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1
00:00:01,868 --> 00:00:03,480
Okay. This should do it.
2
00:00:03,504 --> 00:00:05,582
Ungh! You guys are only
going for the weekend.
3
00:00:05,606 --> 00:00:08,184
Napoleon took fewer bags
when he invaded Russia.
4
00:00:08,208 --> 00:00:10,253
Well, we know what
happened to him, don't we?
5
00:00:10,277 --> 00:00:11,922
Are you meeting the
Davises up there again?
6
00:00:11,946 --> 00:00:13,256
Yeah. Why is it every time
7
00:00:13,280 --> 00:00:15,125
you go up to the
lake it's with them?
8
00:00:15,149 --> 00:00:17,227
Well, it... It's tradition.
We met Ron and Suzanne
9
00:00:17,251 --> 00:00:18,594
when we were all
on our honeymoons,
10
00:00:18,618 --> 00:00:20,196
and it's just nice to
see 'em every year.
11
00:00:20,220 --> 00:00:22,398
It's kinda like an old-timers'
baseball game, you know.
12
00:00:22,422 --> 00:00:23,900
You don't really
remember how to play,
13
00:00:23,924 --> 00:00:25,969
but you go through the motions.
14
00:00:25,993 --> 00:00:27,604
All right, I think
we're all set.
15
00:00:27,628 --> 00:00:29,339
Four rackets?
16
00:00:29,363 --> 00:00:31,908
Well, uh, I don't have any
idea what Ron is bringing.
17
00:00:31,932 --> 00:00:33,843
I have to be ready for
him. Yeah, wait a minute.
18
00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:36,513
You're not gonna get into that
competition thing. You promised.
19
00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:39,081
Of course not. We
worked that out years ago.
20
00:00:39,105 --> 00:00:42,485
Now it's just friendly...
survival of the fittest.
21
00:00:42,509 --> 00:00:45,155
If you guys don't get going,
you'll get stuck in traffic.
22
00:00:45,179 --> 00:00:46,222
We're going. We're going.
23
00:00:46,246 --> 00:00:47,657
Do you have the
hotel phone number?
24
00:00:47,681 --> 00:00:48,892
You wrote it down in every room,
25
00:00:48,916 --> 00:00:50,894
along with numbers
for police, fire,
26
00:00:50,918 --> 00:00:52,929
doctor, every neighbor
in a six-mile radius
27
00:00:52,953 --> 00:00:53,929
and our congressman.
28
00:00:53,953 --> 00:00:56,066
Sounds good. Ready to go, Elyse?
29
00:00:56,090 --> 00:00:58,268
Yeah, I guess so. As ready
as I'm gonna be, anyway.
30
00:00:58,292 --> 00:01:00,303
Hold down the
excitement level, dear.
31
00:01:00,327 --> 00:01:03,073
You don't wanna peak too early.
32
00:01:03,097 --> 00:01:04,574
I-I got to admit
I'm kind of nervous
33
00:01:04,598 --> 00:01:06,242
about leaving the kids alone.
34
00:01:06,266 --> 00:01:08,544
What's the matter? Do
you think we're babies?
35
00:01:08,568 --> 00:01:09,913
No, no, it's just
we've never left
36
00:01:09,937 --> 00:01:11,815
the three of you alone before.
37
00:01:11,839 --> 00:01:14,050
Mom, don't worry about a
thing. We're gonna be fine.
38
00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:16,052
Remember, I'll be in charge.
39
00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:18,354
Wait a minute.
40
00:01:18,378 --> 00:01:20,624
I thought we were all in charge.
41
00:01:20,648 --> 00:01:25,929
Isn't each of us responsible
for his or her own life?
42
00:01:25,953 --> 00:01:29,899
Uh, uh, Jennifer, I
appreciate existentialism,
43
00:01:29,923 --> 00:01:31,234
even in a nine-year-old.
44
00:01:31,258 --> 00:01:34,337
But since Alex is the
oldest, he's in charge.
45
00:01:34,361 --> 00:01:36,881
Why don't we go
by height instead?
46
00:01:37,864 --> 00:01:39,675
Why don't we go
by life expectancy?
47
00:01:39,699 --> 00:01:40,776
Alex.
48
00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:42,578
Why don't you
knock it off? Look,
49
00:01:42,602 --> 00:01:44,614
maybe it's not fair to
leave Alex in charge.
50
00:01:44,638 --> 00:01:46,282
Maybe we shouldn't go.
51
00:01:46,306 --> 00:01:48,985
No, of course you should go.
52
00:01:49,009 --> 00:01:50,954
You two deserve
this time together.
53
00:01:50,978 --> 00:01:52,989
And, you know something?
The more I think of it
54
00:01:53,013 --> 00:01:55,058
the more I begin
to realize that Alex
55
00:01:55,082 --> 00:01:56,793
is an excellent
choice to be in charge.
56
00:01:56,817 --> 00:01:58,995
Thank you both
for suggesting it.
57
00:01:59,019 --> 00:02:01,853
You don't have to lay it on
so thick, Mallory. We're going.
58
00:02:02,990 --> 00:02:04,434
Take care. Call if
you need anything.
59
00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:06,469
Okay, don't worry about a
thing. We're gonna be fine.
60
00:02:06,493 --> 00:02:08,004
Bye! I love you.
61
00:02:08,028 --> 00:02:09,305
We'll all turn in early tonight.
62
00:02:09,329 --> 00:02:11,274
I'll probably read
the kids a book first,
63
00:02:11,298 --> 00:02:12,775
then maybe make
'em some hot chocolate
64
00:02:12,799 --> 00:02:15,378
if it won't get 'em too excited.
65
00:02:16,703 --> 00:02:19,249
It's party time.
66
00:02:30,417 --> 00:02:32,262
♪ I'll bet We've been together ♪
67
00:02:32,286 --> 00:02:35,365
♪ For a million years ♪
68
00:02:35,389 --> 00:02:37,767
♪ And I'll bet
We'll be together ♪
69
00:02:37,791 --> 00:02:41,003
♪ For a million more ♪
70
00:02:41,027 --> 00:02:43,773
♪ Ooh, it's like I
started breathin' ♪
71
00:02:43,797 --> 00:02:46,776
♪ On the night we kissed ♪
72
00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:52,448
♪ Well, I can't remember
What I ever did before ♪
73
00:02:52,472 --> 00:02:54,884
♪ What would we do, baby ♪
74
00:02:54,908 --> 00:02:56,808
♪ Without us? ♪
75
00:02:58,145 --> 00:03:00,790
♪ What would we do, baby ♪
76
00:03:00,814 --> 00:03:03,826
♪ Without us? ♪
77
00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:05,695
♪ And there ain't No nothin' ♪
78
00:03:05,719 --> 00:03:09,466
♪ We can't love
Each other through ♪
79
00:03:09,490 --> 00:03:12,235
♪ What would we do, baby ♪
80
00:03:12,259 --> 00:03:15,037
♪ Without us? ♪
81
00:03:15,061 --> 00:03:17,762
♪ Sha-la-la-lahhh ♪
82
00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:24,547
Jennifer. What are you doing?
Jennifer, what are you doing?
83
00:03:24,571 --> 00:03:26,516
I'll bet Mommy and
Daddy are taking pictures
84
00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:28,284
of their trip to show us.
85
00:03:28,308 --> 00:03:30,687
I wanna show them how
we spent our weekend.
86
00:03:30,711 --> 00:03:33,656
Uhhh, Jennifer,
that's not a good idea.
87
00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:36,359
Um, you see, uh, these
two kids are involved
88
00:03:36,383 --> 00:03:37,594
in something very delicate.
89
00:03:37,618 --> 00:03:38,828
She's got something in her eye,
90
00:03:38,852 --> 00:03:41,092
and he's trying to take it out.
91
00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:44,716
Is that what you really
think they're doing, Alex?
92
00:03:46,527 --> 00:03:47,637
Yeah.
93
00:03:47,661 --> 00:03:51,362
I think we'd better
have a little talk.
94
00:03:57,271 --> 00:03:59,682
How you doin',
Keaton, nice party.
95
00:03:59,706 --> 00:04:00,839
Hi, Eric.
96
00:04:02,776 --> 00:04:04,754
Alex. Alex. I've
got to talk to you.
97
00:04:04,778 --> 00:04:07,156
Why, what is it? Don't
look over my shoulder.
98
00:04:07,180 --> 00:04:09,025
I told you not to look.
99
00:04:09,049 --> 00:04:11,127
Cut it out. You're
gonna give me whiplash.
100
00:04:11,151 --> 00:04:13,563
The boy over my left
shoulder, is that who I think it is?
101
00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:15,431
I don't know. I'm
not allowed to look.
102
00:04:15,455 --> 00:04:17,815
Okay, you can look. But
don't be obvious about it.
103
00:04:24,965 --> 00:04:28,645
Now, is that Eric
Morrison? Yeah, that's him.
104
00:04:28,669 --> 00:04:30,747
You know Eric Morrison
and you didn't even tell me?
105
00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:32,916
Will you cut it out? I'm
gonna end up in the hospital.
106
00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:34,784
Introduce me to him.
107
00:04:34,808 --> 00:04:36,819
I don't wanna bother him. Alex,
108
00:04:36,843 --> 00:04:38,355
he's captain of
eight varsity teams.
109
00:04:38,379 --> 00:04:41,157
He's really cool. All the
girls' parents hate him.
110
00:04:41,181 --> 00:04:44,294
That is a good recommendation.
111
00:04:44,318 --> 00:04:45,461
Yeah, all right, maybe later.
112
00:04:45,485 --> 00:04:47,597
He's coming over here now.
113
00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:49,265
Hi, Eric. How are
you doing, Keaton?
114
00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:50,489
Nice party.
115
00:04:52,158 --> 00:04:53,936
Well, what have we here?
116
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:56,772
Oh, this is nobody,
just my kid sister.
117
00:04:56,796 --> 00:04:58,441
Ah, Mallory Keaton,
I'd like you to meet...
118
00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:01,210
I know who it is. You're
Eric Morrison, aren't you?
119
00:05:01,234 --> 00:05:04,080
Yeah. Kinda lucky
for me, isn't it?
120
00:05:06,706 --> 00:05:07,884
Hello.
121
00:05:07,908 --> 00:05:10,208
That goes double for me.
122
00:05:14,681 --> 00:05:16,926
Well, I was gonna get
myself something cold to drink.
123
00:05:16,950 --> 00:05:18,928
Can I get you
something? I'd like a soda.
124
00:05:18,952 --> 00:05:20,797
Not you.
125
00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:23,599
This is amazing. I mean,
this is really kinda scary.
126
00:05:23,623 --> 00:05:27,670
I was just thinking about
a nice, cold drink. Ha!
127
00:05:27,694 --> 00:05:30,595
We must be on the
same psychic wavelength.
128
00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:34,210
Must be.
129
00:05:34,234 --> 00:05:35,634
Hmmm.
130
00:05:41,474 --> 00:05:43,953
Hello, Eric. Hi, kid.
131
00:05:43,977 --> 00:05:46,322
Hi, Albert. Alex.
132
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:47,713
Whatever.
133
00:05:49,816 --> 00:05:52,162
Yeah, this is really a
terrific party, Keaton.
134
00:05:52,186 --> 00:05:53,696
You're a wonderful host, really.
135
00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:55,698
Thanks, I'm glad
you're enjoying yourself.
136
00:05:55,722 --> 00:05:58,868
Oh, yeah. The way I see it,
my biggest problem right now
137
00:05:58,892 --> 00:06:00,770
is trying to decide
which one of these girls
138
00:06:00,794 --> 00:06:02,805
to take for a ride
in my new car.
139
00:06:02,829 --> 00:06:04,774
Well, anything I can do to help.
140
00:06:04,798 --> 00:06:07,677
If you want me to screen
a few of them for you, or...
141
00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:09,879
I think I can handle
it. But just remember,
142
00:06:09,903 --> 00:06:13,116
when you hear that horn go...
143
00:06:13,140 --> 00:06:14,572
I'm on the prowl.
144
00:06:18,445 --> 00:06:20,056
Well, here we go.
145
00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:23,292
Yours is in the kitchen, Alex.
146
00:06:23,316 --> 00:06:26,117
She knows I like to drink
my soda in the kitchen.
147
00:06:29,722 --> 00:06:31,434
So...
148
00:06:31,458 --> 00:06:32,769
come here often?
149
00:06:36,563 --> 00:06:39,141
Do you think the kids miss
us as much as we miss them?
150
00:06:39,165 --> 00:06:40,532
You want the truth?
151
00:06:41,468 --> 00:06:42,645
Not necessarily.
152
00:06:42,669 --> 00:06:44,647
Well, then I think
they miss us terribly.
153
00:06:44,671 --> 00:06:45,782
Thank you.
154
00:06:45,806 --> 00:06:48,151
I am so glad that we're up here.
155
00:06:48,175 --> 00:06:50,620
Me, too. I've got great
things planned, Elyse.
156
00:06:50,644 --> 00:06:52,454
So do I. I thought we'd start
157
00:06:52,478 --> 00:06:54,557
with a short jog for distance.
158
00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:58,227
Then, uh, swimming, doubles
tetherball and Ping-Pong.
159
00:06:58,251 --> 00:07:00,696
That should get us warmed
up for the volleyball tournament.
160
00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:03,332
We're on vacation, not
training for the Olympics.
161
00:07:03,356 --> 00:07:06,235
You're right. You're
right. We'll skip the javelin.
162
00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:07,737
I'm... I'm getting worried.
163
00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:10,139
Ron isn't even here yet and
already you're competing.
164
00:07:10,163 --> 00:07:12,408
I'm not. I'm not.
Well, you'll see.
165
00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:14,477
It's not like you're here
with a couple of kids.
166
00:07:14,501 --> 00:07:16,846
We're two mature adults.
167
00:07:16,870 --> 00:07:19,015
Well, forgive me for being
concerned but if I recall,
168
00:07:19,039 --> 00:07:21,450
your last words to Ron
were "I'm taller than you are,
169
00:07:21,474 --> 00:07:24,375
nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah."
170
00:07:25,545 --> 00:07:27,523
Well, I am.
171
00:07:27,547 --> 00:07:29,058
Ah, I'm just kidding.
We... We can have
172
00:07:29,082 --> 00:07:31,494
a great time without
the competition.
173
00:07:31,518 --> 00:07:32,995
I love their company. So do I.
174
00:07:33,019 --> 00:07:34,397
Oh, I wish they'd get here.
175
00:07:34,421 --> 00:07:36,165
Yeah, we really beat
'em here, didn't we?
176
00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:37,467
Steven.
177
00:07:37,491 --> 00:07:39,068
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
178
00:07:39,092 --> 00:07:40,570
I'll get this stuff put away.
179
00:07:40,594 --> 00:07:42,705
Uh, not that way, Elyse.
180
00:07:42,729 --> 00:07:44,740
I moved our stuff into
the other bedroom.
181
00:07:44,764 --> 00:07:46,275
Why? Why?
182
00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:51,180
Because that room is 18-by-24
and our room is 18-by-26.
183
00:07:51,204 --> 00:07:53,883
Steven, no one in the
world could tell the difference
184
00:07:53,907 --> 00:07:55,919
between those two rooms.
185
00:07:55,943 --> 00:07:57,353
Hey, hey. STEVEN: Hey.
186
00:07:57,377 --> 00:07:59,788
What do you say,
bear? How you doin'?
187
00:07:59,812 --> 00:08:01,324
Lobo. Hi, Ron.
188
00:08:01,348 --> 00:08:02,959
How are you? How are you?
189
00:08:02,983 --> 00:08:05,228
Oh, I'm sorry we're late.
190
00:08:05,252 --> 00:08:07,096
Mr. Shortcut thought
the paved roads
191
00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:08,987
might slow us down.
192
00:08:10,390 --> 00:08:13,769
Just wanted to try out the
four-wheel drive vehicle.
193
00:08:13,793 --> 00:08:17,061
You don't have a four-wheel
drive vehicle, do you, Steven?
194
00:08:18,232 --> 00:08:20,743
I'm sure he will by sundown.
195
00:08:20,767 --> 00:08:22,778
Come on, come on in.
Make yourselves at home.
196
00:08:22,802 --> 00:08:24,113
First event, here we go.
197
00:08:24,137 --> 00:08:28,050
Ah, ah, not... Not... Not...
That... That one, R-Ron. Um...
198
00:08:28,074 --> 00:08:32,054
You... Heh. You've got the
other bedroom. Heh-heh!
199
00:08:32,078 --> 00:08:33,956
Sorry.
200
00:08:33,980 --> 00:08:37,392
You know, Elyse, I
had a long talk with Ron
201
00:08:37,416 --> 00:08:38,794
on the way up here.
202
00:08:38,818 --> 00:08:42,097
Lord knows we
had the time for it.
203
00:08:42,121 --> 00:08:45,256
I think the competition thing
will no longer be an issue.
204
00:08:47,127 --> 00:08:49,647
Took the big room,
didn't you, Keaton?
205
00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:55,111
Hey. Hey. Hey.
206
00:08:55,135 --> 00:08:58,114
I like fun as much
as the next guy,
207
00:08:58,138 --> 00:09:00,516
but these lights must
remain on. House rules.
208
00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:05,388
Hey, there's no reason we
all can't have good clean fun
209
00:09:05,412 --> 00:09:07,190
with the lights on, okay?
210
00:09:07,214 --> 00:09:11,528
I'll bet we could have more
fun with the lights off, Albert.
211
00:09:11,552 --> 00:09:12,784
Alex.
212
00:09:14,620 --> 00:09:17,221
Oh, what the hell,
there is an energy crisis.
213
00:09:20,594 --> 00:09:21,871
Hello.
214
00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:23,405
Dad.
215
00:09:23,429 --> 00:09:26,731
Yeah, yeah, it's me,
Albert... Alex. Whatever.
216
00:09:28,001 --> 00:09:30,012
Noise? Um, no, I don't, I...
217
00:09:30,036 --> 00:09:31,480
Oh, oh, that's the TV.
218
00:09:31,504 --> 00:09:34,751
There's a commercial
for firecrackers.
219
00:09:34,775 --> 00:09:36,586
You... You wanna
talk to Jennifer.
220
00:09:36,610 --> 00:09:39,789
Just a minute.
Jennifer. Jennifer.
221
00:09:39,813 --> 00:09:41,557
It's Mom and Dad.
Now, you can talk
222
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:43,326
but don't let 'em know
what's going on here.
223
00:09:43,350 --> 00:09:45,783
Don't worry. I'm no fink.
224
00:09:47,287 --> 00:09:49,498
Hello. I'm fine, Daddy.
225
00:09:49,522 --> 00:09:51,233
Hi, Mom.
226
00:09:51,257 --> 00:09:52,635
Uh, nothing much.
227
00:09:52,659 --> 00:09:55,104
I was just taking pictures
with my new camera.
228
00:09:56,663 --> 00:09:59,775
Nature stuff.
Birds and the bees.
229
00:09:59,799 --> 00:10:01,610
Uh, well, you two
must be in a hurry
230
00:10:01,634 --> 00:10:04,280
so I'll just let you go.
231
00:10:04,304 --> 00:10:06,882
Uh, Mallory? J-just a minute.
232
00:10:06,906 --> 00:10:08,918
Jennifer, where's
Mallory. She left.
233
00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:10,853
She left? She
couldn't have left.
234
00:10:10,877 --> 00:10:13,089
She did, with some guy.
235
00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:14,357
What guy?
236
00:10:14,381 --> 00:10:15,658
Your friend.
237
00:10:15,682 --> 00:10:19,450
The guy with the bedroom eyes.
238
00:10:22,689 --> 00:10:24,233
Why didn't you stop 'em?
239
00:10:24,257 --> 00:10:26,235
They're too fast for me, pal.
240
00:10:26,259 --> 00:10:30,272
Uh, Mallory can't come
to the phone right now.
241
00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:31,941
No. She's, uh...
242
00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:34,376
insulating the attic.
243
00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:36,278
Yeah, yeah. It's a surprise
for when you get home.
244
00:10:36,302 --> 00:10:38,181
You'll love it.
245
00:10:38,205 --> 00:10:40,082
Okay, I will.
246
00:10:40,106 --> 00:10:41,517
All right. Bye-bye.
247
00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:59,035
Alex. Will you stop pacing?
You're making me nervous.
248
00:10:59,059 --> 00:11:01,793
When you have kids
you'll understand.
249
00:11:03,563 --> 00:11:05,341
Why are you so upset?
250
00:11:05,365 --> 00:11:06,809
She's with your friend.
251
00:11:06,833 --> 00:11:09,211
That's why I'm so upset.
252
00:11:09,235 --> 00:11:10,869
You mean he's not a nice boy?
253
00:11:11,771 --> 00:11:13,449
Well, let's just say,
254
00:11:13,473 --> 00:11:15,652
he might not be a
gentleman with Mallory.
255
00:11:15,676 --> 00:11:18,910
You mean if he burps,
he won't say "Excuse me"?
256
00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:24,126
Right. Right. That's
exactly what I mean.
257
00:11:24,150 --> 00:11:27,697
You really feel like it's
your fault, don't you?
258
00:11:27,721 --> 00:11:28,698
Yeah.
259
00:11:28,722 --> 00:11:30,667
Alex,
260
00:11:30,691 --> 00:11:32,434
don't feel so guilty.
261
00:11:32,458 --> 00:11:35,693
Guilt is a useless emotion.
262
00:11:40,500 --> 00:11:43,011
Jennifer, just let me
feel guilty, all right?
263
00:11:43,035 --> 00:11:44,714
That's the way I'm
supposed to feel.
264
00:11:44,738 --> 00:11:48,150
In that case, you
blew it with me too.
265
00:11:48,174 --> 00:11:49,785
You shouldn't have
let me have a third bowl
266
00:11:49,809 --> 00:11:51,387
of peanut butter popcorn.
267
00:11:51,411 --> 00:11:54,590
My stomach is killing me.
268
00:11:54,614 --> 00:11:56,325
Is there anything I can do?
269
00:11:56,349 --> 00:11:57,893
You could rub my tummy.
270
00:11:57,917 --> 00:11:59,884
That's what Mommy always does.
271
00:12:01,053 --> 00:12:03,153
Lift 'em up. Ungh!
272
00:12:06,092 --> 00:12:08,070
How's this?
273
00:12:08,094 --> 00:12:10,534
Mommy usually rubs in circles.
274
00:12:13,132 --> 00:12:14,932
Counterclockwise.
275
00:12:19,972 --> 00:12:21,584
Not bad.
276
00:12:21,608 --> 00:12:23,586
But it still hurts.
277
00:12:23,610 --> 00:12:24,854
I don't know what
I was thinking,
278
00:12:24,878 --> 00:12:27,322
having a wild party like that.
279
00:12:27,346 --> 00:12:29,959
I mean, I'm supposed to
be babysitting for you kids,
280
00:12:29,983 --> 00:12:31,527
not throwing orgies for you.
281
00:12:31,551 --> 00:12:33,696
Alex, what's an org...?
282
00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:35,019
Don't ask.
283
00:12:37,623 --> 00:12:40,102
I try to be a
responsible person,
284
00:12:40,126 --> 00:12:41,704
but sometimes
285
00:12:41,728 --> 00:12:44,294
the human side of me takes
over, you know what I mean?
286
00:12:45,231 --> 00:12:47,343
I can't deal with it now, Alex.
287
00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:49,178
Could you please sing to me?
288
00:12:49,202 --> 00:12:51,335
Mommy always sings
when I don't feel well.
289
00:12:52,806 --> 00:12:54,216
The only song I
know all the words to
290
00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:55,539
is "The Star-Spangled Banner".
291
00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:57,920
Don't sing that.
292
00:12:57,944 --> 00:13:01,123
I'll have to stand up.
293
00:13:01,147 --> 00:13:03,993
I don't know the
words to anything else.
294
00:13:04,017 --> 00:13:06,351
Any torch song will do.
295
00:13:10,056 --> 00:13:12,568
♪ It's quarter to three ♪
296
00:13:12,592 --> 00:13:14,503
♪ There's no one in the place ♪
297
00:13:14,527 --> 00:13:16,861
♪ Except for you and me ♪
298
00:13:17,830 --> 00:13:19,997
♪ Set 'em up, Joe ♪
299
00:13:38,018 --> 00:13:39,428
Alex. Mallory.
300
00:13:39,452 --> 00:13:40,663
I'm glad you're up. You know...
301
00:13:40,687 --> 00:13:43,265
Up? Of course I'm up.
302
00:13:43,289 --> 00:13:45,100
Do you think I
could sleep with...
303
00:13:45,124 --> 00:13:46,468
With you God knows where
304
00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:49,226
doing God knows
what with I-know-who.
305
00:13:50,630 --> 00:13:52,074
I don't believe you.
306
00:13:52,098 --> 00:13:53,142
You don't believe me?
307
00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:55,577
Good night, Alex.
"Good night, Alex."
308
00:13:55,601 --> 00:13:59,581
Oh, no, my dear. You're
gonna sit down right now
309
00:13:59,605 --> 00:14:01,851
and you're gonna tell me
exactly what you've been doing
310
00:14:01,875 --> 00:14:02,985
for the past two hours.
311
00:14:03,009 --> 00:14:05,020
Alex, I don't have
to tell you that.
312
00:14:05,044 --> 00:14:07,055
Good night. "Good night"?
313
00:14:07,079 --> 00:14:09,814
"Good night"? "Good night"?!
314
00:14:18,625 --> 00:14:20,157
Kids today.
315
00:14:28,668 --> 00:14:31,046
Hey, come on,
it's just a trophy.
316
00:14:31,070 --> 00:14:34,016
Don't make such
a big deal about it.
317
00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:35,618
It just means that
we're the best dancers
318
00:14:35,642 --> 00:14:37,319
at the resort, that's all.
319
00:14:37,343 --> 00:14:40,189
It's just one resort.
320
00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:42,091
And there may be dancers
somewhere in the world
321
00:14:42,115 --> 00:14:43,292
who are better than we are,
322
00:14:43,316 --> 00:14:44,894
but they're obviously
not at this resort
323
00:14:44,918 --> 00:14:46,828
this weekend.
324
00:14:46,852 --> 00:14:48,132
But it's possible.
325
00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:53,769
Personally, I thought,
the band quit a little early.
326
00:14:53,793 --> 00:14:55,438
I was glad they
stopped when they did.
327
00:14:55,462 --> 00:14:56,605
My feet were getting sore.
328
00:14:56,629 --> 00:14:58,474
Really? Mine weren't.
329
00:14:58,498 --> 00:15:01,076
No one was walking on yours.
330
00:15:01,100 --> 00:15:04,179
I was just trying to get
you to dance a little faster.
331
00:15:04,203 --> 00:15:05,714
It was an up-tempo
number, and I thought
332
00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:07,583
we had a really
good shot at winning.
333
00:15:07,607 --> 00:15:08,951
You got a point
total there, Steve?
334
00:15:08,975 --> 00:15:10,185
Yeah, let's see.
335
00:15:10,209 --> 00:15:12,020
The dancing was worth 14.
336
00:15:12,044 --> 00:15:14,790
And you won the, uh,
swimming competition,
337
00:15:14,814 --> 00:15:18,527
and, uh, Suzanne, the
golf driving for distance.
338
00:15:18,551 --> 00:15:19,928
See, I told you
that weight training
339
00:15:19,952 --> 00:15:21,964
was gonna pay off for you.
340
00:15:21,988 --> 00:15:24,800
Uh, we copped the
archery and the spelling bee
341
00:15:24,824 --> 00:15:26,035
so...
342
00:15:26,059 --> 00:15:28,103
for today,
343
00:15:28,127 --> 00:15:31,274
you guys are up by 24.
344
00:15:31,298 --> 00:15:36,412
Overall, we're still ahead
by 134 points. Heh-heh-heh!
345
00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:38,480
But the evening is still young.
346
00:15:38,504 --> 00:15:40,682
So, what's next
guys? Skeet shooting?
347
00:15:40,706 --> 00:15:42,717
Tag-team wrestling?
Or how about the old
348
00:15:42,741 --> 00:15:46,010
"Who can hold his breath
longer and turn blue first" contest?
349
00:15:48,547 --> 00:15:50,693
All right, go over
those choices again.
350
00:15:50,717 --> 00:15:52,528
Oh!
351
00:15:52,552 --> 00:15:55,364
Come on, just
making a joke, Elyse.
352
00:15:55,388 --> 00:15:57,633
Some of us aren't laughing, Ron.
353
00:15:57,657 --> 00:15:59,768
Okay. Time for Monopoly.
354
00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:02,004
Places, everyone.
I'm the racing car.
355
00:16:02,028 --> 00:16:03,505
Uh-uh. My set.
356
00:16:03,529 --> 00:16:04,640
I'm the racing car.
357
00:16:04,664 --> 00:16:07,576
Okay, I'm the thimble then.
358
00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:10,000
Go get my dice, Suzanne.
They're in the top drawer.
359
00:16:11,504 --> 00:16:13,415
I'm not getting your dice.
360
00:16:13,439 --> 00:16:15,251
I'm tired of these games.
361
00:16:15,275 --> 00:16:17,786
I'm tired of
sharpening your spikes.
362
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:20,056
I'm tired of oiling your glove.
363
00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:22,913
I'm your wife, not your
equipment manager.
364
00:16:24,350 --> 00:16:27,997
Ron, I'm going to bed now.
365
00:16:28,021 --> 00:16:30,099
If you care anything
at all for me,
366
00:16:30,123 --> 00:16:32,723
you'd better be right behind me.
367
00:16:35,595 --> 00:16:37,506
I think under the
circumstances, Steve,
368
00:16:37,530 --> 00:16:40,342
we'd better play the short game.
369
00:16:40,366 --> 00:16:43,045
Ron, I think you'd
better go talk to her.
370
00:16:43,069 --> 00:16:44,813
Yeah, you're probably right.
371
00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:46,649
I gotta get my dice, anyway.
372
00:16:46,673 --> 00:16:47,916
Ron.
373
00:16:47,940 --> 00:16:50,518
I'll set up the board. Steven.
374
00:16:50,542 --> 00:16:52,688
Bet I can make up with my
wife quicker than you can...
375
00:16:52,712 --> 00:16:54,312
Ron! All right.
376
00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:01,764
I don't know what
happens to you.
377
00:17:01,788 --> 00:17:03,799
I'm sorry, honey. I really
wanted this weekend
378
00:17:03,823 --> 00:17:05,534
to be special for us.
379
00:17:05,558 --> 00:17:08,971
When you say "us" do you
mean you and me or you and Ron?
380
00:17:08,995 --> 00:17:11,206
Maybe we should
stop coming here.
381
00:17:11,230 --> 00:17:12,541
Oh, look, I'm sorry.
382
00:17:12,565 --> 00:17:15,243
I-I thought we could all come
up and have a good time. I...
383
00:17:15,267 --> 00:17:17,747
I thought Ron
and I were past it.
384
00:17:17,771 --> 00:17:19,114
I guess we're not.
385
00:17:19,138 --> 00:17:21,416
You're a different person
when you're around him.
386
00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:23,686
I know.
387
00:17:23,710 --> 00:17:26,454
It started on our honeymoon
when they edged us
388
00:17:26,478 --> 00:17:29,858
in the newlywed
potato sack race.
389
00:17:29,882 --> 00:17:32,027
It's no fun coming
up here anymore,
390
00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:34,029
and unless you and
Ron can work this out,
391
00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:36,432
I think this should be our
last vacation with the Davises.
392
00:17:36,456 --> 00:17:38,901
You're right. Ron and I
have been acting like idiots
393
00:17:38,925 --> 00:17:40,035
and it's gonna stop.
394
00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:41,537
Well, you said that before.
395
00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:45,563
I know. But I never realized
how childishly we were behaving.
396
00:17:47,133 --> 00:17:49,044
I'm really sorry.
397
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:51,213
Well, I guess I can forgive you.
398
00:17:51,237 --> 00:17:54,049
I mean, how could I act
like that here, of all places?
399
00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:56,885
This is our honeymoon spot. Mmm.
400
00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:59,755
Maybe I haven't
been acting like it,
401
00:17:59,779 --> 00:18:01,490
but, uh, this place
means a lot to me.
402
00:18:01,514 --> 00:18:03,258
I know. It means
a lot to me too.
403
00:18:03,282 --> 00:18:04,893
Lots of memories, huh? Yeah.
404
00:18:06,285 --> 00:18:08,831
I'm gonna talk to Ron tomorrow.
405
00:18:08,855 --> 00:18:11,834
You know, I-I think it's
too early to give up on him.
406
00:18:11,858 --> 00:18:15,203
You know, underneath it
all, he's a very sensitive guy.
407
00:18:15,227 --> 00:18:19,029
I'm sure he's capable of having
a good time without competing.
408
00:18:22,968 --> 00:18:24,735
Well, that's one.
409
00:18:35,347 --> 00:18:37,915
Mallory, I'd like to talk
to you for a second.
410
00:18:40,386 --> 00:18:41,529
Can you believe that?
411
00:18:41,553 --> 00:18:42,898
I'm half out of my
mind with worry
412
00:18:42,922 --> 00:18:44,132
and she's mad at me.
413
00:18:44,156 --> 00:18:45,500
It's because you yelled at her.
414
00:18:45,524 --> 00:18:47,569
Of course I yelled.
415
00:18:47,593 --> 00:18:49,204
I was concerned about her.
416
00:18:49,228 --> 00:18:52,274
I know that and you know that.
417
00:18:52,298 --> 00:18:54,442
But don't you think
you oughta tell her that?
418
00:18:54,466 --> 00:18:59,303
Communication is so
important in a relationship.
419
00:19:00,673 --> 00:19:02,640
I heard that on Donahue.
420
00:19:03,843 --> 00:19:05,420
Kitchen's clean.
421
00:19:05,444 --> 00:19:07,189
I don't know how the
bubble gum got in the oven.
422
00:19:07,213 --> 00:19:09,291
Mallory, I'd like
to talk to you.
423
00:19:09,315 --> 00:19:11,193
Alex, I have
nothing to say to you.
424
00:19:11,217 --> 00:19:13,729
I'm gonna go up
and sort my socks.
425
00:19:13,753 --> 00:19:18,422
Remember, communication
is a two-way street.
426
00:19:22,728 --> 00:19:25,607
Listen, I'm sorry about
the way I acted last night.
427
00:19:25,631 --> 00:19:27,876
I was way out of line.
428
00:19:27,900 --> 00:19:29,044
You don't have to tell me
429
00:19:29,068 --> 00:19:30,412
anything you don't
wanna tell me.
430
00:19:30,436 --> 00:19:32,448
You're entitled to your privacy.
431
00:19:32,472 --> 00:19:34,416
Thank you. So, what
happened last night?
432
00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:36,218
Alex. Look, Eric's a smooth guy.
433
00:19:36,242 --> 00:19:38,354
A young kid like you must
have been putty in his hands.
434
00:19:38,378 --> 00:19:40,289
I was not putty in his hands.
435
00:19:40,313 --> 00:19:42,024
Just what were you in his hands?
436
00:19:42,048 --> 00:19:45,393
Alex. Don't you think
I've a mind of my own?
437
00:19:45,417 --> 00:19:46,761
I mean, I don't let
a boy do anything
438
00:19:46,785 --> 00:19:47,963
I don't want him to do.
439
00:19:47,987 --> 00:19:49,698
Should I take that to
mean nothing happened?
440
00:19:49,722 --> 00:19:50,932
Oh, you could.
441
00:19:50,956 --> 00:19:52,867
Or you could take it to
mean that nothing happened
442
00:19:52,891 --> 00:19:54,870
that I didn't want to happen.
443
00:19:54,894 --> 00:19:56,905
Okay...
444
00:19:56,929 --> 00:19:59,369
let's narrow down
those options a little.
445
00:19:59,899 --> 00:20:01,810
Do you realize how
insulting you're being?
446
00:20:01,834 --> 00:20:03,979
I mean, if I were your
brother and you were my sister
447
00:20:04,003 --> 00:20:06,148
you wouldn't be asking
me all these questions.
448
00:20:06,172 --> 00:20:07,683
If you were my brother,
449
00:20:07,707 --> 00:20:09,351
Eric wouldn't have
been interested in you.
450
00:20:09,375 --> 00:20:11,020
He would've been
interested in me.
451
00:20:11,044 --> 00:20:13,488
And then you'd be standing here
asking the exact same questions
452
00:20:13,512 --> 00:20:16,057
I'm asking you because
then I would be the girl.
453
00:20:16,081 --> 00:20:18,641
And I'll tell you, I wouldn't
have even gone out with him.
454
00:20:19,318 --> 00:20:20,362
So you believe in the old
455
00:20:20,386 --> 00:20:22,164
double standard then, don't you?
456
00:20:22,188 --> 00:20:24,466
No. No, I believe
in a triple standard.
457
00:20:24,490 --> 00:20:28,137
One for girls, one for
boys and one for sisters.
458
00:20:34,667 --> 00:20:36,678
Eric, what are you doing here?
459
00:20:36,702 --> 00:20:38,614
I came to give
Mallory these flowers.
460
00:20:38,638 --> 00:20:40,782
Yeah, well my sister doesn't
want your lousy flowers.
461
00:20:40,806 --> 00:20:42,217
I don't even want
her to talk to you.
462
00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:43,752
So why don't you just go home?
463
00:20:43,776 --> 00:20:44,919
Now, why don't you let Mallory
464
00:20:44,943 --> 00:20:47,322
decide if she wants
to talk to me or not?
465
00:20:47,346 --> 00:20:50,892
That's a good idea. After all,
Eric came to see me, not you.
466
00:20:50,916 --> 00:20:53,895
All right. All right,
Mallory, take the flowers.
467
00:20:53,919 --> 00:20:56,698
Take the flowers. I just
want you to know one thing.
468
00:20:56,722 --> 00:20:59,162
You're breaking
your brother's heart.
469
00:21:01,026 --> 00:21:03,026
Thank you for the flowers, Eric.
470
00:21:07,266 --> 00:21:08,477
Mallory, what are you doing?
471
00:21:08,501 --> 00:21:10,179
I don't want your lousy flowers.
472
00:21:10,203 --> 00:21:12,443
What are you doing here anyway?
473
00:21:13,071 --> 00:21:15,216
Well, actually I came by
to give you another chance.
474
00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:18,020
I mean, obviously you weren't
thinking clearly last night.
475
00:21:18,044 --> 00:21:20,355
I mean, your biorhythms
could have been off.
476
00:21:20,379 --> 00:21:22,391
I'm just not the kind
of guy to hold a grudge.
477
00:21:22,415 --> 00:21:26,962
What you are is an
egotistical, conceited jerk.
478
00:21:26,986 --> 00:21:28,364
I know you think you're charming
479
00:21:28,388 --> 00:21:30,699
but personally, I
think you're obnoxious.
480
00:21:30,723 --> 00:21:32,234
I never wanna see you again.
481
00:21:32,258 --> 00:21:34,135
In fact, I don't even
wanna see you now.
482
00:21:34,159 --> 00:21:36,738
Out. Out. Out.
483
00:21:36,762 --> 00:21:39,541
Okay, well, uh...
484
00:21:39,565 --> 00:21:40,675
I want you to know I don't have
485
00:21:40,699 --> 00:21:42,277
any hard feelings
about this at all.
486
00:21:42,301 --> 00:21:44,513
Well, that makes
one of us. Goodbye.
487
00:21:44,537 --> 00:21:46,948
Um, Mallory, uh...
488
00:21:46,972 --> 00:21:48,650
can you give me
back the flowers?
489
00:21:48,674 --> 00:21:50,641
I got two more stops to make.
490
00:21:54,447 --> 00:21:57,993
Well, I guess you really
can take care of yourself.
491
00:21:58,017 --> 00:22:00,595
It's about time you realized it.
492
00:22:00,619 --> 00:22:03,832
You must have really had
a horrible time last night.
493
00:22:03,856 --> 00:22:05,434
It was unbelievable.
494
00:22:05,458 --> 00:22:07,002
He kept feeding
me these corny lines
495
00:22:07,026 --> 00:22:09,605
about how he can make
me feel like a woman.
496
00:22:09,629 --> 00:22:11,373
I told him I'd feel a
lot more like a woman
497
00:22:11,397 --> 00:22:13,842
if I weren't with such
a little boy. Whoa!
498
00:22:13,866 --> 00:22:16,311
I'll bet that made him back off.
499
00:22:16,335 --> 00:22:17,312
No.
500
00:22:17,336 --> 00:22:18,914
Then he drove
me up to the Point.
501
00:22:18,938 --> 00:22:20,749
And that's where the
wrestling match started.
502
00:22:20,773 --> 00:22:22,884
I'll kill him. You
don't need to.
503
00:22:22,908 --> 00:22:26,376
I say it's about two more
weeks before his bruises heal.
504
00:22:27,613 --> 00:22:29,457
Anyway,
505
00:22:29,481 --> 00:22:32,294
I really am sorry
about the way I acted.
506
00:22:32,318 --> 00:22:33,962
I know.
507
00:22:33,986 --> 00:22:36,197
You were just
thinking of my welfare.
508
00:22:36,221 --> 00:22:37,899
You were concerned.
509
00:22:37,923 --> 00:22:40,201
You were overprotective.
510
00:22:40,225 --> 00:22:41,825
And you were a yutz.
511
00:22:43,329 --> 00:22:44,640
But I know what
you were thinking,
512
00:22:44,664 --> 00:22:47,030
and I appreciate
it, I really do.
513
00:22:52,438 --> 00:22:55,472
Mom and Dad are
never gonna believe this.
514
00:23:01,313 --> 00:23:04,659
They're in the driveway.
T-minus-20 seconds.
515
00:23:04,683 --> 00:23:07,384
Um, everyone sit
down. Look wholesome.
516
00:23:10,256 --> 00:23:15,270
"'...and this porridge is
just right, ' said Goldilocks."
517
00:23:15,294 --> 00:23:17,254
We're here! We're home!
518
00:23:18,230 --> 00:23:20,275
Oh, we thought you
guys wouldn't get along.
519
00:23:20,299 --> 00:23:22,459
Steven, see if the
second floor is still there.
520
00:23:23,069 --> 00:23:25,280
So everything went okay, huh?
521
00:23:25,304 --> 00:23:28,117
Oh, yeah. A little
quiet but bearable.
522
00:23:28,141 --> 00:23:30,352
Things were fine.
Great. Never better.
523
00:23:30,376 --> 00:23:32,221
In fact, probably
actually perfect.
524
00:23:32,245 --> 00:23:33,989
Shame you couldn't
have been here to see it.
525
00:23:34,013 --> 00:23:36,447
I have pictures.
36511
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