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1
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♪♪
2
00:00:13,213 --> 00:00:18,709
♪ I bet we've been
together for a million years ♪
3
00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:24,382
♪ And I bet we'll be
together for a million more ♪
4
00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:26,824
♪ Oh, it's like I
started breathing ♪
5
00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:29,623
♪ On the night we kissed ♪
6
00:00:29,763 --> 00:00:34,861
♪ And I can't remember
what I ever did before ♪
7
00:00:35,002 --> 00:00:40,839
♪ What would we do,
baby, without us? ♪
8
00:00:40,974 --> 00:00:46,174
♪ What would we do,
baby, without us? ♪
9
00:00:46,313 --> 00:00:52,253
♪ And there ain't no nothing we
can't love each other through ♪
10
00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:57,450
♪ What would we do,
baby, without us? ♪
11
00:00:57,591 --> 00:01:00,390
♪ Sha-la-la-la. ♪
12
00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:11,872
Come on, Alex, can't
you give us a hand?
13
00:01:12,005 --> 00:01:13,234
Sorry, Mom,
14
00:01:13,373 --> 00:01:14,864
it just seems kind of silly
15
00:01:15,008 --> 00:01:16,567
to clean up before
company comes.
16
00:01:16,710 --> 00:01:18,270
I mean, it's just gonna
get messy again.
17
00:01:18,345 --> 00:01:20,590
Come on, your cousin June
hasn't been here in three years.
18
00:01:20,614 --> 00:01:22,294
I don't want her coming
into a messy house.
19
00:01:22,349 --> 00:01:26,309
Why? It was messy when she left.
20
00:01:26,453 --> 00:01:28,513
I just got off the
phone with Jennifer.
21
00:01:28,655 --> 00:01:30,886
She's still at Adam's house
doing the science project.
22
00:01:31,024 --> 00:01:32,458
She said she'll be here soon.
23
00:01:32,593 --> 00:01:34,118
I wonder what's
taking them so long.
24
00:01:34,261 --> 00:01:35,972
They should've finished
that science project by now.
25
00:01:35,996 --> 00:01:38,659
Yeah, well, they're trying
to get fruit flies to mate
26
00:01:38,799 --> 00:01:40,859
and it's taking longer
than they thought.
27
00:01:41,001 --> 00:01:43,197
You know, I'm a little
offended by that project.
28
00:01:43,337 --> 00:01:44,777
I mean, I think
Jennifer should learn
29
00:01:44,805 --> 00:01:48,173
about fruit flies on
the street like I did.
30
00:01:48,308 --> 00:01:50,300
I wish she'd hurry because
your father and June
31
00:01:50,444 --> 00:01:52,470
should be back from the
airport any minute now.
32
00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:54,973
They probably stopped off for
a good ol' American hamburger.
33
00:01:55,082 --> 00:01:57,415
You know, that English
food's pretty disgusting.
34
00:01:57,551 --> 00:01:59,645
That's a very narrow view, Alex.
35
00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:01,097
Just because English
food is different than ours
36
00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:02,350
doesn't mean it's terrible.
37
00:02:02,489 --> 00:02:04,329
Come on, Ma, how would
you characterize a place
38
00:02:04,391 --> 00:02:08,158
that serves ox tails and
kidney pies for breakfast?
39
00:02:08,295 --> 00:02:10,457
Disgusting.
40
00:02:10,597 --> 00:02:12,225
I mean "different," hey.
41
00:02:12,366 --> 00:02:13,994
I'm so excited
that June's coming.
42
00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:16,899
I can't imagine what it's
like to study in England.
43
00:02:17,037 --> 00:02:20,132
You don't even know what
it's like to study in America.
44
00:02:20,273 --> 00:02:21,798
- Hey, look who's here.
- Hi, hi!
45
00:02:21,942 --> 00:02:24,434
- Hi, June, hi! -Hi. How are you?
- Hey.
46
00:02:24,578 --> 00:02:25,578
There she is.
47
00:02:25,712 --> 00:02:26,941
- Hi, June.
- Hi.
48
00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:29,379
Sorry, we're late... We
stopped off for hamburgers.
49
00:02:29,516 --> 00:02:31,883
Yeah, I couldn't wait...
English food is disgusting.
50
00:02:32,019 --> 00:02:33,715
Nah, it's just different.
51
00:02:33,854 --> 00:02:35,083
June, you look great. Come on.
52
00:02:35,222 --> 00:02:37,487
Oh, thanks. All you do, too.
53
00:02:37,624 --> 00:02:39,616
The baby. Oh.
54
00:02:41,595 --> 00:02:42,790
- Is that Andrew?
- Yeah.
55
00:02:42,929 --> 00:02:44,898
Hi.
56
00:02:45,032 --> 00:02:46,625
Oh, he's so cute.
57
00:02:46,767 --> 00:02:48,793
- Where's Jennifer?
- Oh, she'll be here soon.
58
00:02:48,935 --> 00:02:50,480
She's at her boyfriend's
house studying.
59
00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:51,995
Oh, I'm so excited you're here.
60
00:02:52,139 --> 00:02:53,437
Oh, are you kidding?
61
00:02:53,573 --> 00:02:55,585
You think I'd miss a chance
to brag all about my trip?
62
00:02:55,609 --> 00:02:57,202
Well, sit down and brag.
63
00:02:57,344 --> 00:02:58,778
Come on, what was London like?
64
00:02:58,912 --> 00:03:01,108
Yeah, did you take
advantage of the strong dollar?
65
00:03:01,248 --> 00:03:02,341
Did you meet the queen?
66
00:03:02,482 --> 00:03:03,643
Yeah, I love monarchies.
67
00:03:03,784 --> 00:03:05,728
Hey, come on, come on,
give her a chance to answer.
68
00:03:05,752 --> 00:03:07,015
Thank you, Steven.
69
00:03:07,154 --> 00:03:08,417
Uh, I brought some pictures
70
00:03:08,555 --> 00:03:10,421
and I'm anxious to tell
you all about my trip.
71
00:03:10,557 --> 00:03:12,101
Great, we want
to hear all about it.
72
00:03:12,125 --> 00:03:14,856
Well, a lot of things
happened in three years.
73
00:03:14,995 --> 00:03:17,863
Mm, you're telling us.
74
00:03:17,998 --> 00:03:19,261
I don't know where to start.
75
00:03:19,399 --> 00:03:20,924
Well, how about the boys?
76
00:03:21,068 --> 00:03:23,628
Well, I did meet a
couple of cute boys.
77
00:03:23,770 --> 00:03:27,332
And I got their
pictures right here.
78
00:03:27,474 --> 00:03:30,103
I knew it. Did you date any
princes or dukes or anything?
79
00:03:30,243 --> 00:03:32,474
- No, just commoners.
- Oh.
80
00:03:32,612 --> 00:03:33,875
You know, it's funny.
81
00:03:34,014 --> 00:03:36,779
When I got to England, I
wasn't that interested in boys,
82
00:03:36,917 --> 00:03:39,409
but, uh, now they're
not so bad, you know?
83
00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:41,454
Thanks, we try.
84
00:03:41,588 --> 00:03:43,079
Well, I guess
we're all changing.
85
00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:45,351
I mean, here we are...
86
00:03:45,492 --> 00:03:47,324
and Jennifer's out with a boy.
87
00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:50,288
I guess she's really
growing up, huh?
88
00:03:50,430 --> 00:03:53,730
Well... yes and no.
89
00:04:05,312 --> 00:04:06,712
Jennifer!
90
00:04:06,847 --> 00:04:10,147
Good evening, Scott.
I thought I'd join you.
91
00:04:10,283 --> 00:04:14,778
Mallory! How nice to see you.
92
00:04:18,325 --> 00:04:19,987
Hi, Jen.
93
00:04:20,127 --> 00:04:21,993
Jennifer, why are
you dressed this way?
94
00:04:22,129 --> 00:04:24,598
I'm a woman of
many moods, Scott...
95
00:04:24,731 --> 00:04:26,825
Young and playful one moment,
96
00:04:26,967 --> 00:04:31,632
sophisticated and
deadly serious the next.
97
00:04:36,243 --> 00:04:37,267
Hey!
98
00:04:37,410 --> 00:04:39,072
Uh...
99
00:04:39,212 --> 00:04:41,238
Jennifer, this is
a table for two.
100
00:04:41,381 --> 00:04:43,441
I'm sure you can make
room for your sister.
101
00:04:43,583 --> 00:04:44,710
Well, Scott,
102
00:04:44,851 --> 00:04:46,114
what do you recommend?
103
00:04:46,253 --> 00:04:48,453
The last time I was here, I
found the pizza with bologna
104
00:04:48,488 --> 00:04:51,287
very much to my liking.
105
00:04:51,424 --> 00:04:53,256
Shall I go for it again?
106
00:04:53,393 --> 00:04:54,971
I don't get it... Is this
a joke or something?
107
00:04:54,995 --> 00:04:59,433
I'm deadly serious, Scott,
pizza with bologna or not?
108
00:04:59,566 --> 00:05:01,057
Jen, we already ordered.
109
00:05:01,201 --> 00:05:03,067
Mallory, Scott
needs his strength.
110
00:05:03,203 --> 00:05:06,230
He has "Mormons"
coursing through his veins.
111
00:05:10,844 --> 00:05:13,040
What?
112
00:05:13,180 --> 00:05:16,548
They'll be no talking about
baseball tonight, Scott.
113
00:05:16,683 --> 00:05:20,381
Know what I mean?
114
00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:22,148
Not really.
115
00:05:22,289 --> 00:05:25,282
You'll find tonight that I can
be as soft as the next girl.
116
00:05:25,425 --> 00:05:29,192
Buy you a drink?
117
00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:30,820
Uh...
118
00:05:30,964 --> 00:05:34,059
All right, Jen, uh,
come here for a minute.
119
00:05:34,201 --> 00:05:36,500
Mallory, you're making
a spectacle of yourself.
120
00:05:36,636 --> 00:05:39,265
Hey, listen, I think we
ought to take you home now.
121
00:05:39,406 --> 00:05:40,772
I don't need you
to take me home.
122
00:05:40,907 --> 00:05:44,901
- Jennifer...
- Stop...
123
00:05:45,045 --> 00:05:46,411
Are you okay, little girl?
124
00:05:46,546 --> 00:05:49,311
I'm fine, and I'm
not a little girl.
125
00:05:49,449 --> 00:05:51,441
Waiter, my bike.
126
00:05:57,891 --> 00:05:59,951
Yeah, she was
really embarrassed.
127
00:06:00,093 --> 00:06:01,356
Ah, poor kid.
128
00:06:01,494 --> 00:06:03,472
I had to convince her that
making a fool out of yourself
129
00:06:03,496 --> 00:06:05,590
is part of life when
you're growing up.
130
00:06:05,732 --> 00:06:08,861
It's even part of life
after you've grown up.
131
00:06:09,002 --> 00:06:10,479
Yeah, I know I matured
a lot over the years.
132
00:06:10,503 --> 00:06:11,368
When I think back...
133
00:06:11,504 --> 00:06:12,784
Uh, June, why don't you
134
00:06:12,873 --> 00:06:15,365
just show us the pictures
and tell us about your trip?
135
00:06:15,508 --> 00:06:18,171
Let's face it, I mean,
maturity and I are no strangers.
136
00:06:18,311 --> 00:06:20,246
Alex, who are you
kidding? I'm the mature one.
137
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:22,291
- You? You don't even know...
- Oh, come on, guys.
138
00:06:22,315 --> 00:06:23,860
June's trying to
tell us about her trip.
139
00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:24,884
- Right.
- Sorry.
140
00:06:25,018 --> 00:06:26,543
Anyway, the more I was
141
00:06:26,686 --> 00:06:28,587
on my own, I found that...
142
00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:30,433
I think Mom and Dad know that
they don't have to worry about
143
00:06:30,457 --> 00:06:33,222
my being responsible
even when they're not home.
144
00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:35,304
That's because I'm in
charge when they're not home.
145
00:06:35,328 --> 00:06:38,696
Oh, yeah, and he
always does a great job.
146
00:06:38,832 --> 00:06:41,165
So, uh, nobody
else is home, then?
147
00:06:41,301 --> 00:06:45,033
Nope, just you and me.
148
00:06:45,171 --> 00:06:47,106
Maybe I should leave.
149
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:49,232
I don't think so.
150
00:06:51,778 --> 00:06:53,041
Mallory.
151
00:06:53,179 --> 00:06:54,490
I made her do it,
Alex... I'm an animal.
152
00:06:54,514 --> 00:06:56,813
I don't deserve to live.
153
00:06:56,950 --> 00:06:58,851
Where's Jennifer?
154
00:06:58,985 --> 00:07:00,180
I thought she was with you.
155
00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:01,464
I got caught up in the moment.
156
00:07:01,488 --> 00:07:03,184
I-I couldn't control myself.
157
00:07:03,323 --> 00:07:04,323
Jeff.
158
00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:05,517
I'm not usually like this
159
00:07:05,659 --> 00:07:07,457
but when I'm around
Mallory, I go crazy.
160
00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:11,053
Jeff, calm down, we've
got other problems here.
161
00:07:11,197 --> 00:07:12,825
I lost Jennifer.
162
00:07:12,966 --> 00:07:14,877
I thought you took her to
the card game with you!
163
00:07:14,901 --> 00:07:18,030
I-I did, but-but while I was
playing, she just wandered off.
164
00:07:18,171 --> 00:07:19,469
Oh, no.
165
00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:22,166
Mom and Dad came to
the card game to get her.
166
00:07:22,309 --> 00:07:23,436
Oh, no.
167
00:07:23,576 --> 00:07:24,703
They're right behind me.
168
00:07:24,844 --> 00:07:28,212
I had to drive on the
sidewalk to beat them home.
169
00:07:28,348 --> 00:07:31,216
Maybe Jennifer came home
and she's upstairs sleeping.
170
00:07:31,351 --> 00:07:32,351
I hope you're right.
171
00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:34,284
I'll look.
172
00:07:34,421 --> 00:07:38,882
Um, I kind of told my parents
that Jennifer was with you,
173
00:07:39,025 --> 00:07:41,620
so I'd appreciate
it if-if you'd...
174
00:07:41,761 --> 00:07:42,761
Lie.
175
00:07:42,896 --> 00:07:44,831
That about says it, yeah.
176
00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:46,365
Sure, Alex, if you want me to.
177
00:07:46,499 --> 00:07:48,491
Look, if Jennifer's not home,
178
00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:50,112
maybe you and I
should go look for her.
179
00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:51,195
We both got cars.
180
00:07:51,338 --> 00:07:53,136
Good idea.
181
00:07:53,273 --> 00:07:55,640
Jeff, thank you
for your support.
182
00:07:55,775 --> 00:07:56,775
I'm glad you're here.
183
00:07:56,910 --> 00:07:58,879
Not at all.
184
00:08:06,286 --> 00:08:07,686
Well, you're
certainly not the two
185
00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:10,347
I expected to see on the couch.
186
00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:13,324
Yeah, that was real
responsible, Alex.
187
00:08:13,460 --> 00:08:14,928
Losing Jennifer in a card game?
188
00:08:15,061 --> 00:08:17,462
I had a straight flush... I
mean, what would you do?
189
00:08:19,099 --> 00:08:21,091
All right, okay, I got
a little carried away.
190
00:08:21,234 --> 00:08:24,636
I believe June was trying
to tell us about her trip.
191
00:08:24,771 --> 00:08:26,637
What trip?
192
00:08:26,773 --> 00:08:28,833
Oh, right, right, well.
193
00:08:28,975 --> 00:08:32,878
Well, the second day I was
there, I met this terrific guy.
194
00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:34,948
I've got his picture
right here, he's so...
195
00:08:35,081 --> 00:08:36,413
Okay, all right, I admit
196
00:08:36,549 --> 00:08:38,709
I should've been thinking
a little more about Jennifer,
197
00:08:38,785 --> 00:08:40,219
but it was a momentary lapse.
198
00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:43,118
I mean, I matured
a lot since then.
199
00:08:43,256 --> 00:08:44,747
In fact, in some
ways I'm so mature
200
00:08:44,891 --> 00:08:47,827
that I've outgrown a lot
of people my own age.
201
00:08:47,961 --> 00:08:49,862
You've been wondering
about my age all evening,
202
00:08:49,996 --> 00:08:51,055
haven't you, Alex?
203
00:08:51,197 --> 00:08:53,428
Oh, no, your age?
204
00:08:53,566 --> 00:08:56,400
No, your age never-never
entered my mind.
205
00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:58,801
How old do you think I am?
206
00:08:58,938 --> 00:09:01,134
Oh, I don't know, uh...
207
00:09:01,274 --> 00:09:02,799
I'd say...
208
00:09:02,942 --> 00:09:06,811
about years old.
209
00:09:06,946 --> 00:09:09,745
I'll be 40 in July.
210
00:09:10,817 --> 00:09:13,753
I'll be 29 in March.
211
00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:17,756
My, my... and
still in high school.
212
00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:21,089
Well, I'm a veteran, you know.
213
00:09:22,262 --> 00:09:24,925
Okay, I'm-I'm 17.
214
00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:27,261
But they've been
17 very full years.
215
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:28,459
Alex,
216
00:09:28,601 --> 00:09:31,366
chronological age
means nothing to me.
217
00:09:31,504 --> 00:09:34,599
I like that in a woman.
218
00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:35,936
Hey, you want to dance?
219
00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:38,068
I thought you'd never ask.
220
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:49,715
Hey, you're good.
221
00:09:49,856 --> 00:09:51,552
- Thank you.
- No, thank you.
222
00:09:51,691 --> 00:09:53,683
No, thank you.
223
00:10:06,239 --> 00:10:08,538
Oh, Mom, Dad.
224
00:10:08,675 --> 00:10:11,338
Alex, uh, where's your, um...
225
00:10:11,478 --> 00:10:13,538
Uh, uh, I-I mean is...
226
00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:16,206
Is this your...
227
00:10:16,349 --> 00:10:18,341
Who's this?
228
00:10:23,323 --> 00:10:24,323
Oh, I'm-I'm sorry.
229
00:10:24,424 --> 00:10:28,361
Mom, Dad, this is,
uh, Lorraine Ferrar.
230
00:10:28,495 --> 00:10:30,020
My date.
231
00:10:30,163 --> 00:10:33,930
She's his date, Steven.
232
00:10:34,067 --> 00:10:35,194
Hello.
233
00:10:35,335 --> 00:10:38,772
Yes, it-it certainly
is nice to meet you.
234
00:10:38,905 --> 00:10:40,874
Yes, I'll say.
235
00:10:41,007 --> 00:10:45,035
Hey, hey, you
kids want to dance?
236
00:10:45,178 --> 00:10:46,338
We'll just roll back the rug.
237
00:10:46,379 --> 00:10:47,244
Nope.
238
00:10:47,380 --> 00:10:49,008
I don't think so.
239
00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:52,210
Do you think so, Steven?
240
00:10:52,352 --> 00:10:53,684
Are you talking to me?
241
00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:57,882
Oh, no, uh, no, uh, no,
no-no dancing for us.
242
00:10:58,024 --> 00:11:02,587
No, no, um...
243
00:11:02,729 --> 00:11:05,392
Good night.
244
00:11:05,532 --> 00:11:07,524
Yeah, that's good.
245
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:09,260
Good night.
246
00:11:10,870 --> 00:11:11,929
Good night.
247
00:11:44,170 --> 00:11:46,036
What ever happened
to Lorraine, Alex?
248
00:11:46,172 --> 00:11:49,336
Ah, Lorraine and I kind
of lost track of each other.
249
00:11:49,475 --> 00:11:50,715
Maybe I should give her a call.
250
00:11:50,743 --> 00:11:52,507
Forget it, Alex.
251
00:11:53,646 --> 00:11:55,672
Ah, that could be her now.
252
00:11:56,983 --> 00:11:58,383
Hello?
253
00:11:58,518 --> 00:12:00,953
Oh, yes, Jennifer, June's here.
254
00:12:01,087 --> 00:12:02,282
Uh...
255
00:12:02,422 --> 00:12:04,357
All right, I see. All right.
256
00:12:04,490 --> 00:12:05,514
I'll tell her.
257
00:12:05,658 --> 00:12:06,921
Bye-bye.
258
00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:08,392
That was Jennifer.
259
00:12:08,528 --> 00:12:09,962
She sends you her best, June.
260
00:12:10,096 --> 00:12:11,860
She'll be here just
as soon as she can.
261
00:12:11,998 --> 00:12:14,126
Apparently the female
fruit fly is not in the mood.
262
00:12:14,267 --> 00:12:15,633
What are they going to do,
263
00:12:15,768 --> 00:12:18,328
put on some Johnny
Mathis records?
264
00:12:18,471 --> 00:12:20,531
Chances are.
265
00:12:20,673 --> 00:12:22,751
Look, June, why don't you
show us some more pictures?
266
00:12:22,775 --> 00:12:26,439
Well, I do have some
beautiful shots of Florence.
267
00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:27,774
Florence who?
268
00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:30,179
Mallory, Florence
is a city in Italy.
269
00:12:30,316 --> 00:12:32,182
It's not a person.
270
00:12:32,318 --> 00:12:34,219
Actually, Alex,
Florence is a person.
271
00:12:34,354 --> 00:12:36,550
Florence Weldon.
272
00:12:36,689 --> 00:12:40,023
See, Alex, Florence
is not a city in Italy.
273
00:12:40,159 --> 00:12:41,650
Florence and I went to Paris,
274
00:12:41,794 --> 00:12:43,854
and we stayed in this really
cute bed-and-breakfast.
275
00:12:43,997 --> 00:12:45,625
What's a bed-and-breakfast?
276
00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:47,666
A bed is something you sleep in.
277
00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:50,668
Breakfast is something
you have in the morning.
278
00:12:50,803 --> 00:12:52,431
It's like a small hotel, Mal.
279
00:12:52,572 --> 00:12:54,905
In Europe, a lot of people
rent out rooms in their houses.
280
00:12:55,041 --> 00:12:56,552
Oh, we were there
during the tourist season,
281
00:12:56,576 --> 00:12:58,169
so, I mean, it got pretty wild.
282
00:12:58,311 --> 00:13:00,256
Some nights, we had 50
people staying in the house.
283
00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:01,805
Whoa.
284
00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:03,917
I guess that doesn't happen
too much here in Ohio.
285
00:13:04,050 --> 00:13:06,485
Oh, I don't know about that.
286
00:13:08,354 --> 00:13:10,289
I hope you don't mind.
I invited a few people.
287
00:13:10,423 --> 00:13:12,119
Uh, mind? As a matter of fact...
288
00:13:16,663 --> 00:13:18,655
All right, okay.
289
00:13:23,136 --> 00:13:24,502
Hey, what are you doing?
290
00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:26,477
We did it. We captured
the other team's mascot.
291
00:13:26,539 --> 00:13:28,940
We got the Crawford Kangaroo.
292
00:13:31,611 --> 00:13:35,241
Uh...
293
00:13:35,381 --> 00:13:37,247
Can you believe this?
294
00:13:37,383 --> 00:13:39,443
They captured the
Crawford Kangaroo.
295
00:13:39,585 --> 00:13:42,680
This is a day we
will never forget.
296
00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:44,814
I'm home.
297
00:13:50,463 --> 00:13:52,091
Hi, Dad.
298
00:13:52,231 --> 00:13:53,460
How was your trip?
299
00:13:53,599 --> 00:13:57,001
It's so nice to see you.
300
00:13:57,136 --> 00:14:00,971
What is going on here?
301
00:14:01,107 --> 00:14:02,507
Now, Dad, uh...
302
00:14:02,642 --> 00:14:05,874
don't go jumping
to any conclusions.
303
00:14:06,012 --> 00:14:07,878
Whoa!
304
00:14:08,014 --> 00:14:10,745
Alex,
305
00:14:10,883 --> 00:14:12,977
parents are
conditioned to accept a...
306
00:14:13,119 --> 00:14:16,419
a-a few, uh, minor problems
307
00:14:16,556 --> 00:14:19,390
when they leave their
children alone at home...
308
00:14:19,525 --> 00:14:21,653
Spilled milk on the rug,
309
00:14:21,794 --> 00:14:25,322
a broken dish.
310
00:14:25,465 --> 00:14:30,096
There was a kangaroo
311
00:14:30,236 --> 00:14:32,569
in my living room.
312
00:14:34,941 --> 00:14:38,139
It was just here
for the party, Dad.
313
00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:44,741
Then I guess I'm overreacting.
314
00:14:46,686 --> 00:14:49,155
Dad, if you just
give us a chance,
315
00:14:49,288 --> 00:14:51,086
we can explain everything.
316
00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:53,523
Oh, can you?
317
00:14:53,659 --> 00:14:55,651
Can you explain
318
00:14:55,795 --> 00:14:58,629
the valet parking
in the driveway?
319
00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:03,129
The flashing vacancy sign
320
00:15:03,269 --> 00:15:06,137
in front of the house?
321
00:15:06,272 --> 00:15:09,242
The billboard on Route 41?
322
00:15:15,181 --> 00:15:16,205
Look, Dad, I just,
323
00:15:16,349 --> 00:15:17,942
I-I just lost my head, you know?
324
00:15:18,084 --> 00:15:20,553
When the... when the
money started rolling in,
325
00:15:20,686 --> 00:15:22,052
I got out of control.
326
00:15:22,188 --> 00:15:23,622
I-I could smell it.
327
00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:25,224
I could taste it.
328
00:15:25,358 --> 00:15:27,520
I could hear it,
calling me at night,
329
00:15:27,660 --> 00:15:32,064
saying, "Alex, at
last we'll be together."
330
00:15:36,636 --> 00:15:38,764
Dad, I-I guess
you could just say
331
00:15:38,905 --> 00:15:41,841
that I-I kind of became
a... a money-holic.
332
00:15:44,076 --> 00:15:46,773
Dad, I need help.
333
00:15:51,117 --> 00:15:52,983
Dad, uh,
334
00:15:53,119 --> 00:15:54,485
you left me in charge,
335
00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:57,089
and I let you down
in every possible way.
336
00:15:57,223 --> 00:15:58,691
I was immature,
337
00:15:58,825 --> 00:16:00,760
I was irresponsible,
338
00:16:00,893 --> 00:16:02,327
and, uh, and I was greedy.
339
00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:04,454
I'm sorry.
340
00:16:24,217 --> 00:16:26,982
He's coming around.
341
00:16:27,119 --> 00:16:29,850
For months Steven would
wake up in the middle of the night
342
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:32,322
screaming about kangaroos.
343
00:16:32,458 --> 00:16:33,790
Well, Pop,
344
00:16:33,926 --> 00:16:36,020
I-I bet you look back
345
00:16:36,162 --> 00:16:38,256
on that whole
incident now and laugh.
346
00:16:45,705 --> 00:16:47,037
Uh, I think we've all
347
00:16:47,173 --> 00:16:49,369
become a lot more
responsible since then.
348
00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:52,673
It's because your father and I
have set such a good example.
349
00:16:52,812 --> 00:16:53,905
Yes, we've taught you
350
00:16:54,046 --> 00:16:57,676
to think clearly and
rationally before you act.
351
00:16:57,817 --> 00:17:01,083
I'm Ruben Tedesco.
352
00:17:01,220 --> 00:17:04,247
Your children call
me Mr. Tedesco.
353
00:17:04,390 --> 00:17:06,859
I think you should, too.
354
00:17:08,628 --> 00:17:11,120
I teach European literature.
355
00:17:11,264 --> 00:17:13,264
If you don't belong in
this classroom, don't worry.
356
00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:15,699
Neither do most
of your children.
357
00:17:17,203 --> 00:17:19,035
I'd like to make
this an open forum.
358
00:17:19,171 --> 00:17:22,437
I'll answer any intelligent
questions you may have.
359
00:17:22,575 --> 00:17:25,010
- Well, I was wondering...
- Hands please.
360
00:17:25,144 --> 00:17:27,136
Yes, the lady in the front row.
361
00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:28,942
- Mr. Tedesco...
- Not you.
362
00:17:29,081 --> 00:17:31,607
The one next to
you, the old bag.
363
00:17:35,321 --> 00:17:38,086
Why do you give out
so much homework?
364
00:17:38,224 --> 00:17:39,692
I said intelligent questions.
365
00:17:39,825 --> 00:17:40,952
Next.
366
00:17:41,093 --> 00:17:42,584
Yes, you.
367
00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:45,254
My son, he says you pick on him.
368
00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:46,923
You call him names.
369
00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:47,863
Who's your son?
370
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:49,434
Larry Morgan.
371
00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:51,367
Larry the Loser?
372
00:17:52,738 --> 00:17:56,607
Madame, your son is an
insipid pimple-faced liar.
373
00:17:58,511 --> 00:17:59,877
Anyone else?
374
00:18:00,012 --> 00:18:02,106
Please identify yourself.
375
00:18:02,248 --> 00:18:04,012
I'm Mrs. Binney.
376
00:18:04,150 --> 00:18:05,413
My daughter, Mindy,
377
00:18:05,551 --> 00:18:07,747
so enjoyed reading
The Little Prince.
378
00:18:07,887 --> 00:18:11,949
Is there anything else
you'd recommend for her?
379
00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:14,754
Yes, I'd recommend
she lose 40 pounds.
380
00:18:15,895 --> 00:18:17,864
You could lose
30 yourself. Next?
381
00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:24,393
My, my, such an
inquisitive bunch.
382
00:18:24,537 --> 00:18:26,028
I have something to say.
383
00:18:26,172 --> 00:18:27,401
Mr. Tedesco,
384
00:18:27,540 --> 00:18:29,270
I think you owe Mrs. Binney
385
00:18:29,408 --> 00:18:31,274
and everyone else
in here an apology.
386
00:18:31,410 --> 00:18:32,639
Yes.
387
00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:35,942
You-you've been terribly
rude and insulting to us all.
388
00:18:37,249 --> 00:18:38,717
Mrs. Keaton, it's
clear that your son
389
00:18:38,851 --> 00:18:41,184
does not get his
intelligence from you.
390
00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:43,585
If you feel I'm
being insulting, fine.
391
00:18:43,723 --> 00:18:46,056
I won't insult anyone anymore.
392
00:18:46,192 --> 00:18:47,922
This little
get-together is over.
393
00:18:48,060 --> 00:18:49,255
I'm leaving.
394
00:18:52,665 --> 00:18:54,998
Sorry, the game is
over. Let me through.
395
00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:56,659
Don't push me.
396
00:18:56,802 --> 00:18:59,237
Move it, Grandma.
397
00:18:59,372 --> 00:19:00,533
You can't do that.
398
00:19:00,673 --> 00:19:02,437
Who's gonna stop me?
399
00:19:08,714 --> 00:19:10,808
I came to apologize
for my wife's behavior.
400
00:19:10,950 --> 00:19:13,351
She feels terrible
about the whole thing.
401
00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:15,987
She's really sorry.
402
00:19:16,055 --> 00:19:17,055
We both are.
403
00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:18,715
I could sue, you know.
404
00:19:18,858 --> 00:19:20,417
Look, uh, look,
405
00:19:20,559 --> 00:19:23,222
let-let-let-let's try to
gain some perspective
406
00:19:23,362 --> 00:19:25,160
on the situation here.
407
00:19:25,297 --> 00:19:28,461
Uh, haven't you ever done
something without thinking,
408
00:19:28,601 --> 00:19:30,536
something you regretted later?
409
00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:32,536
Yes, I showed up
for parents' night.
410
00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:35,801
Look, look, I know you're upset
and you have every right to be.
411
00:19:35,941 --> 00:19:39,776
But you're obviously a very
intelligent, civilized person
412
00:19:39,912 --> 00:19:43,371
who can recognize this
incident for what it is.
413
00:19:45,418 --> 00:19:47,319
An aberration.
414
00:19:47,453 --> 00:19:50,082
And I hope you'll
forgive and forget.
415
00:19:50,222 --> 00:19:52,919
Fortunately, Mr. Keaton,
416
00:19:53,059 --> 00:19:56,496
your son inherited your
rational temperament.
417
00:19:56,629 --> 00:19:58,063
For his sake,
418
00:19:58,197 --> 00:20:01,361
I will allow myself to be
appeased by your words.
419
00:20:01,500 --> 00:20:04,163
I am nothing if not civilized.
420
00:20:04,303 --> 00:20:05,396
Well,
421
00:20:05,538 --> 00:20:07,166
I can see that.
422
00:20:07,306 --> 00:20:09,935
Your wife, however,
is an Amazon.
423
00:20:11,944 --> 00:20:14,880
Part Irish, part
French, no Amazon.
424
00:20:15,014 --> 00:20:17,449
You know what I mean, Keaton.
425
00:20:17,583 --> 00:20:19,779
She's primal.
426
00:20:19,919 --> 00:20:21,512
Not fully evolved.
427
00:20:21,654 --> 00:20:25,056
You must have a tough
time keeping her in line.
428
00:20:25,191 --> 00:20:26,215
Tell me,
429
00:20:26,358 --> 00:20:30,318
do whips ever enter the picture?
430
00:20:35,701 --> 00:20:37,636
I think I'll be going now.
431
00:20:37,770 --> 00:20:39,739
No, I'm curious,
what's it like to live
432
00:20:39,872 --> 00:20:43,172
with that kind of
unbridled she-devil?
433
00:20:45,177 --> 00:20:46,805
Good-bye, Mr. Tedesco.
434
00:20:46,946 --> 00:20:48,312
No wait, just one more question.
435
00:20:48,447 --> 00:20:51,110
Does she ever, uh...
436
00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:53,185
Why, you...
437
00:20:57,656 --> 00:20:59,887
Now, now, June, I don't
want you to get the idea
438
00:21:00,025 --> 00:21:01,653
that-that we condone violence.
439
00:21:01,794 --> 00:21:03,353
No, no, not at all.
440
00:21:03,496 --> 00:21:05,006
Yeah, just don't make
any sudden moves.
441
00:21:05,030 --> 00:21:06,510
You'll be all right.
442
00:21:06,632 --> 00:21:08,260
Oh, Andy.
443
00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:09,800
What's wrong, honey?
444
00:21:09,935 --> 00:21:11,233
We've been doing
all the talking.
445
00:21:11,370 --> 00:21:12,702
I guess he feels left out.
446
00:21:12,838 --> 00:21:15,205
I know how he feels.
447
00:21:15,341 --> 00:21:16,707
You know, if Andrew could talk,
448
00:21:16,842 --> 00:21:18,936
I bet he'd have a
story or two to tell you.
449
00:21:19,078 --> 00:21:22,947
Hey, your wife's on television.
450
00:21:23,082 --> 00:21:25,142
- She looks great.
- ♪ Thou wilt still be adored ♪
451
00:21:25,284 --> 00:21:26,411
She sure does.
452
00:21:26,552 --> 00:21:29,386
♪ As this moment thou art ♪
453
00:21:29,522 --> 00:21:35,985
♪ Let thy loveliness
fade as it will ♪
454
00:21:36,128 --> 00:21:38,097
This is my favorite part.
455
00:21:38,230 --> 00:21:40,324
Wait till you hear the
way she hits this one note.
456
00:21:40,466 --> 00:21:42,958
Each beat of my... ♪
457
00:21:43,102 --> 00:21:44,468
Oh! Oh!
458
00:21:44,603 --> 00:21:46,538
Wow, she really
nailed it that time.
459
00:21:48,707 --> 00:21:50,300
Don't stop, Elyse.
460
00:21:50,442 --> 00:21:51,535
Why did she stop?
461
00:21:51,677 --> 00:21:52,854
I'm sorry.
462
00:21:52,878 --> 00:21:54,904
I think I'm going into labor.
463
00:21:55,047 --> 00:21:56,811
Oh, well, that-that explains it.
464
00:21:56,949 --> 00:21:59,009
Labor?
465
00:21:59,151 --> 00:22:00,483
Steven, are you watching?
466
00:22:00,619 --> 00:22:01,917
Of course I am.
467
00:22:02,054 --> 00:22:04,523
This is it.
468
00:22:04,657 --> 00:22:07,149
Uh, Steven, if you're watching,
meet me at the hospital.
469
00:22:07,293 --> 00:22:09,285
Elyse, I'll be there
in 15 minutes.
470
00:22:09,428 --> 00:22:11,397
Be there in ten minutes.
471
00:22:11,530 --> 00:22:13,123
Ten minutes, and
I'll get your suitcase.
472
00:22:13,265 --> 00:22:15,131
And don't forget my suitcase.
473
00:22:15,267 --> 00:22:17,259
Stop nagging. I'm coming.
474
00:22:18,604 --> 00:22:19,936
- Steven!
- Come on, Dad.
475
00:22:20,072 --> 00:22:21,096
- Come on, Dad. -Go!
476
00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:22,799
- Hurry.
- Steven!
477
00:22:22,942 --> 00:22:25,673
Okay, now, let's
give June a chance.
478
00:22:25,811 --> 00:22:27,643
We've been doing all
the talking ourselves.
479
00:22:27,780 --> 00:22:30,079
Yeah, I really do want to
see what London looks like.
480
00:22:30,216 --> 00:22:32,136
Oh, well, it's pretty much
what you would expect,
481
00:22:32,218 --> 00:22:34,551
except that people drive on
the wrong side of the street.
482
00:22:34,687 --> 00:22:36,246
Hey, Mal, you'd fit right in.
483
00:22:37,356 --> 00:22:39,655
June, we're all
going to be quiet now,
484
00:22:39,792 --> 00:22:41,624
so you can tell
us about your trip.
485
00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:42,760
- Yes.
- Go ahead.
486
00:22:42,895 --> 00:22:45,296
Well, okay,
487
00:22:45,431 --> 00:22:46,626
when I first got to London,
488
00:22:46,765 --> 00:22:48,358
- it was really foggy.
- Hi, June.
489
00:22:48,500 --> 00:22:49,934
- Hi, honey.
- Jennifer, hi.
490
00:22:50,069 --> 00:22:51,264
It's nice to see you.
491
00:22:51,403 --> 00:22:52,928
Oh, it's good to see you, too.
492
00:22:53,072 --> 00:22:54,301
Well, you look great.
493
00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:55,840
Oh, so do you.
494
00:22:55,975 --> 00:22:57,876
Did I miss much about your trip?
495
00:22:58,010 --> 00:23:00,707
Oh, no, not a word.
496
00:23:00,846 --> 00:23:02,678
Well, I want to hear everything.
497
00:23:02,815 --> 00:23:03,815
Okay.
498
00:23:03,916 --> 00:23:05,441
Okay, now, no
more interruptions.
499
00:23:05,584 --> 00:23:08,110
Well, anyway, as I was saying,
500
00:23:08,254 --> 00:23:11,315
when I first got there, I
met this really terrific guy.
501
00:23:11,457 --> 00:23:13,255
Oh, well, you should
meet this guy Adam.
502
00:23:13,392 --> 00:23:15,122
He's really smart
and cute and funny.
503
00:23:15,261 --> 00:23:16,422
Jennifer, Jennifer,
504
00:23:16,562 --> 00:23:18,224
we don't want to
hear about it, okay?
505
00:23:18,364 --> 00:23:19,708
I want to hear about
Margaret Thatcher.
506
00:23:19,732 --> 00:23:21,894
By the way, how did...
how did Adam do with the...
507
00:23:54,867 --> 00:23:56,460
Sit, Ubu, sit. Good dog.
33402
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