Original subtitles

Johnny mathis: ♪ I bet We've been together ♪

♪ for a million years ♪

Deniece williams: ♪ and I Bet we'll be together ♪

♪ for a million more ♪

♪ oh, it's like I Started breathing ♪

♪ on the night we kissed ♪

Both: ♪ and I can't remember ♪

♪ what I ever did before ♪

♪ what would we do, baby ♪

♪ without us? ♪

♪ what would we do, baby ♪

♪ without us? ♪

♪ and there ain't no nothin' ♪

♪ we can't love Each other through ♪

♪ ooh hoo ♪

♪ what would we do, baby ♪

♪ without us? ♪

♪ sha la la la ♪

Who's that?

You.

Who am I?

My mommy. That's right.

And who's that pretty girl?

Jennifer.

Who's jennifer?

My sister. That's right.

Who's that?

Alex.

Who is alex?

Alex is king.

There you go, andy.

Alex, that is disgraceful.

What... What you must Have gone through

Just to get him to say that.

Ho ho. Mom, why Can't you accept it?

That happens to be andrew's Personal assessment of me.

It may change, but for now...

Alex is king.

Mallory, where have you been?

I expected you here an hour ago.

I didn't expect to be late.

I had a conference with One of my professors.

You have actual Professors at grant college?

I thought they just had Those instructional records.

And I can't believe how much Work there is at college.

I've got... I've got 3 Papers due next week,

2 tests, and a multimedia Presentation to give.

I'm never gonna Get through all this.

Well, you didn't forget you said you'd Baby-sit for andrew tonight, did you?

No, I didn't forget. Nick's Gonna be over in a few minutes.

Great. Now you have 2 people to baby-sit.

Alex, I have told You a hundred times,

When you take a Phone message for me,

Write down who called, when They called, and what it was about.

I did. Look.

"Somebody dumb called..."

"Sometime today

About something trivial."

Alex, this could be Any one of my friends,

And you know it.

Mallory, it was your turn To do the laundry today,

And I did it for You last week, too.

I can't do all of your chores For you. I've got a life, too.

You know, you people don't seem to Understand the pressure I'm under.

I'm 18 years old now. I'm going to college.

I've got tests and courses I've never even heard of.

I've got all these New responsibilities.

I'm not the high school Mallory anymore,

And college mallory doesn't Have time for all these chores.

I think I like the High school mallory

Better than the college mallory.

I think the whole line Should be discontinued.

Mallory, take it easy.

Now, we know you're going Through a difficult period here,

But everyone is gonna have To make some adjustments.

All I'm saying is that I'm Working very hard now.

I'm trying, and if people... And you know who you are...

Just get off my case for Every little, nitpicky thing,

Everything will be just fine.

Oh, mallory, is it Absolutely necessary

For you to use my razor And my shaving cream?

Fine. Great.

Don't want me to shave My legs. That's great.

I'll just completely Stop shaving. I'll be an ape.

Will that make you happy?

I don't think I could Be happier than this.

You know, I get home from a Hard day, and all I get is grief.

You're all against me. Why don't you just admit it?

Hi, mally.

Except for andrew. Andrew Loves me, but he's the only one.

Yeah, but his skull hasn't Completely hardened yet.

What has gotten Into you, mallory?

Me? Oh, nothing's Gotten into me.

I'm just, uh... I'm just tired

Of being picked on. That's all.

I mean, no matter what I do,

There's somebody around the Corner waiting to criticize me.

Nobody picks on Jennifer. Oh, no.

And nobody picks On alex. I mean, why?

I just wanna know why.

Alex is king.

Is andy asleep yet?

Ah, just about.

You know, I think he's been Spendin' too much time with alex.

Why?

He's sleepin' in a suit and tie.

That's why it's good That you're around, nick.

You're a role model for him.

I like kids. You know, They're so childish.

You know, this is the first time

I've been alone in the House for over a month.

Uh, you want me to go?

No. No, I want you to stay.

I mean, I wish it could be Just you and me all the time.

Me, too.

It's so nice when you And I are alone, nick.

I mean, I feel so Comfortable with you.

You don't ask me to do my Homework or do the laundry.

I don't even have to Think when I'm around you.

Yeah.

I know. Isn't it great?

Wouldn't it be great if This was just our place?

I mean, we could decorate It the way we want to...

Pink curtains on the windows

And your sculptures By the fireplace,

My fashion magazines arranged In a fan on the coffee table.

And, uh, yeah, a can of Motor oil on the mantel,

Placed just so.

You know what I'm Startin' to think?

The motor oil'd go Better on the table?

No.

I'm startin' to think We should get married.

Boy, was I way off.

I'm serious, nick. What do You think? Let's get married.

W-w-wait just a minute here.

you wanna marry me?

I wouldn't ask you If I didn't mean it.

This is great.

I mean, I never dreamt it Would happen this way.

I mean, usually the Guy asks. Am I right?

Nick, this makes perfect sense.

We'll have our own place, and There'll be nobody tellin' us what to do.

I mean, we don't have to do laundry For weeks if we don't want to.

In that case, uh, I accept. Uhh!

Oh, our lives together Will be so perfect.

I mean, I'll have none of these petty Problems I have around the house now.

It'll be like a dream.

Mallory...

I love you.

I love you, too.

All right.

Break it up. Break It up, will ya?

Higher primate comin' through.

Nick, should we tell him?

Tell him what?

You know.

Oh, about gettin' married? Yeah.

What?

I'm s... I...

What did you say?

That's right, alex.

Nick and I are Gonna get married.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

No.

No. You... You two Can't get married.

You can't even feed yourselves.

Hey, uh...

Little brother-in-law,

It's a delight to Join this family.

No, nick. This Family is quite full.

Try the handelmans next door.

You know, you're the First to know, alex.

I mean it. I mean it. Come on!

God! You two alone?

Who's gonna take care of you?

Who's gonna pay the rent?

Who's gonna work the appliances?

Alex, you're not thinking. I'm gonna get married.

I'm gonna move Out of this house.

I'm torn.

I admit it. I'm torn.

Oh, no! Oh, no!

That's not what's gonna happen.

You two are gonna get married,

And you're both Gonna live in this house.

No way, mallory. You're Not gonna do this to me.

Why does everything I do Somehow have to involve you?

Because I am the Center of your universe.

Not anymore, Alex. I'm getting out.

What's all that noise?

Andrew, andrew, you're Not gonna believe this.

Mallory and nick Are gettin' married.

Hey!

♪ hmm hmm ♪

♪ hmm... ♪

♪ I love you ♪

♪ mallory ♪

♪ I love you ♪

♪ you love me ♪

♪ I can't believe ♪

♪ that you proposed to me ♪

♪ marry me ♪

♪ marry me ♪

♪ mallory ♪

♪ m... ♪ ahem.

Very good. Very good. Very good.

Do you know this one?

♪ if you marry my sister ♪

♪ my father's gonna kill you ♪

Hi, fiancé.

All right, all right, all right.

Ok, come on. Look, This has gotta stop.

You gotta read... You Gotta read this article.

What am I talkin' about? Let me read it to you.

"80% of all marriages Between a m-man

"And a woman

Under the age of 21 end in divorce."

So, uh, we got a 50-50 chance, right?

Alex, this is none Of your business.

We should never Have even told you.

Yeah, well, you did tell Me, so it is my business.

Now, I'm comin' back With more statistics.

Do not get married Until I return.

Oh, nick. That's them. We have to tell them.

Ok, calm down. Let Me handle it, you know.

There is nothing to worry about.

Your parents and I Have come a long way.

I'll ask for their Permission to marry you.

It is my place to do it.

Well, if you're nervous About it, I'll do it.

No, no, no. I gotta do it.

I mean, you asked Me to marry you.

Let me ask them for permission.

Ok.

Hi, folks.

Hey.

Hey.

Uh, mr. Keaton, Mrs. Keaton, uh...

There's somethin' I'd like to tell you,

If you have a moment, that is.

I'm... There somethin' I'd like to ask you

If you have a moment, that is.

Do you have a moment, dear?

Yes, I do, dear.

We do, nick.

What is it?

Well, uh, sir and ma'am,

Uh, what I'd like to tell You is that mallory and I

Would like to get m-mahlkinned.

Mallory and you would Like to get m-mahlkinned?

I don't see why not.

Let me ask you this. What Language are you speaking?

Uh, mr. Keaton,

Mrs. Keaton,

Mallory and I

Would like to get married.

My wife and I are going To step out of this room,

And then we're Going to step back in,

And you are going to Tell us something else.

Elyse.

Mom, dad, nick and I Would like to get married.

And who's this, andy?

Mallory, my sister.

And who's this?

Nick.

And who's nick?

My brother-in-law.

I don't see why you're So upset about it, mom.

They're young. They're in love.

The whole world's against them.

It's so romantic.

Jennifer, this is Not west side story.

This is your sister about to make The biggest mistake of her life.

Andy and I think It's very romantic.

And it's completely Devastated your father.

♪ nobody knows The trouble I seen ♪

♪ nobody knows my sorrow ♪

Dad's out of control.

Has mallory been down?

No. She's been up In her room all day

Looking at china patterns.

She wants us to set a Date for the wedding.

♪ here comes the bride All dressed in white ♪

We have to talk to her, elyse.

We have to make her understand.

Steven, what else can we say? We've been over this a hundred times.

The fact is she has her Heart set on marrying nick,

And the more we protest,

The more determined She is to do it.

♪ old man river ♪

♪ that old man river ♪

Please stop singing spirituals.

Was I? I'm sorry. I Wasn't aware of it.

Mom, dad, I want you To meet gregg curran.

Gregg is a fraternity Brother of mine.

This is my mother elyse Keaton, my father steven keaton.

Gregg, good to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

Gregg is here for dinner

And, if all goes well, To marry mallory.

What are we having, elyse?

Something gregg likes, I hope.

You never said anything About marriage, alex.

You just asked me to Come meet your sister.

Oh, well, that's, uh...

That's all you're gonna do...

Today, gregg.

Tomorrow... Tomorrow Is a big day for you.

Picking out the ring,

Caterer, tuxedos.

Alex, this is no solution.

Don't stifle the Boy's creativity, elyse.

Mallory, I brought You something.

I mean, I want you to...

I want to meet someone. Mallory keaton, gregg curran.

Hello. Hi.

Well, you two are Really hittin' it off.

Let's leave these 2 lovebirds alone.

Alex, this is the Lowest you've ever sunk.

Come on, mallory. Look, you don't Know what you're passin' up here.

Take a look at this guy.

He's handsome. He's well-dressed.

He is genetically incapable

Of making less Than $50,000 a year.

Mallory, you Don't take him, I will.

You don't understand.

I don't wanna meet anyone else.

I've already met the Man of my dreams.

It's nick. I love him, And I'm gonna marry him.

Ah, gregg.

Gregg, listen. Uh, sorry... Ahem. Sorry this didn't work out,

And, um, I'm sorry you Can't stay for dinner.

Can't I get somethin' to go?

Gregg's gone.

Steven, what are we going to do?

Elyse, elyse, we'll try to Be reasonable as always,

But failing that, We have no choice.

We've got to ground her,

Keep her from seeing nick.

Ground her as she's Never been ground before.

Ground her deep, Ground her wide,

And ground her long.

I agree.

If we have to, we'll ground her.

♪ swing low ♪

♪ sweet chariot ♪

♪ comin' for to carry me home ♪

♪ swing low ♪

♪ sweet chariot ♪

♪ comin' for to carry me home ♪

Perhaps we should get To the matter at hand.

Hey, let her rip.

Well, nick, we asked you to Come have tea and crumpets

With us to make sure you Understand our position.

With all due respect,

I know that you is not Completely in support

Of our gettin' married.

Well, you misunderstand Our position, nick.

We've mulled this idea over,

And we really hate it.

Nick, um, I didn't know You were coming over.

Oh, yeah. Your Parents invited me.

They wanted to Have a little talk.

Oh, no.

No, don't jump to any Conclusions, mallory.

We just wanted to give nick An opportunity to explain

Why he's doing this Terrible thing to our family.

More tea, nick?

How could you do this?

Nick, would you mind leaving?

I wanna talk to My parents alone.

Ok.

Mr. Keaton. Mrs. Keaton.

Hey.

I cannot believe you Did that behind my back.

It's supposed to be the Happiest time of my life,

But you're ruining it.

We aren't meaning to, honey.

We... We just know that You're not ready to get married.

I am as ready as I can Be, and you know it.

You're just saying That because it's nick.

Admit it. You can't stand nick.

Ok. I can't stand nick,

But you could be Marrying saint nick,

And I'd say the same Thing. You're not ready.

It's just so Unrealistic, mallory.

You two can't begin To support each other.

Have you thought about that?

No, I can work, And nick can, too.

Well, what about college?

It doesn't matter now. Nick is what matters.

We both wanna get married, And we're gonna do it.

It's gonna work out. We can live on love.

♪ tote that barge, Lift that bale ♪

Mallory, you know How much we love you.

Listen to us.

The chances of this not Working out are so great.

Give yourself some Time. You're so young.

You've got so much ahead of you.

So young? Now, how old were the Two of you when you got married?

I forget.

You were 19, both of you.

Well, you got married, and Look how it worked out for you.

It hasn't worked out that great.

Right, elyse?

Right. It's a mess.

A-and we can't let you

Make the same Terrible mistake we did.

Nick and I are Gonna get married,

And there's nothing You can do to stop us.

Get this into your Head, young lady.

You're not marrying Nick or anyone else,

Not until we're ready!

No.

Well, until you can Start thinking clearly,

You're grounded!

That's right. You're grounded.

What? Are you joking?

You... You can't ground Me. I'm 18 years old.

I don't even have to live here.

Oh, really?

Really! I can't believe this.

You can't ground me 'cause I wanna get married.

Oh, no?

No. I'm an adult, I'm legal,

And you can't ground a marriage.

What are you gonna Do, ground nick, too?

We're looking into that.

Can I talk to you A minute, steven?

You surely may.

She's right, steven. We can't Ground someone her age.

But we've always Grounded. We're used to it.

It's worked so well for us.

We can't.

But how can we keep her?

If they take that away from us,

What have we got left?

An adult relationship

Based on respect and love.

A caring alliance of equals.

Grounding's better.

My parents will never Let me get married.

They tried to ground me.

Can you believe it? I'm So angry, I could scream.

Go ahead, scream.

Nah, everybody else Screams in this building.

It'll just blend right in.

No. It won't help.

I'm just so... Uhh!

You wanna hit the heavy bag?

No.

No, really. I mean it.

Come on. Just Give it a try, huh?

It works for me.

All right, all Right. Here. Watch.

Don't tell me I Ain't got no right

To look in your Garbage can. Uhh!

'cause I do.

Uhh!

Huh? All right.

Come on. Come here. Just... Just get it out.

Say what's on your mind,

And wail into it With all you got.

I want my parents to understand

I'm 18, and I got some rights.

All right, uh, that's It. Now you're talkin'.

All right, come on.

I love you, and I Wanna marry you.

And if I wanna get Married, I can get married,

And nobody can tell me I can't!

Not with a right like that, They ain't gonna tell you.

I want my own apartment!

I want my own furniture! I want my own life!

Definitely know what you want.

I want to elope, nick.

Ok. Uh, I know this Justice of the peace

In new jersey. My Cousin uses him a lot.

I wanna get married, nick.

I wanna get married tomorrow.

Sit, ubu, sit.

Good dog.