Original subtitles

Honey, I'm home.

- Open up. - Mm-mmm.

- Come on. - Mm-mmm.

I know your mouth hurts.

It's 'cause your teeth are coming in.

Mine are going out.

It's the cycle of life, a beautiful thing.

Now eat this or I'll kill you.

Ahh...

Now, was that so bad?

Hi, Mom. Does his mouth still hurt?

He's working through it, but we're running out of spoons.

Aw, I know it hurts when you're teething,

but Mommy brought you some Numbgum

to make it all better. Open your mouth.

Ooh!

Thanks.

Mama make me all better.

Mommy meek moe me muh...

Meep...

It makes his whole mouth numb.

Oh, isn't that precious?

He's drooling, just like his father.

I don't know. Maybe Earl and I shouldn't go out to dinner tonight.

You go out. Have a wonderful time.

Who knows? Maybe you'll meet somebody.

I'm going out with Earl.

Doesn't mean you have to come back with him.

Hello, honey.

- Hi, Daddy. - Oh, hi, Charlene!

- Can I have ten dollars? - No! Absolutely not.

What do you want it for?

Um... college?

OK, not college, but it's education-related.

I need to accessorize my gym outfit.

It just doesn't say "me" yet.

Charlene, this thing is a dollar.

Do you have any idea what the value of a dollar is?

A dollar?

OK. Technically, you're right,

but it's more complicated when you have to earn that dollar.

I remember the first dollar I ever earned. What a week.

Dad, can I have ten dollars?

Certainly, Son. Here you go.

Hey!

Problem, Sis?

Yeah! How come you get money and I don't?

'Cause I earned it.

I cut the grass, took out the trash,

I listened to Dad talk about the old days.

And your brother is older than you.

He knows the value of money and how to spend it wisely.

Go on, Son. Tell your sister the responsible plans

you have for this money.

Me and Spike are going to hang out at Goofy Golf

and try to pick up girls.

- Godspeed, Son. - Thanks.

- This is so unfair! - Ha ha! Kids.

Oh!

Honey, your mouth feel good?

Feeb me now! Fleed my face!

Grandma will give you dinner later.

Mommy and Daddy are going out.

Franny, tell me honestly... if some guy, out of the blue,

calls up somebody my age and asks her out,

should she go?

- Of course, Mom. - See ya.

Don't you roll away from me.

You're baby-sitting tonight.

Mama blaybee. Mama blub me!

Franny... when was the last time

I spent an evening alone with a consenting male?

I can't remember.

Neither can I. Good night.

Uh...

M-Mom?

I can do it. Oh, let me do it.

Let me do it! I'm responsible.

Some family members think I'm not responsible,

but I am. Pay me and I'll show you.

I appreciate your enthusiasm, but Robbie's older.

He'll stay with the baby.

Why does he always get to be the older one?

Oh, Daddy!

Daddy, Grandma can't baby-sit tonight.

Let me.

This way I could earn some money.

You in charge of a baby? That's a good idea.

Why don't we just hand him over to scavengers?

- Ugh. Daddy! - This is an infant, Charlene.

He's vulnerable. He's helpless!

Look at him. Such a sweet little thing.

Don't pinch his cheek!

Mmnn... nyaaahh!

Whoa...

Oh!

I think the Numbgum wore off.

What was your first clue, Fran?

Gaah!

Dad, please don't make me baby-sit. It's so humiliating.

How am I gonna hold my head up at Goofy Golf?

Robbie, you're getting two bucks an hour. Quit your griping!

Come on, Fran.

All right, dear.

We're late for our romantic evening. Get the lead out!

All right, all right.

Just one last squirt before we go.

Gaba gooba mugga lugga, Mama!

Aw... I love you, too.

Robbie, we won't be late.

I wrote down the number of the restaurant.

- Don't you dare call! - Yes, Dad.

- We'll be back at 11. - Will you come on?

You know where the first-aid kit is,

and don't let any predators into the house.

Out, out, out! The boy is completely capable.

I have the utmost confidence in him.

He would never betray our trust.

Bye!

OK, here's the deal...

I'm cutting out. You watch the kid.

What?

If they think I'm baby-sitting on a Friday, they're crazy.

Who gets the cash?

I do.

I'm taking a big risk leaving you in charge,

but I'm looking out for you. You get all the glory.

What glory?

I'll tell Mom and Dad I got real sick and you took over.

You were responsible all over the place.

Bang! Your baby-sitting career is up and running. You're a star.

- Then I want half the cash. - You are vicious.

How do you live with yourself?

Is that the sound of ladies' night at Goofy Golf?

"Oh, Robbie, we're holding our clubs wrong."

"We're cute. Please come and help us!"

All right, all right, half.

But please don't screw this up.

OK.

Yes! Ha-ha!

OK, Junior, it's just you and me.

Hmm...

don't play games with me.

Ow! Ow! Hey...

Made you look!

You come down here this instant.

OK!

Whee!

Oh! Hmm...

Again!

Well, aren't you the cutest little thing?

"Then Goldilocks took a bite the second one,

but its flesh was too soft."

"Then she took a bite of the itsy-bitsy baby one,

and its flesh was just right,

so she ate him all up." Chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp.

Now, isn't this fun?

Let me go!

Oh, don't get up. I'll get it.

♪ La la la la la ♪

Hello? Oh, hi, Mindy. No, I'm not too busy.

You're kidding!

Ooh, I want to hear every detail!

He did?

Franny, what is wrong? Aren't you hungry?

Your appetizer is getting cold.

I was just thinking about Mom not being there

and the kids all by themselves.

No, no kids. This is supposed to be an evening of love.

Can't we just pretend they're dead? Please?

I'll make one quick phone call.

Then I'm all yours, big boy.

Females... they can't help worrying.

Yeah... I'm kind of worried myself.

So Brad goes, "No way,"

and I'm like "Yes way" and Cindy goes, "Brad's right."

I go, "Cindy, I don't remember asking you,"

then she throws me up this attitude, like,

"Oh, you've hurt my feelings."

Oh, that? That's nothing. Just my stupid baby brother.

You know... "Feed me", "Change me", "Untie me."

Anyway, I'm standing in the hall talking to Cindy and Brad.

I really want Cindy to disappear,

but she stands around forever.

Aah... Ow!

Forgot, can't walk.

Hello, little fellow.

Huh? Who's that?

A friend. In the refrigerator.

I've got lots of surprises for you.

That's it. What a clever little fellow!

Now open the door so we can play.

Uh-uh!

Please?

- Uh-uh! - Open it!

Mama said don't talk to fridge.

- I'll give you a present. - OK.

Excellent!

Whoa!

Cowabunga!

So Cindy was wrong again. She's, like, a total liar.

I don't know why Brad likes her.

Ugh!

It's my adorable little brother again. This won't take long.

Hold on.

OK, you little pink pest,

how many times have I gotta...

Where... What did you... Oh! Oh!

Like I need this now!

Ugh! I'm not cleaning this up!

Ugh! Kids.

I wish I were an only child.

Ugh!

Mindy, I gotta go. I gotta go kill my baby brother.

Huh?

Huh?

Mindy hung up, but we're here, Charlene!

Wha...?

What's that?

Aah!

Uh... hello?

Charlene, is everything OK? The line was busy.

Oh, Mom. Uh, yeah. Robbie's baby-sitting... and I'm not,

and, uh, everything's fine.

What's that noise? Do you have friends over?

No! Uh, it's just the TV.

So, you guys coming home soon?

Not for a while. How's your little brother?

Um... fine.

Well, as long as everything's OK.

We'll see you soon. Bye, honey.

Yeah, bye, Mom.

Uh, Mom? Um, love you.

Oh!

Oh, Charlene...

so good of you to come to our little...

party.

Oh!

So, Charlene... we meet again.

- We do? - Don't play the fool with me!

In the crisper section, they call me Chow.

Chow the Merciless!

But you know me as Chow the Delicious.

That was your hand?

Oh! You're from the refrigerator, am I right?

How astute. I trust my cabbage needs no introduction.

Um, uh... no. 'Course not!

We are the survivors of your family's incessant eating!

I'm trying to cut down.

Do you know what it's like in there?

I spent four months in the cheese bin

crouched behind a wedge of Gouda,

never knowing when the refrigerator light would come on.

The light! The light!

You're spoiled.

You've gone rotten!

Silence!

We have your baby brother.

What?

Unless you do what we say,

you'll never see him again.

- What do you think of that? - You're just food.

I eat guys like you for lunch.

Do not toy with me, Charlene!

We are desperate and ruthless

and know not the meaning of fear!

Out the light!

- Boo. - Aah! R-Robbie?

- Duh! How's the kid? - The food! The food got him!

He got out of the refrigerator. There was this big noise,

then the lights went out,

and the phone went off and then the food was laughing at me...

and Chow and the pet cabbage... and they took the baby!

Oh, how could you do this to me? Mom and Dad left me in charge!

You think this means we won't get paid?

Paid? We're gonna get killed!

Mom and Dad really like the baby.

- It's not my fault! - Oh! Oh, it's my fault?

You left me in charge! What were you thinking?

I was thinking maybe I could leave the house for an hour

and not come back to find the baby kidnapped by crazed leftovers!

OK, we gotta find him. OK, let's split up and search.

All right.

Whoever finds him gets all the baby-sitting money.

- Deal! - All right.

Wait!

Go! Go!

I got to find you. Are... are you there?

Up there?

Three, two, one!

Timber!

Robbie, it's me, Charlene!

Help me!

Charlene, are you OK?

Huh? Ah!

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

Easy!

The kids are fine.

If not, we'll make more.

Oh, you're right, Earl. I know you're right.

It's just my female intuition.

Franny, please, could you just, for one evening,

forget you're a female so I can get romantic with you?

Ohh...

Why, after dinner, I was even thinking that we could...

b... b-buh... blub...

Vor thum theen.

Earl, you animal!

Mmm...

There's thumthing wong mith my mouth.

Numbgthum?

Is monsieur ready to order?

Flease, will you call me a thoctor?

Oh, yes. It is... excellent tonight!

Thenk thoo, thenk thoo.

Well, this is a pretty picture, isn't it, Cabby?

How do they look to you? Delicious?

- Grr! - Oh, Cabby's mad.

Down, Cabby! Down! Down!

Not yet.

- So, Charlene... - Now what?

How does it feel to be on the other side of the fork?

Ow!

You'll never get away with this,

- you rancid, half-eaten... - Silence!

If you wish to see your baby brother alive again,

you must satisfy the following demands...

First, we want jogging outfits.

- No cheap knock-offs. - Designer names.

Second, a comprehensive dental plan.

No deductible, we wanna pick our own doctors.

Yes!

Third, we want 40 million helicopters and a dollar.

- Huh? - What?

Mm-hmm. Oh.

Oh, thank you. I stand corrected...

40 million dollars and a helicopter.

It says that the effects should wear off in about an hour or so.

I wanted thith to be suth a thpecial eveeng for uth!

I know, dear. Let's just get the check and go home.

I can't stop worrying about the kids, anyway.

Hey!

Monsieur, your canapes call-me-the-docteur!

Ooh!

Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.

Pluuh...

thith ith no fun.

And lastly, we want our own Saturday morning cartoon show.

With full creative control.

So, those are our demands. Will you meet them?

OK, we'll meet 'em.

What?

You will? Hmm, that was easy.

And you said they could not be reasoned with, Cabby.

But we're not bringing you any of it until you bring us the baby!

Ah! The negotiation has begun. Good!

This is the part I love...

the give, the take, the quid pro quo. Yes!

So, you have made your opening gambit,

and it was, uh...

- What? - The baby.

Ah, yes, the baby! Very, very shrewd.

Fine. Done. Good. Bring the brat to me!

What are you doing? We don't have any of that stuff!

- Trust me. - Oh, trust you?

Like I trusted you to baby-sit?

Look, I got us into this. I'll get us out of it.

Oh, yeah, right.

All right, then, stop this clandestine chatter!

- Junior! Oh, are you OK? - Playing with food!

As you see, we have fulfilled our side of the bargain.

Now you have 30 seconds to fulfill your side,

or else I will feed you to Cabby!

Now, Charlene! Run for it!

Aah! Cabby!

Cabby!

You killed my Cabby!

Our negotiations are off!

Prepare the kitchen.

Tonight we feast...

on them.

How does it feel

now that the buffet tables are turned?

Charlene, I'd be willing to listen to any suggestions you have.

General Chow, I think you should eat the baby first.

- What? - Huh? Hmm...

That's your suggestion?

Well, look at him. He's so plump and tender.

Just feel those juicy little cheeks.

Mmm, they do look rather tempting.

Go ahead. Give them a really good, hard pinch.

Oh!

OK.

Warning!

Mmff! Ow!

Aah!!

Keep him away from me!

No! No! No!

You are a much more cunning opponent than I imagined, Charlene.

Thank you.

No wonder your parents trust you to guard their home.

Unfortunately, I could not have anticipated your secret weapon.

Keep him back!

Tried to warn you.

I'm sorry about your friend the, uh, lettuce.

He was no lettuce.

He was a cabbage.

We shall not soon see his like again.

Oh.

Thank you, Cupcake.

All right, men...

back to the fridge.

Come on.

Do not think you have seen the last of me.

Old food never dies...

it just goes bad.

OK. Now Mom and Dad are gonna be home any minute.

I don't wanna hear a word out of you about any of this!

- Pay me! - No!

Deal.

- Huh? - Female intuition... ha!

Everything looks just fine to my non-intuitive male eyes.

It's the Mama!

There, there. How is Mommy's little angel?

- Are you hungry? - No more food!

Son, here is your well-earned baby-sitting money,

my responsible eldest child.

- Oh, uh, thanks, Dad. - Uh, gee, Rob, look...

Two fives. That could be one for you and one for your sister,

who basically pulled your butt out of the fire.

Yeah.

Somebody want to explain what went on?

I wasn't feeling too good, and Charlene kind of took over,

and did all the baby-sitting, and handled it real well,

and you should trust her from now on.

Maybe you are ready for more responsibility.

She's growing up, isn't she, Earl?

Gee, I guess my little girl has matured.

This is a genuine family milestone.

- Yeah. - I'm going to bed.

But, Dad...

So, Robbie, are you still feeling sick?

Uh, well, no, Mom. I...

He just had some food that didn't agree with him.

Uh, that's it. Yeah!