All language subtitles for Family Ties S06E20 Read It and Weep - Part 1.DVDRip.NonHI.en.CBS.EN

♪♪

♪ I bet we've been
together for a million years ♪

♪ And I bet we'll be
together for a million more ♪

♪ Oh, it's like I
started breathing ♪

♪ On the night we kissed ♪

♪ And I can't remember
what I ever did before ♪

♪ What would we do,
baby, without us? ♪

♪ And there ain't no nothing we
can't love each other through ♪

♪ What would we do,
baby, without us? ♪

♪ Sha-la-la-la. ♪

Oh, I love it.

This is going to be great.

Okay, you can let it down now.

Are you sure every brother
does this for his sister?

Absolutely.

Did Alex do it for you?

He wanted to, but he
just wasn't right for it.

How come?

Well...

Alex has a weird body.

It's like his head is too
big for the rest of him.

Maybe the rest of
him is just too small.

That's probably it.

Ah, what the heck is this?

Calm down, Alex.

Andy's just helping me
hem a skirt. It's no big deal.

No big deal? Mal, he is a
healthy, happy six-year-old boy.

He should not be standing
on a counter in-in a dress.

Especially not this dress.

The color's all wrong for him.

You wish you could be
standing up here, Alex,

but you can't because
your body's weird.

What?

Andy, honey, why don't
you go outside and play?

Wait a minute, wait a
minute, wait a minute.

What-what do... what do
you mean, my body is weird?

You got a big
head... Ask Mallory.

Did you tell him that?

Alex, leave me alone.

She said that the rest
of your body is too small.

You said that.

I have got a perfect body, okay?

And you cannot beat my head.

They make a phenomenal set.

Fine, Alex, whatever you say.

Wait a minute, wait a
minute, wait a minute, wait...

Is there something
wrong with my head?

I mean, tell me, because
I would like to know.

Alex, it's no big deal.

You've just got the little...

Elmer Fudd thing
working for you, that's all.

Elmer Fudd?

I'm getting out of here.

Wait, Elmer Fudd...
What does Elmer Fudd...

He asked me whether
or not you had done this...

Hi, guys.

Jen, what's the matter with you?

You look miserable.

You really do.

Jen, you look awful.

But before we discuss that,
let me ask you something.

Is there something
wrong with my head?

Does Easter Island
mean anything to you?

What's the matter,
Jen? What's wrong?

This might be the worst
day of my school career.

Why? What happened?

I had to do a book report
for my English class.

Jen, I'm so sorry.

No, the problem is I
wanted to do my report

on Huckleberry Finn.

You're in luck, Jen.

I did a paper on that.

No, Mal, that was
Huckleberry Hound.

- Oh, that's right, right.
- See?

I found out in school
today that Huckleberry Finn

is not on the school's
accepted reading list.

It's banned.

Banned?

What... come on, that's absurd.

Wh-When did this happen?

Well, it's a new policy...
It just went into effect.

Well, I wish they banned
books when I was in high school.

They start everything
good after I leave.

How... how can they
ban Huckleberry Finn?

I mean, every kid
reads Huck Finn.

It's the great American novel.

It symbolizes the unrest
and ferment of the country

as the... as the Western
Frontier was coming to a close

and we as a nation were
forced to confront the issues

of... of racism, slavery
and industrialism.

Oh, maybe I didn't read it.

Who decided this?

The Leland Heights School Board.

They gave me this
letter to take home

and a packet of
information about it.

Oh, Jen, if you're lucky,
they'll ban this packet, too.

Looks pretty deadly.

- Hi, guys.
- Hey!

Mom, Dad, I'm glad you're here.

I've got something to
tell you, and I don't think

you're going to like it.

The greeting all
parents yearn for.

Should we sit down?

It's something that
happened at school today.

Jen, listen, break it
to them easy, okay?

Just remember, they're liberals.

They could
spontaneously combust.

Alex is right.

I know how upset you
guys get about these things.

Well, what is it, honey?

I wanted to do a book
report on Huckleberry Finn.

All right.

But don't let it happen again.

I can't. Huckleberry
Finn is banned.

Banned?

That's ridic... what
are you talking about?

Okay, okay, just take it easy.

Don't stage a
sit-in or anything.

I knew the school board's
been talking about this,

but I never dreamed
they'd dare to do it.

This is amazing.

If we lived two
miles down the road

in the Columbus School
District, this wouldn't be a problem.

We'd be closer to the mall, too.

Was there any discussion
about this at school?

Or is everyone just
going to stand there

and allow this to happen?

Wh-What about
your English teacher?

Well, Mr. Flaherty is just
as upset about this as I am,

but he said there's nothing
that can be done about it.

Uh, no, there's no way we
are going to let this happen.

This is completely wrong.

I totally agree with you,
Dad... We've got to fight this.

Oh, absolutely, this is a
disgrace to the community,

to the state, to the country.

Do I have a big head?

"I hadn't had a bite
to eat since yesterday,

"so Jim, he got out some
corn dodgers and buttermilk,

"and pork and
cabbage and greens.

"There ain't nothing
in the world so good

"when it's cooked right.

"And whilst I eat my supper,
we talked and had a good time.

"I was powerful glad to
get away from the feuds,

"and so was Jim to get
away from the swamp.

We said, 'There warn't no
home like a raft, after all. ""

Hmm.

With those stockings?

I'm going to die.

Mallory, please, your dad's
reading from a great piece

of American literature.

Oh, I know, I
know. I-I'm listening.

Um... they're on
a cruise, right?

Not exactly a cruise.

They're on a raft, floating
down the Mississippi.

It's a... yeah,
it's a great story.

I'll be right with you.

I'm sorry, my family
keeps interrupting. Go on.

You know, I used to love
that book when I was a kid.

I, uh... I'd always
imagine myself

in Huck's place, you know?

Lying out there in the
river at night, free as can be.

Only, uh, well, mine...
mine wasn't a raft.

It was a cabin cruiser.

Complete wet
bar, satellite dish.

Hot tub.

I don't know... I still
like Twain's version.

To each his own, Pop.

All right, I'm off the phone.

I'm ready to talk
about the book.

That's probably for me.

Hello? Hi.

I can't believe the Leland
Heights Board of Education

finds all these
books unacceptable.

Here, uh... Catcher in
the Rye, Grapes of Wrath,

Slaughterhouse-Five?

That's preposterous.

I mean, what books can you read?

Well, we're down to
Babar Goes to Holland

and The Yogi Berra Story.

Well, this is infuriating.

Every one of these
books is a classic.

I mean, how can
they justify that?

Well, the argument is that the
books contain explicit language

or, uh... or offensive imagery

that's unacceptable
for pre-college students.

The irony is that in Island
Tree School District v. Pico,

Justice Brennan said, "No local
school board shall remove books

"from school library
shelves simply because

"they dislike the ideas
contained in those books,

"nor by their removal seek to
prescribe what shall be orthodox

"in politics,
nationalism, religion

and other matters of opinion."

How did you know that?

I know everything.

Alex, I've got to admit,

I'm surprised you're
on our side in this issue.

To think that book banning

is actually bringing
us closer together.

Well, Dad, I-I...

I do enjoy keeping
you on your toes.

But, uh, basically, I agree

with John Stuart
Mill's philosophy

that a free flow of ideas
and-and information

is essential to
keeping alive the spirit

of a... of a libertarian
and utilitarian vision

flourishing against
the oppressive weight

of ignorance and
totalitarianism.

Did you swallow a
dictionary recently?

I'm just saying that regardless
of the contents of a book,

I believe that we have
to preserve the rights

of freedom of thought
and freedom of speech

for every American citizen.

A straight lettuce
diet? That's wild.

With certain obvious exceptions.

I think the books on this
list are just the kind of things

high school students
should be reading.

I mean, they're
provocative, they're insightful,

they make you think.

I mean, what's wrong with that?

The problem the school
board has with the book

is that Huck's best friend

is sometimes referred
to as N♪♪♪♪♪ Jim.

Now, look, that's
definitely offensive,

but it shouldn't be
taken out of context.

At the time Twain
wrote the book, it was,

uh, common usage in Missouri.

The whole point of the
story is how Huck learns

that a man's color
is not important

and that everyone
deserved to be free.

Jim is the most noble
character in the book.

There are also objections
on religious grounds.

Apparently the school board
dislikes the fact that Huck says

he would rather go to hell
than turn Jim back into slavery.

That he, in fact, rejects God.

Okay, I'm off the
phone. I'm all yours.

Great.

Now we get to
the bottom of this.

Well, what about
the other kids, Jen?

Or are you the only
one who wants to read

a book that's on this list?

Well, I don't want to do
my report on this book

because the book is banned.

I happen to love that book.

Jennifer,

this book is over
300 pages long,

not including pictures.

I think it's a
blessing in disguise.

Jen, look, if you want to do
your book report on Huck Finn,

then you should
do it on Huck Finn,

and the rest of us will
support you on that, right?

- Yeah, absolutely.
- Definitely. -Okay.

But it's got to
be your decision.

You know, I never
thought reading a book

would be something
I'd have to fight for.

You know, uh, Jen, I once had
a brush with censorship myself.

Remember, uh, Elyse,
back in Berkeley?

Huh, 1963?

I wrote an article for
the Berkeley Gazette.

"Fluctuating Electoral
Demographics

in the 1962 Congressional Race."

It was censored?

Oh, yes.

On what basis?

Oh, well, it was
incredibly boring.

Well, I mean,
"boring" in the best,

most interesting
sense of the word.

Thank you, dear... That's
exactly what you said

on your review at the time.

This is a book
report I want to do,

and it doesn't seem right that I
should be stopped from doing it.

No, it doesn't.

Anyway, I don't want to
read The Yogi Berra Story.

And you shouldn't have to.

Freedom of speech is
guaranteed in the Constitution,

and-and basically, they're
throwing out the Bill of Rights.

All right.

If we don't take
a stand, who will?

I mean, where will this all end?

STEVEN and ELYSE: All right.

So, basically, you're
going to read the book,

do the book report,

risk possible
failure in English,

jeopardize your
chances of getting

into any college other
than Grant, and, uh,

become a social outcast
in your own community.

I guess so.

That's our girl!

When he was 19, Yogi
batted .315, had 103 RBIs

and was elected
to the all-star team.

It was also during this season
that Yogi told his teammates

that he would one day
become spokesman

for a wonderfully
thirst-quenching

chocolate-flavored
drink called Yoo-hoo.

The rest is beverage history.

Well, very nice, Jill.

I think we all feel a
little closer to Yogi.

But I think I'd like
you to try something

a little more
challenging next time.

Like what?

Well, it's just that
your past reports

seem to indicate
a certain pattern.

I mean, we've had
The Joe Namath Story,

The Johnny Bench Story,
The Magic Johnson Story.

You should branch out a little.

Well, I haven't done
anything on hockey.

Sit down, Jill.

Jennifer. You ready?

I think so.

"You don't know about me
without you have read the book

"by the name of The
Adventures of Tom Sawyer,

but that ain't no matter."

So began Twain's American
classic, Huckleberry Finn.

Jennifer, can I speak
to you for a minute?

Uh, Martin, perhaps you
could begin your paper.

Athlete... broadcaster...

soft drink spokesman.

Who is this great
American? Yogi Berra.

Jennifer, I thought I
made myself clear on this.

You know Huckleberry Finn

isn't on the
approved reading list.

I know, Mr. Flaherty, and
I've given it a lot of thought.

And I don't approve of
the approved reading list.

Well, neither do I!

But I am a teacher
in this school system,

and I have to
abide by those rules.

I'm sorry, Mr. Flaherty, but I
really feel strongly about this.

Jennifer, if that's the case,

I have no choice
but to call Dr. Hewitt.

Oh, no, not Hewitt the Hun.

She's going to
find out eventually.

Billy...

Yogi lived his life by
his immortal words

ever since he was born...

Go to the principal's office.

What'd I do?

Nothing.

Just go tell Dr. Hewitt
I need to see her.

Hewitt the Hun?

Uh, look, I'm sorry, Jen,
but I got to do what he says.

I'm failing.

Jennifer... I hate
to have to do this.

Uh, you understand
the position I'm in.

You always told us
to think for ourselves

and to have the courage
of our convictions, and if...

and if we really believe in
something, then to act on it.

Oh, sure, throw
that one up at me.

Have you discussed
this with your parents?

Yes, I have, and they
support me completely.

Boy, you Keatons are never
far from controversy, are you?

I remember when Alex
tried to get the school to close

on Ron and Nancy's anniversary.

Oh, yeah, yeah, he-he
did stay home that day.

And-and he sent them those
beautiful matching jumpsuits.

I hope you know what
you're doing, Jennifer.

This is serious business.

Good afternoon, Mr. Flaherty.

Is there a problem?

I'm afraid there is.

Dr. Hewitt, you
know Jennifer Keaton.

- Of course.
- She's about to do

her book report on
Huckleberry Finn.

Jennifer, are you
aware that district policy

does not allow us to discuss
that book in the classroom?

Yes, I am, Dr. Hun.

Dr. Hewitt. Um...

But I don't think it's right.

Well, you are certainly
entitled to your opinion,

but as long as you're
a student in this school,

you have to abide
by school regulations.

If you have a problem
with a particular policy,

I suggest you take it up
with the Board of Education.

Mr. Flaherty, why don't
we give Jennifer time

to find another suitable book

and give her report
in the near future?

No!

This is the book
report I'm going to give.

As Dante once said,

"The hottest places in
hell are reserved for those

who, in times of moral
crisis, remain neutral."

What does that mean?

I think she's just
making conversation.

So, in conclusion,

this is one of the best
books I've ever read.

I recommend it to
everyone in this class.

And I leave you with
this question to ponder.

Is Yogi Berra
related to Yogi Bear?

And if so, how?

My-my book report is
about Huckleberry Finn.

Jennifer!

Written in 1884,

about 20 years after
the Civil War ended,

this book is not only the
story of a young man's journey

down the Mississippi,
but it's also the story

of America's journey
from innocence to maturity.

All right, Andy,
we're almost finished.

You know, I asked around.

Other brothers don't do this.

Um, well, you're special.

I know, but the thrill
is starting to wear off.

Oh, a little tailoring
going on, huh?

Yes. We're almost finished.

Uh-huh.

Need any help?

You can't help. Remember?

Your head's too big.

All right. All right. Just
give me this tape measure.

- Oh, Alex...
- Just-just a minute.

Just put your finger
right there, all right?

- You know what...
- Will you? Come on!

Swelled head check, Alex?

All right. All right.

Listen, you guys are my parents.

Help me out on this one.

Is my head too big for my body?

A little.

All right. Okay, let
me tell you something.

Maybe all of your heads

are just a little too
small for your bodies.

Huh? You ever think of that?

- Hi.
- Hi.

- What...?
- What-what happened?

Did-did you read from
your Huck Finn report?

I did it.

We are so proud of you, Jen.

That took a great
deal of courage.

And now my only
hope is that you have

the tuition money to
pay for private school

'cause that's definitely
where I'm headed.

Wait. Wait. Wait.
Hey, what happened?

Come on, hey...
don't kid around, now.

Private school is expensive.

Well, when
Mr. Flaherty found out

that I was doing my
report on Huck Finn,

he had to call down to
the principal, Dr. Hewitt.

She warned me not to do it.

When I did it anyway,
she took my pages away.

- She what?
- What?

She confiscated
your book report?

Yeah. I-I'm not even going to
have a chance to be graded.

Not graded?

Jen, you get all the breaks.

Mal, uh, I-I don't...

I don't think you understand
the implications of this.

No one should have
the right to tell you

what you should
or should not read.

Yeah, Mal, come on.

How would you like
it if someone came

into the Grant
College Library and...

took the book out?

Well, I'm sure they
had very good reasons

for what they were doing.

Well, Mal, I don't think any
of these are good reasons.

Uh, banning The
Diary of Anne Frank

because it treated
all religions equally?

Banning Mice and Men
because of vulgarity?

- Banning Cosmopolitan...
- What?

Why?

Cosmopolitan because
it deals explicitly

with sexual issues.

The swine!

Why aren't we doing
something about this?

We're going to, Mal.

We're going to call
other parents, organize.

We're not going to
back down from this.

This is a question
of free speech.

The Supreme Court said that.

Well, actually,
what the court said...

was that the
defendant school board

had violated
students' rights in...

in censoring books
from the school library.

Thus the question
becomes whether the, uh...

the discretion of
the school board

to make curricular decisions
is impeded in any way

by First Amendment
considerations.

I told you, I know everything.

Maybe that's why
your head's so big.

Hello.

Oh, hi.

Uh, yes, yes, we're...

we're very proud
of her ourselves.

Thank you.

Uh... well, I'll let her know.

That was, uh,
Tricia Willis's father,

just saying he heard
what you did in class,

and the Willises
are behind it 100%.

Jennifer, you are
a regular celebrity.

I'm so proud of you.

Hey, maybe Dad can do one of
his boring documentaries on you.

I-I mean "boring" in the...

in the best, most
interesting sense of the word.

- Hello, Alex.
- Mr. Flaherty. How are you?

I haven't seen
you in a long time.

Has your head gotten bigger?

Good to see you, Mr. Flaherty.

- Hello.
- Oh, hi, Mr. Flaherty.

We heard what
happened this afternoon.

I-I can't begin to tell you how
aggravated and upset we are.

I'm not thrilled with the
way things went, either.

But I just wanted to tell you

how proud you should
be of your daughter.

She really handled
herself beautifully

in a very difficult,
sensitive situation.

Thank you, Mr. Flaherty.

That's good to hear anyway.

I also wanted to tell you

I got your book report
back from Dr. Hewitt.

I think it's the finest report

on Huckleberry
Finn I've ever read.

Sorry, Alex.

This was better.

Well, at least it
stays in the family.

That's why it really
hurts to tell you that...

I have to fail you on
the report, Jennifer.

Why?

Because, as far as the
school board is concerned,

Huckleberry Finn doesn't exist.

Yeah, I'm sure Mark Twain
would be thrilled to hear that.

Technically,

if the book isn't
officially recognized,

there's no book report.

I can't believe it.

I'm going to fail.

Hey, hey, hey, listen.

No Keaton has
ever failed English.

Well, I...

No more Keatons are
going to fail English.

Well, unfortunately, the
failing isn't the worst of it.

Dr. Hewitt has said
that unless Jennifer

chooses to do
another book report

and stops defying
the rules of the school,

she's going to be suspended.

Uh...

Well, I'm not backing down.

Okay.

Sit, Ubu, sit. Good dog.