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1
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♪♪
2
00:00:13,313 --> 00:00:18,795
♪ I bet we've been
together for a million years ♪
3
00:00:18,819 --> 00:00:24,534
♪ And I bet we'll be
together for a million more ♪
4
00:00:24,558 --> 00:00:27,036
♪ Oh, it's like I
started breathing ♪
5
00:00:27,060 --> 00:00:29,839
♪ On the night we kissed ♪
6
00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:35,078
♪ And I can't remember
what I ever did before ♪
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00:00:35,102 --> 00:00:43,102
♪ What would we do,
baby, without us? ♪
8
00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:51,594
♪ And there ain't no nothing we
can't love each other through ♪
9
00:00:51,618 --> 00:00:57,567
♪ What would we do,
baby, without us? ♪
10
00:00:57,591 --> 00:01:00,390
♪ Sha-la-la-la. ♪
11
00:01:04,164 --> 00:01:06,576
Who's that?
12
00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:08,411
Uh, that's Dad's
mother's mother,
13
00:01:08,435 --> 00:01:09,846
our great-grandmother.
14
00:01:09,870 --> 00:01:12,430
She had real flabby arms.
15
00:01:14,841 --> 00:01:16,537
Yeah, they're a nice
match with the legs.
16
00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:20,256
There's a nice-looking guy.
17
00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:21,691
Who's that?
18
00:01:21,715 --> 00:01:23,411
That's Vic Damone.
19
00:01:24,351 --> 00:01:26,496
His picture came with the album.
20
00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:27,764
Mm.
21
00:01:27,788 --> 00:01:29,132
Oh, look.
22
00:01:29,156 --> 00:01:31,501
"Mr. and Mrs. Charles
Donnelly announce the wedding
23
00:01:31,525 --> 00:01:32,969
"of their daughter
Elyse Katherine
24
00:01:32,993 --> 00:01:34,571
to Steven Richard Keaton."
25
00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:38,141
Hey, Mom, look at your
old wedding invitation.
26
00:01:38,165 --> 00:01:40,076
1964.
27
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:41,477
20 years ago.
28
00:01:41,501 --> 00:01:42,712
Steven, can you believe it?
29
00:01:43,737 --> 00:01:45,949
I guess he can't believe it.
30
00:01:45,973 --> 00:01:48,117
Are you guys gonna have a party?
31
00:01:48,141 --> 00:01:49,552
Well, I'm working on it,
32
00:01:49,576 --> 00:01:51,487
but your father doesn't like
to celebrate these things.
33
00:01:51,511 --> 00:01:53,623
Of course I do.
34
00:01:53,647 --> 00:01:56,426
I love to celebrate
these things.
35
00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:59,829
I just don't like big parties.
36
00:01:59,853 --> 00:02:02,065
I happen to
believe it's possible
37
00:02:02,089 --> 00:02:03,833
to have a celebration with, uh,
38
00:02:03,857 --> 00:02:05,835
fewer than a thousand people.
39
00:02:05,859 --> 00:02:07,971
You used to like big gatherings.
40
00:02:07,995 --> 00:02:09,739
Elyse, this is our anniversary,
41
00:02:09,763 --> 00:02:11,874
not the march on Washington.
42
00:02:11,898 --> 00:02:13,209
You know, actually,
43
00:02:13,233 --> 00:02:15,578
you already agreed
to have a party.
44
00:02:15,602 --> 00:02:17,180
When did I agree?
45
00:02:17,204 --> 00:02:18,314
Last year. Don't you remember?
46
00:02:18,338 --> 00:02:19,949
Just the two of us
had dinner together.
47
00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:21,250
Course I remember.
48
00:02:21,274 --> 00:02:23,486
It was very romantic.
49
00:02:23,510 --> 00:02:24,854
Well, this year,
instead of romance,
50
00:02:24,878 --> 00:02:26,608
let's have fun.
51
00:02:29,349 --> 00:02:32,495
You know what I mean.
52
00:02:32,519 --> 00:02:35,698
Let's face it, Dad,
she wants a big party.
53
00:02:35,722 --> 00:02:37,367
Well, it's our
20th; it's a big day.
54
00:02:37,391 --> 00:02:39,202
I-I just feel there
are a lot of people
55
00:02:39,226 --> 00:02:40,803
that I would like
to share that with.
56
00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:43,306
Okay, Elyse, if you
insist on having a party,
57
00:02:43,330 --> 00:02:44,607
I won't stand in your way.
58
00:02:44,631 --> 00:02:46,309
Sounds like a go to me.
59
00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:47,543
This is so exciting.
60
00:02:47,567 --> 00:02:48,778
You're going to love it, Steven.
61
00:02:48,802 --> 00:02:50,580
Where-where will
we have the party?
62
00:02:50,604 --> 00:02:52,382
Anyplace you want
is okay with me.
63
00:02:52,406 --> 00:02:53,416
You decide.
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00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:54,984
I am thoroughly amenable.
65
00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:57,453
Uh, maybe we could get
the banquet room at Guido's.
66
00:02:57,477 --> 00:02:59,355
Not Guido's.
67
00:02:59,379 --> 00:03:01,057
What's the matter with Guido's?
68
00:03:01,081 --> 00:03:02,558
N-nothing, no...
69
00:03:02,582 --> 00:03:04,027
Guido's-Guido's is fine.
70
00:03:04,051 --> 00:03:06,462
Okay, I'll keep it small and
intimate, Steven, I promise.
71
00:03:06,486 --> 00:03:07,997
What, just a few other couples?
72
00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:10,733
Well, now, if we're
going to rent a room
73
00:03:10,757 --> 00:03:12,201
and hire a band,
I think, I think...
74
00:03:12,225 --> 00:03:13,488
A band?!
75
00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:16,706
Okay, okay, a band is fine.
76
00:03:16,730 --> 00:03:17,974
I'll stay out of this.
77
00:03:17,998 --> 00:03:19,509
It sounds like fun,
Mom. Do you want me
78
00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:20,910
to call Guido's and
reserve the room?
79
00:03:20,934 --> 00:03:22,045
No, that's okay.
80
00:03:22,069 --> 00:03:24,061
I already called them.
81
00:03:27,441 --> 00:03:29,085
Hi, Mom. What's for dinner?
82
00:03:29,109 --> 00:03:31,354
You know, I thought we'd start
out with some hors d'oeuvres...
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00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:33,489
Rumaki, pigs in
blankets, things like that...
84
00:03:33,513 --> 00:03:37,660
And then chicken Florentine,
zucchini, pastry, and coffee.
85
00:03:37,684 --> 00:03:39,929
Well, I'll have everything
except the coffee.
86
00:03:39,953 --> 00:03:41,397
Let's eat.
87
00:03:41,421 --> 00:03:45,201
Oh, honey, I'm sorry. I
was talking about the party.
88
00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:47,470
Oh. And what are
we having tonight?
89
00:03:47,494 --> 00:03:50,487
Tonight we're having Captain
Barnacle's take-out fish balls.
90
00:03:52,365 --> 00:03:54,677
Again?
91
00:03:54,701 --> 00:03:58,347
Well, I hope they
defrosted them this time.
92
00:03:58,371 --> 00:04:00,349
Oh, hello, everybody.
93
00:04:00,373 --> 00:04:01,818
- You did!
- I did not.
94
00:04:01,842 --> 00:04:03,419
- I know you did, Alex.
- No, no, no.
95
00:04:03,443 --> 00:04:05,254
You think you know
I did, but I didn't.
96
00:04:05,278 --> 00:04:07,090
Steven, where
are the fish balls?
97
00:04:07,114 --> 00:04:08,758
I couldn't start the car.
98
00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:10,560
I had to leave it at work.
99
00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:11,894
I took the bus home.
100
00:04:11,918 --> 00:04:13,796
I'm soaked to the skin.
101
00:04:13,820 --> 00:04:15,965
I couldn't get the fish balls.
102
00:04:15,989 --> 00:04:17,633
Oh, Steven.
103
00:04:17,657 --> 00:04:21,059
You couldn't get
the fish balls?!
104
00:04:22,963 --> 00:04:25,942
Let me run this by
you again, Elyse.
105
00:04:25,966 --> 00:04:27,944
I couldn't start the car.
106
00:04:27,968 --> 00:04:29,412
Had to leave it at work.
107
00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:30,980
Took the bus home.
108
00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:32,996
I couldn't get the fish balls.
109
00:04:34,374 --> 00:04:36,252
Say it with me, "I couldn't..."
110
00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:37,987
- "I couldn't start..."
- Dad...!
111
00:04:38,011 --> 00:04:40,523
Dad, Alex has been
reading my diary.
112
00:04:40,547 --> 00:04:42,558
I know because he's been
using words and phrases
113
00:04:42,582 --> 00:04:43,726
that I use in it.
114
00:04:43,750 --> 00:04:45,061
Look, that is not true.
115
00:04:45,085 --> 00:04:46,863
Her-her accusations are...
116
00:04:46,887 --> 00:04:50,299
totally bogus and
grody to the max.
117
00:04:50,323 --> 00:04:52,702
You see? He
doesn't talk like that.
118
00:04:52,726 --> 00:04:54,604
Look, I didn't read
her diary, okay?
119
00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:56,472
I went into her room
to look for a book.
120
00:04:56,496 --> 00:04:59,830
Ha! What would a book
be doing in my room?
121
00:05:03,937 --> 00:05:06,930
She's got me there...
122
00:05:08,708 --> 00:05:11,187
for sure.
123
00:05:11,211 --> 00:05:15,024
I really had my heart
set on those fish balls.
124
00:05:15,048 --> 00:05:17,226
So, Mom, what is for dinner?
125
00:05:17,250 --> 00:05:19,395
Well, we've got
some frozen waffles.
126
00:05:19,419 --> 00:05:21,798
Throw 'em in the toaster.
127
00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:24,133
I'd love to throw
'em in the toaster,
128
00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:25,668
but the toaster is broken.
129
00:05:25,692 --> 00:05:27,436
I have some gum in my room.
130
00:05:27,460 --> 00:05:29,705
That should hold
me over till breakfast.
131
00:05:29,729 --> 00:05:32,708
Look, Steven, I-I've got to talk
to you about the arrangements.
132
00:05:32,732 --> 00:05:34,744
Now, now, Guido's
is all set for the party.
133
00:05:34,768 --> 00:05:37,180
Guido's? H... Oh, okay.
134
00:05:37,204 --> 00:05:38,881
Guido's, uh... Guido's is fine.
135
00:05:38,905 --> 00:05:40,840
Whatever you do will be fine.
136
00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:46,989
Is it raining in here?
137
00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:49,659
Yes, it is! I thought
we had that fixed.
138
00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:51,828
- I did! I'll call the roofer.
- Thank you.
139
00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:54,263
- Dad, you've got to talk to Alex.
- About what?
140
00:05:54,287 --> 00:05:55,865
About reading my diary.
141
00:05:55,889 --> 00:05:59,001
Alex, read your sister's diary.
142
00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:00,503
Dad!
143
00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:02,972
Look, I didn't read
her stupid diary.
144
00:06:02,996 --> 00:06:06,375
How would you know my
diary's stupid if you hadn't read it?
145
00:06:06,399 --> 00:06:08,711
Mallory, I don't have to
stick my hand in water
146
00:06:08,735 --> 00:06:10,446
to know it's wet.
147
00:06:10,470 --> 00:06:14,617
Okay, now, guys, the roofer can
be here Wednesday after 3:00.
148
00:06:14,641 --> 00:06:16,219
Can anybody be here?
149
00:06:16,243 --> 00:06:17,353
- I'm busy.
- Not me. -STEVEN: I can't.
150
00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:20,156
Oh! I'll try to be here.
151
00:06:20,180 --> 00:06:22,391
Steven, I-I've got to talk to
you about these arrangements.
152
00:06:22,415 --> 00:06:24,393
Now, I've got the guest
list here, and-and I...
153
00:06:24,417 --> 00:06:26,662
That is the guest list?
154
00:06:26,686 --> 00:06:30,032
Why don't we
use this guest list?
155
00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:32,034
Fewer people.
156
00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:35,037
- I'll look through it.
- I bet you will.
157
00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:36,606
Oh, this is gonna
be a fun party.
158
00:06:36,630 --> 00:06:37,773
I'm really looking
forward to it.
159
00:06:37,797 --> 00:06:39,308
Yeah, me, too.
160
00:06:39,332 --> 00:06:41,310
Mallory, can you put
something under this drip?
161
00:06:41,334 --> 00:06:44,847
You're a drip, Alex.
Why don't you sit in it?!
162
00:06:44,871 --> 00:06:48,364
All right, Mallory.
Bag your face.
163
00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:54,056
- 20 years, huh?
- Yeah. It seems just like, uh...
164
00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:56,058
Fifty.
165
00:06:59,786 --> 00:07:02,531
Yes... Y-Yes... I see.
166
00:07:02,555 --> 00:07:05,368
I understand you're
very busy now, but...
167
00:07:05,392 --> 00:07:08,738
uh, now is when
our roof is leaking.
168
00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:12,642
I'm sorry we never
call you when it's sunny.
169
00:07:12,666 --> 00:07:16,045
Wh-When can you come?
170
00:07:16,069 --> 00:07:18,347
A month from Thursday.
171
00:07:18,371 --> 00:07:21,517
Well, I-I appreciate
your squeezing us in.
172
00:07:21,541 --> 00:07:23,052
Thank you.
173
00:07:23,076 --> 00:07:24,587
You're a saint.
174
00:07:24,611 --> 00:07:26,603
Thank you.
175
00:07:28,748 --> 00:07:30,726
Sorry I'm late. I
stayed at the office
176
00:07:30,750 --> 00:07:32,862
to put the guest list
through the computer.
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00:07:32,886 --> 00:07:35,665
You forgot the roofer, Elyse.
178
00:07:35,689 --> 00:07:37,733
Oh, no, I didn't. He's invited.
179
00:07:37,757 --> 00:07:39,623
I mean, you weren't
home when he got here.
180
00:07:40,660 --> 00:07:42,305
So what?
181
00:07:42,329 --> 00:07:43,639
So I forgot the roofer.
182
00:07:43,663 --> 00:07:46,108
So what?!
183
00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:48,244
So what? Have you
been in the kitchen lately?
184
00:07:48,268 --> 00:07:50,112
- No.
- No?
185
00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:52,114
Take a dinghy.
186
00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:54,417
Steven, I had a
hard day at work.
187
00:07:54,441 --> 00:07:56,433
Please, let's not
get into a fight.
188
00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:58,621
Okay.
189
00:07:58,645 --> 00:08:00,056
You're right. Uh...
190
00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:02,191
Sorry you had such a bad day.
191
00:08:02,215 --> 00:08:03,759
Well, it really wasn't
such a bad day.
192
00:08:03,783 --> 00:08:06,262
I had lunch with Suzanne,
and she and Ron are coming.
193
00:08:06,286 --> 00:08:09,031
Oh, good. At least some
of my friends will be there.
194
00:08:09,055 --> 00:08:10,266
Well, they can't get
here till midnight,
195
00:08:10,290 --> 00:08:11,890
and they won't be
able to stay very long.
196
00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:16,072
I also ran into,
uh, Bernie Packer.
197
00:08:16,096 --> 00:08:18,074
Glad he's not invited.
198
00:08:18,098 --> 00:08:19,809
Well...
199
00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:22,578
- Elyse...!
- Well, Suzanne assumed he was invited
200
00:08:22,602 --> 00:08:24,914
and mentioned it,
so I had to invite him.
201
00:08:24,938 --> 00:08:26,549
He's a very sweet man.
202
00:08:26,573 --> 00:08:28,951
He was very helpful to my
mother a couple years ago.
203
00:08:28,975 --> 00:08:31,687
In that case, why don't we
take him in as a boarder?
204
00:08:31,711 --> 00:08:33,756
Elyse, the man is a buffoon.
205
00:08:33,780 --> 00:08:35,024
He's not a buffoon.
206
00:08:35,048 --> 00:08:36,959
He happens to have a
very good sense of humor.
207
00:08:36,983 --> 00:08:38,427
Oh, is he? He's really funny.
208
00:08:38,451 --> 00:08:40,396
I especially like that
noise he always makes.
209
00:08:40,420 --> 00:08:41,564
What noise?
210
00:08:43,456 --> 00:08:44,934
That noise.
211
00:08:44,958 --> 00:08:47,169
I never noticed that noise.
212
00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:50,506
How could you not notice?
213
00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:53,976
I am aware of the positive
things about Bernie.
214
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:57,980
Is the most positive
thing about Bernie.
215
00:08:58,004 --> 00:09:00,683
Look, I feel like we're
having some problems here.
216
00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:02,718
If you don't want Bernie
to come to the party,
217
00:09:02,742 --> 00:09:04,320
he doesn't have to
come to the party.
218
00:09:04,344 --> 00:09:06,722
We don't even
have to have a party!
219
00:09:06,746 --> 00:09:08,557
We are having the party.
220
00:09:08,581 --> 00:09:12,762
I'm not gonna miss my 20th
anniversary because of you.
221
00:09:12,786 --> 00:09:16,032
You are having your 20th
anniversary because of me!
222
00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:21,103
I-I'm having our 20th
anniversary because of us.
223
00:09:21,127 --> 00:09:24,240
There wouldn't be any
us if it weren't for me.
224
00:09:24,264 --> 00:09:25,975
Or me, so there.
225
00:09:29,002 --> 00:09:30,179
Hello!
226
00:09:30,203 --> 00:09:31,647
Bernie!
227
00:09:31,671 --> 00:09:32,982
Bernie Packer.
228
00:09:33,006 --> 00:09:35,999
Great. Say for me.
229
00:09:37,811 --> 00:09:39,422
You're coming?
230
00:09:39,446 --> 00:09:40,656
Fabulous!
231
00:09:40,680 --> 00:09:43,893
Steven will be so happy.
232
00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:46,295
Till then, Bern. Bye.
233
00:09:46,319 --> 00:09:49,298
Okay, Elyse, now all
your friends are coming,
234
00:09:49,322 --> 00:09:51,233
including Bernie. Happy?
235
00:09:51,257 --> 00:09:52,368
Never happier.
236
00:09:52,392 --> 00:09:53,869
Oh, I've never
been happier either.
237
00:09:53,893 --> 00:09:55,671
I'm delirious with glee.
238
00:09:55,695 --> 00:09:58,274
Bernie Packer is
coming to our party.
239
00:09:58,298 --> 00:10:01,143
How much delight could
one man possibly stand?
240
00:10:01,167 --> 00:10:03,079
Will you stop
putting down Bernie?
241
00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:05,247
- I am crazy about Bernie!
- Well, you can
242
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:06,515
just spend the whole
evening with Bernie.
243
00:10:06,539 --> 00:10:07,883
You can just dance with Bernie
244
00:10:07,907 --> 00:10:09,899
and your brains out.
245
00:10:12,078 --> 00:10:13,556
Mallory!
246
00:10:13,580 --> 00:10:15,524
- What are you doing in my room?
- What are you doing
247
00:10:15,548 --> 00:10:17,259
- in my room? Reading my diary?
- No, I was...
248
00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:18,627
- Would you...
- Will you shut up?!
249
00:10:18,651 --> 00:10:21,864
I don't want any more
yelling in this house!
250
00:10:21,888 --> 00:10:24,867
Happy anniversary!
251
00:10:24,891 --> 00:10:27,383
Many happy returns!
252
00:10:34,501 --> 00:10:35,878
Alex, will you get
over here, please?
253
00:10:35,902 --> 00:10:38,080
We've got to talk about
Mom and Dad's present.
254
00:10:38,104 --> 00:10:40,616
Speaking of talking, Jennifer,
did you know that Mallory
255
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:43,018
is afraid to talk
to Curt McMillan?
256
00:10:43,042 --> 00:10:45,454
Alex, the only way
you would know that
257
00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:47,389
is if you read my diary.
258
00:10:47,413 --> 00:10:49,024
That's not true.
259
00:10:49,048 --> 00:10:53,028
He could've eavesdropped
like I did... ah...
260
00:10:53,052 --> 00:10:54,763
Maybe this whole
discussion is academic.
261
00:10:54,787 --> 00:10:56,432
I mean, the way
they've been fighting,
262
00:10:56,456 --> 00:10:58,200
they're probably
gonna call the party off.
263
00:10:58,224 --> 00:11:00,136
It is getting pretty rough.
264
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:02,204
Now they're fighting
about anything.
265
00:11:02,228 --> 00:11:03,606
This is my umbrella.
266
00:11:03,630 --> 00:11:06,075
I don't know what you did
with your stupid umbrella.
267
00:11:06,099 --> 00:11:08,310
You're right! It is
a stupid umbrella!
268
00:11:08,334 --> 00:11:11,147
You bought it for me!
269
00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:13,382
Sounds like it's tapering off.
270
00:11:13,406 --> 00:11:15,384
Better than that
ridiculous rain hat
271
00:11:15,408 --> 00:11:17,486
you bought me!
272
00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:20,823
Look, just on the off
chance that they do make up,
273
00:11:20,847 --> 00:11:23,826
we have to get them a present.
Now, what do they need?
274
00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:27,196
They need a lawyer.
275
00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:28,931
I hope they make up.
276
00:11:28,955 --> 00:11:31,700
I don't want to end up
at some home for waifs.
277
00:11:31,724 --> 00:11:33,536
Now, come on, what
should we get them?
278
00:11:33,560 --> 00:11:36,291
Let's get 'em a
new set of tires.
279
00:11:37,397 --> 00:11:39,141
Look, I've got a
much better idea.
280
00:11:39,165 --> 00:11:41,610
We'll get them, uh, matching
sweater and slacks outfits.
281
00:11:41,634 --> 00:11:43,626
It'll be great.
282
00:11:45,838 --> 00:11:48,384
Uh, Mallory, we-we're
shopping for our parents here,
283
00:11:48,408 --> 00:11:50,400
not Ken and Barbie.
284
00:11:52,412 --> 00:11:54,757
Alex, do you have to shoot
down every good idea I have?
285
00:11:54,781 --> 00:11:58,294
Mallory, the day you get
a good idea, let me know.
286
00:11:58,318 --> 00:12:00,729
I will!
287
00:12:00,753 --> 00:12:03,666
Okay.
288
00:12:03,690 --> 00:12:05,167
Will you two stop fighting?
289
00:12:05,191 --> 00:12:06,902
We've got to work this out.
290
00:12:06,926 --> 00:12:09,104
No, I disagree.
291
00:12:09,128 --> 00:12:11,461
I think we have a lot
to learn from Einstein.
292
00:12:14,701 --> 00:12:17,913
Talking about the
anniversary, hmm?
293
00:12:17,937 --> 00:12:19,481
Is there still gonna be one?
294
00:12:19,505 --> 00:12:21,337
Why wouldn't there be one?
295
00:12:25,545 --> 00:12:28,276
Been looking all
over the house for this.
296
00:12:33,319 --> 00:12:36,031
Look, there's no
doubt in my mind
297
00:12:36,055 --> 00:12:38,500
they'll make up before
the party tomorrow night.
298
00:12:38,524 --> 00:12:41,961
But if they don't, I'm
calling a family meeting.
299
00:12:43,796 --> 00:12:47,576
This family meeting is
hereby called to order.
300
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:51,146
Will the secretary please read
the minutes of the last meeting?
301
00:12:51,170 --> 00:12:53,749
You are the secretary, Jennifer.
302
00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:56,719
You're out of order.
303
00:12:56,743 --> 00:13:00,522
I know, I'm the
secretary, Mallory.
304
00:13:00,546 --> 00:13:02,591
I'm just trying to
be official here.
305
00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:04,226
Jennifer, you were
about to read the minutes
306
00:13:04,250 --> 00:13:06,161
of the last meeting...
Will you get to it, please?
307
00:13:06,185 --> 00:13:07,813
I, for one, want to hear them.
308
00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:11,934
You can't hear them.
309
00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:14,036
I was going to get to that.
310
00:13:14,060 --> 00:13:17,706
You see, I was reading
them in the bathtub last night...
311
00:13:17,730 --> 00:13:18,707
and...
312
00:13:18,731 --> 00:13:20,996
well, the rest is history.
313
00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:25,764
The Chair recognizes Mommy.
314
00:13:28,274 --> 00:13:30,185
I would just like to point out
315
00:13:30,209 --> 00:13:32,988
that we're supposed to
be at Guido's in 20 minutes.
316
00:13:33,012 --> 00:13:35,190
If we do not proceed
with this meeting,
317
00:13:35,214 --> 00:13:36,992
we'll all miss the party.
318
00:13:37,016 --> 00:13:39,161
Suits me fine.
319
00:13:39,185 --> 00:13:41,997
I have the floor...
You're out of order.
320
00:13:42,021 --> 00:13:45,768
She's right, Dad, technically,
you are out of order.
321
00:13:45,792 --> 00:13:48,037
Now you're out of order, Alex.
322
00:13:48,061 --> 00:13:51,407
How can I be out of order
telling him he's out of order?
323
00:13:51,431 --> 00:13:54,176
You're out of order again.
324
00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:57,146
Listen, the whole
purpose of this meeting is
325
00:13:57,170 --> 00:14:00,015
for us to discuss all the
fighting that's been going on.
326
00:14:00,039 --> 00:14:01,684
- I'm tired of it.
- So am I.
327
00:14:01,708 --> 00:14:03,585
Me, too... Alex, I don't see why
328
00:14:03,609 --> 00:14:06,511
you and your sister
can't get along better.
329
00:14:07,914 --> 00:14:10,492
Pardon me for
pointing it out, Mom,
330
00:14:10,516 --> 00:14:14,419
but you and Dad haven't
exactly been Ozzie and Harriet.
331
00:14:15,822 --> 00:14:17,266
Well, look, uh, kids,
332
00:14:17,290 --> 00:14:19,201
we don't need a
meeting like this.
333
00:14:19,225 --> 00:14:23,172
Your mother and I can settle
our little differences ourselves.
334
00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:25,674
Really? The two
of you haven't slept
335
00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:29,378
in the same room for
the past three nights.
336
00:14:29,402 --> 00:14:31,394
I haven't been tired.
337
00:14:34,741 --> 00:14:37,052
I don't like it when
you guys fight.
338
00:14:37,076 --> 00:14:38,887
It's scary.
339
00:14:38,911 --> 00:14:40,756
Sounds like you
don't like each other.
340
00:14:40,780 --> 00:14:42,791
Honey, we don't
mean to scare you.
341
00:14:42,815 --> 00:14:46,528
So, now, you're
ready to make up?
342
00:14:46,552 --> 00:14:48,797
Uh, well, um, I-I...
I think the first thing
343
00:14:48,821 --> 00:14:51,400
that needs to happen here,
um, procedurally speaking,
344
00:14:51,424 --> 00:14:53,802
is for Alex and Mallory
to end their fight.
345
00:14:53,826 --> 00:14:55,818
How about it?
346
00:14:57,296 --> 00:14:59,575
I will make up with Alex
347
00:14:59,599 --> 00:15:03,379
if he promises never
to read my diary again.
348
00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:05,681
I didn't read it
in the first place.
349
00:15:05,705 --> 00:15:06,982
Prove it.
350
00:15:07,006 --> 00:15:10,352
For one thing, Mallory,
it has a lock on it.
351
00:15:10,376 --> 00:15:12,242
How would you know?
352
00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:16,258
I, uh...
353
00:15:16,282 --> 00:15:19,928
I've admired it from a distance.
354
00:15:19,952 --> 00:15:22,264
I'll bet!
355
00:15:22,288 --> 00:15:24,133
Okay, look, I
promise, all right?
356
00:15:24,157 --> 00:15:27,002
You have to promise to
stay away from my records.
357
00:15:27,026 --> 00:15:29,171
All right.
358
00:15:29,195 --> 00:15:31,907
I'm sorry for all the
names I called you.
359
00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:33,942
Likewise.
360
00:15:33,966 --> 00:15:35,525
Say, "I'm sorry."
361
00:15:37,336 --> 00:15:39,328
I'm sorry.
362
00:15:40,740 --> 00:15:42,117
Louder.
363
00:15:42,141 --> 00:15:44,219
I'm sorry.
364
00:15:44,243 --> 00:15:45,220
Louder.
365
00:15:45,244 --> 00:15:47,356
Mallory...!
366
00:15:47,380 --> 00:15:48,524
All right.
367
00:15:48,548 --> 00:15:49,992
Very, very nice.
368
00:15:50,016 --> 00:15:51,994
Uh, now, uh...
369
00:15:52,018 --> 00:15:54,681
why don't the two of you
shake hands and make up?
370
00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:00,235
That was very nice.
371
00:16:00,259 --> 00:16:02,604
Well, guess that takes
care of everything.
372
00:16:02,628 --> 00:16:04,620
Not so fast!
373
00:16:05,832 --> 00:16:08,063
What about you
and Dad making up?
374
00:16:10,636 --> 00:16:12,648
I'm willing, if he is.
375
00:16:12,672 --> 00:16:14,650
I am.
376
00:16:14,674 --> 00:16:17,186
I consider us made up.
377
00:16:17,210 --> 00:16:19,270
How about a hug?
378
00:16:24,851 --> 00:16:26,843
A handshake?
379
00:16:33,559 --> 00:16:35,537
It was a stupid fight.
380
00:16:35,561 --> 00:16:37,587
Very.
381
00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:40,776
Oh, honey.
382
00:16:42,168 --> 00:16:43,445
We really should hurry.
383
00:16:43,469 --> 00:16:44,713
I told Bernie Packer
384
00:16:44,737 --> 00:16:47,332
we'd give him a
ride to the party.
385
00:16:49,742 --> 00:16:51,920
Get him a mule.
386
00:16:51,944 --> 00:16:53,422
Steven!
387
00:16:53,446 --> 00:16:55,858
Elyse, you know I
don't like the man!
388
00:16:55,882 --> 00:16:57,025
But it's raining!
389
00:16:57,049 --> 00:16:58,727
What was I going to
do, tell him to take a bus?
390
00:16:58,751 --> 00:17:00,596
No, no, he can ride in our car.
391
00:17:00,620 --> 00:17:02,231
- I'll take the bus!
- Fine!
392
00:17:02,255 --> 00:17:04,266
- Okay!
- Ooh!
393
00:17:05,825 --> 00:17:07,603
This meeting is
called because of rain!
394
00:17:07,627 --> 00:17:09,705
Aah...!
395
00:17:20,239 --> 00:17:22,251
You dance divinely, my dear.
396
00:17:22,275 --> 00:17:24,403
Likewise, I'm sure.
397
00:17:25,611 --> 00:17:27,589
Don't you wish there
were some boys here?
398
00:17:27,613 --> 00:17:30,105
No. I'm very happy with you.
399
00:17:31,817 --> 00:17:33,295
Thank you. Thank you.
400
00:17:33,319 --> 00:17:34,863
Truly, we're blessed.
401
00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:36,798
Whoa! Mom! Dad!
402
00:17:37,791 --> 00:17:40,469
Perfect! That's a keeper.
403
00:17:40,493 --> 00:17:41,637
Congratulations!
404
00:17:41,661 --> 00:17:42,905
- Oh!
- Oh!
405
00:17:42,929 --> 00:17:45,774
And my love to both of
you on this day of days.
406
00:17:45,798 --> 00:17:46,942
Oh, thank you, Chaim.
407
00:17:46,966 --> 00:17:48,110
Thank you, Chaim.
408
00:17:48,134 --> 00:17:50,112
I often say to Chaim,
409
00:17:50,136 --> 00:17:55,083
"Steven and Elyse due
cuori che battono come uno."
410
00:17:55,107 --> 00:17:58,353
"They have two hearts
that beat as one."
411
00:17:58,377 --> 00:18:00,155
Thank you, Akila.
412
00:18:00,179 --> 00:18:01,924
I never heard
you say that, Akila.
413
00:18:01,948 --> 00:18:04,593
Whoa! Guys!
414
00:18:05,618 --> 00:18:07,712
Perfect. That's a keeper.
415
00:18:10,623 --> 00:18:12,034
Brrr...!
416
00:18:12,058 --> 00:18:13,569
Guess who!
417
00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:15,170
That's a tough one.
418
00:18:15,194 --> 00:18:16,371
Bernie Packer.
419
00:18:16,395 --> 00:18:18,106
How'd you know?
420
00:18:18,130 --> 00:18:21,543
Golly, Steven, how many years
has it been now... eight, nine?
421
00:18:21,567 --> 00:18:24,279
Hey, Guido's, huh? Nice place.
422
00:18:24,303 --> 00:18:27,282
It's a lot like you, Steve...
Luxury on a budget.
423
00:18:28,841 --> 00:18:30,152
So, what's for supper?
424
00:18:30,176 --> 00:18:32,688
Or, gee, was I supposed
to bring a bag lunch?
425
00:18:32,712 --> 00:18:34,556
Brrr!
426
00:18:34,580 --> 00:18:38,026
Oh, there she is!
There's the little bride!
427
00:18:38,050 --> 00:18:39,795
Bernie, nice to see you!
428
00:18:39,819 --> 00:18:43,465
Aw, golly, golly, golly, this
is just great, isn't it, guys?
429
00:18:43,489 --> 00:18:45,534
Tell you what. You
two lucky kids...
430
00:18:45,558 --> 00:18:47,235
You're going to spend a week...
431
00:18:47,259 --> 00:18:49,204
That's seven days
and five nights...
432
00:18:50,596 --> 00:18:53,842
at my condo on Lake Erie!
433
00:18:53,866 --> 00:18:56,612
- Uh, Bernie...
- Oh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh!
434
00:18:56,636 --> 00:19:00,539
It's just 'cause I
love you, guy! Brrr!
435
00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:05,053
You know, Bernie,
Steven doesn't like to let on,
436
00:19:05,077 --> 00:19:07,876
but he feels just the
same way about you.
437
00:19:09,215 --> 00:19:12,361
Once in a while, he gets
this faraway look in his eye,
438
00:19:12,385 --> 00:19:14,463
and... and I say,
"Sweetie, what is it?"
439
00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:18,447
And he said, "Elyse,
I miss Bernie Packer."
440
00:19:24,964 --> 00:19:27,275
Okay, uh, got to be
out there somewhere.
441
00:19:27,299 --> 00:19:29,077
Where are they?
Yes, there they are.
442
00:19:29,101 --> 00:19:30,879
The anniversary couple and
our hosts for the evening...
443
00:19:30,903 --> 00:19:33,515
Come on to the dance floor,
Steve and Elyse... the Keatons!
444
00:19:33,539 --> 00:19:35,531
Yay!
445
00:19:48,587 --> 00:19:51,099
I'm surprised you
wanted to dance with me.
446
00:19:51,123 --> 00:19:53,135
I wasn't going to make a scene.
447
00:19:53,159 --> 00:19:54,803
That's sweet.
448
00:19:57,029 --> 00:19:58,373
"That's sweet."
449
00:19:58,397 --> 00:20:00,475
Do you know this last
week, living with you
450
00:20:00,499 --> 00:20:02,577
has not exactly been
a trip to the beach!
451
00:20:02,601 --> 00:20:03,912
Speaking of the beach,
452
00:20:03,936 --> 00:20:06,448
we now have one in our
kitchen, thanks to you-know-who.
453
00:20:06,472 --> 00:20:08,450
Yeah. Oh...!
454
00:20:08,474 --> 00:20:10,285
Now I'm responsible
for the rain?!
455
00:20:10,309 --> 00:20:13,355
Well, you're certainly not
responsible for the sunshine.
456
00:20:13,379 --> 00:20:16,458
That's it, Steven!
This dance is over!
457
00:20:16,482 --> 00:20:18,474
Good! Then get off my feet!
458
00:20:19,485 --> 00:20:21,263
Uh, excuse me. Excuse me.
459
00:20:21,287 --> 00:20:23,131
I hate to break
up the festivities,
460
00:20:23,155 --> 00:20:25,100
but, uh, if I could
have your attention,
461
00:20:25,124 --> 00:20:27,787
my, uh... my sisters and I
would like to make a toast.
462
00:20:29,762 --> 00:20:32,207
20 years ago today, they decided
463
00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:34,176
they couldn't live
without each other,
464
00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:36,635
and we're so glad
they felt like that.
465
00:20:38,671 --> 00:20:40,449
When Shari Scharfer dumped me
466
00:20:40,473 --> 00:20:43,518
for the captain of
the football team...
467
00:20:43,542 --> 00:20:45,721
Dad taught me
how to throw a spiral,
468
00:20:45,745 --> 00:20:48,340
and, uh, Mom taught
me how to tackle.
469
00:20:50,483 --> 00:20:52,594
They took me ice
skating and held me up
470
00:20:52,618 --> 00:20:56,298
when my ankles
turned, and, uh...
471
00:20:56,322 --> 00:20:58,382
Mom was seven months
pregnant with Jennifer.
472
00:20:59,892 --> 00:21:02,471
When nobody would
buy my Girl Scout cookies,
473
00:21:02,495 --> 00:21:04,930
Mom and Dad bought them all.
474
00:21:06,198 --> 00:21:07,876
They allowed the
Young Republicans
475
00:21:07,900 --> 00:21:09,766
to meet at our house.
476
00:21:11,537 --> 00:21:14,249
Though they probably wanted
to, they didn't say anything
477
00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:17,519
when, uh, Johnny
Holmstead took me out.
478
00:21:17,543 --> 00:21:20,206
He has blue hair and an earring.
479
00:21:22,748 --> 00:21:26,228
But, uh, most important of all,
480
00:21:26,252 --> 00:21:28,296
the way they respect each other,
481
00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:30,098
the way they're open
482
00:21:30,122 --> 00:21:33,401
to each other's feelings
and needs has, uh...
483
00:21:33,425 --> 00:21:36,805
has taught us the values
by which we live our lives.
484
00:21:36,829 --> 00:21:38,740
And we love them.
485
00:21:38,764 --> 00:21:40,242
Mom, Dad...
486
00:21:40,266 --> 00:21:43,512
Happy anniversary!
487
00:21:43,536 --> 00:21:45,213
- Speech! Speech, Steven!
- Speech! Speech!
488
00:21:45,237 --> 00:21:47,215
Come on, Steven, say something.
489
00:21:47,239 --> 00:21:49,217
- Speech! Speech, Elyse!
- Speech! Speech!
490
00:21:51,343 --> 00:21:53,822
I'm embarrassed and
proud at the same time.
491
00:21:53,846 --> 00:21:56,091
Me, too. Uh...
492
00:21:56,115 --> 00:21:57,359
- I...
- You...
493
00:21:57,383 --> 00:21:59,427
I-I think we should
tell you that...
494
00:21:59,451 --> 00:22:02,898
Steven and I have
been fighting all week.
495
00:22:02,922 --> 00:22:05,100
Uh, we, uh... we
have been fighting
496
00:22:05,124 --> 00:22:07,068
about, uh, all kinds of things.
497
00:22:07,092 --> 00:22:09,304
- Yeah.
- About, uh, uh, the roof leaking, uh...
498
00:22:09,328 --> 00:22:10,806
Oh, yeah. The...
499
00:22:10,830 --> 00:22:12,307
About, uh, this party.
500
00:22:13,499 --> 00:22:14,810
About, uh...
501
00:22:14,834 --> 00:22:16,826
Brrr! Brrr!
502
00:22:18,237 --> 00:22:20,816
About everything.
503
00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:24,319
Thank you, Alex,
Mallory and Jennifer
504
00:22:24,343 --> 00:22:26,321
for, uh... for showing
your mother and I
505
00:22:26,345 --> 00:22:27,574
how foolish we've been.
506
00:22:28,981 --> 00:22:30,992
I think we just forgot
507
00:22:31,016 --> 00:22:33,862
how much we care
about each other.
508
00:22:33,886 --> 00:22:36,364
How much we need each other.
509
00:22:36,388 --> 00:22:38,667
I'm sorry, Elyse.
510
00:22:38,691 --> 00:22:41,503
I'm sorry, too, Steven.
511
00:22:41,527 --> 00:22:45,006
I love you.
512
00:22:45,030 --> 00:22:47,022
I love you, too.
513
00:22:48,968 --> 00:22:50,445
Happy anniversary.
514
00:22:50,469 --> 00:22:52,013
Happy anniversary!
515
00:22:52,037 --> 00:22:54,006
Happy anniversary.
516
00:22:57,676 --> 00:22:59,855
Wait! Wait! No, it's not over.
517
00:22:59,879 --> 00:23:01,489
Hit it, boys!
518
00:23:02,915 --> 00:23:06,828
♪ Oh, how we danced ♪
519
00:23:06,852 --> 00:23:08,897
♪ On the night ♪
520
00:23:08,921 --> 00:23:12,567
♪ We were wed ♪
521
00:23:12,591 --> 00:23:16,805
♪ We vowed our true love ♪
522
00:23:16,829 --> 00:23:22,644
♪ Though a word wasn't said. ♪
523
00:23:51,730 --> 00:23:53,541
Sit, Ubu, sit. Good dog.
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