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1
00:00:28,020 --> 00:00:30,339
- Hey.
- Hi. How are you?
2
00:00:30,740 --> 00:00:32,940
You know,
I wish it wasn't Thursday.
3
00:00:33,020 --> 00:00:36,539
Steve and Cindy day.
He already got you a tea by the way.
4
00:00:36,620 --> 00:00:38,259
- He's here?
- Yeah.
5
00:00:38,740 --> 00:00:40,259
He asked to see
my driver's license.
6
00:00:41,340 --> 00:00:42,620
- What?
- Yeah.
7
00:00:43,060 --> 00:00:45,020
- What did say?
- I said no.
8
00:00:45,740 --> 00:00:46,899
What reason did he give?
9
00:00:47,420 --> 00:00:49,020
He wanted to compare it to his.
10
00:00:49,100 --> 00:00:51,300
He wanted to see if they changed
in the last few years.
11
00:00:51,380 --> 00:00:53,100
- Bullshit.
- Do you think so?
12
00:00:53,179 --> 00:00:56,219
- He's obsessed.
- I'm sorry.
13
00:00:59,660 --> 00:01:02,420
- So, here's what I found out.
- You asked to see Jay's ID.
14
00:01:03,060 --> 00:01:05,500
That's a rather
dramatic interpretation.
15
00:01:05,580 --> 00:01:08,020
I wanted to see what the new
licenses looked like. That's all.
16
00:01:08,100 --> 00:01:11,059
They wouldn't show me
of course. Top secret.
17
00:01:11,140 --> 00:01:13,459
I think "private"
rather than "top secret".
18
00:01:13,539 --> 00:01:15,020
What if I were a traffic cop,
19
00:01:15,100 --> 00:01:17,339
would her driver's license
be top secret then?
20
00:01:17,419 --> 00:01:20,619
- Their driver's license.
- Damn it.
21
00:01:20,699 --> 00:01:22,899
Scott, please don't train
as a traffic cop
22
00:01:22,979 --> 00:01:24,899
so you can ask to see their ID.
23
00:01:24,979 --> 00:01:27,819
Okay. So here, can I
report what I found out?
24
00:01:28,140 --> 00:01:30,660
- About Jay?
- No. I'm not insane.
25
00:01:30,740 --> 00:01:32,699
I've been investigating
your new life.
26
00:01:32,780 --> 00:01:33,940
It's not a new life.
27
00:01:34,020 --> 00:01:36,380
So, all the days and nights that
I thought you were
28
00:01:36,459 --> 00:01:37,780
in our New York apartment
29
00:01:37,860 --> 00:01:40,740
visiting our daughters,
our grandchildren,
30
00:01:40,819 --> 00:01:44,819
you were actually in Sabbath
Day Lake Village in Maine.
31
00:01:44,899 --> 00:01:47,539
Hell of a drive. Eight hours
if there's no traffic.
32
00:01:47,619 --> 00:01:50,940
You're celibate, which anyway,
we'll get to that, I guess.
33
00:01:51,020 --> 00:01:52,459
You believe
in the dualism of God.
34
00:01:52,539 --> 00:01:55,459
That is to say, you believe that
God is both male and female,
35
00:01:56,179 --> 00:01:57,819
and there aren't a lot of you left.
36
00:01:57,899 --> 00:01:59,100
What are you talking about?
37
00:01:59,179 --> 00:02:01,819
Why am I driving to a village
eight hours away?
38
00:02:01,899 --> 00:02:04,100
'Cause you have to
if you're a Shaker,
39
00:02:04,179 --> 00:02:06,140
as you announced
in our session last week,
40
00:02:06,220 --> 00:02:08,900
and there is nowhere else
in the whole of the USA.
41
00:02:10,739 --> 00:02:11,739
I'm not a Shaker.
42
00:02:12,460 --> 00:02:13,660
Well, what are you then?
43
00:02:13,739 --> 00:02:16,900
Well, I'm part of a Quaker community.
44
00:02:17,620 --> 00:02:20,419
- You're a Quaker?
- Well, yes, maybe.
45
00:02:20,500 --> 00:02:22,019
- Not a Shaker?
- No.
46
00:02:22,660 --> 00:02:23,660
I heard Shaker.
47
00:02:23,739 --> 00:02:26,259
Well, you heard wrong.
I'm not a Shaker.
48
00:02:26,979 --> 00:02:29,220
- And there's a difference?
- Clearly.
49
00:02:29,579 --> 00:02:31,819
I don't know
too much about Shakers,
50
00:02:31,900 --> 00:02:35,100
but I know Quakers aren't celibate.
51
00:02:36,100 --> 00:02:37,220
How do you know that?
52
00:02:37,699 --> 00:02:40,060
Well, we've had sex
since I became a Quaker.
53
00:02:40,139 --> 00:02:41,460
So, there's that.
54
00:02:42,060 --> 00:02:43,380
I've had sex with a Quaker.
55
00:02:44,500 --> 00:02:45,579
Jesus.
56
00:02:45,660 --> 00:02:49,340
Anyway, Quakers are regular people.
57
00:02:49,859 --> 00:02:53,859
So, why be a Quaker?
Why quake?
58
00:02:53,940 --> 00:02:55,419
What do you do
when you see these people?
59
00:02:55,900 --> 00:02:58,780
Well, mostly, I think, meditate.
60
00:02:59,220 --> 00:03:01,460
Right. You couldn't
do that at home?
61
00:03:02,500 --> 00:03:05,419
The point is to think with others.
It's a prayer circle.
62
00:03:05,940 --> 00:03:07,100
But nobody says anything.
63
00:03:07,180 --> 00:03:09,859
Well, occasionally,
someone will speak.
64
00:03:09,940 --> 00:03:12,060
- Do you?
- I have done.
65
00:03:12,139 --> 00:03:13,340
What do you say?
66
00:03:14,419 --> 00:03:16,139
I'm not sure I want to go into that.
67
00:03:16,979 --> 00:03:19,299
It wasn't anything
about me or the marriage?
68
00:03:19,380 --> 00:03:20,780
It's always about you.
69
00:03:21,340 --> 00:03:22,940
I don't know if you're joking or not.
70
00:03:23,940 --> 00:03:25,819
I am capable of joking.
71
00:03:25,900 --> 00:03:27,780
But if you're joking,
why won't you tell me?
72
00:03:29,019 --> 00:03:31,780
Because you're not
the most sympathetic guy
73
00:03:31,859 --> 00:03:33,699
when it comes to this kind of thing.
74
00:03:33,780 --> 00:03:35,699
I don't know
what "this kind of thing" is.
75
00:03:35,780 --> 00:03:41,100
Well, I don't know what you'd call it.
Matters of the spirit, I guess.
76
00:03:41,180 --> 00:03:43,579
"Matters of the spirit"?
No, you're right.
77
00:03:44,019 --> 00:03:46,380
But I want to know how it works.
So you...
78
00:03:46,940 --> 00:03:52,259
You're sitting there in silence,
doing your thing, and...
79
00:03:55,220 --> 00:03:58,500
Well, I once said something
about a piece of music.
80
00:03:58,579 --> 00:04:00,299
A piece of music?
What piece of music?
81
00:04:00,979 --> 00:04:04,100
Does it really matter?
If I told you that piece of music was
82
00:04:04,180 --> 00:04:07,299
"Me and you and a dog named Boo",
would that help you?
83
00:04:07,380 --> 00:04:09,780
- The Lobo song?
- If that's who it was?
84
00:04:09,859 --> 00:04:13,539
"Me and you"...
I'm surprised you even knew it.
85
00:04:13,620 --> 00:04:16,700
I'm the one that listens
to oldies radio. What did you say?
86
00:04:16,780 --> 00:04:19,739
Okay, first of all, I know songs
in the 1970s. I grew up then, too.
87
00:04:19,820 --> 00:04:22,059
And, secondly, I never
actually mentioned the song.
88
00:04:22,140 --> 00:04:24,220
It was a preposterous example.
89
00:04:25,539 --> 00:04:26,939
Do they have any other songs?
90
00:04:27,020 --> 00:04:28,340
- Lobo?
- Yeah.
91
00:04:28,419 --> 00:04:30,460
Can we talk about Lobo
another time?
92
00:04:30,539 --> 00:04:32,939
And I think Lobo was a "him".
Not a "them".
93
00:04:34,100 --> 00:04:35,419
Unless, of course...
94
00:04:35,499 --> 00:04:38,100
Don't say it.
It's unworthy of you.
95
00:04:38,179 --> 00:04:39,539
You don't know
what I'm going to say?
96
00:04:39,619 --> 00:04:41,580
I absolutely do.
97
00:04:41,979 --> 00:04:43,140
Okay. I'm predictable.
98
00:04:44,140 --> 00:04:46,739
We should talk about chart hits
of the '70s more often.
99
00:04:46,820 --> 00:04:49,340
I had no idea you were
this fount of knowledge.
100
00:04:49,419 --> 00:04:52,580
Well, there you are. They say
counseling is a voyage of discovery.
101
00:04:52,660 --> 00:04:55,700
Yeah. But this is important,
we share a culture.
102
00:04:55,780 --> 00:04:58,419
Memories.
We're the same age.
103
00:04:58,499 --> 00:05:00,820
A lot of married couples
are the same age.
104
00:05:00,900 --> 00:05:02,460
People still get divorced.
105
00:05:02,539 --> 00:05:04,580
They come to a conclusion
it's not enough.
106
00:05:05,419 --> 00:05:07,539
Is this all because of the quaking?
107
00:05:07,619 --> 00:05:10,460
Please be more respectful.
Enough with the quaking.
108
00:05:10,979 --> 00:05:12,460
- Quakers don't quake?
- No!
109
00:05:12,939 --> 00:05:17,619
Well, it's pretty unusual to be a
something-er and not do the something.
110
00:05:17,700 --> 00:05:21,619
Swimmers swim. Robbers rob.
But Quakers don't quake.
111
00:05:21,700 --> 00:05:22,780
You think you can trick me.
112
00:05:22,859 --> 00:05:26,059
You're trying to get me to admit that
I've been quaking the whole time.
113
00:05:26,140 --> 00:05:28,179
- I'm just saying.
- But why are you just saying?
114
00:05:28,260 --> 00:05:29,379
This is important to me, Scott.
115
00:05:29,460 --> 00:05:31,499
It's going to take up
a lot of the rest of my life.
116
00:05:31,580 --> 00:05:34,780
Golf is gonna take up a lot of mine.
But I'm not going to divorce you.
117
00:05:35,780 --> 00:05:37,739
- It's not the same.
- Why not?
118
00:05:37,820 --> 00:05:40,580
Why can't I play golf,
you go to your meetings,
119
00:05:40,660 --> 00:05:42,739
and we come home in the
evenings and watch TV.
120
00:05:42,820 --> 00:05:44,739
Golf isn't a world view.
121
00:05:44,820 --> 00:05:46,859
You can have a world view.
I don't care.
122
00:05:48,460 --> 00:05:49,739
But you're not in it.
123
00:05:50,900 --> 00:05:53,619
Nowhere in the entire world view?
124
00:05:53,700 --> 00:05:56,299
You have a view of the world
and you can't see me?
125
00:05:57,059 --> 00:05:59,739
- I have to be there somewhere.
- Of course you're in there somewhere.
126
00:05:59,820 --> 00:06:02,179
Just not slap bang in the center.
127
00:06:02,260 --> 00:06:03,580
So where am I?
128
00:06:03,660 --> 00:06:04,979
On a golf course somewhere.
129
00:06:05,059 --> 00:06:06,859
But, you know, I'm not
looking at golf courses.
130
00:06:06,939 --> 00:06:08,059
What are you looking at?
131
00:06:10,820 --> 00:06:11,939
"Tell me,"
132
00:06:13,059 --> 00:06:18,059
"what is it you plan to do with
your one wild and precious life?"
133
00:06:19,299 --> 00:06:21,619
- What?
- It's a poem.
134
00:06:22,100 --> 00:06:24,660
- What is?
- That question.
135
00:06:24,739 --> 00:06:26,660
It comes from a poem
by Mary Oliver.
136
00:06:26,739 --> 00:06:28,020
Okay, and?
137
00:06:28,100 --> 00:06:30,619
It's something I think about a lot.
138
00:06:31,059 --> 00:06:32,100
The question.
139
00:06:32,619 --> 00:06:34,539
What do you plan
to do with your life?
140
00:06:34,619 --> 00:06:38,739
- "Wild and precious life".
- You ask that question?
141
00:06:39,299 --> 00:06:40,460
Yeah, you don't?
142
00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:43,260
- I only just heard it just now.
- But you get the drift.
143
00:06:45,020 --> 00:06:46,939
What am I planning
to do with my life?
144
00:06:47,020 --> 00:06:48,379
- Me?
- Yeah.
145
00:06:49,539 --> 00:06:52,619
I'm 62. I already did it.
I'm retired.
146
00:06:52,700 --> 00:06:53,780
My point exactly.
147
00:06:53,859 --> 00:06:56,059
You think your life is over
because you no longer work.
148
00:06:56,140 --> 00:06:58,660
It's not over.
Gonna play a lot of golf.
149
00:06:59,220 --> 00:07:01,780
And then spend a lot of money
on good food and wine,
150
00:07:01,859 --> 00:07:05,900
I'm going to visit Civil War
battlegrounds and Normandy beaches.
151
00:07:05,979 --> 00:07:08,419
- Which are also battlegrounds.
- I like battlegrounds.
152
00:07:09,100 --> 00:07:13,379
I'm gonna listen to every
jazz record made before 1965.
153
00:07:13,739 --> 00:07:16,020
Gonna take the boat out.
Gonna fish.
154
00:07:16,100 --> 00:07:19,100
Everything is the past or dead.
155
00:07:19,499 --> 00:07:24,739
Civil War, D-Day, Lobo,
the jazz musicians, the fish.
156
00:07:29,299 --> 00:07:33,780
Was there a moment
you decided all this?
157
00:07:33,859 --> 00:07:37,499
You know, one moment you didn't want
a divorce, and next minute you did.
158
00:07:37,580 --> 00:07:39,220
- Yes.
- When was it?
159
00:07:39,299 --> 00:07:40,379
You won't remember.
160
00:07:41,220 --> 00:07:43,220
Try me.
161
00:07:44,140 --> 00:07:46,460
When you wouldn't
come to see "The Wife".
162
00:07:46,780 --> 00:07:47,780
Which wife?
163
00:07:47,859 --> 00:07:50,419
The movie. "The Wife".
Glenn Close.
164
00:07:50,780 --> 00:07:53,220
Seriously? Because
I wouldn't go to see a movie?
165
00:07:53,299 --> 00:07:54,379
Seriously.
166
00:07:54,979 --> 00:07:57,419
- I heard that movie wasn't good.
- You heard no such thing.
167
00:07:57,499 --> 00:08:00,299
You didn't wanna see a movie
called "The Wife".
168
00:08:00,379 --> 00:08:01,460
What did I say?
169
00:08:01,539 --> 00:08:03,820
You said it doesn't sound
like my kind of thing,
170
00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:08,100
yet you knew nothing about it,
apart from the title.
171
00:08:08,179 --> 00:08:10,260
You have to admit,
it wasn't a good title.
172
00:08:10,340 --> 00:08:12,419
What was wrong with it?
It spoke to me.
173
00:08:12,979 --> 00:08:14,260
Those two words? "The wife"?
174
00:08:14,340 --> 00:08:15,939
Yes, "The Wife".
175
00:08:16,020 --> 00:08:17,900
It sounded like
a movie about a woman
176
00:08:17,979 --> 00:08:21,179
who was overshadowed,
taken for granted, anonymous.
177
00:08:21,260 --> 00:08:24,700
Well, I'm sorry for her, but I don't
want to watch a whole movie about her.
178
00:08:24,780 --> 00:08:26,340
Doesn't exactly sound
action-packed.
179
00:08:26,419 --> 00:08:28,379
Well, no.
180
00:08:28,780 --> 00:08:31,979
- One movie, and that was it?
- Yeah.
181
00:08:32,059 --> 00:08:34,139
I mean, that's when
I started thinking about it.
182
00:08:34,220 --> 00:08:37,540
And then it all spooled out from there.
Once it was unspooled, I couldn't...
183
00:08:39,100 --> 00:08:41,220
I went to see "Dunkirk" with you.
184
00:08:41,300 --> 00:08:43,180
I went to see
the "Churchill" movie.
185
00:08:43,259 --> 00:08:45,779
Come on. You didn't want
to see a movie
186
00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:48,300
about the greatest
wartime leaders since Lincoln?
187
00:08:48,379 --> 00:08:50,100
I went. That's the difference.
188
00:08:50,180 --> 00:08:52,019
I saw "The Wife" on my own.
189
00:08:52,580 --> 00:08:53,700
Well, how was it?
190
00:08:54,499 --> 00:08:56,820
Is it streaming yet?
I could catch up.
191
00:08:58,619 --> 00:09:00,180
I'm not sure you can, honey.
192
00:09:01,259 --> 00:09:02,420
Let's go.
14964
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