All language subtitles for Dinosaurs S03E18 Dirty Dancin.DVDRip.NonHI.cc.en.DSNY.EN

Oh, Caroline...

Caroline...

I've never done the
mating dance before,

but I always dreamed
it would be with you.

Dreams do come true, sweetheart.

Dreams do come true.

Caroline?

Oh, wow, what a dream.

Uh, what's going on?

Hey, relax, Scooter.

It was bound to
happen sooner or later.

- What?
- It was a mating dance
dream, Sinclair.

Just your body's way of
telling you you're ready.

Ready for what?

The big one. Bada
bing, bada boom.

Listen, promise me you're
not gonna tell anybody.

You've reached a sensitive stage
in your adolescent development.

Nature's drums are pounding
out a beat you cannot ignore.

Yeah, maybe I can't do
anything about my dreams,

but I can keep control of
myself while I'm awake.

- Good luck, Scooter.
- Hi.

- Hi, Robbie.
- Caroline.

Uh, hello.

That lab report was really
tough, don't you think?

Oh, the lab? Well, uh,

no, I didn't have any
problems, but, uh...

Robbie, what are you doing?

What? Oh, nothing, I just, uh...

Wha... Uh... Whoa!

Look, everybody! Sinclair's
doing the mating dance!

What's going on here?

Oh, my goodness!
This is terrible.

Somebody call the nurse.

Oh, Robbie. Oh, that's so gross.

- What's going on?
- Don't worry, Sinclair.

I don't think anybody noticed.

Honey, I'm home.

Stay tuned, after
Father Knows Nothing

for the premiere of
Dad's A Big Moron.

And then at 9:00
it's more hijinks

with Simpleton Father

followed by Brain Dead Dad.

This is why TV stinks.

One show's a hit, they
make 50 more like it

with the same characters
and the same premise.

Don't have a cow, man.

- Hi, Mom.
- Hi, Charlene. Hello, Robbie.

Stupid twitching.

I can't believe I
can't control that.

Looks like somebody
had a bad day.

Well, not me. Today was
the best day of my whole life,

and I have Robbie to thank.

It's nice to see you
two getting along.

- What did Robbie do for you?
- He made a total
geek of himself.

He did the mating dance
in front of the whole school.

Earl.

Robbie's been doing
the mating dance.

Yes, Fran, I've been expecting
this for quite some time now.

- Earl, he's just a boy.
- Hardly, my dear.

Why, when a young male
reaches a certain age,

his body goes through
special changes.

He's bound to be frightened,
he's bound to be confused.

And as responsible parents
there's only one thing to do...

- Ignore it.
- Huh?

This must be a
difficult time for Robbie.

- I would think he'd want
to talk about it.
- And you'd be wrong.

The only thing worse than doing
the mating dance in front of everybody

is talking about
it with your family.

I think he's suffered enough.

Daddy, what's the
point of having a brother

with a really embarrassing problem
if you can't torment him about it?

Now, we'll have none of that.
And that goes for everybody.

We'll have a
normal family dinner,

and nobody's gonna talk
about... you know what.

- Yeah.
- What can't we talk about?

- Well, at school today...
- Uh-uh! Don't anybody tell him.

Tell me, tell me, tell me!

Oh, all right. No one
can talk about, uh...

spoons.

Spoons!

I said spoons.

Spoons, spoons, spoons!

I think we know who
won that little battle of wits.

- Hi, Robbie.
- Ooh.

- How are you feeling?
- Fine.

La, la. Ooh.

Hi.

- What were you
just talking about?
- Uh, uh...

- Spoons!
- Uh, yes, that's right, son.

We were just
discussing flatware.

It's one of a variety of non-threatening
topics for dinner conversation.

- Charlene...
- Yeah?

Tell us more about that
party dress you're interested in.

- What dress?
- That's the one.

Well, I did see a really
nice dress the other day.

It was on... Caroline Foxworth.

Wha... wha...?

Oh, I don't think I've met
her, have I, Charlene?

Oh, you wouldn't
forget her, Mom.

She's the girl with
the really shapely tail.

Charlene, I think there are
other topics we can discuss.

Fran, where did you buy
these delightful napkins?

You know, I think her tail has
really filled out since seventh grade.

Have you noticed how large it
is? I don't know how she sits down.

Whoa! Hello!

Oh, they're so absorbent.

And this lovely floral print
compliments any place setting.

Robbie, are you all right?

I'm... I'm... I'm OK.

Everybody, just leave me alone.

Ah, aah!

Another emotional minefield
successfully navigated.

Earl, that was awful.

Charlene, take your little
brother upstairs right now.

- Oh.
- What you gonna talk about?

Spoons.

- Ooh.
- Come on, come on.

- Spoons.
- You're heavy.

Earl, someone has got to
talk to that boy about mating.

No, they don't.

Then how is he
going to learn about it?

I don't know, he just will.

Somewhere, somehow,
every male learns.

It's a complex system involving
rumors, adult novelty items and limericks.

- That's ridiculous!
- No, it's not.

That's how I
learned about mating,

and I'm pretty darn
competent in that department,

as I'm sure you will agree.

Right, Fran?

Frannie?

Puddin'?

Someone has got to talk
to the boy about mating.

It occurred to me you could teach a
class at school about the mating dance.

I assure you, Mrs. Sinclair,

the mating dance is the last
thing we should be teaching kids.

This school has always operated
under the guiding principle

that if we don't teach
it, they won't do it.

- But what if some
of them do it anyway?
- Let 'em. Nobody can blame us.

How can you be so irresponsible?

I'm not listening!

♪ I'm not listening
La la-la la-la-la...

- Mr. Pullman!
- What?

A lot of kids are experimenting
with the mating dance

without understanding that
it's not just a physical act.

There are consequences
to what they do,

and maybe the school
should help teach them that.

Mrs. Sinclair, this idea of
yours is simply impossible.

And even if I agreed with you,

where would we even find
somebody willing to discuss

such a filthy topic
with our children?

- Good morning, class.
- Morning, Mr. Pullman.

Today we are going to
learn about something

very sensitive and
unsavory... the mating dance.

Oh, this is gonna be rough.

You'll be relieved to
learn that all your teachers

were much too
respectable and uptight

to involve themselves
with such filth.

So we've brought in
an outside speaker.

Hi, everybody.

- Huh?
- I'm Mrs. Sinclair,

but you can call me Fran...

or Mom.

Now I want to make it
clear right from the start

that I am not advocating that you
youngsters engage in the mating dance.

Personally, I believe that the
mating dance is most appropriate

within the confines of a loving,
monogamous relationship,

preferably marriage.

Of course marriage is a
few years away for you.

Right now it's very
frustrating, as I'm well aware.

Say the word, I'll
pull the fire alarm.

In Putting together this class,

I couldn't find any
suitable reading material.

However, the school has provided
us this instructional film from the navy.

Could someone get the lights?

The Pangaea Department
of the Navy presents

an instructional film on naval hygiene:
Cankers Aweigh!, or Down Periscope!

Hey, sailor, goin' ashore?

Oh, you betcha, sir. I want to
hit one of the local dance halls.

I hear the native girls do the
hoochie-coochie somethin' wild.

Come about, swabbie!

Don't you know
those waltzing Matildas

can give you a mating
dance-related injury?

Nah. That would
never happen to me.

That would happen
to the other guy.

That's where
you're wrong, sailor.

Mating dance-related injuries
have reached epidemic proportions.

You could be next.

This is valuable
information. Tell me more.

Well, we all know the mating
dance is most appropriate

within the confines of a loving,
monogamous relationship,

preferably marriage. But if you
are going to dance with a stranger,

- always use protective
footwear.
- Aw, come on, captain!

I don't have to worry.
Nothing's gonna happen to me.

Heh, that's what
Ensign Doyle thought.

- Who?
- Hey, Doyle, come here
and show this fella

what a mating dance-related
injury looks like if left untreated.

Oh, dear. I had no idea
it was that kind of film.

I hoped it gave more information
about the mating dance itself.

Well, I guess that's up to me.

All right, here it is.

She's gonna show
us the whole thing.

Bada bing!

Now, this is the
physical act itself,

but more important
are the feelings

that are such an essential
part of the mating experience.

Each of you has very
deep and personal thoughts

that you may be confused about,

and it may help to talk
about them right here in class.

Now, who wants to begin?

No.

Let's start with...

No!

Earl, you wouldn't
believe how bright the kids

in Robbie's class are.

They asked so many
interesting questions.

Although, Robbie,
you were rather quiet.

Was it embarrassing for you
to have me teaching the class?

A little, yeah.

Now that you mention
it, today was probably

the single most excruciatingly
painful, humiliating day

I will ever experience
for the rest of my life!

But wait! You're
coming back tomorrow!

Ha! Just show up every day.

Earl, what are you laughing at?

Fran, dear,

I want to try to
be big about this.

You thought we should bring
Robbie's problem out in the open.

I said we should leave it
buried where it could do no harm.

Now let's consider for a moment

who might be incredibly right

and who might be
wrong, wrong, wrong.

Don't you dare get smug
with me at a time like this!

Smug? Moi?

I wonder if I should
go and talk to him.

Fran, hon, see if
you can follow this.

Talking: bad.

Not talking: not bad.

And to ensure we do no
further damage as parents,

I suggest we sit right here

and watch some good,
non-confrontational domestic comedy.

Yeah.

And now, back to
Totally Ineffectual Dad.

Aah!

Honey, I'm concerned
about Eddie.

He seems to be on fire.
Shouldn't we talk to him?

I don't know, sweetheart.
What if I say the wrong thing?

I gotta stop thinking
about this stuff.

I... I gotta clear my mind.

Hello, and welcome to the 12th
Annual Southern Pangaea Flower Show

and Wet T-shirt
Contest! We've got lots...

Girls, girls, girls!

Hi, I'm Mandy.

I love to do the mating
dance, but I'm all alone.

Why don't you call me

and we can do the
mating dance together,

discretely, over the phone.

And we can dance,
dance, dance all night.

Mom!

Oh, there's nothing to
be embarrassed about.

It's perfectly natural what,
um, what, uh, you're doing.

And she walks in
right then. It was awful.

- Ouch.
- Well, that's it.

I'm never going home again.

From now on I'll just
live here at school.

Ah. You've obviously
thought this out carefully.

Mmm, but if I might
inject a moment of reality...

- What?
- It won't help.

There are hormonal pressures
of a frightening magnitude

welling up inside of you.

You try to ignore them,
your feet could explode.

What am I supposed to do?

Well, you got a choice.

You can either wait a few
years till you find the right girl,

win her heart, forge
a loving, sacred bond

that'll last a lifetime,

or you can cha-cha
tonight for a dollar a dance.

It's been hours and we
don't even know where he is.

I've never seen him so angry.
He's never spoken to me that way.

That's because you spoke to him.

You speak, you get spoken to.

The only reason
he's out there at all

is because you didn't
do your job as a father.

There are some things a boy
can't discuss with his mother.

He needed you,
and you let him down.

Huh?

Oh.

Jeez.

Huh?

- Mom, Dad, help!
- Oh, honey,

Eddie tried to put out the fire
himself by jumping in the river.

See? It's best we don't
interfere with these matters.

But he doesn't know how to
swim. You never taught him.

Let him learn to swim
the way I did, in the street.

Tune in next week for the
hilarious funeral episode

on Totally Ineffectual Dad.

Fran?

I'm just going out
for a little walk.

So, sailor, you interested
in a mating dance?

Well, sure. Heh. What'll
four dollars buy me?

- That'll get you a tango.
- Ooh!

- But I don't dip.
- Oh.

Are you sure we
should be doing this?

Hey, Scooter, there
is nothing wrong

with taking one of life's most
personal and intimate experiences

and putting a cash value on it.

And that's what separates
us from the animals.

Fine, fine.

I just want to
get this over with.

I don't want to be led around
by my feet the rest of my life.

Come on. Boys.

Hi, boys.

- Uh, hello, ladies.
- Hi.

Hey, hey, I want you to meet
a very good friend of mine...

Uh, Jones. Robbie
Jones, uh, from out of town.

I don't even live around
here. I'm from... far away.

We don't even have a phone.

Well, hey, sweet pea,
you come with me.

Mama's gonna help you
break in those new shoes.

Spike, help!

Good luck, Mr. Jones.

Don't trip on your laces.

So, uh, gee, I didn't even
know about this place.

- Uh, has it been here long?
- Well, actually,
it just opened.

This is the world's
youngest profession.

So, what do you have
in mind, sweetness?

We can do you a nice foxtrot
or twirl you around the room.

Um, gee, I don't know.
Whatever you think.

Uh, I guess I'll have the usual.

Why, bless your heart.

This is your first
dance, isn't it, darling?

Hey, no, wait,
I do this a lot...

Now don't worry, honey.
We'll take it nice and slow.

- OK. Oof!
- I'll lead. Stay with me,
sweetheart.

You know the steps.
And front together

- and side together...
- I don't know what I'm doing!

Relax, honey. Enjoy yourself.

You young boys dance
too fast. And front together...

No, no, I can't!
I can't do this!

Sorry if I've wasted your time.

Look, this just
doesn't feel right.

Well, I never thought
about it before.

Maybe you got a point.

Um, the mating dance
is most appropriate

within the confines of a loving,
monogamous relationship,

- preferably marriage.
- I'm really sorry.

Oh, no, no. You've given
me something to think about.

Number 34!

Robbie.

Dad.

Uh, what are you doing here?

I came to talk with
you, father to son.

How'd you know where I was?

Oh, please, give your
old man a little credit.

Ahh!

Look, I just want you to
know that you're not alone,

and I want to share the
wisdom and experience

I've gained over many
years about the mating dance.

At this point I could
use some advice.

All right.

I once saw this
film in the navy...

Seen it.

- Oh. Did it help?
- No.

No, me neither.

Boy, life was easier
in the old days.

By the time your son got to the
age where he asked difficult questions

you were dead, mercifully killed
by something bigger than you.

What happened to their sons?

Didn't much matter.
They'd be dead soon too.

Boy, those were the days.

But... But what am I
supposed to do today, Dad?

I keep wanting to dance but
everybody tells me I'm not supposed to.

That's because modern
society has determined

- there's a proper
time and place...
- I know, I know.

The mating dance is most
appropriate within the confines

of a loving monogamous
relationship, preferably marriage.

Yep. Sometimes not even then.

The whole thing's
pretty confusing, son.

That's why I wasn't real
enthusiastic about talking with you.

Don't tell your mom, but I'm not
sure I have all the answers either.

That's all right, Dad. It's just
good to know I'm not alone.

Look, you're dancing because
your body is ready for something

your mind's not
ready to handle yet,

- and won't be
for a good many years.
- Years?

So what do I do in the meantime?

In a word... sports.

Get a ball, a racket, some pads,

and run around the track
till you're so exhausted

you can't possibly
think of anything else.

Believe me, it works.

Now come on, son, let's go home.

OK. Oh, Dad, I was wondering,

do females go through
the same things we do?

Well, now, your mother's a bit
more knowledgeable in that area,

and I know she'd
like to talk with you.

- Yeah, OK.
- 'Cause I know you and your mom
had a little run-in,

but she's pretty smart and
can give you some good tips.

- And if she does...
- Yeah?

Pass 'em along to me.

Come on, Dad.