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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,036 --> 00:00:05,028 ♪♪ 2 00:00:13,313 --> 00:00:18,795 ♪ I bet we've been together for a million years ♪ 3 00:00:18,819 --> 00:00:24,534 ♪ And I bet we'll be together for a million more ♪ 4 00:00:24,558 --> 00:00:27,036 ♪ Oh, it's like I started breathing ♪ 5 00:00:27,060 --> 00:00:29,839 ♪ On the night we kissed ♪ 6 00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:35,078 ♪ And I can't remember what I ever did before ♪ 7 00:00:35,102 --> 00:00:43,102 ♪ What would we do, baby, without us? ♪ 8 00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:51,594 ♪ And there ain't no nothing we can't love each other through ♪ 9 00:00:51,618 --> 00:00:57,567 ♪ What would we do, baby, without us? ♪ 10 00:00:57,591 --> 00:01:00,390 ♪ Sha-la-la-la. ♪ 11 00:01:04,164 --> 00:01:06,576 Who's that? 12 00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:08,411 Uh, that's Dad's mother's mother, 13 00:01:08,435 --> 00:01:09,846 our great-grandmother. 14 00:01:09,870 --> 00:01:12,430 She had real flabby arms. 15 00:01:14,841 --> 00:01:16,537 Yeah, they're a nice match with the legs. 16 00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:20,256 There's a nice-looking guy. 17 00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:21,691 Who's that? 18 00:01:21,715 --> 00:01:23,411 That's Vic Damone. 19 00:01:24,351 --> 00:01:26,496 His picture came with the album. 20 00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:27,764 Mm. 21 00:01:27,788 --> 00:01:29,132 Oh, look. 22 00:01:29,156 --> 00:01:31,501 "Mr. and Mrs. Charles Donnelly announce the wedding 23 00:01:31,525 --> 00:01:32,969 "of their daughter Elyse Katherine 24 00:01:32,993 --> 00:01:34,571 to Steven Richard Keaton." 25 00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:38,141 Hey, Mom, look at your old wedding invitation. 26 00:01:38,165 --> 00:01:40,076 1964. 27 00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:41,477 20 years ago. 28 00:01:41,501 --> 00:01:42,712 Steven, can you believe it? 29 00:01:43,737 --> 00:01:45,949 I guess he can't believe it. 30 00:01:45,973 --> 00:01:48,117 Are you guys gonna have a party? 31 00:01:48,141 --> 00:01:49,552 Well, I'm working on it, 32 00:01:49,576 --> 00:01:51,487 but your father doesn't like to celebrate these things. 33 00:01:51,511 --> 00:01:53,623 Of course I do. 34 00:01:53,647 --> 00:01:56,426 I love to celebrate these things. 35 00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:59,829 I just don't like big parties. 36 00:01:59,853 --> 00:02:02,065 I happen to believe it's possible 37 00:02:02,089 --> 00:02:03,833 to have a celebration with, uh, 38 00:02:03,857 --> 00:02:05,835 fewer than a thousand people. 39 00:02:05,859 --> 00:02:07,971 You used to like big gatherings. 40 00:02:07,995 --> 00:02:09,739 Elyse, this is our anniversary, 41 00:02:09,763 --> 00:02:11,874 not the march on Washington. 42 00:02:11,898 --> 00:02:13,209 You know, actually, 43 00:02:13,233 --> 00:02:15,578 you already agreed to have a party. 44 00:02:15,602 --> 00:02:17,180 When did I agree? 45 00:02:17,204 --> 00:02:18,314 Last year. Don't you remember? 46 00:02:18,338 --> 00:02:19,949 Just the two of us had dinner together. 47 00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:21,250 Course I remember. 48 00:02:21,274 --> 00:02:23,486 It was very romantic. 49 00:02:23,510 --> 00:02:24,854 Well, this year, instead of romance, 50 00:02:24,878 --> 00:02:26,608 let's have fun. 51 00:02:29,349 --> 00:02:32,495 You know what I mean. 52 00:02:32,519 --> 00:02:35,698 Let's face it, Dad, she wants a big party. 53 00:02:35,722 --> 00:02:37,367 Well, it's our 20th; it's a big day. 54 00:02:37,391 --> 00:02:39,202 I-I just feel there are a lot of people 55 00:02:39,226 --> 00:02:40,803 that I would like to share that with. 56 00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:43,306 Okay, Elyse, if you insist on having a party, 57 00:02:43,330 --> 00:02:44,607 I won't stand in your way. 58 00:02:44,631 --> 00:02:46,309 Sounds like a go to me. 59 00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:47,543 This is so exciting. 60 00:02:47,567 --> 00:02:48,778 You're going to love it, Steven. 61 00:02:48,802 --> 00:02:50,580 Where-where will we have the party? 62 00:02:50,604 --> 00:02:52,382 Anyplace you want is okay with me. 63 00:02:52,406 --> 00:02:53,416 You decide. 64 00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:54,984 I am thoroughly amenable. 65 00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:57,453 Uh, maybe we could get the banquet room at Guido's. 66 00:02:57,477 --> 00:02:59,355 Not Guido's. 67 00:02:59,379 --> 00:03:01,057 What's the matter with Guido's? 68 00:03:01,081 --> 00:03:02,558 N-nothing, no... 69 00:03:02,582 --> 00:03:04,027 Guido's-Guido's is fine. 70 00:03:04,051 --> 00:03:06,462 Okay, I'll keep it small and intimate, Steven, I promise. 71 00:03:06,486 --> 00:03:07,997 What, just a few other couples? 72 00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:10,733 Well, now, if we're going to rent a room 73 00:03:10,757 --> 00:03:12,201 and hire a band, I think, I think... 74 00:03:12,225 --> 00:03:13,488 A band?! 75 00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:16,706 Okay, okay, a band is fine. 76 00:03:16,730 --> 00:03:17,974 I'll stay out of this. 77 00:03:17,998 --> 00:03:19,509 It sounds like fun, Mom. Do you want me 78 00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:20,910 to call Guido's and reserve the room? 79 00:03:20,934 --> 00:03:22,045 No, that's okay. 80 00:03:22,069 --> 00:03:24,061 I already called them. 81 00:03:27,441 --> 00:03:29,085 Hi, Mom. What's for dinner? 82 00:03:29,109 --> 00:03:31,354 You know, I thought we'd start out with some hors d'oeuvres... 83 00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:33,489 Rumaki, pigs in blankets, things like that... 84 00:03:33,513 --> 00:03:37,660 And then chicken Florentine, zucchini, pastry, and coffee. 85 00:03:37,684 --> 00:03:39,929 Well, I'll have everything except the coffee. 86 00:03:39,953 --> 00:03:41,397 Let's eat. 87 00:03:41,421 --> 00:03:45,201 Oh, honey, I'm sorry. I was talking about the party. 88 00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:47,470 Oh. And what are we having tonight? 89 00:03:47,494 --> 00:03:50,487 Tonight we're having Captain Barnacle's take-out fish balls. 90 00:03:52,365 --> 00:03:54,677 Again? 91 00:03:54,701 --> 00:03:58,347 Well, I hope they defrosted them this time. 92 00:03:58,371 --> 00:04:00,349 Oh, hello, everybody. 93 00:04:00,373 --> 00:04:01,818 - You did! - I did not. 94 00:04:01,842 --> 00:04:03,419 - I know you did, Alex. - No, no, no. 95 00:04:03,443 --> 00:04:05,254 You think you know I did, but I didn't. 96 00:04:05,278 --> 00:04:07,090 Steven, where are the fish balls? 97 00:04:07,114 --> 00:04:08,758 I couldn't start the car. 98 00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:10,560 I had to leave it at work. 99 00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:11,894 I took the bus home. 100 00:04:11,918 --> 00:04:13,796 I'm soaked to the skin. 101 00:04:13,820 --> 00:04:15,965 I couldn't get the fish balls. 102 00:04:15,989 --> 00:04:17,633 Oh, Steven. 103 00:04:17,657 --> 00:04:21,059 You couldn't get the fish balls?! 104 00:04:22,963 --> 00:04:25,942 Let me run this by you again, Elyse. 105 00:04:25,966 --> 00:04:27,944 I couldn't start the car. 106 00:04:27,968 --> 00:04:29,412 Had to leave it at work. 107 00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:30,980 Took the bus home. 108 00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:32,996 I couldn't get the fish balls. 109 00:04:34,374 --> 00:04:36,252 Say it with me, "I couldn't..." 110 00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:37,987 - "I couldn't start..." - Dad...! 111 00:04:38,011 --> 00:04:40,523 Dad, Alex has been reading my diary. 112 00:04:40,547 --> 00:04:42,558 I know because he's been using words and phrases 113 00:04:42,582 --> 00:04:43,726 that I use in it. 114 00:04:43,750 --> 00:04:45,061 Look, that is not true. 115 00:04:45,085 --> 00:04:46,863 Her-her accusations are... 116 00:04:46,887 --> 00:04:50,299 totally bogus and grody to the max. 117 00:04:50,323 --> 00:04:52,702 You see? He doesn't talk like that. 118 00:04:52,726 --> 00:04:54,604 Look, I didn't read her diary, okay? 119 00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:56,472 I went into her room to look for a book. 120 00:04:56,496 --> 00:04:59,830 Ha! What would a book be doing in my room? 121 00:05:03,937 --> 00:05:06,930 She's got me there... 122 00:05:08,708 --> 00:05:11,187 for sure. 123 00:05:11,211 --> 00:05:15,024 I really had my heart set on those fish balls. 124 00:05:15,048 --> 00:05:17,226 So, Mom, what is for dinner? 125 00:05:17,250 --> 00:05:19,395 Well, we've got some frozen waffles. 126 00:05:19,419 --> 00:05:21,798 Throw 'em in the toaster. 127 00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:24,133 I'd love to throw 'em in the toaster, 128 00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:25,668 but the toaster is broken. 129 00:05:25,692 --> 00:05:27,436 I have some gum in my room. 130 00:05:27,460 --> 00:05:29,705 That should hold me over till breakfast. 131 00:05:29,729 --> 00:05:32,708 Look, Steven, I-I've got to talk to you about the arrangements. 132 00:05:32,732 --> 00:05:34,744 Now, now, Guido's is all set for the party. 133 00:05:34,768 --> 00:05:37,180 Guido's? H... Oh, okay. 134 00:05:37,204 --> 00:05:38,881 Guido's, uh... Guido's is fine. 135 00:05:38,905 --> 00:05:40,840 Whatever you do will be fine. 136 00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:46,989 Is it raining in here? 137 00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:49,659 Yes, it is! I thought we had that fixed. 138 00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:51,828 - I did! I'll call the roofer. - Thank you. 139 00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:54,263 - Dad, you've got to talk to Alex. - About what? 140 00:05:54,287 --> 00:05:55,865 About reading my diary. 141 00:05:55,889 --> 00:05:59,001 Alex, read your sister's diary. 142 00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:00,503 Dad! 143 00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:02,972 Look, I didn't read her stupid diary. 144 00:06:02,996 --> 00:06:06,375 How would you know my diary's stupid if you hadn't read it? 145 00:06:06,399 --> 00:06:08,711 Mallory, I don't have to stick my hand in water 146 00:06:08,735 --> 00:06:10,446 to know it's wet. 147 00:06:10,470 --> 00:06:14,617 Okay, now, guys, the roofer can be here Wednesday after 3:00. 148 00:06:14,641 --> 00:06:16,219 Can anybody be here? 149 00:06:16,243 --> 00:06:17,353 - I'm busy. - Not me. -STEVEN: I can't. 150 00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:20,156 Oh! I'll try to be here. 151 00:06:20,180 --> 00:06:22,391 Steven, I-I've got to talk to you about these arrangements. 152 00:06:22,415 --> 00:06:24,393 Now, I've got the guest list here, and-and I... 153 00:06:24,417 --> 00:06:26,662 That is the guest list? 154 00:06:26,686 --> 00:06:30,032 Why don't we use this guest list? 155 00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:32,034 Fewer people. 156 00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:35,037 - I'll look through it. - I bet you will. 157 00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:36,606 Oh, this is gonna be a fun party. 158 00:06:36,630 --> 00:06:37,773 I'm really looking forward to it. 159 00:06:37,797 --> 00:06:39,308 Yeah, me, too. 160 00:06:39,332 --> 00:06:41,310 Mallory, can you put something under this drip? 161 00:06:41,334 --> 00:06:44,847 You're a drip, Alex. Why don't you sit in it?! 162 00:06:44,871 --> 00:06:48,364 All right, Mallory. Bag your face. 163 00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:54,056 - 20 years, huh? - Yeah. It seems just like, uh... 164 00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:56,058 Fifty. 165 00:06:59,786 --> 00:07:02,531 Yes... Y-Yes... I see. 166 00:07:02,555 --> 00:07:05,368 I understand you're very busy now, but... 167 00:07:05,392 --> 00:07:08,738 uh, now is when our roof is leaking. 168 00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:12,642 I'm sorry we never call you when it's sunny. 169 00:07:12,666 --> 00:07:16,045 Wh-When can you come? 170 00:07:16,069 --> 00:07:18,347 A month from Thursday. 171 00:07:18,371 --> 00:07:21,517 Well, I-I appreciate your squeezing us in. 172 00:07:21,541 --> 00:07:23,052 Thank you. 173 00:07:23,076 --> 00:07:24,587 You're a saint. 174 00:07:24,611 --> 00:07:26,603 Thank you. 175 00:07:28,748 --> 00:07:30,726 Sorry I'm late. I stayed at the office 176 00:07:30,750 --> 00:07:32,862 to put the guest list through the computer. 177 00:07:32,886 --> 00:07:35,665 You forgot the roofer, Elyse. 178 00:07:35,689 --> 00:07:37,733 Oh, no, I didn't. He's invited. 179 00:07:37,757 --> 00:07:39,623 I mean, you weren't home when he got here. 180 00:07:40,660 --> 00:07:42,305 So what? 181 00:07:42,329 --> 00:07:43,639 So I forgot the roofer. 182 00:07:43,663 --> 00:07:46,108 So what?! 183 00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:48,244 So what? Have you been in the kitchen lately? 184 00:07:48,268 --> 00:07:50,112 - No. - No? 185 00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:52,114 Take a dinghy. 186 00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:54,417 Steven, I had a hard day at work. 187 00:07:54,441 --> 00:07:56,433 Please, let's not get into a fight. 188 00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:58,621 Okay. 189 00:07:58,645 --> 00:08:00,056 You're right. Uh... 190 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:02,191 Sorry you had such a bad day. 191 00:08:02,215 --> 00:08:03,759 Well, it really wasn't such a bad day. 192 00:08:03,783 --> 00:08:06,262 I had lunch with Suzanne, and she and Ron are coming. 193 00:08:06,286 --> 00:08:09,031 Oh, good. At least some of my friends will be there. 194 00:08:09,055 --> 00:08:10,266 Well, they can't get here till midnight, 195 00:08:10,290 --> 00:08:11,890 and they won't be able to stay very long. 196 00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:16,072 I also ran into, uh, Bernie Packer. 197 00:08:16,096 --> 00:08:18,074 Glad he's not invited. 198 00:08:18,098 --> 00:08:19,809 Well... 199 00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:22,578 - Elyse...! - Well, Suzanne assumed he was invited 200 00:08:22,602 --> 00:08:24,914 and mentioned it, so I had to invite him. 201 00:08:24,938 --> 00:08:26,549 He's a very sweet man. 202 00:08:26,573 --> 00:08:28,951 He was very helpful to my mother a couple years ago. 203 00:08:28,975 --> 00:08:31,687 In that case, why don't we take him in as a boarder? 204 00:08:31,711 --> 00:08:33,756 Elyse, the man is a buffoon. 205 00:08:33,780 --> 00:08:35,024 He's not a buffoon. 206 00:08:35,048 --> 00:08:36,959 He happens to have a very good sense of humor. 207 00:08:36,983 --> 00:08:38,427 Oh, is he? He's really funny. 208 00:08:38,451 --> 00:08:40,396 I especially like that noise he always makes. 209 00:08:40,420 --> 00:08:41,564 What noise? 210 00:08:43,456 --> 00:08:44,934 That noise. 211 00:08:44,958 --> 00:08:47,169 I never noticed that noise. 212 00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:50,506 How could you not notice? 213 00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:53,976 I am aware of the positive things about Bernie. 214 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:57,980 Is the most positive thing about Bernie. 215 00:08:58,004 --> 00:09:00,683 Look, I feel like we're having some problems here. 216 00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:02,718 If you don't want Bernie to come to the party, 217 00:09:02,742 --> 00:09:04,320 he doesn't have to come to the party. 218 00:09:04,344 --> 00:09:06,722 We don't even have to have a party! 219 00:09:06,746 --> 00:09:08,557 We are having the party. 220 00:09:08,581 --> 00:09:12,762 I'm not gonna miss my 20th anniversary because of you. 221 00:09:12,786 --> 00:09:16,032 You are having your 20th anniversary because of me! 222 00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:21,103 I-I'm having our 20th anniversary because of us. 223 00:09:21,127 --> 00:09:24,240 There wouldn't be any us if it weren't for me. 224 00:09:24,264 --> 00:09:25,975 Or me, so there. 225 00:09:29,002 --> 00:09:30,179 Hello! 226 00:09:30,203 --> 00:09:31,647 Bernie! 227 00:09:31,671 --> 00:09:32,982 Bernie Packer. 228 00:09:33,006 --> 00:09:35,999 Great. Say for me. 229 00:09:37,811 --> 00:09:39,422 You're coming? 230 00:09:39,446 --> 00:09:40,656 Fabulous! 231 00:09:40,680 --> 00:09:43,893 Steven will be so happy. 232 00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:46,295 Till then, Bern. Bye. 233 00:09:46,319 --> 00:09:49,298 Okay, Elyse, now all your friends are coming, 234 00:09:49,322 --> 00:09:51,233 including Bernie. Happy? 235 00:09:51,257 --> 00:09:52,368 Never happier. 236 00:09:52,392 --> 00:09:53,869 Oh, I've never been happier either. 237 00:09:53,893 --> 00:09:55,671 I'm delirious with glee. 238 00:09:55,695 --> 00:09:58,274 Bernie Packer is coming to our party. 239 00:09:58,298 --> 00:10:01,143 How much delight could one man possibly stand? 240 00:10:01,167 --> 00:10:03,079 Will you stop putting down Bernie? 241 00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:05,247 - I am crazy about Bernie! - Well, you can 242 00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:06,515 just spend the whole evening with Bernie. 243 00:10:06,539 --> 00:10:07,883 You can just dance with Bernie 244 00:10:07,907 --> 00:10:09,899 and your brains out. 245 00:10:12,078 --> 00:10:13,556 Mallory! 246 00:10:13,580 --> 00:10:15,524 - What are you doing in my room? - What are you doing 247 00:10:15,548 --> 00:10:17,259 - in my room? Reading my diary? - No, I was... 248 00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:18,627 - Would you... - Will you shut up?! 249 00:10:18,651 --> 00:10:21,864 I don't want any more yelling in this house! 250 00:10:21,888 --> 00:10:24,867 Happy anniversary! 251 00:10:24,891 --> 00:10:27,383 Many happy returns! 252 00:10:34,501 --> 00:10:35,878 Alex, will you get over here, please? 253 00:10:35,902 --> 00:10:38,080 We've got to talk about Mom and Dad's present. 254 00:10:38,104 --> 00:10:40,616 Speaking of talking, Jennifer, did you know that Mallory 255 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:43,018 is afraid to talk to Curt McMillan? 256 00:10:43,042 --> 00:10:45,454 Alex, the only way you would know that 257 00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:47,389 is if you read my diary. 258 00:10:47,413 --> 00:10:49,024 That's not true. 259 00:10:49,048 --> 00:10:53,028 He could've eavesdropped like I did... ah... 260 00:10:53,052 --> 00:10:54,763 Maybe this whole discussion is academic. 261 00:10:54,787 --> 00:10:56,432 I mean, the way they've been fighting, 262 00:10:56,456 --> 00:10:58,200 they're probably gonna call the party off. 263 00:10:58,224 --> 00:11:00,136 It is getting pretty rough. 264 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:02,204 Now they're fighting about anything. 265 00:11:02,228 --> 00:11:03,606 This is my umbrella. 266 00:11:03,630 --> 00:11:06,075 I don't know what you did with your stupid umbrella. 267 00:11:06,099 --> 00:11:08,310 You're right! It is a stupid umbrella! 268 00:11:08,334 --> 00:11:11,147 You bought it for me! 269 00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:13,382 Sounds like it's tapering off. 270 00:11:13,406 --> 00:11:15,384 Better than that ridiculous rain hat 271 00:11:15,408 --> 00:11:17,486 you bought me! 272 00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:20,823 Look, just on the off chance that they do make up, 273 00:11:20,847 --> 00:11:23,826 we have to get them a present. Now, what do they need? 274 00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:27,196 They need a lawyer. 275 00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:28,931 I hope they make up. 276 00:11:28,955 --> 00:11:31,700 I don't want to end up at some home for waifs. 277 00:11:31,724 --> 00:11:33,536 Now, come on, what should we get them? 278 00:11:33,560 --> 00:11:36,291 Let's get 'em a new set of tires. 279 00:11:37,397 --> 00:11:39,141 Look, I've got a much better idea. 280 00:11:39,165 --> 00:11:41,610 We'll get them, uh, matching sweater and slacks outfits. 281 00:11:41,634 --> 00:11:43,626 It'll be great. 282 00:11:45,838 --> 00:11:48,384 Uh, Mallory, we-we're shopping for our parents here, 283 00:11:48,408 --> 00:11:50,400 not Ken and Barbie. 284 00:11:52,412 --> 00:11:54,757 Alex, do you have to shoot down every good idea I have? 285 00:11:54,781 --> 00:11:58,294 Mallory, the day you get a good idea, let me know. 286 00:11:58,318 --> 00:12:00,729 I will! 287 00:12:00,753 --> 00:12:03,666 Okay. 288 00:12:03,690 --> 00:12:05,167 Will you two stop fighting? 289 00:12:05,191 --> 00:12:06,902 We've got to work this out. 290 00:12:06,926 --> 00:12:09,104 No, I disagree. 291 00:12:09,128 --> 00:12:11,461 I think we have a lot to learn from Einstein. 292 00:12:14,701 --> 00:12:17,913 Talking about the anniversary, hmm? 293 00:12:17,937 --> 00:12:19,481 Is there still gonna be one? 294 00:12:19,505 --> 00:12:21,337 Why wouldn't there be one? 295 00:12:25,545 --> 00:12:28,276 Been looking all over the house for this. 296 00:12:33,319 --> 00:12:36,031 Look, there's no doubt in my mind 297 00:12:36,055 --> 00:12:38,500 they'll make up before the party tomorrow night. 298 00:12:38,524 --> 00:12:41,961 But if they don't, I'm calling a family meeting. 299 00:12:43,796 --> 00:12:47,576 This family meeting is hereby called to order. 300 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:51,146 Will the secretary please read the minutes of the last meeting? 301 00:12:51,170 --> 00:12:53,749 You are the secretary, Jennifer. 302 00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:56,719 You're out of order. 303 00:12:56,743 --> 00:13:00,522 I know, I'm the secretary, Mallory. 304 00:13:00,546 --> 00:13:02,591 I'm just trying to be official here. 305 00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:04,226 Jennifer, you were about to read the minutes 306 00:13:04,250 --> 00:13:06,161 of the last meeting... Will you get to it, please? 307 00:13:06,185 --> 00:13:07,813 I, for one, want to hear them. 308 00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:11,934 You can't hear them. 309 00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:14,036 I was going to get to that. 310 00:13:14,060 --> 00:13:17,706 You see, I was reading them in the bathtub last night... 311 00:13:17,730 --> 00:13:18,707 and... 312 00:13:18,731 --> 00:13:20,996 well, the rest is history. 313 00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:25,764 The Chair recognizes Mommy. 314 00:13:28,274 --> 00:13:30,185 I would just like to point out 315 00:13:30,209 --> 00:13:32,988 that we're supposed to be at Guido's in 20 minutes. 316 00:13:33,012 --> 00:13:35,190 If we do not proceed with this meeting, 317 00:13:35,214 --> 00:13:36,992 we'll all miss the party. 318 00:13:37,016 --> 00:13:39,161 Suits me fine. 319 00:13:39,185 --> 00:13:41,997 I have the floor... You're out of order. 320 00:13:42,021 --> 00:13:45,768 She's right, Dad, technically, you are out of order. 321 00:13:45,792 --> 00:13:48,037 Now you're out of order, Alex. 322 00:13:48,061 --> 00:13:51,407 How can I be out of order telling him he's out of order? 323 00:13:51,431 --> 00:13:54,176 You're out of order again. 324 00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:57,146 Listen, the whole purpose of this meeting is 325 00:13:57,170 --> 00:14:00,015 for us to discuss all the fighting that's been going on. 326 00:14:00,039 --> 00:14:01,684 - I'm tired of it. - So am I. 327 00:14:01,708 --> 00:14:03,585 Me, too... Alex, I don't see why 328 00:14:03,609 --> 00:14:06,511 you and your sister can't get along better. 329 00:14:07,914 --> 00:14:10,492 Pardon me for pointing it out, Mom, 330 00:14:10,516 --> 00:14:14,419 but you and Dad haven't exactly been Ozzie and Harriet. 331 00:14:15,822 --> 00:14:17,266 Well, look, uh, kids, 332 00:14:17,290 --> 00:14:19,201 we don't need a meeting like this. 333 00:14:19,225 --> 00:14:23,172 Your mother and I can settle our little differences ourselves. 334 00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:25,674 Really? The two of you haven't slept 335 00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:29,378 in the same room for the past three nights. 336 00:14:29,402 --> 00:14:31,394 I haven't been tired. 337 00:14:34,741 --> 00:14:37,052 I don't like it when you guys fight. 338 00:14:37,076 --> 00:14:38,887 It's scary. 339 00:14:38,911 --> 00:14:40,756 Sounds like you don't like each other. 340 00:14:40,780 --> 00:14:42,791 Honey, we don't mean to scare you. 341 00:14:42,815 --> 00:14:46,528 So, now, you're ready to make up? 342 00:14:46,552 --> 00:14:48,797 Uh, well, um, I-I... I think the first thing 343 00:14:48,821 --> 00:14:51,400 that needs to happen here, um, procedurally speaking, 344 00:14:51,424 --> 00:14:53,802 is for Alex and Mallory to end their fight. 345 00:14:53,826 --> 00:14:55,818 How about it? 346 00:14:57,296 --> 00:14:59,575 I will make up with Alex 347 00:14:59,599 --> 00:15:03,379 if he promises never to read my diary again. 348 00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:05,681 I didn't read it in the first place. 349 00:15:05,705 --> 00:15:06,982 Prove it. 350 00:15:07,006 --> 00:15:10,352 For one thing, Mallory, it has a lock on it. 351 00:15:10,376 --> 00:15:12,242 How would you know? 352 00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:16,258 I, uh... 353 00:15:16,282 --> 00:15:19,928 I've admired it from a distance. 354 00:15:19,952 --> 00:15:22,264 I'll bet! 355 00:15:22,288 --> 00:15:24,133 Okay, look, I promise, all right? 356 00:15:24,157 --> 00:15:27,002 You have to promise to stay away from my records. 357 00:15:27,026 --> 00:15:29,171 All right. 358 00:15:29,195 --> 00:15:31,907 I'm sorry for all the names I called you. 359 00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:33,942 Likewise. 360 00:15:33,966 --> 00:15:35,525 Say, "I'm sorry." 361 00:15:37,336 --> 00:15:39,328 I'm sorry. 362 00:15:40,740 --> 00:15:42,117 Louder. 363 00:15:42,141 --> 00:15:44,219 I'm sorry. 364 00:15:44,243 --> 00:15:45,220 Louder. 365 00:15:45,244 --> 00:15:47,356 Mallory...! 366 00:15:47,380 --> 00:15:48,524 All right. 367 00:15:48,548 --> 00:15:49,992 Very, very nice. 368 00:15:50,016 --> 00:15:51,994 Uh, now, uh... 369 00:15:52,018 --> 00:15:54,681 why don't the two of you shake hands and make up? 370 00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:00,235 That was very nice. 371 00:16:00,259 --> 00:16:02,604 Well, guess that takes care of everything. 372 00:16:02,628 --> 00:16:04,620 Not so fast! 373 00:16:05,832 --> 00:16:08,063 What about you and Dad making up? 374 00:16:10,636 --> 00:16:12,648 I'm willing, if he is. 375 00:16:12,672 --> 00:16:14,650 I am. 376 00:16:14,674 --> 00:16:17,186 I consider us made up. 377 00:16:17,210 --> 00:16:19,270 How about a hug? 378 00:16:24,851 --> 00:16:26,843 A handshake? 379 00:16:33,559 --> 00:16:35,537 It was a stupid fight. 380 00:16:35,561 --> 00:16:37,587 Very. 381 00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:40,776 Oh, honey. 382 00:16:42,168 --> 00:16:43,445 We really should hurry. 383 00:16:43,469 --> 00:16:44,713 I told Bernie Packer 384 00:16:44,737 --> 00:16:47,332 we'd give him a ride to the party. 385 00:16:49,742 --> 00:16:51,920 Get him a mule. 386 00:16:51,944 --> 00:16:53,422 Steven! 387 00:16:53,446 --> 00:16:55,858 Elyse, you know I don't like the man! 388 00:16:55,882 --> 00:16:57,025 But it's raining! 389 00:16:57,049 --> 00:16:58,727 What was I going to do, tell him to take a bus? 390 00:16:58,751 --> 00:17:00,596 No, no, he can ride in our car. 391 00:17:00,620 --> 00:17:02,231 - I'll take the bus! - Fine! 392 00:17:02,255 --> 00:17:04,266 - Okay! - Ooh! 393 00:17:05,825 --> 00:17:07,603 This meeting is called because of rain! 394 00:17:07,627 --> 00:17:09,705 Aah...! 395 00:17:20,239 --> 00:17:22,251 You dance divinely, my dear. 396 00:17:22,275 --> 00:17:24,403 Likewise, I'm sure. 397 00:17:25,611 --> 00:17:27,589 Don't you wish there were some boys here? 398 00:17:27,613 --> 00:17:30,105 No. I'm very happy with you. 399 00:17:31,817 --> 00:17:33,295 Thank you. Thank you. 400 00:17:33,319 --> 00:17:34,863 Truly, we're blessed. 401 00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:36,798 Whoa! Mom! Dad! 402 00:17:37,791 --> 00:17:40,469 Perfect! That's a keeper. 403 00:17:40,493 --> 00:17:41,637 Congratulations! 404 00:17:41,661 --> 00:17:42,905 - Oh! - Oh! 405 00:17:42,929 --> 00:17:45,774 And my love to both of you on this day of days. 406 00:17:45,798 --> 00:17:46,942 Oh, thank you, Chaim. 407 00:17:46,966 --> 00:17:48,110 Thank you, Chaim. 408 00:17:48,134 --> 00:17:50,112 I often say to Chaim, 409 00:17:50,136 --> 00:17:55,083 "Steven and Elyse due cuori che battono come uno." 410 00:17:55,107 --> 00:17:58,353 "They have two hearts that beat as one." 411 00:17:58,377 --> 00:18:00,155 Thank you, Akila. 412 00:18:00,179 --> 00:18:01,924 I never heard you say that, Akila. 413 00:18:01,948 --> 00:18:04,593 Whoa! Guys! 414 00:18:05,618 --> 00:18:07,712 Perfect. That's a keeper. 415 00:18:10,623 --> 00:18:12,034 Brrr...! 416 00:18:12,058 --> 00:18:13,569 Guess who! 417 00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:15,170 That's a tough one. 418 00:18:15,194 --> 00:18:16,371 Bernie Packer. 419 00:18:16,395 --> 00:18:18,106 How'd you know? 420 00:18:18,130 --> 00:18:21,543 Golly, Steven, how many years has it been now... eight, nine? 421 00:18:21,567 --> 00:18:24,279 Hey, Guido's, huh? Nice place. 422 00:18:24,303 --> 00:18:27,282 It's a lot like you, Steve... Luxury on a budget. 423 00:18:28,841 --> 00:18:30,152 So, what's for supper? 424 00:18:30,176 --> 00:18:32,688 Or, gee, was I supposed to bring a bag lunch? 425 00:18:32,712 --> 00:18:34,556 Brrr! 426 00:18:34,580 --> 00:18:38,026 Oh, there she is! There's the little bride! 427 00:18:38,050 --> 00:18:39,795 Bernie, nice to see you! 428 00:18:39,819 --> 00:18:43,465 Aw, golly, golly, golly, this is just great, isn't it, guys? 429 00:18:43,489 --> 00:18:45,534 Tell you what. You two lucky kids... 430 00:18:45,558 --> 00:18:47,235 You're going to spend a week... 431 00:18:47,259 --> 00:18:49,204 That's seven days and five nights... 432 00:18:50,596 --> 00:18:53,842 at my condo on Lake Erie! 433 00:18:53,866 --> 00:18:56,612 - Uh, Bernie... - Oh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh! 434 00:18:56,636 --> 00:19:00,539 It's just 'cause I love you, guy! Brrr! 435 00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:05,053 You know, Bernie, Steven doesn't like to let on, 436 00:19:05,077 --> 00:19:07,876 but he feels just the same way about you. 437 00:19:09,215 --> 00:19:12,361 Once in a while, he gets this faraway look in his eye, 438 00:19:12,385 --> 00:19:14,463 and... and I say, "Sweetie, what is it?" 439 00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:18,447 And he said, "Elyse, I miss Bernie Packer." 440 00:19:24,964 --> 00:19:27,275 Okay, uh, got to be out there somewhere. 441 00:19:27,299 --> 00:19:29,077 Where are they? Yes, there they are. 442 00:19:29,101 --> 00:19:30,879 The anniversary couple and our hosts for the evening... 443 00:19:30,903 --> 00:19:33,515 Come on to the dance floor, Steve and Elyse... the Keatons! 444 00:19:33,539 --> 00:19:35,531 Yay! 445 00:19:48,587 --> 00:19:51,099 I'm surprised you wanted to dance with me. 446 00:19:51,123 --> 00:19:53,135 I wasn't going to make a scene. 447 00:19:53,159 --> 00:19:54,803 That's sweet. 448 00:19:57,029 --> 00:19:58,373 "That's sweet." 449 00:19:58,397 --> 00:20:00,475 Do you know this last week, living with you 450 00:20:00,499 --> 00:20:02,577 has not exactly been a trip to the beach! 451 00:20:02,601 --> 00:20:03,912 Speaking of the beach, 452 00:20:03,936 --> 00:20:06,448 we now have one in our kitchen, thanks to you-know-who. 453 00:20:06,472 --> 00:20:08,450 Yeah. Oh...! 454 00:20:08,474 --> 00:20:10,285 Now I'm responsible for the rain?! 455 00:20:10,309 --> 00:20:13,355 Well, you're certainly not responsible for the sunshine. 456 00:20:13,379 --> 00:20:16,458 That's it, Steven! This dance is over! 457 00:20:16,482 --> 00:20:18,474 Good! Then get off my feet! 458 00:20:19,485 --> 00:20:21,263 Uh, excuse me. Excuse me. 459 00:20:21,287 --> 00:20:23,131 I hate to break up the festivities, 460 00:20:23,155 --> 00:20:25,100 but, uh, if I could have your attention, 461 00:20:25,124 --> 00:20:27,787 my, uh... my sisters and I would like to make a toast. 462 00:20:29,762 --> 00:20:32,207 20 years ago today, they decided 463 00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:34,176 they couldn't live without each other, 464 00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:36,635 and we're so glad they felt like that. 465 00:20:38,671 --> 00:20:40,449 When Shari Scharfer dumped me 466 00:20:40,473 --> 00:20:43,518 for the captain of the football team... 467 00:20:43,542 --> 00:20:45,721 Dad taught me how to throw a spiral, 468 00:20:45,745 --> 00:20:48,340 and, uh, Mom taught me how to tackle. 469 00:20:50,483 --> 00:20:52,594 They took me ice skating and held me up 470 00:20:52,618 --> 00:20:56,298 when my ankles turned, and, uh... 471 00:20:56,322 --> 00:20:58,382 Mom was seven months pregnant with Jennifer. 472 00:20:59,892 --> 00:21:02,471 When nobody would buy my Girl Scout cookies, 473 00:21:02,495 --> 00:21:04,930 Mom and Dad bought them all. 474 00:21:06,198 --> 00:21:07,876 They allowed the Young Republicans 475 00:21:07,900 --> 00:21:09,766 to meet at our house. 476 00:21:11,537 --> 00:21:14,249 Though they probably wanted to, they didn't say anything 477 00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:17,519 when, uh, Johnny Holmstead took me out. 478 00:21:17,543 --> 00:21:20,206 He has blue hair and an earring. 479 00:21:22,748 --> 00:21:26,228 But, uh, most important of all, 480 00:21:26,252 --> 00:21:28,296 the way they respect each other, 481 00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:30,098 the way they're open 482 00:21:30,122 --> 00:21:33,401 to each other's feelings and needs has, uh... 483 00:21:33,425 --> 00:21:36,805 has taught us the values by which we live our lives. 484 00:21:36,829 --> 00:21:38,740 And we love them. 485 00:21:38,764 --> 00:21:40,242 Mom, Dad... 486 00:21:40,266 --> 00:21:43,512 Happy anniversary! 487 00:21:43,536 --> 00:21:45,213 - Speech! Speech, Steven! - Speech! Speech! 488 00:21:45,237 --> 00:21:47,215 Come on, Steven, say something. 489 00:21:47,239 --> 00:21:49,217 - Speech! Speech, Elyse! - Speech! Speech! 490 00:21:51,343 --> 00:21:53,822 I'm embarrassed and proud at the same time. 491 00:21:53,846 --> 00:21:56,091 Me, too. Uh... 492 00:21:56,115 --> 00:21:57,359 - I... - You... 493 00:21:57,383 --> 00:21:59,427 I-I think we should tell you that... 494 00:21:59,451 --> 00:22:02,898 Steven and I have been fighting all week. 495 00:22:02,922 --> 00:22:05,100 Uh, we, uh... we have been fighting 496 00:22:05,124 --> 00:22:07,068 about, uh, all kinds of things. 497 00:22:07,092 --> 00:22:09,304 - Yeah. - About, uh, uh, the roof leaking, uh... 498 00:22:09,328 --> 00:22:10,806 Oh, yeah. The... 499 00:22:10,830 --> 00:22:12,307 About, uh, this party. 500 00:22:13,499 --> 00:22:14,810 About, uh... 501 00:22:14,834 --> 00:22:16,826 Brrr! Brrr! 502 00:22:18,237 --> 00:22:20,816 About everything. 503 00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:24,319 Thank you, Alex, Mallory and Jennifer 504 00:22:24,343 --> 00:22:26,321 for, uh... for showing your mother and I 505 00:22:26,345 --> 00:22:27,574 how foolish we've been. 506 00:22:28,981 --> 00:22:30,992 I think we just forgot 507 00:22:31,016 --> 00:22:33,862 how much we care about each other. 508 00:22:33,886 --> 00:22:36,364 How much we need each other. 509 00:22:36,388 --> 00:22:38,667 I'm sorry, Elyse. 510 00:22:38,691 --> 00:22:41,503 I'm sorry, too, Steven. 511 00:22:41,527 --> 00:22:45,006 I love you. 512 00:22:45,030 --> 00:22:47,022 I love you, too. 513 00:22:48,968 --> 00:22:50,445 Happy anniversary. 514 00:22:50,469 --> 00:22:52,013 Happy anniversary! 515 00:22:52,037 --> 00:22:54,006 Happy anniversary. 516 00:22:57,676 --> 00:22:59,855 Wait! Wait! No, it's not over. 517 00:22:59,879 --> 00:23:01,489 Hit it, boys! 518 00:23:02,915 --> 00:23:06,828 ♪ Oh, how we danced ♪ 519 00:23:06,852 --> 00:23:08,897 ♪ On the night ♪ 520 00:23:08,921 --> 00:23:12,567 ♪ We were wed ♪ 521 00:23:12,591 --> 00:23:16,805 ♪ We vowed our true love ♪ 522 00:23:16,829 --> 00:23:22,644 ♪ Though a word wasn't said. ♪ 523 00:23:51,730 --> 00:23:53,541 Sit, Ubu, sit. Good dog. 34839

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