Original subtitles

♪ I bet we've been together ♪

♪ for a million years ♪

♪ and I bet we'll be together ♪

♪ for a million more ♪

♪ oh, it's like I Started breathing ♪

♪ on the night we kissed ♪

♪ and I can't remember ♪

♪ what I ever did before ♪

♪ what would we do, baby ♪

♪ without us ♪

♪ what would we do, baby ♪

♪ without us ♪

♪ and there ain't no nothing ♪

♪ we can't love Each other through ♪

♪ what would we do, baby ♪

♪ without us ♪

♪ sha la la la ♪

Pass the business section.

I'm not done yet.

How's the market Doing this morning?

Don't ask.

All right, ok, who's Got the editorial?

Me. There's a really Interesting piece

On the influence of The early primaries

In the presidential campaign.

How's dennis the menace, mal?

Alex, for your information,

I'm reading the human Interest sections.

Fashion, health And beauty guide.

You know, the world Could blow up...

You wouldn't even know about it.

I'd know about it Before you, alex.

Horoscope section.

Ah... Oh, good. I'm glad You're all here. We gotta talk.

Does anybody know What next thursday is?

Sure. It's mom's birthday.

And it's also the end of the First quarter of the fiscal year.

Don't you hate it when Two festive occasions

Fall on the same day?

Well, look, I'd like to do Something special this year,

Like throw a surprise Party for your mother.

Oh, come on. Oh, dad, That's so embarrassing.

What?

Look, dad, we know You mean well,

But your surprise Parties never work.

That is not true. What about The surprise party I planned

For andy's first birthday?

I knew about it months before.

This is gonna be different.

I've got the perfect plan.

Now, look,

You kids tell mom you Want to take her out

For a special birthday dinner.

At the last moment,

I'll pretend I can't go because Of some emergency at the office.

Oh, she'll buy that, dad. No, listen, listen, listen.

So, anyway, when you go out,

I'll come home and I'll let the guests in,

And the food, I'll Get the food set...

What's going on?

Mm, nothing. Absolutely nothing.

All right, what's this about?

I can't take the pressure.

I wonder what's bothering andy.

I better go check on the kids.

Well, something's going on.

Oh-ho!

Hey, skippy. What's up?

Oh, not much. It's just One of those rare evenings

Where I have no plans.

I thought maybe one of you Would like to go out tonight.

Uh, tell you what, skip, I'd Love to, but I got a date tonight.

I understand.

How about you, mal?

Ordinarily, I'd love to, skippy,

Um, but I'm busy tonight.

A friend's coming Over to pick me up.

We're going to Study at the library.

Maybe I'll come along.

I can turn pages for you

And sharpen pencils.

I make a good paperweight.

Maybe some other time.

Skip, I'll tell you what.

You know, I could call And cancel my date.

We could do something.

Oh, no, no. That's Ok, alex. I'll be fine.

I'll go home, work On my posture.

Yeah.

Ok, pal.

Hello.

Hello.

I'm here to pick up mallory.

Oh, right. Yes, come in, please.

Won't you sit down?

Sure. Thank you.

Can I get you Something to drink?

No, thank you.

I'm skippy handleman.

Hi. I'm amy sussman.

So you're the one who's Going to the library with...

Mallory.

Right. Right.

We're in psychology class Together at grant college.

I go to grant.

I don't think I've Ever seen you there.

Well, I spend most of my time Locked away in the science library.

I'm premed.

Oh, well, that explains It. See, I'm not premed.

What are you, prelaw?

No. I'm sort of...

Premature.

What I mean is, I haven't really Found the classes I want to take.

Well, that's ok. Choosing A career is a big decision.

No, I mean I physically Can't find my classes.

Amy? Oh, I thought I saw Your car. Are you ready?

Ok. Uh-huh.

Well, it was nice Meeting you, skippy.

I hope I see you around campus.

Me, too.

Bye.

Bye.

Uh, can we, uh, can we Talk to you for a moment?

Yeah. What's up?

Well, um...

As you know, your Birthday is next week,

And... And we'd...

We'd like to take you out

For a special birthday dinner.

Right.

Oh, oh, that's... That's very sweet,

But I thought we'd just Stay home that night,

Quiet family dinner here.

All right, look, mom,

Um, ok, we didn't want To have to tell you this,

But dad is planning a Surprise party for you.

You're kidding.

I'm real sorry, mom.

Part of the plan was for Us to take you out to dinner.

All right. I'll go upstairs

And I'll tell him How excited I am

About going out to Dinner on my birthday.

Whoa, mom, mom, mommy?

Um...

Listen, since, uh, since we Are taking you out to dinner...

You know, we planned this Elaborate party for you...

Uh, will you still Be expecting gifts?

No, that's fine, honey. I still haven't used

That beautiful blank Check you gave me last year.

Oh, I'll get it.

Yeah?

Oh, good. Uh, mallory,

I need to talk to You for a minute.

Ok. Go.

Mallory, I can't stop thinking About your friend amy.

You like amy?

Like her? I spent The whole day today

Just following Her around campus.

Not only did I fall in love, I Found a lot of my classes.

She's coming over in a Minute. You should ask her out.

She's coming here, now?

I got to go.

What's the big deal?

Well, mallory, I can't Ask a girl out on a date.

You've asked me Out on lots of dates.

But that's different. I Know you're gonna say no.

There's no pressure.

That's her. I can't speak.

I'll go out the back door.

Skippy, sit!

Hi, mallory. Amy, hi.

Come on in.

Thanks.

Oh, hi, skippy.

Ahs fas mas.

Amy, before we start, Skippy has something

He'd like to ask you.

Amy, skippy would like to know

If you'd like to go Out on a date with him.

Why, sure, I'd like that.

How about tomorrow night?

I think that'll be fine.

Tomorrow night Ok with you, skippy?

So, how long have You known mallory?

All my life.

Oh, yeah, mallory's been hung Up on me since we were kids.

Well, I hope I'm not barging In on her territory here.

No, no, that Territory is wide open.

Have you decided yet?

Yes, I believe we have.

What is the most Expensive dish on the menu?

That would be the swordfish With lemon butter at $20.

Skippy, that's too expensive.

No, no, no, no. I can handle it.

My dad said we could Use his american express.

We don't take american express.

Skippy, it's all right. I've got some money.

Would you mind giving Us a few more minutes?

Not at all, ma'am.

And may I suggest that you Act as the representative

From your table for The rest of the evening?

Amy, this is not going The way I planned.

I'm embarrassing you, I'm embarrassing me.

No, you're not.

Look, let's just Get out of here.

Woman: oh! Oh, my goodness!

Ok, that was a Little embarrassing.

I'm sure if we sit Down and calm down

That everything will be fine.

Amy, look, I have to admit,

I'm very nervous about this.

I just... I can't believe

That you agreed To go out with me.

Why not?

You are sweet,

And you're funny,

And you're cute.

Is there someone paying You to say these things?

No.

In that case,

This is the greatest Moment of my life.

I wish I could be shot And stuffed right now

So it would never end.

Ok, dad, tonight's the night.

The reservations Are all set for 7:00,

And mom doesn't suspect a thing.

This is going great.

She's going to Have a great ti...

Ah, so, jen, uh, congratulations On that nobel prize.

What?

Good cover, dad.

So, you, uh, looking forward To your dinner this evening?

Oh, oh, very much.

I'm just sorry that You can't make it.

How do you think I feel?

I'm ready to go, I get a call,

Big emergency Down at the station.

Locusts.

They're all over the building.

I, uh...

I think I should be down there.

You're very brave.

I'll get it. That's...

Surprise! Surprise!

Happy birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy birthday!

Roger, christine, what Are you doing here?

We're here for Elyse's surprise party.

Nice going. You're Only 6 hours early.

Look, we're really sorry.

Why don't we just leave Our present and go.

The whole thing is ruined now.

You might as well Keep the present.

They were always Our stupidest friends.

Honey, I'm sorry.

You must have worked Awfully hard on this party.

Oh, it's not me I'm worried about.

I just feel bad for the kids.

You know, uh...

We could pretend That nothing happened.

We, uh...

Really.

We could go through With the party.

I... I think it would Mean a lot to the kids.

It's a fine plan, steven.

Excuse me.

Hoo hoo hoo! Ha ha ha ha!

I'd keep an eye on mom, dad.

I don't think she's gonna Make it to the surprise party.

Hey. Alex...

Hi. Can we come in?

Yeah, skip, amy, how you doing?

Good. How are you? Good to see you guys.

Haven't seen you in a long time.

Well, you know how it is, alex.

The old ball and chain Keeps me on the run.

Is mallory home?

Mm-hmm. She's upstairs, amy.

Thanks.

See you later, honey bear.

Sometimes she Calls me honey bear.

I heard.

Well, it's nice to see You so happy, skippy.

Oh, I really am, alex. I'm As happy as I've ever been.

Amy is the greatest Girl in the world.

I love everything about her.

The way she looks, The way she talks,

The way she chews her food.

I bet she chews each Bite 30 or 40 times.

Don't let her go, skip.

But, alex, there's a problem.

Now, everything's going Great between me and amy.

And tonight she asked me To go over to her dorm room.

Usually her roommate's There and everything's fine,

But tonight, we're gonna Be alone for the first time.

Ah, I see.

I'm not an experienced Guy like you, alex.

I don't know what to do.

I'm 19 years old, And I've never...

You know.

Oh, skip, come on, Take it easy, all right?

A lot of 19-year-old Guys have never...

You know.

It seems like I'm the only one.

It'll happen naturally.

Ok? It's like a... It's Like a flower blossoms.

Like a tree sheds its leaves.

Like a branch reaches For the sunlight.

What, it happened for You in an arboretum?

It's gonna be more Difficult than I thought.

Alex, you've got to help me.

I don't know what to do. I Don't know what to wear.

All right, skip, look,

You are my oldest And dearest friend, ok?

I can share this with you.

Now, there is a romantic formula

That's been very Successful for me in the past.

Now, you can remember it Very simply with one word.

Fiscal.

Fiscal?

Start out with The first letter, "F."

It stands for female.

Make sure there's one there.

What does "I" stand for?

"I" is useful for Beginning sentences

Like, "I love you."

"I need you. I want you."

"I'd like you to lock the door."

This is the kind Of stuff I need.

"S."

Sensitivity.

Pretend you have some.

"C" is for caring.

Pretend you do.

"A."

"A" is for alex.

Think of me, you know? Everything will be all right.

I bet "L" stands for love.

No. "L" is for lighting.

You want a warm, Romantic atmosphere.

I generally bring My own lighting.

Hey, what are you Two talking about?

Oh, nothing, nothing. Just, uh, guy talk.

What have you two Been talking about?

Girl talk.

Well, everything Seems to be in order.

Oh! We've got 6:30 dinner Reservations, so we'd better go.

All right, ok, take care, guys.

Bye. We will. See you later.

Did he talk to you About tonight?

Yeah. Yeah, a little.

What, did she talk To you about tonight?

Oh, a little. She's nervous.

Yeah. What did you say?

Well...

I just said that There are no rules

Or plans to loving someone

And that if two people care For and respect each other,

Everything will be fine.

What did you say?

Basically the same thing.

Well, here we are.

Yeah. It feels strange being Here without your roommate.

I miss mary beth.

Are... Are you sure she Won't be coming back tonight?

Well, she's visiting Her parents in alaska.

So she's probably Sleeping there.

I think I'll go get some water And make some hot cocoa.

Ok. Uh,

I'll wait here just in case mary Beth does decide to come back.

Ok.

Let's see. "F is for female."

I got that.

"I is for I love You, I need you,

I'd like you to lock the door."

Wait a minute, she won't Be able to get back in.

We lose our "F."

"Sensitive. Caring."

I am both of these things.

"A, think of alex."

All right.

Let's put...

There you go.

"L for lighting."

A romantic atmosphere.

No.

Ok.

Oh, yes.

Now we are prepared for An evening of romance...

And a red alert.

I guess "L" could Also stand for lotion.

Whoa.

I need all the help I can get.

Skippy, have you been Developing photographs?

I just figured this would Make the room a little cozier.

Oh.

Are you wearing cologne?

Me? No! No.

You probably put too Much perfume on tonight.

I don't wear perfume.

You don't? What's that stuff Over there on your dresser?

Formaldehyde.

At least I'll keep well.

Yeah. Well...

Would you like to have a seat?

Ok.

You mean over there.

Or I could go over there.

No, no, no, that's ok! Allow me.

So, here we are,

Just me and you...

A man and a woman.

Right.

One of each.

You know, they say these Things happen naturally.

I've heard that before.

Maybe it happened already.

Maybe it did.

So... Was it good for you?

Oh!

Are you ok?

I'm fine.

Oh... It was my fault.

No, no, no. I'm sorry. I'm just so nervous.

I don't know... Me, too.

Something's not right, Something in the air.

Smoke.

Smoke, tension, whatever.

Skippy, the lamp is on fire!

The lamp is on fire! The lamp is on fire!

Water! Get water! Fast, water! Ah! Hot! Ah!

Skippy! Please! Oh!

All right, Everybody, this is it!

Let's all get into position!

Shh! Shh!

Someone get the lights!

All right. Shh, shh.

Surprise! Surprise! Surprise!

Oh! Thank you, but It didn't go that well.

Is alex here?

No, he's out with his mom And andy and the girls.

You see, this is a surprise Party for mrs. Keaton.

Somebody's coming!

Shh! Shh!

Hide somewhere.

Get the lights again. Shh, shh!

Surprise! Surprise!

Hi.

All right, everybody! It's looking good!

We're just about Ready for the big one!

Hi there.

Hi.

You left in a hurry.

Amy, I'm sorry about tonight.

I ruined everything.

I was trying so hard

Just to make a nice Romantic evening...

It was romantic.

It was just a little smoky.

Amy, you are the best thing That's ever happened to me.

You know, I feel more Comfortable with you

Than with anyone Else in the world.

I'm sorry I was acting So crazy tonight.

It's just, I've never done This kind of thing before.

I think we're both Just beginners at this.

So let's not rush it.

It doesn't matter How fast we go,

Just as long as we go together.

You really like me.

I can't believe it.

It seems so... Unnatural.

Well, this came Off without a hitch.

Dad can really plan These things, can't he?

It's worse than mine.

Hello! I'm home!

Steven.

Just a minute.

Uh, steven.

Oh, elyse.

Hey, look, Everybody! It's elyse!

Surprise! Surprise! Surprise!

Oh, wow! Hi, honey.

You surprised?

I had no idea.

Ok.

Great surprise party.

Yeah, well, we pretty much Wrote the book on surprises.

So, you two, how was your night?

Oh, alex, we had a great night.

Great. Good. You guys Are a great couple.

Thanks.

And thank you, mallory, For introducing us.

Oh, it was my pleasure. I mean, You are perfect for each other.

And just remember, In a relationship,

It's best not to Intellectualize things too much.

Just listen to your hearts.

That's why nick and I have Such a perfect relationship.

We don't think about anything.

Like when a little Problem comes up,

We just pretend We're wild birds.

We follow our natural instincts.

And then... And then something Magical and wonderful happens.

You fly south for the winter?

Well, it wasn't Easy getting here,

But the important thing is We're all together on my birthday.

Yeah.

I love you all. Love you, too.

♪ happy birthday to you ♪

♪ happy birthday to you ♪

♪ happy birthday ♪

♪ dear mom ♪ ♪ dear elyse ♪

♪ happy birthday to you ♪

Sit, ubu, sit.

Good dog.