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1
00:00:05,172 --> 00:00:07,739
At last, Dr. Fiend,
you've done it.
2
00:00:07,841 --> 00:00:10,375
Oh, they laughed at me, Igor.
3
00:00:10,477 --> 00:00:14,847
They mocked me.
They said I was mad!
4
00:00:14,949 --> 00:00:17,082
But, now I, and I alone,
5
00:00:17,184 --> 00:00:19,651
have given life to...
6
00:00:20,321 --> 00:00:22,087
a squash!
7
00:00:25,860 --> 00:00:28,893
My squash is alive!
8
00:00:30,164 --> 00:00:32,230
Doctor, you are mad.
9
00:00:32,332 --> 00:00:35,099
Yes! But, mad angry.
10
00:00:35,201 --> 00:00:36,769
Not mad crazy.
11
00:00:38,305 --> 00:00:41,039
Doctor, something's
gone horribly wrong.
12
00:00:41,141 --> 00:00:45,844
The monster squash, it's...
it's growing out of control!
13
00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:54,230
Earl?
14
00:00:54,254 --> 00:00:55,888
Jeez!
15
00:00:55,990 --> 00:00:59,124
I don't want Baby watching
these awful scary movies.
16
00:00:59,226 --> 00:01:00,559
He'll have nightmares.
17
00:01:00,661 --> 00:01:02,861
I'm not scared of vegetables.
18
00:01:02,963 --> 00:01:04,440
Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, Fran!
19
00:01:04,464 --> 00:01:07,199
This isn't merely a scary
movie, it's more of a, uh...
20
00:01:07,301 --> 00:01:09,234
- Uh, a documentary.
- Yeah!
21
00:01:09,336 --> 00:01:13,272
Which examines the consequences of
meddling in things you don't understand.
22
00:01:13,374 --> 00:01:17,909
- Yeah.
- A giant walking squash?
23
00:01:18,011 --> 00:01:20,312
It could happen.
24
00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:22,480
Come on, sweetheart.
Time for bed.
25
00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:24,683
No, no, I wanna watch the movie.
26
00:01:24,785 --> 00:01:28,687
- I wanna see the scary squash!
- Fine, stunt his
intellectual growth.
27
00:01:28,789 --> 00:01:31,089
Robbie and I are gonna sit
here and soak up some science.
28
00:01:31,191 --> 00:01:35,760
And now, back to 50
Foot Vegetable Theater.
29
00:01:39,199 --> 00:01:41,199
I wanna watch the scary movie.
30
00:01:41,301 --> 00:01:43,201
I'm a big boy.
31
00:01:43,303 --> 00:01:46,416
Of course you are. You
want your snuggle bear?
32
00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:48,207
- Yes.
- There.
33
00:01:48,309 --> 00:01:49,641
Mmm.
34
00:01:49,743 --> 00:01:52,478
Good night.
35
00:01:52,580 --> 00:01:55,046
- Night, mama.
- Good night, sweetheart.
36
00:01:55,148 --> 00:01:56,948
- Night, mama.
- Good night.
37
00:01:57,017 --> 00:01:58,794
- Night, mama.
- Good night.
38
00:01:58,818 --> 00:02:00,685
Night, ma...
39
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,822
Big boy.
40
00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:07,825
Not scared.
41
00:02:13,833 --> 00:02:17,035
Um, Mr. Squash? Is that you?
42
00:02:20,941 --> 00:02:24,209
Better come out,
or... or I'll bite you.
43
00:02:24,311 --> 00:02:27,112
Mr. Squash?
44
00:02:35,422 --> 00:02:39,224
Mama!
45
00:03:09,423 --> 00:03:11,556
Honey, I'm home.
46
00:03:17,230 --> 00:03:18,730
Ahh!
47
00:03:20,333 --> 00:03:21,778
- Ooh!
- Ow!
48
00:03:21,802 --> 00:03:24,403
- Ow!
- Ooh!
49
00:03:24,505 --> 00:03:26,104
Aah!
50
00:03:43,657 --> 00:03:45,323
♪ It's Thursday night ♪
51
00:03:45,425 --> 00:03:48,993
♪ Thursday night Wonderful
fabulous Thursday night ♪
52
00:03:49,095 --> 00:03:52,563
Oh, Earl. I wish you wouldn't
make such a big deal about of this.
53
00:03:52,666 --> 00:03:55,678
Oh, not a big deal. Just
want to be loose and limber.
54
00:03:55,702 --> 00:03:58,904
Don't want to cramp
up in a crucial moment.
55
00:03:59,006 --> 00:04:00,205
Get into bed!
56
00:04:00,307 --> 00:04:03,108
Ooh, you impatient little minx.
57
00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:09,748
- Oh, Earl.
- Oh, Fran.
58
00:04:09,850 --> 00:04:12,216
To be with you at
this magic moment.
59
00:04:12,318 --> 00:04:15,064
Where the only sound is
the beating of our hearts.
60
00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:16,588
Help, monster!
61
00:04:16,690 --> 00:04:19,858
And, the whistling of
the wind in the trees.
62
00:04:19,959 --> 00:04:21,393
Mommy, Daddy, help!
63
00:04:21,495 --> 00:04:23,695
Yeah, that's pretty
much all you hear.
64
00:04:23,797 --> 00:04:26,097
- Hearts and wind.
- Mommy!
65
00:04:26,199 --> 00:04:30,235
- Oh.
- Frannie, you're
ruining the mood.
66
00:04:30,337 --> 00:04:32,804
I told you not to let him
watch that monster movie.
67
00:04:32,906 --> 00:04:36,341
All right, it was my mistake.
I feel terrible anguish.
68
00:04:36,443 --> 00:04:39,077
- Comfort me?
- Mama!
69
00:04:39,179 --> 00:04:42,481
- He needs me, Earl.
- And I need you, too.
70
00:04:42,583 --> 00:04:46,851
Come on, Fran. Who
do you love more?
71
00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:53,425
OK, you can let me
know when you get back.
72
00:04:55,062 --> 00:04:57,628
Mama, Mama, Mama!
73
00:04:57,731 --> 00:05:01,032
Mama, Mama!
74
00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:03,634
Mama, the monster's
gonna eat me!
75
00:05:03,736 --> 00:05:06,471
Aww, there's no
monster, sweetheart.
76
00:05:06,573 --> 00:05:08,518
No one's trying to eat you.
77
00:05:08,542 --> 00:05:10,708
- Don't leave me.
- I won't.
78
00:05:10,810 --> 00:05:13,811
I'll be right here
until you fall asleep.
79
00:05:13,914 --> 00:05:16,559
Even if I have to stay
here all night long.
80
00:05:16,583 --> 00:05:19,785
Fran, we're running
out of Thursday night.
81
00:05:19,887 --> 00:05:22,454
- He's frightened, Earl.
- So am I!
82
00:05:22,555 --> 00:05:24,689
Look, let me handle this.
83
00:05:24,791 --> 00:05:29,194
All right, I believe I know a
little bit about child psychology.
84
00:05:29,296 --> 00:05:32,597
Son, the next time you
see that big ugly monster,
85
00:05:32,699 --> 00:05:35,032
you take this
special monster bat,
86
00:05:35,135 --> 00:05:36,246
and let him have it.
87
00:05:36,270 --> 00:05:38,270
Whack! Right on the head.
88
00:05:38,372 --> 00:05:40,238
- OK?
- OK, Daddy.
89
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:42,218
Attaboy. Go, Fran.
90
00:05:42,242 --> 00:05:44,276
And, remember,
91
00:05:44,378 --> 00:05:48,046
Mommy and Daddy are down the hall in
their room doing mommy and daddy things
92
00:05:48,148 --> 00:05:51,916
permissible under the law
between two consenting adults.
93
00:05:52,018 --> 00:05:54,419
We're outta here, Fran.
94
00:05:55,989 --> 00:05:58,523
- Whack the monster!
- Turn on the light.
95
00:05:58,625 --> 00:06:00,826
Whack the monster!
96
00:06:00,927 --> 00:06:04,229
- Fran, lights, now!
- I can't find the switch.
97
00:06:04,331 --> 00:06:06,531
Whack the monster!
98
00:06:06,633 --> 00:06:07,999
There it is.
99
00:06:10,403 --> 00:06:12,582
Are you all right, sweetheart?
100
00:06:12,606 --> 00:06:15,273
- No, I broke
my monster bat.
- Aww.
101
00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:18,410
I'm scared again.
Don't leave me.
102
00:06:18,512 --> 00:06:20,745
Don't worry. I'm
not going anywhere.
103
00:06:20,847 --> 00:06:24,516
- One of us ought to get some sleep.
- - No!
104
00:06:24,618 --> 00:06:28,552
Big monster, need
Mommy and Daddy!
105
00:06:28,655 --> 00:06:30,789
Don't worry, Earl.
106
00:06:30,891 --> 00:06:34,411
He'll be out like a
light in five minutes.
107
00:06:53,947 --> 00:06:56,714
See you in the morning, Fran.
108
00:06:59,453 --> 00:07:02,453
Last night I heard some
sort of noise. Did you?
109
00:07:02,555 --> 00:07:04,522
Was there something
going on with the baby?
110
00:07:04,624 --> 00:07:07,926
- I don't know. I slept like a rock.
- Yeah, me, too.
111
00:07:08,028 --> 00:07:09,360
Hey.
112
00:07:09,462 --> 00:07:12,396
- You guys look terrible.
- Yeah, get some rest.
113
00:07:12,498 --> 00:07:14,265
- Yeah.
- Huh.
114
00:07:14,367 --> 00:07:18,603
Gosh, I hope I don't look
that pathetic when I'm old.
115
00:07:18,705 --> 00:07:21,573
Morning, kids.
116
00:07:21,675 --> 00:07:24,943
Awake all night, no sleep.
117
00:07:25,045 --> 00:07:27,245
I can't live like this, Fran.
118
00:07:27,347 --> 00:07:30,548
It's just one
night. It won't last.
119
00:07:33,386 --> 00:07:35,219
I can't live like this, Earl.
120
00:07:35,321 --> 00:07:37,422
This just isn't fair.
121
00:07:37,524 --> 00:07:39,669
He's awake all night
then sleeps all day.
122
00:07:39,693 --> 00:07:42,693
This "monster-under-the-bed"
thing is not going away.
123
00:07:42,795 --> 00:07:45,163
If we're ever gonna
get any sleep,
124
00:07:45,265 --> 00:07:48,833
we have to take
bold, decisive action.
125
00:07:48,936 --> 00:07:51,536
- We're going to a motel.
- Far away.
126
00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:54,650
We have to get a good night's
sleep and then we'll be back.
127
00:07:54,674 --> 00:07:56,541
- Maybe.
- The number's on the fridge?
128
00:07:56,643 --> 00:07:59,043
- No. Come on, Earl.
- Oh.
129
00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:02,414
- Look, don't worry. We'll be fine.
- Whatever.
130
00:08:02,516 --> 00:08:05,416
- Bye. Bye.
- Bye.
131
00:08:06,620 --> 00:08:09,020
Yes! All right!
132
00:08:09,122 --> 00:08:11,189
Baby's in bed, parents are gone.
133
00:08:11,291 --> 00:08:13,257
Pop a couple frozen
pizzas in the oven.
134
00:08:13,359 --> 00:08:15,705
I've got some long
distance calls to make.
135
00:08:15,729 --> 00:08:17,729
- It's a plan.
- Party.
136
00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:20,465
- Mama! Come quick, the monster!
- Huh?
137
00:08:20,567 --> 00:08:22,767
- Mama!
- Flip for it?
138
00:08:22,869 --> 00:08:24,903
- OK.
- OK.
139
00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:29,741
- Mama! Mama, come quick!
- Tails, he's yours.
140
00:08:31,878 --> 00:08:34,880
Yeah.
141
00:08:34,982 --> 00:08:37,281
- Mama!
- What?
142
00:08:37,383 --> 00:08:40,719
- The monster!
- All right!
143
00:08:40,820 --> 00:08:43,899
Tell your big sister where
the horrible monster is.
144
00:08:43,923 --> 00:08:45,668
I'll kick his monster butt.
145
00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:48,226
He's under the bed! There!
146
00:08:48,328 --> 00:08:51,730
You know what? I think you're
making this whole monster thing up.
147
00:08:51,832 --> 00:08:55,900
- No!
- You're trying
to get attention.
148
00:08:56,002 --> 00:08:57,602
No, no, no, no! Please?
149
00:08:57,704 --> 00:09:00,672
- OK, I'll check.
- Oh, good.
150
00:09:00,774 --> 00:09:02,040
Be careful!
151
00:09:02,141 --> 00:09:04,876
Are you under here, Mr. Monster?
152
00:09:04,978 --> 00:09:06,444
No monsters here.
153
00:09:09,949 --> 00:09:11,182
Charlene!
154
00:09:11,284 --> 00:09:13,250
No!
155
00:09:13,353 --> 00:09:17,455
Robbie!
156
00:09:23,664 --> 00:09:27,465
We now return to 50
Foot Vegetable Theater.
157
00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:31,269
This time I've
really done it, Igor.
158
00:09:31,371 --> 00:09:33,371
Behold!
159
00:09:33,473 --> 00:09:35,639
A shiitake mushroom!
160
00:09:38,444 --> 00:09:39,911
Robbie!
161
00:09:40,013 --> 00:09:42,380
- What?
- Need you now!
162
00:09:42,482 --> 00:09:46,250
- Charlene's there. Need her.
- The monster ate her!
163
00:09:46,352 --> 00:09:49,699
Well, then I'll bet Mr. Monster's
tired from all that chewing.
164
00:09:49,723 --> 00:09:53,958
- Now why don't you
both go to sleep?
- I'm scared!
165
00:09:55,395 --> 00:09:58,340
Charlene, could you
please deal with this?
166
00:09:58,364 --> 00:10:00,531
I don't think so.
167
00:10:00,633 --> 00:10:02,833
Oh. All right.
168
00:10:02,935 --> 00:10:06,036
She just doesn't know
how to handle kids.
169
00:10:06,139 --> 00:10:07,572
Stand back!
170
00:10:07,674 --> 00:10:11,643
I've come to vanquish the evil
slumber menace once and for all.
171
00:10:11,745 --> 00:10:13,722
I brought my special
monster zapper.
172
00:10:13,746 --> 00:10:16,146
That's the vacuum cleaner.
173
00:10:16,249 --> 00:10:19,617
With a special
monster-sucking accessory hose.
174
00:10:19,719 --> 00:10:21,953
- Oh.
- So, where's Charlene?
175
00:10:22,055 --> 00:10:25,756
I told you. Monster
pulled her under the bed!
176
00:10:25,858 --> 00:10:29,071
Oh, look. I'm gonna
show you once and for all...
177
00:10:29,095 --> 00:10:31,062
- there is no monster...
- No! Don't!
178
00:10:31,164 --> 00:10:33,097
Under the bed! What?
179
00:10:36,036 --> 00:10:39,837
Just this big scary hole leading
into a cavernous netherworld.
180
00:10:39,939 --> 00:10:42,673
Charlene's down
there. We gotta save her!
181
00:10:45,011 --> 00:10:48,579
Well, look, just because you saw
Charlene get sucked into that hole,
182
00:10:48,681 --> 00:10:50,726
doesn't mean she's down there.
183
00:10:50,750 --> 00:10:52,717
Robbie! Help!
184
00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:55,519
Help me, Robbie!
Can you hear me?
185
00:10:55,622 --> 00:10:56,754
Bummer.
186
00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:01,392
Um... uh...
187
00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:05,163
listen, little guy, if you're a
touch nervous being down here,
188
00:11:05,265 --> 00:11:07,165
I understand and we
can just turn around
189
00:11:07,267 --> 00:11:09,633
and head back and rethink this.
190
00:11:09,735 --> 00:11:11,313
You're chicken, aren't you?
191
00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:14,471
- Oh, no. I'm thinking of you.
- Chicken-boy!
192
00:11:14,573 --> 00:11:17,441
Stop it.
193
00:11:17,543 --> 00:11:19,543
Cut that out.
194
00:11:19,645 --> 00:11:21,445
Aw, jeez.
195
00:11:23,116 --> 00:11:25,082
Shh! Charlene?
196
00:11:25,184 --> 00:11:27,285
Oh, Robbie, be careful.
197
00:11:27,386 --> 00:11:28,986
- He'll see you.
- Who?
198
00:11:29,088 --> 00:11:31,256
The monster. Oh,
he's got huge claws
199
00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:33,858
and a horrible face with
lots of big, sharp teeth.
200
00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:38,163
Don't see any monster.
Maybe it's your imagination.
201
00:11:38,265 --> 00:11:40,865
All right, I'm sorry
I didn't believe you.
202
00:11:40,967 --> 00:11:43,134
Now hurry up and
get me out of here!
203
00:11:43,236 --> 00:11:46,604
- He's gonna cook me for dinner.
- Yeah. Well, where did he go?
204
00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:49,039
That way. Robbie,
we gotta hurry.
205
00:11:49,142 --> 00:11:51,175
He could be back
here any minute.
206
00:11:51,277 --> 00:11:55,547
Look, I don't know what he's doing,
but I'm sure it's something diabolical.
207
00:11:59,686 --> 00:12:02,219
There.
208
00:12:02,321 --> 00:12:06,491
Hey! What're you doing here,
you stinking meddling kids?
209
00:12:06,593 --> 00:12:08,159
- Oh, no.
- Uh...
210
00:12:08,261 --> 00:12:12,530
- This is your big,
scary monster?
- Yeah.
211
00:12:12,632 --> 00:12:14,632
This is the threat
beneath the house?
212
00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:17,902
- Oh, I'm shaking!
- No, Robbie.
213
00:12:18,004 --> 00:12:19,915
No, you'll just get him mad.
214
00:12:19,939 --> 00:12:23,608
Oh, we don't want to get
him mad because if we did that
215
00:12:23,710 --> 00:12:28,279
then we'd be unleashing, what, a
good 30 pounds of subterranean fury?
216
00:12:28,381 --> 00:12:31,215
Come here, little
fella. Come here, boy.
217
00:12:31,317 --> 00:12:33,751
- Robbie.
- Whoa, whoa!
218
00:12:33,853 --> 00:12:37,455
Never underestimate a guy
with a low center of gravity.
219
00:12:37,557 --> 00:12:40,958
I'm sorry, Earl, but I called
three times and no one answered.
220
00:12:41,060 --> 00:12:42,493
Something is obviously wrong.
221
00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:44,473
Ah, they're
probably fast asleep.
222
00:12:44,497 --> 00:12:48,366
Give me one reason why we should
be here instead of back at the motel.
223
00:12:48,468 --> 00:12:51,735
There are two pizzas here,
they haven't even been touched.
224
00:12:53,439 --> 00:12:55,999
- Good enough for me.
- I'll check
the baby's room.
225
00:12:56,042 --> 00:12:59,154
Well, oh, and, uh, I'll
check the refrigerator
226
00:12:59,178 --> 00:13:02,079
for signs of other
suspicious foodstuffs.
227
00:13:03,416 --> 00:13:05,115
Mmm.
228
00:13:05,218 --> 00:13:07,752
This chocolate cake
bears closer inspection.
229
00:13:07,854 --> 00:13:10,455
I'd better send it
right down to the lab.
230
00:13:10,557 --> 00:13:13,157
Robbie? Charlene?
231
00:13:13,259 --> 00:13:15,860
Earl! Come quick!
232
00:13:15,962 --> 00:13:19,330
They're gone! Call the police!
233
00:13:19,432 --> 00:13:20,432
Jeez.
234
00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:22,860
Yeah, when you
think "daring rescue"
235
00:13:22,902 --> 00:13:26,203
you almost have to
think "Robert Sinclair."
236
00:13:26,305 --> 00:13:28,606
- Not amusing.
- I mean, how do you do it?
237
00:13:28,708 --> 00:13:32,176
It's like you're some
sort of rescuing machine.
238
00:13:32,278 --> 00:13:34,523
- Ooh, a fight.
- I'm gonna get
outta here fine.
239
00:13:34,547 --> 00:13:36,027
- You know why?
- Why?
240
00:13:36,082 --> 00:13:39,450
Our friend will eat you first and
choke to death on your fat head.
241
00:13:39,552 --> 00:13:41,163
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
242
00:13:41,187 --> 00:13:42,887
Fat head, that's funny.
243
00:13:42,989 --> 00:13:44,722
And a fat butt to match it.
244
00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:48,226
Oh, yeah? Let's see you come
over to my cage and say that!
245
00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:50,495
Shut up. Shut up!
246
00:13:50,597 --> 00:13:53,157
It's bad enough
living under this noise.
247
00:13:53,233 --> 00:13:56,734
Now I gotta be ringside
to this nonstop yapfest.
248
00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:59,815
If you hate us so much, why
are you living under our house?
249
00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:04,008
I'm living under your
house? Oh, that's rich.
250
00:14:04,110 --> 00:14:07,311
I'm not living under your house,
you're living on top of mine!
251
00:14:07,413 --> 00:14:10,659
When we built our house there
was nothing but a mound of dirt.
252
00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:13,017
Well, that mound
of dirt was my home.
253
00:14:13,119 --> 00:14:16,554
One minute, I'm sitting in the
sun room, doing my crossword,
254
00:14:16,656 --> 00:14:19,635
and the next, somebody's
pouring concrete on my head!
255
00:14:19,659 --> 00:14:22,894
But that was ten years ago.
What've you been doing all this time?
256
00:14:22,995 --> 00:14:26,664
Tunneling through
ten feet of concrete.
257
00:14:26,766 --> 00:14:28,466
But... but, ten years?
258
00:14:28,568 --> 00:14:31,536
It took me eight years
just to get the permits.
259
00:14:31,638 --> 00:14:34,672
Look, I know you're mad,
but you don't have to kill us.
260
00:14:34,774 --> 00:14:38,742
If you were displaced from your
land, you have rights, we can negotiate,
261
00:14:38,845 --> 00:14:40,110
one species to another.
262
00:14:40,212 --> 00:14:42,847
Ah, you want to negotiate?
263
00:14:42,949 --> 00:14:45,783
- Yeah.
- Fine, I'll negotiate.
264
00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:48,753
I'll negotiate after I eat you!
265
00:14:50,924 --> 00:14:53,524
Well, at least we have
a dialogue going. Ha.
266
00:15:00,233 --> 00:15:02,433
You were right to
call the authorities.
267
00:15:02,535 --> 00:15:04,902
When citizens take the
law into their own hands,
268
00:15:05,004 --> 00:15:07,338
we police have
very little to do.
269
00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:10,674
Chief, we completed the
investigation of the child's room.
270
00:15:10,776 --> 00:15:12,810
- Ah, excellent. Report.
- Back here, sir.
271
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:15,580
- Huh? Right.
- Yes, Chief. The hole checks out.
272
00:15:15,681 --> 00:15:18,449
- We're dealing with a monster.
- You're sure?
273
00:15:18,551 --> 00:15:21,218
Yeah, big spider webs.
Eerie, dripping sounds.
274
00:15:21,321 --> 00:15:23,755
Torches on the walls.
It's a 317, all right.
275
00:15:23,857 --> 00:15:25,990
- 317?
- Monster under the bed.
276
00:15:26,092 --> 00:15:27,558
We get them all the time, ma'am.
277
00:15:27,660 --> 00:15:30,106
Really? What kind
of a monster is it?
278
00:15:30,130 --> 00:15:33,297
From the physical evidence,
I'd say the subject is a male,
279
00:15:33,399 --> 00:15:37,668
webbed claws, about 300 pounds, lots
of spooky, googly eyes all over its head.
280
00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:40,237
- Oh!
- I'm just guessing
on the eye thing.
281
00:15:40,339 --> 00:15:43,007
Now try and stay
calm, Mrs. Sinclair.
282
00:15:43,109 --> 00:15:45,609
This situation is under control.
283
00:15:45,712 --> 00:15:48,012
Your children are in
the competent hands of
284
00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:50,648
trained law enforcement
professionals.
285
00:15:50,750 --> 00:15:54,052
Hey, everybody!
We're gonna be on TV!
286
00:15:54,154 --> 00:15:56,353
Oh, goody!
287
00:15:56,455 --> 00:15:58,433
- Call my mom,
tell her to tape this.
- 10-4.
288
00:15:58,457 --> 00:16:01,392
We interrupt this program
for a special report.
289
00:16:01,494 --> 00:16:05,396
Here is DNN's senior
correspondent, Howard Handupme.
290
00:16:05,498 --> 00:16:07,398
Good afternoon,
the standoff between
291
00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:09,867
local police and the scary
monster under the bed
292
00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:11,049
continues at this hour
293
00:16:11,136 --> 00:16:12,781
as negotiators search for a way
294
00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:14,805
to communicate with the beast.
295
00:16:14,907 --> 00:16:18,275
Police Chief Parish, any luck
making contact with the creature?
296
00:16:18,378 --> 00:16:22,145
No, Howard. I'm afraid we're
pretty much out of ideas at this point.
297
00:16:22,248 --> 00:16:24,715
If only it were as easy
as picking up a telephone
298
00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:26,517
and calling the creature itself.
299
00:16:26,619 --> 00:16:29,286
But there are no easy
answers in police work.
300
00:16:29,389 --> 00:16:31,789
Wouldn't you say, Chief?
301
00:16:34,593 --> 00:16:36,794
Ah, oh, nuts.
302
00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:40,531
Hello? Monster-Under-the-Bed.
303
00:16:40,633 --> 00:16:43,378
Uh, can I call you back? I'm
right in the middle of dinner.
304
00:16:43,402 --> 00:16:47,404
Oh, all right. But make
it quick, I'm famished.
305
00:16:47,506 --> 00:16:49,919
- Here you go,
it's for you.
- Uh...
306
00:16:49,943 --> 00:16:52,043
Hello?
307
00:16:52,145 --> 00:16:54,679
Robbie, can you hear
me? Are you all right?
308
00:16:54,781 --> 00:16:58,148
So far. What happened is we built
our house on top of this guy's house,
309
00:16:58,250 --> 00:17:02,186
which was wrong, but, he's not
such a bad guy, he's pretty reasonable.
310
00:17:02,288 --> 00:17:05,156
- And he's gonna eat us.
- Baby! Is that you?
311
00:17:05,258 --> 00:17:08,158
We're now hearing the
voice of Baby Sinclair.
312
00:17:08,260 --> 00:17:12,462
He's gonna cook us in a big
pot with carrots. I hate carrots!
313
00:17:12,565 --> 00:17:16,033
- Earl, do something!
- Who, me?
314
00:17:16,135 --> 00:17:18,902
- Son, this is your dad.
- How ya doing?
315
00:17:19,005 --> 00:17:20,238
This is your dad.
316
00:17:20,340 --> 00:17:22,084
Hey, look, when I
talk on the telephone,
317
00:17:22,108 --> 00:17:24,308
it comes out on the TV!
318
00:17:24,410 --> 00:17:27,712
Hello, my name is Earl. I am
now talking into the telephone.
319
00:17:27,814 --> 00:17:31,281
All right, enough
chit-chat. Time to eat!
320
00:17:31,383 --> 00:17:33,518
Please, sir. I know
how to handle this.
321
00:17:33,619 --> 00:17:35,886
We calm him down,
establish a rapport.
322
00:17:35,988 --> 00:17:38,622
Hey, there, monster.
323
00:17:38,724 --> 00:17:41,292
Did you ever share a
hot cocoa with your dad?
324
00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:44,461
Well, yeah. Yeah, I did.
325
00:17:44,563 --> 00:17:47,531
- Boy, that really brings back memories.
- - Sure.
326
00:17:47,634 --> 00:17:52,069
- Sounds like you really understand.
- - Ha-ha.
327
00:17:52,172 --> 00:17:56,340
Well, it's just 'cause
I care so darn much.
328
00:17:56,442 --> 00:18:00,144
Release those kids, dirtbag! Or
we'll turn you off like a light switch!
329
00:18:00,246 --> 00:18:03,147
- If I go, they go with me!
- You don't have the guts!
330
00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:05,983
I dare ya! Go ahead,
scaredy-pants, do it!
331
00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:08,385
Do it!
332
00:18:10,390 --> 00:18:12,523
He's clearly unstable.
333
00:18:12,625 --> 00:18:13,758
We'd better move in.
334
00:18:13,860 --> 00:18:16,427
Ahh!
335
00:18:16,529 --> 00:18:18,908
So it appears we've
reached a boiling point
336
00:18:18,932 --> 00:18:23,835
as police and monster inch ever
closer to an almost inevitable firestorm.
337
00:18:23,937 --> 00:18:25,469
Huh? Yes.
338
00:18:25,571 --> 00:18:27,571
I've just been informed
the tactical team
339
00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:29,907
is about to make its
move into the cavern.
340
00:18:30,009 --> 00:18:31,775
- Everyone ready?
- Yep.
341
00:18:31,877 --> 00:18:33,644
Count of three.
342
00:18:33,746 --> 00:18:35,612
- One...
- No, no!
343
00:18:35,714 --> 00:18:36,881
Two...
344
00:18:36,983 --> 00:18:38,594
And we'll be right
back after a word
345
00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:41,486
from the makers of
Happy Fluff candy.
346
00:18:43,155 --> 00:18:44,255
Hold it.
347
00:18:44,356 --> 00:18:48,192
♪ Sugary sweet Light and airy ♪
348
00:18:48,294 --> 00:18:50,094
Nice bright colors ♪
349
00:18:50,195 --> 00:18:51,896
♪ Nothing scary ♪
350
00:18:51,998 --> 00:18:53,731
♪ Fluff candy ♪
351
00:18:53,833 --> 00:18:55,899
♪ Fluff candy ♪
352
00:18:56,001 --> 00:18:57,701
♪ Candy candy ♪
353
00:18:57,803 --> 00:18:59,302
♪ Happy fluff ♪
354
00:18:59,405 --> 00:19:02,139
♪ Candy twice the sugar ♪
355
00:19:02,242 --> 00:19:03,974
- Ahh - ♪ Fluff candy ♪
356
00:19:04,077 --> 00:19:05,442
♪ Twice the sugar ♪
357
00:19:05,544 --> 00:19:07,644
Have you tried new cocoa Fluff?
358
00:19:07,746 --> 00:19:10,581
- ♪ Twice the sugar ♪- Sugar, more sugar!
359
00:19:10,683 --> 00:19:13,083
♪ Twice the sugar ♪
360
00:19:13,185 --> 00:19:16,987
♪ Fluff candy twice the sugar ♪
361
00:19:17,089 --> 00:19:18,955
Can I have some more, Mom?
362
00:19:20,460 --> 00:19:22,960
- And we're back live.
- Three, let's go!
363
00:19:23,062 --> 00:19:24,562
Earl, you've got to stop them!
364
00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:27,064
- Wait a minute!
- Hold it.
365
00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:28,766
I've got an idea.
366
00:19:28,868 --> 00:19:32,036
Out of the chaos comes
the lone, tiny voice of a child.
367
00:19:32,138 --> 00:19:35,018
What idea could this adorable,
but naive, moppet provide
368
00:19:35,107 --> 00:19:39,410
that could possibly change the terrible
destiny that now unfolds before us?
369
00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:41,489
Do you want to
hear my idea or not?
370
00:19:41,513 --> 00:19:43,313
All right.
371
00:19:43,415 --> 00:19:45,149
Just move the house.
372
00:19:45,251 --> 00:19:49,019
Move the house.
In a word, ridiculous.
373
00:19:49,121 --> 00:19:53,190
But let's throw it to our
resident expert, Ernest J. LaPan.
374
00:19:53,292 --> 00:19:55,559
Ernest, is it at all possible?
375
00:19:55,661 --> 00:19:58,361
Could they actually
just move the house?
376
00:20:00,733 --> 00:20:01,966
Sure.
377
00:20:03,335 --> 00:20:04,880
But, even if it is possible,
378
00:20:04,904 --> 00:20:07,771
will this bloodthirsty,
half-crazed basement beast
379
00:20:07,874 --> 00:20:10,707
possible consider such
a whimsical solution.
380
00:20:10,809 --> 00:20:14,011
- Hmm. Yeah, OK.
- Yay!
381
00:20:14,113 --> 00:20:16,513
- Gets us home by 6:00.
- OK.
382
00:20:16,615 --> 00:20:18,548
Isn't that wonderful, Earl?
383
00:20:18,651 --> 00:20:22,620
Well, I don't know how
I feel until TV tells me.
384
00:20:25,358 --> 00:20:28,859
And so, this dramatic
stalemate sadly peters out
385
00:20:28,961 --> 00:20:31,695
without any of the gunplay
we have come to expect.
386
00:20:31,797 --> 00:20:33,965
And, in fact, pathetically need.
387
00:20:34,067 --> 00:20:35,907
Stay tuned for the
movie of the week.
388
00:20:35,935 --> 00:20:37,579
Loosely based on this incident,
389
00:20:37,603 --> 00:20:39,937
but with a much
more exciting ending.
390
00:20:40,039 --> 00:20:42,306
And nudity. Good night.
391
00:20:46,846 --> 00:20:49,246
Yay!
392
00:20:49,349 --> 00:20:52,016
- Hold on, here comes another one.
- - Oh.
393
00:20:54,454 --> 00:20:57,654
Whee!
394
00:20:57,756 --> 00:20:59,957
Again!
395
00:21:00,860 --> 00:21:05,129
- I think that did it.
- Oh. Whew.
396
00:21:05,231 --> 00:21:08,132
- You had quite an adventure.
- I did, Mama.
397
00:21:08,234 --> 00:21:10,554
All right, fellas, thanks a lot.
398
00:21:10,636 --> 00:21:13,236
Well, that was
smooth, crisis averted.
399
00:21:13,339 --> 00:21:15,205
- Everyone's happy.
- Yep.
400
00:21:15,308 --> 00:21:16,588
Hey, you know something?
401
00:21:16,676 --> 00:21:19,610
I learned a very valuable
lesson from all this.
402
00:21:19,712 --> 00:21:20,811
What's that, Earl?
403
00:21:20,913 --> 00:21:23,648
- Gather round, everybody.
- OK.
404
00:21:23,750 --> 00:21:26,617
I learned that when an
infant tells you something,
405
00:21:26,719 --> 00:21:31,088
no matter how wildly improbable
or utterly farfetched it might seem,
406
00:21:31,190 --> 00:21:35,158
you should believe him, 'cause
he's always telling the truth.
407
00:21:35,261 --> 00:21:37,361
Earl, that's...
408
00:21:37,463 --> 00:21:39,997
ridiculous! That's
a stupid lesson.
409
00:21:40,099 --> 00:21:42,999
Well, let's just see.
410
00:21:43,101 --> 00:21:45,602
What do you have
to say, little fellow?
411
00:21:45,704 --> 00:21:49,206
Look, a giant monster squash!
412
00:21:50,109 --> 00:21:52,843
OK, I guess I was wrong...
413
00:21:52,945 --> 00:21:54,878
again.
414
00:21:54,980 --> 00:21:58,816
No, no, no, really! There's a
giant monster squash out there!
29606
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