Original subtitles

Honey, I'm home.

What?

The evil Dr. Bad is up to no good again.

Is there no one who can one save us?

Look!

It's Captain Action Figure!

Yay!

Stand back, kids.

This calls for my Captain Action Figure

Laser-Sighted Bazooka Blaster!

Wow!

Want that!

Is this available in stores everywhere?

It sure is, Jeffy.

Does it come with a utility belt

and limited supply of action ammo?

Sold separately.

Want that!

How long is this commercial?

Not a commercial. Children's programming!

Ha! Yeah!

That's it!

Oh... Want that!

No. The TV is off!

I refuse to have you exposed

to one advertisement after another.

Here, have a snack.

Oooh.

Want that!

Robbie, what happened?

Nothing. Everything's fine.

Ooh.

Was it that wild pack again?

No, no.

I hurt myself studying.

Robbie, if there are boys out there

roving around in packs, causing trouble,

I want to know about it!

Hey, you waxed the table.

I can see myself.

Hi, Mom, I'm home!

Hey, Rob, I found your science book in the street.

I think it's yours. It didn't have your name in it,

but this is your blood, right?

Uh-huh.

Thought so.

So, what's for dinner? I'm starved!

Charlene, do you know what happened to your brother?

Who doesn't?

A wild pack mopped up the street with him.

Tell me what actually happened.

They actually mopped up the street with him.

They actually picked him up by his feet

and dipped his head in the swamp

and actually dragged him up and down the street,

which, I must say, is cleaner than it's ever been.

Thanks.

- Hello, my sweet. - Hi, Dad.

So, what minor domestic problem

awaits my immediate solution?

Earl, one of those packs beat up Robbie again.

Yeah, well, what are you gonna do?

They attacked him!

- Are they finished attacking him? - Yes.

Let's get him off the table and dinner on it.

If you're not going to do anything about it, I am!

- Robbie... - Aah!

Give me the names of the boys that did this.

I'm going to call each and every one's mother.

Mom, at least let me escape

with a shred of dignity.

- Ohh! - Ow!

Fran, if you get on the phone right now,

what are you teaching this boy?

That conflict can be resolved

by rational discussion among reasonable adults.

Why don't you just send him skipping out on the street

- with bows on his head? - Oh!

Face it, Fran,

the boy's got to learn to fight his own fights.

And what if he gets killed?

Then I guess I'll owe you an apology.

Yo, yo, back to neutral corners, Mr. and Mrs.

I was so concerned when news reached me

of young Robert's unfortunate escapade

that I decided I would pop around

to see how the patient was doing.

Why, that's very sweet, Spike. Um...

Would you like to stay for dinner?

Well, I don't want to impose.

Oh, no, no, no, no!

You're not imposing, 'cause you're not invited.

It's been the longest time

since I had a home-cooked meal.

Yeah, well, we don't want to be the ones that break that streak, so...

- Huh? - Goodbye.

Out the door you go.

Come on. I need to talk to you anyway someplace else.

Far away.

Robbie, what about dinner?

I'll eat it when my teeth grow back.

Oh!

I got to tell you, Spike,

I'm getting real tired of guys beating me up.

Have you ever considered fighting back?

There were eight of them! How am I supposed to beat up a whole pack?

I'd need a pack of my own.

Well, there you go! You could call them

the Westside Shrieking Mama's Boys.

I wanna join your pack. I wanna join the Scavengers.

Hey, whoa, whoa, Sparky!

Not possible.

Why not?

We have standards.

Like what?

Well, first of all,

a certain level of viciousness is required.

Hey, I can be vicious.

I also hear you can be a mop.

OK, all right, so I'll be the quiet, thoughtful one

who keeps track of the paperwork.

That's very nice,

but we are not currently interviewing

for clerical positions.

Hey, hey, wait, come on.

You gotta get me into the Scavengers.

You're my friend.

- No, I'm not. - Yes, you are!

Fine, we're friends.

Now, strictly as a friend, what's in it for me?

Uh, well, the satisfaction of helping out a bud in trouble.

Funny, but somehow I long for more.

I don't have any money.

How about you inviting me over to dinner at your house?

Sure. When?

Oh, say, every night around 6:00. Heh!

Ah, here we are.

Boy, what a dump.

Hey, this happens to be home to the Scavengers,

and those guys in there are my family.

Well, one of your family just ate the head off a goat.

Now the leader of the pack is a guy named Andre.

He's psychotic, he's vicious,

and delightfully unpredictable.

What's the secret violent act?

Ding-dong.

Brother Spike, nice follow-through.

So who's your date?

Hey, Scabby, this here's an associate of mine.

He's here to see Andre.

Well, be careful, brother. Andre's in one of his moods.

He just ate someone who didn't agree with him.

Ha! I hate when that happens.

In you go, Scooter.

Ooh! Nice shoes.

Another Lava Lager.

Sure, Andre.

Hey.

Who approaches Andre the Voracious,

devourer of the meek and helpless,

digester of all who may oppose him,

and leader of the mighty Scavenger pack?

Hey, yo, chief.

It's me, Brother Spike.

It is Brother Spike, O terrifying one,

connoisseur of fine females,

maker of deals,

scourge of the swamp!

Shut up! I know who it is.

Shut up! The great Andre knows who... Aah!

It is.

So, Spike, what do you want?

I'm busy.

I just wanted to introduce you to this guy

who wants to join the pack.

Rob, meet Andre.

And Andre, this is Rob.

Ah, well, my work is done.

See you at supper.

But... but, uh...

So, punk, you want to join the Scavengers?

Yes. Yes, please.

Good idea.

Really?

Yeah.

We're always looking for someone

to use as target practice.

Oh. Well, that's not exactly...

Yeah! You could be our own in-house victim,

someone we could beat up at our leisure.

- I don't know... - Hey, listen up, everybody!

This is Rob.

He's gonna be our new punching bag.

Hey, and be considerate.

If you tear off a limb,

sew it back on for the next guy.

Hey! Ohh!

Hey, congratulations, Sinclair.

Looks like you're a hit.

If I get killed, my parents are not gonna keep feeding you.

Huh? Oh, good point.

And as a gesture of good faith, our new pal Rob

would like to buy brewskis for everybody!

- Yay! - Brewskis! All right!

Just knock back some cold ones.

You'll be best friends in no time!

But I don't drink!

Well... you do now.

You're OK, Sinclair.

Oh, thanks.

How's about another drink?

Oh, OK.

- Uh... - Ah!

Gee, it looks like there are no more drinks.

Well, then, I'm gonna have to rip off your head

and drink your brain.

You're kidding, right?

No.

You have three seconds to run and hide

like a scared little bunny.

- Spike... - I'm closing my eyes.

Spike, wake up! Spike!

Oh, my... Oh!

Ready or not, where's your head?

Ah! Ha!

Hey, come here, you little rabbit!

Hey, hey!

Hey! Hey!

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Help!

Wow! What a great party, huh?

Hey, where's Andre?

Yeah, where is Andre? Where's the new guy?

- I don't know. - Scooter?

You got me.

With that much brew in him, he couldn't have gotten far.

Yo, yo. Check out Sleeping Booty here.

Oh, oh, oh...

Drag it in here.

Look what we got here.

I'm never drinking that much again.

My head is pounding, and my mouth tastes like leather.

It's Andre's glove.

Yeah, and his jacket.

It doesn't take a genius

to figure out what happened here.

Sinclair ate him. He ate our leader.

Posolutely scarfulated him.

- Yeah. - What do you know?

I didn't know you had it in you.

Oh, guys, no. No, no, no. I don't... I couldn't have.

He was just coming at me, and I, uh... I, uh...

I got to go home.

Where do you think you're going, pal?

I gotta go home... Aah!

We got a bit of unfinished business between us.

You look a bit hung-over there, Rob-O.

Have a little too much Andre?

But it must've been an accident or something.

Don't make things difficult, Sinclair.

You ate our leader.

Now take what's coming to you with dignity.

- Oh, no. No, no. - Yeah.

Please, no, no! Please! No!

- Welcome to the club! - Welcome to the club!

The coat looks good.

Wait a minute. I'm a member of the Scavengers?

A member?

Not quite, Sinclair.

You're the leader of the pack.

- Hey! - All right!

So you mean to tell me

your son comes home after being out all night,

and you're just going to sit there and eat your breakfast?

Apparently not.

Earl, he needs the guidance of a mature adult.

Hey! Who stole the prize

out of my Sugar Frosted Boo Boo Bears?

Mine!

Hey, give me that! That's mine.

No!

I saw it first. Come on, give me that.

Earl.

How come he gets to have it? He gets everything.

Coffee, black.

Earl, do you have something to say to your son?

Hey, neat jacket.

That's a Scavengers jacket.

Yeah? So?

So if they see you wearing that, they'll rip out your spine

and make you wear it as a necklace.

- Think again, blubber butt... - Nerd.

Because I happen to be their new leader.

Robbie, the Scavengers are a vicious,

brutal bunch of common hoodlums.

And they made you their new leader?

Boy, I'm impressed.

In a disapproving kind of way, of course.

- Robbie... - Mom, I'm their leader now.

Maybe I can influence them.

Maybe they won't be beating anybody up anymore.

Look, if I have anything to do with it,

they'll really clean up their act.

Hey there, guys, it's me, your new leader.

You want to knock off the roughhousing there

and come to order?

Shut up!

I'm in charge now, maggots.

You do what I say, do it when I say it,

or I'll chew you up, I'll spit you out,

- and I'll dance on your bones. - Whoa.

Well, there's no need to be surly.

Uh... uh, sorry.

You don't have to shout. We're right here.

Sorry, I, uh...

Now what?

Well, chief, uh,

why don't you take a seat on your throne,

and we can discuss the day's agenda.

All right.

All attend now to Robbie,

the Tentative,

the Unsure One,

questionable replacement for Andre the...

Arrgh!

OK, so...

The Sorely Missed.

So, what do you guys do for fun?

Hey, we got a daily schedule.

Take a look at this. There you go. Read it.

"Nine o'clock, find things to beat up.

Ten o'clock, beat 'em up.

Eleven o'clock, beat up the things next to them."

- I like that one. - "Lunch!"

- Good. - "Find things

you beat up in the morning and beat 'em up again."

So if I get the gist of it,

we... beat things up?

Yeah. You got to go with what you know.

And I respect that. I do, I really do.

'Cause you've found something that works, and you do it well.

- Thanks. - Well, thanks.

But you've done it.

So maybe it's time to move on

to something very similar but totally different.

- Well, tell me. - What are you talkin' about?

I'm thinking, you know, why not make friends with the other packs

instead of beating each other up all the time?

- I don't know. - Uh, you mean, uh,

join forces with them?

That's it. We join forces.

And beat up civilians!

No, no. Guys, guys.

No, no, no, no, no, no. Guys, guys, guys, guys.

- What? - And not beat up anybody.

Nobody would beat up anybody.

- What? - Nobody?

Ohh! I see! Of course!

Rather than overt beatings,

we victimize the general populace

in a more subtle fashion.

- Ooh. - Like blackmail.

Extortion, racketeering.

An invisible stranglehold on the music industry!

- Incoming! - Aah!

- Hit the deck! - What was that?

Rival pack drive-by eating.

Why are they trying to kill me?

Oh, I'm sure they have a good reason.

Aha. "Sinclair, you stink."

There you go.

Oh. Well, it's signed "the Predators."

The Predators!

What are we gonna do about it?

Hey! Let's go!

Hey, wait a minute. I want out of this right now.

Hey, sorry, buttercup.

There is no way out.

Once you're a Scavenger,

you're a Scavenger all the way,

from your first cigarette

until you're disemboweled

in a very messy retirement ceremony.

Wait a second, you're telling me

I get killed by a rival pack if I stay

or by my own pack if I go?

Well, that's the pack life for you.

So the only way I get out of here is if I'm...

dead.

Why, Fran? Why?

Why did he have to do this? It's such a waste.

Dad, if you don't buy a casket, it doesn't look like a real funeral.

You're dead. Shut up.

Ahh.

Dad, if Robbie's gonna get out of the pack,

the guys in the Scavengers have to believe he's really dead,

and we've all got to do our part.

That's why I moved his stereo equipment into my room.

Hey! I'm only dead

until the Scavengers find a new leader.

- So? - So I want all my stuff put back now.

Ooh, a threat from beyond the grave.

All right, everybody, here they come.

You, play dead, OK?

Yeah. Right.

Look at the casket, check out that buffet.

He must be dead.

Welcome, fellow mourners.

Yo, Master Spike,

exactly how did rakehead boot the jug?

Oh...

In what manner did he die?

Oh, uh, ah...

It was sudden...

Sudden.

And terrible.

It was terrible, terrible.

There was this electrical storm.

And he was standing naked

on top of the hill.

Uh...

Uh, and he was holding a metal pole.

- Yeah! - Yeah.

When... a bus hit him!

Pow!

Ahh...

Ugly!

Yeah. No buffet for me.

Me, neither.

Let's just have the traditional

nibble on the deceased

- and call it a day, huh? - Yeah.

What?

You're going to eat him?

Yeah. Hey, sweetheart, why do you think they call us the Scavengers?

Spike!

Spike!

Well, that's right.

I forgot about that part.

Shoo.

What's going on here?

- What? - Huh?

Get back! It's the ghost of Andre!

Why aren't you morons out there looking for me?

We thought Sinclair ate you.

Nobody ate me.

I got drunk,

I fell in the swamp, I floated downstream,

hit my head, got amnesia,

was adopted by a family of beavers, built a couple of dams,

remembered who I was,

ate my new parents and walked back.

What?

It never happened to you?

Oh, well, this is great. You're not dead.

Hey, neither am I.

- What? - Oh, big mistake.

I'm so confused.

Everything's OK now. Don't you see?

I didn't eat him. You got your leader back.

It's like the whole thing never happened.

All right, Fran,

let's load the buffet in the coffin and go home.

Not so fast, tubby. Because, my spiky little friend,

it's time for you to die!

No, no, that's completely unnecessary.

You could be the leader again.

Here, here. Take your jacket back.

No!

I can only regain my title

by eating you.

Uh, yeah, I forgot that part too.

Earl, do something.

Um...

All right, you, um... punks.

No, Dad, if I'm ever gonna stop being a victim,

I gotta fight my own fights.

Thank you.

OK, Andre, it's just you and me...

Uh...

Help me.

Ahh!

Well, I think it'll be a while

before the Scavengers mess with Robbie Sinclair.

Right, Dad?

That's right, son.

It was hardly necessary

for me to pull Andre off your lifeless body.

Did you see that part, Fran?

You were wonderful, Earl.

Right up until the moment he screamed like a girl and blacked out.

Daddy.

I spit up on him.

That was very brave, dear.

Look! The battling Sinclairs.

Hey, Spike.

You guys are tough in a fight.

Well...

And you, Mrs. Sinclair, nice left hook.

I can see why Mr. Sinclair considered you quite the catch.

Mmm.

And, Mr. S, well, nice open-hand slapping.

I'd hate to run into you at a white sale.

Gee, thanks.

Well, Scooter, looks like you're safe.

Be a long time

before anybody picks on a Sinclair, huh?

Yeah.

Yeah, well, we couldn't have done it without you, Spike.

I never would have expected you

to turn against your own pack.

Why did you do it?

Well...

I don't know, Scooter.

Mmm. what's for dinner?