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1
00:00:04,438 --> 00:00:07,939
- I'll raise you a buck.
- Hmm.
2
00:00:08,675 --> 00:00:10,275
I'll see you,
3
00:00:10,378 --> 00:00:12,811
and I'll raise you a suck toy.
4
00:00:12,913 --> 00:00:15,681
Ah. Must have a
pretty good hand.
5
00:00:15,783 --> 00:00:18,283
- Maybe.
- I know you.
6
00:00:18,385 --> 00:00:21,825
Whenever you squinch up your
nose like that, you're bluffing.
7
00:00:23,624 --> 00:00:26,157
I'm not bluffing, I'm pooping.
8
00:00:26,259 --> 00:00:29,361
And I thought my hand stunk.
9
00:00:29,463 --> 00:00:32,464
Mom, Dad, guess what's
happening on Saturday night.
10
00:00:32,566 --> 00:00:33,832
Just a minute, sweetheart.
11
00:00:33,934 --> 00:00:36,601
Mother, I don't think teaching
the baby how to play poker
12
00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:38,971
- is such a good thing.
- Oh, lighten up, Fran.
13
00:00:39,073 --> 00:00:41,484
He's just a kid. He doesn't
know what he's doing.
14
00:00:41,508 --> 00:00:43,375
OK, my deal. Five card draw,
15
00:00:43,477 --> 00:00:45,611
Jacks or better to
open, trips to win.
16
00:00:45,713 --> 00:00:48,246
Did you hear
that? He's a genius.
17
00:00:48,348 --> 00:00:51,116
- Earl, don't encourage him.
- Uh, excuse me.
18
00:00:51,218 --> 00:00:54,820
But there's gonna be a big talent
show at school this Saturday night.
19
00:00:54,922 --> 00:00:56,655
I'm sorry, what's
happening Saturday?
20
00:00:56,757 --> 00:00:58,456
I'll tell you what's happening.
21
00:00:58,558 --> 00:01:01,171
I am taking this little pink
shark to my poker game.
22
00:01:01,195 --> 00:01:03,606
Talent like this is a
rare and divine gift,
23
00:01:03,630 --> 00:01:05,630
and we're gonna
milk it like a Guernsey.
24
00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:09,568
Well, interestingly enough, the
baby isn't the only one with talent.
25
00:01:09,670 --> 00:01:12,905
- Everyone's gonna
find out Saturday.
- What are you gonna do, honey?
26
00:01:13,007 --> 00:01:14,967
- Well,
since you asked, I'm...
- So...
27
00:01:15,008 --> 00:01:17,176
You guys ready for
some outrageous news?
28
00:01:17,278 --> 00:01:18,877
Well, if you don't mind,
29
00:01:18,979 --> 00:01:21,012
we are discussing my life here.
30
00:01:21,115 --> 00:01:22,292
Sounds fascinating.
31
00:01:22,316 --> 00:01:24,015
So, guess who won first place
32
00:01:24,118 --> 00:01:27,018
for writing the best essay
for the school journal.
33
00:01:27,121 --> 00:01:29,454
- Oh, my!
- But, but, I...
34
00:01:29,556 --> 00:01:32,123
"For excellence in
scholastic achievement."
35
00:01:32,225 --> 00:01:34,960
Yeah, so what'd you win?
Some idiotic scholarship?
36
00:01:35,062 --> 00:01:36,695
- Nah...
- Mom, Dad, um,
37
00:01:36,797 --> 00:01:38,140
the talent show, remember?
38
00:01:38,164 --> 00:01:42,434
- Ta-da!
- Whoa! Meat! You won meat!
39
00:01:42,536 --> 00:01:43,780
- Wow.
- Meat?
40
00:01:43,804 --> 00:01:45,337
I'm so proud!
41
00:01:45,439 --> 00:01:47,672
Yeah, it was sponsored
by the butchers' association.
42
00:01:47,774 --> 00:01:51,977
A thousand words on the
theme, "Meat: Freedom's entrée".
43
00:01:52,079 --> 00:01:54,645
- Oh, Robbie,
this is so wonderful.
- Yeah, but...
44
00:01:54,748 --> 00:01:56,915
- We should celebrate.
- And what better way
45
00:01:57,017 --> 00:02:00,318
than to take this impressive
trophy and toss it on the grill.
46
00:02:00,420 --> 00:02:02,487
Doesn't anyone care
what I have to say?
47
00:02:02,589 --> 00:02:05,468
You didn't by chance happen
to win any onions, did you?
48
00:02:05,492 --> 00:02:08,560
- Oh, Dad.
- Apparently not.
49
00:02:08,662 --> 00:02:11,530
Look, Mama, I drew
to an inside straight.
50
00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:13,865
Baby's first straight.
51
00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:16,234
Fran, get the camera.
52
00:02:16,336 --> 00:02:18,436
Bye.
53
00:02:19,806 --> 00:02:21,885
Well, I can do lots of things.
54
00:02:21,909 --> 00:02:24,643
Come on, Char, this is your
best friend you're talking to.
55
00:02:24,745 --> 00:02:27,546
Oh. OK. I could, uh...
56
00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:30,048
I could coordinate
a fall wardrobe.
57
00:02:30,884 --> 00:02:33,619
Eh... Oh, who am I kidding?
58
00:02:33,721 --> 00:02:36,988
I should just run
away and join a circus.
59
00:02:37,090 --> 00:02:39,391
No, I think they
require talent too.
60
00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:41,026
Yeah.
61
00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:49,368
Gee, Charlene, you
don't have to cry about it.
62
00:02:49,470 --> 00:02:52,304
That's not me. I'm not crying.
63
00:02:52,406 --> 00:02:55,340
- Well, someone is.
- Hey.
64
00:02:55,442 --> 00:02:59,311
Hey, listen. It's
coming from over there.
65
00:02:59,913 --> 00:03:01,380
Oh.
66
00:03:06,052 --> 00:03:08,420
Mindy, it's... It's a caveling.
67
00:03:10,957 --> 00:03:12,624
Oh...
68
00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:44,522
Honey, I'm home.
69
00:03:50,163 --> 00:03:51,630
Aaah!
70
00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:54,677
- Ohh!
- Ow!
71
00:03:54,701 --> 00:03:57,302
- Ow!
- Ooh!
72
00:03:57,404 --> 00:03:59,004
Aah!
73
00:04:08,816 --> 00:04:11,316
Now... Now, now easy, fella.
74
00:04:11,418 --> 00:04:14,686
It's OK. No, I'm
not gonna hurt you.
75
00:04:14,788 --> 00:04:16,955
I just wanna help, OK?
76
00:04:17,057 --> 00:04:19,357
Nice and easy.
77
00:04:19,459 --> 00:04:21,104
There we go.
78
00:04:21,128 --> 00:04:23,595
Ah, there you go.
You're free. Now...
79
00:04:23,697 --> 00:04:25,897
Go on. Shoo.
80
00:04:27,134 --> 00:04:28,600
Ha.
81
00:04:32,172 --> 00:04:34,906
Oh, look! There's more of them.
82
00:04:35,008 --> 00:04:36,008
Shoo.
83
00:04:37,811 --> 00:04:41,880
No, no. You don't get
it. You know, leave.
84
00:04:41,982 --> 00:04:45,049
Wow. Ha! Look, Mindy, they
follow every move I make.
85
00:04:45,151 --> 00:04:48,853
Great. You can teach an
aerobics class. Can we go, please?
86
00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:51,156
I bet I could teach
them a lot of cool tricks.
87
00:04:51,258 --> 00:04:53,725
♪ La, la, la, la, la, la ♪
88
00:04:56,196 --> 00:04:58,997
You know, this could be my
act for the school talent show.
89
00:04:59,099 --> 00:05:01,700
Charlene, they're
just dumb humans.
90
00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:03,368
For the talent show,
you gotta be good.
91
00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:06,382
You can't just get up
there and do anything.
92
00:05:06,406 --> 00:05:10,942
Thank you, Spike, for showing
us all how to hotwire a car.
93
00:05:11,044 --> 00:05:13,644
It was informative
and felonious.
94
00:05:13,746 --> 00:05:15,546
Don't mention it.
95
00:05:15,648 --> 00:05:16,848
Hmm.
96
00:05:16,950 --> 00:05:20,952
Next up is, uh...
Robert Sinclair,
97
00:05:21,054 --> 00:05:25,090
with a folk/left wing/
98
00:05:25,192 --> 00:05:28,392
environmentally
correct love song.
99
00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:31,396
Oh, dear.
100
00:05:31,498 --> 00:05:33,665
- Wish me luck.
- Good luck.
101
00:05:34,934 --> 00:05:36,701
♪ Like acid rain... ♪
Ow! Hey.
102
00:05:36,803 --> 00:05:38,415
Come on. Ow!
103
00:05:38,439 --> 00:05:41,506
♪ ...in my heart... ♪
Oh! Hey, come on.
104
00:05:41,608 --> 00:05:44,409
Oh, it's a tough crowd. You
might as well hang it up right now.
105
00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:47,623
Hey, just because you didn't
win doesn't mean the night is over.
106
00:05:47,647 --> 00:05:50,560
Well, the night's over. Robbie
didn't win. Let's head home.
107
00:05:50,584 --> 00:05:53,530
What about me? I mean, I
haven't even gone on yet.
108
00:05:53,554 --> 00:05:57,000
She's right, Earl. We should
stay and watch Charlene's act.
109
00:05:57,024 --> 00:06:00,692
A bunch of smelly humans standing
on one foot, scratching their butts?
110
00:06:00,794 --> 00:06:02,961
Yeah, that's a
real crowd-pleaser.
111
00:06:03,063 --> 00:06:07,699
And now, Charlene Sinclair
and her interesting little bipeds.
112
00:06:07,801 --> 00:06:10,001
I hope they've had their shots.
113
00:06:10,103 --> 00:06:13,004
Hi.
114
00:06:13,106 --> 00:06:15,640
And up.
115
00:06:17,077 --> 00:06:18,109
Whee.
116
00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:20,846
Jump. Hup!
117
00:06:21,648 --> 00:06:22,914
And up.
118
00:06:23,484 --> 00:06:24,849
Yeah.
119
00:06:26,786 --> 00:06:29,053
Oh.
120
00:06:29,156 --> 00:06:31,256
And... up.
121
00:06:31,991 --> 00:06:33,090
Up.
122
00:06:33,193 --> 00:06:35,260
And over.
123
00:06:35,362 --> 00:06:37,228
Hey. Ta-da!
124
00:06:38,832 --> 00:06:40,631
Wow!
125
00:06:44,204 --> 00:06:45,637
Good.
126
00:06:49,776 --> 00:06:52,277
Hey!
127
00:06:52,379 --> 00:06:54,412
Hey! Ha ha!
128
00:06:54,515 --> 00:06:58,316
And the winner is...
Charlene Sinclair.
129
00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:01,386
Yeah!
130
00:07:01,488 --> 00:07:03,922
Thank you. Shoo.
Shoo. Come on, let's go.
131
00:07:04,024 --> 00:07:05,434
- Very good.
- Thank you.
132
00:07:05,458 --> 00:07:07,592
Sweetheart, you were wonderful!
133
00:07:07,694 --> 00:07:10,695
I won! Can you
believe it? I won!
134
00:07:10,797 --> 00:07:12,764
I had no idea you
were so talented.
135
00:07:12,866 --> 00:07:15,433
You are my new favorite child.
136
00:07:15,535 --> 00:07:17,302
- Daddy!
- What? Hey, what about me?
137
00:07:17,403 --> 00:07:20,905
Now, Robbie. Charlene's success
doesn't take anything away from you.
138
00:07:21,007 --> 00:07:23,207
How would you like
Robbie's room? It's bigger.
139
00:07:23,309 --> 00:07:26,255
Hey, I don't see what everybody's
making such a big deal about.
140
00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:27,823
The humans did all the work.
141
00:07:27,847 --> 00:07:30,125
She just stood there
with a stick, saying "hup".
142
00:07:30,149 --> 00:07:33,218
- Where's that girl
with the stick?
- Me?
143
00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:38,022
There she is! Kid, I know
talent, and believe me, you got it.
144
00:07:38,124 --> 00:07:40,925
- Yeah?
- I love the way
you say "hup."
145
00:07:41,028 --> 00:07:42,927
Go ahead. Say it.
146
00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:46,864
- Hup.
- Oh, fabulous! I love it!
147
00:07:46,966 --> 00:07:49,968
- Makes me wanna jump.
- Who are you?
148
00:07:50,069 --> 00:07:53,709
Hank Hilber, booking
agent extraordinaire.
149
00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:55,406
- Oh, wow.
- Oh.
150
00:07:55,508 --> 00:07:59,678
Little lady, you and I
have a lot to talk about.
151
00:08:04,751 --> 00:08:07,630
Another... A pair
of teeth, Mr. Hilber?
152
00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:09,955
Thanks. I gotta tell you,
153
00:08:10,057 --> 00:08:12,691
your little girl here
has a one-of-a-kind act.
154
00:08:12,793 --> 00:08:16,194
And there's no reason Charlene
and her amazing humans
155
00:08:16,296 --> 00:08:18,863
- can't go straight
to the top.
- Oh.
156
00:08:18,965 --> 00:08:22,667
- You mean?
- That's right. The state fair.
157
00:08:22,769 --> 00:08:24,289
- Ha ha!
- Wow!
158
00:08:24,371 --> 00:08:27,772
"Charlene and her
amazing humans."
159
00:08:27,874 --> 00:08:29,240
I like it.
160
00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:32,021
Excuse me, but I fail to
see what's so special about
161
00:08:32,045 --> 00:08:35,446
a bunch of dirty forest animals
jumping all over each other.
162
00:08:35,548 --> 00:08:37,515
♪ Somebody's jealous ♪
163
00:08:37,617 --> 00:08:39,450
- I am not.
- Yes, you are.
164
00:08:39,552 --> 00:08:42,453
- Look, you're green.
- I'm always green.
165
00:08:42,556 --> 00:08:44,676
- Yeah.
- So, what do you say,
Charlene?
166
00:08:44,758 --> 00:08:47,692
- The fair's tomorrow.
- Well, uh...
167
00:08:47,794 --> 00:08:50,862
Well, you see, Mr. Hilber,
the cavelings are kind of tired,
168
00:08:50,964 --> 00:08:53,198
and I was gonna let
'em rest tomorrow.
169
00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:54,933
A state fair.
170
00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:57,246
I haven't been to
one of those in years.
171
00:08:57,270 --> 00:09:00,137
- Ah.
- Cotton candy,
hot rat on a stick,
172
00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:03,040
porta-potties. I'm in heaven.
173
00:09:03,143 --> 00:09:05,643
Well...
174
00:09:05,745 --> 00:09:09,381
I guess, uh, a little more
exercise wouldn't hurt them.
175
00:09:09,483 --> 00:09:11,416
OK. I'll do it.
176
00:09:11,518 --> 00:09:13,162
That a girl.
177
00:09:13,186 --> 00:09:16,087
Yeah. Ah...
178
00:09:18,225 --> 00:09:21,559
Look, I know you're tired, and I
know I promised you could play today,
179
00:09:21,661 --> 00:09:23,594
but we've got this fair thing.
180
00:09:23,696 --> 00:09:27,332
So, guys, we'll just do
one more show. OK?
181
00:09:27,434 --> 00:09:28,934
OK.
182
00:09:29,036 --> 00:09:32,136
What do you mean, "we"?
We're doing all the work, fatso!
183
00:09:32,238 --> 00:09:34,038
- Ha!
- What?
184
00:09:34,140 --> 00:09:36,580
Do you know what
your problem is?
185
00:09:36,643 --> 00:09:38,487
You are so incredibly jealous
186
00:09:38,511 --> 00:09:42,514
that Mom and Dad are finally
noticing me that you can't stand it.
187
00:09:42,616 --> 00:09:45,416
Ooh. Charlene and
her amazing ego.
188
00:09:45,518 --> 00:09:47,685
Well, listen, quill brain,
189
00:09:47,788 --> 00:09:50,133
what I do requires an
incredible amount of work.
190
00:09:50,157 --> 00:09:54,092
- Oh, right. I forgot,
"hup, hup, hup."
- Hey, what about...
191
00:09:57,798 --> 00:09:59,397
Huh? Hey.
192
00:09:59,499 --> 00:10:03,601
Do you think...?
193
00:10:05,305 --> 00:10:08,506
- I bet that's their mother.
- Um, well, how do you know?
194
00:10:08,609 --> 00:10:11,454
I mean, the woods are
crawling with cave people.
195
00:10:11,478 --> 00:10:13,344
She could be anybody.
196
00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:15,579
Charlene, it's showtime.
197
00:10:15,682 --> 00:10:18,249
So, is my talented daughter
ready to go to the fair?
198
00:10:18,352 --> 00:10:21,852
Those lines for the porta-potties
aren't getting any shorter.
199
00:10:24,590 --> 00:10:27,692
Uh...
200
00:10:27,794 --> 00:10:28,827
Mmm?
201
00:10:28,929 --> 00:10:31,429
I'm ready, Daddy.
202
00:10:31,531 --> 00:10:33,198
Good.
203
00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:36,112
- Come on. Here we go.
- ♪ We'll be so rich... ♪
204
00:11:03,630 --> 00:11:06,163
You can stare all you want,
you're not getting any beer.
205
00:11:06,266 --> 00:11:09,200
You're thirsty?
Go hit the toilet.
206
00:11:11,304 --> 00:11:14,939
Hey! Wha...? Oh, jeez.
207
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:21,946
Hey, you know...
208
00:11:22,048 --> 00:11:24,382
for a filthy, disgusting,
godforsaken creature,
209
00:11:24,484 --> 00:11:25,850
you're pretty cute.
210
00:11:25,952 --> 00:11:30,020
Oh. OK, now you're shedding.
211
00:11:30,122 --> 00:11:33,257
Cute only buys so
much. Go on, scram.
212
00:11:33,359 --> 00:11:35,771
Listen, kid, stop
beating yourself up.
213
00:11:35,795 --> 00:11:38,163
You were terrific
yesterday at the fair.
214
00:11:38,265 --> 00:11:40,165
Yeah, but I only
came in second place.
215
00:11:40,267 --> 00:11:44,035
Hey, who knew someone would
bring in a two-headed goat that sings?
216
00:11:44,137 --> 00:11:47,183
I'm still convinced that
left head was lip-synching.
217
00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:49,674
Yeah. Hmm. What
do you think, Daddy?
218
00:11:49,776 --> 00:11:51,909
Hmm? Well, I gotta
go with the judges.
219
00:11:52,012 --> 00:11:54,645
I've seen your act twice
now, and quite frankly, honey...
220
00:11:54,747 --> 00:11:56,826
- It's startin' to get
a little old.
- Oh.
221
00:11:56,850 --> 00:11:59,450
Say, Hank, do you know if
that goat's got an album out?
222
00:11:59,552 --> 00:12:00,752
Daddy.
223
00:12:00,854 --> 00:12:02,799
- See, kid? That's your public.
- Yeah?
224
00:12:02,823 --> 00:12:05,990
You gotta spice up the act.
Give the audience what they want.
225
00:12:06,093 --> 00:12:08,626
- Thrills. Excitement.
- Multiple heads.
226
00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:12,008
Now, you've got your cavelings
jumping through hoops already.
227
00:12:12,032 --> 00:12:13,312
So, I'm thinking...
228
00:12:13,366 --> 00:12:16,267
Set the hoops on fire.
229
00:12:16,369 --> 00:12:18,435
Ooh. Fire. Nifty.
230
00:12:18,538 --> 00:12:21,939
- Fire?
- Listen to your
audience, Charlene.
231
00:12:22,041 --> 00:12:24,408
- Yeah. But, couldn't
they get burned?
- Aha!
232
00:12:24,510 --> 00:12:26,856
That's the question
the audience will ask.
233
00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:28,612
Hey, couldn't they get burned?
234
00:12:28,714 --> 00:12:30,826
See? They're on the
edge of their seats.
235
00:12:30,850 --> 00:12:32,750
Well, I don't know.
236
00:12:32,853 --> 00:12:35,019
I mean, training them
to do a trick like that,
237
00:12:35,121 --> 00:12:36,954
it's gonna take an
awful lot of cookies.
238
00:12:37,056 --> 00:12:39,824
Well, that's your problem.
You're feeding them.
239
00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:41,425
- Try not feeding them.
- Huh?
240
00:12:41,527 --> 00:12:44,473
You'll be amazed the
tricks they'll do for a cookie,
241
00:12:44,497 --> 00:12:46,030
if they're hungry.
242
00:12:47,033 --> 00:12:48,700
Oh.
243
00:12:48,802 --> 00:12:51,903
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Come on, come on, come on!
244
00:12:52,005 --> 00:12:53,638
Ah...
245
00:12:56,476 --> 00:12:58,810
Uh-uh. My banana.
246
00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:03,314
No way! Mama!
247
00:13:03,416 --> 00:13:05,683
- What?
- They want my banana!
248
00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:07,752
Well, don't give
them any, sweetheart.
249
00:13:07,854 --> 00:13:10,955
Charlene said they shouldn't
eat, they're in training.
250
00:13:11,057 --> 00:13:12,924
No food?
251
00:13:13,026 --> 00:13:14,459
No food.
252
00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:17,862
That stinks.
253
00:13:17,964 --> 00:13:20,031
Hmm.
254
00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:23,334
Shh. Quiet.
255
00:13:23,436 --> 00:13:25,076
Go for it!
256
00:13:25,171 --> 00:13:26,604
Share it. Share it.
257
00:13:26,706 --> 00:13:28,505
Aw...
258
00:13:28,608 --> 00:13:32,243
Wow. Jeez. You guys act
like you haven't eaten in days.
259
00:13:33,279 --> 00:13:35,024
Doesn't anybody ever feed you?
260
00:13:35,048 --> 00:13:36,647
Me. Banana.
261
00:13:36,749 --> 00:13:38,816
Oh. Well, we'll see about that.
262
00:13:38,918 --> 00:13:41,685
Oh. Yeah.
263
00:13:41,787 --> 00:13:44,722
Here you go.
264
00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:47,291
What do you think you're doing?
265
00:13:48,995 --> 00:13:52,040
Well, they were hungry. I was
giving them something to eat.
266
00:13:52,064 --> 00:13:54,499
- If that's OK with you.
- Yeah.
267
00:13:54,601 --> 00:13:56,367
No, it's not OK with me.
268
00:13:56,469 --> 00:13:59,203
If you understood anything
about training animals,
269
00:13:59,305 --> 00:14:02,607
you'd know you have to withhold
food to get them to perform.
270
00:14:02,709 --> 00:14:04,987
You're starving them
so they'll do stupid tricks?
271
00:14:05,011 --> 00:14:08,479
- That's the worst thing
I've heard of!
- Why don't you just say it?
272
00:14:08,581 --> 00:14:11,349
You're still jealous 'cause
I'm getting all the attention.
273
00:14:11,451 --> 00:14:14,096
I'll admit I was a
little jealous before.
274
00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:17,055
This is getting out of hand.
These cavelings are not your toys.
275
00:14:17,157 --> 00:14:20,424
They're hungry and unhappy.
They should be with their mother,
276
00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:22,805
not jumping through fire
so you can look like a star.
277
00:14:22,829 --> 00:14:24,762
Yeah! Uh-oh.
278
00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:26,931
Well, it shows how
much you know.
279
00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:29,600
This has nothing to
do with being a star.
280
00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:33,838
I'm Mortie Troutman, and
it's time to "Leap To The Stars"
281
00:14:33,940 --> 00:14:37,274
Thank you. Thank you very
much. Nice to be here, folks.
282
00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:40,911
Oh, and boy, have we got
an exciting show for you!
283
00:14:41,014 --> 00:14:43,614
We've got a 71-year-old
belly dancer...
284
00:14:43,650 --> 00:14:46,462
Boy, have I got
butterflies in my stomach!
285
00:14:46,486 --> 00:14:49,988
Me too. I've never had an
act that went this far before.
286
00:14:50,089 --> 00:14:52,690
And now, the moment
you've all been waiting for.
287
00:14:52,792 --> 00:14:57,729
Let's see what lucky talent is
ready to "Leap To The Stars"!
288
00:14:57,831 --> 00:14:59,363
Our first act is...
289
00:14:59,465 --> 00:15:02,900
Charlene and her amazing humans.
290
00:15:05,404 --> 00:15:07,405
And... up!
291
00:15:07,507 --> 00:15:08,673
Yeah.
292
00:15:09,042 --> 00:15:10,141
Ah!
293
00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:12,643
And, ah!
294
00:15:12,746 --> 00:15:14,278
And, yep!
295
00:15:14,380 --> 00:15:15,713
Ahh!
296
00:15:15,815 --> 00:15:17,648
Not very good.
297
00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:20,110
I wanna see the puppet show.
298
00:15:25,225 --> 00:15:26,791
And... ready?
299
00:15:29,529 --> 00:15:31,762
And... Hup!
300
00:15:35,401 --> 00:15:37,268
Yeah! Ta-da!
301
00:15:37,370 --> 00:15:38,370
Hee hee.
302
00:15:38,404 --> 00:15:40,082
- Seen it.
- Not impressed.
303
00:15:40,106 --> 00:15:44,141
Uh, uh... Oh. Uh...
304
00:15:44,243 --> 00:15:45,809
I don't understand.
305
00:15:45,912 --> 00:15:48,846
You said the fire trick
would knock their socks off.
306
00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:52,283
You're gonna have
to do... the ladder trick.
307
00:15:52,385 --> 00:15:54,952
Oh. The ladder trick? But, I...
308
00:15:55,055 --> 00:15:57,021
- I don't wanna make them...
- Come on, kid.
309
00:15:57,123 --> 00:16:00,035
Your parents are watching.
You want to impress them or not?
310
00:16:00,059 --> 00:16:04,294
Well... Yeah. I...
311
00:16:04,397 --> 00:16:08,632
For our last trick, we will be
performing a very dangerous stunt
312
00:16:08,735 --> 00:16:11,034
that has never been done before.
313
00:16:11,136 --> 00:16:13,704
Here, on this stage,
a human being
314
00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:16,907
will climb to the top
of this 50-foot ladder,
315
00:16:17,009 --> 00:16:19,377
and dive into this
plastic kiddie pool
316
00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:21,945
filled with...
very little water.
317
00:16:24,683 --> 00:16:27,285
OK. Here we go.
318
00:16:27,386 --> 00:16:29,586
And... up!
319
00:16:31,057 --> 00:16:32,422
Yeah. Ha ha.
320
00:16:38,030 --> 00:16:40,097
Come on, up.
321
00:16:40,199 --> 00:16:43,601
Um...
322
00:16:43,703 --> 00:16:45,169
What?
323
00:16:45,271 --> 00:16:48,139
Why did she stop? She stopped.
324
00:16:48,241 --> 00:16:50,007
Ooh.
325
00:16:50,109 --> 00:16:51,775
And up!
326
00:16:51,877 --> 00:16:53,411
Go up!
327
00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:55,746
Go on up!
328
00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:59,361
Please! Please! This
is a very difficult trick.
329
00:16:59,385 --> 00:17:01,686
It requires a high
degree of concentration.
330
00:17:01,788 --> 00:17:04,488
Please, show the
performer some respect.
331
00:17:04,590 --> 00:17:07,224
- Take off your top!
- What? Oh...
332
00:17:07,327 --> 00:17:09,593
Uh, uh...
333
00:17:09,696 --> 00:17:13,831
Look, look, I promise it's the
last trick I'll ever make you do.
334
00:17:14,934 --> 00:17:17,534
Uh, I'll give you a cookie
as soon as you're done.
335
00:17:19,339 --> 00:17:22,940
I'll give you ten cookies.
Please, just get up there!
336
00:17:28,615 --> 00:17:31,415
Please?
337
00:17:31,517 --> 00:17:34,351
Kiddo, here, use this.
338
00:17:34,453 --> 00:17:35,986
- Here.
- What is it?
339
00:17:36,088 --> 00:17:37,466
- A cattle prod.
- Huh?
340
00:17:37,490 --> 00:17:39,657
Oh.
341
00:17:39,759 --> 00:17:42,226
Just give the fur ball
a little zap in the tush,
342
00:17:42,328 --> 00:17:44,540
that'll make 'em
leap for the stars.
343
00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:47,031
But... But I don't
want to hurt it.
344
00:17:47,133 --> 00:17:49,500
Oh, they're humans.
They have no feelings.
345
00:17:49,602 --> 00:17:52,236
Now, zap her and get on with it.
346
00:17:55,141 --> 00:17:57,208
I'm sorry. I can't.
347
00:17:57,310 --> 00:17:59,710
Well, if you won't, I will.
348
00:17:59,812 --> 00:18:01,946
No, no, no. You stop!
You leave it alone.
349
00:18:02,047 --> 00:18:05,550
Look, kid, you wanna succeed in
show business, it takes sacrifice.
350
00:18:05,652 --> 00:18:08,531
Not necessarily your
sacrifice, it could be theirs.
351
00:18:08,555 --> 00:18:09,835
Somebody's gotta suffer.
352
00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:12,489
Well, I just can't.
353
00:18:12,592 --> 00:18:15,826
Oh, great! This
is the thanks I get.
354
00:18:15,928 --> 00:18:19,430
I was dedicated to you,
kid. You, and only you.
355
00:18:19,532 --> 00:18:22,499
Oh, I'll never get over this.
356
00:18:22,601 --> 00:18:25,369
Mortie, have I showed
you this kid I got?
357
00:18:25,471 --> 00:18:28,617
Bites the heads off chickens.
I know what you're thinkin'...
358
00:18:28,641 --> 00:18:30,907
Yeah, yeah.
359
00:18:32,879 --> 00:18:35,112
Please, please. Look...
360
00:18:35,214 --> 00:18:37,014
I know that you
think I'm a quitter,
361
00:18:37,049 --> 00:18:38,348
and maybe I am.
362
00:18:38,450 --> 00:18:42,319
But nothing can justify
hurting another living thing.
363
00:18:42,422 --> 00:18:44,988
Not fame, not fortune.
364
00:18:45,090 --> 00:18:49,060
Not even a chance to be
someone special in your own family.
365
00:18:49,162 --> 00:18:52,496
Earl, I think we've done
something wrong here.
366
00:18:52,598 --> 00:18:53,997
I agree.
367
00:18:54,099 --> 00:18:56,133
- Back to the ballgame.
- Earl!
368
00:18:56,236 --> 00:18:59,270
I know you all came here
tonight to have a good time.
369
00:18:59,372 --> 00:19:03,007
But stop for a moment, and
ask yourself this question.
370
00:19:03,109 --> 00:19:05,476
Are you willing
to trade the pain
371
00:19:05,578 --> 00:19:08,646
and suffering of these,
your fellow creatures,
372
00:19:08,748 --> 00:19:13,116
for a few fleeting moments of
cheap, unethical entertainment?
373
00:19:13,219 --> 00:19:15,720
- Yes!
- Well, I'm not!
374
00:19:17,823 --> 00:19:20,424
Oh!
375
00:19:21,928 --> 00:19:24,728
- Boo! Get 'em off!
- It's all right.
376
00:19:27,866 --> 00:19:31,602
We want the goat!
We want the goat!
377
00:19:31,704 --> 00:19:35,605
We want the goat!
378
00:19:45,151 --> 00:19:48,285
There we go. Come on out.
379
00:19:48,387 --> 00:19:49,987
That's it.
380
00:19:50,656 --> 00:19:52,923
Well, guys, this is it.
381
00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:56,727
It's the end of the
road. I'm letting you go.
382
00:19:56,829 --> 00:20:00,731
But I just want you
to know, I'm sorry.
383
00:20:00,833 --> 00:20:04,501
Do you understand? I'm sorry.
384
00:20:07,072 --> 00:20:09,606
Oh. Oh, no. No.
385
00:20:09,708 --> 00:20:11,542
You don't understand, no.
386
00:20:11,644 --> 00:20:13,611
No, no, you don't have
to do tricks anymore.
387
00:20:13,713 --> 00:20:15,857
I guess you taught
'em pretty well.
388
00:20:15,881 --> 00:20:18,882
- Look, I'm trying
to let them go, OK.
- Oh, yeah, I know.
389
00:20:18,984 --> 00:20:21,697
I saw what you said
on TV. That took guts.
390
00:20:21,721 --> 00:20:24,154
- Oh, thanks for noticing.
- Yeah.
391
00:20:24,256 --> 00:20:26,590
Well, now that I'm
setting my act free,
392
00:20:26,693 --> 00:20:28,892
no one's ever gonna
notice me again.
393
00:20:28,994 --> 00:20:30,961
I can go back to my old act.
394
00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:34,965
Charlene, the amazing,
invisible middle child.
395
00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:37,501
Charlene, you're not invisible.
396
00:20:37,603 --> 00:20:40,537
- Well, it sure seems that way?
- Is that what you thought?
397
00:20:40,639 --> 00:20:42,306
That you needed
to put on a big show
398
00:20:42,408 --> 00:20:44,341
to get your father
and me to notice you?
399
00:20:44,443 --> 00:20:46,343
Uh-huh.
400
00:20:49,949 --> 00:20:51,983
- What?
- Oh!
401
00:20:52,085 --> 00:20:54,451
Oh! Um...
402
00:20:54,553 --> 00:20:57,899
Sweetheart, you don't need to put on
a big show just to get me to love you.
403
00:20:57,923 --> 00:21:01,091
- No?
- No, a little revue
would be plenty.
404
00:21:01,193 --> 00:21:03,861
- Oh...
- What your father
is trying to say is
405
00:21:03,963 --> 00:21:06,530
that sometimes it's hard
when you have three children
406
00:21:06,633 --> 00:21:09,466
to give each of them the
attention and love they deserve.
407
00:21:09,568 --> 00:21:11,836
- Yeah.
- But we'll try harder.
408
00:21:11,938 --> 00:21:13,604
- Huh?
- What?
409
00:21:16,209 --> 00:21:18,341
Hey, look, they found their mom.
410
00:21:18,444 --> 00:21:21,177
Or their dad. How can you tell?
411
00:21:24,383 --> 00:21:27,551
You watch out for traps, OK?
412
00:21:29,855 --> 00:21:34,124
Yeah. That's right. Shoo.
413
00:21:39,231 --> 00:21:41,232
- Bye.
- Bye.
414
00:21:43,169 --> 00:21:44,835
- You did the right thing.
- Yeah?
415
00:21:44,937 --> 00:21:47,849
They're back among their own
kind now, where they belong.
416
00:21:47,873 --> 00:21:49,418
- Yeah.
- Safe in the wilderness
417
00:21:49,442 --> 00:21:51,153
where no one can ever find them.
418
00:21:51,177 --> 00:21:53,577
No one can ever hurt them.
419
00:21:56,782 --> 00:22:00,851
Now, in exchange for my theatrical
representation of your children,
420
00:22:00,953 --> 00:22:03,387
I will, of course, require 40...
421
00:22:03,489 --> 00:22:06,424
Eh, 50 percent of
all gross earnings.
422
00:22:06,526 --> 00:22:09,960
This will cover all public
performances, theme park appearances,
423
00:22:10,063 --> 00:22:12,663
mini-series and boat
shows, you understand?
424
00:22:13,266 --> 00:22:14,266
Good.
425
00:22:14,300 --> 00:22:17,301
Now, let's get into
merchandising.
426
00:22:17,403 --> 00:22:22,005
Should any of your children be
made into a plush toy, action figure...
29273
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