Original subtitles

So, class, we know that when water occurs in a gaseous form,

we call it steam.

And in its frozen form, we refer to it as...

- Oh, I know. I know. - Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh.

Miss Schneider.

- Um... Ice. - Yes, very good.

And, of course, when that ice melts and returns to its liquid form,

it is once again known as...

Charlene Sinclair.

What?

What was once ice, when melted, is called...

Sorry. No idea.

I see.

Sorry to have bothered you, Charlene.

It's OK.

- All right, that's all for today. - Ah!

Tonight's homework assignment is, uh...

Ah... I'll tell you what.

Let's try something fun and different.

Perhaps this will even prove inspiring to Miss Sinclair.

Oh, great.

I want each of you to come up with your own original idea.

Something new and interesting about the world around you.

Something no one ever thought of before.

- Uh, uh. Yoo-hoo. - Ah, Miss Sinclair,

something to contribute already.

Yes. I don't get it.

I mean, we have to come up with our own idea?

Wouldn't it be better if you just told us exactly what to do as usual?

You know, build a corpuscle, write a poem about raccoons?

Miss Sinclair, I don't think a little original thinking will do you any harm.

- Well, yeah, but... - So, unless you want to repeat

this class in summer school, I suggest you put your brain in gear

and come up with a totally original idea.

Totally original idea.-

Miss Sinclair?

Somebody call the nurse!

Honey, I'm home.

Aaah!

- Ohh! - Ow!

- Ow! - Ooh!

Aah!

There. All done.

- You are? - Yeah.

Well, isn't that beautiful.

Earl, look what your talented son drew.

Isn't this the most beautiful picture you ever saw?

Hmm? Yeah, that's great.

- It's important to encourage a child. - Yeah.

I do, Fran, when he deserves it. But, come on.

That thing's just an ugly, stupid, shapeless green blob.

I call it "Daddy."

We're going to put this picture of Daddy right here on the refrigerator.

Daddy, I have a note for you to sign for school.

- OK. - Earl, did you read it?

Hmm? Hmm?

Um, well, now, let's take a look at this so-called "note."

OK.

"Please excuse Charlene Sinclair from her homework assignment,

insofar as she is not smart enough to do it."

No problem here.

- Earl. - Hmm?

Charlene is certainly intelligent enough

- to do any school assignment. - Ma!

Come on, Fran. This is me you're talking to.

What kind of assignment is it?

Oh, it's an unfair, stupid hard one.

He wants us to come up with our own original idea, all by ourselves.

Sounds to me like you're in trouble.

- Yeah. - An original idea?

- Yeah. - That shouldn't be too hard.

For most students.

But, let's face it, Fran, she's not the brightest kid in the world.

- True. - I'd have to agree with you there.

Me too.

We've all learned to accept it, Mom. Why can't you?

Charlene Sinclair, you are not stupid

and there is no reason you can't do this assignment.

Just look within yourself,

and I know you'll find marvelous, innovative ideas

just ready to burst in all directions

like a... beautiful fountain.

- Oh, brother. - Oh, boy.

"Dear Mr. Pullman, please accept the enclosed cash

in lieu of an original idea.

I know six dollars isn't a lot of money..."

No, that'll never work.

I bet teachers make a ton of money.

I just need one good idea.

I've got a very good idea.

How did you get in here?

I've come to help you with your original idea.

- I'm a muse. - A what?

A muse! Muses are the spirits of inspiration.

We provide original ideas to those who need them.

Original ideas, huh? Oh, that's, uh, really interesting.

Hit the bricks, pal!

- You don't understand. - Oh, I understand pretty good.

I don't know how you got into my room,

but those angel wings aren't fooling anybody.

Don't worry, it'll only take a minute.

And when I'm done, you won't even remember me.

Yeah, I've heard that line before.

I'm counting to five, and then I'll scream.

One, two...

But I've got an original idea I think you'll really like.

I've also heard that one. Three...

OK, OK. Here it is.

- The world is round. - What?

You know how everybody believes the world is flat, like a pancake?

Well, they're all wrong.

The world is actually round, like an orange.

- The world is an orange. Hmm. - Mm-hmm.

- And...? - "And?"

Well, that's it. It's a great idea.

- It's one of my best ones. - Yeah, but, but...

What kind of orange? Is it a navel, or a juicer, what?

Look, just sleep on it, hmm?

In the morning, the idea will come to you again

and you won't remember where you got it. Get it?

- Got it. - Good.

I must say, I really thought you'd catch on to this

a little quicker, Copernicus.

What? My name's not Copernicus.

I'm Charlene Sinclair.

You're not Copernicus?

This isn't 16th century Poland?

Oh, boy, I screwed up.

Charlene Sinclair was supposed to get a brownie recipe, and...

I gotta go.

Behold, my greatest discovery.

Fudge-nut brownies.

I get to lick the bowl!

All done. Here.

And it's beautiful.

So, where you gonna hang it?

Oh, um, I don't know.

The refrigerator is all full.

Oh. Buy another refrigerator. Problem solved, back to work.

OK, son, I fixed it. Go ahead and turn on the fuse.

OK, Dad.

- Good morning, everybody. - Good morning, Charlene.

How'd we do on that original idea?

The only idea I've got is to fail high school,

ruin my life, and end up a complete loser.

Uh, honey, I think others have thought of that before you.

You still have time before class.

Maybe a good breakfast will inspire you.

I made pancakes.

Oh, no thanks, Mom. I think I'll just grab an orange.

Uh... Aha.

Hmm...

That's it. That's it! It's round.

- Well, it's an orange. - No, the world. It's round.

That's why ships at sea disappear over the horizon.

And why the earth's shadow on the moon is round...

round during an eclipse. And so...

Our traditional view of the earth as flat is wrong.

And if that is wrong, then all our accepted views

of our place in the solar system should also be questioned.

Thank you. The end.

500 words exactly.

Miss Sinclair, I congratulate you.

The world is round.

This does my heart good.

It's the kind of bold, original thinking

a teacher seldom sees in the classroom.

Huh?

Charlene Sinclair, you're under arrest for heresy.

Of course, there's probably a good reason for that.

Order in the court. Order!

All right, present the next filthy evildoer, please.

"Evildoer," Your Honor?

Oh, I did it again, didn't I?

I mean the next, uh, defendant.

The state versus Charlene Sinclair.

The charge is heresy.

- Heresy? - Why, yes, Your Honor.

This is the little girl who believes that the world is round,

flying in the face of everything our society holds as sacred truth.

A round world? How appalling! It's so unconventional.

Guilty.

But, sir, we haven't had the trial yet.

Well, get on with it, then. I'm way ahead of you.

She's just a child, Earl.

How could this happen?

Oh, geez, Fran, now let me think.

One of us was against this original idea thing

and one of us was for it.

Now, if memory serves me...

Earl, your daughter is rotting in a jail cell.

This is no time for petty bickering over who was right!

Oh, absolutely, Fran. Absolutely.

It was me.

There she is.

- Oh, oh, Mom. - Oh, Charlene.

Oh, are you all right?

Oh, Mommy, it was horrible.

And look how thin. You're emaciated.

You really think so? Hmm.

Hey, hey. Now pay attention.

I've worked out a clever plan for getting you off, Charlene.

- Oh. - Now...

- Repeat after me. - Yeah.

I'm very, very sorry.

I'm very, very sorry?

H-hey! You got it.

Now, just take everything back,

tell the judge you didn't mean it,

you don't care what shape the world is,

and then just compliment him on his robes.

Earl, you can't just ask her to take it all back.

Just tell him it was a joke.

Not a particularly funny joke,

but you're not a professional entertainer.

This is the first time in my life

I ever came up with a truly original idea.

And I'm not just gonna pretend it never happened.

You just keep quiet.

These legal sharks will eat you alive.

You just thank your lucky stars that your old dad's got the grit

to go toe-to-toe with these guys.

- Yeah. - Yeah. Hey, Your Honor...

- Quiet! - Okeydoke.

Are we ready with the first witness, please?

The prosecution calls Lieutenant Riley

from the police classroom squad.

I was workin' the day watch for the P.C. squad.

- P.C. squad? - Uh, police classroom squad.

- Oh. - We monitor schoolrooms

to guard against ideas of a dangerous or provocative nature,

anything that might undermine our sacred freedom.

And you accomplished this with...?

Oh, microphones, hidden camera, paid informants.

It was then that I clearly overheard Miss Sinclair,

the enemy of the state...

Hey!

Shh.

Sorry. The alleged enemy of the state...

Yeah.

I heard her let loose with her repellant opinions

regarding the citrus-like shape of our planet.

Dad, say something.

Uh, Your Honor, if I may address the court...

- No. - Nothing further.

What?

I could clearly see from the surveillance video

that she was expressing theories

which contradict the widely-held beliefs of the majority.

Disagreeing with the majority...

in a democracy?

Well, that settles it for me.

Let's get straight to the sentencing and catch an early lunch.

What about my defense?

Charlene, don't get him angry.

I'd like to say something in my own defense, please.

Haven't you said enough already,

Miss round earth, heretical troublemaker?

- Those are lovely robes, sir. - And who are you?

Oh, I'm Earl Sinclair, acting defense counsel and father of the guilty party.

- Dad. - And we'd like to plead...

temporary intelligence, Your Honor.

- Earl, what are you doing? - Shh.

Charlene has never had an intelligent thought before.

- But... - And if you let her off,

- I promise it'll never happen again. - Daddy!

Shut up. Daddy's tryin' to save your bacon.

- No! - Huh?

No, I'm tired of being told to shut up

like I'm stupid or something.

I have good ideas.

And I'm not gonna change my ideas,

just because everybody says I'm wrong.

How do you know the world isn't round anyway?

Order! Order!

Order! Order!

No. Everybody, cover your ears.

Anybody who listens to her is an accomplice.

Mom, this isn't going well, is it?

Just you hang on, sweetheart.

Your brother is working on something that will really help your case.

- What is it? - A surprise witness.

Well, this is certainly a surprise.

I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important, Mr. Pullman.

You've gotta testify for Charlene.

Charlene? You mean that notorious enemy of the state?

I think we've all learned a valuable lesson

from her misguided foray into independent thought.

What are you talking about? You said yourself

that her report was really good.

Whoa.

You know I never said anything like that.

You're just making a very funny joke, aren't you?

But...

Excuse me, Mr. Pullman.

Ah, Miss Schneider,

you're here perhaps to hand in a homework assignment

or something else equally benign.

Well, actually I have a question

about our new government-sanctioned textbook.

Oh, dear, this can't be good.

I'm just confused by the chapter

on the origin of species.

It says that dinosaurs did not actually evolve from lower life forms,

but just suddenly appeared on Earth as if by magic.

That's right.

Well, then, how do you explain the fossil bones

my daddy dug up in our backyard?

- Yeah. - Oh, my dear,

we don't try to explain them, we don't think about them.

We just politely change the subject and hope it doesn't come up again.

- Oh. - This is wrong.

You can't tell students not to think.

How do you expect anybody to learn anything?

Robert Sinclair, you are under arrest for malicious thinking

and assault on conventional wisdom.

Wow. Great work, Rob.

- At least I tried. - Yeah.

Your Honor, the flatness of the earth

is one of the most hallowed precepts of dinosaur tradition.

Yet there are those among us

who would require some proof that the world is flat.

Fair enough.

Let the record show that I now offer absolute

and unimpeachable evidence...

A guy... in a lab coat.

- Yes, yes. - I'm impressed.

You are an engineer with lots of impressive degrees?

That is correct.

And you work at the Wesayso Corporation?

That is also correct.

The classroom globe division.

And just what have you brought here to show us today?

Only... this!

- Oh, nice. - Scared me for a minute.

And we have a warehouse full of these things.

Proof enough for you, missy? Huh?

Very impressive.

That's it, Fran. We're in trouble now.

Obviously, if a company the size of Wesayso

throws the full weight of its corporate clout

behind the concept of a flat earth...

who are we to question?

Well, I'm sold. Guilty.

Guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty.

God, I love saying that! Guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty.

What's next?

You got to sentence them.

Oh, that's a fun part too.

This job just gets better and better.

Where's my hammer thing?

Excuse me, judge, can I say something?

Oh. Ah. Ooh.

Oh, all right, what is it?

This is it, honey. One last chance.

I'm very, very sorry.

Yeah.

I just want to say that I'm very, very sorry

if I upset a lot of people with my radical new theory.

Maybe I am wrong about the earth being round.

Fran, look at the judge. I think she's winning him over.

But, what if I'm right?

And... she lost him again.

Shouldn't I be able to say what I believe?

If someone with a new idea isn't permitted to speak,

a great truth could be lost forever.

- Hmm... - I believe there should be a...

a law that guarantees everybody the right to say what they think,

no matter how unpopular their ideas might be.

- Free speech. - Yeah.

That sounds like an original idea to me.

Not you too, Fran.

- I got a family full of fanatics. - I'm with Charlene.

From now on, no matter what the consequences,

nothing is going to stop me from exercising my right of free speech.

I condemn you to 40 years in a salt mine.

Suddenly, I'm all talked out.

This would be a very opportune time for one of your famous original ideas.

Yeah. Your Honor?

Hmm?

Instead of sending us to the salt mines,

why don't you just sentence us both to death?

Well, they can't all be gems.

Death? I like the sound of that.

You are hereby condemned to death.

You've got a lot to learn about plea-bargaining, young lady.

- Charlene, what are you doing? - Mom, you gotta trust me.

Robbie and I are gonna be OK.

I have an idea.

Oh, here we go again!

Do you trust me, Mom?

I want to, sweetheart.

Uh, Your Honor, may I be allowed to choose the method of execution?

Of course. Never forget, this is your legal system.

Thank you, Your Honor.

- Going on a trip? - Yeah, kind of.

I made you a present.

Thanks, pal.

When you coming back?

Uh... uh...

They'll be back real soon, sweetheart.

Yeah, that's right, little guy.

They'll be back before you know it.

Oh, Earl, Charlene has a plan, and I believe in her.

Oh, Charlene has a plan?

Our children's lives hang in the balance, but Charlene has a plan.

Well, I'm gonna go stretch out in the hammock

because everything is hunky-dory here.

Are you nuts?!

Dad, we are gonna be all right.

- Don't you have faith in me? - It is now time to carry out

the sentence of the court.

Charlene and Robert Sinclair, you are hereby condemned,

as was requested, to be put to death

by being thrown off the edge of our flat world into the great void beyond.

We're ready.

Oh, honey.

- Oh, Daddy. - Eh...

- Let's go. - Yeah, bye.

Bye.

Surprise! We're back!

We're back!

Robbie, it's a miracle! You're back!

Mom!

Welcome back. Who are you?

Hey, Dad, what do you know? Charlene was right.

They couldn't throw us off the edge of the world because there isn't one.

We walked all the way around.

It's like an orange, only bigger, right?

- Uh-huh. - Oh, I should have had faith in you, little girl.

- Aw... - I didn't think you were so smart.

But you proved you are.

You proved all those other guys wrong,

- including your old dad. - Yeah, yeah, she's right.

The world is an orange. All our beliefs are wrong.

Look, you don't say anything about it, I won't say anything about it.

Yes, but, now I know I'm right.

Now I know that if you believe in your heart that something is true,

that belief is more important than anything,

and you must never let anyone destroy it.

Eighty days chained to that.

If we had found the edge of the world,

I would have jumped off.

Good luck to you.

- Bye, Riley. - Bye.

I've been expecting you. I made your favorite dinner.

You knew we were coming home tonight?

- I made it every night. - Yep.

Eighty consecutive nights of meatloaf.

No one was praying for your return more than me.

Let's eat. I'm starved.