:19:48,803 --> 00:19:50,003
What?
373
00:19:50,004 --> 00:19:51,522
Do the bottle flip.
374
00:19:51,523 --> 00:19:53,490
The only time I did that move
was in class,
375
00:19:53,491 --> 00:19:55,959
and it was
with a Nerf bottle.
376
00:19:55,960 --> 00:19:57,861
Do it for me, baby,
please?
377
00:20:00,681 --> 00:20:01,932
Hey!
378
00:20:19,183 --> 00:20:20,951
Okay.
379
00:20:20,952 --> 00:20:24,788
So the bartending didn't
work out as well as we hoped.
380
00:20:24,789 --> 00:20:27,358
But you're still great,
381
00:20:27,359 --> 00:20:29,393
and you're still talented.
382
00:20:30,478 --> 00:20:31,578
Okay, you know what?
383
00:20:31,579 --> 00:20:33,914
Tomorrow morning,
you are gonna march in there,
384
00:20:33,915 --> 00:20:36,049
and you are gonna take
that I.P.S. test,
385
00:20:36,050 --> 00:20:38,218
and you're gonna show 'em
what's what.
386
00:20:38,519 --> 00:20:40,037
Oh.
Yeah.
387
00:20:41,539 --> 00:20:44,841
"Employee demonstrates
no special skills
388
00:20:44,842 --> 00:20:46,977
"or potential
for advancement.
389
00:20:46,978 --> 00:20:49,213
"His qualifications
for his current job
390
00:20:49,214 --> 00:20:51,148
are questionable
at best. "
391
00:20:53,351 --> 00:20:54,784
Well...
392
00:20:55,519 --> 00:20:57,254
now we know.
393
00:21:02,293 --> 00:21:04,261
Spooner.
394
00:21:04,262 --> 00:21:05,295
Hello, Barksdale.
395
00:21:06,965 --> 00:21:09,099
Congratulations
on your unanimous victory.
396
00:21:10,552 --> 00:21:13,354
I hope we can put
all this ugliness behind us.
397
00:21:13,355 --> 00:21:14,454
'Fraid not.
398
00:21:24,649 --> 00:21:26,549
Just not
in the face.
28207
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