Original subtitles

[door bell rings]

[interviewer] Hey, Molly. Thanks for having us.

Ready to answer 73 questions?

Is that one of them? Just kidding. Come on in.

[interviewer] Your house is gorgeous. Tell me about it.

Well, I sold my old house. I'm downsizing.

So I donated the proceeds and moved into this little beach cabana.

How many pools do you have here?

Just the five.

Come on in.

[interviewer] Are you excited for the year ahead?

Yes, very. I'm on a complete wellness kick.

Physical, mental, spiritual. That's why I built this koi pond.

[interviewer chuckles] Oh, my God. That's so dope. Do you love koi?

I don't, actually. I'm terrified of fish, but I do love to eat them.

[interviewer] So, what else do you do to stay healthy?

Well, right now, I'm on the Pompeii diet.

I'm eating what the people of Pompeii ate right before they died.

Also, mental health is so important.

That's why I have an emotional support sloth.

[interviewer] Emotional support sloth?

Mm-hmm. Wanna meet him?

[interviewer] Definitely.

Oh, hi, Molly. Do you wanna hold him?

I'd love to.

This is Arnold.

Arnold sleeps 18 hours a night, only three more than me.

[both chuckle]

[inhales sharply] Thank you, Nicholas. I feel so much better.

Of course.

I'm on Instagram, @nicholastheestallion. Penis-outline pics go up on Thursdays.

- Come see the rest of the house. - [interviewer] Lead the way.

Hey there. Did you miss me?

[interviewer] I love your dress. What's your current fashion inspo?

Tibetan monk chic.

[chuckles] Do you do any impressions?

I do a pretty good Jerry Seinfeld at The Gap.

What's the deal with clothes?

- That's it. - [interviewer] So good.

What's that smell?

It's actually my waterbed.

We fill it with chamomile tea every night.

So soothing.

[interviewer] What's your dating life like?

My dating life is on fire.

I have three very important people in my life:

me, myself and I.

Men are totally out.

[interviewer] So, men are out. What's in?

Hmm, nose rings, pickleball, and doing your own laundry.

An herb from my aquaponic herb wall?

Hmm. [spits] I don't know if that one's ready yet.

[interviewer] What's your favorite city?

Margaritaville.

[interviewer] What makes you angry?

Injustice.

And drawstring pants. End of list.

[interviewer] Tell me a secret.

I'll show you a secret.

I have a hidden kitchen.

I keep David Chang in here so he can make me food,

and so I don't have to see him.

[interviewer stammers] Hi, David. What's on the menu?

My son has a soccer game, and I promised I'd go see him.

Men.

[interviewer] So, what's the theme of your year in three words?

Bad-bitch energy.

Oh, look who it is. It's time for my ab workout.

You ready to skate, Molly?

You know it, extreme-sports legend Tony Hawk.

Skateboarding is actually great for my core strength.

Shred to get shredded.

Hell yeah. I'm gonna go extra hard today.

I'm gonna have to put you in my next video game.

Oh, that would be radical.

Well, thanks for visiting.

Be careful of the sloth poop on the way out.

Namaste, y'all.

Come on, Tony. Let's shred.

Yeah. Awesome.

[hip-hop song playing]

[songs ends]

You guys are still here? [chuckles]

Get out of here. [chuckles]

So?

Congratulations, Coz. Forty million views.

Zendaya only got 25 mil for hers.

Really? That's great.

So, are people liking it? What are they saying?

Let's see what's going on down in the comments.

[stammers] "Definitely doesn't look like she's giving away her money."

"Her fish tank's bigger than my house."

"I hope that sloth bites her in the--"

You know what? I'm not gonna read the rest of that.

Well, find me a positive one.

Okay.

Hmm.

Okay, here's one. "Meet Jewish singles in your area.

Guaranteed connection. Shalom!"

Okay. I can understand their frustration.

Let's cool it on the interviews.

Stop telling people your mansion is a cabana.

And why didn't you just get on the skateboard?

They said it was all above the waist.

It's okay. We can fix it by doing what you promised:

Giving away all of your money and helping people. So, let's get started.

- Sorry I'm a little late, everybody. - Oh, no problem.

Let's start with the impact report on the Alameda Street housing site.

We have a meeting with the deputy mayor--

Sofia, shut up. Everybody, shut up. Stop the meeting.

Arthur, what the hell is on your wrist?

[gasps] Oh, this? This is a bracelet.

I picked it up over in Venice Beach.

Some real characters down there,

- if you've never been. - [chuckles]

What are those symbols?

[Arthur] Oh, this is a guitar, and this is a peace sign.

Why would-- Why-- Why-- [stammers] Why are you doing this?

I don't know.

I love peace, and I've always been a big music fan.

I mean, nothing too loud or rhythmic.

Who told you, you could wear that?

What's the big deal? It's just a bracelet.

My youth pastor used to wear leather bracelets.

Well, until he got "relocated." [chuckles]

There's a whole Netflix documentary about it.

It's called Murder Church.

I'm in that documentary.

Okay, guys, enough about the bracelet.

Arthur is free to wear whatever he would like. Let's just--

Goddamn it. Is that a turquoise star?

Oh, yes. Turquoise represents cosmic unity.

Oh, my God. I have to go. We have to go. I have to leave.

- I have to go home. - Okay. Let's get you home.

- I can't-- - Let's get you into a bath.

All right.

Okay. Meeting's over, I guess.

I'll just handle everything myself. [chuckles]

[gasps]

What is going on? Who sent all of these? [chuckles]

[cell phone buzzing]

Oh, fuck.

Hey, did you get the flowers?

Yes, John, I got them.

Had 'em flown in from Bhutan.

Guy I got 'em from said they're the last ones in the world.

They're extinct now. Anyway, how are you, babe?

You need to stop sending me stuff. We're not doing this.

What happened in Corsica was a mistake.

How can you call that night a mistake? We made love three times.

It was two and a half.

The last one was... [whispers] ...mostly hand stuff.

I meant everything I said to you that night.

Hailey and I are over.

That night was a sign that you and I are meant for each other.

All I remember from that night is being traumatized

from drinking shit water.

Hey, you don't have to hide behind the shit water.

Look, the two of us will always be connected. Why fight that?

I don't wanna just be your ex-wife. I want my own identity.

Well, I'm not gonna give up on us. Tell me what you want from me. Anything.

I want you to stop doing what you're doing and give me space.

Okay. My therapist said I need to work on my listening skills,

so... I hear what you're saying.

Goodbye, John.

Bye. Love you.

Love you too. Damn it! I didn't mean that last--

[sighs]

[whines, shouts]

Shit.

Arthur, Nicholas and I would like to speak with you.

It's very important.

[both clearing throat]

Now, we're only here because we care about you.

We wouldn't be doing this otherwise.

- It's just, that bracelet-- - It's an obvious cry for help.

I mean, is someone forcing you to wear it?

Is this a Saw situation? Does Jigsaw have your daughter?

Fellas, I appreciate the concern, but the bracelet is a positive thing.

It's a symbol of a new life philosophy.

I saw it, I wanted it, and so I bought it. I didn't hesitate.

I mean, look at it. It's totally fire.

[groans]

Is this about what happened in Corsica?

Is this because you didn't get a chance to talk to Molly before John swooped in

on his helicopter... [whispers] ...and had sex with her?

No, it is not about that.

I wasn't myself in Corsica.

The wine, the salty fish.

I watched Moulin Rouge! on the plane.

I wasn't thinking clearly.

All that Molly stuff was just a symptom of a bigger problem,

- which I've now solved. - Mmm.

I am living life at full speed. No regrets.

Oh, my God. I should get that embossed on the bracelet.

I have never been more worried about a person in my life.

Listen, just don't wear it at work, okay?

'Cause otherwise, I'll have to quit,

and I just got used to being around people who look like you.

I am seeing things clearer than I ever have.

I just do what I want.

And what I wanna do right now is, for the first time in my life,

try a cranberry scone.

[chuckles]

Oh, God. I do not care for that.

It's wet and dry.

And spicy.

[mouthing words] Spicy?

[Sofia] Oh, no, no, no, no, no, you can't-- you can't do this.

We've been working on this thing for seven years!

I do not agree to disagree.

I will not take care. You j--

[shrieks]

What's wrong? Did they get our Panera order wrong again?

That was the mayor's office.

They're canceling the Alameda Street project completely.

What?

Something about polling a different agenda,

more "business-friendly." Blah, blah, blah.

We need the city's permission to build anything.

Bottom line is, we are fucked.

I don't understand.

We were supposed to announce it with them tomorrow.

Well, now they're going to announce that they're not doing it.

Oh, my God. We are fucked. I thought you were exaggerating.

Uh, Panera just called. They're out of bread bowls.

[both] Fuck!

Alameda Street was our signature project.

I just told everyone I was giving away all my money.

- Dramatically. - On television.

If we don't figure out a plan B quickly, you're going to lose all credibility!

Okay, we are agreeing even though we're yelling at each other!

All right. I just need to breathe.

[breathes deeply] I'm breathing.

[inhales deeply] This is me breathing.

- Okay. [exhales deeply] I'm good. - Okay.

I'm good now.

We are going to figure this out together.

I want you to get everyone into the conference room

for a gathering thing--

You know, like a group talk session, like--

Are you trying to say the word "meeting"?

Yes, that's it. That's the word.

This is not a good start.

Okay, guys. We have 22 hours to come up with a new idea

that will help unhoused people,

can't be stopped by bureaucracy,

and ideally would change the world and make Bono write a song about us.

How about we sue the city and force them to let us house people?

I know a really awesome lawyer.

He helped me out after one of my calf implants deflated.

Well, don't look, Rhonda.

[Sofia] That won't work.

We don't want to make the city our enemy if we don't have to.

Okay. What if we use space outside the city?

I mean, there is some beautiful land out in Fontana.

R-Right by where they found all those dead bodies.

We can't be busing people hours away from where they wanna live. [chuckles]

W-What if we put them on a monorail like the one at Disneyland?

What exactly is a monorail?

I only know it as another word for masturbation.

Okay. More ideas, people. We need more ideas.

This is a brainstorming session. No idea is too stupid.

Oh, I got it.

What if we just hire some soldiers?

Some real badass mercenary types with names like Fudge and Pork Chop.

Then we take over a section of downtown and declare it our own country.

Then we can help whoever we want, however we want,

because there are no rules in Mollyville.

Alternate name: Howardistan.

I take it back. There actually are some stupid ideas.

[sighs, breathes deeply]

- How are you doing? - Not great.

- I have an idea. - Thank God.

Have you ever heard of Noah Hope-DeVore?

I think so. Is he that AI investor guy?

Yeah, he took all that money he made and started doing this.

[presenter] It's called analytic altruism.

Noah Hope-DeVore funneled his billions into HOPE 2.0,

an online philanthropy platform he designed.

Hope-DeVore uses an algorithm

to effect the greatest amount of good for the greatest number of people.

Each mosquito net is two dollars.

600 nets can save one child and prevent a thousand cases of malaria.

It's the most statistically optimal way to save lives.

[Noah] And the really cool thing is we can take that logic,

and we can apply it to every other problem in the world too.

Hope-DeVore's mission has some famous fans.

LeBron James, Madonna and all four Black Eyed Peas.

Wow. He got Fergie. That guy does sound pretty smart.

You know, I'm on the record as not trusting billionaires,

but I think he might be able to help.

Do you think that Noah would want to work with us?

Maybe. He's a little reclusive, but I'll try to set up a meeting.

We can do it at my house.

I'll have the best food, the best wine.

[presenter] Don't look for any traditional office chairs in Hope-DeVore's workspace.

He prefers beanbags.

- And the finest beanbags. - Hmm.

["Big Energy" playing]

[exhales sharply] Ooh, I could get used to this.

It's like I'm sitting in a boob.

Howard, stop that. Noah doesn't wanna sit on a hot beanbag. That's gross.

This is one of the smartest guys in the world,

so let's all be on our best behavior.

Well, personally, I'm just excited to have another numbers guy in the mix.

Oh, do you know what kind of spreadsheet software he uses?

No, don't tell me. I want to be surprised.

[sighs] Everyone, this is Noah Hope-DeVore.

Noah. Molly Wells. So great to meet you.

Thank you for agreeing to meet with us so quickly.

Are you kidding me? Thank you guys. It's so unchill out there right now.

There's so few people like us

who are actually trying to use our resources for good.

I was actually just saying this to Sandy Bullock.

- Oh, my God. He called her Sandy. - [whispering] I know.

- That means they're friends. - I know.

I know we haven't formally agreed to work together yet,

but let's start a dialogue.

I got some ideas I'd really like to share with you guys.

- Does anybody have a whiteboard? - I do. Yeah, in my car.

- I've never seen him run so quickly. - [Molly, Noah chuckle]

So obviously, the mathematics here get a little technical,

but this is the modeling I put together for our Africa project.

We optimized crop distribution

- by population density. - And did that work?

We reduced hunger by 35% in our pilot region.

And do you think your model could work for us?

Can I ask you something personal?

How much are you prepared to invest?

All of it. All 120 billion.

Wow. In-- In that case, definitely.

- Can I just say how fucking cool this is? - [chuckles]

You're really walking the walk.

Seriously. Can we give it up for her?

- Yeah, Coz. [laughs] - [Noah] I mean, it's incredible.

- A disrupter. - [chuckling]

Oh, well-- Well, thank you very much.

I think I speak for all of us when I say we're in.

- Yes. - [all laughing]

- Thank you, Noah. - Thank you.

[agent] FBI! Put your hands in the air, now!

[all clamoring]

- [helicopter approaching] - [agent] FBI!

Let's see your hands!

- [grunts] - [Howard] O-Oh.

What the hell is going on?

Noah Hope-DeVore, you're under arrest for wire fraud,

wire fraud conspiracy, security fraud and money laundering.

I took a CBD gummy last night!

I'm trying to be more interesting.

This is crazy. Why are you all so hot?

- Everyone just calm down. - [agent speaks indistinctly]

This has got to be a mistake.

[sobbing] No, it's not. I-I did it. I messed up.

That isn't even real math.

You have such a beautiful home. I'm so sorry. [sobs]

Ow, you're pinching me. Those are sharp.

- Hey. - Hi.

How are you doing?

- I've been better. - Mmm, yeah.

Not only was Noah not a genius,

he was actually a criminal who stole about $50 billion.

And so, all that algorithm stuff was just--

- Total bullshit. - [scoffs]

I can't believe someone would use math for evil.

I almost gave that guy $120 billion.

Boy, I sure know how to pick 'em.

Well, you can't blame yourself for that.

Can't I, though? I mean, look at my track record.

First John, then Jean-Pierre, then this guy.

Yeah, but it wasn't just you. I mean, we all fell for it.

I'm just afraid that if I can't pull off what I promised,

all I'm ever going to be known for is being some rich guy's ex-wife.

You are not just someone's ex-wife.

And you've got a better head on your shoulders

than people give you credit for.

I know that, and everybody that works here knows it too.

Well, thank you.

I always feel better after I talk to you.

[chuckles] I think I know why.

It's the bracelet.

It's got an owl on it for wisdom.

I don't think so. It was that way before the bracelet.

In fact, I would argue that you should cut it off

and throw it directly into the ocean.

It sucks so bad.

- It's so ugly. [laughs] - [chuckles]

[Arthur] You should see the bucket hat that came with it.

[Molly] What?

[breathing deeply]

[alarm beeping]

Denzel? Denzel?

Howard?

What are you doing here?

Oh, Cousin Molly, have you seen a lizard that answers to the name Denzel?

I named him after Denzel Washington, star of The Bone Collector.

I know who Denzel Washington is. And why would you pick that movie?

I don't know what movies you watch.

What are you doing here?

Well, you know, I could ask you the same question.

I live here!

Okay, that's a very good answer.

What is going on here?

What is all this stuff?

I have a very reasonable,

completely understandable explanation for all of this.

I've been secretly living in your guesthouse

for a few weeks and never told you.

What?

What's up, Molly?

Okay. Who the fuck is this?

Who the fuck are you?

[Howard] Oh, this is Reginald.

He's been crashing at my place for a while.

You don't have a place. This is my place.

Are you who I should talk to about the Wi-Fi?

Because that shit's slow as hell.

I mean, my Twitch followers, they can't handle the lag.

Reginald, are you wearing my pants?

[Howard] After I broke up with Tanya, she just moved out.

Left me holding the bag on everything financially,

and I couldn't afford rent on my own.

Definitely couldn't afford a down payment.

So, I was stuck.

And embarrassed.

So, you know, even though I'm much younger than you,

you look up to me as a mentor.

Okay, I don't think that word means what you think it does.

Howard, I'm your family.

I will give you whatever you need to get back on your feet.

No. Oh, no, you will not. I won't take a dime from you.

I will stay here for as long as it takes.

I mean, it could be weeks, months, years even.

Oh, boy.

I mean, you don't know how bad it is out there.

I'm just lucky I got a rich cousin that's got all this space

nobody was even using.

I mean, half this place was just sitting empty.

So, I just thought it made sense, you know?

Hmm.

Now that you know I'm living here,

I'm gonna go use one of those bathrooms in the main house.

I need to know what they're like.

They have heated seats. They're incredible.

[chuckling] Oh, I knew it. Thank you, Coz. I love you.

["Let Me Blow Ya Mind" playing]

Sofia, I had such a good idea last night, I had to come in early.

Well, it's 11:15, but what is it?

So, there's not enough affordable housing in LA.

We know that. We tried to build more,

but because of all the red tape, we couldn't do it.

So, what if we use what's already there?

- Okay. - There's tons of space.

I looked this up last night.

In Downtown LA alone, there's, like, ten empty hotels just sitting there.

No one is using them.

So, what if I bought them and opened them up to unhoused people?

Just said, "You need help? You can live here for free."

Could we do that?

I mean, if you bought those properties, they're yours,

you can do whatever you want with them.

[stammers] I think that could work.

We could put career centers in them, health clinics... [stammers] ...childcare.

It would be free housing and a resource hub.

Wait a minute. Did I actually have a good idea?

Holy shit. I think you just did.

Ooh, we could call it, "Space for Everyone."

- I love that name. [chuckles] - Sofia, I think I feel a hug coming on.

Well, just one. It'll be a business hug.

Okay. [giggles]

This is also personal for me. I'm counting it.

Oh, w-- [sighs] There are a million issues to work through

and a bunch of people who will probably try to stop us,

but, Molly, I think this was the idea we needed.

Oh, my gosh. Actually, I had another idea last night.

A Starbucks, but for broths.

Let's stick to the first idea.

Yes. Yes. Yep.

Ooh, we could call it "The Brothel."

I like that.

["Can I Kick It?" playing]

[Molly] Hey, what's going on?

Okay. Before you look at the TV, take all of your Ativan.

[gasps]

I've spent my whole life pushing boundaries.

Through my companies, I was able to change the world.

But now, I want to change the universe.

So, in a couple months, I'll be leading our Novak Aeronautics team into space.

Oh, shit.

And I just wanna take a moment to thank the person

who inspired me to embark on this adventure.

The person who taught me how to listen and how to dream.

Molly, this is for you.

[cell phone buzzes]

["The Next Episode" playing]

Motherfu--