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Good evening.
I'm Dr. Elliot Piaget,
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noted child psychologist.
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00:00:06,273 --> 00:00:08,040
Tonight's episode of Dinosaurs
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00:00:08,142 --> 00:00:11,510
examines one of the most
terrifying ordeals of child rearing:
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00:00:11,612 --> 00:00:14,146
the terrible twos.
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00:00:14,248 --> 00:00:16,681
As those of you who
have small children know,
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00:00:16,783 --> 00:00:20,785
the second year of a child's
development is no day at the beach,
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00:00:20,888 --> 00:00:22,654
so be warned.
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00:00:22,756 --> 00:00:26,191
What you are about to see
tonight may shock, appall
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00:00:26,293 --> 00:00:28,027
and scare the
daylights out of you.
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00:00:28,129 --> 00:00:31,296
That being said,
sit back and relax
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00:00:31,399 --> 00:00:35,434
as Baby Sinclair
enters the terrible twos.
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00:00:44,612 --> 00:00:45,944
Oh, good, Mother, you're here.
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00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:47,858
You can help me
with the baby's party.
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00:00:47,882 --> 00:00:51,116
Oh, boy. Another
kid's birthday party.
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00:00:51,218 --> 00:00:55,186
I guess as a grandma I'm supposed
to get all lathered up over this,
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00:00:55,289 --> 00:00:58,590
and yet somehow
I'm strangely calm.
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00:00:58,692 --> 00:01:01,893
Would you look in the drawer
and see if you find two candles?
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00:01:01,996 --> 00:01:05,096
- Two? Why two?
- It's the baby's second
birthday.
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00:01:05,198 --> 00:01:07,332
Run! Everybody, run!
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00:01:07,434 --> 00:01:10,268
- Mother, where are you going?
- She's on her way out, Fran.
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00:01:10,370 --> 00:01:12,470
It's a good instinct.
Let her go with it.
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00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:15,340
Why are you leaving?
You'll miss the party.
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00:01:15,442 --> 00:01:18,243
The second birthday's
no cause for a party.
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00:01:18,345 --> 00:01:21,346
- Hmm?
- The baby is entering his...
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00:01:21,449 --> 00:01:23,615
terrible twos.
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00:01:25,719 --> 00:01:28,220
- Terrible twos?
- Yes.
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00:01:28,322 --> 00:01:32,357
A strange, evil
force grips the child,
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00:01:32,459 --> 00:01:36,595
transforming him into a
deranged, destructive monster
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00:01:36,697 --> 00:01:39,664
capable of unspeakable horrors.
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00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:44,470
This is a dark, terrible day.
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00:01:44,572 --> 00:01:46,771
And we were gonna ask
you to jump out of the cake.
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00:01:46,873 --> 00:01:50,242
The terrible twos.
That's an old wives' tale.
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00:01:50,344 --> 00:01:52,644
So what do I look
like, a debutante?
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00:01:52,746 --> 00:01:56,381
Think back, Fran. You've
gone through this twice before.
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00:01:56,483 --> 00:01:58,683
Robbie, and then Charlene.
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00:01:58,785 --> 00:02:00,418
Well, let me see.
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00:02:00,521 --> 00:02:05,390
I remember making little
decorative 2s for the birthday cakes...
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00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:09,641
and then they were
three years old.
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00:02:09,730 --> 00:02:13,297
That's funny. I've no
recollection of that entire year.
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00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:14,465
Fran, let me try.
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00:02:14,568 --> 00:02:17,201
Uh, I was sneaking
a taste of the icing
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00:02:17,303 --> 00:02:19,938
from Robbie's
second birthday cake...
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00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:24,509
and then it was this morning.
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00:02:24,611 --> 00:02:25,944
Did I miss anything, Fran?
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00:02:26,046 --> 00:02:27,646
Oh, jeez.
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00:02:27,748 --> 00:02:32,050
That's odd. Neither of us has any
recollection of the children being two.
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00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:35,720
It was so traumatic and
horrible you blocked it out,
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00:02:35,823 --> 00:02:39,024
and now it's gonna happen again.
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00:02:39,126 --> 00:02:41,025
Be afraid.
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00:02:41,127 --> 00:02:43,861
Be very afraid.
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00:02:43,963 --> 00:02:49,834
♪ Happy birthday dear Baby ♪
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00:02:49,936 --> 00:02:53,104
♪ Happy birthday ♪
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00:02:53,206 --> 00:02:57,041
- ♪ To you ♪
- ♪ To me ♪
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00:03:04,918 --> 00:03:08,487
OK, son, time to
blow out the candles.
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00:03:12,660 --> 00:03:14,126
Baby!
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00:03:21,969 --> 00:03:25,436
Yum. Devil's food.
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00:03:55,568 --> 00:03:57,835
Honey, I'm home.
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00:04:03,477 --> 00:04:04,943
Aaah!
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00:04:06,546 --> 00:04:07,991
- Ohh!
- Ow!
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00:04:08,015 --> 00:04:10,615
- Ow!
- Ooh!
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00:04:10,717 --> 00:04:12,317
Aah!
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00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:25,463
I want my presents!
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00:04:25,565 --> 00:04:28,199
I want my presents now!
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00:04:28,301 --> 00:04:30,268
It's coming, sweetheart.
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00:04:30,370 --> 00:04:32,270
Earl, we can't hold
him off much longer.
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00:04:32,372 --> 00:04:36,241
Just a few more minutes. These
things don't assemble themselves.
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00:04:36,343 --> 00:04:37,742
Do they?
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00:04:37,845 --> 00:04:40,612
For a dollar more the
store would've done it.
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00:04:40,714 --> 00:04:44,616
A dollar? Forget it! Aaah!
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00:04:45,886 --> 00:04:48,954
I'm the birthday boy!
Give me presents!
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00:04:49,056 --> 00:04:51,390
You got any ideas?
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00:04:51,492 --> 00:04:53,403
Well, there's a thing
I made in shop class.
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00:04:53,427 --> 00:04:55,304
I don't know if he'll
appreciate it or not.
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00:04:55,328 --> 00:04:57,295
- Presents!
- Get it!
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00:04:57,398 --> 00:04:59,698
- OK, OK.
- Now, now, now, now, now, now!
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00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,700
So, uh, sweetheart...
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00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:03,535
Let's play a... a game.
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00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:06,103
Yeah, yeah. Is there a
game you like to play, huh?
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00:05:06,205 --> 00:05:08,239
- Huh? Yeah.
- Huh?
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00:05:08,341 --> 00:05:12,109
- Yeah?
- Let's play... Fetch Snooky.
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00:05:12,211 --> 00:05:14,613
Oh, OK. Um, how do we play?
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00:05:14,715 --> 00:05:18,149
- This is Snooky.
- Oh.
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00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:21,653
Fetch him!
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00:05:21,755 --> 00:05:24,923
This is going to
be loads of fun.
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00:05:38,372 --> 00:05:41,406
My tail. You...
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00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:44,008
- Oh, dear, Charlene.
- Hey, birthday boy,
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00:05:44,111 --> 00:05:46,411
help is on the way.
Here you go, bro,
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00:05:46,513 --> 00:05:49,013
a little something I made
for you in shop class.
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00:05:49,115 --> 00:05:52,450
- Gimme, gimme, gimme!
- Ow! I think I lost a finger.
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00:05:57,190 --> 00:06:00,558
- Oh, a toy train.
- Yeah, I worked on it all year.
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00:06:00,660 --> 00:06:03,828
I even whittled little forks
and spoons for the dining cart.
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00:06:03,930 --> 00:06:05,963
Wasn't that thoughtful?
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00:06:06,065 --> 00:06:08,900
Want something from the store!
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00:06:09,002 --> 00:06:10,413
Oh.
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00:06:10,437 --> 00:06:14,105
Gee, that clear varnish doesn't
protect like it's supposed to.
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00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:15,306
Oh, I'm sorry.
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00:06:15,409 --> 00:06:17,843
I'm not happy! I'm not happy!
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00:06:17,945 --> 00:06:19,411
I'm not happy!
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00:06:19,513 --> 00:06:22,581
Earl, we need
that kiddie car now.
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00:06:22,683 --> 00:06:26,351
I'm almost there, Fran. Just a
few more turns of the screw...
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00:06:26,453 --> 00:06:29,587
Ooh... Darn it!
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00:06:29,690 --> 00:06:30,888
Please hurry, Earl.
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00:06:30,990 --> 00:06:33,992
There's a two-year-old
bouncing off the walls out there.
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00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:44,468
Mom, you think we
better do something?
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00:06:44,571 --> 00:06:48,272
Yeah. If his diaper comes
loose, it's not gonna be pretty.
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00:06:48,375 --> 00:06:51,342
I know. We'll put on his
Blarney birthday video.
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00:06:51,444 --> 00:06:53,912
Oh, Mom! Blarney bites!
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00:06:54,014 --> 00:06:57,348
He's terrible, Mom. I can't imagine
a worse role model for a child.
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00:06:57,450 --> 00:07:01,519
Ow! Darn it! I hate
you, you stupid toy!
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00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:06,992
OK, here we go. ♪ I
am Blarney, I love you ♪
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00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:09,227
♪ E-I-E-I-O ♪
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00:07:09,329 --> 00:07:12,063
♪ And if you're nice
you'll love me too ♪
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00:07:12,165 --> 00:07:14,365
♪ E-I-E-I-O ♪
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00:07:14,467 --> 00:07:16,901
Well, it does seem to have
quieted him down a little.
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00:07:17,004 --> 00:07:18,647
♪ Love love here
and a love love there ♪
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00:07:18,671 --> 00:07:21,339
♪ Here a love, there a love
Everywhere a love love ♪
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00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:24,742
It's interesting. He strikes
a chord with children.
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00:07:24,844 --> 00:07:29,780
Something about Blarney elicits
pure feelings of warmth and affection.
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00:07:29,882 --> 00:07:31,683
Eat glass, Blarney!
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00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:39,591
- Whoa!
- Die, scum, die!
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00:07:41,094 --> 00:07:43,194
Well, I gotta say I'm with him.
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00:07:43,296 --> 00:07:46,530
That does it. I am fed
up with your bad behavior.
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00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:50,000
- You are going to your room.
- No! I want presents!
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00:07:50,103 --> 00:07:51,948
You are going to your room.
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00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:54,506
There will be no more presents.
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00:07:54,608 --> 00:07:56,240
It's present time!
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00:07:56,342 --> 00:08:00,945
No, Earl. He's been terrible all day.
He doesn't deserve any more presents.
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00:08:01,048 --> 00:08:03,882
Dear Fran, you know so
little about raising children.
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00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:05,428
Son...
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00:08:05,452 --> 00:08:09,153
this present is only
for good little boys.
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00:08:09,255 --> 00:08:12,623
You can have it if you
promise to be good.
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00:08:12,725 --> 00:08:15,093
I'll be good.
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00:08:15,195 --> 00:08:17,895
I promise.
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00:08:17,997 --> 00:08:20,631
It's not right, Earl.
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00:08:20,734 --> 00:08:23,601
- Bribing a child to behave.
- And if it works?
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00:08:23,703 --> 00:08:26,237
It's a shortsighted,
stopgap, quick-fix solution.
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00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:29,841
You don't have to sell me on it.
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00:08:29,943 --> 00:08:32,210
Here, son, look. A car!
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00:08:32,312 --> 00:08:34,212
A car!
141
00:08:34,314 --> 00:08:37,048
- Oh, boy!
- Come on.
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00:08:37,150 --> 00:08:40,085
Gee, Dad, you never bribe
me with anything neat like that.
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00:08:40,187 --> 00:08:42,721
You were never rotten
enough to deserve it.
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00:08:42,822 --> 00:08:45,590
Vroom, vroom, vroom!
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00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:49,994
Nothing will calm a child faster
than playing with some shiny new toy.
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00:08:52,498 --> 00:08:54,965
Yay!
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00:08:55,067 --> 00:08:56,601
You see? He's happy.
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00:08:56,703 --> 00:08:59,170
All it takes is a little
child psychology.
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00:09:06,746 --> 00:09:09,347
Yee-hah! Whoo!
150
00:09:12,752 --> 00:09:15,052
Yahooey!
151
00:09:16,456 --> 00:09:18,423
What's going on?
152
00:09:20,660 --> 00:09:23,628
Here I come!
153
00:09:34,474 --> 00:09:37,442
Again!
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00:09:39,746 --> 00:09:41,846
Whoo!
155
00:09:41,948 --> 00:09:43,848
Well, that worked like a charm.
156
00:09:50,557 --> 00:09:53,257
Aaah!
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00:09:54,661 --> 00:09:56,828
Yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi!
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00:10:07,574 --> 00:10:10,141
Again!
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00:10:12,845 --> 00:10:14,312
As I was saying, Fran,
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00:10:14,414 --> 00:10:17,449
there's nothing will calm a
child faster than a sedative.
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00:10:17,551 --> 00:10:19,984
Got any Phenobarbital, doc?
162
00:10:20,086 --> 00:10:22,186
Hold on. I haven't
examined him yet.
163
00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:26,091
I can't just go around dispensing
dangerous drugs willy-nilly.
164
00:10:26,193 --> 00:10:28,359
Well, actually, I can.
165
00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:30,928
But I don't choose
to, in this case.
166
00:10:31,030 --> 00:10:32,697
We don't know
what to do, doctor.
167
00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:35,800
I keep getting angry when I
know what the baby needs
168
00:10:35,902 --> 00:10:37,502
is love and compassion.
169
00:10:37,604 --> 00:10:40,171
- And where is he now?
- Inside this box.
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00:10:40,273 --> 00:10:42,707
We had to.
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00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:44,875
He chewed through the
straps on his car seat.
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00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:48,179
Very resourceful.
May I see the child?
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00:10:48,281 --> 00:10:50,815
Uh... sure.
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00:10:50,917 --> 00:10:53,718
Uh, he's the doctor.
I guess you know.
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00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:55,286
- Ah.
- Uh...
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00:10:55,388 --> 00:10:58,723
Hmm? Well, hello, little fella.
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00:10:58,825 --> 00:11:00,691
Look at me and say "ahh."
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00:11:00,794 --> 00:11:04,262
- Aaaahh!
- Whoa! Close the box! Close the box!
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00:11:04,364 --> 00:11:08,065
Close the box!
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00:11:08,167 --> 00:11:10,434
- Terrible twos.
- We think so.
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00:11:10,536 --> 00:11:12,636
Oh, I've seen this a
hundred times before.
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00:11:12,739 --> 00:11:15,272
A child of two is
looking for his parents
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00:11:15,374 --> 00:11:17,608
to give him some
concrete boundaries.
184
00:11:17,711 --> 00:11:20,645
So I suggest you wall him
up inside a cave for a year.
185
00:11:20,747 --> 00:11:25,016
Here. Take this to the hardware store,
they'll give you cement and a trowel.
186
00:11:25,118 --> 00:11:28,553
Doc, can I get a refill for
this if he claws his way out?
187
00:11:28,655 --> 00:11:31,289
We are not cementing
our baby into a cave.
188
00:11:31,391 --> 00:11:35,059
Well, I've read in other countries
they're achieving excellent results
189
00:11:35,161 --> 00:11:37,339
locking them in tool sheds.
190
00:11:37,363 --> 00:11:40,765
I'm sorry, Earl, but there
must be some other way.
191
00:11:43,603 --> 00:11:46,471
Hey, Fran, Fran, I think
I've got the answer here.
192
00:11:46,573 --> 00:11:48,205
This is Frau Woodhouse,
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00:11:48,307 --> 00:11:50,341
the famous child/animal trainer.
194
00:11:50,443 --> 00:11:52,610
Shake. Ja.
195
00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:54,044
Open.
196
00:11:54,681 --> 00:11:56,514
Good girl.
197
00:11:56,616 --> 00:11:59,550
- Ja.
- She's been working
with our baby.
198
00:11:59,652 --> 00:12:01,519
This seems a little extreme.
199
00:12:01,621 --> 00:12:04,555
Oh, come on, Fran, we
are at the end of our rope.
200
00:12:04,657 --> 00:12:07,558
Then you must get
a longer, heavier rope
201
00:12:07,660 --> 00:12:09,493
- and don't be afraid to use it.
- Huh?
202
00:12:09,595 --> 00:12:12,430
She is talking a
lot of sense, Fran.
203
00:12:12,532 --> 00:12:16,600
- I don't know.
- The child craves
strict discipline.
204
00:12:16,702 --> 00:12:20,204
He hungers for
the taste of the lash.
205
00:12:20,306 --> 00:12:22,539
You must be strong
and never surrender.
206
00:12:22,642 --> 00:12:25,143
Child rearing is a
triumph of the will.
207
00:12:25,244 --> 00:12:27,878
- Whoa!
- Now we will demonstrate.
208
00:12:27,980 --> 00:12:31,482
- Remove the muzzle.
- Oh. Right.
209
00:12:35,956 --> 00:12:37,788
Tug on the leash.
210
00:12:37,890 --> 00:12:39,557
Right.
211
00:12:39,659 --> 00:12:42,660
Ooh!
212
00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:45,897
Ah! Bad baby, bad baby!
213
00:12:57,977 --> 00:13:01,179
So, as I understand it, we
have a whole year of this.
214
00:13:12,892 --> 00:13:15,392
- You finally get him into bed?
- Yeah.
215
00:13:15,494 --> 00:13:18,662
He was feeling a little logy
after eating the entire sofa.
216
00:13:18,764 --> 00:13:20,598
I wish Mother were here.
217
00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:23,267
She always seems to have
an answer for these things.
218
00:13:23,369 --> 00:13:26,203
- Where is the old witch anyway?
- She's not in her room.
219
00:13:26,305 --> 00:13:28,539
I sent Robbie and
Charlene to look for her.
220
00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:30,240
I don't know what else to do.
221
00:13:30,342 --> 00:13:32,710
Draw a pentagram on the
floor and sacrifice a goat.
222
00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:35,513
- That should conjure her up.
- What's the problem?
223
00:13:35,615 --> 00:13:38,483
Let's go. I have a
full and active life.
224
00:13:38,585 --> 00:13:42,220
- Where have you been?
- The dog track. And make it quick.
225
00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:44,588
I'm still alive
in the late triple.
226
00:13:44,690 --> 00:13:47,024
Mother, you were right
about the terrible twos.
227
00:13:47,126 --> 00:13:48,860
We need your help.
228
00:13:48,962 --> 00:13:50,327
Don't we, Earl?
229
00:13:50,429 --> 00:13:52,897
- Yeah, yeah.
- Oh, yeah.
230
00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:56,668
Now you need me. Now
I'm the belle of the ball.
231
00:13:56,770 --> 00:14:00,371
But yesterday, she's
old, she's useless.
232
00:14:00,473 --> 00:14:04,642
She has nothing to contribute.
We wish she was dead.
233
00:14:04,744 --> 00:14:07,478
- But I meant it with love.
- Oh, yeah.
234
00:14:07,581 --> 00:14:10,681
- Please, we're desperate!
- Yeah.
235
00:14:10,783 --> 00:14:15,353
I already told you. He's
two, it's terrible, end of story.
236
00:14:15,455 --> 00:14:18,589
There's nothing we can do?
There's no help for us anywhere?
237
00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:20,825
Oh, Earl,
238
00:14:20,927 --> 00:14:23,761
I don't think I can
go on much longer.
239
00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:25,529
Oh, stop.
240
00:14:25,632 --> 00:14:28,232
I hate to see you so upset.
241
00:14:28,334 --> 00:14:29,767
Look, I'll tell you what.
242
00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:33,671
In times of despair, when I'm
lost and searching for answers,
243
00:14:33,773 --> 00:14:35,373
there's a book I turn to.
244
00:14:35,475 --> 00:14:38,876
- The Book?
- That's right,
the Yellow Pages.
245
00:14:38,978 --> 00:14:41,346
Over there. Hand
'em here, honey.
246
00:14:43,250 --> 00:14:45,883
Thanks.
247
00:14:45,986 --> 00:14:48,819
Ah. Here's the guy
I was thinking of.
248
00:14:48,921 --> 00:14:51,356
He's well-versed in
all the primitive rituals
249
00:14:51,458 --> 00:14:53,090
for expunging evil spirits
250
00:14:53,192 --> 00:14:56,894
and battling the forces
of ultimate darkness.
251
00:14:56,996 --> 00:14:59,030
The Babysitter?
252
00:15:08,341 --> 00:15:09,773
Thank you so much for coming.
253
00:15:09,876 --> 00:15:12,188
You want to hear some
background on the case?
254
00:15:12,212 --> 00:15:14,144
That is of no use to me.
255
00:15:14,246 --> 00:15:17,581
- The child is two years old?
- Yes.
256
00:15:17,684 --> 00:15:20,451
May heaven have
mercy upon this house.
257
00:15:23,122 --> 00:15:24,789
Follow me.
258
00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:28,660
Hmm. Yes.
259
00:15:30,397 --> 00:15:32,129
Yes.
260
00:15:41,974 --> 00:15:44,675
I've been waiting for you.
261
00:15:47,180 --> 00:15:51,749
I know this baby well.
262
00:15:51,851 --> 00:15:56,153
Note the scent of brimstone
that hangs in the air.
263
00:15:56,255 --> 00:15:59,056
We haven't been able to
change him in quite a while.
264
00:15:59,158 --> 00:16:02,293
This child is the ultimate evil,
265
00:16:02,395 --> 00:16:04,762
a horror unimaginable.
266
00:16:04,864 --> 00:16:07,431
He will twist your
soul from the inside out
267
00:16:07,534 --> 00:16:11,902
until your mind is shattered
and your spirit destroyed.
268
00:16:12,004 --> 00:16:14,324
Boy, he really
does know our kid.
269
00:16:16,876 --> 00:16:19,911
No, no, no, no, no!
I want cookie now!
270
00:16:20,013 --> 00:16:23,947
- Has the child had his dinner?
- Don't want dinner! Give me dessert!
271
00:16:24,049 --> 00:16:26,284
I want a million cookies now!
272
00:16:26,386 --> 00:16:28,252
Do you have the dinner plate?
273
00:16:28,355 --> 00:16:30,187
- Oh, uh...
- Quickly.
274
00:16:32,324 --> 00:16:34,525
Two vegetables? Well-balanced.
275
00:16:34,627 --> 00:16:35,960
Gimme dessert!
276
00:16:36,062 --> 00:16:38,996
You may have your dessert
when you've eaten your dinner.
277
00:16:39,098 --> 00:16:41,132
No, no, no, no! Give me cake!
278
00:16:41,234 --> 00:16:43,500
Ice cream!
279
00:16:43,602 --> 00:16:46,603
- You will start with the rice.
- No!
280
00:16:46,705 --> 00:16:48,939
- No rice!
- Oh.
281
00:16:49,041 --> 00:16:51,942
Pudding pie!
282
00:16:52,044 --> 00:16:55,546
The child's will is
strong. Join me now.
283
00:16:55,648 --> 00:16:58,149
The power of rice compels you.
284
00:16:58,251 --> 00:17:01,118
- Get me pudding pie!
- The power of rice compels you!
285
00:17:01,221 --> 00:17:04,155
The power of rice compels you!
286
00:17:04,257 --> 00:17:06,591
The power of rice compels you!
287
00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:09,393
The power of rice compels you!
288
00:17:10,796 --> 00:17:13,431
Oh, toddler,
289
00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:15,433
it is not you that is bad,
290
00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:18,068
but the behavior which is bad.
291
00:17:18,170 --> 00:17:20,537
Yea, though you
test our patience...
292
00:17:22,275 --> 00:17:25,376
we will not yield.
We shall set limits,
293
00:17:25,478 --> 00:17:30,681
not to punish you but that
you may have boundaries.
294
00:17:30,783 --> 00:17:32,316
I want to watch TV!
295
00:17:32,418 --> 00:17:35,286
- What time is
the child's bedtime?
- Eight o'clock.
296
00:17:35,388 --> 00:17:39,524
It is too late to watch
television. It is your bedtime.
297
00:17:39,626 --> 00:17:41,592
No! Don't want to go to sleep!
298
00:17:41,694 --> 00:17:44,128
Don't wanna, don't
wanna, don't wanna!
299
00:17:44,230 --> 00:17:48,799
You will sleep, for I will
read from the bedtime book.
300
00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:52,870
Not that book! Not that book!
301
00:17:52,972 --> 00:17:55,006
"I do not like blue
eggs and toast."
302
00:17:55,107 --> 00:17:58,375
"Blue eggs and
toast I hate the most."
303
00:18:00,980 --> 00:18:02,546
"Would you eat them on a rug?
304
00:18:02,648 --> 00:18:04,948
Would you eat them with a bug?"
305
00:18:07,386 --> 00:18:09,453
Oh, oh, my! Aaah!
306
00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:14,124
The forces of darkness
are strong within him.
307
00:18:15,661 --> 00:18:18,596
You seek to
destroy all about you.
308
00:18:18,698 --> 00:18:21,832
You need a time out!
309
00:18:24,637 --> 00:18:28,973
No time out! No time out!
310
00:18:29,742 --> 00:18:32,075
Oh, I can't watch!
311
00:18:32,177 --> 00:18:34,645
Take her outside! Lock the door.
312
00:18:34,747 --> 00:18:37,548
And whatever you
might hear, do not...
313
00:18:37,650 --> 00:18:41,552
I repeat, do not open that door!
314
00:18:41,654 --> 00:18:43,153
You got it.
315
00:18:43,255 --> 00:18:44,922
- Come on, Fran, make tracks.
- Go!
316
00:18:45,024 --> 00:18:48,258
No, no, no, no, no!
317
00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:55,600
This is awful, Earl.
We should be in there.
318
00:18:55,702 --> 00:18:56,901
He's our baby.
319
00:18:57,003 --> 00:18:59,436
Now, now, Fran,
this guy's a pro.
320
00:18:59,538 --> 00:19:01,117
He knows exactly
what he's doing.
321
00:19:02,842 --> 00:19:04,722
Help! Let me out of here!
322
00:19:04,777 --> 00:19:08,812
He told us not to open the door.
323
00:19:08,914 --> 00:19:12,349
For the love of everything
holy, let me out of here!
324
00:19:12,452 --> 00:19:14,552
What the...?
325
00:19:14,654 --> 00:19:17,621
- Jeez, jeez.
- What happened?
326
00:19:17,723 --> 00:19:21,024
He needed a time out.
327
00:19:23,696 --> 00:19:25,563
Fran.
328
00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:27,899
Oh! Great scott!
329
00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:33,871
Sorry! Gotta run.
330
00:19:33,973 --> 00:19:36,173
Just remembered, um,
another appointment.
331
00:19:36,275 --> 00:19:38,576
Uh, another line of work.
332
00:19:42,314 --> 00:19:46,651
I'm the baby. Gotta love me.
333
00:19:53,293 --> 00:19:56,327
That's not normal!
334
00:20:08,107 --> 00:20:11,609
It's 4:00 in the morning.
Doesn't he ever shut up?
335
00:20:11,711 --> 00:20:14,578
I want a pony! No, I
want to go to the beach!
336
00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:18,683
A whole year. A
whole year of this.
337
00:20:18,785 --> 00:20:21,752
I can't take it! I'm not gonna
make it to his third birthday.
338
00:20:21,854 --> 00:20:24,755
Gimme a cookie!
Wanna play horsey!
339
00:20:24,857 --> 00:20:27,024
I want a drink of water!
340
00:20:27,126 --> 00:20:29,559
He's not gonna make
it to his third birthday.
341
00:20:29,661 --> 00:20:33,497
- I have a really lame idea.
- Anything is worth a try, dear.
342
00:20:33,599 --> 00:20:37,301
Well, do we have any more
of those birthday candles?
343
00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:39,703
Hmm?
344
00:20:41,507 --> 00:20:43,407
OK. Candles lit.
345
00:20:43,509 --> 00:20:45,175
Is the icing secure?
346
00:20:45,277 --> 00:20:47,745
Check. Charlene,
take the high note.
347
00:20:47,847 --> 00:20:50,313
- Check.
- And whatever happens,
everybody,
348
00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:53,383
just keep singing.
349
00:21:03,195 --> 00:21:06,897
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
350
00:21:06,999 --> 00:21:10,234
- ♪ Happy birthday to you... ♪- I want cookie!
351
00:21:10,336 --> 00:21:12,970
- Keep on singing!
- ♪ Happy third birthday ♪
352
00:21:13,072 --> 00:21:16,840
- ♪ Dear Baby... ♪- Gum! Give me gum!
353
00:21:16,942 --> 00:21:20,611
♪ Happy third birthday to you ♪
354
00:21:20,713 --> 00:21:22,813
I want gum. Give
me gum. Give me...
355
00:21:26,185 --> 00:21:28,485
Oh.
356
00:21:28,587 --> 00:21:30,387
Mama.
357
00:21:32,458 --> 00:21:34,692
Not the mama!
358
00:21:34,793 --> 00:21:36,860
It's my birthday?
359
00:21:36,962 --> 00:21:39,230
- Yeah.
- That's right, sweetheart.
360
00:21:39,331 --> 00:21:42,499
You're not two anymore.
You're three years old.
361
00:21:42,602 --> 00:21:46,604
- Now blow out
your birthday candles.
- Yeah, yeah! OK.
362
00:21:52,411 --> 00:21:53,610
I'm starving.
363
00:21:53,712 --> 00:21:55,212
How about some cake?
364
00:21:55,314 --> 00:21:59,116
Aww. It's great to
have you back, son.
365
00:22:01,987 --> 00:22:05,022
Yeah, yeah.
366
00:22:07,426 --> 00:22:12,129
Oh. Well, I must say
that was inexcusable.
367
00:22:12,231 --> 00:22:14,865
To suggest that you should
deal with the terrible twos
368
00:22:14,967 --> 00:22:18,401
by... by lying to a child,
muzzling him like a dog
369
00:22:18,503 --> 00:22:22,072
or walling him up inside a cave
for a year is reprehensible at best.
370
00:22:22,174 --> 00:22:26,677
I condemn the producers of
Dinosaurs for their irresponsibility.
371
00:22:26,779 --> 00:22:29,246
And I demand that
they explain themselves.
372
00:22:29,348 --> 00:22:31,882
I await their rebuttal.
25891
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