All language subtitles for The Wrong Girl (2016) - S01E01 - Episode 1 (1080p PCOK WEB-DL x265 Panda).en

She sings from somewhere
you can't see

She sits in the top...

...of the greenest tree

She sends out an aroma
of undefined love

It drips on down
in a mist from above

She's just the girl,
she's just the girl

The girl U want...

- Oi! Stop!
- She's just the girl

She's just the girl
The girl U want...

Oh, bloody hell.

Oh!

In the interests of passenger safety,

please refrain
from running on the platforms

or in the station area.

Dale! Don't let Sasha
check her email, phone or computer.

- Create a crisis if you have to.
- Got it.

She's just the girl
The girl U want...

Have you received
a software update on your phone?

- No.
- Good. Don't touch it.

It's got a bug that will crash
the whole system.

She's just the girl,
she's just the girl

The girl U want

She's just the girl,
she's just the girl

The girl U want...

- Nooo!
- I need your iPad too.

- The girl U want...
- Ugh!

She's just the girl,
she's just the girl...

All over the world, there is
one very common theme, and...

- Did you just get home?
- God, I stink.

And yet I like it.

- Do you want to smell me?
- No.

How do I look?

What look are you going for?

Is it CEO of a paper supply firm
or waiter?

What do you think?

I got the moves when you
see me on a Saturday night

I got the moves, jukebox playing
and the music's alright

I got the moves
Hey, hey, I think I do...

Done.

- Good luck.
- Thanks.

I got the moves

Hey, hey, I think I do...

- Good morning, Paula.
- Morning, Lily.

- How are you, Rex?
- Morning, Lily.

You take my hand Shimmy, shimmy

Now he's holding me tight...

- Hey, Lily.
- Val.

Morning.

Morning, Lily.

It's not news.

She has 60 million Instagram followers.

Anything Taylor says is news.

You can't judge newsworthy moments
from the number of likes.

How else are you supposed to judge them?

OK, you guys know the drill.

New segments need to have
some degree of longevity,

something you can put
a spin on each week.

- A feature-length political story?
- That's a good idea.

In addition to our regular news updates?

- Yes, in addition.
- No.

No surprise there. Good luck.

We want something bigger,
something more interactive.

Lily, clearly you've been
preparing something.

Do you know who does
most of the world's work?

- Indians.
- Google. No, Facebook.

No. Women.

Women do 66% of the world's work.

Even at Google, 'cause I'm
pretty sure that's mainly men.

It's not about Google or Facebook,
it's about women around the world

and the amount
of actual physical work they do.

So I'm thinking we look
at women around the world

and compare them on a number of indices,

including how much work they do,
what they eat, what they buy.

It'll be fast.
Bang! This is how much I earn.

Bang! This is what I eat.
Bang! This is who I live with.

Bang! This is depressing.

So you think if we do a different
country each week?

And we could compare them
to Australian women.

Could we bring in a beauty component,

perhaps looking at different
cultural views of beauty?

- We can do that.
- Or make-up.

And how different cultures
use make-up differently.

I like that.

I wouldn't want the focus
to be beauty or make-up.

It's more about power and work.

You got any sponsors interested?

I've spoken to a couple
of Australian fashion labels

and they love the idea.

How interested?
Will they put money on the table?

Not immediately.

Right.

Um, let's see what else we have.

- Nikkii?
- This guy.

Jack Winters.

A chef. Cooks simple, honest food.

He says "Man Tong Noodles" twice,
we have a sponsor on board.

The segment pays for itself.
Boom! Slam dunk.

Totally hot, totally manly,
just opened a new restaurant.

Is he interested
in being on network television?

Well, I've put out a few feelers

and the answer is a resounding
"Yes, please!"

Lily, I'd like you to work with Nikkii.

Help her get this over the line.

I'll have a talk to upstairs,
see what deal we can do with him.

Dale.

You're welcome, babe.

So you've got "Man Tong Noodles" on board?

- What do you mean?
- Are they going to sponsor the segment?

How do I know?

Hi. I'm heading home.

I'm probably going to kill myself,

but before I do,

can you just meet me on the train
in Footscray in about five?

- Sure.
- Thanks.

For some this is all a game

Don't take me just a fool

Won't you just stay on the phone

Faking smiles
and acting all the cool...

- Hey.
- Hey.

Didn't go well, then?

- You wanna talk about it?
- No.

Look at how that guy is sitting.
He's taking up about five seats.

Well, technically, it's only really two.

No, it shits me.
Did he pay for two seats?

No, he didn't.

Doesn't matter. Train's empty.

- What are you...?
- Shhh.

- Put your phone away.
- Shhh.

Lily...

Lily.

- What are you doing?
- What's going on here?

Can I check your ticket, please?

No, because I forgot to bring it.

And I have a very good reason,
which I'm happy to explain.

No, please don't.

You can call me
when you're all alone, darling

So to sum things up,
you completely blew your pitch.

Yeah.

And now you're forced
to produce a cooking segment,

even though you can't cook.

Well, she's not actually
doing the cooking.

Shh! Have no interest in cooking.

And you have to work with someone
who you don't respect

and who doesn't respect you.

Mmm. I'm not sure
that she doesn't respect me.

I think we can safely assume
that she doesn't.

Well, let's not go too far.

I can't eat.

Oh, God.

It's an email from Sasha.

I can't read it. Can you read it to me?

"I'd like you all to welcome
Jack Winters to 'The Breakfast Bar'.

"Jack is a dynamic
and forward-thinking chef

"who reflects the current culture of food

"that is both healthy and delicious."

Sounds like a monster.

Resign and be done with it.

Auf Wiedersehen, losers.

And in case that's not clear enough,

please send my fond farewell
to the new chef,

who I have no doubt is a
monstrous piece of conceited turd.

Thank God I'll never have to eat
that shit sandwich.

I know I'm taking this badly,
but Sasha never goes for my ideas.

I'm trying to think of an upside.
There isn't one.

I'm not climbing up the career ladder,

I am falling down, down, down.

I have all these amazing ideas
and no-one wants them.

You don't think you're catastrophising?

No. The reality is the only place
I'd probably do well...

- ...is in porn.
- Why would you do well in porn?

So you don't even think
I could crack it there?

Well, seeing as you've never
even watched porn,

then I think you wouldn't be
that great at producing it.

I've watched tons of porn.

Foreign films are not considered porn.

If everyone in the film is naked,
it's porn.

Let's just leave that one alone,
shall we?

What if this is it for me, Pete?

What if no-one ever goes for my ideas

and I just fumble along
until I'm old and alone

and... maybe even really, really fat?

And then I die.

And then my pet, maybe a dog,

maybe a parrot,

mistakes my fat, bulging face

for a pile of juicy
yet strangely pale sausages.

Well, even when you're old and fat
and you have no face,

I'll still be your friend.

That's beautiful.

Why did you do that?

I don't know.

Kiss me again.

Lily...

Ahh.

Is... is that what you want?

Kiss me back.

Are you sure you wanna do this?

We've been friends
for a really long time.

Or is she in me

And all the rest

Well, baby, you're the best

We'll figure out the rest

And maybe it's a test

I think we'd better quit

While we're ahead

Who was the last person
you had sex with before me?

- No way.
- What?

I know this is a trap. I don't know
what sort, but it's a trap.

What are you talking about?

We're best friends.

We can tell each other anything.

Oh, I... I don't want
to tell you about this.

Why?

Because these conversations
always end badly.

Come on.

Tell me.

It was, er, a woman at work.

A one-night stand?

No, but it was pretty casual.

- Did you like her?
- Yeah.

But it was never going anywhere,
you know?

It was just a sex thing
from her point of view.

And what about from your point of view?

I like her, but, you know,
she thinks I'm too young.

How old is she?

She's 42. She's gorgeous.

Just got something about her.

It's... you know,
it's difficult to describe.

She kind of fascinates me, you know?

- Are you serious?
- What?

Why are you telling me about this woman?

Because you asked.

Have you thought for a second,
for a millisecond,

how this might make me feel?

- Now I am.
- Good!

- Er, I didn't know you felt this way.
- Well, I do.

I thought we were just friends
having fun.

I didn't realise it meant more to you.

- Oh, no. Don't you start that.
- What?

Don't you even attempt
to excuse your bad behaviour

by implying that I'm in love with you.

No, I'm not saying that.
But you're so hurt.

I'm not hurt, I'm appalled,
which is a very different thing.

And if you don't understand
the difference

between being hurt and being appalled,

then you have no insight
into the human condition

and I can only assume that you are
a heavily disguised narcissist.

Just go home.

Knew this conversation would end badly.

And as I predicted...

...it has.

Hold on, I just got to let you know

That I'm calling your mystery

I hope that this moment's
not for show

If only you could see that...

Oh, well, I've got the fever now

Oh, well, it's made me a believer...

Oh, no.

In the interests of passenger safety,

please refrain from running on the
platforms or in the station area.

Dale!

Have you received a software update
on your phone?

No.

- No!
- I need your iPad too.

Come in.

She's just the girl,
she's just the girl

The girl U want

She's just the girl,
she's just the girl

Did she fire you?

I have to apologise to the chef.

I would consider that a win.

And get him back on board
to do our segment of the show.

He'll never do it. Why do you say that?

Because you called him a turd.

How do you know that?
How does everybody know that?

Because Sasha told me
and I told everyone else.

Why, why, why would you do that?

Because I thought it was funny.

Clearly I misjudged it,
I can tell that from your face.

Don't be angry at me.

Oh, well... Yep.

Dale, why do you do this job?

Because one day, news will be dead.

No-one will care,
no-one will mourn it except for me,

so I want to be there the day it dies.

I want to bear witness to its death

and I want to feel proud I tried,

however fruitlessly, to keep it alive.

Dale, is there only one 'I'
in Kardashian?

Yes.

Yes, there is.

Yes!

Hello. Jack?

- Yes. Hello.
- Hi.

I'm Lily Woodward.

You may know me
from a poorly worded email

that I sent you at 7:10 this morning.

- Come with me.
- Thank you.

I want to say very clearly

that it doesn't reflect
my feelings about you

nor the level of respect
that I have for you.

I want to apologise
as sincerely as possible...

Shh.

OK.

Thank you. It...

I'm getting the impression
you read the email.

Yep.

Um, what time do you want me in
tomorrow?

If you want me in early,
it's no big deal.

Well, it's whatever's on the roster.

OK.

Hey, you know this... us...

isn't going anywhere?

- What?
- You know what I mean.

Maybe we can take it somewhere.

Oh, you know that
I don't want a boyfriend, so...

Yeah, especially one I work with.

I'll get it.

OK, so you've been to
the chef's restaurant,

you've Facebooked him, you've
emailed him, you've called him.

- Yes.
- Have you texted him?

16 times.

And he hasn't replied to any of them?

No.

- Why is he taunting you like this?
- Mmm!

I don't know.

He's turning you into a stalker.

- He's forcing you to stalk him.
- I know.

Let me see if I can find out
what he likes to do.

I did it with Pete last night.

Did what?

- Ahh. How was it?
- Disastrous.

Really? I always thought that
Pete would be quite good at sex.

The sex was fine, but then he told me
he's been shagging someone else.

I think I missed part of the story,
why was it a disaster?

He's been shagging someone else.

Big deal. Be grateful for the back-up.

Mmm, from what I can tell,

the chef spends most of his time
cooking,

running, swimming, doing yoga
and meditating.

Yeah, see, that actually sickens me.

- Mm-hm.
- Aha!

I found you.

And I know where
you're gonna be tonight.

Quick, Simone, lend me a dress.
I'm going out.

Oh! Yeah.

"Huge line.

"You've worked at every club
in the city. How do I get in?"

Busy night, huh? I got a call you
guys needed more lemons urgently.

Cool.

Have a good night.

What's your most expensive champagne?

- Bollinger.
- I'll take two glasses of that.

- That's $45.
- What?!

OK, changing the order.

Two glasses of your cheapest champagne.

This is for you. Bollinger.

Oh.

Please, enjoy.

You're planning on following me
into the toilet?

- If I have to. Wow.
- What do you want?

- I want you to come and do our show.
- Why?

Tell me in 20 words or less
why I should do it.

Because if you don't,
I will lose my job.

That's only nine. Dammit.

Don't make it about you.

Do I have 11 words left
or do I still have 20?

11.

Hundreds of thousands of people
watch our show every week.

- And we can make you famous.
- I don't care about being famous.

You have 146,000 Instagram followers.

- I think you care a little bit.
- Don't tell me what I care about.

What's important to me is food
and our relationship to food.

And our show can only enhance that.

We'll give you a new
and receptive audience

that are always on tap
and always on your side.

There's one thing that bothers me,
and when I say, "One thing,"

- I mean, "One more thing."
- What?

I wanna work with someone
who has a passion for food.

Oh, that's me!
I... I have a real passion for food.

- What's your favourite cuisine?
- Lean.

Uh, I'm sorry, I panicked.

What country's food do you most like?

- Um...
- You honestly can't think of one?

I just don't know what country
toasted sandwiches come from.

I'm sorry, I don't trust you.

Well, come and do one show with us

and if you can't work with me,

I'll resign and you'll never
have to deal with me again.

Sounds perfect.

What a knob.

Hey, come in.

Oh, yeah, thanks. It's my house.

Simone?

Simone!

Hey, I invited
some friends back after work.

You alright? Did you talk to Pete?

I think my friendship with Pete is over.

Maybe he told you about the other woman

because he wants to bring
another woman into the relationship.

Which is only a win for you,
we all get sick of the penis.

No, he doesn't want to bring
another woman into the relationship.

Firstly, there is no relationship.

And if there was, he's actually saying

he wants someone else instead of,
not in addition, to me.

- Why do you care?
- I don't care. I just...

I think it's...
I think it's poor form, that's all.

Don't have sex with me if you're
thinking about someone else.

Sounds like you care a bit.

Do you think I wanna be with Pete?

Well, do you?

No... No.

I just...

I guess I wanted him
to wanna be with me.

So you could reject him?

No. No, no, no, no.

I... I've had enough of men.

No more men. I'm sick of them.

I'll join you. No more men.

Do you wanna come and do some shots?

No. I'm going to bed.

I'll do some for you.

You do that.

Oi!

Oi.

Oh! What are you doing? Get out!

Sorry, I think I misread the situation.

Get out.

- What can I get you?
- Decaf soy latte.

- I'm not making it.
- What?

- I'm not making it.
- Why?

Because this is a coffee shop,
we serve coffee.

And coffee, by definition,
is caffeinated.

I'll make you a coffee, I'll make you
any sort of coffee you want,

I'll even concede to
a coffee made with soy milk,

but I will not make a coffee
that contains no caffeine

because that is not coffee.

I'll make it.

Ah! Hello and welcome!

- Is it Nikkii?
- Yes, it is. Hi.

- And I've met Lily.
- Hello. Good to see you.

Uh, so what we thought we'd do is
just a very, very casual rehearsal

and just walk you through the steps
of the cooking segment.

Fine.

Now, what usually happens
is that you have an earpiece

and we talk you through what's going on.

So who would you feel
more comfortable hearing from,

Lily or me?

Or should we just let the universe
work it out? Oh!

Now, I've got a few ideas
I'd like to talk through with you.

My feeling is,
as it's your first time on air,

you don't have to say too much,
we can focus on...

Nikkii. I'd rather hear from Nikkii.

What? Well, I'm flattered.
The universe did work it out.

It wasn't the universe.

OK, it's this way, Jack.

He needs to be well-rehearsed,
so take as much time as you need.

Get him used to having
someone in his ear.

I'm all over it.

Keep him happy.

He is.

He's very happy.

Phew.

Need to get that table fixed.
Got a wonky leg.

- Oh, I can fix it.
- I don't need you fixing my furniture.

Hey, do you want to go outside,
have a bit of kick-to-kick?

Oh, I'm shattered, Dad.
You're always bloody shattered.

You're soft!

Hey, um, I'm gonna put
a couple of steaks on.

- Happy with that?
- Yeah.

Hey, get Lily over.

She's always fun.

Uh, no, she's busy tonight, Dad.

I like her more than I like you.

"Will I still come to dinner
with your parents?"

Up to you.

- Darling.
- Thanks, Lil. Thanks, Mum.

- Love you.
- Hi, guys, sorry I'm late.

I was working but thought
I'd drop in for a drink.

Happy birthday, mate, good to see you.

- Hi, Mimi.
- Good. You?

- Tony, how's things?
- Hey, Pete, how's your dad?

- Yeah, he's good.
- Grab a seat.

- How's work, Lil?
- It's good.

I've been given a cooking
segment to produce.

- Really?
- Oh!

- That is wonderful!
- Pete doesn't think much of it.

Or me, for that matter. He thinks
I'd struggle to produce porn.

Are you planning to produce porn?

Mmm. It might well come to that.

Oh, right.
OK, Pete, how's your love life?

Uh, yeah, nothing much to report, Mimi.

My advice to you, Pete, is enjoy
yourself before you get married,

have as much fun as you can.

Thanks, Tony. Yeah,
it's good advice. I'm trying to.

Oh, really? Is that what you're doing?

Well, you know, I regret not just
playing the field a bit more

- before I tied the knot.
- Oh, well, made up for it after.

So, Vinnie, I heard that

you're applying for a job
at the Prince hospital.

Yeah. They, um, called me in
for an interview but...

- And?
- Um...

But I saw their faces
when I arrived and I...

- Oh, you don't know.
- No, I do know.

I got a letter today... no job.

- Uh, that's alright.
- Right.

And I have some news for everyone.

I have a new baby.

- Look at it.
- Wow.

- Hey! Oh, is it an electric car?
- Yes, indeed.

Wow!

But how much did that cost?

- Mum...
- What?

- I'm just asking how much it costs.
- It doesn't matter, Mum.

Darling, please don't infer
that I'm behaving badly

when the only person behaving badly
here is your father.

- Oh, here we go.
- I mean...

Seriously, how many midlife crises
do you plan to have?

You got the implants,
screwed your secretary,

did paleo, I mean,
what is going to happen next?

You gonna have a crack at Pete?

Hey! Didn't see that comin'. Ah...

I do not have hair implants.

Come on, Vincent.

- Let's go.
- Fine.

I can do it, Mum, let go of me.

- It's alright, darling.
- See you, mate. Happy birthday.

Yep. It's alright, Mum.

- See you, Mimi. 'Bye.
- 'Bye, Pete.

- Have a good night.
- 'Bye.

- See you, Tony. Stay well.
- See you.

I've got you.

- Lily, I don't bag your career.
- You bag everything.

You sneer at anyone who's not living
the way you want them to live.

But what about you? You're a brainy
guy and you work as a barista.

Yeah, well, I do that to make money.

I'm a music journalist writing a book.

You've been writing that book
for four years.

Well, I wanna get it right.

You know the first thing to do
to get it right?

You could get some letters,
make some words

and put them down on a piece of paper!

- Lily, thanks very much.
- No, when you had no money

and you had to sell
that PlayStation on eBay,

who do you think bought it?

I know you want me to say "I don't
know," but by asking the question...

It was #TeamMe.

Please don't say hashtag.

So you're gonna bag
the way I argue with you now?

No! No, I'm just...

Hang on, if you bought my PlayStation,

then why didn't you give it back to me?

'Cause I started playing it
and I actually really liked it.

But the point is I could not have
been more supportive of you.

It's been four years because the nature
and focus of the work's changed.

How can the evolution
of Radiohead change?

Well, based on social context...

That's not a real question! No!

It's been four years because you're
too scared to commit to anything.

You chop and change and
you never have to fail at anything

'cause you never try to do well.

You just wait, in 10 years time,

you'll still be working
in a coffee shop.

Oh, no, wait, actually, no, you won't
because you'll be old

and they don't want some fat old guy
making their pitsy coffee.

Is this about us
hooking up the other night?

Because if it is,
it really wasn't worth it.

I can't be friends with you anymore.

Um...

So, what, you're going to throw away

our entire friendship
because of one night?

One stupid night?

Oh, you're a piece of work.

You alright, mate?

Yeah, yeah, just taking in the night.

I'll sit with you for a moment,
if that's alright.

I stuffed up, Dad.

I hooked up with Lily
and now things are weird.

She doesn't want to see me,
she doesn't want to be friends.

I don't know what 'hooked up' means.

Shagged.

Got it.

Well, you stuffed up.

OK, turn... Stop.

Why am I doing this tonight?

Turn... stop.

I don't know, I thought
I might wear it tomorrow.

You like Pete, right?

Sure. I love him.

Turn.

Stop.

I was with Pete the other night.

- Oh, yeah?
- No, no.

I wasn't just with him.

OK.

We were...

Anyway, we were together.

But don't worry,
nothing's gonna happen with us.

He likes someone else.

Lil, I don't care about Pete.

I care about you.

What do you want?

I just want things to go back
to the way they were before.

I said really nasty stuff to him
and I didn't mean any of it.

I just said it to hurt him.

Look, you are a very smart girl.

Just give each other
some leeway and then...

...be just a little more generous
than you think is fair.

Hey, you want to meet up?

Yes. When?

Tomorrow night? My place?

So, Hamilton, it's going to be very
hot for this time of year today.

Would you say that's
a direct result of global warming?

No, Eric, I'd say that's
a direct result of the sun's rays

hitting the Southern Hemisphere
at an acute angle.

This angle you speak of,
caused by global warming.

- Nothing to do with it, Eric.
- Eric, stop talking.

Great work, Eric. Let's go to Hamilton.

Straight after the weather
we're going to the cooking segment.

- Jack, can you hear me?
- Ahh. Yeah, it's loud.

Oh, sorry.

- Erica, head over to the kitchen set.
- OK, Jack.

Now I know that Nikkii talked
this through with you yesterday,

but let's just go through it
one more time.

We'll have your intro on autocue

so you can look at that if you need to.

Then Erica's gonna come
and ask you some questions.

Those questions won't be on autocue.
Have you got that?

OK, if you can't think of things to say,

just talk about the origins of the dish.

He knows that.

Did you get him the list of facts
about Mexican street food?

He knows about Mexican street food.

How do you know? Did he tell you that?

OK, we're coming
to the kitchen in five...

...four, three,

- two...
- Good luck, Jack.

Back to you, have fun
in the kitchen, Erica.

I understand we're having tacos today.

Yes, we are, Erica.
One of my favourite quick meals.

- Really good.
- Fantastic.

She's gonna introduce you
now to the viewers.

This is Jack, he's our new chef
on 'The Breakfast Bar',

although a lot of you must be
quite familiar with him.

I understand, Jack, that you have 146,000
Instagram followers. Is that true?

Well, I'm not sure, Erica,
but I appreciate every one of them.

Really good.

Make sure you're facing Erica,
that's who you're talking to.

Umm, sorry, I didn't hear your question.

Could you tell us how to
make the perfect taco?

Make sure you're facing
the camera. Don't face Erica.

The important thing is that
the camera can see you.

Urgh, that looked a bit awkward.

Just try and move smoothly
but never turn your back...

- Stop talking.
- What?

Look, you're speaking too much
and he can't hear Erica.

Just less is more. Be quiet.

Well, Erica, you have to
put some love into it.

Don't let the food absorb your stress.

I love that attitude in the kitchen.

Don't you love that attitude, Eric?

Oh, mucho taco.

So...

If she asks anything you don't know,
just talk about the ingredients.

I'm sorry, I didn't hear your question.

- Just talk about an ingredient.
- Let him answer the question.

- He doesn't know it.
- He can't hear it.

Is the foot pain segment ready?
Might need to pull it forward.

- Yep.
- Tell her about garlic.

Uh, garlic...

Garlic is quite an amazing food.

It contains an ingredient
called allicin,

which is a natural antibiotic.

Wow, allicin. That's fantastic.

Can you tell us how garlic is used
in this particular recipe?

Garlic's not used in this recipe.

Oh, shit.

- Oh, God, just talk about something else.
- Right.

- Anything!
- Ahh!

- Oh, are you alright?
- Oh, Jesus.

I love this show.

Take the headset off.

- Take it off, Nikkii.
- Take it off, Nikkii.

OK, Dale, get me some interesting
facts about Mexican street food.

Can you just go to a close-up
on the food? Stay on that.

Camera four.

Keep describing the ingredients.

Jack, it's Lily.

Deep breaths, be calm.

The camera is not on you right now,
it's on the food.

What have you got?

I want you to listen carefully
and repeat after me.

Erica, I can tell you
some pretty cool facts

about Mexican street food.

Erica, I can tell you
some pretty cool facts

about Mexican street food.

I would love to hear some facts
about Mexican street food.

The word 'taco' actually means
'light lunch' in Spanish.

Well, taco actually means
'light lunch' in Spanish.

Light lunch? I did not know that.

- The taco was created...
- Anything else?

...by the indigenous people of Mexico.

How very interesting.

When the Spanish arrived in Mexico...

...they loved it
and renamed it the taco.

The taco. There you go.

Voila. Sorry, that's French.

Gracias.

Buen provecho.

Mmm, that's really good.

Thank you so much, Jack.

And four. The kitchen
is closed, thank God.

- ...help you back on your feet.
- Well done.

Coming up next.

And we're clear.

So can anyone tell me
what the hell just happened there?

Sasha?!

- Oh, shit.
- Can they hear me?

- The doors.
- Don't worry.

- Sasha, can I speak to you?
- She's coming up.

- What do you want me to do, - Sasha!

avoid her? Where are you going?

- Hi.
- Hi.

I found all that talk really confusing.

You could not ear.
You did well, I mean it.

No-one noticed. It was actually amazing.

You're a natural.

Bloody hell, what a nightmare.

Tell me what's happening
on social media.

- Are we being destroyed?
- Well, it's...

- No, I don't want to know.
- OK.

Tell me. Yeah, tell me. I'm ready.

"The new chef is so cute,
I feel sorry for him."

"I wish he'd take his shirt off."

"Did you see him wince? I hope he's OK."

"He is HAWT."

- Well, that's a relief.
- Man, you should be psyched.

- Hey.
- Hi.

Um, come in.
You want a coffee or something?

No, no. There's just something
I want to talk to you about.

I just wanted to speak with you
away from work.

Ahh, yeah, yeah, come in.

Well, it's... it's who I am. Yeah.

- Do you want... Yeah.
- Yeah, that'd be great.

No, thank you.

- You know how we swore off men?
- I knew you wouldn't last.

Oh, no, I am lasting. You got it wrong.

I just wanted dispensation and
I'm willing to give you one too.

What exactly are the rules
of the dispensation?

If we meet someone we really like,
we can hook up with them.

Then we're not swearing off men.

- Oh, really, you can't stick to it?
- I can stick to it.

I'm just saying it's like saying,

"I'm vegetarian
except spaghetti bolognese."

God, don't talk to me about vegetarians.

Everyone hates them
and rightly so, I believe.

- I grant you a dispensation.
- And I grant you yours.

I don't even want one.

And yet I'm still
willing to give it to you,

which shows what a generous person I am.

- You're welcome.
- Thank you.

Ding, ding.

I just wanted to say a few words.

I wanted to officially welcome Jack.

This morning's segment had
a couple of tough moments.

Moments that we've all
experienced in live TV.

Experienced? Doesn't she mean created?

I think we managed to move through it...

By panicking and falling to pieces?

...and create what I think is
going to be an awesome segment.

In spite of you being involved in it.

So, Jack,

I am very excited to be producing
this segment with you and...

- Well, to Jack.
- To Jack.

To Jack!

Come with me.

Thanks for today.

You really turned it around for me.

It's my job.

Wow. Let's share it.

I love the thrill of live TV.

It's exciting.

Oh, this is actually beautiful.

That wasn't a cool vibe
you sent me in the email.

Bad day at work.

Another idea rejected.

So what's your big dream?

I want to make documentaries.

So why aren't you?

Because even though I want
to make documentaries,

no-one seems to want to actually
pay me to make documentaries.

What about you?

Why did you become a chef?

I don't know, I...

went through some
changes a few years ago.

Decided I'd start
treating my body differently.

Have more respect for it.

Don't fill it with poison
every chance you get.

What was your poison?

I wasn't particularly discerning.

So what now?

I think I've had my lifetime's
entitlement of drugs and alcohol.

Hey, we should get going.
We better get the train.

I'll drop you.

- Are you sure?
- Of course.

OK. Great, um, thanks.

Can I get a doggie bag for this?

- Thanks for the lift.
- Coming in?

- I better not.
- Oh, you have to come in.

You need at least
one more drink to celebrate.

Not for me.

- Thank you.
- I'll be right back.

That's too much.

Four reasons
you should still be my friend.

One, I'm a mad dancer.

Two, I can kick a goal
from 50 metres into the breeze.

Three, I always take you
to putt-putt on your birthday

even though you know I hate it.

Where is reason number four?

Here.

Sorry, I knocked on the front door,
but no-one answered.

I didn't hear it.

I want to go back to how things were.

Do you wish we hadn't crossed that line?

No.

No, crossing the line was...

...was perfect.

It made sense at the time.

It felt right.

I remember thinking,

"Why hasn't this happened before?"

Yeah, I thought that too.

What do you think now?

That other woman
I told you about, Meredith.

What?

She's pregnant.

Oh, Pete.