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1
00:00:33,202 --> 00:00:35,435
Honey, I'm home.
2
00:00:59,894 --> 00:01:03,096
Hey, looks like your champ's
in trouble here, pally boy.
3
00:01:03,198 --> 00:01:05,531
Ah, he's just getting warmed up.
4
00:01:05,633 --> 00:01:08,568
Come on. Bob and
weave. Weave and bob.
5
00:01:08,670 --> 00:01:11,137
Come on, champ. Use
your left! Use your left!
6
00:01:11,239 --> 00:01:14,040
Gentlemen, the champ is down.
7
00:01:17,145 --> 00:01:20,213
Oh! And the champ's
left arm is bitten off!
8
00:01:20,315 --> 00:01:23,282
A stunned silence
falls over this crowd.
9
00:01:23,384 --> 00:01:25,752
Use your right! Use your right!
10
00:01:25,854 --> 00:01:27,954
Yeah! Get him
while he's chewing.
11
00:01:29,658 --> 00:01:30,968
- Oh!
- Yay!
12
00:01:30,992 --> 00:01:34,761
- Try this dip.
- You got it, Uncle Roy.
13
00:01:34,863 --> 00:01:35,995
Another beer here!
14
00:01:36,097 --> 00:01:37,463
More juice!
15
00:01:44,873 --> 00:01:46,473
Here goes.
16
00:01:48,309 --> 00:01:50,109
Ew!
17
00:01:50,211 --> 00:01:52,312
Hey! Wait, wait.
18
00:01:54,882 --> 00:01:57,617
- Not bad.
- OK, my turn, my turn.
19
00:01:57,719 --> 00:02:01,354
OK, OK, OK.
20
00:02:03,925 --> 00:02:05,791
There you go, pal.
21
00:02:05,893 --> 00:02:07,227
All right, Son, you can do it.
22
00:02:07,329 --> 00:02:10,196
Come on, Junior.
Do it for Daddy.
23
00:02:18,039 --> 00:02:20,340
Well, maybe he'll
develop other interests.
24
00:02:20,442 --> 00:02:23,809
Oh yeah, like collecting
stamps or designing fall fashions.
25
00:02:23,911 --> 00:02:28,047
Come on, little guy. Don't
let me down. You can do it.
26
00:02:28,149 --> 00:02:31,751
Come on. I know
it's in there. Let it out.
27
00:02:31,853 --> 00:02:32,985
Let it happen.
28
00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:43,863
Hey, hey!
29
00:02:43,965 --> 00:02:45,664
Way to go, Son!
30
00:02:45,766 --> 00:02:48,902
Nice work at any age.
31
00:02:50,438 --> 00:02:52,906
Mom, are males born disgusting?
32
00:02:53,008 --> 00:02:55,408
That's the old
nature-nurture question.
33
00:02:55,510 --> 00:02:57,254
I believe they're born
34
00:02:57,278 --> 00:02:59,156
somewhat disgusting
but need to spend years
35
00:02:59,180 --> 00:03:01,547
to fine tune it to a
sort of total grossness.
36
00:03:01,650 --> 00:03:04,050
Hey, Mom, there's a
brontosaurus lady next door.
37
00:03:04,152 --> 00:03:05,885
I wonder if she's
looking at that house.
38
00:03:05,988 --> 00:03:07,453
It's been on the
market for weeks.
39
00:03:07,555 --> 00:03:09,601
Well, she's coming this way.
40
00:03:09,625 --> 00:03:11,091
Oh, and she's an herbivore.
41
00:03:11,192 --> 00:03:13,159
I hope she doesn't
eat the top of the trees.
42
00:03:13,261 --> 00:03:15,495
The leaves are
coming in so nicely.
43
00:03:16,531 --> 00:03:17,864
Hello.
44
00:03:17,966 --> 00:03:19,043
Hi, honey.
45
00:03:19,067 --> 00:03:20,967
My goodness, look
at those earrings.
46
00:03:21,069 --> 00:03:23,670
I could never get away
with that, but you're young
47
00:03:23,771 --> 00:03:26,339
and you can try different
things and I think that's great.
48
00:03:26,441 --> 00:03:28,374
- Is your mother home?
- Oh!
49
00:03:29,344 --> 00:03:31,811
Uh, I'm Charlene Sinclair.
50
00:03:31,913 --> 00:03:33,546
And I'm Fran Sinclair.
51
00:03:33,648 --> 00:03:35,048
Monica Devertebrae.
52
00:03:35,150 --> 00:03:37,483
I'm the real estate agent
selling the house next door.
53
00:03:37,585 --> 00:03:39,385
I'm not keeping
you from anything?
54
00:03:39,421 --> 00:03:42,221
Not at all. I just put
on a pot of coffee.
55
00:03:42,323 --> 00:03:44,801
Ooh! Beautiful kitchen.
Oh, I love dirt walls.
56
00:03:44,825 --> 00:03:46,870
They're just so
hard to keep clean.
57
00:03:46,894 --> 00:03:47,894
Cream? Sugar?
58
00:03:47,929 --> 00:03:49,140
- Straw.
- Oh.
59
00:03:49,164 --> 00:03:51,008
This is my first
listing in the area.
60
00:03:51,032 --> 00:03:53,010
I wanted to meet
some of the neighbors.
61
00:03:53,034 --> 00:03:53,933
There you go.
62
00:03:54,035 --> 00:03:57,770
Oh, thank you. Ahh.
63
00:03:57,872 --> 00:03:59,850
So, do you and your
husband live nearby?
64
00:03:59,874 --> 00:04:01,474
I don't have a husband.
65
00:04:01,576 --> 00:04:02,586
Oh, I'm sorry.
66
00:04:02,610 --> 00:04:04,610
- Tar pit?
- No. Divorced.
67
00:04:04,713 --> 00:04:06,023
- Divorced?
- Huh?
68
00:04:06,047 --> 00:04:07,324
What's that?
69
00:04:07,348 --> 00:04:09,715
It means we were
married, and now we're not.
70
00:04:09,817 --> 00:04:10,883
So, did he get eaten?
71
00:04:10,985 --> 00:04:13,319
I didn't renew my
marriage license.
72
00:04:13,421 --> 00:04:15,332
I didn't know you had to renew.
73
00:04:15,356 --> 00:04:19,058
Oh, sure. Every 20 years,
you have to send in forty bucks.
74
00:04:19,160 --> 00:04:22,495
I took a look at my marriage,
and it wasn't worth forty bucks.
75
00:04:22,597 --> 00:04:24,864
But why? Didn't your
husband buy you a house
76
00:04:24,966 --> 00:04:27,300
or put food on the table or
protect you from predators?
77
00:04:27,402 --> 00:04:29,447
Yes, but there should
be more to marriage.
78
00:04:29,471 --> 00:04:31,816
He didn't care about things
that were important to me.
79
00:04:31,840 --> 00:04:34,340
Like remembering my
birthday, taking me out to dinner
80
00:04:34,442 --> 00:04:36,542
or even sucking
parasites out of my ears.
81
00:04:36,644 --> 00:04:39,044
I mean, he knows
I can't hold a Q-tip.
82
00:04:39,146 --> 00:04:40,880
Oh, but he's just a male.
83
00:04:40,982 --> 00:04:43,817
I know. And that
bought him a lot of years.
84
00:04:43,919 --> 00:04:46,186
How can you possibly
survive on your own?
85
00:04:46,287 --> 00:04:48,188
You know, independence
sounds great,
86
00:04:48,289 --> 00:04:51,124
but personally I'd rather have
a guy sitting around ignoring me
87
00:04:51,226 --> 00:04:52,658
than go out and get a job.
88
00:04:52,761 --> 00:04:56,362
Now, Charlene, a single
female with a career of her own
89
00:04:56,464 --> 00:04:58,264
may sound bizarre at first,
90
00:04:58,366 --> 00:05:01,067
but we all have to find
our own place in this world.
91
00:05:01,169 --> 00:05:04,236
You got a mop? Roy's burped
up something, and it's still moving.
92
00:05:04,338 --> 00:05:06,972
Earl, I'd like you
to meet Monica.
93
00:05:07,075 --> 00:05:09,309
She's the agent selling
the house next door.
94
00:05:09,411 --> 00:05:12,145
Oh, hi. Hey, we're gonna need
some more finger sandwiches.
95
00:05:12,247 --> 00:05:14,459
I've got them right here.
96
00:05:20,489 --> 00:05:24,424
Uh... So, your
husband's in real estate?
97
00:05:24,526 --> 00:05:26,359
No. I'm in real estate.
98
00:05:26,461 --> 00:05:29,462
It's nice that your husband lets
you help him around the office.
99
00:05:29,564 --> 00:05:32,498
So what do you do,
make him coffee?
100
00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:35,301
No. I don't make
coffee for my husband
101
00:05:35,403 --> 00:05:37,503
because I don't have a husband.
102
00:05:37,605 --> 00:05:39,372
A big gal like you?
103
00:05:39,474 --> 00:05:41,941
Learn to make good coffee,
you'll snag a male in no time.
104
00:05:42,043 --> 00:05:44,978
- Earl! Try and stay with me.
- Uh-huh.
105
00:05:45,080 --> 00:05:46,891
Monica doesn't have a husband
106
00:05:46,915 --> 00:05:49,248
because she didn't
renew her marriage license
107
00:05:49,350 --> 00:05:52,885
because her husband
didn't pay attention to her.
108
00:05:54,456 --> 00:05:55,955
I bet it was the coffee.
109
00:05:56,057 --> 00:05:58,725
No. She just feels a
wife deserves respect.
110
00:05:58,827 --> 00:06:00,560
Yeah.
111
00:06:02,296 --> 00:06:04,464
Mmm-hm!
112
00:06:04,566 --> 00:06:06,132
Doh-ho!
113
00:06:08,436 --> 00:06:12,738
Hey, guys, you gotta
listen to this one!
114
00:06:16,310 --> 00:06:19,979
Franny. Franny, it's Thursday.
115
00:06:21,782 --> 00:06:23,895
Wake up, my little
love salamander.
116
00:06:23,919 --> 00:06:26,819
Earl, what do you
think of Monica?
117
00:06:26,921 --> 00:06:28,521
The male-hater?
118
00:06:28,623 --> 00:06:33,926
She is not! And you were
very rude to her this afternoon.
119
00:06:35,730 --> 00:06:39,932
Yes, you're right, Fran.
She's not a male-hater.
120
00:06:40,034 --> 00:06:42,502
In fact, she's a trailblazer,
121
00:06:42,604 --> 00:06:46,172
an inspiration to
somebody... somewhere.
122
00:06:46,274 --> 00:06:48,708
Come on, Franny. It's Thursday.
123
00:06:48,810 --> 00:06:51,343
So you think it's OK for a
female to be without a male?
124
00:06:51,445 --> 00:06:53,345
Not at this particular moment.
125
00:06:53,447 --> 00:06:55,280
I was talking about Monica.
126
00:06:55,382 --> 00:06:57,427
Will you just forget
about Monica?
127
00:06:57,451 --> 00:07:00,086
I think if she didn't want to
renew her marriage license,
128
00:07:00,187 --> 00:07:01,621
she must not have
been very happy.
129
00:07:01,723 --> 00:07:05,558
Happy? Happy? What does
happy have to do with marriage?
130
00:07:05,660 --> 00:07:08,461
Look at me. I'm married,
and I'm not happy.
131
00:07:08,563 --> 00:07:09,629
It's Thursday night.
132
00:07:09,731 --> 00:07:11,864
I'm supposed to be
happy, but I'm not.
133
00:07:11,966 --> 00:07:14,567
- You know whose fault that is?
- Mm.
134
00:07:14,669 --> 00:07:16,469
Monica, the marriage killer!
135
00:07:16,571 --> 00:07:19,839
And she's coming this
way, so lock your doors,
136
00:07:19,941 --> 00:07:21,174
hide your children!
137
00:07:21,276 --> 00:07:24,177
No more Thursday
nights for anybody!
138
00:07:24,279 --> 00:07:26,913
Jeez, I got such stress and
now there's no Thursday nights?
139
00:07:27,015 --> 00:07:28,414
Please, Earl...
140
00:07:28,516 --> 00:07:30,327
Marriage is the very institution
141
00:07:30,351 --> 00:07:32,151
upon which stress
relief is based.
142
00:07:32,253 --> 00:07:34,131
Take that away, and
what have you got?
143
00:07:34,155 --> 00:07:36,000
You got stress all the time.
144
00:07:36,024 --> 00:07:38,064
Like right now. Is that
what you want, Fran?
145
00:07:38,093 --> 00:07:39,224
Hey, what's goin' on?
146
00:07:39,326 --> 00:07:40,893
Your mother's gone insane.
147
00:07:40,995 --> 00:07:42,706
We're talking about
the fact that Monica
148
00:07:42,730 --> 00:07:44,608
didn't renew her
marriage license.
149
00:07:44,632 --> 00:07:46,365
I think that Monica is nuts.
150
00:07:46,467 --> 00:07:49,102
Hey! There's
Daddy's little girl.
151
00:07:49,203 --> 00:07:51,938
I think a female's
place is in the home,
152
00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:54,318
a well decorated home
in a nice part of town.
153
00:07:54,342 --> 00:07:55,975
See, Fran? The
kids agree with me.
154
00:07:56,077 --> 00:07:57,877
They know
instinctively what is right.
155
00:07:57,979 --> 00:07:59,178
Can I say something?
156
00:07:59,280 --> 00:08:01,780
No. 'Cause from you
nothing good ever comes.
157
00:08:01,882 --> 00:08:05,317
- I agree with Mom.
- No kidding.
158
00:08:05,420 --> 00:08:07,464
Jeez, look at this family, Fran.
159
00:08:07,488 --> 00:08:10,590
We can't even get a gender
war right. See? Stress!
160
00:08:10,692 --> 00:08:13,726
In a marriage, the happiness
of both dinosaurs is what counts.
161
00:08:13,828 --> 00:08:16,795
Let's face it, a marriage
license is just a piece of paper.
162
00:08:16,897 --> 00:08:19,532
Just a piece of paper?
Have you ever read it?
163
00:08:19,634 --> 00:08:20,933
No, but...
164
00:08:21,035 --> 00:08:23,335
Mister tradition-butcher,
it's about time you did.
165
00:08:23,437 --> 00:08:26,072
Because after you read just
a few of its inspiring passages,
166
00:08:26,174 --> 00:08:28,841
you won't be so quick to
mock the sacred document
167
00:08:28,943 --> 00:08:30,922
which is always here
on the sacred bookshelf,
168
00:08:30,946 --> 00:08:33,779
somewhere in this
general sacred area.
169
00:08:33,881 --> 00:08:35,448
Earl, isn't it there?
170
00:08:35,550 --> 00:08:37,416
Well, it was, um...
171
00:08:37,518 --> 00:08:38,918
Where? Dah!
172
00:08:39,020 --> 00:08:41,320
Right... here.
173
00:08:41,422 --> 00:08:42,588
Here we go!
174
00:08:42,690 --> 00:08:44,923
You used it to level
the television set?
175
00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:47,359
- Sacred is as sacred does.
- Oh!
176
00:08:47,461 --> 00:08:50,630
This is the cornerstone
of our society.
177
00:08:50,732 --> 00:08:52,531
It's our security
in troubled times,
178
00:08:52,634 --> 00:08:54,967
it's the bond that holds
two dinosaurs together.
179
00:08:55,069 --> 00:08:57,302
It's expired.
180
00:08:59,573 --> 00:09:01,719
Are you sure you have
the right colored form?
181
00:09:01,743 --> 00:09:04,010
The sign said tangerine.
I don't eat tangerines.
182
00:09:04,112 --> 00:09:06,178
How am I supposed to
know what color they are?
183
00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:08,200
Why can't they have
meat-colored forms?
184
00:09:08,282 --> 00:09:09,816
All right, next!
185
00:09:09,918 --> 00:09:12,952
Hi. We're here to renew
our marriage license.
186
00:09:13,054 --> 00:09:15,788
Yeah, yeah. Social
Security number?
187
00:09:15,890 --> 00:09:18,724
Oh, uh... Zero, zero, zero,
188
00:09:18,826 --> 00:09:22,161
zero, zero, zero, zero...
189
00:09:22,263 --> 00:09:23,796
Mmm... One, eight.
190
00:09:23,898 --> 00:09:27,667
Yeah, yeah, let's see.
01-6, 1-7... Ah... 1-8.
191
00:09:27,769 --> 00:09:28,801
Earl Sinclair.
192
00:09:28,903 --> 00:09:31,871
Mrs. Sinclair? Please
step over there.
193
00:09:31,973 --> 00:09:35,140
- Oh.
- Bye, hon.
194
00:09:35,243 --> 00:09:38,845
OK, Mr. Sinclair, put your
hand over your left eye.
195
00:09:38,947 --> 00:09:42,281
Please tell me which one
of these females is your wife.
196
00:09:42,383 --> 00:09:43,761
- I can do that.
- Go ahead.
197
00:09:43,785 --> 00:09:46,119
Oh, it's one. Yeah.
198
00:09:46,221 --> 00:09:47,853
Oh, no, it's number two.
199
00:09:47,955 --> 00:09:49,455
No, it's definitely not three.
200
00:09:49,557 --> 00:09:51,090
Mmm...
201
00:09:51,192 --> 00:09:52,192
Uh...
202
00:09:52,226 --> 00:09:53,526
It's maybe...
203
00:09:53,628 --> 00:09:55,895
Is this a trick question?
Hey, where's 4?
204
00:09:55,997 --> 00:09:57,864
Franny, did you hurt your head?
205
00:09:57,966 --> 00:09:59,132
I got it down to two.
206
00:09:59,234 --> 00:10:05,004
Duh... Oh, gee,
this is tough. Er...
207
00:10:05,106 --> 00:10:08,040
Ow! Oh! Oof!
208
00:10:09,244 --> 00:10:10,810
That one.
209
00:10:10,912 --> 00:10:16,114
Very good. Yes. OK, let's
move to the written test.
210
00:10:16,216 --> 00:10:18,350
We'll send each of you
into a soundproof booth,
211
00:10:18,453 --> 00:10:20,719
where you'll write down
answers to personal questions
212
00:10:20,822 --> 00:10:23,589
- about your relationship.
- Oh?
213
00:10:23,691 --> 00:10:27,693
Then we'll reunite our
couple and compare answers.
214
00:10:27,795 --> 00:10:29,728
Sounds like a game show.
215
00:10:29,831 --> 00:10:31,530
Please, Mr. Sinclair.
216
00:10:31,632 --> 00:10:33,866
- This is a government office.
- Oh, sorry.
217
00:10:33,968 --> 00:10:35,968
We don't play games here.
218
00:10:36,537 --> 00:10:37,603
All right, Earl,
219
00:10:37,705 --> 00:10:40,038
here's your first
ten-point question.
220
00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:41,440
On your wedding day,
221
00:10:41,542 --> 00:10:45,511
Fran wore something that held
great sentimental value to her.
222
00:10:45,613 --> 00:10:46,845
What was it?
223
00:10:46,947 --> 00:10:48,481
Deodorant, Bob.
224
00:10:48,583 --> 00:10:51,684
I'm sorry. Fran said...
225
00:10:51,786 --> 00:10:54,186
My mother's wedding dress.
226
00:10:54,289 --> 00:10:56,856
Oh... I was so close.
227
00:10:56,958 --> 00:10:58,924
OK. Next question, Earl.
228
00:10:59,026 --> 00:11:01,794
Earl, since you've been married,
229
00:11:01,896 --> 00:11:06,365
Fran has asked you to remember
only one matter of a romantic nature.
230
00:11:06,467 --> 00:11:08,500
What is it?
231
00:11:08,602 --> 00:11:11,103
Put the toilet seat down, Bob.
232
00:11:12,373 --> 00:11:13,873
Close, but Fran said
233
00:11:13,975 --> 00:11:15,674
she wanted you to remember...
234
00:11:15,776 --> 00:11:17,943
Our anniversary.
235
00:11:18,846 --> 00:11:21,314
Earl, you said pudding snacks
236
00:11:21,416 --> 00:11:22,815
and Fran said...
237
00:11:22,917 --> 00:11:26,185
"The birth of our first child."
238
00:11:29,657 --> 00:11:31,669
Ooh! That's a clean
sweep there, Earl.
239
00:11:31,693 --> 00:11:33,893
You got all 20 questions wrong,
240
00:11:33,995 --> 00:11:35,695
and interestingly enough,
241
00:11:35,796 --> 00:11:39,131
when we look back at your
newlywed test 20 years ago,
242
00:11:39,234 --> 00:11:41,033
you got every question right.
243
00:11:41,135 --> 00:11:44,036
That's not fair. She was
really interesting back then.
244
00:11:44,138 --> 00:11:48,840
Sure she was. But so what?
I can't renew your license.
245
00:11:52,547 --> 00:11:54,580
Mad?
246
00:11:57,485 --> 00:12:00,219
Well, I'm packed,
I'm ready to move out.
247
00:12:00,321 --> 00:12:02,888
Ready to throw away
20 years of wedded bliss.
248
00:12:02,991 --> 00:12:04,357
If that's what
you think is best.
249
00:12:04,459 --> 00:12:06,070
We're not married, Earl.
250
00:12:06,094 --> 00:12:08,761
Technicality. It has nothing
to do with our relationship
251
00:12:08,863 --> 00:12:10,362
and what we mean to each other.
252
00:12:10,464 --> 00:12:13,498
What's my middle name?
253
00:12:16,003 --> 00:12:17,837
I'm going.
254
00:12:17,939 --> 00:12:20,272
Earl, what about the kids?
255
00:12:20,374 --> 00:12:22,875
Whoa! I know that one.
It's Robbie, Charlene, and...
256
00:12:22,977 --> 00:12:25,144
Uh... Doh...
257
00:12:26,380 --> 00:12:27,613
Something has come up
258
00:12:27,715 --> 00:12:30,349
and we think you're both
mature enough to know the truth.
259
00:12:30,451 --> 00:12:31,951
Huh?
260
00:12:32,053 --> 00:12:36,288
Uh... I got to go to the market
and I have a very long list.
261
00:12:36,390 --> 00:12:37,568
- Earl!
- Dad!
262
00:12:37,592 --> 00:12:39,458
All right, all right.
263
00:12:39,560 --> 00:12:41,993
Your mother and I aren't
technically married anymore
264
00:12:42,096 --> 00:12:43,362
and I'm gonna go stay at Roy's.
265
00:12:43,464 --> 00:12:45,108
We need to spend
a little time apart
266
00:12:45,132 --> 00:12:47,511
and I need to know
you kids are OK with this.
267
00:12:47,535 --> 00:12:48,812
I want therapy.
268
00:12:48,836 --> 00:12:50,035
We're from a broken home.
269
00:12:50,137 --> 00:12:51,971
Happy?
270
00:12:52,073 --> 00:12:54,184
Are you really gonna
leave us, Daddy?
271
00:12:54,208 --> 00:12:56,242
I wish I didn't
have to, little girl.
272
00:12:56,344 --> 00:12:59,078
I wish I could make
it all better, but I can't.
273
00:12:59,180 --> 00:13:01,080
This is one of those
moments in life
274
00:13:01,182 --> 00:13:04,917
that's just miserable and
rotten for every one of us.
275
00:13:05,019 --> 00:13:07,586
♪ Happy days are here again ♪
276
00:13:07,688 --> 00:13:11,356
♪ My daughter's
free from fat boy ♪
277
00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:15,127
♪ My daughter's
free from fat boy ♪
278
00:13:15,229 --> 00:13:17,630
♪ Happy days are here...
279
00:13:21,202 --> 00:13:24,236
- Phew! Tough day, huh?
- Hey, Earl.
280
00:13:24,339 --> 00:13:26,605
Quittin' time, pally boy.
281
00:13:26,708 --> 00:13:30,343
Five o'clock, Roy. About
the time I'd be heading home,
282
00:13:30,445 --> 00:13:32,055
back when I had a home.
283
00:13:32,079 --> 00:13:34,513
Water under the
bridge, pally boy.
284
00:13:34,615 --> 00:13:35,981
Now it's party time.
285
00:13:36,083 --> 00:13:39,218
You and me, two
single guys on the prowl,
286
00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:42,955
hunting down females
with low self-esteem.
287
00:13:43,057 --> 00:13:45,524
Gee, Roy, I don't feel
much like prowling.
288
00:13:45,626 --> 00:13:48,126
Even if I did, I wouldn't
remember how.
289
00:13:48,229 --> 00:13:50,229
Aw! Piece of cake, Earl.
290
00:13:50,331 --> 00:13:51,775
I'll show you how it's done.
291
00:13:51,799 --> 00:13:55,234
Look, you be the
chick. I'll pick you up.
292
00:13:55,336 --> 00:13:56,802
I don't want to.
293
00:13:56,904 --> 00:13:59,605
Hey! Slow down
there, pally girl.
294
00:13:59,707 --> 00:14:01,007
You're way ahead of me.
295
00:14:01,109 --> 00:14:03,575
I haven't even
asked you out yet.
296
00:14:03,677 --> 00:14:05,211
Get away from me.
297
00:14:05,313 --> 00:14:08,680
Ho-ho-ho! A spirited filly.
298
00:14:08,782 --> 00:14:12,451
So, my lovely, tell
me about yourself.
299
00:14:12,553 --> 00:14:16,155
Well, the first thing you
should know is that I'm a guy!
300
00:14:16,257 --> 00:14:19,424
Isn't that interesting?
You don't say?
301
00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:21,271
Now, listen, this is crucial.
302
00:14:21,295 --> 00:14:23,173
You gotta listen
to what they say,
303
00:14:23,197 --> 00:14:25,697
which is tough, a lot of
it ain't that interesting,
304
00:14:25,799 --> 00:14:29,034
they almost never talk
about wrestling or chicks.
305
00:14:29,136 --> 00:14:31,070
They really go for
this listening thing?
306
00:14:31,172 --> 00:14:33,004
Yeah, in a big way.
307
00:14:33,106 --> 00:14:36,074
You gotta make a genuine
effort to pretend you're interested,
308
00:14:36,176 --> 00:14:39,144
and you gotta
remember the details.
309
00:14:39,246 --> 00:14:42,013
Tell you what, I've got
some books on the subject.
310
00:14:42,115 --> 00:14:44,983
Why don't we just
go back to my place?
311
00:14:45,085 --> 00:14:47,686
Hey, hey. Wait a minute.
Am I still the chick?
312
00:14:47,788 --> 00:14:50,222
'Cause if I am, you
gotta buy dinner first.
313
00:14:50,324 --> 00:14:51,401
Yeah.
314
00:14:51,425 --> 00:14:53,370
How are you holding up, Fran?
315
00:14:53,394 --> 00:14:56,862
Oh, I'm fine. It's a
whole new life for me.
316
00:14:56,964 --> 00:14:58,764
I got this at the supermarket.
317
00:14:58,866 --> 00:15:01,000
Look, "Companion
Cuisine for Single Adults"
318
00:15:01,102 --> 00:15:04,870
"The meal that keeps you
company, until you eat it."
319
00:15:06,106 --> 00:15:10,576
So, I understand you're single.
320
00:15:10,678 --> 00:15:12,111
What happened? Somebody die?
321
00:15:12,213 --> 00:15:14,479
Hey! It helps to talk.
What's your name?
322
00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:15,814
Uh, Fran.
323
00:15:15,916 --> 00:15:17,382
Well, pleased to meet you, Fran.
324
00:15:17,484 --> 00:15:19,351
Feel free to baste
me while we talk.
325
00:15:19,453 --> 00:15:21,487
Oh!
326
00:15:21,589 --> 00:15:23,422
I just feel bad
about you and Earl,
327
00:15:23,524 --> 00:15:25,444
and that somehow
all of this is my fault.
328
00:15:25,526 --> 00:15:26,725
Oh! Don't be ridiculous.
329
00:15:26,827 --> 00:15:29,895
You know, last night
after I put the kids to bed,
330
00:15:29,997 --> 00:15:31,229
I sat down with a good book
331
00:15:31,331 --> 00:15:34,199
for the first time in I
don't know how long.
332
00:15:34,301 --> 00:15:36,301
Really? What were you reading?
333
00:15:36,403 --> 00:15:38,637
Oh, who the hell remembers?
334
00:15:38,739 --> 00:15:40,819
I spent the whole time
thinking about Earl,
335
00:15:40,908 --> 00:15:43,041
staring at Earl's
side of the bed,
336
00:15:43,144 --> 00:15:45,778
wondering what shirt Earl
was going to wear tomorrow.
337
00:15:45,880 --> 00:15:47,590
Oh, how are the
children holding up?
338
00:15:47,614 --> 00:15:51,450
Oh, you know kids. These
things don't faze them at all.
339
00:15:51,552 --> 00:15:53,618
It's amazing how
resilient they are.
340
00:15:59,594 --> 00:16:02,661
Ah! Heh-heh-heh.
341
00:16:05,599 --> 00:16:06,931
Ah!
342
00:16:07,034 --> 00:16:08,100
Oh, my.
343
00:16:08,202 --> 00:16:09,801
Yeah.
344
00:16:14,675 --> 00:16:16,241
Yo, Mom.
345
00:16:16,343 --> 00:16:18,244
What are you doing?
346
00:16:18,346 --> 00:16:20,423
Whoa! I'm just grabbin' a beer,
347
00:16:20,447 --> 00:16:22,748
then I gotta get over to
the mud wrestling palace.
348
00:16:22,850 --> 00:16:23,930
Trixie goes on at ten.
349
00:16:24,018 --> 00:16:25,929
I gotta be there to
hose her off, you know.
350
00:16:25,953 --> 00:16:27,252
Trixie?
351
00:16:27,354 --> 00:16:28,987
Yeah!
352
00:16:29,090 --> 00:16:31,723
Ahoy! Ahoy there.
353
00:16:31,825 --> 00:16:32,857
Is Charlene in?
354
00:16:32,959 --> 00:16:34,960
Ahoy, mates.
355
00:16:35,062 --> 00:16:36,762
Whoa!
356
00:16:36,864 --> 00:16:40,165
Well, here you go,
Fran. I've got a date.
357
00:16:40,267 --> 00:16:41,967
No, you don't!
358
00:16:42,069 --> 00:16:45,036
And you get this
thing out of my kitchen!
359
00:16:45,139 --> 00:16:47,840
You're not going on any
date. This is a school night.
360
00:16:47,942 --> 00:16:49,341
You're in your room.
361
00:16:49,443 --> 00:16:50,675
Oh, Mom!
362
00:16:50,777 --> 00:16:53,545
And you have homework, Robert.
363
00:16:53,647 --> 00:16:54,813
Aw, Mom!
364
00:16:54,915 --> 00:16:56,081
Jeez!
365
00:16:56,183 --> 00:16:58,250
And as for you...
366
00:16:58,352 --> 00:17:00,786
- Wrong house!
- Let's go see Trixie.
367
00:17:00,888 --> 00:17:02,021
I got dibs on the hose!
368
00:17:04,191 --> 00:17:07,059
Maybe they're not handling
this as well as I thought.
369
00:17:07,161 --> 00:17:10,061
They're living in a
single-parent home now.
370
00:17:10,163 --> 00:17:13,065
It's an adjustment for them,
not having a male role model.
371
00:17:13,167 --> 00:17:14,332
Buy me a dress.
372
00:17:14,434 --> 00:17:17,002
Boy, do I have to talk to them.
373
00:17:17,104 --> 00:17:18,815
- All three of them.
- More rouge!
374
00:17:18,839 --> 00:17:20,973
And I need to get the
baby ready for bed,
375
00:17:21,075 --> 00:17:23,843
and I haven't figured out
what I'm making Earl for lunch...
376
00:17:23,945 --> 00:17:28,347
Stop. You're doing fine.
You just need to relax.
377
00:17:28,449 --> 00:17:30,549
Now, let your
mother watch the kids,
378
00:17:30,651 --> 00:17:32,495
and you and I will
go out for an hour.
379
00:17:32,519 --> 00:17:34,186
I've already opened dinner.
380
00:17:34,288 --> 00:17:36,288
Fran, she's right,
381
00:17:36,390 --> 00:17:37,689
you need some time for yourself.
382
00:17:37,791 --> 00:17:39,792
You go, I'll slip
into a freezer bag.
383
00:17:39,894 --> 00:17:43,195
I'll be fine. Huh?
384
00:17:43,297 --> 00:17:44,429
I'll eat him.
385
00:17:48,402 --> 00:17:51,203
Hey, this single
scene's pretty wild, huh?
386
00:17:51,305 --> 00:17:54,005
Looks like every other night
we come in here after work.
387
00:17:54,108 --> 00:17:58,243
So, Earl, before the frenzy
begins and we got a moment,
388
00:17:58,345 --> 00:18:00,779
what do you look
for in the fair sex?
389
00:18:00,881 --> 00:18:04,917
You a leg guy? Or maybe
a haunch-chaser. Heh-heh.
390
00:18:05,019 --> 00:18:09,554
Some guys prefer the legs,
others a good set of teeth.
391
00:18:09,657 --> 00:18:11,723
I like the ones
that look like Fran.
392
00:18:11,826 --> 00:18:14,326
Well, me, I'm a neck guy.
393
00:18:14,428 --> 00:18:17,162
You can't get a head
too far from the shoulders,
394
00:18:17,264 --> 00:18:18,763
as far as I'm concerned.
395
00:18:18,866 --> 00:18:22,067
The longer, the better! Heh-heh!
396
00:18:22,169 --> 00:18:25,237
Yeah, I remember
my first girlfriend.
397
00:18:25,339 --> 00:18:26,872
Longest neck in school.
398
00:18:26,974 --> 00:18:30,008
One day we went riding in
her daddy's convertible, see?
399
00:18:30,110 --> 00:18:32,611
And, well, there
was this low bridge...
400
00:18:32,713 --> 00:18:34,746
- Hi.
- Hey, Roy! Look.
401
00:18:37,685 --> 00:18:38,685
Duh!
402
00:18:38,786 --> 00:18:41,753
Go get me a ladder. I'm in love!
403
00:18:41,855 --> 00:18:44,234
Hey, let's make our move, huh?
404
00:18:44,258 --> 00:18:46,224
Roy, one of them's my wife.
405
00:18:46,327 --> 00:18:48,527
Well, right away you have
something in common.
406
00:18:48,629 --> 00:18:50,528
What do I do? What do I do?
407
00:18:50,630 --> 00:18:53,298
Details. Remember the details.
408
00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:56,702
- Dee-da-dee-dee.
- Details. Details.
409
00:18:56,804 --> 00:18:59,337
Hey, I was here first.
410
00:19:08,115 --> 00:19:09,781
Aren't we Mr. Macho?
411
00:19:09,883 --> 00:19:13,351
Play your cards right, and
you could be Mrs. Macho.
412
00:19:13,453 --> 00:19:16,222
- Ohh...
- Yep.
413
00:19:29,069 --> 00:19:31,570
Hi, I'm Earl.
414
00:19:31,672 --> 00:19:33,238
I know.
415
00:19:35,909 --> 00:19:37,776
Do you come here often?
416
00:19:37,878 --> 00:19:39,878
You know I don't.
417
00:19:39,980 --> 00:19:42,114
Uh...
418
00:19:42,215 --> 00:19:46,084
So... Uh... Can I
buy you a drink?
419
00:19:46,186 --> 00:19:49,688
- I have one.
- So you do.
420
00:19:49,790 --> 00:19:51,456
Looks good. What is it?
421
00:19:51,558 --> 00:19:53,103
It's a white wine spritzer.
422
00:19:53,127 --> 00:19:56,261
Spritzer! It's a spritzer,
it's a spritzer, it's a spritzer.
423
00:19:56,363 --> 00:19:58,930
Uh, so, um...
424
00:19:59,033 --> 00:20:00,431
What sign are you?
425
00:20:00,534 --> 00:20:02,567
Uh, Pisces.
426
00:20:02,669 --> 00:20:07,005
Pisces! Pisces, spritzer.
Pisces, Pisces pitzi...
427
00:20:07,107 --> 00:20:10,241
Oh! Excuse me. Duh...
428
00:20:10,343 --> 00:20:13,712
I... Uh... Duh...
429
00:20:13,814 --> 00:20:15,814
Spriz, spriz...
430
00:20:15,916 --> 00:20:18,217
Is spritzer with a "z"?
431
00:20:19,019 --> 00:20:20,452
What are you doing?
432
00:20:20,554 --> 00:20:23,755
Oh, well when I
meet a chick I like,
433
00:20:23,858 --> 00:20:25,424
I want to know all about her.
434
00:20:25,526 --> 00:20:27,192
Since when?
435
00:20:27,294 --> 00:20:30,795
Since I realized how
much it means to them.
436
00:20:30,898 --> 00:20:33,098
Well...
437
00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:36,601
Chicks like it when
you care enough to try.
438
00:20:36,703 --> 00:20:42,107
You know, you seem
like a happening babe.
439
00:20:42,209 --> 00:20:44,543
I know we just met,
440
00:20:44,645 --> 00:20:48,981
but what do you say we
go someplace a little more...
441
00:20:49,082 --> 00:20:50,849
romantic?
442
00:20:52,887 --> 00:20:54,853
I'd like that.
443
00:21:00,360 --> 00:21:01,660
This is lovely.
444
00:21:01,762 --> 00:21:03,662
I thought you'd like it.
445
00:21:03,764 --> 00:21:07,332
You know, I missed you.
446
00:21:07,435 --> 00:21:09,701
I missed you, too.
447
00:21:09,804 --> 00:21:12,304
- I got you flowers.
- Aw!
448
00:21:12,406 --> 00:21:14,406
Ragweed. It's your favorite.
449
00:21:14,508 --> 00:21:17,776
Oh, no! What?
450
00:21:17,878 --> 00:21:20,545
Roses are my favorite
flower. Not ragweed.
451
00:21:20,647 --> 00:21:22,347
Well, I knew it
had an "R" in it.
452
00:21:22,449 --> 00:21:24,216
I should have written it down.
453
00:21:24,318 --> 00:21:27,586
OK. You got five points for
remembering her favorite drink,
454
00:21:27,688 --> 00:21:30,321
10 for remembering
your anniversary,
455
00:21:30,424 --> 00:21:34,059
her birthday, your
birthday, favorite color,
456
00:21:34,161 --> 00:21:36,995
and 25 for her favorite
international coffee.
457
00:21:37,098 --> 00:21:38,098
Woo!
458
00:21:38,132 --> 00:21:40,331
Let's see. That's 5, 10, 25...
459
00:21:40,433 --> 00:21:44,203
Oh, another 5 points and I
could have renewed your license.
460
00:21:44,305 --> 00:21:46,471
- Whoa. Just stop right there.
- Huh?
461
00:21:46,573 --> 00:21:49,808
Who are you to make judgments
about how much we mean to each other?
462
00:21:49,910 --> 00:21:51,790
Sure, the little
things are important,
463
00:21:51,845 --> 00:21:53,490
but what about the big things,
464
00:21:53,514 --> 00:21:55,257
like spending 20 years together,
465
00:21:55,281 --> 00:21:56,615
raising three kids,
466
00:21:56,717 --> 00:21:58,984
and seeing each other
through the hard times?
467
00:21:59,085 --> 00:22:01,152
And what about love?
468
00:22:02,523 --> 00:22:06,090
I bet there's no place in your
official score sheet for love.
469
00:22:06,192 --> 00:22:09,995
Love? Well, uh, uh...
470
00:22:10,097 --> 00:22:12,597
Oh, yeah, here it
is. Hey, three points.
471
00:22:12,699 --> 00:22:14,499
Hey, and look at this!
472
00:22:14,601 --> 00:22:17,769
Seeing each other through the
hard times is another three points.
473
00:22:17,871 --> 00:22:21,006
That's uh... Congratulations!
474
00:22:21,108 --> 00:22:22,574
You're renewed.
475
00:22:22,676 --> 00:22:25,477
Oh!
476
00:22:25,579 --> 00:22:28,714
Oh, thank you.
477
00:22:28,815 --> 00:22:31,116
You see, Franny,
if I put my mind to it,
478
00:22:31,218 --> 00:22:34,085
I can remember all the important
stuff about our relationship.
479
00:22:34,187 --> 00:22:36,722
Oh, you sure can.
480
00:22:36,823 --> 00:22:38,590
Come on, big boy,
481
00:22:38,692 --> 00:22:42,160
let's go home and
pretend it's Thursday.
482
00:22:42,263 --> 00:22:44,463
Doh!
483
00:22:44,565 --> 00:22:46,431
Thursday? Yeah!
484
00:22:46,533 --> 00:22:47,932
Spaghetti night.
35090
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