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1
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♪ I'll bet We've been together ♪
2
00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:17,827
♪ For a million years ♪
3
00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:19,962
♪ And I'll bet
We'll be together ♪
4
00:00:19,986 --> 00:00:23,032
♪ For a million more ♪
5
00:00:23,056 --> 00:00:25,868
♪ Ooh, it's like I
started breathin' ♪
6
00:00:25,892 --> 00:00:28,872
♪ On the night we kissed ♪
7
00:00:28,896 --> 00:00:34,377
♪ And I can't remember
What I ever did before ♪
8
00:00:34,401 --> 00:00:37,180
♪ What would we do, baby ♪
9
00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:38,736
♪ Without us? ♪
10
00:00:39,973 --> 00:00:42,618
♪ What would we do, baby ♪
11
00:00:42,642 --> 00:00:45,288
♪ Without us? ♪
12
00:00:45,312 --> 00:00:47,957
♪ And there ain't No nothin' ♪
13
00:00:47,981 --> 00:00:49,959
♪ We can't love
Each other through ♪
14
00:00:49,983 --> 00:00:51,261
♪ Ooh-hoo ♪
15
00:00:51,285 --> 00:00:54,131
♪ What would we do, baby ♪
16
00:00:54,155 --> 00:00:56,967
♪ Without us? ♪
17
00:00:56,991 --> 00:01:00,358
♪ Sha-la-la-la ♪
18
00:01:19,346 --> 00:01:20,790
I think Jennifer's improving,
19
00:01:20,814 --> 00:01:22,392
don't you, Mal?
20
00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:23,960
Yes, definitely.
21
00:01:23,984 --> 00:01:26,729
Couldn't she learn to
play something quieter...
22
00:01:26,753 --> 00:01:28,598
like checkers?
23
00:01:28,622 --> 00:01:30,000
Alex, we all put up with you
24
00:01:30,024 --> 00:01:32,235
when you were learning
how to play the accordion.
25
00:01:32,259 --> 00:01:33,736
Come on, Mallory,
that was different.
26
00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:36,272
I had a rare gift
for that instrument.
27
00:01:36,296 --> 00:01:38,608
Your teacher wound
up in an institution.
28
00:01:38,632 --> 00:01:39,909
Hey...
29
00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:42,545
Hey, Mrs. Billington had
serious personal problems
30
00:01:42,569 --> 00:01:45,270
way before I played
Lady of Spain.
31
00:01:47,307 --> 00:01:48,951
Isn't Uncle Ned here yet?
32
00:01:48,975 --> 00:01:50,152
Can't wait to play for him.
33
00:01:50,176 --> 00:01:51,354
He should be here any minute.
34
00:01:51,378 --> 00:01:52,922
I think you should
keep practicing.
35
00:01:52,946 --> 00:01:54,758
Uh, outside.
36
00:01:54,782 --> 00:01:55,792
Well, come on.
37
00:01:55,816 --> 00:01:57,660
The acoustics
are better outside.
38
00:01:57,684 --> 00:01:59,562
It's dark out, Alex.
39
00:01:59,586 --> 00:02:01,531
It'll get you in the
mood, Jennifer.
40
00:02:01,555 --> 00:02:03,488
You can play the blues.
41
00:02:04,491 --> 00:02:05,735
All right.
42
00:02:05,759 --> 00:02:07,470
But just call me when
Uncle Ned gets here,
43
00:02:07,494 --> 00:02:08,726
okay?
44
00:02:10,230 --> 00:02:13,243
So, Ma, think Uncle Ned's
gonna stay for a while this time?
45
00:02:13,267 --> 00:02:15,745
Well, it's hard to predict
anything about my brother.
46
00:02:15,769 --> 00:02:16,913
Only thing you can predict
47
00:02:16,937 --> 00:02:18,781
is he'll be unpredictable.
48
00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:20,817
And even that we're
not too sure about.
49
00:02:20,841 --> 00:02:22,318
If Dad gets him this
job at the station,
50
00:02:22,342 --> 00:02:23,686
he'll be able to
settle down. Now,
51
00:02:23,710 --> 00:02:25,188
don't get your
hopes up about this.
52
00:02:25,212 --> 00:02:26,956
Your dad's trying to
set up an interview,
53
00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:28,958
but I think you should
stop bugging him about it.
54
00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:30,927
What, me?
55
00:02:30,951 --> 00:02:32,496
I haven't been bugging him.
56
00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:34,498
Alex, you wallpapered
our bedroom
57
00:02:34,522 --> 00:02:35,954
with Ned's résumé.
58
00:02:37,591 --> 00:02:39,468
Hey!
59
00:02:39,492 --> 00:02:41,237
What's Jennifer doing outside?
60
00:02:41,261 --> 00:02:42,872
She's practicing her clarinet.
61
00:02:42,896 --> 00:02:44,974
Well, that explains
all the cats.
62
00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:46,475
So, Dad,
63
00:02:46,499 --> 00:02:48,945
you think you're gonna be able
to get Uncle Ned that interview?
64
00:02:48,969 --> 00:02:52,081
Alex, try and be a
little more sensitive.
65
00:02:52,105 --> 00:02:53,950
Did you have a good day, honey?
66
00:02:53,974 --> 00:02:55,518
Well, actually... Great.
67
00:02:55,542 --> 00:02:57,702
I did... Did you get
Ned the interview?
68
00:02:58,245 --> 00:03:00,390
Yes, I talked with Mr. Wertz.
69
00:03:00,414 --> 00:03:02,826
He says if Ned's
interested, he'll see him.
70
00:03:02,850 --> 00:03:04,928
Did the question of
Ned's past come up?
71
00:03:04,952 --> 00:03:06,195
Of course it came up, Elyse.
72
00:03:06,219 --> 00:03:07,931
I couldn't tell Wertz
that Ned just arrived
73
00:03:07,955 --> 00:03:10,099
from the planet Xenon.
74
00:03:10,123 --> 00:03:12,368
Sure beats telling him
he embezzled $4.5 million
75
00:03:12,392 --> 00:03:14,137
from his last job.
76
00:03:14,161 --> 00:03:16,205
Come on, Mom. He did
not embezzle anything.
77
00:03:16,229 --> 00:03:17,473
He didn't make
a penny from that.
78
00:03:17,497 --> 00:03:19,542
He simply hid that
money in the computer
79
00:03:19,566 --> 00:03:22,178
to prevent a merger that would
put a lot of people out of work.
80
00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:23,913
It... It was an act
of conscience.
81
00:03:23,937 --> 00:03:25,348
One man's act of conscience
82
00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:27,283
is another man's felony, Alex.
83
00:03:27,307 --> 00:03:29,018
He made a great sacrifice, Dad.
84
00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:31,520
He was vice president
of a major corporation.
85
00:03:31,544 --> 00:03:34,557
He gave that up for
something he believed in.
86
00:03:34,581 --> 00:03:36,426
Why are all those
cats out in the yard
87
00:03:36,450 --> 00:03:38,850
rolling on their backs?
88
00:03:42,356 --> 00:03:44,289
Maybe Jennifer's
practiced enough tonight.
89
00:03:45,792 --> 00:03:46,802
J... Look who's here.
90
00:03:46,826 --> 00:03:48,438
Hey!
91
00:03:48,462 --> 00:03:49,572
These were out on a curb.
92
00:03:49,596 --> 00:03:50,940
And it's a good
thing I happened by,
93
00:03:50,964 --> 00:03:52,041
'cause two guys in a truck
94
00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:53,743
were trying to
make off with them.
95
00:03:53,767 --> 00:03:56,012
Oh!
96
00:03:56,036 --> 00:03:57,847
♪ She's an uptown girl ♪
97
00:03:57,871 --> 00:03:59,015
How you been?
98
00:03:59,039 --> 00:04:00,783
Alex, hey. You've grown a hair.
99
00:04:00,807 --> 00:04:02,184
Hey, how are you? Steven, hey.
100
00:04:02,208 --> 00:04:04,721
You've grown many hairs. Yeah.
101
00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:06,823
My favorite sister.
102
00:04:06,847 --> 00:04:08,925
Oh, how are you? Oh, good.
103
00:04:08,949 --> 00:04:11,160
Well, here I am, huh?
104
00:04:11,184 --> 00:04:12,328
Let's celebrate, huh?
105
00:04:12,352 --> 00:04:13,596
Alex, you got any beers?
106
00:04:13,620 --> 00:04:15,798
Yeah, I think so. Yeah,
sure. Great, great.
107
00:04:15,822 --> 00:04:16,799
Thanks.
108
00:04:16,823 --> 00:04:18,167
♪ Ta-da ♪
Beautiful.
109
00:04:18,191 --> 00:04:20,431
Here, put this back
for me, would you?
110
00:04:21,294 --> 00:04:22,839
So how was the train ride?
111
00:04:22,863 --> 00:04:24,040
Good, good.
112
00:04:24,064 --> 00:04:26,442
Next time, I think
I'm gonna ride inside.
113
00:04:26,466 --> 00:04:28,711
Oh, you little monkey-face, you.
114
00:04:28,735 --> 00:04:31,381
Oh, hey, what's, uh...?
What's with the clarinet?
115
00:04:31,405 --> 00:04:33,549
I'm taking lessons. Do
you wanna hear me play?
116
00:04:33,573 --> 00:04:35,407
No.
117
00:04:43,483 --> 00:04:44,827
All right, all right, all right.
118
00:04:44,851 --> 00:04:47,196
And... five. One,
two, three, four, five.
119
00:04:47,220 --> 00:04:48,331
Ah, geography. Ooh.
120
00:04:48,355 --> 00:04:49,999
Ooh, yes. Okay, that's great.
121
00:04:50,023 --> 00:04:51,600
This is one of my
six best categories.
122
00:04:51,624 --> 00:04:53,069
How are you in
geography, Mallory?
123
00:04:53,093 --> 00:04:54,570
Well, let's put it
this way, Uncle Ned,
124
00:04:54,594 --> 00:04:58,007
we're happy when
she finds her way home.
125
00:04:58,031 --> 00:05:00,043
He's trying to break our
concentration, Uncle Ned.
126
00:05:00,067 --> 00:05:01,744
Just ignore him.
127
00:05:01,768 --> 00:05:03,712
Ignore whom?
128
00:05:03,736 --> 00:05:05,114
Don't worry about it, Mal.
129
00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:06,449
There's not a lot
in this category
130
00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:08,918
that Ned "Geography"
Donnelly doesn't know.
131
00:05:08,942 --> 00:05:10,719
Go ahead. Fire away, sis.
132
00:05:10,743 --> 00:05:11,720
"What country...?"
133
00:05:11,744 --> 00:05:14,957
Oh, no! A country question!
134
00:05:14,981 --> 00:05:16,625
Just forget it. Let me finish.
135
00:05:16,649 --> 00:05:17,960
Okay, all right. I panicked.
136
00:05:17,984 --> 00:05:19,462
Go ahead, go ahead.
137
00:05:19,486 --> 00:05:22,631
"What country drinks
the most beer per capita?"
138
00:05:22,655 --> 00:05:23,821
We give up.
139
00:05:24,724 --> 00:05:25,868
West Germany.
140
00:05:25,892 --> 00:05:27,570
What, they're ahead
of us in that too?
141
00:05:27,594 --> 00:05:28,604
All right, Alex, Alex,
142
00:05:28,628 --> 00:05:29,738
it is our patriotic duty
143
00:05:29,762 --> 00:05:31,308
to catch up with these jokers.
144
00:05:31,332 --> 00:05:32,742
Get some more
beer in here. I got it.
145
00:05:32,766 --> 00:05:35,144
I'll have one too,
Alex. Okey-doke.
146
00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:36,479
Oh, gosh. It is late, guys.
147
00:05:36,503 --> 00:05:37,747
Time for bed. Oh, yeah. Come on.
148
00:05:37,771 --> 00:05:39,015
Do we have to?
149
00:05:39,039 --> 00:05:40,850
I don't wanna go to bed yet.
150
00:05:40,874 --> 00:05:43,453
Yeah, Uncle Ned's been good.
Can't he stay up another hour?
151
00:05:43,477 --> 00:05:45,555
Come on, it's after 10.
We'll finish tomorrow.
152
00:05:45,579 --> 00:05:46,889
Yeah, but I wanted
to play a number
153
00:05:46,913 --> 00:05:48,558
for Uncle Ned before bed.
154
00:05:48,582 --> 00:05:51,227
No! Please, no!
155
00:05:51,251 --> 00:05:53,763
Reveille is at 0600.
156
00:05:54,788 --> 00:05:55,898
Okay, come on.
157
00:05:55,922 --> 00:05:57,967
Good night, guys.
Good night, babes.
158
00:05:57,991 --> 00:05:59,902
Oh, here you go,
Uncle Ned. Hey... Oh!
159
00:05:59,926 --> 00:06:01,204
Great. Ah... Dad. Alex. Hey!
160
00:06:04,931 --> 00:06:07,610
Going pretty heavy on
that stuff, aren't you, Ned?
161
00:06:07,634 --> 00:06:09,646
Uh, Jennifer and
Mallory aren't having any,
162
00:06:09,670 --> 00:06:12,248
so I'm just helping the
family meet its quota.
163
00:06:12,272 --> 00:06:13,616
Come on, sit down.
164
00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:14,683
I wanna talk to you.
165
00:06:14,707 --> 00:06:16,085
Oh, golly.
166
00:06:16,109 --> 00:06:19,222
This... sounds like some
brother and sister stuff to me.
167
00:06:19,246 --> 00:06:20,389
Yeah, it is.
168
00:06:20,413 --> 00:06:22,892
Come on, you know
what I'm gonna say.
169
00:06:22,916 --> 00:06:24,761
Don't you think it's
time you got a job?
170
00:06:24,785 --> 00:06:26,963
Oh, gee. Elyse, I just got here.
171
00:06:26,987 --> 00:06:29,198
Come on, give me a
chance to unpack my things.
172
00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:31,289
I've still got rail lag.
173
00:06:32,458 --> 00:06:33,636
It's time you got settled.
174
00:06:33,660 --> 00:06:35,504
I mean, you haven't had
a decent job in a year.
175
00:06:35,528 --> 00:06:36,639
No, no, no. That's not true.
176
00:06:36,663 --> 00:06:38,674
I had a great job for
three weeks in Denver.
177
00:06:38,698 --> 00:06:40,910
I was a doctor.
178
00:06:40,934 --> 00:06:42,779
Ned, be serious.
179
00:06:42,803 --> 00:06:46,082
Elyse, you be serious.
Who is gonna hire me now?
180
00:06:46,106 --> 00:06:47,250
Well, if you're interested,
181
00:06:47,274 --> 00:06:48,885
uh, there's an opening
down at the station
182
00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:50,887
for a program consultant.
183
00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:52,822
Uh, the interviews
officially ended last week,
184
00:06:52,846 --> 00:06:54,791
but, uh, I was able
to pull a few strings
185
00:06:54,815 --> 00:06:56,159
and get you one.
186
00:06:56,183 --> 00:06:58,527
I, uh, think you
might be good at it.
187
00:06:58,551 --> 00:07:00,318
I'd be great at it!
188
00:07:03,824 --> 00:07:05,334
Does that mean
you're interested?
189
00:07:05,358 --> 00:07:07,904
No, it means I
find you irresistible.
190
00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:09,138
Yes. Yes, I am.
191
00:07:09,162 --> 00:07:10,139
Oh! All right.
192
00:07:10,163 --> 00:07:11,473
This calls for a celebration.
193
00:07:11,497 --> 00:07:13,342
Barkeep, a few more
beers in here, please.
194
00:07:13,366 --> 00:07:15,133
I'm buying.
195
00:07:30,416 --> 00:07:32,150
Hungry, Alex?!
196
00:07:35,422 --> 00:07:37,400
Uncle Ned, I didn't
know you were there.
197
00:07:37,424 --> 00:07:39,535
Oh, I'm sorry. Are you okay?
198
00:07:39,559 --> 00:07:41,570
That depends.
199
00:07:41,594 --> 00:07:44,073
Just how important is the heart?
200
00:07:45,565 --> 00:07:46,842
Come on, sit down. Have a drink.
201
00:07:46,866 --> 00:07:48,611
It'll make you feel better.
202
00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:50,345
What are you doing
up so late, anyway?
203
00:07:50,369 --> 00:07:51,881
Ah, I gotta pull an all nighter
204
00:07:51,905 --> 00:07:54,283
for an Economics final tomorrow.
205
00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:56,753
Oh, well. Then you're
gonna need a beer.
206
00:07:56,777 --> 00:07:58,454
It'll help you study.
207
00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:00,189
Cause, "If you've got the time,
208
00:08:00,213 --> 00:08:02,324
we've got the beer."
209
00:08:02,348 --> 00:08:03,926
We haven't got the beer.
210
00:08:03,950 --> 00:08:04,950
Well...
211
00:08:06,219 --> 00:08:08,330
Alex, what do you say we
go make a beer run, huh?
212
00:08:08,354 --> 00:08:09,832
Ah, Uncle Ned, it's after 2.
213
00:08:09,856 --> 00:08:11,501
You know how to make
a beer run, don't you?
214
00:08:11,525 --> 00:08:13,335
Just tickle him
under his pop-top.
215
00:08:17,798 --> 00:08:19,208
Oh, well.
216
00:08:19,232 --> 00:08:21,712
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
217
00:08:23,202 --> 00:08:24,514
Yo, Uncle Ned, are you okay?
218
00:08:24,538 --> 00:08:27,016
I'm fine. I'm...
I'm fine. I'm fine.
219
00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:28,384
Let's see, now.
There ought to be
220
00:08:28,408 --> 00:08:31,086
some alcohol in here somewhere.
221
00:08:31,110 --> 00:08:32,955
Oh, what have we got?
222
00:08:32,979 --> 00:08:34,924
"Marinated artichoke hearts."
223
00:08:34,948 --> 00:08:37,927
You ever have a real
good artichoke-high, Alex?
224
00:08:37,951 --> 00:08:39,195
Cut it out, Uncle Ned.
225
00:08:39,219 --> 00:08:40,629
You... You really
don't need this.
226
00:08:40,653 --> 00:08:42,464
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
227
00:08:42,488 --> 00:08:44,700
Oh, oh, oh, oh. Here we go, now.
228
00:08:44,724 --> 00:08:47,236
It may not be Miller time,
229
00:08:47,260 --> 00:08:50,339
but it is vanilla time.
230
00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:52,644
Here's looking at you, kid.
231
00:08:54,834 --> 00:08:57,346
Ah.
232
00:08:57,370 --> 00:09:00,238
Now, remember,
don't drive and bake.
233
00:09:03,009 --> 00:09:04,387
I don't believe this.
234
00:09:04,411 --> 00:09:06,655
You just drank a whole
bottle of vanilla extract.
235
00:09:06,679 --> 00:09:09,079
I'm sorry, did you want some?
236
00:09:10,516 --> 00:09:11,493
No.
237
00:09:11,517 --> 00:09:12,929
No, I didn't.
238
00:09:12,953 --> 00:09:13,930
Well,
239
00:09:13,954 --> 00:09:14,931
come on, sit down.
240
00:09:14,955 --> 00:09:16,032
Maybe I can help you
241
00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:18,134
with this test of
yours tomorrow, huh?
242
00:09:18,158 --> 00:09:20,402
I am not totally unfamiliar
243
00:09:20,426 --> 00:09:23,539
with the area of
economics, you know.
244
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:25,897
Thanks, I think
I'll do all right.
245
00:09:27,934 --> 00:09:29,579
You, uh... Y-you don't think
246
00:09:29,603 --> 00:09:31,748
your Uncle Ned
has it anymore, huh?
247
00:09:31,772 --> 00:09:34,216
Y-you're ashamed
of your Uncle Ned.
248
00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:35,951
You think I might give you...
249
00:09:35,975 --> 00:09:37,119
the wrong answers.
250
00:09:37,143 --> 00:09:38,488
Well, let me tell you something.
251
00:09:38,512 --> 00:09:41,491
I spoke in front of
The World Bank!
252
00:09:41,515 --> 00:09:44,093
So why don't you just come
down from this high horse
253
00:09:44,117 --> 00:09:47,251
and ask your Uncle
Ned for some help, huh?
254
00:09:49,022 --> 00:09:50,433
What's the matter?
Don't you like
255
00:09:50,457 --> 00:09:52,624
your Uncle Ned anymore?
256
00:09:53,827 --> 00:09:56,706
I like him. I like him a lot.
257
00:09:56,730 --> 00:09:58,941
And yet you're too
good to sit down
258
00:09:58,965 --> 00:10:01,210
and have a glass of
maraschino cherries with him?
259
00:10:01,234 --> 00:10:02,645
Huh? Is that it?
260
00:10:02,669 --> 00:10:04,368
Come on, come on.
261
00:10:09,710 --> 00:10:11,550
I've just never seen
you drunk before.
262
00:10:15,148 --> 00:10:17,459
You think I'm drunk?
263
00:10:17,483 --> 00:10:20,396
You think I am drunk?
264
00:10:20,420 --> 00:10:23,900
Let me tell you
something, buddy:
265
00:10:23,924 --> 00:10:25,523
I'm drunk.
266
00:10:26,860 --> 00:10:28,259
Why shouldn't I be?
267
00:10:29,495 --> 00:10:30,807
I don't like to
see you like this.
268
00:10:30,831 --> 00:10:33,209
Oh, you.
269
00:10:33,233 --> 00:10:36,278
You are just like that
mother of yours, aren't you?
270
00:10:36,302 --> 00:10:38,681
You always think you
can tell me what to do.
271
00:10:38,705 --> 00:10:40,549
Uncle Ned, I'm not...
Let me tell you something!
272
00:10:40,573 --> 00:10:42,484
Ned Donnelly marches
to his own drum!
273
00:10:42,508 --> 00:10:44,520
So don't think you can
come in here and prop me up
274
00:10:44,544 --> 00:10:47,523
with some pious platitudes,
because you are wrong.
275
00:10:47,547 --> 00:10:51,327
Why don't you j...? Just
get out of here, huh?
276
00:10:51,351 --> 00:10:53,852
Beat it, you're beginning
to get on my nerves.
277
00:10:56,556 --> 00:10:58,735
Why don't you just come
upstairs, sleep it off?
278
00:10:58,759 --> 00:11:01,237
No, no, no. I'm, uh...
279
00:11:01,261 --> 00:11:03,505
I'm gonna go out. Uh...
280
00:11:03,529 --> 00:11:04,907
Uh, uh...
281
00:11:04,931 --> 00:11:06,175
Taxi!
282
00:11:06,199 --> 00:11:07,376
Pull yourself togeth...
283
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:10,368
Get out of here, punk!
Just get out of here!
284
00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:14,438
All right, I'll get out of here.
285
00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:20,378
More cherries for me.
286
00:11:33,659 --> 00:11:36,071
Hey! Good morning, Alex.
287
00:11:36,095 --> 00:11:38,074
You sleep all right?
288
00:11:38,098 --> 00:11:39,876
No. No, not so great.
289
00:11:39,900 --> 00:11:41,332
Oh, why not?
290
00:11:42,235 --> 00:11:44,213
What do you mean, why not?
291
00:11:44,237 --> 00:11:46,749
You know why I didn't
sleep well last night.
292
00:11:46,773 --> 00:11:48,951
Oh. Yeah, yeah.
293
00:11:48,975 --> 00:11:50,820
I had that same
problem as a teenager.
294
00:11:50,844 --> 00:11:52,454
Well, I don't know,
take a cold shower,
295
00:11:52,478 --> 00:11:53,978
think of Buddy Hackett.
296
00:11:57,350 --> 00:11:58,327
Morning, Alex.
297
00:11:58,351 --> 00:11:59,529
Oh, morning, Mom.
298
00:11:59,553 --> 00:12:01,163
Is Ned down yet?
299
00:12:01,187 --> 00:12:04,901
Uh, yeah. Yeah,
he was just here.
300
00:12:04,925 --> 00:12:07,436
Uh, listen, Mom. We
have a real problem here.
301
00:12:07,460 --> 00:12:08,760
Yeah, what's that?
302
00:12:09,628 --> 00:12:12,107
Well, it's Uncle Ned.
303
00:12:12,131 --> 00:12:13,943
You know, he's been
drinking a lot, Mom.
304
00:12:13,967 --> 00:12:17,046
Look, this is a very
difficult time for him, Alex.
305
00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:19,048
Just because he's drinking
a little more than usual
306
00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:20,649
doesn't mean he's a drunk.
307
00:12:20,673 --> 00:12:22,351
No, you gotta listen to me.
308
00:12:22,375 --> 00:12:23,852
If you had seen
him last night...
309
00:12:23,876 --> 00:12:25,954
Now, the main
thing is: just relax.
310
00:12:25,978 --> 00:12:27,590
Be yourself at
the interview, Ned.
311
00:12:27,614 --> 00:12:29,492
Wertz is tough, but he's fair.
312
00:12:29,516 --> 00:12:31,983
Tough but fair? I
like that in a woman.
313
00:12:33,954 --> 00:12:36,065
Uncle Ned, this is for
you, for your interview.
314
00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:37,299
Oh, grea...
315
00:12:37,323 --> 00:12:39,635
Oh, they're beautiful!
316
00:12:41,027 --> 00:12:42,004
One from each of us.
317
00:12:42,028 --> 00:12:43,005
Thank you, guys.
318
00:12:43,029 --> 00:12:44,006
Oh...
319
00:12:44,030 --> 00:12:45,407
I gotta go in early today.
320
00:12:45,431 --> 00:12:47,076
I'll drop you off, girls.
You coming, Alex?
321
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:48,711
Uh, no, thanks, Dad.
Pete's gonna be here
322
00:12:48,735 --> 00:12:50,646
and pick me up any minute. Okay.
323
00:12:50,670 --> 00:12:52,849
Eleven o'clock in my
office, Ned? See you there.
324
00:12:52,873 --> 00:12:54,717
Oh, I'll be there with socks on.
325
00:12:58,044 --> 00:13:00,089
Ned seems fine to me.
326
00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:01,824
Trust me, Mom.
327
00:13:01,848 --> 00:13:03,593
Uncle Ned has a drinking problem
328
00:13:03,617 --> 00:13:05,728
and you gotta do
something about it.
329
00:13:05,752 --> 00:13:08,330
Alex, don't you think
you're overdramatizing this?
330
00:13:08,354 --> 00:13:11,167
Why, in the name of all
that is pure and sacred
331
00:13:11,191 --> 00:13:12,434
in this great planet of ours,
332
00:13:12,458 --> 00:13:15,326
do you always accuse me
of overdramatizing things?
333
00:13:19,199 --> 00:13:22,211
All right, all right, but, uh...
334
00:13:22,235 --> 00:13:24,547
this time I'm not exaggerating.
335
00:13:24,571 --> 00:13:25,748
Look, Alex,
336
00:13:25,772 --> 00:13:28,150
I've known Ned a lot
longer than you have.
337
00:13:28,174 --> 00:13:29,819
He was always a
drinker in school,
338
00:13:29,843 --> 00:13:31,723
but he's been able to handle it.
339
00:13:35,682 --> 00:13:37,059
Mom...
340
00:13:37,083 --> 00:13:39,817
he drank a whole bottle
of vanilla extract last night.
341
00:13:42,555 --> 00:13:44,066
He was rummaging
through the pantry
342
00:13:44,090 --> 00:13:45,467
for anything with alcohol in it.
343
00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:49,204
There's my ride. I gotta go.
344
00:13:49,228 --> 00:13:51,673
Listen, uh...
345
00:13:51,697 --> 00:13:54,676
talk to him, will
you, please, Mom?
346
00:13:54,700 --> 00:13:56,400
Yeah...
347
00:13:59,605 --> 00:14:01,973
Well, hey. This
place cleared out fast.
348
00:14:03,109 --> 00:14:04,153
Are you feeling okay?
349
00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:06,088
Couldn't be better.
350
00:14:06,112 --> 00:14:07,957
Are you worried
about the interview?
351
00:14:07,981 --> 00:14:09,959
Oh, a little.
352
00:14:09,983 --> 00:14:11,626
I figure I'll do
all right, though.
353
00:14:13,619 --> 00:14:15,139
Keys.
354
00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:20,135
Well, where did you come from?
355
00:14:20,159 --> 00:14:22,037
Oh, yeah, I remember now.
356
00:14:22,061 --> 00:14:24,739
Yeah, nonstop from Chicago
to Phoenix last August.
357
00:14:24,763 --> 00:14:26,908
Well, it is good to see you.
358
00:14:26,932 --> 00:14:29,945
Oh, well, it's good
to see you too, Ned.
359
00:14:31,837 --> 00:14:33,682
What'd you put in
your orange juice, Ned?
360
00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:35,784
Uh, a little vodka.
361
00:14:35,808 --> 00:14:37,986
Ned, the... The interview's
in just a couple of hours.
362
00:14:38,010 --> 00:14:39,521
You could take it easy.
363
00:14:39,545 --> 00:14:41,089
Oh, Elyse, this is
just a little vodka,
364
00:14:41,113 --> 00:14:43,447
so I won't have any
orange juice on my breath.
365
00:14:45,986 --> 00:14:47,896
You've been drinking... heavily
366
00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:50,299
ever since you got here.
367
00:14:50,323 --> 00:14:51,834
Should I be worried about you?
368
00:14:51,858 --> 00:14:53,502
Oh, Elyse,
369
00:14:53,526 --> 00:14:55,171
this is your brother
Ned you're talking to,
370
00:14:55,195 --> 00:14:56,505
not some old drunk.
371
00:14:56,529 --> 00:14:57,873
I don't have any
problem with this.
372
00:14:57,897 --> 00:14:59,817
I can stop this
any time I want to.
373
00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:02,511
Then stop. Now.
374
00:15:03,936 --> 00:15:05,514
Is it really that
important to you?
375
00:15:05,538 --> 00:15:06,937
Yes.
376
00:15:09,442 --> 00:15:10,562
All right.
377
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:15,858
I'll stop.
378
00:15:15,882 --> 00:15:17,293
No big deal.
379
00:15:22,522 --> 00:15:23,522
Ah.
380
00:15:26,459 --> 00:15:29,805
Mr. Donnelly, this is a
very impressive résumé.
381
00:15:29,829 --> 00:15:32,141
Two years at Kelton Electronics?
382
00:15:32,165 --> 00:15:33,642
Yes, yes. It's a fine firm.
383
00:15:33,666 --> 00:15:35,177
They recruited me
right out of Harvard.
384
00:15:35,201 --> 00:15:36,212
Mm,
385
00:15:36,236 --> 00:15:37,980
and from there you
went to Centram.
386
00:15:38,004 --> 00:15:41,083
Eastern Regional Manager
and then Junior Vice President,
387
00:15:41,107 --> 00:15:42,318
that's right.
388
00:15:42,342 --> 00:15:45,087
Uh, Steven told me
about... your difficulties there.
389
00:15:45,111 --> 00:15:47,189
Perhaps you'd like
to expand upon that.
390
00:15:47,213 --> 00:15:49,492
Well, uh, Mr. Wertz,
391
00:15:49,516 --> 00:15:52,561
I could tell you what
happened to me at Centram,
392
00:15:52,585 --> 00:15:55,864
but I think I could
say it best with music.
393
00:15:55,888 --> 00:15:58,967
And one, two, one,
two, three, and...
394
00:16:03,797 --> 00:16:05,274
Hello?
395
00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:06,875
Uh... Uh, just a second.
396
00:16:06,899 --> 00:16:09,011
Uh, M-Mr. Wertz, it's for you.
397
00:16:09,035 --> 00:16:10,212
Oh, thank you.
398
00:16:12,939 --> 00:16:14,817
Hello? Ned, Ned, uh...
399
00:16:14,841 --> 00:16:16,285
what's, uh...? What's...?
400
00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:17,886
What's gotten into
you? What's going on?
401
00:16:17,910 --> 00:16:20,122
Oh, nothing. I'm just
a little nervous is all.
402
00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:22,991
I thought the clarinet
would sort of break the ice.
403
00:16:23,015 --> 00:16:26,061
I... I-I would have gone with
a handshake and a smile.
404
00:16:26,085 --> 00:16:27,463
Well, it's...
405
00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:28,931
It's too late now.
406
00:16:28,955 --> 00:16:32,368
Um, uh, uh, look, uh,
just, uh, try to relax.
407
00:16:32,392 --> 00:16:33,669
Be yourself.
408
00:16:33,693 --> 00:16:35,137
Be myself.
409
00:16:35,161 --> 00:16:37,606
That is just crazy
enough to work, Steven.
410
00:16:37,630 --> 00:16:38,607
N-Ned.
411
00:16:38,631 --> 00:16:40,609
Sorry about that interruption.
412
00:16:40,633 --> 00:16:42,278
Oh, uh, no, uh,
n-no problem at all.
413
00:16:42,302 --> 00:16:43,879
Uh, Ned and I were just, u-um...
414
00:16:43,903 --> 00:16:45,147
stretching our legs.
415
00:16:45,171 --> 00:16:47,549
Well, actually, Steven
was stretching my legs,
416
00:16:47,573 --> 00:16:49,184
and I was stretching his legs.
417
00:16:51,778 --> 00:16:54,556
Jokes are out. Gotcha.
418
00:16:54,580 --> 00:16:55,590
Please, sit down.
419
00:16:55,614 --> 00:16:56,859
Thanks. Right, uh...
420
00:16:56,883 --> 00:16:58,827
Now, Mr...
421
00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:00,195
Oh! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Oh!
422
00:17:00,219 --> 00:17:02,131
I'm sorry. That... That
was me. It's all right.
423
00:17:02,155 --> 00:17:05,968
Okay, so, well, uh, Keaton...
424
00:17:05,992 --> 00:17:08,336
tell us a little bit
about yourself, huh?
425
00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:10,405
Ned, what are you doing?
You should be here with me.
426
00:17:10,429 --> 00:17:11,807
Why don't you come
over here with us?
427
00:17:11,831 --> 00:17:12,908
Now, move over, Wertz,
428
00:17:12,932 --> 00:17:14,242
make room for
Steve in here. Ned.
429
00:17:14,266 --> 00:17:15,744
Ned, get over here.
430
00:17:15,768 --> 00:17:16,879
Oh, all right.
431
00:17:16,903 --> 00:17:18,080
Come on, Wertz.
432
00:17:18,104 --> 00:17:19,514
Ned! I'm sorry,
he is so adorable
433
00:17:19,538 --> 00:17:20,649
when he's angry.
434
00:17:20,673 --> 00:17:22,017
Uh, all right!
435
00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:23,752
Let's quit goofing around!
436
00:17:23,776 --> 00:17:26,221
Wertz, grow up,
for crying out loud.
437
00:17:26,245 --> 00:17:28,724
Take this thing seriously.
438
00:17:28,748 --> 00:17:31,126
Haven't you forgotten something?
439
00:17:31,150 --> 00:17:32,161
What?
440
00:17:32,185 --> 00:17:33,328
Socks.
441
00:17:33,352 --> 00:17:35,285
No, no, no. I got
mine right here.
442
00:17:36,589 --> 00:17:37,566
You wanna try 'em on?
443
00:17:37,590 --> 00:17:39,034
Go... Oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh!
444
00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:40,468
I'm sorry, it's... That was me.
445
00:17:40,492 --> 00:17:42,773
That was me. I'll
get 'em, don't worry.
446
00:17:45,198 --> 00:17:47,810
Mr. Wertz, I'm very
sorry about this.
447
00:17:47,834 --> 00:17:49,011
Hey, Wertz,
448
00:17:49,035 --> 00:17:51,413
you're not wearing
any socks either.
449
00:17:51,437 --> 00:17:53,916
I most certainly am.
450
00:17:53,940 --> 00:17:56,351
Well, then whose feet are these?
451
00:17:56,375 --> 00:17:58,087
Ned, please! Get up now.
452
00:17:58,111 --> 00:18:00,351
All right, all right.
453
00:18:04,450 --> 00:18:05,527
Mr. Donnelly,
454
00:18:05,551 --> 00:18:07,785
I think this interview is over.
455
00:18:08,587 --> 00:18:09,564
Well, Wertz,
456
00:18:09,588 --> 00:18:11,767
I think you did a fine job...
457
00:18:11,791 --> 00:18:15,303
and I will let you
know in a few days.
458
00:18:15,327 --> 00:18:16,627
Boys. Ah.
459
00:18:24,303 --> 00:18:25,447
Where's Ned?
460
00:18:25,471 --> 00:18:26,514
Ah... What's the matter?
461
00:18:26,538 --> 00:18:28,550
What happened at the interview?
462
00:18:28,574 --> 00:18:30,518
Elyse, he showed up drunk...
463
00:18:30,542 --> 00:18:32,554
without socks.
464
00:18:32,578 --> 00:18:35,323
He made a fool of himself,
of me, and of Mr. Wertz.
465
00:18:35,347 --> 00:18:36,925
No.
466
00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:38,660
He promised me
he wouldn't drink.
467
00:18:38,684 --> 00:18:40,462
How much more evidence
do you need, Mom?
468
00:18:40,486 --> 00:18:42,030
Now, let me tell
you, what I saw today
469
00:18:42,054 --> 00:18:44,633
was much more than a man
who had a few too many drinks.
470
00:18:44,657 --> 00:18:45,700
What I saw was, uh,
471
00:18:45,724 --> 00:18:48,292
a-a sick,
self-destructive individual.
472
00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:50,538
What are we gonna do?
473
00:18:50,562 --> 00:18:52,141
He obviously needs
help. I don't know,
474
00:18:52,165 --> 00:18:54,576
maybe he should call
Alcoholics Anonymous.
475
00:18:55,734 --> 00:18:58,546
Hey! Hi-ho, Stev-a-rino.
476
00:18:58,570 --> 00:19:00,715
I guess I'm starting
on Monday, huh?
477
00:19:00,739 --> 00:19:01,950
You wanna car-pool?
478
00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:03,152
Hey, Alex. Alex,
479
00:19:03,176 --> 00:19:04,519
open that up and
get some glasses,
480
00:19:04,543 --> 00:19:06,054
'cause we're gonna
have ourselves
481
00:19:06,078 --> 00:19:08,290
a little celebration, huh?
482
00:19:08,314 --> 00:19:10,725
That was quite an
exhibition you put on today.
483
00:19:10,749 --> 00:19:13,128
Yeah, well, I aim to please.
484
00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:14,462
You said you wouldn't drink.
485
00:19:14,486 --> 00:19:15,898
I haven't been drinking, Elyse,
486
00:19:15,922 --> 00:19:17,432
I just had a couple
of beers, that's all.
487
00:19:17,456 --> 00:19:18,967
I ran into an old
friend of mine,
488
00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:20,735
Mike... Uh, Mike Griffin,
489
00:19:20,759 --> 00:19:22,237
and he insisted I
have a drink with him.
490
00:19:22,261 --> 00:19:24,006
Now, I couldn't turn
him down, could I?
491
00:19:24,030 --> 00:19:25,274
Ned! All right, all right.
492
00:19:25,298 --> 00:19:26,608
All right, all right, all right.
493
00:19:26,632 --> 00:19:28,576
I didn't meet Mike Griffin.
494
00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:30,245
I met Merv Griffin,
495
00:19:30,269 --> 00:19:32,080
and he insisted that I
had a drink with him.
496
00:19:32,104 --> 00:19:34,950
Now, what could I do?
You don't say no to Merv.
497
00:19:34,974 --> 00:19:36,118
Would you stop lying, Ned?
498
00:19:36,142 --> 00:19:38,642
Not now, I'm on a roll.
499
00:19:39,378 --> 00:19:40,689
Listen to yourself.
500
00:19:40,713 --> 00:19:42,757
Let me try that. "Not
now, I'm on a roll."
501
00:19:42,781 --> 00:19:43,892
I sound fine to me.
502
00:19:45,417 --> 00:19:48,363
This interview could have been
a new start for you, Uncle Ned.
503
00:19:48,387 --> 00:19:50,132
Dad went out of
his way to set it up.
504
00:19:50,156 --> 00:19:52,676
You didn't even
give it a chance.
505
00:19:52,925 --> 00:19:54,636
Alex, what difference
does it make?
506
00:19:54,660 --> 00:19:57,206
Wertz was never
gonna give me that job.
507
00:19:57,230 --> 00:19:58,606
I never had a chance.
508
00:19:58,630 --> 00:20:01,210
That is not true. You
had a very good chance.
509
00:20:01,234 --> 00:20:02,711
But you were afraid
to face it head-on.
510
00:20:02,735 --> 00:20:05,013
You made damn sure
you turned Wertz down,
511
00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:06,481
before he could turn you down.
512
00:20:06,505 --> 00:20:08,550
Well, what difference
does it make, huh?
513
00:20:08,574 --> 00:20:10,986
You Keatons are always
gonna be around to...
514
00:20:11,010 --> 00:20:12,988
hold the family banner high.
515
00:20:13,012 --> 00:20:14,823
Alex here will probably
be running the country
516
00:20:14,847 --> 00:20:16,358
before he's even 35 years old.
517
00:20:16,382 --> 00:20:17,692
Now, what difference
does it make
518
00:20:17,716 --> 00:20:19,895
if old Ned falls by
the wayside, huh?
519
00:20:19,919 --> 00:20:22,297
That's the most pathetic
speech I've ever heard.
520
00:20:22,321 --> 00:20:24,099
Oh, no, no, no. The
most pathetic one
521
00:20:24,123 --> 00:20:25,934
is coming up now.
522
00:20:25,958 --> 00:20:28,404
You guys have any
idea what it's like...
523
00:20:28,428 --> 00:20:31,640
to be washed up before
you're even 30 years old? Huh?
524
00:20:31,664 --> 00:20:35,310
Olga Korbut, the
Mouseketeers, Ned Donnelly.
525
00:20:35,334 --> 00:20:38,046
We're all has-beens.
526
00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:40,582
Okay, you can go ahead
and you can act like a kid.
527
00:20:40,606 --> 00:20:41,917
But you have an adult's problem
528
00:20:41,941 --> 00:20:43,485
and it's not gonna
go away by itself.
529
00:20:43,509 --> 00:20:46,121
I... You have a
drinking problem, Ned.
530
00:20:46,145 --> 00:20:48,557
You need help. I do not
have a drinking problem
531
00:20:48,581 --> 00:20:50,092
and I do not need any help.
532
00:20:50,116 --> 00:20:52,061
Yes, you do! Admit it!
533
00:20:52,085 --> 00:20:54,896
I-I think you should call
Alcoholics Anonymous.
534
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:56,731
You gotta be kidding, Elyse.
535
00:20:56,755 --> 00:20:59,468
You actually think
that I'm an alcoholic?
536
00:20:59,492 --> 00:21:01,537
Ned... you're sick.
537
00:21:01,561 --> 00:21:02,871
You have a disease.
538
00:21:02,895 --> 00:21:04,373
If you don't do
something about it,
539
00:21:04,397 --> 00:21:06,063
it's going to kill you.
540
00:21:08,767 --> 00:21:10,845
I don't care.
541
00:21:10,869 --> 00:21:12,881
It's over for me.
542
00:21:12,905 --> 00:21:15,584
It is not over for
you, Uncle Ned.
543
00:21:15,608 --> 00:21:16,985
You were at the top once.
544
00:21:17,009 --> 00:21:19,888
You c... You can make
it back up there again.
545
00:21:19,912 --> 00:21:22,413
You, uh, remember
these clippings?
546
00:21:24,750 --> 00:21:27,162
Young Executive
of the Year, 1980.
547
00:21:27,186 --> 00:21:29,353
Uh, your speech
before The World Bank.
548
00:21:30,923 --> 00:21:33,290
When you made Junior
Vice President at 28.
549
00:21:34,527 --> 00:21:37,473
Alex, what are you
doing with this stuff?
550
00:21:37,497 --> 00:21:39,308
Whenever I think I
can't achieve something,
551
00:21:39,332 --> 00:21:41,810
I look at those.
552
00:21:41,834 --> 00:21:44,379
Yeah, well, Alex...
553
00:21:44,403 --> 00:21:46,615
these are ancient history.
554
00:21:46,639 --> 00:21:49,151
They're garbage.
555
00:21:49,175 --> 00:21:51,220
Hey, Uncle Ned, don't do that.
556
00:21:51,244 --> 00:21:53,155
Hey, give me those.
Oh, leave me alone.
557
00:21:53,179 --> 00:21:54,789
Give me those. Leave me alone!
558
00:21:54,813 --> 00:21:56,425
Oh! What the hell
are you doing?!
559
00:21:56,449 --> 00:21:57,426
Steven.
560
00:21:57,450 --> 00:22:00,262
I don't know.
561
00:22:00,286 --> 00:22:02,531
I don't know. I'm sorry.
562
00:22:02,555 --> 00:22:04,288
Sorry, Alex.
563
00:22:10,296 --> 00:22:11,629
All right, Ned.
564
00:22:13,633 --> 00:22:16,267
That's it. It's over.
565
00:22:18,671 --> 00:22:20,215
Right now,
566
00:22:20,239 --> 00:22:22,851
either you get some help...
567
00:22:22,875 --> 00:22:25,254
or you get the hell
out of my house.
568
00:22:25,278 --> 00:22:27,911
How could I do that?
569
00:22:29,848 --> 00:22:31,815
I hit Alex.
570
00:22:33,553 --> 00:22:35,018
How could I do that?
571
00:22:37,456 --> 00:22:39,089
Now would you call AA?
572
00:22:59,078 --> 00:23:00,955
I guess I could look upon this
573
00:23:00,979 --> 00:23:02,057
as a way of meeting women
574
00:23:02,081 --> 00:23:04,793
that share a common
interest with me.
575
00:23:11,557 --> 00:23:13,034
Ahem. Hi. Yes.
576
00:23:13,058 --> 00:23:14,603
Um...
577
00:23:14,627 --> 00:23:16,405
would you be
interested in subscribing
578
00:23:16,429 --> 00:23:18,039
to The Columbus Express?
579
00:23:23,269 --> 00:23:26,315
No, no, uh...
580
00:23:26,339 --> 00:23:28,183
Uh, my name is Ned Donnelly,
581
00:23:28,207 --> 00:23:31,542
and I have a drinking problem.
38074
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