Original subtitles

And now, it's time once again for Ask Mister Lizard.

Hey, Timmy, how'd you like to learn about geothermal energy?

Geo what?

Geothermal. That's the energy from deep inside the Earth.

- Wow. - It's not easy to see.

So it's lucky for us we have an active volcano right here in the lab.

Wow. I wanna take a closer look.

We're gonna need another Timmy.

Whoa there, Timmy. Safety first.

Here in the lab we always use our protective safety goggles.

Oh.

Aw, Jeez.

One of those cranky parent groups must have gotten to them.

And not a moment too soon. I've never liked this program.

Yeah, yeah. Go answer the door.

Wow! I don't see any geothermal energy.

- When's it gonna start? - Well, Timmy,

- nature has her own schedule. - Oh.

But let's see if we can't give her a little nudge.

We're gonna need another Timmy.

Earl, there's someone at the door.

Tell 'em I'm busy. I'm sharing a quality moment with my TV.

- Hey. - And the kid.

It's Pearl.

- Your sister. - Pearl?

Your sister.

No, it can't be. Go check again.

I think I know your sister when I see her.

Do you? Oh, well, you got a better memory than I do

because I'd completely forgotten I had a sister.

I'm not even sure I'd recognize her.

Why, Earl Sinclair.

Lordy, brother, have you gotten fat.

Honey, I'm home.

Aaah!

- Ohh! - Ow!

- Ow! - Ooh!

Aah!

Earl, aren't you going to say hello to your sister?

- Hi. - What makes you so sure she is my sister?

We haven't seen her in 15 years. She could be an imposter.

I wanna see some ID, lady.

And I wanna see my new nephew.

Hello, pumpkin.

Who are you?

I'm your auntie, Pearl.

- And look what I got just for you. - Ooh!

Think some cheap toy you bought from an airport

can make up for the years of neglect?

You can't just walk in here and buy a child's love.

- I love you, Auntie Pearl. - Oh.

Well, it's been a swell reunion.

Let's do it again in 15 years. See ya.

- Earl, can I talk to you for a moment? - There's nothing to talk about.

- Get in here, Earl. - Uh... Yes, puddin'.

- Vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom... - I sure wish he wasn't so mad at me.

Give him a toy.

Oh, I think it's gonna take a lot more than that, sugar.

More than a toy?! Wow.

I can't believe you like her.

- Check out how she dresses. - Well, bless my soul.

I bet these two wholesome young'uns must be Robbie and Charlene.

Oh, give me a hug.

- Who are you? - Yeah.

They told us at school not to hug strangers.

Yeah, there was a special assembly.

Heck, I'm no stranger. I'm your aunt Pearl.

Your dad's sister.

He did tell you about me, didn't he?

- Aunt Pearl... Aunt Pearl... - Um, I don't... Uh...

Oh! Oh, yeah. When did you get out of prison?

He told you I was in jail?

He said you were either dead or in prison, so I...

Oh, your dad has got some imagination.

Not really.

Hey... Is that your guitar?

- Why, sure. That's why I'm here. - Oh.

Gonna be serenading the barflies all week down at the Buckin' Bronto.

- You're a singer?! Wow! - Yep.

Are you sure you're related to Dad?

Oh, come on. Don't tell me you can't see the family resemblance.

Yeah, I guess you look like him a little. Oh, no offense.

Pearl.

Your brother has something he'd like to say.

Get out of my house.

Oh! Uh...

Oh, I just remembered that we've always taught our kids

to treat every member of the family with love and respect.

- Actually, what you said was... - Shut up, I'm talking.

So, since I don't want to set a bad example for my kids...

or give up certain activities...

I've decided you don't have to leave.

And I'd like to extend a very warm and heartfelt welcome.

Well, thank you for that gracious country greeting.

I'd like to reciprocate by invitin' y'all

to come see me at the Bronto tonight.

Oh.

- Oh, yeah. - Can we go?

To a sleazy honky-tonk, full of barflies and floozies,

where liquor is cheap and life is cheaper?

- So that's a "yes"? - Oh, sorry. It's a school night.

Cut 'em some slack, Earl.

- Yeah. - You can bend the rules just this once.

- Yeah. - Well, there it is, Fran.

Pearl's philosophy on life:

Rules are made to be broken. If it feels good, do it.

Follow your dreams. Live life to the fullest.

- What's wrong with that? - What's wrong with that is...

is... You're not going out tonight!

- That's unreasonable. - Life's unreasonable.

And as long as I'm your father and Pearl isn't,

it's going to stay unreasonable.

Now, go and do your homework.

Aw, jeez.

I suppose Dad's right. It's a school night. Homework comes first.

- Yeah. - Huh.

- Who had the root beer? - Oh. Over here.

- And here you go. - Oh, uh, thanks.

Thanks.

And put away those books. You're in an unsavory dive.

- Act like it. - Oh, yeah. Right.

Yech.

I just love your new hat!

Hey, you made it!

I can't believe his highness changed his mind.

- Well... - Uh, yeah.

Well, I guess Dad realized he was being selfish and unfair.

Oh. You snuck out, didn't you?

Yeah.

Well, don't fret on it. I won't snitch.

Heck, I'm just flattered you took such a big chance to come see me sing.

- Aw. - Well...

Robbie? Charlene?

Hey, you kids better have a darn good reason for being here on a school night.

- Uh... - Uh, we do.

Oh, good. I'm sorry to come down on you so hard.

Hey, tiger. Have we met?

Dah... Duh... Bah...

I reckon not, 'cause I'm sure I'd remember a cute rascal like you.

Oh, uh, this is Dad's sister.

I'm Pearl.

And I'm, uh...

Um, Aunt Pearl, I've seen this before.

It's gonna be a while before he gets to his name.

Well, uh, I gotta get on stage.

But, I tell you what, darling,

you save some of that sparkling conversation for after the show, OK.

Yi, yi, yi, me, no, nay, nay, neh...

Good luck. Break a leg.

And now, the Buckin' Bronto is proud to present

the very first lady of country music, Pearl Sinclair.

Howdy!

Roy. Dah! Roy Hess.

Uh, where'd she go?

- Up there. - Duh... Huh?

Hey. This is a little tune I wrote that sort of tells my story.

♪ I've played honky-tonks in soggy swamps

♪ Steak joints and lagoons

♪ Neckin' with the big boys

♪ Down in country-style saloons

♪ In one town there was Willie

♪ A sad-eyed herbivore

♪ When I tried to pin him down

♪ That leaf-eater hit the door

♪ I still have dreams of Danny

♪ He's a bronto from my past

♪ But four-leggers run twice as fast

♪ I'm feelin' low and sinkin' slow

♪ No way to rise above

♪ My sticky situation

♪ In the tar pit of love

♪ I'm slippin' down below the ground

♪ That I'll soon be part of

♪ My dreams just gooey bubbles

♪ On the tar pit of love

♪ Ooh ♪

Oh, thank you.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Gosh, it was like she was singin' just to me.

Ooh.

Now do you see what I mean?

Where Pearl Sinclair goes, trouble follows.

You want trouble, call Pearl. Pearl equals trouble.

- Look up trouble in the dictionary... - I get it, Earl!

But, let's not be hasty.

We don't know for a fact she told the kids to disobey you.

It doesn't matter, she provided the temptation.

This wouldn't have happened if she wasn't here in the first place.

That's not fair, Earl. By your reasoning,

if I cheat on my diet because there's cake in the fridge,

you'd blame the cake.

There's cake?

- Oh. - Thanks a lot for comin', guys.

It meant a lot to me havin' you there.

Never thought I'd say this, but the cake'll have to wait.

Let's be quiet. We don't want to wake up Dad.

- He's awake. - Busted.

So, you two minors have a nice time bar-hopping?

Now, tiny, if you gotta be mad at somebody, it might as well be me.

That's pretty much what I had in mind. And don't call me tiny.

Earl, all they were doing was listening to a little music.

Tonight.

But next, they'll wanna join a band

and travel from town to town like gypsies.

Living on the road, one step ahead of the law,

meeting colorful rogues and scalawags and getting into all kinds of scrapes.

Gee, I was thinking about college but this sounds better.

Would any of these scalawags be, like... cute boys?

You hear that?

You've corrupted them. Now I want you out of my house and out of our lives.

Oh, why don't you lighten up?

- Yeah. - Lighten up?

Oh... You kids would like that, wouldn't you?

You'd like it if I acted like Pearl.

Sashay into town, sing a few songs, give everybody a good time.

You'd all just love that.

- It'd be a big improvement. - Yeah. We'd like you better.

- Sounds exciting. - Yeah.

Well, Pearl. I hope you're satisfied.

You've successfully turned my family against me.

- Huh? - Your work here is done.

I'm not turning anybody against you, Earl.

You've done that all by yourself.

Huh.

Uh...

- You can't be in love with Pearl. - But I am in love with her.

No, you can't be. You just met her.

Yeah, I know.

But somehow, when I look at her, I feel like I'm with an old friend.

She's exotic, yet somehow strangely familiar.

- You're just caught in a romantic haze, Roy. - Yeah.

- But don't be fooled. - Huh?

When Pearl's finished with you, she'll drop you like a two-foot putt.

You're wrong, Earl. Pearl wants to settle down.

She told me so last night, in song.

Believe me, she'll run out on you.

How do you know?

Because she ran out on me.

Well, I guess you had it coming.

You should never have been dating your own sister.

- Will you shut up and listen?! - Huh?

She didn't just run out on me.

She ran out on the whole family.

She's selfish and irresponsible.

You know, when you talk,

your nose crinkles just like Pearl's.

Fine. Fine, go ahead.

Fall in love with my sister. Make the biggest mistake of your life.

Oh, thanks, Earl. I didn't wanna proceed without your blessing.

♪ He waved goodbye and threw me out

♪ All I said was "Fine"

♪ 'Cause when your ex is a big T-Rex You move on down the line

- Woo! - ♪ Or his big, long teeth go chomp

- ♪ His big, long teeth go chomp - Uh-huh.

♪ And his big, fat feet go stomp

♪ His big, fat feet go stomp

- ♪ Chomp - ♪ Chomp

- ♪ Stomp - ♪ Stomp

♪ Ain't no use in crying

♪ 'Cause when your ex is a big T-Rex

- ♪ You move on down the line ♪ - ♪ Move on down the line ♪

- Yeah! - Yeah.

- All right. - Uh-huh.

You know, Aunt Pearl, Roy Hess happens to be a big T-Rex.

Yeah, that's true, but somehow, I figure a sweet fellow like that

wouldn't have the heart to throw me out.

Or the arms.

Hey, now, wouldn't that be a hoot

if I got married and settled down here.

Now wouldn't that put a knot in Earl's britches.

Yeah, all the more reason to do it.

Yeah, Dad's been a real jerk lately.

He's no fun. I want you to be my daddy.

Oh. Now, I know you mean that in a sweet way.

No I don't.

Your dad's got his reasons for being the way he is.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

You see, when our daddy, your grandpa, died,

Earl dropped out of school and worked as a tree pusher to support Mama.

Oh. Well, where were you?

I wanted to be a singer more than anything.

So I left home to pursue my dreams

and a rodeo clown named Buttons.

But that's a story for another time.

Anyway, your father's never forgiven me

for leaving him at home to care for Mama all by his self.

Hearing you tell it makes me want to know more.

Oh, yeah, your daddy's a fascinating fella all right.

Not Dad. He's dull as dirt.

- Tell us more about Buttons. - Yeah.

Well, OK. Once...

Yeah.

♪ I've been searching the supercontinent

♪ For a lizard like you

♪ Someone to share my prey with

♪ Like those loving lizards do

♪ With your big, long tail

♪ And those dark, brown scales

♪ How could I ever be blue?

♪ With a lizard like you

You cuddly carnivore, you.

♪ So lately I've been dreaming

♪ Someday you're gonna see

♪ A mate that you've been waiting for could be

♪ A lizard like me

- ♪ You've got teeth galore and that - ♪ Teeth galore

- ♪ Mighty roar - ♪ Mighty roar

♪ But you'd never ever tear me in two

♪ Not a lizard like you

♪ A lizard like you ♪

You come sit by me.

Oh, yeah! You were great! Great!

- Yeah, great. - Thank you.

Thank you so much.

That was wonderful, Pearl.

Well, I have someone wonderful to inspire me.

Really? Who?

Who? Like you really don't know.

Lordy, you make me laugh.

Pearl, I just want you to know, this has been the greatest week of my life,

with the exception of Space Camp.

I have a feeling that tonight I'm gonna give Space Camp a run for its money.

Ah-hah. That's the most romantic thing I ever heard.

Now, kiss me like you've never kissed a girl before.

Oh, well, funny you should say that. Um...

Uh...

Come on, sugar.

Mmm.

Aaah!

Hey, what's a matter? Don't you wanna kiss me?

Um... Uh...

Roy, what's wrong?

Uh... I gotta go. I'm... I'm sorry.

You're very nice but something a little...

too familiar about this and, uh...

my stomach hurts.

Oh, boy. Roy, don't go.

I'm sorry if I came on too strong.

Oh.

♪ No way to rise above

♪ My sticky situation In the tar pit of love

♪ I'm slippin down below the ground...

Who's here this time of night?

How you doin', Earl?

Jeez.

Look, I just came to say goodbye.

Yeah, right on schedule.

The minute Roy told me he was falling for you

I knew you'd be packing your bags.

Instead of settling down and doing the responsible thing for once in your life

you dumped him, like you dumped Buttons, the rodeo clown

and all the other poor saps who followed in his big, floppy footsteps.

I didn't dump Roy.

He dumped me.

Roy dumped you?

- Yeah. - Why?

You got me.

All I know is I can't stay around here, around Roy.

It just hurts too much.

So you're just gonna run away again? Like you did from me and Mom?

Now, look, I know you've had some bad years, Earl.

But you've got a good family. You've got three beautiful kids.

You've ended up with a pretty good life.

Yeah, you're darn right I did.

Because I didn't have to be onstage somewhere,

chasing some stupid dream.

Feeling the warmth of the spotlight on my face,

my hands flying over the strings of my guitar,

my heart racing with the music,

driving the audience into a frenzy,

rivaled only by the steamy throes of passion!

Um... did it suddenly get hot in here?

Well, my Lord, you're jealous.

That's why you're so sore at me.

- Jealous? - Yeah.

- Me? - Mm-hm.

Oh, that's funny. Ha ha ha.

Hey, you sure you're a singer and not a comedian? 'Cause that's really funny.

You know, I just realized something.

Do me a favor, Earl, and come down to the club tomorrow night.

And bring the family.

I thought you were leaving.

Just be there by eight. It's important.

So, I guess what we're saying, Dad, is that

we always used to complain that you were such a drag and a killjoy,

but now we understand why you're so boring and bitter

and narrow-minded, uh...

Sis, help me out here. I thought I was on my way to a compliment.

Oh, what Robbie is trying to say, Dad,

is that we used to be angry at you, but now we just pity you.

And about time.

Let's have another warm welcome

for the gal who was country before the planet was cool,

- Miss Pearl Sinclair. - Yeah!

Thank you. Thank you very much.

You know, last night I wrote a new song,

which I have right here.

And after I wrote it I realized I'd written a duet.

So I'm gonna need a little help.

- And she calls herself a professional. - Shh.

So I'd like to ask my brother, Earl,

if he'd come up here and help me.

Uh...

Come on, Earl, you sing in the shower every morning.

Mom, don't encourage him!

Remember, you're the boring, responsible one.

You don't sing in public.

- No. - Please.

Thanks for speaking up, son.

Your lack of confidence in me is the encouragement I need.

- Yeah. - No!

- Dad, don't do it! - Oh.

This is my brother, Earl.

A long time ago, he did something pretty important for me

that I never thanked him for.

Well, this song is my way of saying thank you, big brother.

I know it's a little late, but it's from the heart.

Oh! I can't watch.

♪ Some of us are trees

♪ Rooted in the ground

♪ Some of us are leaves

- ♪ That the breeze blows all around - Yeah.

♪ I've always been a leaf

♪ Traveling fast and free

♪ But fsometimes how I wish

♪ I were meant to be a tree

Oh!

♪ I was born an oak

♪ The mightiest of trees

♪ But I envied every leaf

♪ Floating gently on the breeze

♪ And then a leaf explained

♪ We're really just the same

♪ We share a single life

♪ Though we go by different names

♪ So if the winds grew strong

♪ And we can't stay together

♪ I hope you won't forget

♪ You're part of me

♪ Forever

Yay!

Thank you. Thanks.

Daddy!

♪ Forever ♪

♪ Well, it's hard to love a reptile

♪ Who's got a roving eye

♪ And this is where I'm gonna draw the line

♪ Well, you promised you'd behave

♪ Then I saw you in her cave

♪ You've been playing around with hers instead of mine

♪ Leave her tail alone Leave her tail alone

♪ It broke my heart when I saw hers wrapped around your own

♪ Leave her tail alone Leave her tail alone

♪ I'm telling you to leave her tail alone ♪