Original subtitles

- Mama! - Hmm?

Want cookie.

You may have a cookie when you've finished your dinner.

- Aw! - La-la!

Oh, Mom, we're gonna be late for my play if we don't leave now.

Just a minute.

You know I'm the lead wood nymph.

If I'm not there,

the enchanted forest thing goes right down the toilet.

Fran, I have been waiting in that car with your mother for ten minutes.

Just your mother and me, in the car,

ten minutes.

- I'm on my way. - Thank you.

- Robbie, we're leaving. - OK.

Now, honey, your brother is finishing his dinner,

so no cookies for him

- till he cleans his plate. - Want cookie.

You sure you don't mind having to stay here and babysit?

To avoid Charlene's play,

I'd be willing to throw myself down the stairs,

sustain severe head injuries

and eat through a tube the rest of my life.

That's sweet, dear.

- Bye! - Bye.

Huh?

Freeze!

Set the cookie down.

I'm in charge and I'm telling you, put the cookie down.

Hey, uh-uh. Don't you even think about it.

Very good. Nice and slow. That's it.

Hey, I told you not to do that.

Come on, spit it out! Come on, spit it out.

Don't you swallow. Don't you dare swallow.

Huh?

Are you OK?

Baby, little guy, come on.

Come on, swallow! I'm sorry I yelled at you.

Please don't...

Put your arms up! Lift your arms, come on, now breathe!

Swallow! You're not breathing, you're not breathing!

Swallow! Huh?

Oh, no, what did I do?

Oh, OK, OK, OK, OK! You can have the cookie!

Honey, I'm home!

Aaah!

- Ohh! - Ow!

- Ow! - Ooh!

Aah!

Oh, no! What did I do?

Aw, come on, little guy. Please, please. Aw, jeez!

What am I gonna do? Ah.

No, Mom and Dad are gonna kill me.

You gotta wake up. Please.

Oh, come on, I gotta do something.

I'll call an ambulance.

What is that emergency number? What is it?

- Nine-one-one! - Nine-one-one.

Uh...

Hello. Hello, Emergency?

Yeah, I wanna report a dead baby dinosaur.

What happened? Well, he pretended to choke

on a cookie and when his big brother found out he was faking,

he beat the tar out of him.

Hey, that was a dirty trick. I was really scared.

Don't you laugh at this.

Hey, don't you scare me like that again.

Scaring someone like that is not funny at all.

Yes, it is! I scared you! Ha-ha!

You think you're funny.

- I'm a scream! - You're going to bed.

No, no, no, no. Not bed, not sleepy. Tell me a story.

After what you just pulled? You're going straight to bed.

Story, story, story!

- Hmm, you want a story? - Yeah.

OK, I'll tell you a story.

And you like the scary stuff, right?

- Uh-huh. - OK.

How about if we make it a scary story?

Ooh...

Yeah, scary story!

OK, this is a totally true story that happened on an autumn night

- just like this one. - Uh-huh.

There was a full moon in the sky, and a cold wind in the air.

I was walking this girl home from a date...

Gosh, Robbie, it's really nice of you to walk me home,

but why do we take a shortcut through a graveyard?

Don't you think it's kind of romantic?

Romantic?

Are you nuts? It's a graveyard!

Oh, yeah.

But don't you think it's got a kind of... mood?

Yeah, a real creepy mood.

Aw.

Isn't this where those kids got attacked by cavemen?

- Oh, that story? - Yeah.

Well, little lady, if there's a rabid caveman here,

and I highly doubt it,

you needn't worry because Robbie Sinclair is here to protect you.

Ah!

Oof!

Hey, hey, come here, you!

Yeah, you're pretty good at beating up girls!

Let's see how you do with somebody your own size!

Oof!

That... That was pretty respectable.

So what are you gonna do now, smart guy, huh? Huh?

Ow, my arm! My arm! Ow!

Ow!

- Are you all right? - Yeah, I think so.

Oh, Robbie, you were so brave.

- Huh? - You saved my life.

Well, I guess I did, didn't I?

- Oh, your arm! - Oh, no.

- Is it bad? - No, it's just a scratch.

- Oh! - Uh, a really big scratch

- that bleeds a whole lot. - Oh, Robbie!

Don't worry about me. Let's get you home, huh?

All right... Huh?

He bit you? Were you all right?

I wasn't sure.

The wound the caveman gave me was like nothing I'd ever seen.

- Did you wash it with soap and water? - I did.

But the strange thing was...

it wouldn't heal.

- Get out of here! - No doctor could help me.

But there was one dinosaur who knew of such things.

Who?

The oldest and wisest dinosaur in the land.

Excuse me.

You have come for advice to ease the torment in your soul.

Wow! How did you know that?

Not many guys come out here just to shoot the breeze.

I see your point.

So I've come to see you because I was bitten

by a caveman last night near the old graveyard.

Did you wash with soap and water?

- Yes. - Let me see the wound.

Oh, um...

- Here. - Oh...

A strange mark appeared on my hand.

Yes, I have seen this kind of mark before.

- Huh? - It means...

you may re-enter the amusement park at any time

without paying a second admission.

No, no, no, not that mark. This one.

Oh!

- This one's not so good. - Huh?

It is the sign of the pentagram.

- You were bitten by... - Yeah, but just by a caveman.

Not a caveman. A wereman.

- What? - A wereman is a creature

- that is cursed! - Huh?

A dinosaur who turns into a caveman when the moon is full.

But... What's gonna happen to me?

More bad news. Now the curse has passed to you.

Now you will change

at the coming of the full moon.

You will thirst only for the blood of innocent ones.

Yeah, but there must be a way to stop it.

There is only one way.

You must strike yourself senseless with a club of the purest silver.

Uh, a club of silver? And then I'm cured?

Of the curse, you're cured.

But the extensive facial and internal organ damage, oh, boy!

Oh, no!

- The moon's coming up! - Then hurry!

Hurry, that you may save yourself.

- Yeah! - Remember, a silver club!

Solid silver, not plate.

Go to a reputable dealer.

I have a cousin!

I raced home, desperate to rid myself of the terrible curse.

I had little time before the full moon would rise again.

And my only hope lay in finding a silver club

with which to beat myself senseless.

Unfortunately, the stores were all out.

So I had to make due with a spoon.

This could take hours.

Huh?

Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh.

Ow, ow, ow, ow!

Hey, you wanna turn that down? I'm on the phone here.

I can't gossip without you interrupting...

Ah!

What's happening to me?

What happened? What happened?

The curse of the wereman was upon me.

Slowly and painfully, my body was transforming

into that of a ferocious, vicious caveman,

with hair growing out of me everywhere!

Aah!

- Scared yet? - No.

Good, 'cause now it gets really scary.

- Oh... - So that night, as the wereman,

I went into a terrible rampage!

I want one of these, two of those, one of this.

If Mom knew we were cheating on our diets,

- she'd have a cow. - Moo!

- I told you she'd be mad. - Oh...

Hi, Fran. We didn't think you'd be up this late.

Ah!

Oh!

Jeez, Fran, um, how can I say this delicately?

You look, uh...

Like a stinking, hairy caveman. Yuck.

You have a lot to learn about tact.

Well, I'm pretty sure it's not Mom.

Kill it, Daddy. Kill it!

- Oh, yeah, right. Get away! - Come on!

Shoo! Off with you now! Go on, out of here!

- Get going! Get out! Beat it! - Ha!

- What was that? - Oh, some sort of strange

inexplicable creature, half-human,

and yet with a weird dinosaur-like quality.

It's like nothing we've ever seen before.

- What should we do? - Hunt it down and kill it.

Uh-huh! I'll call the angry mob.

Oh, oh, the number's on the fridge.

- Thanks. - Sure.

Then what happened?

I roamed the night,

desperately thirsting for the blood of a dinosaur.

Any dinosaur.

He loves me.

He loves me not.

He love...

Oh!

Wait.

I know you.

Somehow.

- Look, there it is! - Yeah.

Let's kill the monster we don't understand and therefore fear.

Yeah! Let's get it.

As I ran from the mob like a hunted beast,

it dawned on me I had almost killed

the one dinosaur that I truly loved!

Or at least had gotten to second base with.

And then the true horror of my fate swept over me.

I was doomed to relive this nightmare night after night.

Stalking the earth.

Thirsting for the blood of innocent dinosaurs.

- Scared yet? - No way!

- Can't scare me! - Oh, yeah?

Well, there is something I forgot to mention.

- What? - The old gypsy in the woods

had said there were two ways to end the curse.

- No, she didn't! - Yes, she did.

You just forgot.

So I went to the forest to find her again.

Why have you returned?

You have to help me!

You said there was another way to end the curse.

- I did? - Yes, remember?

Oh. Oh, right. The other method for removing the curse.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

I can't tell you. It's too horrible.

I don't care. You must tell me!

Nothing could be more horrible than this living hell!

All right.

I will tell you the extremely horrible and scary way.

- Come closer. - Huh?

The only other way to end the curse of the wereman is this:

You must eat the toes of a bad baby dinosaur

who won't go to sleep when he's told.

- What? - You must eat the toes

of a bad baby dinosaur who won't go to sleep when he's told.

All of them?

All of them. Even the piggy toes.

And that is what she told me, just one hour ago.

- Huh? - That's right!

- It's not a story at all. - Not a story?

No, it's all true.

And now we both know what I must do to end my life of torment.

- What? - You understand, don't you?

No!

That's why I sent them to the play.

Huh?

Why I stayed home with you tonight.

Look, the moon is rising. It is full.

Soon, I will become the wereman.

- I must act now. - Oops.

Dropped my doll. Get it, please.

Sure, little buddy. It's right down here.

Right near your toes.

I got ya. I got ya good. How does it feel?

Hey. Hey, where'd you go?

Uh, um... Uh...

Hey, come on, I was only kidding.

- Where are you? - My toes, my toes!

Stay away! Help! Help! Ah!

Hey, hey, hey! I was only making it up.

I just wanted to show you that it isn't funny being scared.

Now come on down!

Come down! Look, it's me, Robbie.

I'm not a wereman. It's only a story.

You're saying that 'cause you want me to come down

so you can eat my toes! And it's a full moon!

And you're gonna turn into a caveman! Help! Help!

Mama! Mama!

No, no, no, look! I just made it up. It's not true.

Yes, it is. Mommy!

OK, look, look, look. If you come down,

- I'll give you a cookie. - Mommy!

I'll give you all the cookies.

- OK, let's talk. - OK. Look.

- Here's the cookie jar, and... - It's empty!

- You promised. Mommy! - No, no, no. Wait. Look, look.

I'll get you some cookies and candy, I swear!

Where?

- Uh, at the store. - Store's closed.

All right, all right, look.

I'll go next door and ask them for candy.

What if they don't have it?

Uh, then I'll go from house to house to house begging for candy

until I get you a whole bagful, OK? Now, will you come down?

For Pete's sake.

Who could be at the door at this hour?

Eh, should have known.

- Hi, sir. - Hi.

I was wondering if we could have candy.

- Yeah. - What is this, some kind of trick?

No, no.

- It's a treat for the Baby. - Yeah!

You Sinclair kids come around here at this hour

of the night on, what is this, the 31st of October,

and expect me to give you candy?

- Yeah. - Get lost!

- Oh! - Gee.

Maybe next time, we should wear costumes.

Nah!

First up, new music by Road Kyll.

This is from their smashing new debut album,

Guts on the Grill.

This is the single, Doe, a Deer, a Big Dead Deer.

Stop it! Quiet!

Hold on, hold on.

- What's with you? - Don't wanna hear that.

Want something good.

Well, I hardly think you're in the position to do any... Ow!

Oh! All right.

All right. Uh, what do you want?

I wanna sing!

- You don't have a song. - Yes, I do.

This is highly irregular.

Whoa! Uh! All right. All right, all right.

OK. Um...

Here is the, um, baby with...

a song of some sort.

Kick it!

♪ I'm the baby Gotta love me ♪

♪ Big purple eyes I'm very cuddly ♪

♪ Especially when I hit my daddy with a frying pan ♪

Fran?

♪ I'm the baby Gotta love me ♪

♪ First I whack you Then you shove me ♪

- Hey! - ♪ Fly across the room ♪

♪ I like it Again! ♪

♪ Mama says it's too much sugar ♪

♪ Daddy is all perplexed ♪

♪ A, B, C, D, E, F ♪

♪ Gee, you never know what I'm gonna do next ♪

Fran!

♪ Wanna see me make a rocket? ♪

♪ Watch me put her tail in a socket ♪

♪ She lights up like a Christmas tree ♪

Don't try this at home!

♪ I'm the Baby and you gotta love me ♪

Everybody!

♪ I'm the Baby Gotta love me ♪

♪ Big purple eyes I'm very cuddly ♪

♪ Don't you think that every home should have one of me? ♪

- Or three! - ♪ I said, jump on the bed ♪

♪ Hit my daddy on the head ♪

♪ Run around the house when they tell me not to ♪

♪ I take every chance to take a poop in my pants ♪

♪ But I'm the Baby and you got to ♪

♪ Da da dee-da Da-da doop-a-doop do-do-do ♪

Yeah!

♪ Do-do-do do da-da Dee-ba-da da-ba-da-ba-da-ba ♪

♪ Do-do-do ♪

♪ I'm the Baby Gotta love me ♪

♪ Don't you wish there were more of me? ♪

♪ Daddy, Mother, brother, sister ♪

♪ I'm the greatest baby in prehistor... ♪

♪ I'm the baby and you gotta love ♪

♪ I'm the baby and you gotta love ♪

♪ I'm the baby and you gotta love me ♪

Gotta love me!